Fire & Rain
by vicvic221
Summary: Cast out from Asgard, Loki returns to Earth powerless and with the help of a young university student, Raleigh Alexander, begins a search for an ancient book that could change his fate. Despite his attempts to steel himself from her, despite her struggle to keep her dignity, the pair find themselves locked in a battle that may cost them their lives, as well as their hearts. Loki/OC
1. Unworthy

**Disclaimer:**I do not own any of the characters mentioned from this point on related to the Marvel Universe by way of film, television, comic, or any other medium. They are licensed to their respective owners who have graciously given permission for individuals such as me to write new tales and I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to play with them and set them upon new ventures of my own imagining. I do, however, own the original characters and all that is non-canon as well as the plot (obviously). I ask that you please respect my wishes and do not duplicate my work unless given my express permission and I thank you in advance for that courtesy.

_**A/N: **__This is likely the first time I have ventured out of my typical comfort zone of writing parody Twilight fics or Harry Potter fan fiction. Were it not for a friend who encouraged me, I would not have even considered writing this seriously yet alone publishing it on here. With that being said, I'd greatly appreciate reviews. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have writing it. -Vic_

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Chapter One: Unworthy

In the beginning, there was nothing. Yet across the expanse came darkness and then light, and from it two worlds were born at either side of the great void: to the North there was Niflheim and to the South, Muspelheim. With their combined strengths, the cold of the North and warmth of the South, they created the first giant, Ymir, who fathered the giants whilst his cow licked the first Asgardian from the ice: Buri.

Buri gave way to a son, Borr, who went on to marry the giantess Bestla and from their union sprung the Æsir: Vili, Ve, and Odin. The three brothers grew to hate the giant Ymir and overthrew him, slaying him. The giant's blood formed a great sea and from it they raised Ymir's body to create Midgard which they hung it between Muspelheim and Niflheim. The giants bones became the mountains, his hair birthed trees, and they then took Ymir's skull and raised it above Midgard to create the heavens above Earth.

The sparks left within it from Muspelheim became the sun, moon, and stars and upon completing Midgard, Odin and his brothers left the realm, moving above it to create a home for themselves that they called Asgard. Asgard became one of the nine worlds and its people became the Asgardians. Across the plane were eight other distinct regions: Alfheim, home of the Light Elves; Hel, realm of the dead who were neither honored nor dishonored; Jotunheim, the land of the giants; Nidavellir, home to the dwarves; Svartalfheim, the world of the Dark Elves; Muspelheim, which became home to the demons; Vanaheim, which housed the Vanir, Asgardian's sister race; and Midgard, which became home to the mortals of Earth, but was honored for its ties to Asgardian history.

In the center of Asgard was Yggdrasil, the ash tree that supported the nine worlds and extended into the dimensions beyond Asgard with its great roots. From it came knowledge and power, leading to the longevity enjoyed by the Asgardian citizens and it was there that Odin sacrificed himself to gain the knowledge to rule.

As Asgard grew, word of the realm spread to Earth and thus the legends of the Norsemen were born. Its songs and tales were carried across the bifrost bridge which connected the worlds and the mortals adapted them to suit their needs while Asgardians watched from afar. They turned away, tending to their own needs and carrying out war with one another between the realms.

It was from one such war that he had come.

Odin, in his youth, had taken the power his father Bor once held and ruled Asgard. Bor, cursed by a sorcerer in Jotunheim, plagued Odin, begging him to find a sorcerer capable of reversing the spell, to lift the enchantment that had turned him to snow in the realm of the Frost Giants. In selfishness, Odin refused, ruling Asgard as he pleased but eventually agreed that he would raise the son of a fallen ruler as his own in exchange for Bor leaving Asgard to Odin.

It took no time at all for Odin to act, and he led the Asgardians into battle against the Frost Giants, wounding their King, Laufey, in combat by his own hand. Upon wounding the king of the Frost Giants and capturing the Casket of Ancient Winters, Odin discovered a small child locked away in the stronghold of the Frost Giants. Odin took the child and raised him as his own alongside his own son, Thor, out of pity and desire to appease his father.

And now, so many years later, here he was...

_Alone_.

In a dark, dank, empty cell. He was chained to the wall like an animal upon a leash and his powers had been stripped from him using powerful enchantments. The resentment he had felt previously for his father had grown exponentially in his captivity and he longed to rage against the man that had imprisoned him here like a common criminal.

He paced along the cell's wall, his bare feet pressing into the cool stone as he walked along, the chain around his ankle clinking as he moved. He turned as he reached the end of the length and then paced back, his mind racing and thinking of just how he would extract his revenge when he was freed by the hapless fool and his idiot brother.

He let out a low growl, frustrated, and then stopped, listening closely to the sound of footsteps as they echoed upon the walls and ceiling of the hallway leading to his cell. He closed his eyes, listening carefully...not one set of footsteps, but two.

_Perfect_.

He clasped his hands behind his back as a set of keys rattled in the cell door and the guards opened it to Odin and Thor. He remained still, watching them from his corner as they stepped inside.

"Loki," Odin murmured, staring at him where he stood. "Why have you chosen this, my son?"

He bristled at the affection, turning away, and began to walk the length of the cell in the hopes that he might be able to distance himself from them. The cell had been his punishment since his return from Earth; he was to rot in the dungeon - likely while he thought of his actions and misdeeds - until Odin had devised a way to punish him appropriately. He gnashed his teeth together at the thought, wondering if the old man had finally decided a course of action that would most assuredly make him pay. The thought was almost laughable.

Were it not his punishment he might have laughed over whatever was to come, but he knew that Odin would find a way to make him pay for his actions. He loathed it, loathed being put in this position... If it hadn't been for Thor he'd have succeeded. Thor and the bumbling Avengers coalition that had managed to defeat him by sheer luck and no more than that. Skill had been on his side, yet they had still succeeded and he had been left, marked for death by S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Other's master, Thanos.

"What do you require of me?" he asked sourly, keeping his back to Odin and Thor.

"Brother," Thor said lowly, "do not turn your back on us."

He turned, eyes narrowing as he stared at the two, and then sneered. "Turn my back?" he echoed, "Turn my back on you?" he hissed, coming forward, "Just as you chose to turn your backs to me when I needed you? When I required your aid?"

"Stop this, Loki," Thor said, coming forward, "You chose this path, your choices have led you to this place, do not pass blame now in search of pity."

"I do not need your pity," Loki hissed at him. "I've proven myself superior, that I can rule better than you could imagine."

"Loki, Thor," Odin boomed, interrupting them. "That is enough," he continued, "the time has come for your punishment to be dealt, Loki."

He waited, silently. He could only assume that it would involve being cast out, forced to live with the demons or perhaps with the elves or dwarves who would pester him eagerly until he'd had his fill and expressed regret for attempting to conquer Earth.

"Midgard waits for you," Odin said, coming forward, staring at Loki closely. "You will remain there until you can see what you have become and understand what has transpired as result of your transgressions."

"Midgard?" he echoed, his face twisting at the thought. Humans? Midgard? He let out a low growl, "I refuse, I shall stay here!"

"And dine upon our food and drink while under our guard?" Thor demanded. "Brother, give up this vain pride, accept this punishment and you may return to Asgard and to your family."

"Asgard is not my home," he snapped back. "I have no family."

"Midgard is your punishment, Asgard your home. You will come home when you are able to understand that these misdeeds are not to go unpunished and are unfit for both a Prince and a supposed King," Odin said quietly, holding up a hand to silence Thor.

"Father," Loki began moving towards him only to be stopped by the shackles that encircled his ankles and wrists. He looked down at them, grimacing, knowing that no amount of spell work would free him from the restraints so long as the wards around the cell were enacted, and then looked up at Odin, pleading, "Father, be reasonable."

"Loki," Odin's face seemed twisted in the dim light of the cell. "Reason is no longer a part of this. What you did, the trespasses you committed, they are not to go unpunished. You must face these consequences, Loki."

"Father, no!" he strained against the shackles. "This is absurd, unreasonable. I do not deserve this punishment, I am a King!" Loki shouted at them angrily. "I am a true King! A noble one! Not a false King - real!"

"Loki," Odin stepped closer to him, "you are no King, nor shall you ever rule Asgard if you continue on this path of evil." He placed his hands on his shoulders, his eyes searching Loki's as he whispered, "What has happened to you, my son?"

"I am not your son!" Loki spat, leering over his shoulder at Thor, who stood watching as the scene unfolded. "You welcomed him home!" he shouted at Odin, before he turned to look at Thor again, continuing on, "His transgressions are equal to my own, yet you keep him here and sit him upon a pedestal!"

Loki looked back at Odin, continuing on, "You will never bring me back once you cast me aside!" he struggled again, the chains clinking as he moved, watching as Odin's face fell.

Odin stepped away, "Loki, your brother paid for his actions just as you will. He chose to incite war just as you have and he learnt what it meant to be a true King. You will come home, my son, when you are ready."

Loki stared at him, eyes growing wide. He looked to Thor, hoping for a split second that the God of Thunder might intervene for Loki as he had attempted to before, as Loki had when Thor was in this position.

"Loki Odinson, you have disobeyed the laws of this kingdom and the command of your King. By way of your pride, and through your arrogance and thirst for power which was so motivated by envy, you have opened these Nine Realms and the exposed countless innocents to the threat of war." Odin raised Gungnir, slamming the end of the staff into the cell's floor - energy crackled through the air as a portal began to open behind Loki.

Odin came forward, his spear remaining still behind him as it sent out volts of energy, creating the growing vortex. "You are unworthy of this Realm, undeserving of your title, and unworthy of the loved ones that you have put at risk through your foolish and selfish actions."

He pulled away Loki's cape, the remainder of his armor disintegrating as Odin flung the deep green cape aside. "In the name of my father," Odin began, a bolt of lightning knocking Loki backwards, closer to the vortex, "and his father before..." another bolt of lightning sent him further away, closer to the portal. Thor turned away and Loki watched as his cloak vanished from the floor, his restraints falling away and disappearing into thin air as Odin exclaimed, "I cast you out!"

A final crack of lighting caught Loki in the chest, hurtling him backwards and into the vortex. He spun, twisting wildly as he was hurtled through the vortex, attempting to gather his bearings as he flew towards Midgard, towards Earth, and whatever Hell would await for him there.


	2. Something Wicked This Way Comes

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters mentioned from this point on related to the Marvel Universe by way of film, television, comic, or any other medium. They are licensed to their respective owners who have graciously given permission for individuals such as me to write new tales and I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to play with them and set them upon new ventures of my own imagining. I do, however, own the original characters and all that is non-canon as well as the plot (obviously). I ask that you please respect my wishes and do not duplicate my work unless given my express permission and I thank you in advance for that courtesy.

A/N: Just so you're aware, POV from this point out is going to run strictly from a first person view from Raleigh. Please R/R.

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Chapter Two: Something Wicked This Way Comes

"Raleigh," Jenny's voice was loud in my ear and I turned to face her, blinking. Jenny's face relaxed, concern washing away slowly as a smile pulled at her features. "Welcome back to Earth," she said, sitting down with me on the stairwell. "You okay?"

I nodded, brushing the crumbs from my scone off on my blue jeans and looked up at her, "Great," I told her. It wasn't true, not even in the slightest, and I wondered for a second why I lied to her if she was supposed to be my best friend. I was less than great but better than awful, which left for a wide spectrum of things to be - I'd settle for feeling _average_ and _insecure_, I decided to myself. Surely that was a good answer, they were good words to describe my nerves as of late, weren't they?

Jenny chose that moment to me pull back to reality yet again as she took my cup of tea and removed the lid, stealing a drink of it. I looked up at her, frowning slightly as she replaced the lid and extended the travel cup to me, waiting for me to take it back.

"Good," she said as I took the cup of tea back, "anyway, I was saying," she pulled her bag into her lap, "there's a party tonight. Are you going?"

I shrugged, continuing to eat my breakfast before I looked up at her, swallowing another mouthful, "I have work, remember?"

She sighed heavily and looked towards the sky, giving her head a gentle shake. "Oh, yeah, how could I forget..." she muttered, rolling her eyes, "You have to go sit in a bookstore all night long. Pure tragedy. How many people really want to buy old books after eight o'clock?" she asked me, "Because I get the impression that they're all in bed by that point."

"You'd be surprised," I remarked, though she was right. After eight at night it was rare to have anyone come into the small store that was serious about buying a book. She grumbled something under her breath that was indistinguishable and I looked at her, finishing the scone and took a sip of my tea, letting the scalding drink burn my throat as I took a few gulps of it and thought of a response to her muttering. Finally, I shrugged, "Have to have money and all that," I told her.

"You're kidding," she muttered, staring at me crossly, "your father is an engineer in New York City and your mother is a trust fund baby. I think you're okay."

I shook my head, scowling, "They don't pay for me to eat and have fun, Jenny, you know that."

"They pay for _Ben_ to do whatever he wants," she replied tartly.

"Ben's fifteen," I told her, "I'm nineteen, bit different."

"Yeah, but still, your dad would probably pay for you to goof off if you let him," she argued, "remember when we went to Paris two summers ago?"

"You bought expensive wine and made us go to an opera and you puked on an old lady's feet because you had too much to drink, I couldn't forget if I tried," I replied, giving her a dirty look as I spoke.

"And you enjoyed it," she reminded me, ignoring my complaints. "Don't forget that part. He paid for the whole thing and you know he didn't mind it. In fact, I bet he'd feel like the Father of the Year if you just let him help out a little bit and took the night off - which would not bring the world to a screeching halt, I might add. Raleigh Alexander calling out of work to have a life would not be cause for the apocalypse."

"Jenny, leave it alone," I got to my feet, shouldering my satchel, and began to walk across the courtyard. Jenny followed closely, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she hurried after. I turned to look at her and warned her, "Seriously, I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," Jenny held her hands up in surrender. "I just wish you'd lighten up."

I looked at her, eyes narrowing, then continued walking. "I'm not going," I told her, "I'm not going to skip closing the shop just so I'm there tomorrow morning when you need someone to hold your hair back because you're puking your guts up."

"Leigh, come on, that was one time!" She grabbed my arm as we headed into the building and held tight as we walked down one of the long hallways towards our morning lecture. "Brian is going to be there," she muttered in my ear.

I looked at her, genuinely curious for the first time. "Brian McNally?" I asked slowly.

"Yes, Brian McNally the rugby player that _you_ have been wanting to go out with or hook up with, whichever, either way he'll be there," she told me, smiling widely. Her bright blue eyes searched my own and she smiled impishly, her eyes glinting mischievously as she realized I was seriously considering it.

I stared at her, slowly weighing my options. "When does it start again?"

"Around nine, I think, I don't know, but it's supposed to be big. Apparently one of the football players is friends with or related to someone that has a big house over in St. John's; they're away all weekend and so he's taking care of it."

"Isn't going to a club simpler?"

"Leigh, would you be serious -"

"Jenny, I'm not an idiot," I interrupted, "it's just...I don't know, forget it. I'll go if you really want me to."

"It's not just me, it's also Brian who wants you to go," she said, nodding; she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and then began to gather the long blonde tresses into a ponytail, securing it with the elastic band that had been around her wrist. "Bet it'd be fun," she said, "he's pretty hot."

I looked up at her, sighing heavily, "I said okay, didn't I?" I asked her. "Anyway, I have to go to work at four, can you just drop my laptop off in our room?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I'll leave it there; Aunt Eva is coming in from Canterbury though so I've got to meet up with her for dinner."

"Thanks," I smiled at her then teased, "going to have fun with Auntie?"

She rolled her eyes, ignoring my taunt. "You're welcome," she told me.

Despite our being the best of friends, Jenny and I were polar opposites. We'd met towards the end of our time in secondary school when I'd gone to live with my mother in Cambridge and been enrolled in a prestigious boarding school for the remainder of my secondary education. Jenny had been a popular, well liked student and was well established by the time I'd gotten there; I was shocked when she took a liking to me, choosing me as a partner for projects in class and even more shocked to find that behind her good looks she was a brilliant student and extremely sharp.

We'd ended up getting into the same university much to our surprise and had come to London together in the fall, beginning to study at university together. She was a literature major with a goal of working for _The_ _Guardian_ while I was a law student and planned to take whatever I could possibly get with the degree. I had no idea about where I wanted to live or what I really wanted to do with myself, but Jenny had it all together. She was an extrovert, the life of the party, and loved to be the center of attention while I sat and watched, enjoying the quiet far more than clubbing until daybreak.

Whatever the case, Jenny was probably my best friend and I was relieved to have her with me, glad that she was able to pull me out of my cocoon when it was needed and happy to keep her grounded.

She stopped me beside the door to the lecture hall and pulled me around to face her, her voice lowering warningly, "I mean it though, you better be there by midnight."

I nodded, slowly pulling her hand away from my arm, "After I get off work, I'll get changed and I'll catch a cab over. I'll be there around eleven, midnight at the latest, I promise."

She smiled, "I'm holding you to that," she told me quietly as we walked into the lecture hall, taking a couple of seats towards the back of the room together.

I laughed quietly, looking over at her. "You know, it never made any sense to me that you're taking this class and a Literature major."

"Uh," Jenny looked at me as she pulled her notebook from her bag, "French and Modern Greek Studies is not just literature, I also get to learn pretty languages and, arguably, have to understand their history. I guess that's why I'm stuck here."

I laughed, opening my notebook to a fresh page, "That's a good joke," I told her.

"Russian is not a very pretty language," she reminded me, "no one ever said Russian was a romance language."

I grinned at her crookedly, then looked towards the front of the room as our professor entered, beginning to take roll. "I don't know about that, there are some very nice Russian words," I muttered to her lifting my hand as my name was called.

"Don't go using any of your fancy Russian words on me now," she mocked, raising her hand at the sound of her name being called, "I just might think you're insulting me."

I chuckled, doodling on the front of my notebook before I glanced at her, leaning in slightly. "Hey now," I murmured, "if I wanted to do that, I'd just do it outright. No sense in not just telling you that you're a bitch."

Jenny bowed her head, grinning. "I will put a laxative in your drink," she whispered to me, "don't try me."

I hid my mouth behind my hand, shoulders shaking as I attempted to hide my giggles, "You're a regular Benedict Arnold," I told her, "note the dick."

Jenny snorted, pulling her notebook closer as she bit her lower lip, "You are not funny," she whispered to me a little too loudly. "Never ever go into comedy."

"Shut up," I hissed at her, keeping my eyes on our professor "Ames'll have a heart -"

"Is there something amusing you, Miss Alexander?" Damn it. Ames had already caught us. I looked up as our Professor came around her desk, eyes focusing on us. When I was silent she looked to Jenny instead, "Miss Pirrip?"

"No, Professor," I shook my head, "sorry."

"No, ma'am," Jenny piped up, shaking her head as well.

"That's what I thought, do remember, ladies, you are in university now, not primary school and I demand absolute silence upon roll being taken." She turned away as a few of our classmates chuckled under their breath. Jenny grinned sheepishly as Ames continued, "Now that the children are listening, if you would turn to page two hundred and thirty-four in your books..."

I opened my textbook, glancing at Jenny out of the corner of my eye as she did the same, giving me a devilish grin before she began to scribble notes in her book as Ames carried on with her lecture.

Edna Ames was a fifty something year old woman who, from what I could tell, had long ago decided that making the lives of university students a living Hell would be her main goal in life and, from what I could see, she had succeeded. She taught courses relating to the modern French political system and I was unceasingly amazed by the fact that she could easily reduce a young man that was three times her size to the verge of tears with the way she spoke. She was systematic in her cutting down of students and had a zero tolerance policy for speaking during and after attendance, especially during lecture when she was known to unceremoniously throw students out of the room with almost no provocation.

She had an unbelievably striking ability to speak with a condescending, belittling tone that made anyone in the immediate vicinity feel as though they were being put on trial for their misdeeds even if they'd done nothing to wrong her. It wasn't like I could blame her for acting as she did, if she didn't she'd probably be respected for her knowledge but walked upon. I'd caught her a few times outside of school and she'd been...pleasant, if one could ever say that Edna was pleasant. She'd smiled and complained about the weather, but then been on her way shortly after and the next day she'd been back to her usual self - cutting people down for what she deemed as outrageous and pointless arguments in their papers and class discussions.

If she'd gone into politics herself, I could only imagine how fearsome she would have been for she was a skilled debater with a sharp wit. She regularly took on the class in debate, cutting down even the most brilliant of arguments without batting an eye. Yet nothing about her was physically intimidating: she stood at perhaps five feet exactly and wore suit ensembles to her classes every day. Her tawny, salt and pepper flaked hair hung neatly around her face in a bob cut and she wore large, thick rimmed, square glasses that made her seem comical at first glance for they appeared to enlarge her eyes. However, she soon surprised everyone she met, for she had a very cold, authoritative tone and an extremely intimidating presence.

I knew little else about her besides that she had a son who was obtaining a doctorate at Cambridge and a tabby cat that she loved a great deal - she'd framed photos of both and rested them upon her desk. It never failed that she would, on some days when she was particularly irate with us for not doing as well as she'd hoped, tell us of our failures while bleating praises of the soon-to-be Doctor Armando Ames, who would be able to run circles around our tiny brains with a blindfold on while drunk.

Despite it all though, I liked Edna, I thought she had a good deal of character to her and that beyond the classroom she might be a decent woman to get along with. Jenny, on the other hand, despised her and regularly lamented to me about not doing as well as she'd hoped to in the class.

I shook myself out of my trance, tuning back into her lecture as she began scolding one of the rugby players in the front of the room for not paying enough attention and falling asleep, thus missing a question that she'd asked (though it had probably been rhetorical).

I looked down at my paper, hiding my smile behind my hand and then looked back up at the board, copying down the few major points I'd missed during her lecture while I had the opportunity. God knew that if Armando Ames was the second coming of Jesus Christ, that Edna Ames was Satan incarnate when provoked and that no one was exempt from her wrath. But, I decided as I watched her gather the rugby player's things, heading for the door to pitch them out of the hall herself, if there was one thing I knew Jenny couldn't deny about her, it was that Edna Ames always made Mondays interesting.

"I don't get it," Jenny complained to me as we walked from the lecture hall several hours later, having met up again after our other classes, "why does she always have to do this?"

I looked at her, shrugging. Edna had assigned a ten page paper that was due by Thursday on the French political system in the eighteenth century, which was to analyze the factors leading to the Revolution.

Jenny groaned, tilting her head back. "I can't," she complained, loudly. "I have so many other things I have to do," she stomped her feet as we turned the corner melodramatically. "Will you write mine?"

"One, I never write your papers, even when you ask me to," I said, looking over at her, "Two, you'll end up writing it yourself because you're so uptight about it, and three, don't you think she's smart enough to tell?"

Jenny sighed, not bothering to answer my question.

"Oh," she looked over at me, "have you read any Bradbury?" she asked me.

I shrugged, "A bit, I had to do a report on _Fahrenheit__-451 _back home a few years ago. Ben is into him right now though, why?"

She shrugged, "I had to read a couple of his poems for one of my classes, I just can't help but think of her whenever I read _Something __Wicked __This __Way __Comes_."

I looked at her, arching a curious eyebrow.

"You've never heard it?" she asked me, and when I shook my head, she grinned, beginning to recite part of it, "Flowers bloom as black as night, removing color from your sigh, nightmarish vines block your way, thorns reach out to catch their prey. And by the pricking of your thumbs, realize that their poison numbs, from frightful blooms, rank odors seep, bats and beasties fly and creep."

I looked at her and shook my head, "That does not remind me of her even remotely," I said, "I don't know where you get that idea from."

"Well, it's like how James said that every time she walks in he mentally plays the Empire theme in his head," she told me, referring to a young man that had been trying to ask her on a date for the last month, "she's just evil."

"She is not evil," I said, frowning and growing tired of her nonsensical accusations, "Everyone fails that class a time or two, give it a rest, Jenny."

"That's easy for you to say with your scores," she replied, a slightly bitter tone to her voice. "She _likes_ you. She hates me."

"She doesn't like me," I muttered to her, "I just study and I'm good at this kind of stuff. I always have been."

Jenny shrugged, falling silent although it was clear that she didn't agree with the statement. We walked across the quad in silence, not bothering to stop to see any of the people who called out to Jenny and I as we passed. We headed for our dorm room, braving the wet, cold, London weather as we strode across the campus. I kept my hood up, hands tucked into my pockets as we continued along.

That was another thing I'd come to learn about the differences between Jenny and I. She was always well dressed and looked smart. She usually donned dresses and skirts with cardigans and jumpers layered on top. I often teased her by saying she looked like a Barbie doll with her long blonde hair and proclivity for dressing neatly and with a feminine flair, which only seemed to annoy her.

I was her opposite in every way, wearing blue jeans and sneakers, usually layering on a hoodie and jacket over T-shirts or jumpers. I had dark auburn hair that contrasted her bright blonde and golden brown eyes to mirror her bright blue.

I didn't mind the difference. It made me laugh though, especially when Jenny attempted to defend me to her older friends who were more than happy to look down their noses at me. It was something I'd quickly learned: even if I came from a wealthy family, I wasn't to be popular on my own or even accepted. I was popular because of my being friends with Jenny and I knew that if it weren't for her I'd probably be miserable and have few friends at university. I could accept it, grudgingly, but there was something about knowing I had that revolting a personality that made me feel horribly inadequate and self-conscious.

I looked over at her as we walked up the front steps of our dorm building and went inside.

"If you need help," I told her, "I don't mind giving you a hand."

Jenny looked at me as we climbed the stairs towards our door room and nodded, "Thanks," she told me, her voice clipped. "I ought to be fine though."

I nodded, slowly trailing after her down the hall and into our dorm room. I set my satchel down on my bed, pulling my laptop from within the main compartment and then rested it upon the my desk. I looked over at Jenny who had flopped down in bed, covering half of her face with one arm as she pouted.

The room wasn't much to brag about. It was a standard double with two beds, two desks, and a couple wardrobes. Most of the hall was full of single rooms and it was at times like this that I wished I had one of them to breathe freely. Jenny, no matter how much I liked her, could be a pain in the ass when she got into a mood like this.

I walked over to my wardrobe, pulling out a clean shirt and stripped off my top, pulling the clean T-shirt over my head. I pulled a hooded jacket from the closet, pulling it on, and then layered my coat over it, pulling a scarf from one of the hangers before I shut the wardrobe's doors. I turned, heading back to the bed and slung my satchel over my shoulder.

"I'll see you later?" I asked slowly.

"Awesome," she raised her hand, giving me a thumbs up, then dropped it back to her side, keeping her other arm draped over her face. "I'll be here, dying because of Ames being a bitch, no big deal."

I flung my pillow at her head, "Have Auntie buy you a piece of pie, it'll make everything better," I told her.

"That's actually not a bad idea..." she murmured. She peeked at me as I made for the door. "Midnight, Leigh, I better see you by midnight. Or else I will come and find you and drag you out by your hair."

I nodded, smiling at her, "See you later, Jenny," I nodded at her again, opening the door and then headed out into the hall, pulling it shut behind me as I began to head to work.

* * *

I yawned, reaching up and pushed a stack of books upright, placing a heavy volume at the end of the row and then rested my forehead upon one of the ladder's rungs, sighing. It was nearly closing time and I was exhausted. The day had gone slowly and as nine thirty approached I only found myself growing wearier.

I looked around the shop, slowly beginning to descend the ladder towards the shop floor. I twisted, stretching my back until there was a satisfying crack, then turned, making my way to the counter where I picked up another one of the books that had been misplaced or left out in the shop, making my way towards the shelf that would house it.

Ironically, it was a Ray Bradbury book, which made me chuckle to myself as I thought of Jenny and the poem she'd recited to me earlier in the day. I stood on tip toe, sliding it into place, and then relaxed, staring up at the large shelves as they towered above me and smiled to myself. I loved the small, antique bookshop. It housed numerous antique, vintage, used, and out of print books and the smell was to die for.

The smell of old books, of worn paper and ink, had always been one I'd enjoyed and I'd been more than happy to take over the job of managing the store for McGregor, a small old man who lived across London with his wife. I slowly traced my fingers along the spines of the books that were in front of me, enjoying the feel of their hardbacks beneath my fingers when I heard the tinkle of the door chime.

I deflated instantly, wishing that whoever it was would leave. I didn't need a customer now, I didn't want one now. It was so close to closing time and the last thing I needed was to have some pain in the ass customer messing with the books all over again.

However, I slowly emerged from behind the shelf, walking towards the front of the shop. I stopped at the first shelf, staring at the raven haired man who had collapsed in one of the armchairs. He looked exhausted, his face was pale, gaunt, and his hair was overgrown, falling to his shoulders. He had to be freezing, I decided, staring at what he wore - or rather what he lacked. He had on a pair of trousers and a tunic which opened at the throat with leather stitching that hung loose and untied, yet he had no coat and no shoes. His bare feet and hands looked as though they were blue from the cold and I found myself wondering just what to do.

I'd never had to deal with a homeless person trying to sleep in one of the chairs. If I were to entertain it seriously, I couldn't think of a single time I'd had to deal with any of them at this hour of the night. McGregor had always told me to let them be and I had, because they would soon shuffle out after getting warm and then be on their merry way, but this man looked as though he had no intention of leaving the chair.

"Can I help you?" I piped up curiously.

He slowly opened his eyes, staring at me, and then looked around the shop, "No," he shook his head and waved his hand as if shooing me, closing his eyes once more. "I do not require assistance."

"You, uh, sure? You need anything?"

He sighed, opening his eyes to stare at me, his gaze piercing, cold, "If you are, perchance, in possession of a book that I require then yes, however I doubt you have such a thing in your pitiful shop."

I leaned against the shelf, folding my arms across my chest, "Pitiful is a bit strong for someone who can't even afford shoes."

He smirked at me, "The cold does not bother me," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I bet," I muttered, pulling one of the books from the pile on the counter, I opened it, unmarking some of the pages that had been dog eared by customers. "What kind of book do you need?" I asked him. "We have all sorts really - Shakespeare, Bradbury, Orwell, even Martha Stewart if that's your kind of thing."

He stared at me, sneering, "Midgardian," he said, his voice tart, and I snapped the book shut, staring at him, wondering where this was about to go, "I did not come here to be sassed by a creature as lowly as you, I came to obtain a book that might offer me reprieve from a fate that has been thrust upon me unfairly."

"Oh," I nodded. "I can't imagine that this unfair fate of yours is living on the streets of London like a vagrant, huh?"

He was silent, his eyes locked on mine.

"Couldn't possibly be your own fault, huh?" I asked, "I mean, it's not like our choices don't determine our fate or anything," I said, shrugging. I turned, heading to the shelf that housed the old romance novels.

"Do you believe that?" he asked me and I turned, surprised to find that he stood behind me, towering over me. He had to be close to a foot taller than I was even without shoes, which left me feeling dwarfed in his presence.

I stared up at him, slowly looking him over and then I nodded, "Yeah, I do believe that," I said. "Our choices reflect who we truly are," I told him, "you don't agree?"

He smirked, "Why would I agree with a concept that is tired and entirely incorrect?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Maybe because the rest of the world would agree with me?" I suggested, pushing him aside. I headed back to counter, aware of him following me, and then turned on him, "Or is every other Midgardner wrong, too?"

"_Midgardian_," he corrected me, scowling.

"I don't care," I told him, grabbing the stack of books. "What do you need?" I asked as I walked towards the back of the store, placing the books in their proper places as I went. "We're closing in fifteen minutes."

"I require a book of Old Norse origin that contains spells and directions for inter-dimensional travel," he told me.

I turned around, eyeing him, and then laughed, "You can't possibly be serious."

He stared at me, his face remaining stony, "Do you have such a book in your possession?" he demanded.

"No," I said slowly, "I think that you might want to call CERN up and ask them. I hear they're doing a bang up job on particle physics lately. Maybe you can give them a hand with all of your otherworldly knowledge or they can give you one, yeah?"

"I require assistance, not mockery," he hissed at me. "I am in need of this book in order to return to Asgard as the rightful King."

"Maybe you should hop into your time machine and get on over to Comic Con," I suggested, shelving the last of the books. "Bet that they'll have loads of stuff on multiverses and Asgard."

"Where are your books on such things?" he demanded, pulling me around; I pulled my arm back, glaring at him.

"We don't carry those kind of books," I said flatly, adding, "and don't touch me again." I shoved my way past him, deciding it would be best to be within reach of the phone in case I needed it to call the police.

"Then how do you know of these things?" he asked me.

"Because I know how to read," I replied coldly.

"Midgardian," he began, "I need the source of your knowledge on this matter, it is imperative."

"God," I shook my head and looked at him, exasperated. I didn't care if he was homeless, he was crazy. Asgard? Midgardian? Multiverses? Trans-dimensional travel? He spoke as if it were possible, the way a mad man might, and I had to wonder if he posed a serious threat to me.

"Yes," he nodded, smiling at me for the first time. He revealed a set of bright white teeth as he smiled, "I am a God, I am a King, and much more. You are right to address me as such and you will do well to remember such a thing."

I laughed, sitting upon the stool behind the counter, "I think you need go," I said, pointing towards the door, "because all I see is a homeless crazy man who is talking about fairytales."

He glowered, "You dare address a God of my stature with such a tone?"

"I'm quite sure that if God is real he wouldn't be dressed like the bum at the Renaissance Fair," I said coolly.

"I am Loki Laufeyson," he snarled at me. "You will assist me in my quest to return to Asgard!"

"How lovely for you to be Loki Laufeyson," I cooed before I grew serious once again, "I'm this close -" I held up my fingers, leaving a small gap between my thumb and index finger, "- to calling the cops on you, Loki Laufeyson, and I refuse to assist you in your little grail quest."

"Then you will die a slow and painful death by my hand," he growled. "No mortal refuses me as a God or King."

I stared at him, laughing nervously, and then, against my better judgment, decided to up the ante. "If you really are from Asgard, why won't they just take you back in your spaceship and drop you off in your palace like the good King you are?" I asked him, keeping my eyes locked on his own. "Do they not want you?" I demanded. "Are you not worthy of them?"

He struck out, hitting the shelf that he stood beside and I jumped, spooked, watching as a few books fell from their place and he stepped towards me, his voice dropping low, "You will assist me or I will break your skull with my bare hands, kill you slowly, and savor every moment."

I held up the phone, holding my ground as I stood, knowing it was hardly an intimidating move. "I'm going to count to ten," I said, "if you're not out of here by the time I reach ten, then I'm going to call the cops and you can be hauled off to the psych ward where you belong."

He stared at me, looming over me.

"One."

He didn't move.

"Two."

Still nothing.

"Three."

Oh shit.

"Four."

Please go, I silently begged him.

"Five."

Shit.

"Six."

Just shit.

"Seven."

He stepped forward and I raised the phone from where I held it, almost threateningly if it were possible. How intimidating was an ancient phone that wasn't even portable? I wondered.

"Eight."

He was walking past me, towards the front door, and pushing it open. I could feel the cold night air as it blew into the shop and the door slammed shut behind him, the glass rattling in it's frame. I let out a soft cry, dropping the phone back into its receiver and crumpled to the floor, breathing heavily, my heart pounding in my chest as I covered my mouth, terrified.

I rocked myself back and forth, staring at where he had just stood and threatened me, wondering and genuinely scared for myself. I rattled in a breath, closing my eyes, and then got up beginning to gather my things and threw them into my satchel unceremoniously. I closed my eyes, not wanting to think of it anymore.

When I opened them, I looked towards the floor, slowly, walking to the place he had stood moments ago and began to pick up the books that he had knocked to the ground. I sighed wearily, picking up the various volumes until I came to a particularly old book that I hadn't even known to be in the shop.

_Myths __& __Lore __of __the __Old __Norse_

I let out a soft laugh, looking around the shop curiously and then replaced one of the cook books he had knocked down. I made my way back to the counter, opening the book up and flicked through the pages towards the index, which I scanned curiously for his name - _there__it__was_. Deciding that I would be sitting to read for a while and that I had no desire to be disturbed, I got up again, walking to the front door and latched it, then pulled the shades down and over the windows, and turned the sign on the door to 'closed' before I returned to my seat, beginning to read about one Loki Laufeyson.


	3. The Bargain

**Disclaimer:** Nothing here belongs to me, it is all licensed to Marvel and the respective creators of each individual character. Save for the obvious things, which I think you ought to recognize.

* * *

Chapter Three: The Bargain

I pulled my coat closer, folding my arms tightly around my chest as I braved the cold night. I headed down the nearly empty street with my bag draped across my body and turned the corner, making my way back to my dormitory and most importantly warmth. Jenny had already sent me several texts lecturing me about showing up on time as promised. At the rate the night was going, I'd have no time to take a nap or to even lie in bed for a few moments, instead, I'd be forced to get changed and then head to the party.

I brushed past a group of club hoppers, blowing hot air into my chilled hands as I went. The book on Norse mythology had been tucked safely into my bag, the satchel now much heavier than before as it hung from my shoulders.

"Hey, baby," a voice called down the street as I made another turn, "where you going?" I ignored it, walking slightly faster instead. I hated closing for this very reason: danger.

The man called again, "I said where you going?"

He was following me and I could hear drunken titters, probably his friends who were just as drunk as him.

I began to move a little bit faster, eyes darting across the rather empty cityscape before me desperately. There had to be someone nearby. I rounded the corner just as the man called out again, clearly growing angry now, and ran straight into the arms of another man.

"Oh, darling, there you are, I was beginning to wonder."

_Loki_.

My heart thudded to a standstill and I could feel my stomach drop...this really wasn't my night. I had no idea what I'd done to deserve this string of luck, but I wanted to take it back.

He pressed his lips to my forehead as the group of drunken men appeared and I played along for some stupid reason even though he could have been just as dangerous to me as the others. Oh who was I kidding? I rolled my eyes at the idea - he _was _as dangerous to me as the others were yet I smiled up at him like an idiot.

Loki nodded at the drunks, "Evening, gentlemen."

"Awfully pretty girl you've got yourself there," the first one said.

My heart pounded in my chest and I kept my eyes trained on the shirt that Loki wore, praying they would just leave and that I could be on my way.

"Yes, now if you'd excuse us, we have a late supper to be getting to. Have a good evening then, gentlemen."

He wrapped an arm around my waist, beginning to pull me away from the drunks and I found myself thinking that he was _too_ good at this. What if he'd orchestrated this? Was that in reason? Was that teetering on paranoid? Whatever the case, I kept my eyes locked on the sidewalk, praying my bad luck might end soon enough.

"Why don't we see who she'd prefer?" The first man had followed and Loki, who had come to a halt beside me, turned just enough to see him over his shoulder.

"I don't recommend that we do," he said in a very calm, steady voice. "Have a nice evening."

He pulled me away again when the man grabbed my arm, wrenching me backwards. I yelped as I was tugged away from Loki and he whirled around, seizing the drunk's throat.

He slammed the man into a wall, lifting him off the ground and holding him there with his outstretched arm, hand tightening around his windpipe, fingers digging into his throat. I watched, paralyzed in fear and shocked by the feat, as the drunk wheezed, clawing at the hand desperately and making noises like a wounded animal. The other men had stopped in their tracks, clearly too shocked to continue to move forward.

"Give me one reason not to crush your throat," he growled in the drunken man's ear as the other's eyes rolled backwards. I grabbed his arm, pulling at it with all of my strength.

"Loki, please don't hurt him," I begged, reaching for his hand, "You're killing him!"

"Get behind me," he snapped at me, eyes still locked on the drunken man's as his lips began turning blue.

I pushed at Loki, desperate, "_Please__!_" Why did it matter? He was protecting me. "Stop it!" Because it was murder. That was why. I pushed him again, then grabbed at his wrist, pulling with all of my might.

Loki looked down at me for a moment, eyes lingering on my face as I stared up at him, keeping my eyes locked on his own, begging silently... He released the man's throat, dropping him to the ground where he crumpled, gasping for air as he rubbed his throat, remaining on all fours.

"Mercy is for the weak," Loki spat at me.

"And murder for pleasure is wrong," I said lowly. I was being stupid, the man could've been planning to rape me and there was no denying that if he'd really intended to that I'd have wanted to see him die at anyone's hand, Loki's included. Still, there was no proof, no proof that he'd have done that to me. He could've been a stupid, over friendly, jealous drunk for all I knew. It was a stretch, I knew it was a stretch, but it was a possibility wasn't it?

Loki, however, seemed to have taken the more realistic view of the man's motives for turned to look down at the drunk and, in a rather unceremonious fashion, kicked him in the stomach.

"I wouldn't have killed him for pleasure alone," he remarked. "I ought to have killed him for considering bringing harm to you."

I grabbed his arm, hoping to forgo an "On Asgard..." speech. The last thing I needed was for it to be entirely obvious that he was off his rocker to the drunk men. "Let's go," I looked up at him, meeting his eyes. They were green, I realized for the first time, a very clear, bright green that pierced me when he turned to stare down his nose at me. "Loki," I whispered, "_please_."

Loki nodded slowly, gesturing for me to go ahead and I obeyed, knowing that he would follow closely.

"Hey, asshole!"

One of the other drunks had come to his senses.

_Fantastic_.

Loki rounded just as the trio made it to us, dodging a blow and striking the man in the stomach. There was a strange noise I couldn't place, and I was forced to think that it was the man's ribs for he doubled over, moaning, and slowly crumpled to the ground as he gasped for air and clutched at his stomach.

I remained rooted to the spot, too afraid to move, and watched as Loki easily seized the next man's wrist, twisting his arm effortlessly until it made a popping noise - the man let out a howl of pain and swung at him only to have his other wrist shattered easily as it was snapped backwards. He dropped to his knees, howling in pain.

The last man, easily twice Loki's size and width, charged Loki and grabbed him around the waist, slamming him into the wall and then to the ground where he continued to pummel Loki savagely.

I found my voice finally, shouting, "No, stop!" and I moved forward, hoping that I might be able to pull him away from Loki even if I meant I'd be hurt. He was a nutcase, I would readily admit it, but I'd be damned if he was about to die because he'd decided to be gallant on my account.

The very first man, who Loki had choked seized me around the waist before I even reached the fight and lifted me over his shoulder. I shrieked and thrashed, beating the man's back desperately.

"Let go!" I screamed at him, "Help!" I called out, hoping a passerby might hear the frantic cries. "_Help__!_"

The man carried me down an alleyway, throwing me to the ground where he pinned me. His breath reeked of whiskey; his hands were heavy, rough on my arms as he loomed over me while I fought desperately. He seized my wrists in one hand, holding them to the ground.

"I'll show your boyfriend out there, he can watch."

He reached for his belt and I fought harder, desperate. I bucked beneath him, shouting in vain, hating myself for even considering that his intentions had been anything but malicious. I should've let Loki kill him, I decided.

I kicked at him, shrieking, and twisted in his grasp, screaming at the top of my lungs the only thing which made sense: "Loki!" I bellowed.

No response, just the sound of the fight somewhere behind us as Loki was thrown around. In a last ditch effort, I lifted my head and bashed my forehead into the man's face, feeling a distinct crunch as my head connected with his nose.

He yelped, pulling back for just a few moments before he was snarling, "Bitch!" He brought his hand down across my face. I slowly opened my eyes, staring up at his face - I could see blood leaking from his nose and I felt dizzy from the impact, my cheek stinging angrily from his blow.

"Loki!" I screamed again and twisted, wishing he could help. "Help me!"

The man laughed in my ear, "He seems a bit busy..." he pulled his belt open and reached for his button, and I turned away, not willing to look at him, not wanting to. "I'm not though," he growled in my ear, "so I'll make sure to drag this out..."

There was a pressure on my hips as he began to pull at my jeans and I could hear the sound of bone cracking in the distance - my stomach dropped as I thought of Loki being broken by the man - then came the crumple of a body, groaning. Before I could even register what was happening, the man was being ripped off of me, lifted high up into the air and _snap_, he crumpled to the ground, seemingly lifeless.

Loki stood above me, dusting off his hands on his trousers with smirk plastered across his face as he stared at the man.

"I told you," he said, wiping at a cut above his brow, "mercy is for the weak."

* * *

I straightened, my chest heaving as I finished vomiting and I looked up at Loki, staring at him. He'd stood by, watching as I puked up the few bites I'd managed to have of cheese and crackers for dinner at the shop, and now he watched as I stood, staring at him. He looked almost curious, if not a little amused as I gaped at him, still shocked.

I shook my head at him, "You - you killed him."

"No," he shook his head, nudging the man with his bare foot, "I don't suppose that I did. I ought to remedy that," he looked around at the other limp bodies, having knocked the others unconscious while I'd vomited, "and I suppose it would be best to do the same with the others..."

"No," I raced forward, grabbing his arm and pulled him around, "You can't."

"Surely I can," he said, jerking his arm away from my grasp, "Do not attempt to stop me."

I hurried in front of him, blocking his way, "Don't kill them, just leave them, please," I begged him. He considered me silently while I waited, nervous, hoping that he might listen to me.

"And in return what do you have to offer me for their lives?" he asked, his eyes roving over me.

I stared at him, "You want to - to _bargain_ for their lives?" I whispered, horrified at the idea.

"What were you expecting?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at me. "That I might agree without benefit? That I might embrace your Midgardian sense of goodness?"

I swallowed nervously, looking around at the unconscious men and then looked back at Loki, "Look," I said, my voice shaking, "I-I don't know much about you but if you're telling the truth and you're really him, really Loki and from Asgard and all of that, then I'll help you get that book that you need, okay? Just promise me that you won't kill them or hurt them anymore."

"Why do you feel the need to bargain their lives with your own?" he asked me, his brow furrowing.

I shrugged, "Because..." I said numbly, "I-I don't think you'll hurt me."

"And what makes you think that I won't bring you harm?" he asked, clearly amused by the thought.

I wracked my brain for a decent explanation - one better than 'I have a feeling' which was all I had if I were to be honest with myself. I shook my head finally, "I don't know. I don't have a reason - a good one anyway. I'm just going to trust you because I think that you'll agree to this and that it's a good deal. I'll help you if you spare them. It works out for everyone. I'm not raped, they're alive, and you'll get this book that you say you need."

He stared at me, looking me over suspiciously, and finally he said, "You shall do all that I ask of you without questioning me, is that understood?"

I nodded quickly, feeling my body relax as I realized he was agreeing, that there wasn't any risk or threat posed, "Yeah, fine, whatever, it's a deal if you just promise me that you won't hurt them anymore and you won't kill any of them."

He smiled, satisfied, "Then in Midgardian tongue, I believe that you have yourself a deal," he murmured, passing me. "Come then, mortal."

"Raleigh," I said, as I turned, hurrying after him. I fell into step beside him as he looked down at me, his brow knit together.

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Raleigh," I told him, stopping. "I'd appreciate if you could use my name instead of Midgardian and mortal constantly. It's a little more personable."

He snickered, turning away from me and began to walk again. I scowled, racing after him.

"You need to get clothes, you know," I told him, looking up at him. "You can't just walk around in that," I pointed to his trousers and tunic.

"No?" he arched an eyebrow, "Silly me, how I've managed to come this far I haven't the slightest."

I scowled at him, cutting him off, "Shut up," I said, voice flat. He stopped, staring at me, clearly shocked. "Better," I nodded, "anyway, there are a couple of places that are open until eleven and we have enough time and you need shoes at the very least and a coat."

He rolled his eyes, exasperated. "If I acquiesce, will you shut up?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I can do that."

"Fantastic," he gestured for me to lead him and headed towards the corner. I made my way along the dark streets with Loki trailing after me. I led him along the streets until we finally came to a halt outside of the first store that I saw. It wasn't impressive, but I wasn't about to complain. It was open and it had men's clothing.

I looked over my at him, "Can you deal with this?" I asked him.

He wrinkled his nose, "If it is entirely necessary," he conceded.

"Well, I say that it is entirely necessary so you can deal with it," I replied. I led him inside and then looked up at him as he glanced around the store curiously. "Never seen anything like this?"

He ignored me, slowly making his way over to the racks of clothes, beginning to look at them curiously. He slowly pushed through the rack of shirts and jackets, wrinkling his nose at various things while I watched, keeping my eyes peeled for the girl who was behind the counter. Dealing with her would be the last thing I wanted tonight, I'd already had to deal with Loki, with watching a fight take place, with nearly being _raped_ - my stomach lurched at the idea - and would soon enough be dealing with Jenny ranting at me over not being at the stupid party.

Loki abruptly pulled a long sleeved shirt from one of the racks and then held it out to me expectantly.

"You could say please," I told him.

He looked at me, "Or I could go back and snap their necks right now."

I scowled, snatching the sweater away, "Go on then," I told him, gesturing to the rest of the shop. "Dress yourself."

He smirked, but turned away, "I should assume you are capable of paying for such things?" he asked me as we walked towards a table of plain shirts. He picked up one of the shirts before he tossed it back down, uninterested, and he took his sweet time in picking out a pack of undershirts before he finally held them out to me expectantly. I set my jaw, finally taking them from him and followed him around towards the blue jeans.

"How do you figure out these sizes?" he asked me, clearly baffled by the numbers.

"Well, you could ask the nice girl to measure you _or_ you can try things on."

"I would much prefer not to be touched by a mortal," he said, wrinkling his nose at the thought. He pulled out three different sizes of a dark washed jeans, then passed them to me. I trailed after him, watching as he looked down at his feet and then at a pair of shoes. To my own surprise, and amusement, he picked up one of the shoes, comparing it to his forearm as a size guide.

"How do you have the money to pay for this sort of clothing when you work in a shop such as that?" he asked curiously as he sat down to try on the shoes.

"Do we really have to have this conversation?" I asked, easing myself down onto one of the seats beside him.

"I am merely curious, Raleigh," he replied, "I think it interesting."

"My parents have a lot of money," I said shortly. "I'm given a credit card for times like this."

"Ah," Loki nodded, frowning slightly at the shoes, "so you have a _credit __card_ in order to pay for the things that a strange man who claims to be a Norse deity needs?"

I pursed my lips, catching the mocking tone in his voice. "Do you really think you're funny?" I asked him.

"Hardly," he replied, kicking the shoes off. He replaced them and then picked out a different pair, sitting to try them on next, "But I do think your idea of my being a fake amusing if I'm to tell the truth."

"I believe you," I muttered.

"Is that so?" Loki asked, clearly more satisfied with the second pair of shoes than the first.

"No, but it sounds good," I replied, easing myself back in the seat. "Did you believe it?"

"No," he told me. He gestured to the shoes, "These will do."

"Great," I took them from him and then glanced over at the girl, knowing she was probably waiting for us to pay, "Wear it out - I'll pay and you can go back there and put it on and leave with it all on."

He nodded, waving at me the same way he had before - shooing me - and I scowled, getting to my feet and headed over to the counter to pay for his things.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out as I passed my card to the girl. _Jenny_. I declined the call, watching instead as Loki approached, taking the clothes, and made his way to the dressing rooms to change.

"He'll be okay if those don't fit?" I asked her, referring to the jeans I'd paid for.

"Yeah," she nodded, "it was a good guess for sizing but if you need the other ones I'll take the tags off of it and he can have that pair instead," she replied with a shrug. She looked incredibly bored and I was a little surprised by her lax attitude towards Loki; I'd expected her to throw the two of us out since he had no shoes.

I leaned against the counter and replaced my credit card in my wallet as my phone vibrated again. I took the receipt from her, standing straight, and made my way over to the chairs outside of the dressing room where I sat, waiting on Loki in silence. I pulled my phone from my pocket in the meantime, unlocking it to read whatever message Jenny had sent me.

Where r u? U need to b here. Now.

I grimaced, beginning to type a reply to her.

I'll be there soon. Got caught up with something.

I wasn't an idiot, she wouldn't believe it. She'd probably think I was bailing out on her, which was what I was seriously considering at that very moment. The night I had was plenty of excuse for not being involved in whatever went on at that party; Brian would always be there on another day, wouldn't he?

I looked up as Loki emerged from the dressing room, clearly unenthused with the clothes, and I was struck in that moment by just how handsome he was. Yes, he was a psycho. No, I didn't believe a word he said to me. But goddamn, he really was good looking. I smiled slightly as I sat studying him closely, taking him in silently.

He was definitely tall, probably around six foot something, six four at most I decided to myself quietly, but he had a svelte, lean figure with an almost starved look about him. At first glance or even in passing I'd probably have never picked up on the sheer amount of muscle that he had if I hadn't seen him in action and part of me wondered if it were possible for a man as slim as he was to pack that much power behind a blow. He looked good in the things he'd picked out at least, I decided to myself, looking over the shirts and jeans, noting that it all seemed to fit well.

_At __least __he __doesn__'__t __look __like __a __complete __tool__._

His hair seemed like the one thing that was entirely out of place. It was long, nearly down to his shoulders and tousled, like it hadn't been brushed or tended to in days. It was swept back from his face though, allowing me to see the striking bone structure of his face. He had high, sharp cheekbones with a strong jaw and his eyes were a light greenish color that twinkled in the fluorescent light. They seemed so stark in contrast to the rest of him where there was so little color: pasty skin, black hair, dark jeans, black sweater, dark shoes, and brilliant greenish eyes...it was genuinely amusing, I decided.

I was shaken from my thoughts as my phone buzzed again and I watched as he slung the extra sets of jeans up on the return rack. I cleared my throat gently, "Does it all fit okay?" I asked him, ignoring Jenny's text.

He scowled, clearly uncomfortable, but said nothing and I sighed heavily, "If it doesn't fit all right, tell me," I said, "I can return whatever you don't like and get something else."

"It will be fine," he waved me off, "mortal clothing is simply very different and not for the better."

I got up, pulling my phone from my pocket as we left the shop and began to head down the street together. I let out a soft sigh, growing more and more aggravated with Jenny by the moment as another text came in.

Y r u late?

U need 2 come now.

Brian is here.

Loki looked over at me curiously, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the phone.

"At the risk of sounding alien -" there was that stupid humor again, "- what are you doing?"

"Avoiding something I promised I'd do," I admitted, looking up at him. When he continued to give me a pointed, curious look, his eyes traveling downwards to my phone I sighed heavily, explaining, "I'm texting. You send a message of text from one phone to another by using a cell phone and bouncing signal off of various towers that are hooked up to satellites. Happy?" He chuckled and I carried on, satisfied, "Are you going to be on your merry way then?"

"What are you going to do now?" he asked me, stopping on the sidewalk to face me.

I looked up at him as I came to a halt and shrugged, sliding my phone back into my pocket as I decided to ignore Jenny's texts. "I have a party," I admitted to him. "I promised I'd go."

"Yet you have no desire to," he arched an eyebrow at me.

"Lucky guess, what gave it away?" I asked dryly.

"Sarcasm is not you forte, Raleigh," he murmured. "Do you require someone to accompany you to this party of yours?"

"It's not _my_ anything, I just agreed to go out of stupidity."

"Do you not wish to attend?"

My eyes narrowed, "Why do you even care?" I demanded. "Don't you have tall buildings to leap somewhere or other damsels to protect?"

He pursed his lips at me, "You're evidently incapable of getting from one place to another so why shouldn't I care about your safety?"

"Because you're psychotic, maybe?" I suggested, declining another one of Jenny's calls.

"Psychotic," he chuckled, tucking his hands into his pockets, "I don't suppose you feel the slightest twinge of gratitude towards me, psychotic or not then?"

I scowled, "Are you serious?" I hissed. "Of course I'm grateful, do you need a pat on the back for every good thing you do? Do you want a cookie?" I snapped.

He pulled my phone away from me, "Tell me how to shut it off or I will break it," he said tartly. I pointed to the button on the top of the iPhone.

"Just hold it in," I muttered, somewhat surprised by his actions. I watched in silence as Loki shut the phone off and then handed it back to me.

"Now," he said as I took it and placed it in my pocket, "assuming that you are not about to receive any other further calls, which I will - out of the sheer kindness of my heart - presume caused you to take such a tone, I do suggest you refrain from taking such a tone of voice with me ever again. You'd do well to be gracious towards me for having saved you from a fate that pales in comparison to what I could easily do to you should you refuse to acquiesce."

I ground my teeth together, resisting the temptation to call him a psycho. "Do you want to go?" I asked him, "I promised to go to this party and while I really don't want to, I have to. If you want to go then you may as well come. It's not that big a deal."

He smirked, "What makes you think I want to attend a mortal gathering?"

"Okay," I shrugged, holding out a hand to hail a cab. "See you around then, I guess."

He came to stand by my side, murmuring in my ear, "And just what makes you think that I am not accompanying you?" he asked me. "Want is not akin to duty."

I looked up at him, "I dunno," I shrugged, "I feel like you probably don't do this kind of thing in your corner of the universe."

"Dance, drink? Of course."

"Somehow, I think our ideas of drinking and dancing are very different," I replied as a cab pulled up to the curb. I looked up at him, "Please don't embarrass me."

He smirked, opening the cab's door and slid into the backseat after me. I looked to the cabbie curiously, "Will you take us to St. John's?" I asked. "You can go the long way if you want," I added as an afterthought, still not entirely thrilled by the idea of going to the damned thing. Part of me wanted nothing more than to just go back to my dorm room, to crawl into bed, and to sleep if it was even possible, yet I was wide awake, a charge I couldn't quite place keeping me completely aware of my surroundings, conscious of all the things that were happening, and destroying any sleepy feelings I'd previously had.

I looked over at Loki, frowning as I saw that he'd leaned his head back against the seat, his eyes closed, seemingly asleep. As if sensing me staring, he opened one eye and looked over at me, "Don't be a fool," he muttered, "I wouldn't sleep under your watch; we would be liable to wind up dead with you at the lead."

I pursed my lips but then turned away, staring out at the passing buildings as the cabbie drove us through London in silence. I could only think of what Jenny had said earlier...something wicked this way comes. My stomach turned over as I thought back to what the book on Norse myths had said: _trickster__, __liar__, __god __of __mischief__, __lie__-__smith__. _I looked over at him again, unable to help but wonder if it really was all true and if it was, I wondered where the line between truth and fiction blurred and the lies began.

* * *

"Raleigh!" Jenny's arms wrapped around my neck as I came through the door, "You made it!" she yelled in my ear over the din. She looked up at Loki who was looking around the room in wonder, clearly new to this kind of party. She pointed at him, grinning hugely.

"Who is this?" she asked me, nudging me eagerly. "Have you been hiding him from me?"

"Uh, no," I shook my head quickly, "it's kind of a long story," I told her, smiling awkwardly, "later on, okay?"

"Right on!" Jenny nodded, "Help yourselves though, there's plenty to drink!"

I smiled again, watching as she twirled away, heading back to the dance floor that had been made in the center of the living area, furniture moved to the walls so that the hardwood floor was all that remained. There was a nagging voice in my head that cynically wondered just how much she'd had to drink already.

Loki elbowed me roughly and looked down at me, "What is this?" he asked me, his lips hovering close to my ear.

I laughed, patting his chest gently. "Like I told you," I said, "it's a party: dancing, music, drinking, food - I thought you said you have all that back on Mars?"

He ignored the jab, "We've dancing and feasts, yes," he nodded, looking around, the look on his his face giving away just what kind of disdainful thoughts he had: he found it revolting, which only made me want to enjoy it. "Don't you like them?" he gestured to the party, "You're not out there," he added as an afterthought, pointing towards the makeshift dance floor.

I scoffed, "I'm not going out there," I shook my head. "Not yet anyway, I'll need a drink first." I had no intention but to ruin his night if it was at all possible and getting ridiculously drunk to start with sounded like a swell idea to kick off a night that would leave Loki wanting nothing to do with me whatsoever.

Loki followed me towards the makeshift bar that had been set up on the island in the kitchen and as I began to make myself a drink, Loki searched through the bottles of alcohol, "Haven't you any mead?" he arched an eyebrow at me, "Ale perhaps?"

"I wouldn't know," I told him with a shrug, "they might have some beer in the fridge," I pointed towards the refrigerator behind him and then picked up a can of coke, opening it and poured it into my glass. I reached for a bottle of Bacardi, pouring it into the glass as Loki watched.

"What have you done?" he asked me.

"I made rum and coke," I told him, quirking an eyebrow. "Have you never tried that?" I asked, slightly disbelieving.

He shrugged. "I don't believe we have rum on Asgard, nor do we have Coke." _Oh of course. No coke or rum on Asgard._ I rolled my eyes and watched him pick up one of the red cans, staring at it questioningly as he searched the tin for some kind of response.

I smiled slowly, slightly tempted to laugh at him and then extended the glass to him pityingly, deciding it might be better to be generous with him. "Do you want to try it?" I asked him.

He took the cup, sniffing it and grimaced, "It's bubbly."

"It's the Coke," I laughed this time, unable to help it, "it has carbonated bubbles in it. Makes it fizzy."

He nodded and took a tentative sip before he pulled the cup away from his lips his face twisting before he took another sip and then nodded, looking at me with a slightly impressed smile. "This is good," he told me. "I like it."

"You can have that one," I told him, "I can make another."

He nodded, looking back out at the rest of the party while I prepared another cup of rum and coke for myself, "Do mortals always have feasts like this?" he asked me as I finished with the drink and walked with him out to the main room of the house.

"It's not a feast, it's a party, and they're not all like this," I told him as we made our way into the far corner. I settled down on the arm of a plush chair while Loki collapsed in the seat, staring out at the various people who passed by.

"Could you bring the rum over here?" he asked me abruptly, curious. I looked down at him, unable to help the smirk that tugged at the corners of my mouth as I saw he'd almost completely drained his glass.

I chuckled and nodded then handed him my drink and ducked through the crowd, heading back to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of rum from the bar. I seized the bottle as well as a few extra cans of Coke and then hurried back to where I'd been sitting with Loki, setting the cans and bottle down on the table beside the chair.

"So you seriously believe you're from Asgard?" I looked down at him as I took my drink back, sipping it slowly.

"I don't believe I am from Asgard," he replied tartly, "I know I am from Asgard."

I chuckled, "Whatever you say," I murmured and rolled my eyes at the idea, sipping my drink while my eyes roved across the faces that lined the walls of the room. Loki was quiet as he sat beside me, occasionally looking at the bottle of rum, reading the label curiously.

I got to my feet as I glimpsed Brian, coming through the crowd with Jenny pulling his arm and smiled at him. "Hey," I greeted, immediately feeling sheepish. I could feel Loki's eyes on the two of us as Brian pulled me in for a hug, leaving a kiss on my cheek.

"Hello, darling," he grinned down at me, "good to see you. A little birdy told me that you wanted to dance?"

I glanced at Jenny who nodded, making motion to go out towards the dance floor.

"S-sure," I told him, before I looked down at Loki, unsure of just what to do with him.

However at that moment, Jenny cleared her throat, "I'll stay here and keep the wallflower company," she told me, squeezing my shoulder as she brushed between Loki and I, taking my place on the arm of the chair.

"Hello, mate, I'm Jenny!" she told him, earning a scowl in return. "No frowns here!" she chirped at him, "Only smiles! Have some more rum!" she reached out, taking the bottle and then uncapped it, pouring some into his cup.

Brian smiled, taking my elbow. "Come on," he told me.

I nodded, looking at Loki, "I'll be back in a few minutes," I told him. Loki looked between Brian and I and then grabbed my hand as I turned.

"No," he shook his head at me. "Stay."

"_Yes_," I nodded at him, "and I am _going_." I leaned close, whispering in his ear furiously, "If you screw this up, I won't help you find your dumb book. Now let go." Loki's hand released mine, his eyes narrowing as he stared up at me and I turned, "Sorry," I told Brian, trying to ignore his confused, questioning look, "let's go."

Jenny clapped a hand on Loki's shoulder, "Don't be jealous, there's plenty of pretty girls here! What's your name anyway?" she asked him as Brian led me out to the dance floor.

He moved behind me as the song changed, grinding with me and I placed a hand on the back of his neck, laughing as he placed his hands on my hips, teasingly pulling my hips in one direction and then the other. He reeked of vodka, his breath hot on the side of my throat, and he kept his large, burly body pressed against mine as the song continued on.

I let my head drop back on his shoulder, gradually losing myself in the music when I felt one of his hands move over my chest, groping at my breasts. I immediately pulled away, resenting the touch and pushed his hand aside. "Brian, stop," I looked up at him, searching his face for some kind of clue about what he was playing at.

"Sorry," he held his hands up, smiling impishly, "I'm sorry. I'll be good!" I nodded, hesitantly beginning to dance again and as I turned, moving to grind against his hips I could feel his hand rise once again, the other with it this time.

I pulled away from Brian quickly, whipping around, "I said no!" I told him, pushing him an arm's length away.

"Don't be such a tight ass," he told me, "lighten up."

"No, look, I don't want to dance anymore," I pulled my arm away, trying to push past him when he seized my arm, pulling me back. "Let go!" I jerked my arm backwards to no avail and let out a cry in frustration, "Brian!"

Loki was in between the two of us immediately, shoving Brian away. _Oh __great__._ I closed my eyes, praying that this wouldn't amount to anything and that Prince Charming would go back to his bottle of rum and tall tales of fantasyland.

"She told you to let her go, you're done dancing."

_As __if __I __should __be __so __lucky__._

Brian stared at him, "Oh get the fuck outta here," he snarled, "this doesn't involve you."

"Brian, no," I moved to push Loki away but he remained firmly planted between the two of us. "Leave it alone, Brian, I don't want to and he's just being nice."

He moved forward, trying to reach around him for me, "C'mere, stop being a bitch."

I could feel a blush burn my cheeks and I opened my mouth to retort when Loki shoved him again. Brian snarled something indistinguishable and aimed a punch at Loki's head which which the raven haired man narrowly dodged. He rounded and let his fist fly out once, striking Brian across the cheek and then again hitting Brian squarely in the face, his nose cracking under the force, blood spurted everywhere.

Loki's hands were on his chest, holding the front of his shirt and he pushed Brian backwards, up against the wall of the living area and lifted him off the ground, his tips of his toes just brushing the ground. I could feel my jaw drop at the scene, watching as Brian fought against Loki's grasp in vain despite being twice his size and it was only then I realized that the room hushed and that all eyes had turned to stare at the fight that was unfolding.

"Loki," I said timidly, I hurried forward, shoving between some of the other partygoers and placed my hand on his arm gently, "it's okay, Loki, he didn't do anything wrong."

He turned to look down at me and I nodded at him, holding his gaze and reached for his hand, covering it with my own, and pulled at it just as I had earlier in the evening. _Talk about déjà vu._

"It's okay," I repeated, "you can let him go," I told him, nodding reassuringly. "Loki, it's okay." He hesitated, eventually releasing Brian and I took Loki's hand in mine, nodding at him.

"We ought to leave," he murmured, looking around at the room and I followed his gaze, staring at the crowd of people who had gathered, trying to ignore the fact that there was still a loud song blaring out of the house's sound system which no one seemed half as interested in now - Loki, the crazy strong man, was obviously far more interesting than any Top 40 Hit.

"That's a good idea," I said, pulling him towards the crowd. I kept my eyes ahead of myself when he stopped suddenly and I turned, tugging on his hand when I saw that Brian was advancing upon the two of us. Loki shoved me towards the wall as Brian let a punch fly, his fist connecting with Loki's cheek with such force that he staggered only to receive another blow, this time to the mouth, as he straightened.

There were some cheers and I fought against the crowd of people as they pressed in closer, curious to see what would come of the fight and how Brian would beat Loki. I pushed my way towards the front of the group, shoving between them and broke through the front of the crowd just as Brian knocked Loki to the floor, kicking him in the stomach over and over until Loki had collapsed and lie on his back, his face twisted in pain.

"Brian!" I shouted and I moved forward when another man grabbed my arm.

"You don't want to go out there, love," he shook his head at me, "better you stay here."

I pulled my arm away as Brian lifted his foot above Loki's throat and raced into the fray, pushing him only to have Brian's hand catch me around the middle, flinging me backwards and to the floor.

"Whoa!" Jenny's voice broke through the commotion of the crowd as they called for Brian to finish Loki. "Brian, leave him alone!"

I picked myself up and Jenny grabbed my arm, pulling me backwards, while Brian returned to Loki reaching down to seize the front of his shirt when Loki's feet met his chest, throwing him backwards and to the ground, breaking a tea table in the process. Loki scrambled to his feet, and pinning Brian down, he pressed his weight into Brian's chest and shoulders before the brawny man could react and began to hit Brian across the face repeatedly until he had fallen unconscious.

I shook Jenny off, running to Loki's side and caught his arm just as his hand moved on the downward arc towards Brian's face again, I braced my legs, steeling myself and Loki looked up at me, his eyes meeting my own. Jenny was at his other side then and she helped me to pull Loki to his feet, away from Brian as he lay on the floor, limp and unconscious.

Jenny and I pulled Loki through the crowd which parted, staring at him as we moved forward, and towards the door. Jenny opened the front door and I pushed Loki out, following him and turned to look at her.

"Thank you," I said, unable to think of anything better.

"Look," Jenny said, "I don't know where you found him," she looked at Loki then back at me, "but you need to get him out of here before someone calls the cops."

"I know," I nodded and watched as she moved to shut the door and I grabbed it, holding it open desperately, "I'm sorry, Jenny."

She stared at me and pushed my hand away, shrugging at me, "Whatever." The door shut, leaving the two of us alone at the front of the large house.

* * *

"I don't like them," Loki's voice was very matter-of-fact.

I turned to look at him, unsure of just how to respond. First he'd beaten a man to the brink of death to keep me from being raped and proceeded to knock his friends unconscious as well and now he had pummeled a rugby player twice his size into submission over me, thus angering Jenny and putting a giant block of tension between she and I. I shook my head and then motioned to walk down the sidewalk towards the road.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"I'm going back to my dorm room, you can go wherever it is that you stay," I said, simply.

He nodded slowly and wiped his bloody mouth with the back of his hand as we walked. He looked down at me curiously as we continued on.

"Are you all right?" he asked me quietly.

"Yeah," I nodded, continuing shortly, "dandy."

I knew better than to be angry with him, that his intentions had been pure, and that it was done out of the kindness of his heart. But a greater part of me fought the urge to accept his actions lying down - Brian had been the proverbial horse which I was to get back on - literally get on. Jenny hadn't shut up about him for weeks and it had been perfectly set up for me to get into bed with him. We'd probably be on our way to a bedroom at this very moment if Loki hadn't been there, the sleazy moves non-withstanding.

I had wanted the sex, had wanted the pointless, horrible, fling that would result in a walk of shame back to the dorm room in the clothes I wore tomorrow morning. But no, I had picked up my own Asgardian knight in shining armor in the process and he clearly wasn't a fan of Brian the way Jenny and I had been. Then again, I had to wonder if it would've been possible that I'd have refused the advances anyway because of how I'd hated his touching me to begin with.

"He didn't hurt you?" he raised his eyebrows at me and I looked up at him, shaking my head in response.

"No." I tucked my hands into my coat pockets, continuing, "Look," I told him as we walked through the dark streets, "we can't stay together like this. You've managed to beat the living daylights out of five guys in a two hour window. I just met you, this isn't right and I can't be friends with you if you're like this," I told him as we walked through the biting cold.

Loki stopped, turning to face me, "I never asked to be friends with you," he said simply "We have an arrangement."

"Okay, great," I said, turning towards him, "but do you mind telling me why you're acting like a medieval knight and swooping in to protect me from every little thing?" I asked hotly. "I'm not a damsel in distress, I know how to defend myself, Loki!"

"Do you?" he demanded, "Do you truly have even the faintest idea as to what motivates men such as that? I do this because you're clearly inept at keeping yourself alive and safe on your own; you're weak and pathetic. Already two men have managed to violate you -"

"Violate me?" I echoed, "There was no violation because you practically snapped one's neck and then beat the other one into the floor!" I shook my head at him, exasperated, and turned away, beginning to walk down the street once again.

Loki blinked, confused, "Is that so bad?" he asked me. "Stopping a man from raping you and beating another for disrespecting you?"

"Yes, it is!" I hollered, rounding on him. "Don't you get it? It's bad! Killing people and beating them is bad! It's not right!"

Loki huffed, "Must you be such an ingrate?"

"Oh be serious," I yelled, "you're only doing this because I agreed to help you find that dumb book you need so badly!"

"No," he retorted, cutting me off, "You made a deal with me, you agreed that you would give yourself over to me in exchange for their lives."

"I never gave myself over to you!"

"You swore that you would do my bidding unquestioningly so long as I did not harm them. I have held up my part of our agreement and now it is your turn, you will do everything I say and all that I desire because that is what you agreed to!"

I stared at him, "You're serious?" I demanded. "You're going to use me and do whatever you damn well please with me? Seriously? That's just as bad as letting either of them assault me!" I told him angrily.

He sneered, "Does it infuriate you?" he asked me, stepping in close to me. I held my ground, staring up at him. "Your kind are good for little more than subjugation, which is just what you have agreed to willingly. Do not act as though you are offended by the thought of it, of doing my bidding, for you and I are both aware that it is quite the contrary. You desire it."

I shook my head, "Don't be daft," I told him. "I agreed that I would do everything in my power to help you, nothing else."

"No," he growled, suddenly seeming so much more imposing, "You agreed that you would give yourself over. You are mine and you will do as I demand. You are little more than a slave and so you should be. Midgardians are worthless to a greater purpose, only fit for this and you are proof. Your species is proof. You follow just as you have agreed to - and I will see to it that you remain mine until you have succeeded in this bargain we have struck."

I stared at him, unable to think of anything rational to say. Instead, I shoved him aside, heading to the street where I hailed a cab. I could hear Jenny in my head again, her voice stern, lecturing. I glanced over my shoulder at Loki as the cab arrived and saw that he made no move to join me this time, instead he watched as I climbed inside of the black cab, pulling the door shut behind me.

"Take me to King's College," I mumbled, closing my eyes. I turned to look at him as he pulled away from the side of the road and back into the street, heading towards the university, "How are you?"

"I couldn't complain," he replied, glancing at me in the rearview mirror, "Rough night for you?" he asked, "Your boyfriend didn't look too happy."

"You could say that," I replied, quietly. I turned to the window, signaling that I had no desire to further continue the conversation, and instead stared out at the London streets in silence.

_Thorns __reach __out __to __catch __their __prey __and __by __the __pricking __of __your __thumbs __realize __that __their __poison __numbs __from __frightful __blooms__, __rank __odors __seep __bats __and __beasties __fly __and __creep__..._

Something wicked this way comes, all right, I thought to myself, something very wicked indeed, and I had fallen right into its trap.


	4. Motivations

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the plot and all OCs. The rest are licensed to their respective owners.

Oh, and by the by, thanks very much to those who've reviewed or left me messages regarding this. I appreciate it a lot.

* * *

Chapter Four: Motivations

I slowly walked through the London rain beside Loki, not bothering to even try squeezing beneath the umbrella he held over his head. Despite it having been nearly two weeks since we'd first met, I was still far too angry with him to even consider going anywhere closer to the god than absolutely necessary. I'd made no move to find him, to speak to him, or to even acknowledge that he had existed after I attempted to explain the entire evening to Jenny to no avail.

However, as if knowing that I was beginning to grow hopeful that he'd found some other girl to torture, he'd shown up after my last class of the day and waited outside of the hall with the damned umbrella over his head. Jenny had seemed far too amused by the scene for my liking. I'd eventually trotted down the stairs and put my hood up to go walking in the rain with him after realizing that there was no alternative, he would have stayed and shown up again and again if I hadn't.

We'd gotten a quick bite to eat at a rather dingy Thai restaurant and he'd fussed the entire time, making it next to unbearable to have a decent, peaceful meal. Whether I liked it or not though, it appeared that his crazy story was true and I'd been bound by some unspoken contract to work for him until he had obtained the mystery book.

I could only hope that it would be soon.

"Where do you sleep?" I asked him curiously, tucking my hands into my jacket pockets as we continued on. The rain continued to beat down upon my hood and I could see my bangs growing wetter with each passing moment. I had to invest in a better jacket at some point or an umbrella even.

He shrugged, "I stay where I can," he told me. "I haven't much input on the matter."

"You don't have anywhere?" I stopped, staring at him, and watched as my breath rose between the two of us in a cloud of mist. When he shook his head I sighed, knowing that what I was about to suggest would likely come back to haunt me and would be something I regretted in the future.

"There's a loft above the bookshop," I told him, "when I argue with Jenny I go and sleep there, the old man who owns the shop doesn't mind and he'd probably be a little happier to know someone was there. I can stay too if you want - the whole deal thing we've got going."

Loki chuckled, "You think it fit for me?"

"Beggars can't be choosers," I told him irritably. "Take it or leave it, Loki, I have a bed to sleep in, you don't."

He frowned deeply, "Show it to me," he murmured.

Twenty minutes later, I led him up the back stairs of the bookshop, glancing over my shoulder at him as we went. He looked disgruntled, clearly not thrilled being put in this position. I turned away, smirking, and pulled my keys from my pocket, sliding the small silver key into the lock and turned it. I pushed the door open, climbing the last step and walked into the small loft.

It was quaint. There was a large queen mattress that lay beside the arched windows which faced out towards the shops across the street. The curtains were pulled back, away from the windows and I moved towards them, untying the curtains and allowed them to fall across the windows neatly, blocking out the late afternoon clouds.

He slowly eased himself down on the bed, looking around at the small flat and I followed his gaze. I let my eyes rove over the claw foot bathtub in the corner, the antique dresser and wardrobe that housed a few of my things, the desk with the lamp, and then the television that was propped up across from the bed upon a small table. He slowly turned, picking the remote up from the bedside table and turned the television on interestedly.

I dropped down into the desk chair, turning the desk lamp on and then looked over at him as he kicked his shoes off.

"So you're really from Asgard?" I asked him.

He shifted his gaze to me, "Yes, do you always ask such imbecilic questions?"

I rolled my eyes, slowly sifting through the takeout menus before I got to my feet and walked over to the small fridge. By the looks of things, at least to me, alcohol was going to be necessary to tolerate him; I pulled two beers out and then shut the fridge, walking back to the desk to scoop up the takeout menus. I walked to the bedside, extending them to him as well as one of the beers.

"Since you hated Thai food I figure you can pick dinner tonight. They deliver and I'll pay obviously. There's also beer - a lot of beer. The shop owner likes to keep a few six packs up here so we have water and beer if you're thirsty."

He stared at me, suspicious, then slowly took one of the beers and the takeout menus, beginning to sort through them while I returned to the desk, easing myself down into the chair, wondering what the coming night would hold.

Hours later, I sat across from him beside the window, continuing to nurse what felt like my tenth beer. It was probably my fourth or something, but it didn't matter. I was drunk and he was drunk and this was fun. He was ten times more tolerable when he was buzzed.

Chinese takeout boxes littered the bed stand as well as the countertop across the flat where our dirty plates lay. Loki was still picking over a box of rice, perched close to the window as he watched the night carry on.

"Tell me about yourself," he said, leaning back against the wall.

I shrugged, "There's not much to tell," I said, "I grew up in New York City, I moved here to live with my mother when I was sixteen, and I've been here ever since."

"Why?" he asked curiously. "Did you not care for New York?"

I shook my head, "I don't know, it's complicated."

"Tell me about it," he urged, closing his eyes, "I'm interested in whatever provoked you to come here."

I sighed, folding my legs and wracked my brain for a solid explanation. "When I was little, my parents broke up. My mom moved back to Cambridge and remarried a childhood friend and I was left in New York with my father and little brother, Ben. They agreed that it would be better that way, that we should grow up in the US and when we were old enough we could decide what we wanted to do. I grew up and went to privates schools in the city and my dad met a really nice guy named Mark and ended up coming out as gay when I was eleven."

Loki's eyes opened and his eyebrows went up, surprised by the admission.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Turns out that's why my mom and dad broke up. Anyway, they got engaged and everything, but they ended up breaking up when I was fifteen. Ben, my little brother was really handling it all badly and there was fallout at school, so I suggested that I come here and spend some time with my mother while my father worked to better his relationship with him and keep him out of trouble. So I moved to Cambridge, did a stint in college, and then I got into King's, probably because my mother is a legacy."

"A legacy?" Loki echoed.

"Students with relatives who attended the school are considered legacies, it's not supposed to be like that over here - they do it more often back home in the States because of private donations - but I wouldn't doubt my mother had some influence over it. Anyway, they have a slight advantage in the selection process for obvious reasons."

"Quid pro quo," he murmured.

"You're catching on," I said, nodding. I looked out the window, "I moved to London in the fall with Jenny, my friend you met, and I've been here since. My dad wants me to come home to New York for the holidays but I don't know what I'm going to do just yet, I might stay here if I need to work."

"I was under the impression that you might come from a privileged and affluential family?" he arched an eyebrow.

I shrugged, "I do, I just don't want to live off of my parents. You know, riding on their coattails isn't what I want. Dad is William Alexander, one of the most highly sought after environmental engineers in New York, he does all of this great stuff like it's nothing and he's so smart and my mom is Veronica Walker now and connected to some of the most powerful people in the country, by blood and marriage. I don't want them to hand me this though, if I make it then I'm going to do it myself and I'm going to work hard."

"That's a foolish desire on your part if I am to be frank with you," Loki replied, "if you've the opportunity for power, why not seize it?"

"Because power comes when you deserve it, just like good fortune. I'd rather be making the right choices to get to that place than having my mother and father pull strings to get me through my life. They won't be here forever, I can't expect them to be mollycoddling me for eternity."

Loki stared at me, finally smiling slowly, amused. "There is no harm in taking what is there, Raleigh."

"Tyrants are born from a thirst and unfair seizure of power," I replied, setting my beer down. I looked up at him, "Nothing good ever comes from that kind of behavior. You can see it whenever you look at our history."

"That is because Midgardians are foolish," he murmured, slowly taking a swig of the beer. He looked out at the skyline for a moment, staring at the twinkling lights of London while I pulled my knees up to my chest.

"So," I said slowly, "you wanna tell me anything about your home life?"

Loki shook his head, "There is nothing to tell."

"Oh come on," I smiled though it felt more like a grimace, "I bet there's a whole bunch of layers under that surly, angry front you give off. Mommy issues?" I suggested, "Did they not put enough silver in your spoon?" He looked at me, smirking, then turned away and I pursed my lips at him, "Daddy issues then?"

He turned, his eyes narrowing, "I will warn you once," he said quietly, "we shall not discuss Odin nor shall we entertain the subject of Thor. Is that understood?"

"Why?" I challenged him.

"Why don't we discuss how your father cheated on your mother with a man while she carried your brother?" he hissed at me and I froze, wondering how on earth he knew about that. I hadn't said a word about it, I hadn't even _hinted_ that my father had been having an affair with a young graduate student who was interning at his firm all the way up until the day my brother had been born.

"How - how did you know that?" I demanded.

"I do not believe that is of your concern, yet if I am to judge your reaction based upon the flush in your cheeks you are ashamed of it and have no desire to discuss it with me further," he smiled devilishly. "Quid pro quo," he murmured, "you do not attempt to discuss my demons and I do not air yours."

I remained still, finally nodding at him, "Fine," I agreed.

"Very good," he smiled again, his eyes glinting as he looked me over slowly. I unwound myself, carefully stretching my legs out in front of me and thought of the space heater that was only a few feet away which would offer glorious heat as soon as I had turned it on. Loki made a soft noise and my eyes lifted to meet his own, curious.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"I'm afraid that I must ask," Loki murmured, "what do you desire?" He kept his eyes trained on me as I stared back at him, trying to formulate a clever response.

"World peace and fluffy bunnies, you?" I bit the inside of my cheek, not willing to give up any serious answers to Loki as to anything I might desire or long for.

"I myself?" he seemed surprised to be asked at first but then he smiled, leaning forward, "I long for something very simple, Raleigh. I desire little else than to return to my home and to take my place as King however tonight I desire something very different, much more carnal and hedonistic."

I set my jaw, "Yeah?" I asked, not looking forward to whatever he planned on following up with.

"Come now, Raleigh," he murmured, "use your imagination, I believe that you and I have similar desires; surely deep, wanton lust burns within you just as it does in me."

I shook my head, "Sorry, Loki, I don't have chlamydia and I'm not interested in acquiring it." I grinned at him, watching as the quip settled, processing and the realization dawned upon him that it was far from friendly.

He smile fixed, his eyes narrowed at me once more, "I ought to pin you to that bed and wipe that snide smirk off your face," he growled. "You would not dare to mock me if I were atop you, dominating you, listening to you moan my name and feeling you quiver, begging me for your release - I would never allow for it."

I folded my arms across my chest, feeling a flush rise in my cheeks at the words before I looked up at him, composing myself, "If this whole King thing doesn't work out, you might have a great career in romance novels," I told him, keeping a straight face.

He snarled angrily, getting to his feet and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me to my feet. He slammed my back into the wall, knocking the wind out of me, and his hips pressed to mine, the pressure and heat seeping from his body and into my own. I could feel an ache rise within me, one I knew far too well. I kept my eyes locked on Loki's though, not willing to even consider for a moment that I might actually want _him._

It had to be the beer.

I could feel his breath against my lips and he hovered just close enough that I could smell the alcohol and chicken on his breath, could feel that his breath was cool against my lips as he smirked.

"You're burning up," he murmured, "don't pretend that I don't make you squirm with desire." He pulled my belt open, one hand taking my own hand and guiding it as he undid the button and zipper at the front of my pants. He dropped his eyes to my panties as he pushed my jeans down slightly, one finger gently tracing the lace detailing as he leaned in, his lips against my ear, "That I don't make you long to thrust a hand into your lacy little panties to play with yourself until you sing and cry out my name like the humble Midgardian you are."

I kept still, closing my eyes as he carefully slid his hand further down in my pants, cupping me through my panties. His teeth took my earlobe, tugging at it ever so gently before his tongue slipped into my ear and he kissed it slowly. I let out a soft cry involuntarily as his hand grew cool and he tightened his grip between my legs. The base of his palm rubbed at my clit through the fabric of my panties and I dropped my head back against the wall, desperately trying to collect myself.

I was frozen though, hardly able to think of something as simple as the color of the sky, yet alone my name or where I was.

"Tell me what you desire," he whispered in my ear again.

"You first," I mumbled, biting my lip as he slowly, deliberately, continued to stroke me through the fabric of my panties. I didn't want to think for a second that any thoughts I'd had of Loki were contributing to this sudden desire that came out of left field. I didn't want to think about the fact that I found him good looking or amusing or addictive to be around. I didn't want to entertain the idea that he might ever be more to me than some guy I could barely tolerate. I had been fine without him yet _this_ was happening, _this_ for whatever reason was happening and I was allowing it because for some unknown reason I liked it and I wanted _him_ just as much as he wanted me.

Wanted by a god.

At least I had good taste. I could say that in defense of my desires, couldn't I? That it was in good taste since he was a god?

"Gladly," the smile in his voice brought me back to reality and he nuzzled me, his lips at my ear. "I desire nothing more than to take you, for you to lie beneath me, begging me to give you the release that you long for and so desire and I shall give it to you over and over and over..." he cupped his hand around me and my hips rose to the touch this time. He chuckled, "You say you have no desire for me?"

I gritted my teeth, trying valiantly to just stop listening to him, to stop smelling him and the intoxicating scent that wafted from his clothes into my nose, leaving me spellbound, to stop hearing the low, deep and richly smooth voice that ground its way into my mind, husky with his own desire. I let him do it again, not even bothering to try fighting him as he stroked me gently, coaxing my hips to move against his hand. It just felt...he hooked a finger inside of my panties, carefully pressing it to my clit..._good_.

"Jesus," I could hear it in my voice, the quiver of want, need, and I was sure that Loki heard it too.

"I shall have my way with you until you are in little more than ruin," he breathed in my ear, "I shall enter you in every way imaginable and show you pleasure which you have never imagined possible. When I am finished with you, you will want for no seed but mine and you will beg for it, the honor of it, and I will make you beg for it on your knees."

"I don't..." I closed my eyes, feeling more of his fingers sliding into my panties, "I don't get on my knees for just anyone."

"That's good," he murmured, his hips pressing closer to mine. His lips pressed to the spot right below my ear and I let out a soft whimper, he drew back, whispering in my ear, "For it is a great honor indeed to kneel before a King."

What was I thinking? What if he was only doing this because he thought that our idiotic deal extended to anything and everything he wanted, sex included? God, I would never ever drink again.

"Get off," I mumbled, somehow coming to my senses through the haze.

"No," Loki replied, his voice stern, he moved to slip a finger inside of me when I suddenly grabbed his wrist. "Raleigh, you don't want to deny yourself this pleasure. Be a good mortal and stay still, I'd like to show you just what kind of delights I might offer you."

"Yes," I nodded, keeping my eyes closed. I pulled his hands back, slowly opening my eyes to stare into his own. "I do want to deny you the privilege of putting anything in me."

He smirked, "You are a fool."

I really didn't want to stop him, but this was the sensible thing, the right thing, I couldn't let him play on my needs like this. There had to be a line, there had to be some block between us that maintained some level of decency and respect. The deal I'd made had been one with no boundaries, sure, and he was free to think that my 'duties' extended to sex all he wanted, but I was just as free to stop him from acting on that thought.

I stared at him, "I think I'll manage to live if I don't have your cock anywhere remotely close to inside of me. We're not going to have sex tonight," I muttered, zipping my jeans up. I buttoned them, "And with your ego I highly doubt you're half as impressive as you might like to think."

"Would you like to see?" he purred, blocking my way from leaving the wall. "I could show you right now just how impressive I truly am in comparison to what you've had."

"You don't know anything about what I've had," I said, ducking beneath his arm. I stopped, looking over my shoulder at him, "and if you try anything tonight, I will put something of my own between your legs - my knee."

He snorted, "As if you intimidate me."

"Do you want to test it?" I asked curiously, "I can do it right now if you really want."

Loki scowled, walking over to me. I stared up at him, deciding to hold my ground.

"If you ever bring serious harm to any part of my body, I will see to it that you are silenced swiftly and promptly, but not before I have had my fill of you," he breathed in my ear, "and I will ensure that you see everything, you feel every movement, and that you scream until your throat is raw."

He pushed me aside, heading to the bed and I turned, staring at him from where I stood as he pulled the sheets and comforter back, crawling beneath the covers. He looked over his shoulder just enough to see me, "These are hardly comfortable. Do you not have silk or velvet on this planet?"

* * *

Jenny offered me a cup of tea as I approached and I reached out, taking the travel cup gratefully, then fell into step with her as we made our way across campus together towards the library. I'd spent the last several days sleeping at the shop with Loki and was exhausted physically and emotionally from dealing with him and all of his various needs. Jenny was amused by it and regularly teased me about spending the night with him, which wasn't what I wanted to hear after the first night.

I hadn't told Jenny about it and I was grateful that Loki hadn't bothered to try anything since, but he had insisted on dogging me incessantly and making my life infinitely more difficult than usual by pestering me during work hours, scaring off customers, and handily losing important papers I had stored in the desk for class. If I didn't know any better, I'd have guessed that I was fostering a mischievous child rather than a centuries old Norse deity.

I took a long drink of the tea and grimaced, looking at the cup. "Is this caffeinated?" I asked her.

She nodded, "You need it, you look like you're dead on your feet."

I grimaced, taking another sip and nearly spit it out as the possibility dawned upon me that it wasn't tea. "Is this _coffee_?" I demanded.

"No," Jenny gave me a bewildered look, "you hate coffee, everyone knows that. It's a Mate tea that has just as much caffeine in it as a regular cup of coffee. I asked them for something that would keep you awake."

I sighed, rubbing my face, "Sorry, thank you," I muttered, feeling like an idiot for the outburst, "I'm just not thinking straight right now, sorry."

"You're staying in a small one bedroom flat with a psycho killing machine, I'd be going out of my mind, too."

"Jenny," I looked over at her, scowling. "He hasn't killed anybody."

"That you know of and from what you tell me, he's only refrained because _you_ ask nicely." I sighed, shrugging her off, and took another sip of the tea, disliking the taste quite a bit. Jenny sipped her tea as well and then glanced over at me, "So what's going on with him anyway?"

"I told you," I said shortly before lowering my voice, "he thinks he's from Asgard and I made a deal with him to find a book he needs."

"Aha...and what book is this?"

I shrugged, "I don't know," I told her. It was a lie, Loki and I had discussed it briefly after I finished work one evening. It was written in Old Norse and had been created from the bone of Ullr, which according to Loki, had spells carved into it. I didn't like the sound of it personally and in Googling the myth while Loki slept, I'd turned up little positive commentary about the bone, it seemed that it was covered with dark incantations. I couldn't help but cynically wonder why I'd ever thought he'd be searching for a bone book covered with _nice_ spells. It wasn't in Loki's nature to seek out goodness from what I had seen.

It was one of the few things I had no desire to confess to Jenny for I knew she had no belief in the possibility that he might be real - I was quite certain that she was of the mind that he was a madman through and through. I couldn't blame her, if I didn't stay in close quarters with him I'd probably think the same. I'd found it amusing, if not a little sweet, watching him take in some of the different sights and sounds; it really had been almost like having a little child at times. He'd usually realize that he was becoming too excited about the dirty mortal object and reverted to his usual self, acting cold and aloof towards anything I thought intriguing, but there were numerous occasions that had resulted in him staring in awe while I stood by.

I'd taken him to Westminster the day before after classes had ended and watched, bemused, as he stared up at Big Ben with his mouth agape before I'd walked with him across the Westminster Bridge to the Eye which only further fascinated him. I'd expected him to drag me on - which he did - but I hadn't expected him to figure out just how the engineers had designed it, including any possible building flaws (such as what bolts would need removing or what tie rod would need destroying) and then to vocalize it to me in the capsule at the very top of the wheel. Needless to say, it had been an awkward descent back to the earth with some people shooting Loki curious and affronted looks.

I was still certain they'd believed him a terrorist or something similar since he'd made no bones about decrying "Midgardian builders" as being incompetent and building things that would only topple over with the slightest budge while walking from the car. There were few places he had respected openly, without bothering to hide his revere from me, and one of them had been Westminster Abbey. He'd shot me a cold look when I teased him over being a religious man and, in much colder terms, explained that he had no desire to disrespect the dead of Midgard, regardless of their 'lowly nature.'

"So do you think he's really from Asgard?" Jenny asked me as we walked into the library.

I shrugged, "I think he needs help," I replied evasively.

She pursed her lips at me as she sat down at an empty table and I dropped into the seat across from her, raising my eyebrows questioningly.

"You're not _sleeping_ with him are you?" she asked me, frowning deeply.

"_What_?" I shook my head, "God no, no, Jenny, no! I'm just staying there until he finds a place of his own."

"Which would be when?" she asked me, pulling out one of her books.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "He's supposed to see a place today, I think."

Jenny's brow furrowed, "I thought he didn't have any money?" she said suspiciously. "You aren't paying for this are you?"

"Would you stop?" I demanded hotly. "He's got something lined up, I don't know how, but he's said he has a lease in the works. I didn't ask him."

"What if he's like a crime lord and plans on bringing you down with him?"

"What if you're overreacting?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. That was possibly one of the most outrageous theories I had ever heard in my life and I had no idea what motivated it, though I did have a feeling that Loki had acquired whatever funds he magically had from some kind of illegal activity.

Jenny fell silent, reading through the textbook while I flicked through the pages of my notebook, my mind wandering as I attempted to study. I glanced around the library, eventually leaning back in my seat and decided that it was time to ask what had been nagging me. I cleared my throat gently, doodling on one of the pages of my notebook as Jenny looked up at me.

"So what happened to Brian?" I asked. "Last I heard he was taken to the hospital?"

Jenny looked up at me, shrugging, "He had a concussion, broken nose, and it's probably a good thing you stopped _him_ before he caved Brian's cheek in."

"And yet nobody fingered me as bringing him there?"

Jenny shrugged again, "You got pretty lucky by the sounds of things. No one knew his name, no one knew if you knew him or were being a good Samaritan or whatever, so what good would it do?" she flicked to another page, continuing, "Brian is hellbent that he'll kill Loki if they run into each other again."

I smirked in spite of myself, almost amused by the thought. I opened my mouth to reply when I suddenly thought of how Brian had lifted his foot over Loki's throat, poised to step on it...god or not, if Brian had hit him in the throat with enough force he'd have easily killed Loki. I set my jaw tightly, surprised by just how unsettled the idea of someone killing Loki made me feel.

"So are you going out to Cambridge this weekend?" Jenny asked.

I shrugged, leaning forward slightly. My mother had called two days earlier asking if I wanted to come out for the weekend to take a short break before the impending Christmas holidays. I'd already told my father that I was planning to join him in Manhattan for the holidays, which left my mother and Frank alone in Cambridge for the New Year.

"Probably," I conceded to her finally.

"Are you taking lover boy?" she arched an eyebrow at me curiously and I stared at her, surprised by the question. I hadn't even thought about what I was going to do with Loki if I went home for the weekend or spent Christmas in New York. There was no way I could get him out of the country, I didn't care how much money my family had, if he was the one who had orchestrated the attacks on New York in the spring, there was a better chance of Satan bursting forth from the cold, hard earth and doing a jig in celebration of the holiday season than Loki making it through border control.

"I...I don't think so," I said finally.

"Your mother would probably like him," Jenny said, almost sounding disappointed by my refusal to invite Loki. "He's evil and makes a mockery of everything that you hold dear."

I scowled at her, but remained quiet. My mother had always been less supportive of my ventures than my father and raised the bar to a much higher standard, which Jenny resented for a variety of reasons. When I first moved to her home in Cambridge, I'd had little intention to do anything besides attend a small, normal university to study Classics however my mother disagreed, enrolling me in boarding school and demanding I maintain and receive the best possible marks on everything I did.

Kings had been her idea, though I often cynically thought she only insisted upon it because she had some influence over my acceptance due to her more than generous contributions as an alum. After all, it wasn't like I had earned the marks to get into Oxford, which definitely would have shut her up, instead I was groomed and thrown into her own alma mater, studying Law at her own discretion which was equal parts interesting and agonizing.

Yet I had never been good enough for her, Jenny thought, even when I succeeded in earning good marks and adjusting properly, it wasn't enough. My wants and desires paled in comparison to her own and what brought me joy was frowned highly upon. I was rather certain the only way I would ever earn my mother's full approval would be to systematically conquer the world and rule it with an iron fist, which, ironically enough, was Loki's main goal in life it appeared. The more I thought about it, the more I began to believe the two of them would bond quite well if they were introduced.

Frank, my mother's new husband, was her exact opposite. He was loud, cheerful, and kindhearted. He enjoyed going outdoors and taking long trips to his country home in Scotland, which I'd been to several times when he'd gone deer stalking. I didn't know how he tolerated my mother, but eventually I came to the conclusion that I was the exclusive recipient of her wrath and disapproval.

Despite how tense things were between my mother and I when it came to academics and my future success, my mother was otherwise decent and did spoil me when possible. I'd wind up going home to Cambridge for the weekend regardless of my feelings towards her pushing me and would happily laze about the house. There would be home cooked meals, my own bed, my own things, freedom from work and the ability to just relax and shirk all of my duties for once.

"I think I will," I said, looking up at Jenny who quirked an eyebrow questioningly, "go home to Cambridge, I mean."

"Ah," she nodded, adding sarcastically, "and you're going to leave the poor, helpless, needy Norse god all alone?"

I grimaced, finally sighing and admitted, "I don't know what I'm going to do with him."

"Just take him," Jenny said, shrugging, "You never bring anyone home but me, at this rate your mother probably thinks we're dating. Not that that's a bad thing, but you're not my type."

I rolled my eyes, "Hilarious," I muttered, "do you really think she'll believe I'm dating him?"

"Why not?" Jenny asked, turning to another section of her textbook that she had marked with tabs. She looked up at me, catching the look on my face and grinned, "Oh come on, he's totally not out of your league. It'd be believable if you two really did hook up with each other."

"I guess," I murmured, wondering if that was truly the case. I pulled my book closer and then looked down at my notes, ending the conversation despite Jenny looking like she wanted nothing more than to build my confidence up further. Why did my confidence need building anyway? Was I that obvious to her? Was it so obvious that I thought him attractive in some weird way?

I pushed the thoughts aside, deciding instead that there had to be something more interesting in my notes - certainly a crude doodle that would be worth laughing at. Whatever the case, I was to meet Loki at an address he'd given me by four o'clock and the last thing I needed to be thinking about was what I liked about him, no matter how sparse that list was.

* * *

"Loki?" I called, pushing open the door that had been left ajar. "Loki? Are you here?" I poked my head into the flat, then slowly stepped over the threshold, shutting the door behind myself. I slowly walked out and into the main area of the flat, stopping in my tracks when I saw just how beautiful it was.

The floors were a light wood, bare, leading towards a large, open room that I was sure compiled of a reception room and the kitchen and I slowly walked through the entrance hall, pushing open doors as I went - there was a bathroom off to the right and dark, though I had almost no doubt that whatever was hidden in the darkness was entirely stunning. I continued on, eventually coming out into the main area of the flat. The kitchen was to my left, full of white cabinets and stainless steel appliances while the reception room was to my right. I turned and dropped my satchel to the floor with a _thump_, my mouth dropping open in surprise.

It was large, with white walls and intricate detailing etched into the built-in shelves that stood from floor to ceiling along the left wall. On the right was a small fireplace built from natural white stone. I looked around the room in awe, staring at the white shelves across the way that rose all the way up to the high ceilings again, liking the details on the cupboard doors. I turned away slowly, finding Loki at last.

He stood upon the balcony at the opposite end of the room, his arms folded across his chest as he stared ahead of himself, his back to me. The French windows behind him were opened wide, the curtains billowing in the breeze as he stood with his face to the wind, staring out at the cityscape.

I approached him slowly, gradually joining him on the balcony and turned to look at him, "This is really nice," I admitted. I hadn't believed he'd been capable of finding a place that was half decent and I didn't want to begin to entertain how much this had cost him or how he had afforded it.

"Yes," he mused, resting his hands on the balcony's ledge, he glanced over at me, "I requested they furnish it over the weekend," he glanced over his shoulder, his nose wrinkling slightly at the sight. "I've no time to pay attention to something such as furniture shopping."

I smirked, folding my arms down upon the balcony and leaned forward, "You'll like it here, it'll do you well."

"I should think you'll also enjoy it," he replied, glancing over at me. "You will be staying here, after all," he added.

I looked at him, shocked, "What?" I asked, standing straight.

Loki shrugged, "It is easier for us both if we're within close quarters to one another. So why don't you make yourself at home here?"

I stared up at him, trying to figure out if he was _asking_ or _telling_ me that I'd be staying in the flat with him and I turned slowly, angling my body towards him. "I'll make you a deal," I told him. Half of the relationship - if I could even call my interaction with him some kind of relationship - I had with him was based upon swindling and dealing with one another. It would be something he'd go for; he didn't like me, but he liked deals.

"Jenny is not to live here," he said firmly, his voice tart.

"That wasn't it," I said, shaking my head, "I don't care about that."

"Go on," he permitted, relaxing as I dismissed the idea of Jenny staying at the flat further with a wave of my hand.

"My mum invited me home for the weekend to stay and I wouldn't feel right leaving you here with no one. You can barely toast bread properly."

"So your bargain is that I go home with you and you agree to move your things here?"

I shook my head, "Not quite," I admitted, "I mean, we'd have a lot more free time out there to go over the stuff you know about this Book and to try and figure out where it's at. But my mother would never leave us alone if she thought we weren't dating. It's weird and stupid, but Jenny had an idea -" he scoffed, turning away and I glared, carrying on anyway, "- that it might be better if we just pretended."

He laughed, then turned, shaking his head at me. "No," he said, "no, absolutely not."

"Loki, _please_," I grabbed his arm. "She thinks I'm a failure at everything."

"Your mother seems like a wise woman," he snapped, shaking me off and headed inside. I followed, grabbing his arm again and spun him around.

"Please, Loki, I just need to show her that I'm not completely screwing up at university, even if it's by making her think I've landed a guy. She'll like you - you two can have Anti-Raleigh parties and even make up a secret handshake!"

He stared down at me, considering me, then frowned, "Should I agree, you will move your things in here and I shall receive carte blanche as compensation for having to be physical with you."

"Carte blanche doesn't cover sex," I told him warningly.

"You insult me, Raleigh," he murmured, "I needn't have a free pass to get you into my bed." He picked up my bag, holding it out to me and as I took it, passing him, he leaned close, murmuring in my ear, "you'll be in it every night anyway."


	5. Deception Unmasked

**Disclaimer:** Standard sort of thing by this point isn't it? I own nothing here except the obvious. The rest belongs to Marvel and the respective writers/creators of the characters mentioned herein.

_I just want to let you know that I may not update half as frequently following this chapter. This is the last of the prewritten chapters I have done. I'm also leaving home on holiday and returning to school in the next week and may or may not have internet access until - at the very latest - the end of August. Whatever the case, I felt you deserved to know that there may not be as many updates in the immediate future. I really don't write this quickly on a regular basis - wish I did, but I don't. Thank you once again for all of the lovely reviews and what not. You're stellar._

* * *

Chapter Five: Deception Unmasked

"So, Loki dear," I closed my eyes as my mother focused her attention on the god once again, praying that it wouldn't be time for the third degree, "where are you from?"

I looked up at Loki, eyes wide, hoping that the word 'Asgard' was the furthest one from his lips.

"I grew up in London," he replied casually, continuing to cut apart the chicken that she'd cooked for dinner. Since she had picked us up from the train station she'd been all too eager to prod him with questions; I'd managed to hide him away upstairs with me (he'd slept in my bed while I typed a paper) but dinner left him out in the open for her to probe curiously. If there was anything my mother was good at, it was probing any potential partners to look for what she deemed weakness. My first serious boyfriend had been 'inadequate' because he hadn't decided where he wanted to attend university yet and if I knew my mother, the look on her face was one of a practiced hunter looking for even the slightest hint of imperfection that might be preyed upon.

"Where?"

"St. John's," he answered, his voice still casual, collected.

My mother smiled slightly, then tucked one strand of sandy brown hair behind her ear, "Do your parents still live there?" she asked curiously.

"I don't have any parents," he said shortly, before adding, "they're dead."

I hadn't seen that one coming and neither had my mother for she fell silent, clearly shocked by the prospect that Loki had no idea who his parents were - how _tragic_.

"I'm so sorry, Loki," she reached out, resting a comforting hand upon his arm while I resisted rolling my eyes and pushed some of my peas around my dish. I waited patiently for her to pooh-pooh his situation and how entirely awful it must have been. Evidently having 'dead' parents earned him a free pass from her own brand of the Spanish Inquisition, it would figure.

"Raleigh, stop playing with your food and take your elbows off the table," she said instead. "Have you lost all of your manners at University?"

"No, mother," I replied in a monotone, pulling my elbows back from the table. I could see Loki smirk out of the corner of my eye and I kicked him beneath the table, grinning with satisfaction when his face pinched together in pain.

"Did you live with a foster family?" my mother asked him gently; I had to wonder if she thought he was too delicate for the hard questions now.

"Yes," Loki told her, his left hand falling lazily into my lap, pulling me closer to himself. I stabbed my fork through several peas, silently raging against myself for having considered this a good idea. "My foster father was the owner of an overseas business and my foster mother did not work," he continued, "they had a son of their own as well as me."

"Are you still friends with the boy?"

"No," I resisted a laugh at the idea of Loki being friends with anyone. "He and I had a falling out some time ago."

"That's a pity," my mother cut apart her chicken and I spared a glance across the table at Frank who gave me a sheepish but knowing grin. "Tell me," she said, dabbing at the corners of her mouth with her napkin, "where do you see yourself in ten years?" she raised her eyebrows at Loki curiously. So he wasn't out of her line of fire after all...

His lips curved up in a smile, "In power," he told her.

"And how are you proposing to go about that?"

"My father is getting old," Loki replied, "my brother is not fit to take over his business but I am, in ten years time I will be at the helm as it is rightfully my place."

I watched as my mother's face broke into a smile and she looked at me, nodding, "You picked well, Raleigh, a man who knows what he wants is hard to find."

Loki smiled at her and I stared at the two of them, unable to help the feeling that I'd somehow stumbled upon two cats with a mouse in their sights, merely plotting on how best to kill it. Jenny had been right, they _were_ two birds of a feather. I turned back to my plate, eating slowly, listening to Frank ask Loki about deer stalking which was met with a negative response from my mother - clearly Loki was above such pursuits. I looked up at Frank, rolling my eyes towards the ceiling and then returned to my chicken.

"So you two have been together for some time now, Raleigh?" my mother asked.

I glanced up at her, chewing slowly while I formulated an answer and shifted my gaze to Loki, meeting his gaze as I swallowed my food. I returned to my mother, "No, we've only been seeing each other for a month, I guess. I've lost track of time."

"Where did you two meet?" she asked, taking a bite of her chicken.

Loki kept his eyes on me, watching as I pushed a piece of chicken around my plate, "At work," I told her.

She turned to Loki, "I was under the impression that you attended King's? Where do you study?"

Loki smiled at her, "I studied at Bristol," he replied. I shot him a look, wondering where he'd found the university but remained quiet; he'd managed to navigate the waters relatively well thus far, hopefully he could keep it up. "I left last year," he added, "I moved back to London in the summer."

"Bristol is a fine university," she nodded, "what did you study? Business?"

"No," Loki chuckled and then took a sip of his wine, "I graduated with honors from the Physics department. I took a course in physics with astrophysics."

My mother stared at him, her mouth forming a small o-shape as she gaped at him, "Astrophysics?" she echoed, she looked between the two of us, almost as if she couldn't believe my finding a man intelligent enough to understand astrophysics.

"Yes," he nodded, taking another piece of chicken. I bowed my head towards my plate, trying very hard not to laugh at the look on my mother's face. "I've a fondness for it," he explained simply, "astronomy was always a hobby of mine and my foster parents taught me a great deal. I suppose I ought to go back for a degree in business but I don't believe running a firm will be nearly as difficult as unlocking the secrets of the universe."

"Do you want children?" my mother asked suddenly.

I dropped my fork, rounding on her while Loki stared, an amused grin spreading across his face.

"_Mum_!"

"Raleigh," she warned, "it is a question."

"It's all right, little dove," Loki murmured, patting my leg gently, though I could tell just by the look on his face that he thought the entire affair was hilarious. He looked back at my mother, "I haven't made any final decisions but I suppose that I'd care for children."

"What Veronica wants to know," Frank said, "is if you'd be interested in having children with Raleigh here and doing her proud."

Loki laughed as I flushed bright red and my mother stammered denials, hitting Frank's arm. When he had finally calmed, Loki reached for the gravy boat, "I believe it's far too early to say," he told them diplomatically. "Raleigh did have quite a bit she wanted to tell you though," he said, deflecting my mother's attention to me, "I wouldn't want to take up all of your time talking about myself. It's hardly polite of me."

I leered at him and then looked to my mother who was still pink, "Uh," I wracked my brain for something worthwhile to tell her, "I'm passing Edna Ames's class," I told her.

My mother sighed, "Wonderful," she said, "though you shouldn't even be struggling. Surely Loki would be able to help you if you're having all that much trouble. It seems like you two are quite close and he's obviously very smart."

Loki smirked, rubbing the inside of my leg as I ground my teeth together, "Yeah, I'm sure he could. If he ever decided to stop living off of his father's money he could do a lot of stuff," I muttered, "but, alas, Loki prefers to take care of himself rather than others."

Loki turned to look at me, his green eyes flashing, warning me to back off, though I knew I was in for it as soon as we were alone. I'd dredged up Odin - rule number one was 'Don't talk about Odin and don't even think about talking about Thor,' after all.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his forehead and his grip on the inside of my leg tightened until it was painful, his fingers digging into my skin through my blue jeans. I pulled back, smiling at him, "But that's okay, I still think you're wonderful nonetheless," I added, deciding my mother would be oblivious to the fake and hammy nature of the statement.

"Little dove," Loki's voice teetered on the edge of a growl, warning me not to continue, "would you pass the potatoes?"

"You forgot to say please," I replied, wondering if he'd break in front of my mother and destroy her picture perfect mental image of him.

"Raleigh," my mother scolded, "stop being difficult and give your boyfriend the potatoes, it's rude. If you have a problem with his success perhaps you ought to work harder at your own studies and stop slacking off with Jennifer instead of bringing such attitude to the dinner table."

Of course, she could also take his side.

Loki smiled at me, his grip on my leg relaxing as I picked up the bowl, passing it to him and then returned to my dinner, seething over the two of them and just how well they seemed to have hit it off. I had expected them to like each other, but I hadn't expected them to like each other this much. I was already anticipating my mother going out after dinner to buy him something expensive as a 'Welcome to the family!' gift in the guise of a Christmas present. He'd love it, I was sure, because it would probably be just the kind of horribly ostentatious thing he'd enjoy. If I'd learned anything about Loki in the last forty-eight hours it was that he liked showing off - he was like a peacock waving his feathers for everyone to see and admire.

And right then, I wanted little more than to send him back to London to starve in his giant, empty flat with his imaginary astrophysics degree.

* * *

"What was that?" Loki asked me as I emerged from the bathroom, towel drying my hair.

I raised my eyebrows, dropping the towel into the laundry hamper, "What was what?" I asked him curiously. We'd finished dinner and had then retired to the reception room, talking about Ben for a little while - he'd made the varsity basketball team and was dating a girl named Kelly. He wanted to come to spend a month in Cambridge over the summer and to bring her, which Loki had found even more amusing than I had. He had a cynical view of young love, saying it would never last, while I wasn't anticipating a miracle between my little brother and the girl, if only for the fact that he'd never dated a girl before. Eventually, after tiring of my family, Loki had excused himself to the bedroom and I'd followed shortly thereafter unwilling to be subjected to whatever my mother had pent up to lecture me over.

"You know what," he replied, watching as I pulled my pajamas on beneath my bathrobe. "Are you such a child that you can't be seen naked?" he demanded, his tone tart, disgusted.

I shot him a dirty look over my shoulder but decided I would drop my robe if it meant he might shut up. I could hear him make a soft noise as I dropped the bathrobe to the floor and began to root through my dresser for bottoms.

"There really is a first time for everything," I remarked, my voice mocking as I pulled a pair of sweatpants from the bottom drawer, "you don't have a smart ass remark for me standing around in my underwear."

He scoffed, "Don't deflect from the issue," he told me as I pulled a T-shirt over my head. I turned to look at him, frowning.

"Seriously, what are you talking about?" I asked him.

"Your little show at dinner," he frowned. I bent down and picked my robe up, hanging it on the back of the closet door on a hook.

"Still don't know what you're talking about," I shrugged at him at him. "Mind explaining?"

He scoffed again but then his voice took on what would normally be a comical pitch, which when I realized he was mimicking me I found hardly amusing, "But, alas, Loki prefers to take care of himself rather than others."

I stared at him, slowly approaching the other side of the bed, "Are you really that upset by it?" I asked him. "Or is it simply a matter of ego for you?"

"For someone who wanted me to take part in a game of cat and mouse with her mother, you did a very poor job of _acting _like you were invested in a relationship with me."

I snorted, "Were you expecting me to fling myself at you or something?" I asked him, pulling the blankets back.

"I certainly did a better job of playing along than you," he snapped at me. I looked over at him, raising my eyebrows and then shrugged him off, laying down in bed.

"What?" I asked him, looking up at him as he gave me a strange look. I watched as Loki leaned across me, turning my bedside lamp off before he leaned down, his lips pressing to my throat gently. I closed my eyes, allowing him to continue on, kissing my neck while I stroked his hair, smoothing the raven locks as he bit at my bare skin. "C'mon, Loki," I muttered as he rolled on top of me, "I told you carte blanche didn't include sex."

"Your mother is still awake," he whispered in my ear, "you're nineteen and in bed at ten o'clock, do you really believe she's going to think we're simply sleeping in here like a good couple?"

"I wouldn't have sex in my mother's house," I hissed at him.

"I'd beg to differ; as your fake boyfriend I would most certainly be having sex with you in your mother's house." He lifted himself over me, frowning, "I also believe you're lying, you've had sex here before."

I sighed, giving in and conceded, "Yeah, okay, once or twice."

"Good then," he nodded at me, bowing his head to kiss at the underside of my jaw, before he paused, continuing, "make noise - Odin knows we aren't playing cards in here."

"I'm not going to make my mother think that we're having sex," I growled through gritted teeth. "That's -"

His mouth covered my own and he kissed me slowly, deeply, his lips strong against my own as his body eased down against mine and he continued to kiss me, his tongue velveteen in my mouth. One of his hands slid beneath my shirt, his palm grazing over the swell of my breast before his fingers nimbly teased at one of my nipples. I let out a soft gasp against his lips, my fingers tightening in his hair as I kissed him harder.

Loki's hand kneaded my breast as he ground his hips down against mine and I opened my eyes as he pulled his lips away from my own, bowing his head down to kiss my throat once again and I let out a groan, knotting my fingers in his tousled hair. Without even bothering to think, I moved to reach for my shirt's hem when Loki pulled away, rolling back to his side of the bed where he gave me his back.

I gaped at him, realizing that it had been a play and let out a frustrated groan, pulling the blankets over my head while Loki chuckled under his breath. In the hall, I could hear my mother's footsteps moving away from the door and I flushed red, desiring little else than to stay beneath the blanket for good.

* * *

I awoke in the late morning on Saturday and opened my eyes blearily to see snow falling from the sky and clinging to the window panes. I smiled, slowly sitting up in bed and looked around the room, surprised to find that Loki had left already. I lay still, reaching out to his side of the bed to see if it was still warm only to find that it was cool, almost like it hadn't been touched. He'd been up early then, as usual. It was one of the few things I'd learned about him after sleeping at the shop in the armchair while he crashed on the small mattress: Loki was an early riser.

Almost every day, I'd woken to him fully awake and dressed, sitting at the desk reading or watching television. He liked the news, but there had been several occasions that I had stumbled across him watching _Bridget Jones's Diary_, which he had despised but watched simply to laugh at, and _Doctor Who_, which he insisted was subpar but had taken to. I also had found several of my textbooks on his side of the bed which he had managed to smuggle away later while I'd worked downstairs.

I rolled over, resting on my back and looked around the room. I'd never painted it, but simply left the walls white, hanging some photos from the few nails I'd hammered into the walls when I first moved in. There were several frames with pictures of my father, brother, and I, a couple of the friends I had left behind in New York, one of my first boyfriend and I sat perched upon my dresser since he and I had remained friends with each other despite breaking up, another on the desk held a still shot of Jenny and I hugging each other outside of the country house. Above the desk hung three pictures of my father, Mark, Ben, and I, as well as one of Ben and I alone from when he had come to visit, and one of my mother, Frank, Ben, and I at their wedding. I couldn't help but wonder what Loki had thought of the sentimentality of it all, if he'd laughed scornfully at how I kept the photos as tokens and mementos to remind me of everyone I loved.

I sighed deeply, slowly pushing the covers away from my body and rolled out of bed, standing, and turned slowly, trying to think of anything that might have given him ammo to use against me. It was silly to be so paranoid of what he might say or do to me, but I was quickly learning that there was nothing Loki wouldn't do to manipulate me which meant my emotions were fair game.

I smiled slightly as the Yale banner my father had given me caught my eye, he'd received his PhD from Yale only a few days before he'd proposed to my mother and had often taken Ben and I to New Haven to attend football games and eat at his favorite restaurants and diners in the autumn. The year before I had left we'd gone to see the Harvard-Yale game, which was a long held family tradition, and he had bought the banner for me when we stopped in the bookstore. To my mother's chagrin, it hung from my wall from the very first day I'd moved in.

My parents had met in Raleigh, North Carolina in the late 1980s while my father was on the verge of completing a Master's degree in engineering at Duke and my mother was traveling through the United States with some of her friends from university. My father had pursued her first, learning over several rounds of drinks that that she was to leave in the morning for the Smokey Mountains and would depart two weeks later from New York City to return to London. She'd left him at the bar after he managed to insult her taste in literature and she his taste in dress; he had followed her all the way to her hotel room on foot, pleading with her to stay for another date, and she left him there the next morning.

He'd been instantly smitten with her ambition and drive and, while she rarely admitted to it, my mother had conceded in the past that she had quickly fallen for his charm that night. Two weeks later, my mother was met at the front doors of JFK by the same tanned Southern boy she had left in Raleigh. She left again, returning to London for two weeks before she flew to Durham and found him again. Their meeting had been my namesake and their romance was a whirlwind. Within four years they were married and within five, I'd arrived and been named Raleigh - it was my father's idea since, according to him, Raleigh was the greatest place in the world and the first place he'd felt true happiness.

Despite their divorce, they had remained close, even if my mother occasionally seemed annoyed by his parenting style. They chatted on the phone, he would visit if he was free from work or Ben was taking a holiday, and he regularly sent small packages to me at school with things that were seemingly impossible to find outside of America. Yale, however, she had hated and she made it openly known to both my father and I numerous times. She'd disliked New Haven too much to ever enjoy it fully but had stayed with him out of love.

I crossed the room to my dresser, pulling out a clean pair of blue jeans and a heavy wool jumper that I'd received as a present from Jenny's grandmother the year before. Jenny had later told me that she only knitted for family members, which meant I'd found my way into their family somehow and that her grandmother openly thought of me as another grandchild.

I dressed slowly, unable to help wondering if Loki had managed to gather this all in his time alone and away from me. I was sure he could weasel anything out of my mother and the pictures I'd kept were tell tale as well. If he had learned all of this, then I was also forced to wonder if he would try to use it as leverage against me, in our arguments, as bait. It seemed like a very Loki thing to do - to use my family and friends against me for his own advancement, yet he'd hardly seemed malicious since arriving in Cambridge and I was forcing myself to remember that it was simply because we'd agreed to play nice on the train ride up.

I finished dressing and left my bedroom, slowly heading downstairs, turning the corner to the kitchen only to find Loki standing in front of the sliding glass doors that led outside. I stopped in the kitchen's entrance, but eventually came forward, standing beside him at the doors and watched in silence as the snow fell.

I looked up at him after a while, clearing my throat slightly, "Is it just us?" I asked him curiously.

"Yes," he nodded, "they went to the market together. Your mother insisted that she needed more bread," he spared a glance towards the counter where three loaves of bread already sat and smiled crookedly before he turned his gaze back to the falling snow.

"She's a little neurotic," I admitted, "she and my dad got snowed in up in the Catskills one year with friends and I don't think she's ever gotten over it."

"Catskills?"

"Oh," I nodded, remembering that he had no idea what I was talking about, "it's a set of mountains in New York, people take vacations there sometimes."

"Ah," Loki pointed to the snow, "does it snow like this there?"

"In the Catskills or America?" I asked him.

"Both," he replied.

"Yeah," I nodded, "it usually does. My dad's parents live in Vermont and he would go skiing there every winter growing up. We went there a few times when I was little and I learned. I broke my wrist when I tried learning how to snowboard," I looked up at him, catching sight of his smirk and frowned, "and you don't care."

"No," he shook his head, chuckling, "do go on, I find it delightful that you believe I care so deeply for your pastimes and childhood memories."

I scowled at him, then left his side to retrieve my coat and unlocked the sliding glass door, which I pushed open. I looked up at him challengingly and then pulled my coat on, venturing out into the cold.

"Come back here!" Loki called to me from the door as I walked off of the patio, "Raleigh!" I could hear him sigh in frustration, "You'll catch a chill. It's freezing out there, coughing and blowing snot all over important papers, yet alone Ullr's Book!"

I looked over my shoulder at him, shaking my head in reply. "Come out here!" I lifted my chin to him, hoping he'd catch the challenge, "Stop being a wuss!"

I continued on, out into the yard, and then glanced over my shoulder to be sure that he'd followed - he had, a disgruntled look upon his face as he advanced upon me. I grinned, scooping up a handful of snow, cupping my hands around it to form a snowball, and waited until Loki was in the right range before I threw it at him, laughing as it struck him squarely in the chest.

He stopped in his tracks, staring at me as he brushed the snow away and I bent down, scooping up another handful of snow.

"Come on, Loki," I called to him, "it's a game!"

"Midgardians find this entertaining?" he asked, picking up a handful of snow which he steadily formed into a ball while I took aim at him again, the snowball hitting his ear this time. He looked up at me, frowning, "This is only further proof that your species is mindless and immature. It is little wonder your kind is so easy to subjugate when you take part in childish pursuits such as this."

I pursed my lips at him, "Seriously, Loki, shut up, at least my species hasn't played with spears in the last two hundred years." I flung my snowball at him and watched as he dodged it easily with a speed I hadn't anticipated. I scowled at him, leaning down to scoop up another handful of snow when his snowball smashed into my cheek and I looked up in shock as he threw another at me which hit my forehead.

I spluttered, shaking my head so that the snow fell loose, and darted towards the tree line as he threw another snowball at me. I grabbed a fistful of snow, flinging it at over my shoulder at Loki as sprinted after me, gaining on my heels until his arms encircled my waist. His skin was ice cold as he lifted me into the air and I thrashed in his arms as he pulled me down to the ground, wrestling with me in the snow.

I yelped as he tussled with me on the cold ground, growing scared for a moment that I'd wind up hurt for having flung snow at him before I realized that he was _playing_ with me just as I was playing with him and I began to laugh, continuing to fight with him. He was gentle as he pulled me around in the snow, his hands prodding and teasing me while I bucked beneath him, twisting and pushing.

He tossed a fistful snow at me as I flipped him onto his back, straddling him to the ground and I shrieked as some of it fell down through my coat and into my shirt. I grabbed more of it and rubbed it upon his face, laughing with him as he shook his head, wiping his face clean and then I stopped, faltering and growing still as he rolled me onto my back again and I stared at him, my eyes growing wide.

"Loki..." I whispered breathlessly, reaching out to touch his face.

His smile faltered when he realized what I was reaching towards and he began to pull away but I seized the front of his shirt, holding him close to watch as the skin on his face that had been rubbed with snow gradually turned a deep blue. I looked to his hands which had been planted on either side of me, noting that they were also blue and slowly released his shirt, lifting my eyes to meet his only to find that red had replaced green and he jerked away quickly, happy to be free.

"Loki," I sat up, reaching out to touch his face, "Loki, stop."

"Don't touch me," he snapped pulling further back. It was too late though, my fingers brushed the blue on his cheek and a white hot pain flashed up my arm. I yelped, pulling my hand back and stared at my fingertips as they blistered. I looked up at him, searching his face, trying to find a familiar feature that I recognized.

"Loki," I began slowly, "Loki, why -" I broke off, faltering. What was I supposed to say? Why are you blue? Why does it hurt me to touch your skin? I cast my eyes downward, avoiding his gaze as he stared at me.

"It repulses you," he murmured.

I looked up at him, gaping, and shook my head, "No," I told him. It shocked me, yes, alarmed me even, but it didn't repulse me. I didn't understand it, just like I barely understood anything of Loki, but I could see it on his face: self-loathing.

"Do not lie!" he barked at me and I jumped, startled by the outburst. "You see what I am now," he hissed through clenched teeth. "You cannot touch me without pain and you look away just like the others, it repulses you that I am a monster."

I set my jaw, shaking my head at him and sat up on my heels, well aware that what I was preparing to do was stupid and would be extraordinarily painful if that initial touch had been any indicator. "I don't think you're repulsive," I muttered, "and you're not a monster."

He scoffed, beginning to get to his feet when I reached out, brushing his cheek with the back of my hand. I whimpered, feeling the same ache radiate up my arm and Loki froze, watching as I slowly extended my other hand, cupping his face gently, trying valiantly to ignore the blistering, burning sensation from the cold of his skin. I hissed out a slow breath from between my clenched teeth, watching his eyes narrow as I let my face twist in agony.

"You're Loki," I whispered to him finding enough strength within me to speak clearly. I held his gaze, continuing, "That's all."

By this point the blue had extended all the way from his face down to his neck and I was sure that it now covered his body, yet I placed my hand over his chest anyway, feeling the sting of cold against my palm even through the knit jumper and his heart as it beat frantically against my hand. I grimaced as the cold skin burnt my hands, but no longer whimpered or yelped. Instead, I pushed his hair from his face, watching as he closed his eyes and then rested my hand upon his cheek again; the same stab of cold drove into my skin as I touched him but he slowly lifted his hand to cover my own and pressed his cheek against my palm.

I let out a gasp as pain exploded in my hand from the touch yet I remained still, wondering how it was that he resented himself so much. I leaned in a little closer, resolute, saying a silent prayer that he might allow me to carry out exactly what I had intended...

I was a few inches from his lips when his eyes flew open and he jerked away from me abruptly, getting to his feet.

"What do you gain from this?" he demanded angrily.

I stared up at him and stood slowly, "From being _nice_ to you?" I asked.

"Do not lie to me!" he shouted at me. "You mock me and my desires by feigning such care and pretending that you might like to love the monster that I am regardless. Do not take me for a fool, Raleigh, and make no mistake that I see what you are attempting to do."

I stared at him, "Loki," I cut him off as he moved to walk away and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my forehead to the crook of his neck while he froze, his body stiffening at the affection and I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood to keep from crying out over the pain. I pulled back, but kept my body close to his, mildly relieved that my coat kept me from burning, and did my best to pretend that there was no burning feeling spreading through my face from the touch of his skin to mine. "Loki, calm down. I don't hate you."

"Why?" he spat at me, "Because I'm just as alone as you?" he snarled. "Is it because you think ourselves so alike?"

I flinched, it had been my reasoning as of late - that he and I were alike and that it was why we got along on our better days, that it was why I liked him, why I desired him.

"If that is your reasoning than you are a greater fool than I might have imagined," he snarled, clearly having seen that he struck a nerve. "No one views you as a beast, no one tells their children stories of you as a monster and fiend, you are but a pure, lowly, Midgardian woman with nothing to offer a god such as myself. Do not attempt to delude yourself into thinking you are above the rest of your kind to me when you as just as useless and weak as the rest."

"I don't hate you because you're not bad," I told him, tasting the blood that was flowing freely from the inside of my cheek, I ignored it, hoping I might justify myself by adding, "I can tell."

He stared at me for a moment before he leaned in so close that I thought he might kiss me, his eyes were blood red and bore into my own, his breath chilled and cool against my lips as he came in close to me, and he growled, "Were it not for your being of service to me, I might have killed you the night we met myself. I should like nothing more than that at this very moment just as I wanted nothing more then and I will see to it that when the times comes it will be at my hand. I assure you that I am not what you call a good man, for there is no man in this world of yours like myself, and I promise you that when you have fulfilled your duties, I will tear your flesh from your bones and while you lie screaming in agony I will crush your skull and snap your neck. I will break you and I will destroy you, do not delude yourself, Midgardian."

He shoved me away from himself, stalking off, and I stared after him, speechless, my heart hammering out what felt like a thousand beats per minute. I watched as he made his way inside the house, slamming the sliding glass door shut with such for that the noise echoed and I looked down at my hands, staring at my palms as they blistered red, almost like they'd been burned and frostnipped at the same time. I was shaking, my body quivering violently as I thought of his threat and I closed my eyes, regretting the thought that he might allow me to carry on and might have come to like me as I had come to like him.

I tucked my hands beneath my armpits eventually, spitting out a mouthful of blood as I began to follow in Loki's footsteps, wondering if he truly did mean that he planned to kill me when all was said and done and if he did, I wondered how I might be able to convince him it wasn't worth the effort. I had no desire to be killed at his hands and little desire to keep his company beyond this. No one would ever believe I'd helped him, so where was the sense in killing me?

There was none, I decided as I approached the patio, still trembling with fear, and there was never going to be any sense with Loki.

* * *

My mother reached across the table, pulling one of my hands towards her and stared down at the bandages I'd wrapped around my palms, "Raleigh, what on earth did you do?" she asked me, her eyes widening.

"Oh," I pulled my hand back before she could look too close, "I set breakfast on fire when I was cooking for Loki and I this morning and burned my hands."

"You ought to have Frank take a look," she told me, frowning deeply and looked over at Frank as he sat down.

"Frank ought to look at what?" he asked, looking between the two of us.

"Raleigh's hands," my mother said, "she burned them cooking breakfast."

Frank reached across the table, picking up my other hand as he sipped his tea and then unwound the bandage while my mother got to her feet, leaving the table as the phone began to ring. He stared at my blistered, raw palm and then looked up at me, his brow knit together.

"Burned breakfast, eh?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I nodded quickly, "clumsy move, you know how I am. I lit a pot holder on fire and everything went up after that," I lied, hoping that Frank would leave it alone.

He did but he pulled the wrap away from my hand, "You ought to go clean out those burns again," he told me, giving me a pointed look that clearly told me he knew I'd lit nothing on fire. "I want you to put some cotton between your fingers when you go up there, you need to keep your fingers separated and let your hands warm up. No cooking tonight either," he told me as mother returned. He undid the other bandage and I could see him frown at the burn which covered the back of my hand as well, yet he remained silent.

It was part of why I respected Frank so much - he and I had an unspoken agreement to keep certain things between the two of us and this would be one such instance. I nodded at him gratefully.

"Thanks, Frank," I told him and he nodded in reply as he picked his mug of tea up, drinking it once again.

"Frank, can't you get her anything?" my mother asked, looking down at my hands, "those burns look terribly painful."

"Do you need a prescription?" he asked me, sighing heavily. Frank was a doctor, which had always proven useful to me when I'd needed medicine, treatment, or an excuse note, but my mother often abused the power by insisting he give me medicine or treat me to the full extent of his ability.

"No," I shook my head, "I'm fine."

My mother frowned at us, but sat back down and then looked over at me, "Where's Loki at?" she asked me curiously.

I spared at glance at the empty seat beside me, "He and I had a fight," I explained, hedging around the truth, "he's sleeping."

My mother frowned, "Why don't you go see if he'd like some tea, Raleigh?" she asked me with a pointed look. She wanted him there for dinner again, I was sure.

I pushed my chair back from the table, "I'm going up to the bathroom anyway," I said, getting up from the table. I took the bandages from Frank as he held them out to me and walked over to the trashcan, tossing them into the bin. I picked up the extra mug that my mother had set out and threw a teabag into it, deciding that I would use the tea as a peace offering.

I pulled my sweater's sleeve down over my hand and picked up the kettle, pouring some of the boiling water into the mug. I set the kettle down and picked the mug up, then left the kitchen, climbing the stairs to the second floor landing slowly as I attempted to formulate a half decent conversation starter to hit Loki with. He was probably expecting an apology, which he could shove, because I'd done nothing wrong as far as I was concerned.

I walked down the second floor hallway to my bedroom door and pushed it open slowly, knocking timidly as I did so.

Loki slowly pulled his gaze away from his hand which was still blue and stared at me as I hovered in the doorway with the mug of tea clasped in my hand.

"Hi," I said lamely.

He looked away, back at his hand, inspecting it and I watched as it steadily changed from blue to the warm, light colored human skin I'd grown used to.

I pushed the door shut behind me, "My mother wanted me to see if you'd be interested in having some tea," I told him, walking forward to set the cup down on the bedside table. He watched in silence as I set down the mug, his eyes lingering on my hands as I pushed my sleeves back, wondering if I had any bandages in my bathroom.

"Are you going to talk to me or just ignore me?" I asked, heading into the bathroom. I flicked the light on and pulled open one of the drawers to see if there were bandages still. Sure enough a fresh, unopened roll of bandages was lying in the drawer amid Band-Aids, gauze, and medical tape that Frank had pilfered from work to bring home. He'd made a habit of taking excess supplies when I first moved in and had attempted, in vain, to play polo several times with some of the locals. My failed attempts resulted in breaking a rib and wrist and I'd been thrown into a pile of brush on a trail ride once, which was when he finally decided that teaching me the basics of field medicine might be of value. I was more than certain that my mother had thanked her lucky stars when I showed an aptitude for it and Frank carried on.

Loki continued to ignore me and I sighed, picking up the bandages and then rummaged through the bottom drawer to find the cotton balls. Finding them, I stood straight and emerged from the bathroom, watching as Loki sat up in bed staring at me.

"Giving me dirty looks isn't going to change anything," I told him, sitting down at my desk. I tossed the cotton balls and bandages down, my hands, still sore from touching him, were clumsy as I opened the bag of cotton balls and began to tuck them between my fingers the way Frank had directed.

"Why did you insist upon touching me?" he asked, watching as I continued to tend to my hands. "Was making a mockery of me worth this?"

I looked up at him, frowning deeply, "Why is everything always about _you_?"

"You chose to make it about me when you flung yourself at me outside," he replied, his voice was low, a steel edge to it that warned me not to try turning the blame back on him again. I ignored it.

"No, Loki, you made it about me when you started putting words in my mouth and making assumptions about how I feel regarding the fact that you turn blue in the cold."

His eyes flashed dangerously, "_Don__'__t_," he said.

"Don't what?" I shot back, "Don't bring up the fact that I've burnt my hands on your blue skin? That you're being a twat over it and acting like it's the end of the world because I've seen it? What's the big deal? Aren't all of you like that?"

He was silent, his eyes locked on my own, and he slowly shook his head, "No," he told me, "Asgardians do not have blue skin."

I blinked, surprised by the admission and leaned back in my chair, slowly rotating it around so that I was facing him more fully, "What are you saying, Loki?"

He set his jaw, "It is not of your concern."

"Yes, it _is_ of my concern," I replied, scowling at him. I picked up the bandages and began to wrap my right hand.

Loki watched the action in silence before he slowly lifted his hand, waving me over, "Come here," he urged me.

"Why?" I demanded, slamming the roll down on the desk, frustrated.

"Raleigh," he snapped, growing irritable again, "I am in a giving mood, come here and allow me to see your hands before you ruin it."

I huffed, getting to my feet and seized the bag of cotton balls and bandages which I flung at him unceremoniously before I sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. I held my hand out expectantly, watching him with narrowed eyes.

"You're deflecting," I said tartly.

"Oh for the love of Nine, would you shut up?" he asked me, his tone exasperated as he took my wrist in his hand. I flinched as he reached for it, but relaxed when I felt nothing but warmth in his hands.

I frowned, looking down at his hands and slowly lifted my other, touching the back of his hand gently - feeling the soft skin, the pulse of his blood, the heat that poured from his body - and he held mine, beginning to pull the cotton away. I moved to pull my hand away, hissing various curses at him to stop ruining my work when his grip became vice like, holding me still.

"Don't," he warned.

I held his gaze, setting my jaw tightly and narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'd simply like to see," he murmured, turning my hand over to stare at my palm. He ran his fingers over my palm gently, tracing the burns from his skin. "Mortal medicine will do little to help you with this," he explained, his fingers tracing over my skin once more. He looked up at me as a strange tingling sensation raced up my arm and I looked away, down at my hand and watched as the skin beneath his fingers healed, smoothing as fresh skin blossomed, spreading out and over the rest of my hand until it was covered with new, soft skin.

Loki smiled slowly, almost as if he were proud of himself, and reached for my other hand while I marveled at how easily he had healed me.

"Loki," I looked up at him as he did the same thing to the other burns he'd left, "what's going on?" I asked him. "Seriously, I need to know, you can't just keep bullshitting me about all of this. I have to know what you are and what I'm involved in. It's fair."

He stared at me for what felt like an agonizingly long time and then, finally, he spoke, "You're right," I might have fallen over and off of the bed if it weren't for the fact that he still held my hands in his own, "Raleigh, it may be time for me to explain just what it is that I desire to you and what has happened leading up to this point."


	6. Of Mercy and Might

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing beyond the plot and anything original. The rest is licensed to respective owners and I make no claims.

_As it turns out, this chapter ended up being much shorter than anticipated and I'm rather satisfied with it overall so before I fly out I decided to post it. From here on out, I'll stagger things a bit more and the next chapter will be the average length. When I'll actually be able to sit and write that I couldn't tell you. _

* * *

Chapter Six:

The next two hours were complicated. I sat in bed with Loki, listening in silence as he began to explain to me everything that I had been kept in the dark about until that point. It was strange, watching him as he sometimes fell silent, clearly overcome with emotion before he composed himself and carried on with a new fire. He would get to his feet, pace the room, circling like a caged animal until he had calmed down enough to rejoin me on the bed, where he would continue, his voice no longer angry but quiet, his emotions controlled again.

He'd been adopted, stolen away from Jotunheim the land of the frost giants as a child by Odin and raised as an Asgardian Prince. Thor, his brother, had overshadowed him and led him to Jotunheim with the Warriors Three whereupon he had learned of his true nature; upon confronting Odin, the truth emerged and Loki was left to himself. While I had a feeling the choice had been his own, I refrained from vocalizing my theories and instead listened to him as he explained to me what had happened after the Bifrost had been destroyed.

He'd fallen through space and into another corner of the universe that he had never seen before, yet he was welcomed by a creature known as the Other. The Other and its master had promised him Midgard in exchange for his services which had resulted in the destruction of New York City in the spring and the formation of the Avengers. Loki had been returned to Asgard and imprisoned in the deepest dungeons offered, only to be sent here by Odin several weeks earlier.

As he finished briefing me about the history of his time between the two worlds he slowly began to explain the purpose of our partnership.

"The Other," he paused, his eyes lifting to meet my own as I sat beside him, curled up in a tight ball with my head resting against the headboard, and then slowly carried on, "and his master plan to have me disposed of."

"Sorry?" I picked my head up. "Disposed of?"

"Isn't that how your people say it?" he asked me, "To dispose of one's problem?"

I scowled at him, "That's different, Loki."

"How so?"

"No one says they're going to dispose of their problem unless their part of a crime ring. Stop watching television, your references are poorly placed. What's this about the Other wanting to kill you then?"

He sighed heavily, picking at the bedspread. "I failed and as a result of my failures, my life has been put in jeopardy, leaving me with little option otherwise than to find the book that I have told you of."

"Because a magic book is going to make the Other go away?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Raleigh," he gave me a reproachful look, "must you?"

"Don't say stupid things," I muttered, frowning at him.

Loki sighed, "It is believed that the Book of Ullr can counteract any of the magic that has been put in place already, including the stripping of my powers and my placement here upon Midgard. If I acquire the Book, I ought to be able to return to Asgard where I will have enough power to combat the forces that have been put in place against me."

"So you just plan on using it to get back to Asgard and to circumvent Odin's punishment?"

He hesitated, musing over an answer before he nodded, "I suppose one could say that I have a desire to circumvent the punishment, yes."

"And what am I good for?" I asked, my frown deepening, "I think I made it explicitly clear last night that I'm not good for virgin sacrifices. You'll have to look elsewhere if you need the blood of a virgin or something to summon it."

He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, "You act as though I believed you ever were," he muttered, "I need you if only to assist me in appearing to be a normal Midgardian."

"So you don't need me to do anything fancy like take a fall or something?"

"No," he shook his head, "I require you to be a prop and little else than that. You do what I say, when I say, and how I say it. In return, should you succeed in this, I may find it within me to spare your life."

"That doesn't seem like a real fair trade off," I said slowly, "you _might_ let me live?"

"Come now, Raleigh," he rolled over so that he was facing me and held my gaze with his own, his eyes glinting, "don't you think it a fair wager? You live if I live."

"No," I shook my head, "I really don't."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're going to live regardless, you'll kill me before you know what happens with the Other just to ensure that I don't talk to someone about all of this," I hissed at him angrily. "That's why this isn't fair!"

"You believe that the Other will let you live if he kills me?" Loki whispered, his lips curving into a smile as my cheeks grew pink, "Oh, Raleigh, even I did not think you that naive. The Other will kill you in a far crueler fashion than I might ever dream imaginable. I aim to kill you intimately, he aims to kill you slowly, bit by excruciating bit until you beg him to finish it and still he will carry on. What I will show you is mercy in comparison to what he has already planned for you."

"So tearing the flesh from my bones and crushing my skull and snapping my neck is merciful?"

Loki tilted his head, the smile never leaving his lips, "You'll find it far more relieving to die by my hand than to face the Other without my protection. I will be quick and it will be painless. "

"Somehow I doubt you slopping skin off my bones is going to be painless," I shot back, scowling at him, a heavy weight setting in my stomach at the idea of Loki already plotting how he was going to kill me.

"What do you require to believe it fair?" he asked me, his eyes were still glinting and I couldn't help but think that he genuinely thought this entire conversation amusing, that my life hanging in the balance was funny.

"You not killing me and keeping the Other from killing me," I said immediately.

Loki laughed darkly, "You request far too much of me, Raleigh."

"Then what do I have to do to _persuade_ you not to kill me?" I asked him, searching his face for some hint of an answer.

"You ruled out what I desire quite some time ago," he replied, smirking at me.

"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrows and then rolled onto my back, rubbing my face slowly, "You're telling me that you'll keep me safe if I have sex with you?"

"I do believe that is what I am telling you, yes."

"Why?" I asked, turning my head to look at him, "What's the point?"

"The point of sleeping with you?" he chuckled, "I should think that even you are not that stupid, Raleigh. My reasoning is pleasure."

I rolled my eyes, "You know what I mean, Loki," I muttered, frowning at him.

"I wish to sleep with you because short of killing you it is the most intimate way I shall I ever know you. It is the only thing that can compare to the vulnerability you might display in the very final moments of your life and I wish to take those moments from you in any fashion possible whether it be by killing you or through sex."

I stared at him, nodding slowly as I mulled the answer over. It was disturbing, ridiculous even, but I was far too exhausted to begin screaming profanity at him. I licked my lips nervously, then looked past him to the wall, not daring to meet his gaze, "Why?"

"Why do I wish to have you at your most vulnerable?" he asked. He pushed my jaw gently, staring at me as he gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger.

"I..." I nodded, "Yeah."

"It's merely self-explanatory, Raleigh. You might know what it feels like, to have someone so open, so naked to you that they will tell you anything, give you anything, so vulnerable."

"It's the whole power trip thing for you," I said, pushing his hand away, I frowned at him, "What is it with you and needing to have all of this power over people?" I asked.

"Is that right?" he snickered, dropping his head down on one of the pillows, "You have such a low opinion of me that you believe I am entirely motivated by a thirst for power?"

"Don't get cute," I scowled, continuing, "I'm not an idiot."

"No," he shook his head, his eyebrows going up as he smiled at me, "you're not an idiot but you are a fool and they are not more than a stone's throw from each other."

"Lovely," I pursed my lips. "Doesn't answer my question though."

Loki inched in closer to me, hovering a few inches away from me and held my gaze with his own, I could see the flecks of yellow and blue in his eyes as they caught the light and he smiled at me, his breath gentle upon my lips. "I relish the feel," he explained, his voice little more than a whisper, "I want to feel that from you. I want you to bare your soul to me, to show me a part of you that no other man will ever be able to experience in the same way."

"And in that moment, when I'm completely bare to you in every manner of the word, you'll have complete power over me, won't you?"

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he grinned at me, "Does that idea excite you?" he whispered to me, "Does my having power over you fill you with desire?"

I shook my head, honest. "Not really," I told him. "You want to have sex with me that way you can say you've got power over me, not because you genuinely want me."

"You wouldn't be right in saying that I don't desire you," he murmured, his eyes locked on my face as I rolled over onto my back once more. "For I do desire you, if only to have power over you."

I slowly turned my head, staring at him, and then boosted myself up on my elbow as he rolled onto his back, his eyes growing wide with curiosity. He gave me an expectant look, his eyebrows quirking up as the corners of his mouth curved upwards and I chuckled softly, unable to help thinking that if I didn't know him any better he might actually want more than the banter, more than power, more than dominance. But the problem was, I did know him better and I knew all he wanted was to have his way.

"Come here," he murmured to me, "if our time together is short, I'd like very much to have you bare yourself to me now - you can call it a Christmas present."

I laughed derisively, leaning in so that I was inches away from him when a knock came at the door to the bedroom. I smirked, turning to the door while Loki dropped his head down on the pillows, grumbling under his breath.

"Yes?" I called.

"Raleigh," my mother, "are you and Loki decent?"

I sighed, hanging my head and looked to Loki who was busy ruffling his hair and pulling at his jumper. I swatted at his hands and he immediately grabbed me around the waist, pulling me in so that I was nearly sitting upon him.

"Yeah," I said before Loki could go any further. He merely pulled me around as my mother opened the door, positioning himself so that he was lounging in my lap, the back his head resting upon my middle.

"Play along," he growled quietly as my mother smiled at the two of us.

"I see you two have made up," she said as she hovered in the doorway. I lifted one of my hands, slowly combing my fingers through Loki's hair, keeping my eyes on my mother. "Frank and I decided that we'd like to go out for dinner this evening as the snow has stopped, one of our friends invited us out, would you two care to join us?"

I paused, looking down at Loki as he tilted his head back, staring up at me. He looked back at my mother, shaking his head, a faint smile on his lips. "No thank you, Veronica," he murmured, his voice lazy, "we'll stay in tonight, I'm not feeling very well I'm afraid. I might have caught a chill this morning in the cold."

My mother nodded, sparing me a look as Loki pressed himself against me, closing his eyes, "What time will you be leaving tomorrow?"

"After lunch," I told her. "I have a paper due on Monday otherwise I'd say in the evening."

She nodded, stepping back through the door and then hesitated, "If I don't see the two of you until the morning then goodnight, there's plenty of food in the kitchen cupboard to cook."

"Bye, Veronica," Loki waved at her while I smiled weakly. She pulled the door shut and he looked up at me as I continued to pull my hands through his hair, "You should do this more often."

"You should be so lucky."

* * *

Loki pulled me around in bed and I opened my eyes slowly, staring at him blearily as the dark room came into focus. I stretched slowly, letting out a soft groan as my body unwound from sleep and sighed as Loki hovered above me, one hand resting upon my waist.

"What?" I asked him sleepily as I closed my eyes once more, "C'mon, I have class in the morning."

Loki was quiet, finally resting his head upon my chest and I paused, opening my eyes to stare at him as he huddled close to me. He _never_ wanted to touch like this, not when it was so simple, innocent. Loki usually refused any touch I attempted and save for when we had stayed with my mother, I couldn't recall a single time when he had freely allowed me to touch his body.

"Loki?" I murmured.

"Stop talking," his voice was muffled, lost in my shirt, and I sighed heavily, beginning to stroke his hair instead. I closed my eyes, not bothering to continue trying to figure out why he was feeling oddly cuddly tonight, and I continued to pull my fingers through the dark tresses until his voice broke through the darkness once more.

"Do you suppose that it will work?" he asked me.

"Does it matter what I think?" I replied, understanding instantly that he was referring to Ullr's Book. He didn't know if it was the real deal, he was scared.

"No," he admitted to me, "but it would be appreciated if you could feign positivity at my expense."

"That isn't going to change anything though," I whispered into the darkness.

"Raleigh," he growled.

"Are you more scared of staying here for good or the Other?"

"Raleigh," his voice was stern, warning.

"Both then," I nodded and let my hand drop to the space between his shoulders, rubbing his back gently. "You don't have to be scared, Loki," I told him. "It'll be okay."

He scoffed, burrowing closer, his arm pulling me in tighter to his body.

"Loki," I sighed softly, then reached out with my other hand, covering his free hand with my own and held it, "Odin would be a fool not to bring you home. You'll go back to Asgard, Book or no Book, and the Other will be taken care of."

He made a noise, which sounded like a scoff, but when he spoke his voice was feeble, "Tell me a story, Raleigh, something pointless."

I smiled slightly, continuing to rub his back, and then began to speak, "Do you want a Midgardian story or one about myself?"

"One about you," he mumbled, his voice thick. I sighed, opening my eyes and stared at him as he shifted around to look up at me in the darkness. I smiled at him and nodded, watching as he rested his head on my chest once again, pulling his hand away from mine to hold tight to my shirt.

"When I was little, shortly after my parents broke up, I told myself that I was adopted and made myself believe that." Loki made a noise, which I couldn't make out as either a laugh or disgust, and I frowned but continued on anyway, "I thought and I told myself that I had these great parents out there somewhere in the world who wanted me back and they were together and very happy with each other and would never break up. They'd come in the middle of the night, take me away from my fake parents, and never let me go again. They'd spoil me and I'd be happy. I wouldn't have to lose my mother or move or do any of that."

"That's a very stupid desire."

"I was five."

"Regardless."

"You're telling me you've never wanted for something simply because you were emotionally overwhelmed and hurt?" I asked, frowning. "I find that pretty hard to believe."

"You should though," he replied coolly, "I've never wanted for something stupid. Not once. I certainly never _wanted_ to be adopted."

"Are you done? Can I keep going?"

"If you must."

"You asked for this," I reminded him.

"I expected some regaling tale of your loss of virginity being a disaster or having been backstabbed by someone you were close to."

I rolled my eyes, sighing heavily, "Can we please quit it with the stupid obsession you have over me and my sex life? I've had sex with two guys if it's such a big deal to you. I get it, you like sex, that's apparently a big deal for you and that's what the books say, too. Are you happy? Two guys, that's it. It was okay, nothing special."

Loki lifted his head slightly, staring at me as his eyebrows quirked up, "Why?"

I stared at him, "It just wasn't, okay?" I shrugged. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"It ought to matter," he replied tartly, frowning slightly. "I should think that you might have sex with someone for pleasure as I've suggested. Why continue to do it if you gain nothing from it?"

"Why is it always personal gain?"

He pressed his lips into a thin line, "Because in the end we are left only with ourselves."

I looked at him, struck by the words, but remained on guard, "Is this some clever ploy to get me into bed?"

He laughed darkly, picking his head up from my chest and rolled onto his stomach, staring at me with narrowed eyes, "Even if it were, you've been easy enough in the past for men you care nothing for, what makes me so much different?"

I flushed red, sitting up to glare down at him, "I'm not easy. I'm nothing like those girls who are."

"Oh honestly, Raleigh," he spat, clearly on the verge of losing his temper. He sat up in bed, "You act prudish towards me and yet you are no better than those you look down upon. Do not act so self-righteous when you are little more than a wench. You've no morals to hide behind."

My hand shot out before I could even think and I'd slapped him across the face - hard. My hand seared as I pulled it back and he stared at me, shocked.

"The difference is that I don't like you or want you. I'm with you because I made a deal to bargain for some lives and because you dangle my life over my head," I told him angrily, cutting him off before he could try anything for my slap, "I want _nothing_ to do _with_ you, I want nothing _from_ you, I want to find your stupid book and for you to go away or kill me or whatever you have in mind!" I could hear my voice rising, but I carried on anyway, "But I don't want to sleep with you and I don't want you near me. Yeah, I have might have some skewed morals to you but don't you dare fault me for who I've had sex with in the past and don't you dare tell me I've nothing to hide behind when you're the one that kills innocents for _pleasure_."

I turned away from him, scowling, raging inside and lay down; I rolled onto my side, giving him my back. It was just like him to turn something that could have been meaningful into the sex subject yet again and it was just like him to do anything in his power to hurt me when I didn't immediately give him what he wanted.

I had no desire to talk to him about either Damian or James and no desire to revisit either experience. I'd at least felt some sort of love for James, but I had left New York shortly afterwards. Damian, on the other hand, had been a fling and a bad idea from the start, it had been pointless and I'd gotten hurt in the end which had thrown me out of the dating scene for the last several months; Brian had been my ticket back onto the horse, my first real pointless venture for fun and Loki had ruined that just like he ruined everything else.

He didn't need to know about either of them.

"Raleigh," his hand was gentle on my back and I remained turned away from him despite the tentative touch. "Raleigh, please."

"Sod off, Loki," I snapped over my shoulder. I pulled the blankets closer to my body, keeping myself at the furthest point on the bed while he sat beside me, his fingertips brushing gently on my back.

"I ask you not be angry with me," he murmured. I was silent, waiting for him to continue on with whatever excuse he had for this behavior. "Raleigh, you are the only Midgardian capable of understanding me - who has attempted to, please refrain from angering with me."

"Leave me alone," I muttered, "I'm sure there a bunch of other wenches out there who can understand you just fine."

"Raleigh," his voice was soft and he placed a hand on my arm gently, "don't. I've no quarrel with you, I only wish to know you."

I shrugged his hand away, "Goodnight."

I closed my eyes, slowing my breathing as he continued to prod me, his voice gradually becoming more pathetic as he lay down beside me and eventually he fell silent, his hand still on my back, his pointer finger tracing over the middle of my back gently until he had fallen asleep.


	7. Crossing Boundaries

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing beyond the plots and any OCs. All others belong to their respective creators and I have no desire to infringe upon them.

* * *

Chapter Seven: Crossing Boundaries

"Miss Alexander?"

I turned around with Jenny and stopped in the center of the courtyard, staring at the small woman who was striding towards us. I had no clue who she was, where she was from, and had never seen her before, but she clearly knew me. Jenny looked over at me with an arched eyebrow and I shook my head, confused as well.

The woman stopped in front of us, looking at me expectantly, "Are you Miss Raleigh Alexander?"

"I - yes," I nodded, looking over at Jenny nervously, "I am."

"Good," she nodded, "the Principal wishes to see you."

My mouth went dry and I looked over at Jenny as my eyes grew large before I returned to the old woman, "W-why? I haven't done anything wrong."

"I don't know, Miss Alexander, I'm only to retrieve you."

"I'll see you later," Jenny said, attempting to be confident, but I could hear it in her voice, the same apprehension that I had. I gave her a feeble smile and began to follow the old woman across the courtyard towards the administrative offices. The Principal was someone I had never met before, but I knew of him and I knew just what he was capable of doing. If he so chose, he could have me removed from King's in a heartbeat, my bags packed and my reputation in ruins. Kicked out of King's! There was something my mother would never forgive me for.

Even more though, why wasn't it just the Head of my College? Wouldn't that have made more sense? Surely whatever misunderstanding there had been couldn't have been so grave that it was worthy of a trip to the office of King's Principal. My heart pounded heavily in my chest as I follow the old woman around and through the halls, my mind reeling as I thought of what might happen in the next few minutes.

She was short, standing a head below me, and was round, with her long grey hair pulling back into a low bun. She wore half moon glasses which rested on the tip of her long, thin nose. She looked a little bit like a children's librarian that I had known many years ago in New York when my father had taken Ben and I for stories, but she lacked all of the warmth that Ms. Morris had had. It probably didn't help that this woman was the bearer of bad news though, for all I knew she could be very nice. The only thing keeping me from finding out, however, was the overwhelming feeling of nausea that was knotting itself in my stomach.

It couldn't be anything that serious, could it?

_Don't be an idiot, Raleigh, of course it's serious - it's the Principal!_

I folded my arms across my chest, tucking my clammy hands beneath my armpits as we came to a stop outside of the office door. I looked down at the little old woman and she pointed to the chair that sat beside the door.

"Sit there and wait for him to come for you, Miss Alexander. I'll let him know you've arrived."

I nodded, walking over to the seat as the old woman entered the office, nearly tripping over my own feet as I went and then sat down in the seat, burying my face in my hands. I was terrified. I hadn't done anything wrong that was worthy of disciplinary action like this, I'd never done anything wrong. I received good marks, I held a job in addition to my studies, I tried to volunteer my time for community service - what on earth could he want me in his office for? I was a perfectly good student.

Did it have to do with Brian?

Now?

Two months after the fact?

My stomach dropped at the idea. Had he fingered me for it? Said I brought the guy who started the fight? Was he pressing charges or something? Would I be removed for being involved?

I lifted my head as the door opened and the old woman emerged.

"You may go in now," she told me, leaving the door cracked as she toddled down the corridor towards her own office. I grabbed my bag, getting to my feet and slowly made my way into the office, my hands trembling uncontrollably as I pushed the door shut.

"Good morning, sir," I could hear the fear in my own voice - would that sound like guilt to him?

I watched as the Principal looked up from the file he had laid out on his desk and he stared at me for a few moments while I hovered by the door, nauseous and horrified.

"Miss Alexander, please take a seat."

He didn't sound like he was about to offer me a cup of tea or biscuit to calm my nerves, which definitely meant I was in deep shit. This wasn't to commend me for any good deed, this was to put my head on the chopping block.

I slowly approached the two chairs in front of his desk, sitting down on the edge of one and folded my hands in my lap. I could see my name and photo in the file and my stomach dropped even further. That was my personal file on his desk. He was going to shred it or burn it or throw it at me or something horrible.

I was done for.

"Sir," I tried nervously, "I'm really sorry but I don't know what I did wrong or why I'm here. I didn't mean to do it whatever it was and I swear whatever it was, was an honest mistake. I've got good marks and I've been volunteering and I work hard and help to run a local bookshop. I swear I haven't done anything wrong. Please don't kick me out."

He stared at me for a moment, then to my own horror he laughed. It was quiet at first but then grew a little louder as he leaned back in his seat and he shook his head at me. The _President_ of the school was laughing at me.

"Miss Alexander, this has nothing to do with your marks or your status as a student at King's."

"It _doesn't_?" I could feel my face grow hot as I flushed and I hung my head again, feeling incredibly foolish for the assumptions. "I'm sorry, sir, I just thought - because you're you and you can dismiss us from our studies that I'd done something wrong."

"Goodness no, Miss Alexander," he told me, still smiling in amusement, "Unless you have something that you're feeling guilty for of course?"

I shook my head quickly, "No, sir."

"I thought as much," he gestured to my record, "I was merely looking over your file because I wasn't aware of you changing your mode of study until just this morning."

"S-sorry?"

"Yes, I received a call in my box this morning from the director of an archaeological dig that you've signed on to assist over the holidays, that is correct isn't it?"

I stared at him in silence, my mind reeling. Archaeology? He wasn't going to put my head on the chopping block, my mother was.

"I'm sorry, I don't recall this dig I applied for," I told him, beginning to wonder just what was going on. I had a hunch as to just who had given him a ring this morning and if he confirmed it there would probably be a dead Norse god by the end of the day.

"Oh," he nodded, pulling close a paper that had been sitting on the corner of his desk which he passed to me. "It's quite the accomplishment, I must say. I wanted to congratulate you personally on achieving the opportunity especially as it is out of your immediate skill set."

I gave him a tight lipped smile, "Thank you, sir." I looked down at the paper, scanning over it curiously. It was about some kind of dig in Iceland, looking for old Norse artifacts, stuff to do with Norse mythology.

He was _dead_.

"Oh," I nodded, "I kind of remember now. I think my father told me to put myself up for this back in September. I had to write a paper about Norse mythology and submit a couple other things. I didn't expect to get it."

"Did they not contact you?" he frowned.

I hesitated for a moment before I shook my head, "You know, I probably got the email but I haven't checked my mailbox in a while. I'm sure it's in there."

Not that it mattered, I decided as I looked down to the signature at the end of the fax, I _lived_ with the head of the supposed dig. Loki's handwriting was a dead giveaway any time I saw it.

"You don't seem so excited," he remarked to me.

"I am!" I said quickly, before adding, "I'm just kind of overwhelmed. No one told me about what was happening here and I was so scared. This is really great though, I'm very fortunate."

"I'm sure you are," he smiled at me, continuing on, "I imagine that you'll make King's very proud while there. It's quite the honor to represent the community like this."

"Yeah," I nodded. "I'll be sure to."

I couldn't believe him. How could Loki think this was a good idea? What kind of idiot was he? Was he completely oblivious to the fact that this was _obviously_ fake and that King's would catch on sooner or later?

"Mr. Odinson did mention that you were considering changing your course from law to archaeology, is that true, Miss Alexander?"

I looked up at him and shrugged, "No final decisions have been made yet sir. I'll know after the holidays where I stand I imagine."

He nodded, closing my file and pushed it aside. He got to his feet and extended a hand to me as I stood. "Congratulations once again, Raleigh, you've done very well for yourself with this. Do make us proud. I'm sure your mother is delighted."

That was right, he knew my mother personally.

I smiled at him, nodding, "She'll be absolutely overjoyed," I assured him. "If you could just excuse me though, sir, I do have to go get ready. I hadn't realized after all and need to give my father a ring because I'm going to be forced to cancel our plans for Christmas."

"Of course," he nodded. "You have a lovely day, Miss Alexander. If you need anything you're more than welcome to stop in to ask for assistance. Joanna will direct you out then."

I nodded, picking my bag up and then headed for the door, shouldering my bag. I held tight to the strap as I turned and began to make my way down the hall, no longer interested in my classes but instead in finding and killing Loki in any manner possible. He'd just put my entire school career in jeopardy with this stunt. If it wasn't true, if they advertised it, what then? What would happen when this was debunked?

I hissed out an angry breath as I jogged down the hall towards the doors at the end of the corridor. There was never any consideration for me with him, was there? Not only had he sent me into a panic attack, possibly made me out to be a liar and hurt my academic reputation, but he also was going to force me to cancel on my holiday plans with my father, Ben, and Jenny. All so I could go to Iceland or something with him just so I could try digging around in the ground for the goddamn book.

It was probably rotting in a museum somewhere, nowhere he and I could _possibly_ retrieve it. What kind of idiot was he? What kind of idiot was I? This was all going to end in a train wreck, I was sure of it. I pushed the doors open, heading out into the cold and then began to make my way towards the road. He was probably sleeping at his flat still, which was fine because I had full intention to do nothing but wake and barrage him with insults and threats.

* * *

By the time I reached the flat, Loki was just emerging from the front doors, pulling on a long black coat, a knit green scarf wrapped snuggly around his neck. He nodded at me as I advanced upon him, my anger flaring as I came within striking distance and I struck out at him before I could even think.

"What were you thinking?!" I demanded of him angrily as I shoved him backwards. "You can't leave the country!"

He shrugged, buttoning his coat, and remained silent.

"Loki!" I shoved the paper in his face, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

He pushed my hand aside, giving me a disdainful look as some of the passerby stared, and adjusted his scarf as he spoke, "It was actually my idea of blackmail, Raleigh."

"Blackmail?" I echoed through clenched teeth. "Blackmail?!"

"Are you going to deny your school the opportunity to gloat about your achievements in the name of a _holiday_?" he asked me, sneering. "Your mother would be most pleased, I should think."

"I'm a _law_ student, Loki!" I shrieked. "I'm not an archaeology student! I don't do this sort of thing!"

He shrugged, "That is not of my concern. You managed to explain it away well enough didn't you? Now all you have to do is explain it away to your father."

I stared at him, furious. He was unbelievable, horrid, I wanted nothing to do with him.

"I'm not going," I told him, shoving the paper at him. "I'm going home to Manhattan for Christmas just like I planned."

He stared at me, his eyes narrowing as I turned, heading inside the building. He followed me inside, darting up the stairs after me whereupon he seized my arm and swung me around, shoving me back against the wall.

"What would possess you to do something so stupid?"

"Because I'm not like you," I told him hotly, "I don't care about power or my reputation or anything else. I love my father and I haven't seen him in months. I'm going home because he's what matters to me. I'm going to spend my holidays with my family and friends, not with you looking for some stupid artifact that might not even be there."

He stared at me, the look on his face a mixture of disgust and anger, but did not release my arm. He'd been a bit more _timid_ with me since the night I'd told him off for trying to shame me about sex, if that was the right word. I didn't know if it was possible for Loki to be _timid_. I stayed put, firmly rooted to the small landing as Loki stood close, clearly trying to formulate some kind of argument against me.

"You're a fool," he told me finally, his hand dropping away from my arm.

I turned, beginning to climb the stairs once more and Loki followed again, unbuttoning his coat. I pulled the key to the flat from my pocket as I neared our floor and looked over my shoulder at Loki, who was still lost in thought, trying to think up some way for me to go to Iceland rather than Manhattan I was sure.

I reached our door, slid the key into the lock, and turned the knob, making my way inside of the flat. Loki had actually done a decent job of having it furnished, although I was pretty sure Ikea just went to town on the place and did as they pleased, though I had no clue if it was Ikea or another place that had done the work. Whatever the case, I made for one of the plush chairs in the living area of the flat, shrugging off my coat and began to peel away the layers of clothing before I finally collapsed into the seat, wearing the thin undershirt I'd had on beneath my jumper.

Loki hovered at the end of the room, his brow furrowed as he stared at me, watching as I began to slip off my boots, and I glanced up at him expectantly. The fight wasn't over, he was plotting just like always, because this was going to turn into the Third World War if he could help it. He would do anything in his power to ensure that I went along to find Ullr's book.

Yet when he spoke, it was far from confrontational, "And what shall I do for the holiday?"

I looked up at him, surprised to see that his face was twisted, hurt. I ignored the unsettled feelings the look brought upon me, certain that it was a ploy. He didn't think anything of "Midgardian festivals" or whatever it was he called Christmas.

"I'm sure you could find something to do," I told him, setting my boots aside. I looked back at him, "Bet there are plenty of girls you could spend the holiday with."

He ignored the jab, his eyes locked on mine, "You don't want me to spend this Christmas with you?"

He wouldn't guilt me, he wouldn't. I wouldn't let him.

"Not particularly," I told him. "Besides, you can't get out of the UK legally. You don't have a passport; come to think of it, you don't have any valid form of identification."

He seemed to shrink a little at the charge, "I see," he murmured, "I thought you might like to spend your holiday away from things with me but I can see that I was mistaken."

I leaned back in the chair, slumped down in the seat, and frowned at him, "You can stop being overdramatic now, Loki. I told you to bugger off a week ago. I'm sure your ego's impenetrable shield has managed to clean up whatever dent that left."

He scowled at me. "Am I not supposed to attempt to be kind? I understood that to be the point of this holiday. You made it sound as though all were supposed to attempt to be generous."

I glared at him, "Loki, don't hide behind Christmas spirit. You did this for yourself, not for me, not for us, not for anyone but yourself."

"Then why can't I go with you to Manhattan if you so desire it?"

"Because you need a valid form of ID to get a passport which is the only way you can get across the border," I snapped at him irritably, "and besides, you've done nothing to conceal your identity as Loki Odinson - Nick Fury would pounce on you as soon as you were off the plane. I'm not interested in being accused of terrorism."

He looked down, first at the paper and then raised his eyes to my face, before he dropped his gaze to the floor again. He was quiet for some time before I finally realized that I had indeed hurt him this time. It wasn't something I'd anticipated and I didn't know how to deal with it. I hadn't thought about it all that much, but Loki didn't do much without me and I didn't do much without him anymore. If he wanted to go out, he demanded that I come along, if I was going somewhere he immediately tagged along whether I wanted him there or not.

It wasn't an affection thing, it was a matter of possession for him really. He'd made it rather clear to me that dating and bringing Midgardian men back to his flat was entirely out of the question. Whatever the case though, possession or affection, he was hurt by me saying I didn't want to be with him for Christmas.

"Why?" he finally asked me.

God the guilt - I could feel it welling up inside of me as he stared at me, his eyes large and full of emotion. It was one of the fleeting vulnerable moments I sometimes saw. I didn't know where they came from, in fact I was pretty sure he was bipolar with the way his mood would do a complete turnaround in seconds, but they sometimes happened and he was gentle and timid rather than demanding and domineering.

I could feel guilty about saying no to the Loki that liked cuddling with me in bed when he was scared, to the Loki that was soft spoken and gentle, that allowed me to sit close and explain Midgardian pastimes without passing judgment. I couldn't hate that Loki, the one who showed up occasionally and made me think he was trying to be decent and to keep the peace. I had no problem hating the other one that only cared about himself and power and Ullr's Book, but this one was different. This Loki and his emotions and fears were strong enough to rip my heart out.

"Because," I told him, shrugging, trying to remain aloof. "I don't want you there."

He was quiet, nodding, and then began to button his coat once more, "I understand," he told me. "I trust that you will be here when I return?"

I was silent and he nodded, understanding the answer. I remained in the chair as he left and only when I heard the door click shut did I deflate in the chair, covering my face with one hand. It wasn't fair that he could make me feel like this, that he could upset me so easily when he was hurt by something I'd done in response to his selfish antics. It bordered on emotionally abusive, I knew that, but it didn't lessen my guilt any.

Loki wasn't some human man who understood emotionally abusive relationships, that would be able to change for me if I boohooed it enough, he didn't understand our conventions or my emotions or anything that related to dealing with other people on an emotional level. He'd seemed positively repulsed when Jenny's little cousin who was less than four years old had latched herself to his leg in a hug, yet he'd managed to figure it out eventually and to my own surprise he turned out to be great with the kid. He still hated humans, I knew that, but he had moments where I could see him genuinely trying to be different, trying to be good about things.

Whatever the case, I knew there were things that he wasn't telling me, he seemed addled at times, like he really did have something going on mentally that I couldn't place and couldn't understand. But he wouldn't tell me if there had been something which made him so...volatile. The daddy issues were one thing, but this seemed totally different, like he'd been through Hell and back but I still had no clue as to what he really had gone through at the hands of the Other and Thanos, I couldn't imagine Asgard having done anything that serious to one of its own Princes.

Regardless, I was certain that Loki really was hurt by the idea of me refusing the holiday with him, refusing him and his company, and then saying I didn't want him there. In retrospect it seemed a little mean even to me, he hadn't been mean, he'd been stupid. Of course, he was now probably out there thinking that I was a stupid, foolish, naive Midgardian woman, and I couldn't help but think that maybe he was right for once.

Loki finally returned to the flat around midnight, smelling of alcohol and cheap cologne, and he barely managed to walk to the sofa before he collapsed, grumbling something about the alcohol on Earth being much different than on Asgard.

I got up from the table, leaving my books behind and slowly approached the sofa, watching as he fumbled with the buttons of his coat and scarf. I smiled ruefully, sitting down on the coffee table and leaned across the small gap between us, unbuttoning what he hadn't been able to. He watched me in silence, his eyes hooded, glassy from the alcohol. I finished with his coat and began to pull it away from his body, unable to help feeling just a little amused at him having spent the day out drinking or doing whatever he had.

"Raleigh," he mumbled as I pulled him into a sitting position to tug his coat out from beneath his body at last.

"Yes?"

He hesitated a moment, as if struggling with himself to find the words, before he finally carried on, "You've very nice eyes," he told me, his voice slurring around the words, "and I like kissing you and touching you. You're too kind to me and I do not understand why, for I'm a monster. But," he hesitated again before he plucked up the courage to continue, "might we spend the holiday together?"

I reached out, touching his face gently, brushing my fingers over his cheek. He had to have practiced that, had to have thought it sounded like something I'd go for, and I had to give him credit for it.

"You're not going to remember this in the morning," I told him quietly.

He took my hand, holding it tightly, "I will," he assured me, his voice thick, "I will because I think it every time I look at you."

I stared at him. I hadn't expected that. It was horrible that he only said these things when he was shit-faced drunk, that he slurred the words, that he smelled like a pimp, but it was perhaps the most horrible thing to realize that he meant every word of it and was waiting, hopeful.

"I called my dad earlier and cancelled," I told him, truthful. I had called home shortly after he left, told my father as much as I could manage and agreed that I would come home for part of the summer if getting there any sooner wasn't possible. "Looks like it's just going to be us, anywhere in the world we want to go - well, anywhere in the entire United Kingdom that we want to go."

"Mm," he smiled, "thank you, kjære." Loki fell back on the sofa and released my hand, allowing me to untie his scarf. I got up, leaving him for a few minutes while I hung both up in the hall closet and then returned, pulling a blanket out from the bottom drawer of one of the shelves. I walked back over to the sofa, throwing the blanket over him as he curled up, his eyes closing as he drifted towards sleep.

Leaning down, I pressed my lips to his temple and smoothed his hair, half wondering what the word he'd called me meant.

"Goodnight, Loki," I whispered in his ear.

He made a soft noise in response, but he was practically asleep by then and I hadn't the heart to prod him awake. Instead, I straightened, leaving him on the sofa and then returned to the table, gathering my books up. I left them in a pile on the corner of the table, then picked up the book of Norse mythology, deciding that I may as well study a bit of the book to see if there were any clues as to where Ullr's Book was hiding.

I spared a glance over my shoulder at him on the sofa as I approached the light switch, smiling softly at the sight of him sleeping, peaceful, innocent, and then cut the lights, making my way through the darkness towards bed.

* * *

Loki looked out the train window with wide, curious eyes as the countryside rushed past. He glanced over his shoulder at me as I reclined in my seat, watching him as he took in the sights. He shrugged his shoulders, his face clouding over with disgust.

"Asgard has far greater expanses of land than this," he told me, his voice sour.

I raised my eyebrows, nodding in reply. He could play uninterested all he wanted, but he was beside himself and giddy over getting to travel outside of London again. He liked traveling, he found it alluring from what I could tell, and I wasn't all that surprised given that he had made such a habit of traveling to the different parts of the multiverse. It did surprise me that he found Earth so enjoyable though, especially since he constantly was complaining that humans were undeserving and worthless.

He turned back to the passing landscape, watching curiously as it continued to whizz by. I returned to the book of Norse mythology. It was a vain pursuit if I was to be honest about the whole thing but it really didn't matter much as far as I could tell. I'd just ended up learning all the various tidbits and things that had been put down mistakenly by the Scandinavians. Loki had dismissed most of it and laughed at some of the points I'd brought up, but I could tell that they'd at least gotten his personality rather spot on by the looks of things.

"Did you ever consider reading this?" I asked him curiously. He scoffed, sparing me a glance before he looked away once again. I frowned, "You know, it says in here that you spent some time as a horse and had an eight legged foal."

He made a noise, which I couldn't place as either amusement or disgust and he cast me a sidelong glance, "Do I look like I've just given birth to a horse?"

"I hear breast feeding does wonders."

He snorted, looking away, "If I were to have a child it would, by no means, be a horse."

"Also says you had a wolf and a snake, any comments on those?"

"Why all this talk of pregnancy, Raleigh? I only want to engage in coitus with you, I've no desire to impregnate you. You're hardly fit to bear my offspring."

I pursed my lips at him but ignored the dig, "So you do want kids then?"

He was silent for a few moments, musing my question, "I have made no final judgment on the subject. Though I should imagine I will need to produce an heir to the throne at some point."

I nodded slowly, "And what kind of woman would be fit for your children?" I asked him, unable to help my curiosity.

"As I have already said, not you."

I rolled my eyes and shut the book, "I'm devastated, Loki, really, don't let my face fool you," I told him giving him a dirty look, "carrying around your child doesn't sound like a walk in the park anyway."

"It's impossible for your people to bear our children, but beyond that you're unfit physically. You're far too weak to bear children."

I looked over at him, "I'll keep that in mind the next time I get my period which begs to differ with you."

He snorted. "Your body chemistry can fool you all it likes, you've little muscle to spare and regardless of your Midgardian fables, your kind cannot bear the children of my own. It would destroy you - you're simply too weak. You're fit to breed with your own ilk just like a dog."

"Dogs crossbreed," I reminded him.

He looked at me, "Truly, Raleigh, why so interested? You have no desire to consummate a relationship with me yet you wonder a great deal about my desire for children."

"Well, I figure if someone ever proved you wrong about the whole human thing I'd probably be the first one you tried. After all, I'm usually your guinea pig, but apparently I haven't got enough muscle for you."

He smirked, "You shouldn't flatter yourself, Raleigh. When I rule your planet I will have my pick of Midgardian women who are far more beautiful than you."

It stung a little, hearing that I was second rate to him, but I kept my face straight, looking back down at my book, "And did you ever find an Asgardian woman worthy of your spawn?" I asked.

Loki was silent and when I lifted my gaze to his face his jaw was set, eyes narrowed.

He had.

Oh dear, I hadn't anticipated that.

"Read your book," he told me, his voice steely, no longer mocking.

"I don't feel like reading," I muttered, without thinking.

"Then go back to sleep," he snapped irritably. "I've no desire to discuss this with you."

He turned away from me before I could reply and I deflated slightly, turning my back to him as I curled up in the seat. He had actually loved an Asgardian woman, wanted a life with someone, perhaps he'd even tried to make a life with her before all of this, but it hadn't ended well. So now I was filler, second tier entertainment. It explained a lot when I thought about it but it didn't make things between he and I any easier. On the contrary it only exacerbated the strange relationship we had with each other. I was once again put into my position of accompanying him only because it was absolutely necessary, not because he thought me worthy of him.

I closed my eyes, pressing a little closer to the seat and gradually sank into sleep, welcoming any relief it might release upon me.

_Loki sat beside me at a table, the book of mythology set in front of us and he leaned over it, one arm wrapped behind me, his hand braced against the back of the chair. "Look," he murmured, gesturing to the strange symbols on a page I'd never seen before. "It's a map."_

_"You understand this?" I asked, shocked._

_"Yes," Loki nodded. "We learnt this language on Asgard when I was a child. My - Frigga taught us."_

_"Your mother."_

_"Thor's mother," he said, voice terse, before he added, "These are instructions, they can tell us how to find the Ullr's Book."_

_"I thought it was a map, Loki."_

_"Little difference here, it's essentially going to lead us like a map," he replied, sparing a glance around our table before he moved to rip the page from the book and I grabbed his wrist, stopping him from continuing on. "What?" he demanded, exasperated._

_"Loki, you can't!" I gaped at him. "You'll a priceless antique!"_

_"Yes, tragic," he snapped at me irritably. "I'm sure that in the long run no one will miss a page of cipher runes that only your ancient Norsemen and Asgardians understand."_

_I pursed my lips at him, then shut the book and placed it in my satchel for safe keeping. "Are you seriously hoping to find the book with this guide thing?" _

_He looked down at me as we stood and began to make our way towards the door, "It's all we have right now, so in truth I am forced to believe it's my only hope."_

When I opened my eyes my head was resting in Loki's lap. He had one hand resting upon my arm, the other was near my head for I could feel his fingers sifting through my hair gently. He was humming, which was a far nicer sound than I'd anticipated. I remained still, quiet, listening to the melody as he carried on.

It was a strange tune, slow and rich, his humming deep, but there was a sweetness to it I couldn't place. I half closed my eyes, listening to him as he pulled his fingers through my hair, his long fingers supple, gentle on my scalp.

What a strange dream that had been... Symbols that made a map? What good would that do? It was pointless, a pointless dream that would only get my hopes up and annoy Loki if I told him.

"That's a very nice song," someone said from across the compartment suddenly. "What is it?" she asked him; she sounded older, a little on the elderly side.

"It hasn't any name," Loki's voice was far from scathing, on the contrary he actually sounded pleasant. His fingers continued to massage my scalp as he toyed with my hair and I had to wonder if I was still asleep. "It's an old lullaby my mother sang to me as a child. I believe she composed it herself."

"It's very beautiful," the old woman remarked. "Your mother is quite the talent."

"Thank you," Loki murmured before returning to his humming. I could vaguely hear the sound of the conductor over the intercom, announcing that we were close to the end of the ride.

We would slow soon and Loki would wait until everyone else was gone before shoving me off unceremoniously. We'd decided on Wales for the holidays if only because of the language. it was also closer than Ireland and less of a hassle on short notice to reach. Thankfully, there were a few libraries and museums with Viking relics and that would be enough to satisfy him for a little while.

* * *

The cottage was picturesque.

It was set upon a few acres of open land, surrounded by woods with a large garden sprawled out behind it, no doubt even more stunning when it was in full bloom. The pond in the distance was frosted over, solid ice, and as Loki pulled our bags from the trunk I smiled, seeing plumes of smoke rising from the chimney. It was solid stone with a handful of windows that allowed me a glimpse into what I'd already seen as being an inviting, warm inside.

The main house was set a good distance away, down a winding dirt path and sat comfortably, looking over the small holiday cottage on the far side of the property. It was a beautiful home, classic, stone, the architecture phenomenal.

"Are you tired?" he asked me curiously as we headed up the small path. I took my bag from him and carried it along as we fell into a stride beside one another.

"No," I shook my head, unable to stop grinning. When he'd begun planning the holidays with me, I'd begged him to take me to a home like this. He'd been hellbent upon a large, fancy hotel in one of the cities while I'd whined and pleaded with him for hours to spend it in the countryside because I was sick of the city. I hadn't expected this, though.

"The owners were very friendly," he told me, "they're under the impression that you and I are dating, mind." He chuckled, adding, "They said the key would be on the mat in an envelope as they've no desire to disturb us."

I nodded, glimpsing the standard letter envelope where it lay on the doormat. "Will we be meeting them?"

"I'd prefer not to," he sniffed, "you do know how I like other mortals."

I rolled my eyes, "You need to get over your aversion to the human race, Loki," I half-taunted, picking up the envelope. I pulled it open to fish out the key; finding it, I slid it into the lock, turned the knob, and pushed open the door to the cottage.

"My aversion to the human race is well deserved," he murmured, removing the key before he pushed the door closed behind himself. He locked it, watching as I looked around at the high ceilings and the pine floors, admiring the woodwork and the exposed beams that ran across the ceiling, spotlight angled to catch the right features of the house, dimmed to allow the majority of the cottage's light to come from the large stove fireplace. "You have proven to be the only exception to my dislike of your rather disgusting race."

I ignored him, dropping the bag, and walked around the cottage, inspecting the kitchen eagerly and examining the furniture, noting the little details and committing them all to memory. I darted up the small flight of stairs to the lofted upstairs, letting out a soft cry of surprise as I found the bedroom, complete with a king-sized bed that already had been made up with fluffy quilts and a hand sewn duvet.

A small window with a candle set in it overlooked what I was sure to be the garden and as I turned again, looking around the room curiously, I found a small Christmas tree set in the corner, covered with antique ornaments and garland, a star adorning the top.

I couldn't believe this. I couldn't stop myself from smiling and turned to look down at Loki over the rail.

He stared up at me, curious. "Do you like it?" he asked me.

I chewed on my lip, then made my way back down the steps and made a beeline for him, throwing my arms around his neck in a hug. "Loki, it's perfect. Entirely unnecessary but perfect."

He pulled me in close, his arms wrapping around me, "I believe this is how your kind say Merry Christmas?"

I pulled back, touching his face gently, "Thank you, Loki. You don't know how much this means to me." He smiled, brushing a stray hair away from my face, "Loki," I murmured, "Why did you do this?"

He shrugged, pulling away from me, and then picked up our bags, carrying them upstairs to our room. I stared after him, then smiled, walking over to the sofa and settled myself down on the cushions, turning on the television.

"Tomorrow morning we'll begin our search then?" Loki asked as he trotted back down the stairwell.

I looked up at him, my lips turning down slightly as he brought up Ullr's Book. I'd almost forgotten that the damn thing was the entire reason we were here, in fact it was probably the only reason why Loki was being half decent.

"We could wait a little while," I told him. "Enjoy the holiday."

He scoffed. "You can enjoy your holiday all you like, but we've business to attend to. You did bring the list of museums didn't you?"

"Of course I did, Loki," I replied tartly. "But we can relax a little, can't we?"

"Relax?" he scoffed. "Relaxing may be easy for you, your life isn't in constant jeopardy, Raleigh."

I muted the television and angled myself towards him, scowling, "Did you really just say that?" I asked him, my voice dropping. "My life _isn't_ in danger? Safe? Me? You sit around talking to me about just how you plan to murder me when this is all said and done with - how exactly is my life not in jeopardy? Because by the sounds of it, my life is in jeopardy every way I look at the situation."

Loki rolled his eyes, pacing across the cottage to stand closer to me. "Must you always make this about yourself?" he asked me, his voice bitter. "It's hardly worth mentioning the fact that I've gone above and beyond to keep you alive as it stands already. As I've told you and attempted to make explicitly clear already, you can barely care for your own safety and you ought to be grateful that I plan to end you swiftly and painlessly."

"I do not make this about myself," I hissed angrily. "You're the one who sits around moaning about how the monsters are going to get us, how Thanos will kill you and me and everyone else, how you failed and are marked for death - I do all the work that you should be doing!"

Loki's eyes narrowed, "Do you ever just shut up?" he snarled at me. "You are such an annoying, petulant, ignorant little human. You know nothing of what I have done."

I got to my feet, scoffing, "Yeah, I'm sorry, I forgot. You somehow acquired a vast sum of money that you've been splurging on a nice flat and this holiday and you tried to hoodwink the head disciplinary officer of my school which I can only assume you did by magic, and you've also been entirely controlling, selfish, domineering, and cruel ninety-five percent of the time! But really, none of that matters because regardless I still end up dead. If you win, I'm dead, if you lose I'm dead. And between the two it looks to me like you're going to wind up losing, just like last time. Old Thor sure has an edge on you in the winning department, doesn't he?"

Before I could even register how it happened, I was being slammed against the wall of the cottage, Loki's hand wrapped tightly around my neck, his fingers digging into my throat, "_Shut up!_" he spat at me angrily, his eyes flashing. "That is enough! You will not speak to me this way! I am a King!"

I glared at him and despite the terror that was burrowed deep within me at being in this position - at having him poised to rip my throat out right here in a moment's time - I carried on.

"You're not a King, you're a reject, they kicked you out of Asgard. You're no King to them and just like everything else in your life you brought it upon yourself."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" he bellowed, his other hand striking the wall angrily. I jumped slightly, scared by the outburst. "YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THIS PAIN! YOU UNDERSTAND NONE OF IT, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW IT. I AM A KING, THE WORTHY SON, AND I HAVE BEEN BURDENED WITH A PURPOSE AND PAIN THAT YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND!"

My voice quivered when I spoke, "If that's really the case then how come Thor's always besting you? He'll be a great King, you won't ever see the crown."

His eyes glinted and he looked away from me, his hand releasing my throat, "You dare to use that?" he asked me, his eyes locking on my own, "You dare to use Thor against me? How dare you!" he slammed both hands against the wall now and I found myself cowering with fear under his gaze, my heart racing in my chest as I stared up at him. "You will find Ullr's Book for me," he growled, "and you will bring it to me and I shall show you just what I am capable of. You think you know fear now?" he hissed at me, his nose only inches from my own now as he leaned in, "For this I will be your undoing, you shall have no mercy from me."

He pulled away, spinning on his heel, and made for the door.

"Where are you going?" I tried, taking a few steps forward.

"For a walk to ensure I don't rip your head off," he spat over his shoulder as he wrenched the door open. He slammed it shut behind himself before I could formulate a response and I remained rooted where I stood, half wondering if he'd really meant it. I couldn't have actually provoked him that much, could I? To where he really wanted to kill me?

I swallowed a lump that had been steadily rising in my throat, slowly sinking down to the floor of the cottage and looked around, feeling absolutely miserable. Was I wrong? Should I have just been quiet about things and let him carry on with his melodrama? The more I thought about it the more I couldn't help but feel that I _was _wrong, that I _was _being unfair to Loki; ever since his pestering me in bed I'd been cold and shooting callous remarks in his direction - even when he was nice.

What was happening to me?

What was happening to this whole situation?

I liked him, I wanted him, I enjoyed his company, and yet there was a part of me that hated him and had no understanding of him at all, that didn't bother to try knowing him. It was entirely miserable, feeling so conflicted over him, wondering what to do with myself, wondering what to do with him. I didn't want to open myself up to him out of fear, fear that he would use me to his own advantage, that he'd just use me as a plaything, toy with me, and hurt me when he'd tired of pulling my strings. But it wasn't right of me was it?

I looked around the cottage again, feeling worse and worse with every passing moment. He'd done _this_ for me. And what did I do? I snarked and barked at him, I didn't bother to take into account anything he wanted, and yet I called him selfish. I accused him of being selfish and cruel and countless other things on a regular basis, but what if I was just the same? More than that, what if it was the other way around? What if I was the selfish, cruel one?

He'd spoken of pain, things I wouldn't understand, that I didn't know and I wondered just what he spoke of, if it was to do with Odin or something more that he never told me. I couldn't help but think that I was being cruel, that I was losing patience with someone who couldn't help himself, that I was being cold and snarky with someone who was so desperate to have a friend, to have a love of any sort, and I felt horribly ashamed.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, guilt beginning to get the better of me and buried my face in my hands. I was nearly positive that I hated him, but far more than anyone else I was certain that I hated myself and what I had involved myself in.

* * *

A/N: Quick things if you're questioning some content here.

First of all, King's does run using a Principal. My Beta Reader asked me that question while proofing and I explained it to her just as I am explaining to you. The Dean of King's is there for spiritual advancement; he is a Reverend. The President/Principal is the head of academic affairs and the office does hold the power to dismiss a student by way of disciplinary action. If you'd like a further dissertation on it, check King's website. It'll tell you plenty.

And secondly, the word "kjære."

**Kjære**, should you be curious, is a Norwegian word that translates to "dear." It also has been translated to "sweetheart" (Thanks, Google and Various Language forums!) and can, when written as **Min kjæreste **be considered "my dearest." It's pronounced with an "sh" sound. If I'm pronouncing it right myself (the closest I get to Nordic languages would be bits of Russian and German) it's "sharda."


	8. Change in Heart

**Disclaimer: **I own little to nothing here; anything original is mine, the rest belongs to Marvel and the respective creators.

_After spending a good two weeks writing out these last two chapters, I'm back to where I was before and will be on hiatus again until I get another round of them done. However, I wanted to share this one as I'll be busy for the next week or so with personal events and really wanted to get this one up. Thanks for the kind words regarding all of it once again and here's hoping that you've enjoy this one as it was one of my favourite chapters to write._

* * *

Chapter Eight: Change in Heart

I pulled a mug from the cupboard the next morning, slowly descending from my tiptoes as I removed the kettle from the stove and set the mug down on the counter. I poured myself a bit of hot water, glancing out the kitchen window to see if Loki was making his way back yet. Despite his being raised a Prince giving him a sense of entitlement and prompting temper tantrums whenever things didn't go his way, this one hadn't been entirely unfounded. It had been partly my own fault that he'd stormed out and been gone for the night.

I set the kettle down, picking up a box of tea that I'd found in one of cabinets and pulled out one of the satchels, dropping it into the mug. While it steeped, I glanced around the small cottage and sighed heavily. It wasn't like Loki to not come back after he'd cooled down. I didn't want to admit it but I was beginning to grow worried; I had stayed up all night with the intention of apologizing to him and yet he never returned. If there was one thing Loki made a point to do, it was to come home to sleep. No matter how much we fought he always came back for the night.

I sighed softly, thinking guiltily of how I'd snooped through his things and found a copy of a book that I'd been wanting to buy for myself. It had only made me feel like a bigger ass than before since I hadn't even considered buying Loki a Christmas present. He'd spent days on end making fun of the holiday and gift giving and yet he was the one that had been giving and giving this entire damned season.

I pulled the teabag out of the water, flinging it into the waste bin and leaned against the counter, wondering when he would finally show back up. I picked up the mug, staring out at the path leading away from the house, positive that he must've taken the trail the previous afternoon. The sun was just starting to rise over the trees, illuminating the property for the first time; the rain that had fallen throughout the day before had eventually stopped around three in the morning but there was a light fog outside as the sun began to peek through the treetops. I took a long sip of the tea, then set down the mug, continuing to stare at the tree line in the distance.

It looked like there was something moving far off and I frowned deeply, picking the mug back up. I walked over to the coat rack, pulling my jacket on, and slowly opened the cottage's door, stepping out into the cold morning air for the first time. Shielding my eyes to the sun with my free hand, I squinted, attempting to make out the figure that was slowly emerging from the woods, gradually dragging itself from the forest.

It looked like it was limping, like a limping man... As the realization of just who it was dawned upon me, I felt a wave of nausea hit, guilt rising within me. I practically threw the mug down as the figure crumpled to the ground, leaping from the back steps of the cottage to run across the frost covered lawn.

I dropped to my knees beside Loki as I reached him, rolling him over, panic flooding through me as I caught sight of the blood soaking through his shirt and leaking from a tear in his trousers. "Loki," I whispered frantically, "Loki, please wake up, please."

His eyes opened slightly and his face softened, one of his hands taking mine. I let out a soft cry, choked, and gripped his hand tightly.

"We've got to get you to a hospital," I whispered to him, pushing some of his hair back, "What on earth -"

"No," he rasped at me, shaking his head, "no hospital." His face twisted into a grimace as I began to pull him up slowly, "I won't."

"Loki, don't be stupid, you're hurt," I argued, "you need to go to a hospital."

"No," he shook his head slowly, letting out a soft groan as he stopped. I could see a slow trickle of blood sliding down the side of his face, leaking from somewhere beneath his raven locks. I gaped at him, unsure of whether I should leave him to run to the main house and ask them to call in the emergency or not, and slowly pushed aside some of his hair, looking for the wound.

"Loki, what on earth happened?" I breathed, heart hammering loudly in my ears, pounding against my chest as I found the gash with my fingers. I could feel his blood on my fingers as I touched the wound nervously, sticky. He let out a low hiss of a breath, his hand tightening on mine while he slumped forward, his forehead cradled against the crook of my neck while he gasped in slow, shallow breaths.

"You can fix it," he mumbled to me, "no hospitals."

"Loki, I _can't_," I told him, pulling his hair back from the cut. It wasn't large, maybe two inches at most, but it looked like he'd been smashed in the head with a rock or clawed at. "I don't know how to fix this, I just know basic stuff. You could have a concussion or brain damage or a bleed and your organs might be damaged or you could've broken something," I rambled.

"You can," he told me, his teeth gritting together as I slowly began to pull him up, my legs braced tightly as I pushed the two of us off the cold ground. He leaned against me, his body heavy on mine and I staggered as we stood together, but then wrapped my arms around him, throwing my right leg out behind myself for support against his weight. He wasn't putting his left leg down entirely, his foot was just barely touching the ground and so his right leg and I bore his weight in full.

"Loki," I shook my head at him as he lifted his head slightly, "Loki, no, you need stitches and real medical attention, not me. I can fix little things, little bumps and bruises, I can't."

"You can," he repeated himself, he fell silent for a moment as he moved to take a step forward, his face twisting with pain as he moved, he let out a gasp, closing his eyes as his left leg took his weight for the first time. "I will try to help," he carried on as I wrapped my arm around his waist, hand tight on his hip and, with my other, kept a firm grip on his own as he let his arm fall around my shoulders.

"Loki, _please_," I begged him quietly as I began to help him towards the house. "Please let me call them, they'll help you better than I can."

"No," he refused again, "Raleigh, please, I beg of you. It is better this way, safer," he stopped, panting, and clung to me as he slumped again. I managed to brace myself just in time as he leaned against me, his body weakening rapidly, and held him up as he balanced precariously, his breathing labored.

"Loki," I shook my head as he gradually pulled away again and began to struggle towards the cottage, "what's going on?" I whispered to him.

"The chitauri..." he managed to get out, though it was clearly taking effort on his part, "the chitauri have -" he broke off, grimacing as we stumbled slightly on a bump in the earth and nearly toppled over. Catching my balance at the last moment, I propped him up, muscles screaming in protest against the act as he began to fall against me for a third time. His lips hovering close to my ear, he whispered, "The chitauri have found me, they have found us, they've done this."

* * *

Loki let out a sharp hiss of pain as I pressed the rag to his chest and I glanced up at him, frowning.

"Stop whining," I murmured, "it isn't that bad."

He snorted, closing his eyes as he rested his head on the sofa's cushions again, his face pained as I slowly rubbed the alcohol over the skin surrounding the wounds on his chest. Despite having fronted a very calm exterior to him, I was a mess inside. Within my head there was little else beside chaos and fear raging, speeding around violent theories that all resulted in the two of us being slaughtered by chitauri at any given moment.

Loki had been drifting in and out of consciousness ever since I'd dragged him over the threshold of the cottage and nearly collapsed beneath his weight. I was grateful for the fact that he'd managed to limp over to the sofa by himself, using me as a crutch only to steady himself occasionally, and he had since stayed on the cushions, his head resting on a pillow. He'd been out cold while I evaluated the wounds for the first time and, despite my better judgment, placed a tourniquet on his leg; he'd flickered in and out while I'd tended to his head wound and sought out medical supplies and makeshift tools but he'd finally woken and had been fully conscious for the last half hour.

On the brighter side of things, his head wound had turned out to be rather shallow, though that hadn't stopped me from pouring a few extra douses of salt water on it for good measure when he'd tried to shove me away upon waking. His chest was a different story entirely as there were several long scratches extending across his torso, down to his middle; his tattered, blood stained shirt was lying in a heap on the floor with his shoes, socks, and coat. I'd left his trousers alone for the time being and found a warm fleece blanket in one of the closets that I had draped over his lower half in the meantime.

His skin had a slightly bluish tinge to it, which I figured had to do with his feeling so weak from the encounter he'd had with the chitauri; it also probably was part of his absolute refusal to go to the hospital. It was bad enough that _I _was seeing him flickering between Asgardian and Jotun, but it would be far worse if someone else were to see him as there was no explaining the whole situation away. I dabbed the alcohol gently over some of the blood stained skin of his stomach, rubbing the dead and torn skin away gradually.

I glanced down at his legs where they were hidden beneath the blanket, "Are you keeping pressure on it?" I asked him, referring to the cut on his leg that had still been steadily leaking blood when we'd gotten into the cottage. When he had woken up, I'd quickly removed the tourniquet and forced him to press a bundle of rags to the wound instead, refusing his protests with sharp remarks about losing limbs.

"Yes, Raleigh," he muttered, his voice quiet, controlled.

He was in pain, I knew that. I'd tried to force tea down his throat for a while, but eventually gave up when I realized he would rather suffer than drink anything for comfort but the peppermint tea he had back at the flat. I gave him a small smile as I tossed the alcohol soaked rag down on the floor, finished with it, and began to wipe his chest with a warm, wet cloth that had been soaking in a bowl of fresh water.

Loki let out a soft moan as I rubbed over the wounds, his eyes closing as his face scrunched up in pain and I immediately paused, waiting for him to give me permission to carry on. He nodded, keeping his eyes shut tightly, and I began to clean the cuts slowly, steadily bringing the cloth down over his chest. The more I looked at the wounds, the scarier it became to realize that he could have died from the injuries he'd sustained had he not healed himself just enough to escape from the forest.

"Could you heal yourself anymore?" I asked nervously, pulling the cloth away to rinse it before I soaked it full of fresh water.

"Possibly," he murmured, opening one eye to watch as I began to dab at the long, ropey cut that slid over his stomach. "Though, I must rest first."

I nodded, continuing to rinse out the cuts as I perched beside him on my knees. I had several different bowls of assorted cleaning and healing agents, gauze, Band-Aids, and even some sutures that were waiting to be used on his leg. I hadn't tried sutures in what felt like forever and I could vaguely recall Frank being a little less than thrilled with my stitching when I'd tried it the first few times. Still, I was hoping that I hadn't forgotten exactly how to do it and might be able to do a decent job on his leg when the time came.

I let my eyes travel over Loki's body slowly as I continued to kneel beside him, gently rising it of the blood and dirt that had come from his scuffle with the chitauri. He still hadn't explained what happened, but I wasn't going to press him at this point, no matter how much I wanted to and no matter how panicked I was, for I found myself enjoying the silence, relieved to have him with me even if he had returned damaged.

Despite our living together, I'd never actually caught a glimpse of him without any bit of clothing for much longer than a few moments, which really allowed me to see very little of him. Yet, as he laid on the sofa before me, his eyes hooded and his breathing slow, calm, I couldn't help but begin to learn the details of his figure and commit the finer points to memory.

I paused suddenly, refraining from carrying on with his chest and rinsing it and slowly, curiously, traced my fingers over long healed scars that ran along his torso. One wrapped around his shoulder and was thick, slightly raised, the other was a long, thin slit that ran along the length of his side as if he had been stabbed there or cut. It was strange to feel his skin beneath my fingers, to watch as he relaxed and refused to flinch away. It was surprising especially since he only gave me a bleary eyed smile when I glanced up at him, my fingers hesitating on the latter scar.

"Hunting with Thor," he murmured, lifting his head just enough to see where my fingers were resting. "My magic was not quite as strong as it is today when I received those, I've since learned how to better protect myself and to heal myself when necessary."

"Look pretty gruesome."

He smiled at me again, his eyebrows quirking up for a moment in amusement as he rested his head against the pillows again, and I grinned at him, slowly pulling my hand back from the marks. Without hesitating, I ignored the damp cloth I'd let go of and instead allowed my fingers wander over his arms curiously - only _inspecting for injuries_, I assured myself - feeling the muscle beneath my fingers as I glided over his biceps and to his chest. He wasn't broad, there wasn't much about him that seemed outrageously superhuman, but each touch seemed to prove that he was little else than solid muscle.

I was extra gentle as I touched at his chest and middle, fearful that I might only irritate the wounds more as I had when cleaning the gashes that had been left. I allowed my eyes to rove over his body while he kept his own closed, his mind elsewhere for the time being. I slid down his chest, smiling slightly at the small spray of chest hair that I'd caught glimpses of when he unbuttoned his shirt at night, then continued on, feeling the taught muscles in his abdomen as I came to his stomach.

It was enough to make me blush, feeling his body and enjoying it while he laid there in pain. It wasn't right, it was childish, it was immature, it was stupid but I couldn't help it, I liked it far to much. I liked _him_ far too much to stop caring about his taut stomach and well muscled arms. I felt like an idiot, a school girl even, as I flushed pink, knowing that it would only be worse when the time came for me to take his pants off.

"Not embarrassed to be touching me, are you, Raleigh?" he sounded amused for the first time and I glanced up at his face to see the ghost of a smile dancing on his lips.

"No, just embarrassed with myself," I admitted. "I-I'm sorry for yesterday and for how I've been acting lately."

Loki stared at me, clearly surprised by the apology and then lifted his arm, bending it as he lifted his head so that his head rested in the palm of his hand, "Now is not the time to be sentimental, Raleigh," he told me quietly. "I'm not yet dead."

"No, but I'd feel a whole lot worse then," I told him scowling.

"Perhaps," he mused, the smile ghosting once again. He glanced down at my hands, watching as I moved to pick up the bowl of salt water to clean a particularly deep cut and winced slightly as I began to dab at the wound, "Though if we're being honest with one another I suppose I am rather sorry myself. I have not been entirely forthcoming with you in all matters, nor have I been the easiest companion for you."

I rinsed the cut again, first cleaning the area around it with alcohol and then rinsed it with the fresh water rag. I looked up at him as I finished, tossing each of the rags into their respective bowls.

"We're even then," I said with a nod, pulling back from him to pick up the gauze and tape.

"Don't," his voice was quiet and I looked up at him, frowning as he gave me a soft look, his eyes glazed over. "Not yet, anyway," he urged, nodding at the gauze and tape I was holding, but when I continued to stare at him questioningly he shifted around on the sofa slightly, obviously a little uncomfortable with continuing.

"You're all clean, I really should bandage you up before you get exposed to anything or start bleeding," I explained to him lowly, "you wanted me to play doctor so I'm going to do this my way and I say you're getting taped back together right now."

He rolled his eyes, "Must you always be so infernally daft?" he asked me as the corners of his mouth curved downwards into a frown, his brow knitting together.

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of just what he was getting at.

"Your hands," he began, a slight flush creeping into his cheeks as he spoke. He hesitated for a moment, as if waiting for me to understand but then let out a frustrated sigh when I didn't and pressed on, "Your hands feel good on me. I'd appreciate if you would carry on if only for a little while."

I grinned at him crookedly, bowing my head to hide the smile and toyed with the gauze and tape while I considered his request. Finally I shook my head, looking up at him, "I can't do that, your leg is still bleeding somewhere under there," I said gesturing to the blanket, "and I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me, I assure you."

I rolled my eyes in reply, unable to help feeling a little amused by his insistence and decidedly macho attitude towards his injuries. I lifted myself up onto the edge of the sofa's cushion, leaning over to rinse my hands in the salt water before I looked up to find he was frowning at me.

"Dry your hands," he ordered, "I don't want it to sting."

"You're going to take what I give you and you're going to like it," I replied curtly, resting my still damp hands on his shoulders. He let out a soft, flustered noise and closed his eyes as I slowly rubbed my hands over his chest, doing my best to avoid the cuts in his skin as I went along, feeling his warm, smooth skin beneath my fingers as I kneaded his chest playfully, gently. His heart beat slowly against my hand as I rested my hand over it, calm and relaxed.

He opened one eye, giving me a small smirk before he closed it again, sighing deeply as I slowly dropped my hands to his stomach, feeling the muscles of his abs once more as I looked for safe, uninjured skin to massage. Loki's hand fell lazily upon my leg, dangling in the space between them for a moment before he slowly began to stroke the inside of my thigh, smiling at me as he opened his eyes slightly.

I stopped, leaving my hands to rest on his chest where there was far more unscathed skin to touch. It was the first time I'd ever been this close to him by my own volition, been even the slightest bit intimate with him freely, and it was the first time that I realized just how much the thought of losing him scared me. I slid my thumb across his chest slowly, flicking it over one of his nipples and then drew small circles on his bare skin; he didn't move, merely smirked a little more as he stared at me and let his hand wander a little further up my leg though I made no moves to stop him.

Staring at him now was just slightly better than before, he looked just a little bit like himself, whereas before I'd barely been able to stand it. He hadn't been able to lift his head and had flickered in and out of consciousness, mumbling incoherently, while I worked in silence trying to stop the bleeding and to clean the wounds in his skin from the chitauri. His torso was still a mess, still scratched and torn although he'd assured me that whatever I hadn't been able to fix would heal quick enough on its own and that he would take care of any scarring that might've occurred, but it was still better than before. It was better than when I'd been scared of losing him.

"The tape then?" he nodded at the roll where it lay on the floor, "I'm just the slightest bit tired of keeping pressure on my thigh as I'd much rather have both my hands on yours," he told me as I pulled my hands back, helping him into a sitting position.

I shot him a warning look, "Just because you're hurt doesn't change anything, Loki."

Loki chuckled softly, cocking his head at me and smiled brightly, "Doesn't it though?" he asked me, his voice teasing. His eyes were knowing as they locked on mine and I shrugged him off, not willing to admit that this had changed things for me, that my perspective was still changing as we spoke and as I touched him.

I hated the thought of nearly having lost him, enjoyed the thought of touching him, of feeling his body beneath my hands, and longed to finish with tending to his wounds if only so I might be able to clear my head a little. Even now he was seductive, alluring even, and I found myself thinking of the times I'd brushed off his suggestions of no-strings-attached sex, kicking myself for having refused him. It would figure that I'd be the sort of idiot that would only realize just how much I wanted him when he was hurt, when I'd come within inches of losing him, and if he weren't Loki, if he wasn't magical and from Asgard or Jotunheim, I was positive that I would have lost him by now, which only made the feelings stronger.

I was happy that he was safe, fearful of what might happen, and I had an underlying desire to have him for myself now, a desire that he clearly knew all about and was happily relishing, but I still found my world spinning as I realized just how important he was. He wasn't a friend, but I trusted him, I occasionally confided to him even though he'd brush off my confidence with a smart remark or cold shrug. He did keep me safe though, he did what he could to give me what I wanted, and I had to give him that even if I couldn't give him emotions.

I unwound the roll of gauze slightly and then tore off a small piece of the medical tape, stuck it to the end of the roll and then taped it to his back beneath his shoulder blade.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked him, looking up at him as I slowly began to wrap the gauze around his torso, covering the cuts steadily. He was quiet, his jaw set rather determinedly as he sat still, flinching with pain occasionally, but he finally turned to look at me.

"There's not much to tell, Raleigh," he murmured, looking rather tired again. He'd been bouncing back then tiring rapidly, which he'd explained was simply a result of his magic weakening and then energizing him. I didn't understand it very well, but hadn't pressed him on the matter as I was more interested in trying to fix whatever I could manage.

"You said chitauri came out of nowhere and attacked you in the middle of a Welsh forest, Loki, I'm pretty sure there's a lot to tell me."

He sighed, watching as I cut the end of the gauze and placed another strip of medical tape at the end before I began to wrap a second and final layer over the first for added protection.

"You must be careful now," he told me abruptly and I paused, staring at him as he turned his head towards me, his face serious. "If they've found me then I am certain that they know of you and believe you to be a worthy target. I'm capable of handling myself, but I have my doubts that you will be able to guard yourself about the chitauri."

"If this is your idea of handling yourself you're not doing a very good job," I muttered before I could stop myself. "They could've killed you."

"It will be much different when I've acquired the Book and have my full powers returned to me once more," he replied tersely. "For the time being, though, I am afraid that I will have to rely purely upon physical skill in combating them as I am certain they will return."

I chewed my lip nervously, sneaking a glance at him from beneath my lashes as I finished with the second layer of gauze and taped it securely in place. "What do you mean?" I asked him. "Do you have any idea when they'll be back?"

He shrugged, slowly lying back down on the sofa as I got up, going to fetch fresh cloths as well as clean water for his leg.

"I'm not certain but I should think that they won't make an appearance again for some time, they're acting on the orders of Thanos and I've confidence that he will plot a strategic moment to strike."

I dumped the bowls in the sink, frowning deeply, and then looked over my shoulder at him, "And you laid up on the sofa barely able to move _isn't_ strategic how?"

"He won't strike now," Loki replied. "You've such little faith in what I say, Raleigh, you ought to trust me."

I sighed heavily, turning on one of the burners to boil a fresh pot of water and then left it to heat, returning to Loki. I leaned over, pulling the blanket back and then laid it over his chest before I began to fumble with his trousers. _Did he wear underwear?_ I couldn't remember, I didn't look when he took his pants off at night.

"I was under the impression that you'd slept with men," he taunted as I struggled with the button of his pants, my hands shaking slightly.

"I have, what's your point?" I asked, mouth gone dry.

"Surely you managed to get their pants off just fine," Loki replied, smirking slightly.

I sighed in frustration, "Yes, well, that was different. I wasn't -"

"You weren't attracted to them?" he suggested, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Don't flatter yourself, Loki," I shot back, finally unbuttoning his trousers. "You're not as special a flower as you might like to think."

He chuckled deeply, looking around the cottage as I pulled down the zipper of his trousers and then lifted his hips slightly, waiting for me to tug the pants away from his body. I swallowed, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks as I realized that he most certainly did not have on underwear but then tugged his trousers down before he could make any smart remarks about my hesitating.

"Always took you for a boxer briefs kind of guy," I remarked flatly, keeping my eyes averted from his groin. "Couldn't you -" I waved my hand as I tossed his trousers into the pile of ruined things, "I don't know - _cover up?_"

"Always so modest," he mocked as I made my way back to the kitchen to fill the bowls with boiling water. I glanced back at him, frowning, and noted that he had tossed the blanket over himself, waiting patiently for me to return while he kept his hand pressed to a blood soaked rag that I'd placed on his thigh. The pressure was good for it, it ensured that he wasn't losing as much blood as before when it was uncovered and left to itself; the tourniquet ran the risk of cutting off all blood flow to his leg which would have ended horribly if prolonged.

I poured some of the water into the two bowls, then pulled the box of salt towards myself, shaking a bit into the second bowl to make salt water to cleanse the cut. I set the box down and while it seeped, I carried the fresh water over to the living area, setting it down on the floor while Loki watched me.

"Why didn't you study medicine?" he asked me suddenly.

I looked at him, then shrugged my shoulders, "Never really thought about it," I admitted, picking up the already used rags. "I'm not that good at science anyway, so I'd have probably failed out of a med school if I tried."

"You aren't entirely dismal at it," he argued, which may as well have been a compliment coming from Loki. "You've done a decent job thus far with me."

"Medicine gets a lot more complicated than fixing some cuts and burns, you know," I replied, retrieving the salt water. I tucked a few of the clean wash rags beneath my arm, turning to face him. "You have to stick your hands inside of people and bring them back to life occasionally, too."

"Hm," Loki smiled up at me as I brought the bowl over, setting it beside the other before I kneeled down. "Sounds a bit like something I could do," he murmured.

"If that was a sexual innuendo I hope you know that it was pretty bad."

He laughed, allowing me to pull his right leg aside and then lifted his hand away from his thigh, staring at the gouge that had been left behind.

I let out a slow, soft breath as I stared at the damage and watched as a small bit of blood leaked out, trickling down his thigh before I reached for the water, soaking one of the rags in it. I squeezed out the excess and then leaned in, dabbing at the bloody wound gently as I rinsed it out the cut and the bloodstained skin surrounding it.

"You're lucky you know," I remarked, attempting to change the subject, to keep it casual.

"Am I now?" he arched an eyebrow at me as I rinsed the rag out and then left it alone, changing over to salt water instead. He hissed out a breath as I pressed the cloth to his thigh, gritting his teeth together and I drew back, rinsing the cloth for a few moments while he recovered.

"There's an artery in your thigh that the chitauri just missed," I told him. "If it was hit you'd have been dead, you know."

"Fascinating," Loki muttered, clearly not fascinated in the slightest. He winced as I began to dab and clean the gouge once again, gently pressing the cloth to his thigh while I cleaned the cut out. He struggled into a half sitting position, watching as I reached for the fresh water to rinse it clean again, "No alcohol?" he asked me, hopeful.

"No alcohol," I confirmed to him and earned myself a grateful smile in return. He settled himself back down on the cushions of the sofa, allowing me to rinse the wound clean of the salt water and anything else I may have missed, then followed me with his eyes as I rose to my feet and left his side to find a candle and set of matches.

"What are you doing?" he asked me as I pulled a box of matches from one of the cabinets, I looked over at him, picking up a candle from the dining room table, and then crossed back to his side, lighting the wick. "This is hardly what I would call romance, Raleigh," he muttered as I set the candle and its holder on top of the coffee table.

"You don't find being completely naked in front of me like this romantic?" I teased, "You're baring yourself to me, Loki, that's quite sexy according to you."

"Very funny," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Come now, what are you doing with that thing, You aren't about to burn me with it are you?" he demanded.

"Don't be so infernally daft," I shot back, grinning devilishly at him. I picked up the needle for the sutures and held it within the flame, sanitizing it while Loki waited for me to explain the practice. "You're always supposed to make sure your tools are clean," I told him, "kind of like how warriors would clean their weapons after a battle, doctors are supposed to clean anything they use to operate on a person beforehand. It has to be sanitized and flames kill any germs and bacteria."

Loki nodded slowly, watching as I pulled back and began to thread the needle. I took a deep breath, slowly plunging the needle into his skin an inch up his leg from where the chitauri had caught him then pulled it up and through the other side. I repeated the action, doing my best to keep my hands steady as I gradually pulled the slash in his leg closed, silently thanking God for having stopped the blood flow; there would be no way I could fix a torn blood vessel with my meager medical skills. Frank could, Frank could do infinitely more than I could ever imagine, but I wasn't Frank and Frank wasn't here to guide me through any of this like he had been when he taught me.

Loki let out a soft grunt and I froze, unsure if I had done something wrong like threading too deep when he quickly shook his head, "Keep going," he told me quietly.

"Are you okay?" I asked nervously.

"Raleigh," he shook his head, "carry on."

I hesitated briefly before I nodded, doing as he said and pulled the needle through once more, continuing on with the zigzag pattern that Frank had taught me. Part of me thought the wound too deep, was sure that it wouldn't heal, but another part of me argued that the important thing for the time being was to get it shut and to let him rest since he had already healed himself in some places and lessened injuries in others.

I reached the end of the wound and tied off the end of the line, then picked up the scissors from where they were laying on the floor and snipped the remaining thread away, which I tossed down on the table. I sighed heavily, inspecting my work, and then sat back on my heels, somewhat satisfied that I hadn't completely bumbled through it. I reached out for the cotton that I'd set down and then lifted his leg so that it was bent at a forty-five degree angle and began to wrap his thigh with it.

"How did he teach you all of this?" Loki asked me curiously.

I looked at him, shrugging, "My mother went out of town for a gala one weekend and Frank said he wasn't feeling well enough to go, which was a lie because he was perfectly fine, and he taught me everything that weekend. We practiced a few other times after that but he basically gave me a forty-eight hour long crash course in field medicine. He bought this giant chicken and some other stuff from the butcher and brought it home and would make cuts in it that he told me I had to stitch back together."

Loki smirked, clearly amused at the idea, "What sort of doctor is he?" he asked curiously. "I understand there are specialties?"

"Frank's an emergency surgeon," I explained, "he takes stuff like this and fixes it. He was an army medic and then he left and transferred to the RAF to keep on working as a medic; he left the military about fifteen years ago, enrolled in medical school for good measure, and now he's an emergency surgeon."

Loki nodded, "I don't quite understand why you study law," he remarked as I continued to wind the gauze around his thigh, "do you truly enjoy it?"

I shrugged, "It's equal parts enjoyable and unbearable," I told him truthfully. "I wouldn't want to be a doctor though, it's far too much work for me to handle and I couldn't bear to lose someone."

"Death is natural, Raleigh," Loki murmured, "loss is natural."

"Doesn't matter," I said, shaking my head defiantly. "You - you know that when everything is said and done that you're going to wind up in Valhalla or something, right? That there's more for you. But you've had like a thousand years on me to figure everything out. I get seventy some years and then what? Dirt, fire, decomposition, whoopee. I don't want to be responsible for keeping someone else here or sending them into the unknown, I can barely keep myself here on a good day, I couldn't play God like that."

"You fear death," he arched an eyebrow as he spoke; he wasn't asking, he knew his observation was right.

"It doesn't matter," I shrugged, cutting the cotton and peeled off another piece of the medical tape, finishing with his leg, "you mean to kill me in the end whether I'm scared or not."

"You shouldn't," he murmured as I began to gather up the medical supplies from where I'd been kneeling and set them on the table. I looked at him, curious, "You shouldn't fear it. You're wise, Raleigh, though I give you little credit for it you have moments where you prove yourself far wiser than other mortals and a wise mortal does not fear death."

"Wise usually coincides with old, you know," I replied flatly, giving him a bitter smile, "I'm not even twenty yet and you're telling me that I'm going to be dead when you've gotten this book of yours."

He pulled me down onto the sofa as I moved to stand and held my arm, staring at me, "And if I were to assure you that your fears are unfounded?"

I smiled at him ruefully, "It's a nice gesture."

Loki frowned, "I...could have been wrong," he admitted to me abruptly. "It might be prudent to allow you to live, if only because it would be fair of me for having saved my own life. You would agree with that, wouldn't you?" he asked me.

"Just prolonging the inevitable now," I remarked, my voice tinted with malice, "You said yourself that Thanos would still kill me."

He pushed himself up into a sitting position, shaking his head at me, "No," he said slowly, "Thanos would certainly try, but I would not allow for it to happen. I would see to it that I protect you as you've done today in protecting me."

I laughed nervously, "I'm not a really great shield, Loki, so I don't know what you're talking about."

He laid a hand upon the inside of my leg once more, leaning in and resting against me, his forehead cool against my skin as he pressed close. "You may've not acted as a shield, but it certainly is your acting as you have that has saved me from the wounds I sustained. I feel it would only be right to give you the same courtesy, the same right to carry on living as you have."

I stroked his hair, smoothing it over gently, and closed my eyes, "Just because you got beat up doesn't mean you have to change all your grandiose plans, you know," I mumbled, "not that I'm complaining about you deciding to let me live."

He chuckled, one of his hands running up and down on my side as he held himself up, close to me. "And what makes you think I've had that great a change in heart?" he asked, pulling back just enough to stare at me. "I've just the same plans as before," he murmured, "with the exception of killing you, instead I should think I'd like to have you alive."

I grinned in spite of myself and laughed weakly, unsure as to whether or not the giggle was appropriate, but Loki cracked a smile anyway, leaning in close to me. He was still horribly pale, his face drained from all the blood loss, but I could see his eyes twinkle mischievously as he leaned in, his breath gentle on my lips. I held his gaze for a few moments, then let my eyes fall to his lips, merely centimeters from my own and slightly parted.

Without bothering to thinking anymore, I kissed him slowly, gently, and allowed him to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I sighed against his lips as he pulled me in closer to himself, his arm wrapped tightly around my body and I carefully eased him back on the sofa. His hands quickly began to wander over my body curiously, exploring as I allowed him free range, slipping beneath my shirt to run along my bare back. His hands came around to my chest, kneading my breasts carefully as he prompted a soft moan to escape from my lips.

I shook my head, breaking the kiss. He was sick and injured, doing this wasn't right - but God, why did it have to feel so good?

"Stay with me," he mewled against my lips as he pulled me in again, kissing me passionately. I conceded for a moment, but then moved to pull away from him, deciding against continuing on. "Raleigh, please."

Cupping his face in my hands, I pulled back from him, unable to help grinning as I felt one of his hands rest upon my bum, cupping it through my jeans almost possessively. He slipped his other hand out from beneath my shirt and stroked my face gently, before he cupped it in his hand. I smiled, turning my head to press my lips to the inside of his wrist then I shifted around, glancing him over curiously before my eyes came to rest upon his groin. I let out a soft sound of surprise as I found that he was half hard beneath the blanket and I looked back at him, arching an eyebrow as I found that he was staring back at me, shameless as ever.

"I can see why you want me to stay now," I murmured, leaving a gentle peck against his lips. He took the kiss greedily, hungrily, and I quickly retreated, unwilling to get carried away. "But you can take care of your little problem yourself."

"I can assure you that I am hardly little," he muttered, kissing me again, his free hand knotting in my hair. I laughed against his lips, opening my mouth to him again and turned, curiosity getting the better of me as we kissed and found myself flushing red when I realized he was right: even half hard he was larger than I'd anticipated. I pulled back, my hands pressing to his chest as I put a few inches between our bodies, shaking my head.

"Doctors orders, you've to rest. I'm sure you're plenty capable of taking care of yourself."

"Ah," he shook his head, his hand rubbing up and down my arm gently, "but you've been so good to me already. What's the harm in a little more?"

I shook my head again, "No, Loki, you're hurt. You need tea and sleep and food."

"I could think of a few things I might like to put in my mouth," he murmured, his eyes roving over my body as he spoke. I pursed my lips at him when he raised his gaze to meet my own and he smiled at me, "Oh for the love of the Nine, Raleigh, don't pretend that you haven't imagined it…." He blinked, clearly finding the idea of me fantasizing about him appealing and pulled me in a little closer, his hand tightening on my arse, "Tell me what you've imagined?"

I got up, shaking my head at him, "I don't need to elevate your blood pressure any," I whispered to him. "Sleep now, talk later."

"There will be little talking," he returned, tugging on one of my belt loops as he looped a finger through it. "Stay with me and sleep here, you look horribly tired."

I shook my head again, "Loki, come on, let me go."

"Never," he growled up at me, his eyes locked on my own. He tugged on my jeans, pulling me down on the sofa and nearly on top of him when I caught myself, holding myself over him as I braced my arms on either side of him, against the arm and back of the couch. Wordlessly, he lifted his head, his lips pressing to my middle gently. "Just once," he whined to me.

I was quiet, allowing him to kiss over my stomach, pushing my shirt up to press his lips to my bare skin and I slowly raked my fingers through his hair as his teeth nipped at the exposed skin, biting me gently only to suck at the skin he took between his teeth, leaving light marks on my skin as he continued on.

"Christmas isn't for another three days," I told him as he kissed down to the waistline of my jeans, "if you're good, maybe Santa will bring you a surprise."

His scoff was soft, gentle against my skin. "I'm quite certain that Christmas might come early to those who are in need of such joy as experiencing your body."

"As I already have said, I'm more than confident that you can handle yourself and your little problem," I whispered to him, pulling back so that I was out of his reach. I pushed my shirt down, smoothing it, and Loki frowned at me.

"As I am confident that you could easily handle it for me just the same," he murmured.

"There's no build up then," I teased him, packing up the first-aid kit, "and the build up is the best part."

Loki smiled up at me as I began to gather up the medical supplies from the living area and watched in silence as I carried them away. Just as I was finishing with them, he stopped me, one hand having slipped beneath the blanket by now to begin tending to his 'problem' and I raised my eyebrows at him as he took my wrist.

"I'm pretty sure that this means there isn't going to be any physical contact between me and your dick, you know," I told him, "you should give up now. I'm not budging on this one. You need rest, not me."

"Thank you," he said instead, he released my wrist from his grasp and then closed his eyes, a small yawn escaping his lips. As I walked away from him, smiling in spite of myself and I found myself wondering just when he planned on handling himself. Then, quickly, I shook my head, not wanting to think of it for if I did then it would surely mean that Loki was right and that I imagined it. But didn't I imagine it already?

I didn't bother looking back at him, instead I merely dumped the bowls out, left the damp rags in the sink and bowls, the first-aid kit on the counter, and turned, heading up the stairs and for bed. Things had changed already, for the better I was certain. I was happy with it, with him, with myself, and as I began to drift to sleep I found myself entertaining the idea of just what it might be like to truly be with him.


	9. Within Runes

As usual, I own nothing.

Also, I'm terribly sorry this has taken me so long to put together and while it's not as long as I'd hoped it might be, I did manage to get the ball moving on it and to lead up to the next few chapters which I've been working on in my spare time. Oh, I mentioned on Tumblr that you'll find a few prompts and pieces being posted and coming your way shortly that won't make it into the main story; I know a lot of you are either not on Tumblr or don't follow me, but it's just a heads up. I'll let you know when that happens.

Oh, AND, AND - before I forget (and it would be awful if I did again), thank you so much once again to anyone that's reviewed or reads this on a regular basis. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. You're lovely and wonderful and have my deepest gratitude.

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Within Runes**

"Raleigh." _Loki. _ "Raleigh," he was shaking me. "Raleigh, wake up."

I rolled over, groaning into my pillow and swatted at his hand when he reached for me again, scooting as far away as possible. Loki reached out, grabbing me around the waist and rolled me over so that I faced him, staring up at him with bleary eyes as he loomed above me, daylight casting shadows upon him as it leaked in from the windows of the bedroom.

"Go away," I reached for another pillow, covering my face, but Loki pulled it away, throwing it to the opposite end of the bed.

"Raleigh, stop being childish, we have museums to go to and a relic to search for."

I stared at him, frowning, and noted that he had donned a fresh pair of trousers at least and by the looks of it his chest wasn't doing all that bad either, though he'd left it uncovered for the time being.

"Do we?" I sighed. "You don't want to take a couple days sick break?"

"Raleigh, we've dawdled the last two days while I healed. Now get up," he pulled on my arm, dragging me upwards so that I was in a sitting position. He let out an exasperated sigh when I pulled my arm back, flopping back down in bed.

"Ten minutes, Loki," I mumbled, closing my eyes.

He hissed, "If you do not get up this instant and remove yourself from this bed I will see to it that I get in there and keep you for the next several hours beneath myself."

"You wouldn't," I said lowly, opening one eye to stare at him. He reached for the front of his trousers, moving to climb into bed when I sat up. "All right, fine, point made! Get out of bed unless I want you in bed, I see! Keep your pants on, would you?"

I threw the covers back, getting up from bed and then padded across the bedroom to the set of drawers I had placed my clothes in. I kept a straight face as I glanced in the mirror, noting that Loki had eased himself down onto the bed, relaxing with a smirk on his face while he watched me choose fresh clothes to wear. I had slept in one of his shirts, which hung down over my thighs, the buttons partly done, and I had a feeling he was little less than annoyed by my choosing to wear his clothing. It was one of Loki's many pet peeves - he despised when his clothes were worn by anyone else, namely me.

I set the pile of clothes on the top of the dresser, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. He pursed his lips, folding his arms across his chest as he watched me.

"You may as well keep the shirt," he remarked flatly. "It'll smell of you now."

I rolled my eyes, shutting the dresser drawer and then picked up my clothes to head to the bathroom for a shower, "Some men find it appealing, you know."

"Midgardians," Loki scoffed.

"I'm going to take a shower," I began, ignoring his quip.

"And you desire company?" he asked me, arching an eyebrow.

"Har, har, very funny," I replied, hardly amused; Loki smiled up at me impishly as I turned and approached the bed, curiously touching at his chest and the gauze I'd wrapped around his middle. "You feel any better?" I asked him.

He shrugged at me, "I can walk, that's all that matters," he replied coolly. "Go shower, I'd like to see if we might discover anything about the Book today."

I frowned slightly, "Prying me off in the name of Ullr's Book," I said slowly. "Nice to see where I rank with you."

"Raleigh," Loki frowned, "you said yourself that my injuries change nothing for you, so why might they change anything for me?"

I didn't reply, unwilling to admit that he was right, and then made my way to the bathroom to shower. I didn't want to know just how long I had slept for; in fact, the only thing I wanted to know was where he planned on going today and just how he planned on getting there. I shut the bathroom door tightly behind myself, unable to keep from smirking slightly at the sight of the small shower stall: there was no way Loki would have ever been comfortable in it with me as well.

As I stripped down, I found my mind wandering idly back to Loki, well aware that the only thing separating the two of us was a thin wooden door and that he was more than likely in his usual mood, where he found nothing more enjoyable than causing strife. Yet, what if things were changing between he and I?

I slipped into the shower, allowing the hot water to cascade down over my bare shoulders, sliding down my back as I tilted my head backwards, wetting my hair. I'd dreamt about him for the last few days, had fallen asleep with my mind wandering towards him, and yet I was still insisting that there wasn't a change between he and I. Even if the chitauri hadn't come into the picture would I be able to deny it for much longer? All of the fighting and the stress had just made me so dependent upon him and it was bizarre, but I understood it all the same.

He and I were alone in this, he was the only one that even began to understand the stress I was under and I was the only one who trusted what he had to say. It was natural to let my feelings grow, it was natural for my feelings to become more, and it was natural to begin to think I could love him.

* * *

I trudged along after Loki through the museum corridors, glancing around at the various artifacts with mild curiosity. I hadn't realized that the National Museum of Wales was so large, with several different sites to its name, and Loki had been his usual self and neglected to mention the large expanse as well. However, he had insisted we go anyway if only because the nearest held a large number of Viking relics from the time the occupation of Wales; I hadn't had the heart to inform him that by the second occupation most of the Welsh were Christians and that Christianity was also much more prevalent in Scandinavia, meaning Asgard was mostly out of the picture.

It wasn't worth arguing over really, so instead I occasionally stopped to look at something while Loki hovered beside me impatiently, fidgeting and rolling his eyes when I took my time to inspect whatever had caught my eye.

"You don't actually think that they're going to have the Book _here_, do you?" I asked him tartly.

Loki looked down at me, lifting his shoulders once only to let them fall in a gentle shrug. He turned with me down another corridor, speaking quietly so that I could only hear him, "I have my doubts as to whether they will be in possession of Ullr's Book, however I need only something to go on. If we can find just the slightest hint of its true location then surely we'll be onto it."

"Seems a little bit like we're doing this in vain, then," I muttered, stopping with him to stare at an exhibit that detailed the daily lives of the first settlers in Wales. I sighed heavily, glancing around at the people who milled into the room after us and began to explore curiously.

Loki turned, watching in silence as several small children raced around the large room, shrieking and laughing delightedly with one another. He pursed his lips as they careened closer to us and I found myself looking up at him, curious.

"I thought you wanted kids?" I arched an eyebrow.

"I've no desire for ones who make fools of me," he replied tartly, earning a dirty look from one of the women who was standing nearby. Loki returned the look with more venom, "As discussed previously, dogs mate with dogs, however some are not fit to breed and ought to refrain from producing young. If the bitch is diseased or the dog weak, then it's little to no leap in logic that the pup might be just as foul."

I laid a hand on his arm and he slowly uncrossed his arms from their position of being folded across his chest. He took my hand in his own, holding tightly to it as I led him from the room briskly, "Really?" I hissed at him through clenched teeth. "Was that necessary?"

"No," he replied shortly. "Though it was rather enjoyable if I'm to be entirely honest with you."

I rolled my eyes, keeping a firm grip on his hand as we wound our way through the various corridors of the museum. He pulled me around eventually, tiring of people and my refusal to insult them, and headed towards the small cafe that had been on the first floor near the gift shop.

"Sit," he pointed to a seat as we arrived and I scowled at him, slowly lowering myself into one of the chairs. He'd picked a table that sat all the way in the corner of the cafe, away from the few other people and families that were currently eating and drinking. I watched in silence as Loki left the table, heading to the counter and ordered drinks.

I pulled the book of Norse myths from my bag, curiously turning the pages to find one of the stories I had taken to. Continuing to thumb through the pages, I glanced up to find Loki returning to the table, a small tray in tow with a pot of tea as well as a mug of what looked like coffee.

I wrinkled my nose at the sight and slowly replaced the book in my bag, forgetting about it for the time being.

"I sincerely hope that you bought coffee for yourself," I said flatly.

He looked at me, frowning, and set the tray down on the table, "I've never attempted to have coffee so why would I begin to drink it now?"

I frowned, reaching across to the teapot and picked it up, taking the empty cup with it. "Because I'm having tea and you're not going to create a scene by forcing coffee down my throat over it when there's a chance you could find your way to Ullr's Book."

Loki scowled, watching as I began to pour myself peppermint tea and then slowly lifted the coffee mug to his lips, taking a tentative sip of it. I watched him, smirking, and set the teapot down on the tray, surprised when he set the mug down with a slightly satisfied smile.

"You can't be serious."

He looked up at me, "It is rather enjoyable," he murmured, nodding slowly; he took another drink from the mug, longer now, and I sank in my seat, nose wrinkling.

"It's disgusting."

"Raleigh, shut up," he told me shortly, the words more playful than harsh; he sipped the coffee slowly, clearly still deciding if he liked it. "In case you have not noticed, the world of Midgard seems to disagree with your ideas about this coffee and they were wise in doing so."

He liked it then.

"Oh believe me," I nodded, "I've noticed and it still smells like sweaty gym socks."

Loki set the mug down, glancing around the cafe in silence while I leered at the cup that sat across from me, resenting the thick black liquid. I'd never liked coffee, I absolutely hated everything about it and avoided it as much as possible. I had more than a few friends who insisted upon drinking it, Jenny included, but I'd been happy enough to find that Jenny didn't want to buy a small coffee pot for our dormitory despite her enjoying it. Though, it was rather obvious that Loki would now be making a point to pick up a coffee pot the next time we were out as well as some kind of brew.

"How can you think it tastes good?" I asked him, frowning, "It's so bitter."

"You have your tea, Raleigh, I have my coffee," he told me, returning the frown as he lifted the mug once more. "Now please."

I rolled my eyes at him, looking away and slowly drummed my fingers on the surface of the table, wondering if he was feeling up to the conversation that I'd been wanting to have for weeks.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked up at him curiously, my fingers hesitating in their position before they came to rest against the smooth, polished wood.

"Yes?" he arched an eyebrow at me.

"You said that Odin stripped you of your powers, right?" I asked slowly.

He nodded once, silent, and waited for me to continue.

"That included your magic, right?"

Slowly, Loki nodded again; his eyes, locked on mine now, were steely yet glinted with curiosity, clearly wondering just where I intended to go with the questioning. I nervously toyed with my teacup before I looked back up at him.

"How is it possible that you could have done all of this then?" I asked him, taking a sip of the tea. "How did you heal me and yourself? How did you trick Trainor into believing you? I just don't get it." I looked down, timid, and then stole a glance at him, waiting patiently on the response.

He was quiet for some time, his eyes locked on my face, a strange smile curved his lips upwards, gentle yet far too sinister, and my heart fluttered in my chest nervously. Finally he sat forward, folding his hands before himself on the tabletop and kept his eyes trained upon my own as he spoke, "The answer is merely a theory."

"I still want to hear it."

He sighed, taking another drink of his coffee and then looked at me, frowning slightly, "I believe, though I could possibly be mistaken, that Odin's magic has worn down gradually, that it is still weakening even now. Should I be right, I will eventually regain my full powers regardless of my possessing the Book of Ullr."

I frowned deeply, "Then what are we doing looking for it?" I asked him sourly. "If you're just going to get better anyway, how come we're out here searching high and low for the bloody thing and risking our necks?"

Loki let out a slow, heavy breath, leaning back in his chair, and smirked at me, "So many questions today, kjære, why is that?"

"I'd like to know just what I'm dealing with."

He paused, chuckling darkly and then looked down at his napkin as he toyed with it, frowning, "Very well then." I waited, patient, and then watched as he finally set it down, his brow furrowing, "The Book of Ullr contains certain incantations which I find myself to be in need of," he said evasively.

"What kind?"

"The sort that you might not care for due to your constant championing of all things good," he replied lowly, casting a quick glance around the cafe to be sure no one was in earshot.

"So you want it because it's dark magic?" I said, my voice betraying the nerves that had begun to knot within my stomach.

He pursed his lips as if he were about to disagree and chastise me, but then nodded slowly.

"Loki," I shook my head, "that's wrong. There are other ways to get what you want, better ways. This won't end well. Don't you think that -"

"Raleigh," he interrupted me, a frown pulling his lips downwards rapidly. "I realize that I have complimented you in the past upon your intellect and your being wise, but sometimes we cannot achieve good without blood being spilt."

"There are plenty of other ways. You could go home and do like Odin says instead of doing this "

He barked out a laugh, bitter, and then looked up at me, his eyes glinting dangerously. "Don't be so naive," he growled at me. "Odin has no intention of ever putting me in my rightful place. Thor is his favorite as he always has been. Odin could never have a -" he hesitated, scowling, being he spat the rest of his statement with disgust, "- a Frost Giant upon the throne of Asgard. Oh the shame that might bring his kingdom if he chose to. My ways are not necessarily just, but oftentimes the end justifies the means."

"Don't hide behind Machiavellian bullshit," I argued hotly, my voice going up an octave, "and don't play the Daddy Issues card! If you get this Book, how many people will die? How many innocent lives are going to be ruined just so you get a throne and people bow before you?"

Loki scowled at me, "Must you always advocate for truth, justice, and preservation of human life? I've explained that you will be allowed to live, do not force my hand in attempting to bargain for the rest of humanity's lives. Most are worthless. Few have half as grand a purpose as you."

I stared at him, disgusted, "I'm not trying to say that you should keep all humans alive, I'm telling you that it's wrong to do any less than that. Killing people just to prove a point is barbaric. If you're supposedly all powerful and superior to us as lowly Midgardians then why would you kill humans? That's savage. That's what humans do."

"That is war, Raleigh, you might wish to educate yourself upon it."

I flushed red, "I know plenty about war. And I still think it's wrong. I think you're wrong and I think war is wrong."

"But surely you are sensible enough to recognize that war is simply not a black and white issue?" he arched one eyebrow at me and then picked up his coffee mug, taking another drink of it.

"Maybe so, but you don't fight a war that you can't say is fair."

Loki snorted, leaning forward, "And are all Midgardians prone to share in your idealistic hope of true war versus a war you shouldn't fight?" he asked me, scowling. "Or might your leaders share in my own view and see that the bloodshed eventually will lead to a greater end and one that might achieve their desires through it?"

"Yeah, they do think you're right and you know maybe that's why my planet's so fucked up to begin with."

His eyes narrowed and he remained silent for some time while he pondered the insult, finally he leaned back in his seat, stretching his legs out, "Regardless of your feelings towards my goals, the Book, and the situation itself, the simple fact remains that you are indebted to me and are to pay such a debt by doing as I say."

"Your using that is getting really old really fast," I muttered, gritting my teeth. It was true, if there was one thing I hated it was that Loki was consistently playing the debt card with me to get his way. I would have done most things out of free will, but I didn't want to be involved in bringing war or destruction to any planet.

Loki lifted his shoulders in a shrug, then looked around the cafe, his brow furrowed as he thought for a moment. He looked back at me, "Thanos, as you know, wishes to kill me. The chitauri are under his command and he is also aligned with a powerful enchantress from my world, Amora."

I raised my eyebrows, "So you're telling me now that it just isn't a matter of Thanos but also the chitauri _and _some crazy witch?"

"_Enchantress_," Loki stressed the word, his voice clinical.

"Oh whatever," I brushed off the correction, "don't you think that's kind of important and that you might have told me before?"

"It was not important before," he murmured, lifting his gaze to meet my own, "I believed that we might have enough time to acquire the Book and reverse the stripping of my powers. However, I was mistaken and they know of you and my plans."

I stared at him, unable to help but find the idea of a powerful otherworldly being, an enchantress, and an army of monsters coming after Loki and I to be terrifying. My world had been slowly crumbling around me ever since his arrival that night in the bookshop, but now I was more certain than ever before that I was facing imminent death head on. It no longer mattered that Loki wasn't going to be giving me a swift end, for I was certain that all of his promises to keep me safe would fall short if he was telling the truth and that I would be ripped to pieces in no time at all.

I cupped the mug of tea in my hands, stomach knotting again and wrinkled my nose hurriedly, trying my best to keep from crying over the idea. I didn't need to explain anything to him about being upset at the idea, he wasn't the emotional sort and he'd have no patience for me blubbering in a cafe.

"It upsets you," his voice was soft, gentle.

I stole a glance at him, shrugging once, and then rattled in a deep breath, "I...it terrifies me to be quite honest. Because whatever happens, I lose." Loki hesitated for a few moments before he slowly reached across the table, patting my hand with his own several times. I snorted, earning a reproachful look and then shook my head, "Sorry," I muttered. "I know you're just trying to be nice but don't tell me that I'm going to get out of all of this alive if you know that I'm not."

"If you and I acquire Ullr's Book, you will live," he told me, his face serious, "I assure you, Raleigh."

I nodded, fidgeting in my seat before I took a sip of the peppermint tea. As I drank the brew, I thought for a few moments, wondering what kind of information he was looking for about the Book, if it would prove to be beneficial in the end or if it was just a wild goose chase.

I sighed deeply, changing the topic, "What are you looking for anyway?" I asked.

"Anything that could point me in the proper direction. If it proves that the Book is out of this country then I'm afraid that I will require you to leave this area in order to acquire it. I presume you have one of these...passports?"

"I also have a visa," I told him nodding and then stopped, seeing his confused look, "Never mind, it was a joke."

"So you don't have one?"

"I do," I leaned forward in my seat slightly, "I'm not really keen about the idea of going off on my own to track down your dark spell book or whatever this thing is, but I have one and I'll do it."

He smiled at me, drinking his coffee again.

"So is there like a treasure map or something?" I asked curiously. "I mean, do you need to find something where 'x marks the spot' or whatever?"

Loki arched an eyebrow, clearly missing the reference. "I require anything that could assist me, though a map might prove to be rather useful." I pursed my lips, catching the mocking tone to his voice, and then pushed my teacup away, no longer interested in it. He arched an eyebrow at me, frowning. "Raleigh?"

"I just feel like this is all so pointless and that we're not going to make any progress."

"And your big book of Midgardian stories is offering you nothing?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "No need to be an ass, Loki, I'm just saying I don't get it."

"Well, come then," he got to his feet, "I understand there are a handful of exhibits here that may be worthwhile to our cause, regardless of your considering it futile."

I shot him a dirty look and then proceeded to get to my feet, following him from the small cafe to the museum's hallways; together, we strode through the long corridors, my eyes occasionally finding a curious and interesting exhibit in passing.

Loki turned abruptly, his hand taking mine as he pulled me into a large hall that held an exhibit of Viking relics. He looked down at me for a moment, an oddly hopeful look in his eyes as I took in the exhibit, staring at the strange and rusted artifacts and large stones that stood across the room. Finally, I glanced up at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, hoping that the act would be enough for him to understand that I approved and was hoping, too, even if it all seemed so useless to me.

I followed him through the exhibit, reading plaques in silence while he studied the objects, looking at them from various angles as if hoping they might contain a secret message. There was no such luck though, none of the swords or shields or every day tools held any magical properties or hidden codes from Asgard. In fact, the only thing they seemed to hold was dirt, though I didn't bother saying anything to him about it.

He led me around the room towards the large stone slabs eventually, clearly deciding they were his last hope and stopped several feet from the exhibit, his mouth falling open.

"What?" I muttered, "You don't want to go up there and sniff it or something?"

He ignored the joke and released my hand, striding forward to the slabs of rock with the strange, runic carvings and stared at them in wonder.

"I can read this," he breathed to me when I approached his side, staring at the old stone.

I frowned, "Loki, it's runic. No one here on Earth writes in runes anymore and we developed it anyway, so how can you?"

"Raleigh, please," he shot me a warning look and I sighed, nodding in defeat, then turned to face the stones as well, peering up at the strange symbols. "If there truly is a map to Ullr's Book then it will be in this language."

I slowly shifted my gaze down the rock, feeling a strange sense of deja vu as I stared at the runes. I reached for my satchel, ignoring the feeling to instead search for gum in the main compartment of my bag. As I reached down within the bag, my fingers brushed across the spine of the Norse mythology book I had taken from the shop on the very first evening I'd met Loki. I carried it everywhere, oddly protective of it, and the sudden touch of the book jolted me. Immediately, the memory of my dream on the train returned and I looked back up at the runes again, losing my interest in gum.

The symbols.

They were just like the ones that had been in the book.

_Cipher runes_. That was what Loki had called them in my dream, wasn't it? Cipher runes. I looked over towards the plaque, feeling my heart skip a slight beat as I read the heading Cipher Runes, Wales.

"Loki," I muttered, tugging on his sleeve, "I want to leave."

"Raleigh, not now," he murmured, "it's very well possible that they've encoded a map within this set of runes. I'm reading."

"Loki, please," I said, "I think I might have something you want to see."

* * *

Loki stared at the back of the mythology book, his eyes wide with wonder.

"How long have you known about this?" he asked me, lifting his gaze to meet my own.

I shrugged, "I had a dream the other day, I didn't look at it though or think to until you said you could read cipher runes back in the museum."

He slowly leaned forward, letting out a soft breath as he stared down at the book and then ran his fingers over the runes, feeling for the indentation left by the author.

"You really can read all of that?" I asked slowly.

He nodded, "My tutor taught me as a boy. My - Frigga, wished for Thor and I to be capable of understanding the runes. Asgardians and your Norsemen are the only ones who used this language, though your people have managed to find ways of translating it."

"Loki," I looked up at him, feeling strange for the first tim as I realized that I'd actually foreseen this as happening, practically been psychic. "Should I be worried that I saw this happening in a dream?"

He looked up at me, his eyebrows lifting for a moment and then he shrugged, "I don't see a need for you to be all that concerned, Raleigh," he admitted to me. "Is it truly something that worries you?"

"I've never had a dream like that before, so kind of."

He nodded slowly, "You needn't be concerned, as I told you, I will protect you."

I shifted nervously, glancing around the pub as he returned to the back page of the book, studying the cipher runes curiously. I sighed heavily, feeling foolish for how I fidgeted so nervously in my seat, and then bit my lower lip, pushing my seat back slightly.

"How about a drink?" I suggested to him.

We'd left the museum and returned to the small village that our holiday cottage bordered upon by rail in the early afternoon, Loki grumbling while I'd refused to show him what I was so excited over. Eventually, upon arriving, we'd found our way into the small pub and I was beginning to feel rather useless simply sitting as well as hungry and thirsty.

He nodded at me, "I suppose," he agreed. "Rum then?"

I smiled at him, relieved to find that he agreed, and nodded, "Rum sounds like a plan."

Loki slowly shut the book, placing it back into my satchel and returned my smile, "Thank you, Raleigh, I appreciate it."

I hesitated, but then nodded slowly, catching the double meaning of his words and flushed slightly, "It was just lucky, I guess," I admitted to him, though I wasn't about to admit that the idea of having _seen_ this was gnawing at me and making me nervous, that there wasn't a part of me that feared the chitauri or Thanos or Amora hadn't had a hand in it and were leading us into a death trap.

Loki raised his eyebrows at me, clearing his throat to bring me back to reality, "Raleigh?" he said slowly, "drinks?"

I stopped, nodding then, and slowly turned on my heel, making my way towards the bar.


	10. A Night to Remember

I own nothing, obviously. Just the Original Content and what not. The rest is not mine. :)

_Thanks very much to all those who kindly reviewed, you're wonderful and I'm very grateful as always._

**WARNING:** NSFW. Graphic smut (probably violated TOS on here with this little gem). It can border upon disturbing and if this isn't your cup of tea, you might just want to look elsewhere.

* * *

**Chapter Ten: A Night to Remember**

I kept a tight grip on Loki's hand as we staggered through the cold, empty streets together, giggling with each step I took. He pulled me in a little closer to his body, giving me support and I leaned against him, embracing the warmth as my breath rose before me in a mist, the quiet night chilly as Christmas Eve fast approached.

_Christmas_…. I turned suddenly in the street, pulling him around so that we faced one another and stopped.

"Raleigh," he warned.

I shook my head in response, deliriously happy with myself, with him, with the night, and with everything that was happening with life itself. We were going to find the Book! I'd helped him to find it.

"Hey," I told him, arms linking around his neck, "hey, d'you remember how you said we ought to do it?" I asked him, smiling widely.

"Do..._it_?" he echoed slowly, one eyebrow going up.

I tittered, his cluelessness hilarious for some reason, "Have sex."

Loki hesitated, his eyes narrowing, "You're drunk, Raleigh."

"No," I protested, one of my hands sliding down, over his chest and middle to rest upon his belt. "C'mon."

He shook his head, "Raleigh, you're being foolish. I'd much prefer you sober."

I laughed, finding his sudden manners just as amusing as his cluelessness. "D'you know how many guys would jump at the chance?" I asked him, tugging at his belt, my hands clumsy as the alcohol continued to make its way through my body, coursing through my veins and offering me liquid courage, freedom. "Don't say no, I promise it's worth your while."

He remained silent, then grimaced at me, taking my wrists in his hands, "Even if I were to say yes, I wouldn't have you here."

I looked around at the empty street and snorted, "Where's your sense of adventure?" I asked him, stepping him closer. "Some guys would love it." He froze, watching as I moved in, my eyes locked on his, and before he could speak, protest again, I kissed him fully on the mouth, deeply, passionately.

His grip on my wrists tightened and he pulled me in closer, flush against his body as one hand released me, snaking around my waist as I slipped my tongue into his mouth, exploring it eagerly. I lifted my free hand to his face, cupping his cheek as I tasted the alcohol on his tongue, and then kissed him harder, pleased when I felt his hand grip a fistful of my shirt at the base of my spine, holding me tighter as he responded.

It was good. All of this was good. And I relished every minute of it as Loki held me tightly, kissing me. Why I hadn't caved before now, let it happen, and enjoyed myself before was a mystery to me for this alone was better than I had ever remembered having before.

He pulled back abruptly and I pressed my lips to his throat, kissing up to the underside of his jaw and then back down, settling at the collar of his shirt.

He let out a frustrated noise, soft, as I scraped my teeth over his skin gently and grabbed at his wrist. Uninhibited, shameless now from the alcohol, I slid our hands beneath the waist of my blue jeans, my hand guiding his down and over my panties. I was wet, desperate for him and he let out a short breath, shocked when I brought his hand to a rest between my legs. He cupped me through my panties, the base of his palm gently rubbing at my clit through the sheer fabric.

"Please," I mewled to him, "I want it."

"Raleigh," Loki's hands were in my hair, out from beneath the waistband my pants, and he tilted his head backwards, exasperated, better exposing the skin of his neck to me. I took the opportunity eagerly, kissing the freshly bared skin. "Raleigh, be serious."

"I am," I told him without hesitating. "I want you," I nipped at his throat gently, "right now." I ran my hands through his hair, gripping a fistful at the nape of his neck. He leaned down, kissing me now and I held tight, pulling at his hair as the kiss deepened again. I could feel his hands slowly sliding down my back, pulling my body in close to his again. He kissed me steadily as his hands held tight to my waist.

He hesitated and he pulled back slowly, his forehead resting against my own. I kissed him gently, leaving a few pecks against his lips before I ran my hands over his chest, unsure of myself suddenly.

Had I done something wrong?

Did I say something wrong?

Was I suddenly less appealing?

He kissed the tip of my nose and I held to the front of his coat, my hands tight on the heavy wool fabric. He shook his head at me, "Raleigh," his voice defeated and he trailed off, eyes closing. "Not here," he mumbled, conceding to me at last.

I grinned hugely, kissing him again.

* * *

Loki practically slammed me against the wall by the time we made it inside of the cottage, our coats left on the floor, his breath ragged. I held tight to his shoulders as he lifted me into the air, his hands resting on the underside of my thighs, palms splayed across my bum as he cradled me in the air, his body snug between my legs.

My hands were a little more deft now and I hurriedly pulled at the dark green shirt's buttons as Loki's mouth pressed to my throat. I let out a quiet moan as he found the soft spot beneath my ear that I liked best. His hands tightened on my bum as I pulled his shirttail from his trousers, pushing the button-down back, off his shoulders, and away from his body eagerly.

The bandages were gone and to my amazement, all that remained was fresh, unharmed skin. I ran my hands over the same spots I had touched just days before, marveling at the magic that healed his wounds and how warm and soft his skin felt beneath my hands.

I couldn't remember ever wanting someone like this, ever feeling such a need to have someone.

Surely it was the alcohol.

It wasn't in my nature to be this horny, to feel this much desire for anyone.

His hands moved suddenly, one resting beneath me now while the other rose to the hem of my shirt. Supporting me with ease, he slid his hand beneath my shirt and ran his hand over my middle curiously, his lips trailing down to my collarbone. His teeth bit down on the skin and he sucked at the flesh he'd taken between his teeth, his hand kneading at my breast roughly, prompting a moan as I rested the back of my head against the wall.

He pulled the cup of my bra aside, his thumb sliding over my erect nipple before his hand retreated and slid around my back, pulling at the clip to unhook the strap.

My hands slid through his hair, pulling at it as he tugged the strapless bra out from beneath my jumper, tossing it across the darkened cottage without a second thought. His mouth moved down over my chest, fastening over one of the perky nipples that showed through the fabric while his hand tended to the other. His mouth was hot and his tongue slid over the fabric of my jumper, dampening it until it clung to my breast. He sucked at it eagerly, his other hand groping my breast curiously; he took my other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pinching at it a little rougher than I'd anticipated.

My nails dug into his skin as he fondled me and I groaned, desperately wondering if this was going to be the extent of my pleasure - him roughly teasing at my breasts and biting me. There was a part of me, one I was horribly ashamed of so regularly, that only wanted his cock; the rest was all fine and dandy, but this wasn't his cock inside of me and that was what I wanted.

"Loki," I breathed, "sofa...now."

He ignored me, instead tugging my shirt up and I quickly peeled it away, baring my full torso to him in the hopes that he might move. There was something off about everything suddenly, it all seemed so strange to me, even drunk, that he had become so aggressive and rough when just a short while before he'd hesitated and submitted to me.

It was just fun, I assured myself, just him enjoying himself. I'd still have plenty of time for pleasure in this.

I pulled his hair again as he bit at the tender skin of my breast, having switched his attention between the two. His hand now fondled the one he'd had his mouth on, while his mouth ran across the other, balancing the attention he gave to each.

He pulled me away from the wall suddenly, his free hand slipping down to my bum as well and he carried me towards the sofa, his mouth hot as it claimed my own with a hard kiss. I drew in a quick breath as he laid me down, his body above my own, and then kissed him again; his hand slid beneath my jeans slowly, slipping over the front of my panties. His tongue snaked into my mouth and I reached out, pulling his belt open as I kissed him.

He shoved my hands aside, "You'll wait," he growled against my lips before continuing to kiss me.

I didn't understand, instead reaching for his trousers again. I was hardly in the mood for his teasing, I wanted to be fucked and games were hardly what I currently desired. I wanted _him_, every part of him, which included his - Loki's hand seized my wrists and he pinned them to the arm of the sofa above my head, holding them in a vice like grip.

"Keep your hands to yourself," his voice was serious and he repeated himself, "you'll wait." I stared at him, feeling his other hand as it retreated and emerged from beneath my jeans, unbuttoning them. He pulled the zipper slowly, his eyes locked on mine as I writhed beneath him. Did I suddenly like the idea of him inside of me? No, he was being an ass. But I was far too worked up, far too horny to willingly go back now. He was more appealing than my own fingers even if our ideas of sensuality seemed to be clashing.

He released my wrists briefly, tugging my jeans away from my hips and smirked at me as he tossed them aside, "You'll do as I say?" he asked me with an arched brow, his index finger circling curiously over the front of my panties, slowly, deliberately teasing.

I hesitated; he got off on being dominant, all right, that made sense. I could handle that. Just so long as he didn't decide to go all Christian Grey on me, I was fine with it. Christian Grey was a creepy. All I cared about at this point was myself and if I got an orgasm out of playing along and letting him be dominant, I was totally okay with it. In fact, I was totally okay with anything he wanted, any position, any orifice, anywhere he wanted - well, no, that was a lie. Even drunk I knew that was a load of crap, I was okay with anything going anywhere except for my ass. My ass was out of the question for everyone, including Johnny Depp.

I nodded at him, "Yes," I told him.

He smirked at me, "Keep your hands to yourself then," he breathed in my ear.

I stared up at Loki, brow furrowing at the command and stayed still, deciding it was better to listen than defy him and prolong the wait to have him inside of me. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners and then leaned in, his mouth claiming my own again.

I kissed him deeply, allowing him to take my wrists once again and to hold them above my head, forcing me to keep my hands off of his body. He let out a low groan against my lips, his body sliding over my own and his free hand slowly dipped beneath the waistband of my panties.

My breath hitched in my throat as he began to rub at my clit, his fingers exploring quickly as he wet them upon my own juices. He slid a curious finger inside of me, prompting a moan from me before he added another, the second adding pressure and filling me just a little more.

I twisted a little in his arms, feeling his hand as it tightened upon my wrists, and let out another moan as he slid a third and final finger inside of me, continuing on until he had found a rhythm that I matched with my hips. As his fingers began their descent within me, my hips rose, my sex clenching around the long digits greedily, the muscles desperate for the contact.

Loki's mouth moved downwards, over my throat and to my breasts. He released my wrists, beginning to fondle me again as his mouth travelled across my bare chest, claiming the sensitive skin between his teeth as his fingers continued to plunge themselves deep within me.

I ground my teeth together, writhing beneath him as he teased one of my nipples, his fingers painful as he twisted it. His eyes rose to meet my own once as I dug my fingers into the upholstery of the fabric, moaning as his thumb began rubbing at my clit vigorously and he smirked, thrusting his fingers with more force now.

Yelping as his fingers pushed deep within me, painful, I seized a fistful of his hair, pulling at it and Loki growled in frustration against the skin of my chest. I held on tight to him anyway, ignoring the order he'd given to keep my hands off of him. Twisting in his arms as he gave another particularly rough thrust with his fingers, I pulled at his hair desperately, my fingers knotted in the long dark hair as I cried out.

He snarled, the noise low in his throat and then began to rub my clit with his thumb a little harder, pressuring it until I was writhing in his arms, hands tugging his hair while he continued, bringing me to the very edge of reason. I groaned, body tensing and he continued on, his hand deep within my panties now as he carried out the rhythm he'd found, teasing me and coaxing me all the way to the point of climax.

He lifted his head, his lips hovering near my ear as I mewled, on the very edge of coming for him, "Don't," he breathed in my ear, "don't you dare come now."

I opened my eyes, staring at him, confused by the request. "Loki," I groaned, "I-I -" I broke off, back arching as his fingers curled within me, making a motion similar to a beckon. My chest pressed to his own and I moaned, holding fast to the hair at the nape of his neck and squeezed my eyes shut, biting on my lower lip desperately. I didn't know how to keep from coming, how was that even possible?

"I am to be responsible for your release," he growled in my ear, "when I've had my fill of you and you beg me, I shall offer it to you, but no sooner. You'll wait."

I gasped and his hand slipped out from my panties, moving to his belt now.

"Please," I mumbled numbly, pushing my panties away from my hips, exposing myself to him. "I can come again, I'm just so close now," I breathed.

He looked at me as he dropped his trousers, a sneer curling his upper lip as he stared down at me. I wasn't sure if it was because of the request or because of the fact that he now loomed above me, his cock hard and poised to enter me. He pulled my legs apart, spreading me before himself and snickered, "You ought've kept your hands to yourself then, Raleigh," he replied, his voice low.

His hands grasped my waist tight and he lifted me just enough to angle my hips towards him to drive himself in deeper. His eyes remained locked on my own as he entered me for the first time and I tilted my head back, closing my eyes as he filled me. He moved slowly, testing me for as anticipated he was large, and I grabbed at the back of the sofa, nails dragging across the upholstery as he came up to his hilt.

I groaned, feeling him as he moved inside of me, and then he pulled himself back briefly before beginning again. The thrust was harder now, shorter, and I grasped at air as I moaned; Loki continued, his pace quickening and growing more forceful as he went.

I lifted myself up just enough to grip his shoulders and he dropped my hips, instead pressing his body to mine as he continued to thrust himself deep within me. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, biting and sucking at the skin until it was raw and red while I pulled on his hair, gritting my teeth and moaning as he moved against me, his hips meeting mine over and over.

Loki's thrusts were harsh, rough, and I cried out loudly as he entered me, plunging himself deep within me, all the way to his hilt. Heat filled my middle and I panted, chest heaving as I took in a deep breath, dragging my lips across Loki's cheek.

I traced my fingers over the scars on his body, earning a grunted "ge'off" and my hands brushed aside; I tried again, only to have him pull my hands away from his chest roughly, wrenching my arms around as his hands grew tight on my wrists.

"Turn over," he snarled suddenly, pulling out for just a few moments. Loki released my hands, pulled me up on all fours as I obeyed, rolling onto my stomach, and held to my waist as I perched upon my hands and knees. He resumed his previous rhythm, now thrusting himself deeper inside of me as his hands slid over my middle possessively, teasing at my breasts. I whimpered, bracing a hand against the arm of the sofa and felt one of his hands knot in my hair, pulling at it as he continued to pound into me, his cock filling me.

I moaned. "Loki," I whined, "oh God, please."

"Tell me that I am your King," he growled in my ear.

"You're my King," I conceded, a blush scorching my cheeks as the words left my lips; it was shameful, all of this felt shameful suddenly. Having him inside of me, pulling on my hair, his thrusts painful and harsh. "Just...please, slow down. It hurts."

He didn't bother to respond to me nor did he slow his pace. Every thrust hurt, was too rough for me, and I cried out as he plunged himself deep within me. I grabbed for him over my shoulder, finding a fistful of the hair that covered the top of his head and held tight to it, whimpering.

"I'm gonna -"

"_Enough_!" Loki snapped back, silencing me, "I will tell you when to come." He grew quiet, the only noise coming from behind me the occasional grunt as he thrust himself inside of me, deeper, harder than ever and I trembled in his arms, barely able to contain myself any longer. I groaned, throwing my hips back to meet his cock as he slammed forward, my sex clenching around his cock greedily.

He pulled on my hair again, his fingers teasing at my clit as he carried on. I cried out, my body aching and desperate for him to finish, to have his fill of me so that I might be free to come. My clit was so incredibly sensitive by now, the lightest touch sent spasms down my spine and my groans were growing louder as he continued; he buried his cock deep within me, moving inside of me as he shifted around. I bit my lower lip, withholding a moan and quivered, unable to contain myself for any longer.

As Loki thrust himself forward again I came, my muscles clenching tightly before unwinding, releasing myself upon his cock - I could feel his hesitation as I orgasmed, how he froze for a split second before he began to pound into me again, his body bearing down upon my own as I shook, muscles weak and tired, my body heavy.

"You aren't worthy of me, are you, Raleigh?" his voice was husky and when I didn't respond, he thrust himself against me with such force that I yelped, clamping my eyes shut. "Tell me."

I shook my head, biting down on my lip.

"Say it," he breathed in my ear, his voice commanding. "Tell me that you are not worthy of me."

I gritted my teeth, the shame washing over me again as I gave in, "I'm not worthy of you," I mumbled.

"Louder, Raleigh," he hissed in my ear, his hips still thrusting roughly against mine as I tried to match the rhythm, to ease the discomfort. "Say it louder; you didn't heed my warning."

He plowed his way inside of me once again and, keening, I shook my head quickly, my voice louder now, "I'm not worthy of you."

"Beg me," he snarled in my ear, "beg me to love you."

I trembled, my body throbbing as he moved his body against mine. "Please," I whined, "please, Loki, I want you to love me, please." He pulled at my hair, tilting my head backwards and his mouth claimed my throat, his teeth biting at the skin. "I need you," I continued, wracking my brain for anything that might have gotten him off. I went with my gut as he thrust himself deeper, all the way up to his hilt, "I need you more than anyone else ever has. Please, I don't deserve you but love me, love me because I love you."

I hadn't just said that had I?

I had. I had said I loved him.

However there was no time for me to dwell upon it, no time to consider it even through drunken musing for he said nothing, there was no swift punishment, just him burying himself inside of me rapidly, hips meeting mine with enough force to bring me to the brink of tears as he carried on. He continued to move deep inside of me despite my pleading for him to slow, even my suggestion of oral was dismissed with another rough jerk of his hips, and I eventually grew quiet, my body taking each of his, mewling as he fucked me, obeying him.

Loki's chest pressed to my back, his lips hovering near my ear as his hips jerked against mine, a strange hesitation in the movement. He was close then - he was finally on the edge. I could feel another orgasm coming on as well though and knew, even drunk, that there was no way Loki would ever allow himself to come when I was so close to it myself.

"Come for me, Raleigh," he breathed in my ear, "come for me now." I could feel his fingers on my clit and I shook in his arms, whining at the touch as my body inched closer to yielding to the command. "Now," he growled, his hips pounding against mine again.

I quivered, feeling him as he jerked his hips once again, the movement quicker and shorter, his breath labored. He thrust himself inside of me and came with a cry of his own, emptying himself within me and a few moments later, as he rubbed my clit vigorously, growling in my ear commands to come, my muscles contracted, tensing, and I let out a groan as the release took hold, sending me over the edge, climaxing again.

Loki slowly pulled out, his body heavy as we collapsed on the sofa together, still lying on top of me. I closed my eyes, listening to him as he breathed and gradually took it all in as my world reeled around me: the smell of sweat and sex heavy in the air, a musk that each of us wore, the taste of alcohol, of Loki, in my mouth, the sensations that ran through my body as I remained beneath him, body heavy with exhaustion.

His breathing was deeply, panting, and he stayed on top of me, his body soaked with sweat while I pressed my cheek to the fabric of the sofa, trying to regain some senses beyond this, beyond the melancholy feeling I was now left with. Sex wasn't supposed to leave me feeling oddly off, it was supposed to leave me satisfied, happy….

He moved slowly, getting up and I watched as he left me, my eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. Loki made his way across the living room, pulling a blanket from a trunk that sat beneath the window; he returned to me and draped it over my body. I stared up at him as he made sure my body was covered by the blanket, understanding at last through the haze of alcohol and pheromones that the god standing above me had no intention of loving anyone but himself.

* * *

I opened my eyes the following morning slowly, feeling horrific. The vodka hadn't settled well with me and I quickly rolled over, scrambling from the sofa and bolted into the bathroom. I lifted the toilet lid as I made it into the small powder room, dropping to my knees, and buried my face in the bowl, heaving up the previous night's bottle of Smirnoff.

The smell burned in my nose as it came back up and I dragged in a ragged breath as my stomach stopped expelling the alcohol for a moment. Clinging to the rim of the toilet bowl for dear life, I gradually became aware of just how much my body hurt.

I lifted my gaze to my arms as I finished another stint of puking and my eyes fell upon bruises covering my wrists and forearms; my gaze traveled down to my legs and they, too, were covered with bruises. I couldn't remember a time when it hurt so much to crouch down; I stared at my body, horrified by how easily it had broken beneath Loki when a fresh wave of nausea hit me.

I quickly ducked down in the toilet again, vomiting whatever else I had managed to drink the previous night. I could remember a mojito, shots of vodka, chasing the shots with more alcohol, and I was vaguely certain I'd managed to crown the whole night off with a couple of tequila shooters. It wasn't my greatest moment, I knew that much, and as far as I was concerned, I would never drink again. My head pounded painfully as I tried to recall just how much alcohol I had consumed; it was an absolute miracle I hadn't just keeled over from it, though the pain that radiated through my body made me wish I had. Had I passed out, there wouldn't have been any awful sex to remember and I bitterly wished that the previous night could have been forgotten because of alcohol.

But no, I was stuck with a full memory of it - every painful thrust of his hips, his teeth on my skin, his rough handling of my body. I could remember every last bit down to how he refused my intimacy, how he avoided sweet nothings, and took selfishly, demandingly. I rested my forehead on the cool porcelain, reaching up to the handle of the toilet with one clammy hand, my arm aching, to flush. I sighed heavily and slowly got to my feet, using the wall for support when my thigh muscles throbbed, weak, and then slowly approached the mirror that hung above the sink, movements stiff.

Turning the water on, I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair stuck up at odd angles, mussed and knotted jet black tresses falling around my face in a mess while my makeup was smeared and worn upon my face. I leaned forward over the sink, my lower abs protesting, and cupped my hands beneath the water. I slowly rinsed my face with the warm water, scrubbing away the old makeup that had been left behind; I rubbed my eyes quickly ridding them of the smudged eyeshadow and faint traces of eyeliner then rinsed my hands off before washing my face for a second time.

I felt horribly dirty, but more than that, I felt like I was missing part of myself. It was like a small piece of me was completely out of the equation, hiding, ignoring me as I stood, stark naked and sore, and merely went about its business elsewhere.

It was the part of me that would have gone back out to wake Loki and demand to know why he had behaved so horribly, would have demanded to know why he was so rough with me, would have fought tooth and nail against him from jump. But I didn't. A heavy weight had settled in my stomach and I stared down at the wash basin, watching as water droplets fell from the tip of my nose into the small pool of water at the bottom of the sink as it spun down the drain.

I twisted the sink's handles, cutting the water off and then rested my hands on either side of the basin, head hanging. If there was a bright side to everything, then it was that I surely wouldn't be getting pregnant with his child regardless of my neglecting any birth control. Surely that made up for my lack of sexual satisfaction? The fact that it was absolutely impossible, according to Loki himself, that I could get pregnant from his seed had to be equal to an orgasm from good sex in terms of positive things, right?

_Oh who was I kidding? _I let out a bitter laugh and then reached for my toothbrush, wishing to rid myself of the taste of vomit and a fine film of bad breath that covered my tongue.

I looked over my body in the mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door as I squeezed out some toothpaste and then began to brush my teeth. My torso was, for the most part okay. There were some marks that had been left when he began to bite at my skin and my neck was also home to several ‑ well, lovebites were not the word I would have used to describe them, hickeys were far more on par as far as I was concerned. Hickey seemed like a much more detached and far less intimate a word, little less than just what those marks represented which was possession. He had marked me as his own not once, not twice, but over several times.

My breasts were tender to the touch and my nipples still sore from the way his hands had pinched and squeezed at the skin while I'd writhed beneath him, mewling and begging for it. As my fingers brushed over them, I winced, the pain shooting through me.

I pulled my hand back and frowned deeply, spitting into the sink and then returned to the mirror, angling one of my legs out to inspect the bruises that were left there. The area was tender, throbbing painfully beneath my touch as I slid my fingers over the purple splotches and inspected the damage.

His hands had also bruised my hips, though I was perhaps most disgusted to find that I'd bled. I had barely bled my first time when I had been with James and yet my upper thighs, near my sore groin, were stained with dried blood.

I spit again, then rinsed both the toothbrush and my mouth, feeling incredibly guilty. I felt dirty, unclean, like I'd been the one to bring all this harm to my body. But hadn't it been me who had allowed for this to happen? Who had encouraged it when he had initially refused? I was responsible, wasn't I? No, he should have heeded my requests to slow his pace, to be gentler, it wasn't my fault. It was both of ours, but still, staring at my body ‑ tender breasts, bruised legs that were normally so strong, and heavy, aching arms that I'd thought possessed a wiry strength.

How could I have let myself get into bed with a man that would do this?

Jenny had spotting occasionally that she complained about but no real bleeding; I might've forgiven spotting if it weren't for the fact that I could remember every single painful thrust that fell from Loki's hips. More than that though, I could remember the way he had paid no mind to me even when I urged him to take it easier, told him that he was being too rough.

Clearly everything he had said about my body being "too weak" was true. I was entirely battered, bruised, and bloodied, my mind barely any less of a wreck than my body. I trudged out into the living area, grimacing with each step that I took, and for the first time realized that Loki was nowhere to be found.

It was yet another slap in the face on top of everything else, the fact that he hadn't even bothered to spend the night with me. I had slept on the sofa by myself, a thin blanket as my only companion.


	11. The Resignation of Choice

_Usual disclaimer, I own nothing.___

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: The Resignation of Choice**

We drove back to London on New Year's Day.

I wasn't entirely sure why Loki had insisted upon driving, because it required him to fork out a good amount of money to rent a car and then to sit beside me in the front while I drove in silence, the only noise in the car coming from the stereo. I was of the impression that he simply wanted to see what it was like to drive, but I also wasn't willing to put it past him that he simply wanted to bide his time in returning to London.

The trip was long, gradually stretching into hours, and I maintained the same stony disposition I had adopted since his waking on Christmas Eve and coming down the stairs to me where I'd slept upon the sofa. I hadn't quite found the energy or the time to attempt to speak to him about the night of the sofa, but I was still patiently waiting for the right moment to broach the subject of 'How Not to Have Sex 101' with Loki.

My anger had long since waned, leaving behind a sullen depression, though I wasn't about to admit it to him. In truth, I simply wanted him to understand that I was hurt and more than that, that I wasn't indestructible, which he must've been used to.

Perhaps Asgardian women were into it? The thought crossed my mind as I continued to drive through the New Year's Day traffic on the motorway and I sighed heavily, sparing a glance at Loki where he sat beside me, watching as the bare trees whipped by, lost from sight in a moment.

He seemed so incredibly oblivious to my resenting him for it, how he didn't quite understand the sheer impact of his words or lack thereof, of his actions especially, I couldn't understand. How was it that he just took this all in like it was a normal day? It wasn't a normal day. It was the holiday, a holiday that had started all too perfectly, and yet we were more at odds than we ever had been before.

I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand him, I just wanted it all to end and to be done with. As long as he was around, he reminded me of that night, made me resent myself in ways that I couldn't quite place and I longed horribly to loathe him for it, but could barely muster up enough rage to chide him for his brusque attitude lately. However it needed to happen, I wanted to find the damn Book and to find it soon, for the sooner I found it, the sooner I would be rid of him and could, perhaps, forget the memory of that night and begin to become myself once more.

* * *

I shouldered my duffel bag as I finished unlocking the door to our flat and then made my way inside, not bothering to wait for Loki who trailed after me, still entirely disaffected. I dropped my bag onto the floor, then made my way over to the refrigerator, pulling it open to begin my search for food and drink. I could hear his footsteps coming down the hall as I pulled a carton of smoothie out from the fridge's door as well as a cup of yoghurt.

I turned to look at him, realizing that he had stopped and stayed perfectly still, my eyes locking on his own.

"Did you have a good holiday?" he asked me.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and began to open the yoghurt instead, fishing a spoon out from one of the drawers, and then leaned back against the counter, slowly spooning some of the yoghurt into my mouth. He watched me, his eyes suspicious and I gave him a small shrug.

"It was all right," I told him and it was true. Save for the one glaring flaw being our time together in bed, I couldn't think of a single thing that had been wrong with the trip itself.

Loki cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing, "Only all right?"

I shrugged again, then spooned another mouthful of yoghurt.

He slowly shrugged his coat off, his eyes traveling towards the bedroom and almost immediately the strawberry yoghurt in my mouth soured. He wasn't going to think about suggesting it, was he?

He was. For he came forward, plucking the yoghurt from my hands, and then took one of my hands in his own, a mischievous smile on his face as he pulled me towards the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, trying my very best to refrain from verbal assault.

Loki smirked at me, pulling me in close to himself. His hands grasped my waist tightly and I let out a small gasp when he pulled my body flush against his own, my hands falling against his chest where they rested as he stared down at me, the smirk not having left his face yet.

"I thought you might care to join me," he murmured, his eyes traveling towards our bedroom once more, "I'm really very sure I could make you reconsider your answer if you let me."

I didn't speak, only stared. He couldn't possibly be serious. I had spent a week practically avoiding him, avoiding contact with him, avoiding sex when it was clear that he was expecting another go round with hurried asides and sudden needs to sleep or run errands. Yet he really thought I wanted this? That I wanted him?

I fumed in his arms at the prospect, but remained perfectly still, a part of me curious to see what he was about to do, how he planned to continue this. I knew he had tired of playing nice, that if I were to make another haphazard excuse he'd likely refuse it and proceed to throw me down in bed to have his way, but I still wanted to see what he planned to do, how he planned to make me come to bed.

He bowed his head, his lips gentle against my throat, and I let out a soft noise, hands tightening on his shirt as he kissed at the bare skin. His tongue slid over the skin beneath my ear, his lips pressing to the spot slowly, sensually even, and I closed my eyes, remaining still in his arms.

"Would you not care for that?" he asked me, his voice a hushed whisper in my ear.

The words were out before I could stop myself, "No, I wouldn't."

Almost immediately, I felt the warmth of his body twist away, my hands brushed away roughly and my eyes opened to find Loki was staring at me, his face unreadable. I couldn't tell if the twisted look I was receiving was hurt or anger, if he understood fully, and so I remained where I stood, staring at him.

"Why?" his voice was low, his eyes narrowing as he spoke. "Am I not a satisfactory enough lover for you?"

The way the words sounded...he wasn't being genuine, they were mocking, scathing, and I felt a twinge of anger at the realization. I set my jaw, hands balling into fists, and then forced myself to speak, "You're...you're too rough."

It had sounded much different in my head whenever I told him this. Usually it was angrier, usually it didn't sound so pathetically timid, it didn't come out in a hoarse, almost hushed tone. But for as angry as I was, as upset as I was, I found myself terrified of just how he planned on reacting to my words.

His brow furrowed for a moment before it seemed to dawn upon him and to my horror, he began to laugh at me. Still laughing, he moved forward quickly, grabbed me about the waist, and lifted me into the air as I yelped, twisting in his grasp, then set me down on the table, blocking me from escaping with both arms set firmly beside me.

"I didn't pleasure you?" he arched an eyebrow. I was silent, staring at him with wide eyes. He sounded genuine, but the look on his face was perhaps one of the most dangerous expressions I had ever seen him wear. He leaned in, his mouth claiming my own and I loathed how easily my body reacted to the touch, my traitorous mouth opening before he had so much as tried to coax me into doing so. His tongue slid into my mouth and he kissed me deeply, one hand pressing to the base of my spine as he did so. He pulled me in closer to himself, pulling my legs open as he did so, and then broke the kiss abruptly, growling, "Answer me, Raleigh."

I gaped, the sounds that I managed to form were stutters, mumblings, and I finally shook my head at him, "I-I ‑"

Loki's mouth pressed against my throat again and I let out a soft whimper at the touch, hating him, hating myself for reacting like this. It wasn't fair. He knew that I wanted him now, that I needed him.

"Tell me again how I do not pleasure you," he told me, pulling back, his eyes locked on my own. He reached out, one hand curiously toying with my left breast while I sat in shock; he hummed low in his throat once, his lips pursing as if dissatisfied, and to my horror I felt a sudden draft. I glanced down at my torso only to redden furiously as I found he had cast away my jumper and undershirt with magic, leaving me in my bra.

He smiled at me, "Don't be shy, Raleigh," he purred, his hands resting on my thighs; he pulled me in even closer to his body now and I allowed him to, paralyzed. I wasn't sure if it was fear or if it was simply desire - for whether I wanted to admit it or not, there was a part of me, a very stupid part of me, that still wanted him. He lifted one hand and slid his thumb across the smooth flesh of my breast, his thumb sliding into the cup of my bra where he easily toyed with my already taut nipple while his other fingers pulled the cup down to bare my breast to him.

"It was different before," I argued, finding my voice suddenly, and Loki arched an eyebrow, his expression all too amused. "You know what I'm talking about."

His laugh was quiet, his gaze falling back to my chest where he was in the midst of unhooking my bra strap, "Raleigh, you mustn't get so uptight about these things." I pushed his hands away, flushing at the words and he rolled his eyes, scoffing, "For the love of Nine, don't act virtuous now."

I slapped him. It wasn't something I had meant to do, but the words had lit a new fire within me, anger leaping at my insides and white-hot. My palm stung angrily as I let it fall back to my side and Loki stared at me, his mouth agape before his face clouded over, darkening.

"You dare to complain?" his voice turned angry and he wrenched me forward, his hands tight on my arms. "You throw blows and dare to whine like a child when I return what you deal?"

"I-I didn't mean to," I spluttered, adding meekly, "I'm sorry."

Loki's eyes narrowed and he didn't bother to release his hold on me. I forced myself to keep holding his gaze despite how terrified I felt, locked into this position with him, his groin resting so easily against the inside of my thigh. He was straining against the fabric of his trousers already and I forced my mind away from the prospect of being forced into anything; even if he was above that, the thought disturbed me, scared me.

"Do you truly think yourself so virtuous?" he asked me. I stared at him, not willing to answer and so he continued, "Do you, Raleigh?" he pulled me in closer, his grasp a little rougher than necessary, and held tight to me as our bodies pressed together. "For I assure you, getting you to spread your legs is a far easier task than you might imagine."

My hand raised again as my cheeks burned but this time he moved faster, his mouth claiming my own, kissing me roughly and I let out a frustrated growl against his lips when his hand wrapped around my wrist.

"We do not hit, Raleigh," he breathed against my lips. "Do so again and I will not show you mercy."

I had no time to reply to his threat, to try to formulate a response to it, for his mouth had fastened firmly over mine once more and he kissed me deeply, his hold vice-like. I moved to pull my head back when his other hand knotted in my hair, keeping me tight to him, keeping my mouth to his, and so I nipped at his tongue.

The god yelped, a sound I hadn't anticipated and he recoiled, jerking away from me quickly. I could taste blood in my mouth and he glowered, his eyes narrowing into thin slits, "You claim I was a lousy lay, yet you were possibly the most horribly pathetic, attention starved woman I've ever laid hands upon. You pretend to know intimacy, to know the heat of passion, yet you cry like a virgin when you aren't swept from your feet by a man."

I stared at him, exasperated, my cheeks flaming red at his words. "You have got to be kidding me," I hissed through clenched teeth, "you whined and begged and pleaded with me for months to have sex. And when I finally did it, you acted like I was nothing to you. You practically abused me and you didn't even care about me!"

He snorted, "If you think for a second that all the work I had to put into getting you to spread your legs for me was worth it, you would be wrong, Raleigh. And more than that, I truly don't give a damn as to whether or not you feel I cared for you - I've explained this to you in the past, we must look to bring ourselves pleasure. Your inability to find any in what I offered you is not my problem, it's simply yours and lends to the fact that you're inexperience has made you weak and sniveling."

I gaped at him, a lump rising in my throat at the words. Don't cry, I told myself as I took a deep breath. Don't cry.

I willed myself to keep from letting the tears leak down my face, steeling my gaze against Loki's as he stared down his nose at me. I'd always known he was mean but I'd never anticipated him being nasty. Not to me anyway.

"You're such an asshole sometimes," I managed to choke out. My voice quivered, a dead give away for him and he moved in for the kill.

"You horribly pathetic little girl," he spat at me. "Are you truly so daft? You thought I might be more? That I could be more for you? How foolish. You are no better than your fellows, you are so horribly starved for attention and love that you're willing to allow any man the chance. How does it make me the - as you put it - asshole when in reality it is you spreading your legs for me? You begging me to fill you? How, Raleigh?" When I didn't respond he smirked, snarling, "You brought me upon yourself. Pretend all you like that I am the bad man in this, we both know the reality. We both understand that you're a simpering little wench, but carry on with your victimization and your demonizing me. But do remember there was a time when you asked for it, you begged me to dominate you like a cat in heat."

"I-I told you to slow down. You didn't care!" I stammered.

Loki ignored me, "Do you remember it?" he asked me. "How you begged me to give you release?" I froze, my jaw tightening at the words. "Do you remember how you begged me to love you? How you told me you weren't worthy of me?"

"I'm worth ten of you," I told him without thinking. "I - you really think you have everything so figured out. But you're here aren't you? You're stuck here with all these humans that you hate because everyone on Asgard thinks you're a monster." His face blanched at the words but I kept going. "They all think you're worthless and that you aren't worthy of any of your titles. And you aren't. You are a monster and you're a foul, rotten, selfish man. If you're so goddamn smart and so fucking special then how come you're here? How come you're slumming it with pathetic, attention starved mortals like me?"

Before he could respond to me, I slid off the table, shoved my way past him, and grabbed my jumper from where it lay on the floor. I felt his hand on my arm as I straightened and was quickly wheeled around, facing him again, "I will tell you when you can go."

"Your deal doesn't extend to sex," I hissed at him, far angrier than I could ever have anticipated being.

He laughed, mirthless, "And where in our deal did we ever agree to that?" he asked me lowly. "Your carte blanche does not extend to sex, however, our deal maintains that you are mine."

"I'm _not_ yours!" I replied, my voice going up an octave.

"Is that a fact?" his brow furrowed and he pulled me in, "Do you truly believe that you are not mine?" I shook my head, confident of the answer, and he smirked, "I thought as much; you're so easily fooled."

"What does that mean?" I asked him, pressing my lips together in a thin line.

"Your kind are so very easy to subjugate," he replied, his voice barely more than a growl. He lifted me up and I twisted, squirming in his arms, "Stop this now," he ordered, his voice stern, "I needn't be so kind to you, Raleigh."

I stilled, bracing my hands against his shoulders, and stared at him, panicked, "Loki, please stop."

"Shush, Raleigh," he muttered, "I'm not about to hurt you." A small bit of relief washed over me at the words but I remained still, waiting for him to go on. "I've no desire to hurt or maim you, though your impertinence is certainly warrants such action," he continued, "but no, I simply desire you obey me as is in your nature."

"It's not my nature," I argued, beginning to deflate, my anger ebbing away as he held me aloft, "it's not human nature either."

"Is it not?" he sounded amused. "Be serious now, Raleigh, you must realize that your society, your behavior, it all points to a natural desire to be ruled, to be dominated. You follow the laws of a state blindly, like sheep to slaughter you humans follow your masters to war and obey with such obedience. Yet you never question this authority despite all of its misdeeds against you and your fellows. You never desire to ask who might deserve the power of violence over your species? Who might not? You are content to be ruled, content to be led as part of a mass."

I was quiet, staring at him as he pressed my back to the kitchen wall, and then shook my head, "That's not true. We have revolutions all the time."

"And new power emerges that soon becomes as powerful as the old," he murmured, "you give your freedom so easily. It isn't you alone, it's your nature, I'm afraid, and a very regrettable nature indeed. Like animals, the animals that you are, you simply follow an alpha ‑ and that alpha has the power to kill you, does it not? To determine your fate? To determine how you might exercise your supposed rights? But what of when the alpha desires to remove those rights, Raleigh? How often do your people fight back?"

I shook my head, "You're talking about politics, this is completely different from you and I and sex, Loki."

"No, it isn't," he told me, "you threw away your freedom, your choice, in the name of life. Life, mind, for men who desired to subjugate you, to possibly go so far as to kill you themselves, and yet you still sacrificed yourself for them. Do you truly think yourself so noble for such a stupid, senseless act?"

"They ‑" I broke off, unable to think of a response. "I didn't throw away my freedom. I can still say no, I still have a choice."

"Do you?" Loki's eyebrows went up once more. "You know just as well as I do that you have, that your life belongs to me now. I have allowed you to live, have promised to continue to allow you to live, I hold your future in my hands just as your beloved society holds it. You have bargained your freedom for subjugation in the name of life for men that are hardly fit to call themselves more than animals. Your choices are merely an extension of my generosity, they could be gone just as easily as anything else you might have that I or your people have power over."

"What do you want?" I asked him, defeated and already aware of the answer.

Surprise flickered across his face for a moment, then he answered simply, "You."

"And what if I don't want you?" I whispered to him.

Loki frowned at me, "I needn't have your permission if you are mine and as you are, I needn't worry about what you want."

"But -" I faltered, unsure of how to continue on. It all was right, _he_ was right. Everything I'd done, I'd done for the idea of justice, but I kept on allowing myself to be subjugated, to have him control me, to be controlled by an endless circle of people ‑ my mother, Loki, Jenny, the list seemed endless as I thought about it.

I had no choice.

I had no free will.

I had sacrificed my free will with my mother since the day I had disembarked my flight from New York, forever at odds with her over my future, but silent in my protests, only obediently doing as she wished.

I had sacrificed my free will with Jenny for as long as I could remember. She led while I blindly followed, rarely complaining and quick to falter when argument seemed inevitable.

And I had sacrificed my free will with Loki that night in the alleyway, resigned myself to a fate where I faced death, where I was left to serve his every beckon call.

"Precisely," he murmured, "now then, do your duty."

* * *

I opened my eyes the next morning, my body sore and heavy with every movement, protesting in vain as I rolled over in bed. I stared at Loki where he lay beside me, his bare back gently illuminated by the daylight that leaked through the windows. I stilled, simply staring at him for some time and reached out nervously, my fingertips tracing down over his spine.

He didn't move, just continued on in his slumber instead and so I pressed the palm of my hand to his back, silently marveling at how warm he felt even when I knew that beneath the smooth, pale flesh was an ice-cold Jotun. I eventually brought my hand back, then rolled over on my back, staring at the ceiling as I tried in vain to ignore the thoughts that were racing through my brain.

Everything he'd said about me was right.

I was weak, I let people control me, control my life, make my choices, and I hadn't even tried to fight him in the end, I simply had had sex with him, hoping it might clear my head for a short while. It had, for at least a while I had been more preoccupied with Loki and his insatiable sexual appetite, though it ended much the same way our sex on Christmas Eve had.

It hadn't been as painful, but I could see fresh bruises on my skin from where he had held me too tightly and the space between my legs felt dirty, likely caked with blood and the seed that he had left. When we had finally finished, sometime in the early hours of the morning, he'd simply dismissed me as he had before, though he hadn't left me again. Of course, it was just as likely due to his having brought me into the bedroom for the last time.

I rubbed my face wearily, anger burning my insides as I thought about it all. If I was to be angry with anyone, I was to be angry with myself. Loki I could fight with as much as I pleased, but what did it matter? He wouldn't have forced me to my knees or into any other position, he'd threaten it, but I knew he wouldn't consider it seriously. He'd simply bully me as he always did until I caved in. He had no desire to take by force for he'd never find pleasure in that; he wanted a girl who was willing, desperate, weak, and as it happened, I fit the bill in every way he liked.

I sat up in bed, keeping the blankets wrapped around myself as I did so and winced, feeling my muscles ache with each move I made. I looked down at Loki where he slept, his face soft as he continued to doze, peaceful.

He had nightmares.

I hadn't thought much about them, but I knew he had them. There were nights when I would wake beside him to find that he was sitting up, shaking, a cold sweat dripping from his body while he buried his face in his hands, attempting to calm himself. There had been other times when I had come into bed late, only to hear him murmur in his sleep, his voice fearful, the words lost on me. He dreamt in Asgardian mostly, rarely in English, but I knew enough about a tone to know that more than once I had come upon him when he was in the middle of a nightmare.

And still there were other nights when I would wake after he thrashed about in bed, but remained silent, listening to him as he rattled in breaths, feeling as he shuddered, and occasionally playing dumb when he crawled near to me, nudging me awake sometimes while other times he simply rested his head upon my shoulder.

Although there was a part of me that hated him, that thought him selfish and arrogant and mean, I still wished to understand the nightmares, to know why he had them, and I would have been lying if I were to say that I didn't enjoy knowing that my presence brought him some comfort. It was because of his nightmares, which I had learned about not long after moving into the flat, that I decided he had been so keen on having me live with him. When he was alone, it was worse, but with me, he had someone to press close to, to find comfort within despite his aversion to admitting such a thing.

I was a human, but I still had a purpose and it appeared that he had found me to be similar to a teddy bear, or so I imagined. It was extremely rare that he slept away from me, extremely rare that he would sleep before I had retired for the night, but it was even rarer to find that he stayed asleep for the full night. He had this night. He'd fallen to sleep before I had and I hadn't woken to him shouting or crying out, I hadn't felt him stir violently or sit up abruptly. He'd simply slept.

I pushed the covers away from my body, slowly crawling from bed, and then began to pad around the room, doing my best to remain silent while Loki slept. He was everything I hated: spoiled, kept, selfish, mean, controlling, demanding, but I couldn't help but think he was little less than a child. He was horribly intelligent, but I really did think that having grown up a Prince of Asgard had left him with a sense of entitlement, with a childish idea of want and need, and I resented him for it.

It wasn't fair of me to resent him for it, but I did anyway. I resented how he found it strange and confusing to cook or clean for himself, how he demanded things and expected to be waited upon, how he had mood swings and was brusque but still expected me to be obedient or kind towards him.

Obedient.

The word turned my stomach over as the previous night flooded back to me and I closed my eyes tightly, wishing the thoughts away, the memories of him being right, of him knowing that I was weak and cowardly.

I pulled a fresh pair of clothes from my dresser, slowly pulling on the clean things. I could shower later. I wanted to be free, to get out, to have a bit of time to myself even if it seemed absolutely pointless, but the longer I was trapped in the flat, the more desperate I felt.

I turned back to him as I pulled a clean jumper over my head and slowly made my way over to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress beside him. I reached out, smoothing his hair gently, and remained where I sat, simply staring at him.

He shifted, sighing deeply as he moved about in bed and his hand ‑ to my surprise ‑ landed where I usually laid. "Raleigh," he sighed softly in his sleep, his eyes still closed, his face just as peaceful as ever and I stilled, surprised. He dreamt of _me_?

I wanted desperately to hate him - to hate all of him and not just the parts that I saw fit to resent - to loathe him, and refuse him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't force myself to do it either. Every feeling I had lately for Loki was conflicted, choked, caught between resentment for his nature and a slow growing adoration. It had to be lust fueled, had to be driven by any desire for him I had, I told myself, but I didn't know. I didn't know why I found his mischievous smile attractive or why I liked to lay beside him in bed or why I allowed him to incessantly bother the neighbors with pranks that grew with his magic when I normally would have been aghast by his actions.

It wasn't love, I couldn't love him. For one it was far too soon to consider such a prospect even lightly, but more than that, he had given me absolutely no reason to love him. And I couldn't think, couldn't believe, that I might fall in love with someone who offered me no reason to love him. It seemed outrageous, even a bit impossible.

You weren't supposed to love someone until they gave you reason to and while Loki had given me many things, a reason to love him was not one of them.

I smoothed his hair again, then got to my feet and headed for the bedroom door. I needed air, time to think, time to recover from everything. I hesitated at the door, staring at him for a moment before I slipped out of the room in the hopes of clearing my head.

* * *

_A/N: Please R&R! I always appreciate it and it really just makes my day to know what you think of the chapters I've posted. :) Also, if you missed it, I did post a little goodie (as promised) that I may or may not toy with in the future which you can find here: _

_ s/8561683/1/Nothing-At-All_


	12. A Backbone of Iron

**Chapter Twelve: A Backbone of Iron**

Stark Industries.

The tall building stretched upwards, its steel skeleton glinting brightly in the winter sun as it stretched towards the sky, workers moving around quickly, shouting orders as they carried out their daily duties of prettying the newest skyscraper that Tony Stark would soon call his own. They had yet to complete the very top as well as the outside gardens, which would soon house the _Stark_ logo, a shining beacon of energy and business for all of London to see.

I'd heard about it for some time, watched as it was built over the past eighteen months when I was in London or visiting, yet I'd never expected that my feet would take me here of all the places in the world.

It wasn't to officially be finished until June, but from what I heard, there was already a great deal of work going on inside of the large, beautiful building. Behind the reflective, clear glass were floors of research and development, scientists working long hours, computing complex mathematical equations, and somewhere close to the top was Tony Stark. He had flown into London the previous night, was caught by paparazzi and as "Iron Man landed in London," I had felt the childish want of my girlhood burrow deep within my chest.

I'd had a schoolgirl crush on Tony Stark for the better part of my teenage years, though I would never stand a chance with him. I wasn't pretty enough, nor would I ever be intelligent enough. No, I was simply the young woman that was now standing outside of a new branch of Stark Enterprises, sticking out like a sore thumb amid the hustle and bustle of London business suits and ties, the dull roar of a construction crew aiming to beat the impending winter rain, and the clicking of high heels upon the sidewalk almost as loud as the jackhammers that sounded nearby, breaking up the roadside, echoing in my ears.

I didn't belong here, not really. But I was here anyway and what point was there to my coming if I didn't at least look around? I'd be thrown out eventually, I was sure, but I could sit in the lobby at least and that was a far better sounding idea than returning to the flat I shared with Loki in Notting Hill.

So without a second thought, I headed towards the front doors of the tall building, slipping inside after a group of businessmen and women who were talking on their phones or sending emails, likely there to be a part of a board meeting. I kept my head down, instead darting off towards a rather comfortable looking leather sofa in the lobby. I dropped down onto the plush cushions, staring around the vast expanse of a lobby in wonder and nervously reached out for a magazine that was sitting on one of the glass tables. I picked it up, a small smile forming on my lips as I found Tony Stark's face staring back at me under a heading about the company's new environmental pursuits.

I opened up the magazine, stealing a few glances around the lobby curiously as I did so. There was an immense fountain across from the waiting area where I sat, built from dark marble, the same as the brightly polished floor tiles beneath my feet. From the walls hung expensive looking and abstract artwork, a painting of Howard Stark on another, and a handful of what looked like ficuses were placed strategically throughout the room for added warmth. They certainly livened the place up, for the walls were a bright white color, crisp and formal. Across the lobby, beyond a black marble desk where well put together men and women sat taking phone calls and directing the incoming stream of businesspeople were elevators that surely led upwards, to the conference room where Tony Stark was likely holding a board meeting at this very moment.

Part of me wanted to tempt fate, to try seeing if I could get to the elevators and go up, to explore the building, but another part of me, one that was sensible, knew I wouldn't be able to even touch the things before I was hauled out by one of the all too obvious security guards who stood at various positions throughout the lobby wearing black suits and ties, grim expressions on their faces.

So instead I bowed my head, forcing myself to read an article about arc reactor technology that had been written with Stark's assistance. I hated to read texts as complicated and out of my realm as this, it never failed to make me feel as though I were reading a "For Dummies" book and that I had nothing to offer the world in terms of intelligence.

I managed to sit there for some time, how long exactly I would never know, but the business suits continued to come in and out, occasionally mixed with those who were so clearly researchers, donning casual attire or square spectacles, so much less rigid than the perfectly groomed suits, and I continued to sit and to watch them for whatever reason. I didn't know if it was loneliness or if it was a strange fascination with the average person's life, a life I no longer could say I had, but it was oddly amusing and relaxing to watch them, to wonder what their greatest worries of the day were.

However, just as I had finally begun to grow comfortable and finished with the issue of _Popular Science _I had been reading a large security guard made his way over to where I was sitting, his face serious. I could feel my mouth go dry as he stopped a few feet away from where I sat, staring down his nose at me and I looked up at him, waiting for the words that were sure to come next.

"Is there a particular reason you're sitting here, madam?" he asked me, his voice was low but authoritative, commanding respect with every word. "You do realise this is a private institution?"

"Uh," I faltered, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, "yes," I nodded quickly, before wishing I could kick myself. What kind of answer was that?

"You have a reason to be here or you realise that this is a private institution?"

"I-I -" I hesitated, wracking my mind for an answer, searching wildly for a business suit to appear and head for the door, to make up a lie to escape without being made an example of. "I'm just waiting for someone that I'm here to see."

It was a stupid lie, one he could surely see right through, for his dark eyes narrowed and he looked around the lobby, "Who?" he asked curiously as he returned his attention to me. "What is their name? I will have them called down to see you if it is truly of serious importance."

I could feel a flush beginning to creep up my cheeks as I tried valiantly to think up a name that might work, that might buy me time to flee, and was in the midst of choking out sounds when a polite voice cut in.

"She's here to see me, Rudy, this is one of my intern candidates."

I watched as Rudy stepped aside and felt my eyes widen at the sight of Tony Stark standing there in the flesh. He wore a clean pressed suit, dark blue, with a pair of sunglasses tucked neatly into the chest pocket, and in his left hand was a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. He extended the box to Rudy, arching a curious eyebrow, and then looked down at me, "I'm terribly sorry for being late, but I heard there weren't any Dunkin Donuts in London and just wanted to be sure."

I managed a feeble smile and watched as he waved the box at Rudy, who was still giving me a suspicious look.

"Come on, big guy," Stark tapped the guard's arm with the donut box gently, "you look like you'd want one."

Rudy shook his head, stepping back from me, "No thank you, Mr. Stark." He shifted his gaze to me, his eyes telling me that he knew I was nothing more than a very lucky intruder and then said quietly, "Have a good day, madam."

I got to my feet quickly as Rudy turned and walked back to his post and Stark darted around the small table as I made to move for the door, feeling utterly humiliated at having been caught so easily.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he told me, shaking his head, his voice dropping low. "If you leave now they'll know you really are a liar, but more than that they'll think I'm a liar and you wouldn't want that would you?"

I froze, paling as I looked up at him and met his gaze. I was caught between a rock and a hard place, exiting now put me back into a position where I was at the mercy of his security guards, whereas staying put me into a position with one of the world's richest, most intelligent, and well-respected businessmen.

Stark held the donut box out to me now, his voice lifting slightly, "Donut?" he chirped at me, no longer serious and still playing along with the lie he had told to Rudy of my being an intern candidate that he knew and had called here.

"No," I managed to squeak out, "but thank you."

He shrugged, turning his back to me and made a motion to follow him, glancing back as he strode towards the elevators.

"This is the lobby," he told me over his shoulder, "I don't recommend you ever sit in here again if you choose to dress like that when coming to work. My security guards aren't the kindest or the most forgiving, not that I hired them to be in the first place." He spared me a glance and arched an eyebrow at me, "Got it?"

I nodded, having caught the double meaning of the statement, the threat that was behind the words. If I showed my face here again, he'd make sure they had me thrown out in no time at all. But the way things seemed to be going, I wasn't going to hold my breath of making it out of the building by my own volition.

"What's your name again?" he asked me curiously as he pressed the button for the elevator.

"Raleigh," I mumbled numbly, "Raleigh Alexander."

Oh god, _what_ was I thinking? I should have made up a name. Using my real name with Stark was even worse than saying what I had to Rudy.

"That's a very nice name," he nodded to me, "do you live around here? You sound American."

The elevator doors opened and he motioned for me to board, following after me when I did so. He pressed the button for the top floor, looking down at me expectantly while I tried to formulate a half decent answer.

The truth. Telling the truth didn't get anyone into trouble and it wasn't like he couldn't learn just who I was if he cared enough to find out.

"I grew up in New York City and moved here when I was in high school," I said numbly. "My dad and little brother still live in Manhattan, my mother is in Cambridge."

"And I'm assuming you don't study at Cambridge?"

I shook my head slowly, "King's," I managed to get out, still feeling horribly foolish. I watched as the numbers on the digital display inched nearer and nearer to the fiftieth floor, but remained quiet, wondering just what kind of punishment Tony Stark would extract upon me personally.

It couldn't be any worse than what Loki cooked up for me on a regular basis, that much I knew for sure. Tony Stark wasn't known for throwing people out of windows and so I was confident that while I might be leaving in tears, emotionally scarred, that I would be in one piece physically.

"I grew up in Long Island," he nodded, biting into a donut. "Did you go to school in the city?"

I nodded. "Trinity prep," I told him, still feeling rather meek.

"A Trinity girl?" he smirked, "Have to be pretty smart to get in there."

"It was my mother's idea," I said flatly, uninterested in being poked into a debate of some sort. Regardless of my attending Trinity for years, I hadn't been in the top ten percent of the class or close to it, the top half at least, which was a relief but still. I wasn't the Harvard of MIT material he was thinking of. I certainly wasn't anything like him.

"Do you not like her?" Stark asked curiously, arching an eyebrow at me when I looked up at him, startled. "Because it sounds a little bit like you might."

I didn't know how to react, I couldn't think of a single person who had ever picked up on the tone so easily, who was so relaxed as they said it. Instead I merely flubbed around for a few moments before shrugging, "I love her."

Stark smirked at me again, as if knowing something I didn't, turned to the doors as they opened, and then led me forward, out into a polished office space.

"Pepper?" he called out and I watched as a woman seated behind a desk slowly turned around, her red hair tied back neatly.

"Tony," her brow furrowed as her eyes fell upon him and then further pinched together at the sight of me in the background. "Is everything okay? You have a meeting."

"I know," Stark nodded, setting the box of donuts on the desk, "but I found one of my intern candidates in the lobby." He turned, gesturing to me, and Pepper nodded slowly, clearly understanding the lie. "Pepper, this is Raleigh Alexander, she is one of my possible interns and as you can see she was just so excited to possibly get the position she dropped everything she was doing today and came down to Stark Industries five hours ahead of time."

A hot blush scorched my cheeks and Pepper stood, placing a hand on Stark's shoulder, she leaned forward saying something to him and he waved her off, shaking his head as he took another bite of the donut.

"It's fine," he told her, he looked over at me and then returned to Pepper, saying in just loud enough a voice for me to hear, "Do you really think she could beat me?" Pepper rolled her eyes at him, giving him a reproachful look and for a second I was reminded of the dynamic between Loki and I when things were better. "I'm just asking, if so then maybe I should leave these with you," he pulled the box of donuts in and extended them to her.

"No, Tony."

"No one else wants one, have one."

"Tony," Pepper shook her head, "no."

"Suit yourself then," he shrugged. "Anyway, cancel my morning meetings and block out all of my calls, I'd like to have some time with Miss Alexander. You know how the interview process can be and I don't want her leaving too soon, she needs a good grasp of just what she's getting herself into, isn't that right?" He looked over his shoulder at me, the sly smirk tugging the corner of his mouth upwards as he stared at me.

Pepper spared me a glance, which I thought was almost pitying, and then nodded, "I'll be sure to," she nodded again. "Rhodes called," she added as an afterthought when Stark had begun to turn away.

"Oh," Stark paused and I was left feeling out of place suddenly, not knowing who this Rhodes was that Pepper was speaking of. "I'll give him a call around lunch, but you can patch him through if he phones again." He looked at her for a few moments before asking, "Anyone else important?"

"Phil is supposed to come this afternoon," she said, her tone evasive as she looked at me, obviously not interested in saying much more than that in front of a stranger who clearly wasn't an internist.

"Damn it," Stark picked up his box of donuts, "well, call the interns, tell them the interviews are off. We'll reschedule or something," he hesitated and then added, "but really, do we even _need_ interns?"

Pepper nodded at him, "Tony," she said, her voice just the slightest bit scolding.

He sighed, rolling his eyes, "Okay, I guess I see the point," he leaned across the desk, leaving a kiss on Pepper's cheek before he teased, "Don't tell your boss! Workplace harassment!"

He turned back to me, jerking his head towards a set of large doors at the far side of the lobby. I followed, feeling Pepper's gaze on me as I did so and couldn't help but think that she really did find some kind of amusement in this being my punishment for trespassing. Tony extended the box of donuts to me as we neared the doors and I hesitated.

"Take the box, you're an internist aren't you?" he asked me and I could have sworn I heard Pepper chuckle from behind us.

I took the box quickly, looking down at it while Stark pushed open the doors to his office and led me inside.

"Jarvis," he said, heading for the desk, "send Rhodey an email with a copy of the documents I was supposed to fax him last night and can you get the doors?"

I turned, moving to return to the doors to shut them when a disembodied voice replied, "Yes, sir, and that won't be necessary, Miss Alexander." I watched, shocked, as the doors shut themselves and then looked over my shoulder at Stark who had removed his suit jacket, draping it upon the back of his chair.

"Come in," he waved me forward before he began to loosen his pale yellow tie from its position near his throat, "sit, have a donut."

I didn't know what it was with his insisting I have a donut, but I was beginning to find the prospect a little tempting. I hadn't had breakfast, having lost track of time as well as my bearings while I walked.

I slowly eased myself down into one of the chairs, remaining quiet and leaned forward, timidly resting the box on the desk. I really did want one, but I didn't want to push my luck, what if it was just some kind of trick?

Tony opened the box, picking up another donut and then leaned back in his seat, lifting his feet which he propped up on the corner of the large desk. He took a bite of the donut, staring at me in silence, his eyes locked on my face, taking in every detail, and I could feel my cheeks beginning to grow hot under the stare, a red blush beginning to creep up and into my face.

"Mr. Stark," I began, my voice feeble and he held up a hand, stopping me.

"Tony," he said simply and when I stared at him, confused, he clarified, "you can call me Tony."

I continued to stare, dumbfounded, and wrung my hands in my lap nervously, "T-Tony, look, I'm really sorry, I just wasn't thinking and I lost track of time and I won't let it happen again but thank you and I really do promise I won't let it happen again after this."

Tony took another bite of the donut and then rested his head on the padded back of the chair, chewing slowly as he mulled over what I was saying, his eyes never leaving my face as I perched upon the edge of my seat.

Finally, he smiled at me, "Do you think I'm going to let you off that easy?"

I could feel my eyes widen in horror as a hundred different thoughts bombarded me at once; I was horribly scared of just what he planned on doing with me. Would he call the cops? Would it be security? Was he going to humiliate me?

"Why don't you like your mother?" he asked curiously, returning to his box of donuts with a new interest.

I froze. "I like my mum plenty," I muttered, "I just don't see eye to eye with her on some things."

"Such as?" Tony lifted his eyebrows at me, expectant.

"She pushed me to do well at my schooling, not that that's a bad thing but she always made choices as to where I would go, what activities I ought to involve myself in, that sort of thing, and she also made sure I chose to go into law as my major at King's even though I didn't really ‑ and still don't ‑ know what I want to do."

"So, essentially, you think your mother is a control freak and you don't like that?" Tony asked me before taking another mouthful of the donut.

"She's not - she's - she's my mother and regardless of my disagreeing with her I still love her, it's just, I don't always agree with her. Surely you didn't always agree with your parents," I replied, beginning to lose my patience with the prying.

Tony set his donut down, frowning deeply. "My father never told me he loved me," he said flatly, his eyes locked on mine, "never said he liked me either. Not to my face anyway," he spared a glance at a portrait that hung from the wall of the office and I followed his gaze to Howard Stark's face. "I know your story a lot better than you'd think, Raleigh, probably better than even you do."

I had no idea how to respond to something of that magnitude and so I sat still, feeling oddly small in my seat as I fidgeted about for a few moments, timid, embarrassed.

"Nothing is ever good enough for my mother," I admitted finally, "she never thinks I'm good enough and always wants more," I bit the inside of my cheek, stealing a glance at the CEO nervously and watched as he picked up his donut again. "That's why I work so hard and always try to do my best and I have great marks, but it's never enough for her, she always wants me to go the extra mile. I mean, law's not even something I like that much."

"Then what do you like?" he finished the donut and reached for a third, watching me with a curious expression that I couldn't quite place.

"I-I…. I don't know," I murmured, surprised by the admission. I had never really thought about it, what did I _like_ to do? What did I _want_ to do? If I had had the choice, what would I be studying?

"For all of my father's flaws, he let me have my machines, without that I wouldn't be here today, I wouldn't be Iron Man or anything else," Tony said with a shrug, he pushed the donut box towards me. "You look like you're starving, have a couple."

I flushed, slowly taking one of the donuts and picked at it, well aware that he was still watching me closely. "You'd still have done great stuff though, whether you went into engineering or not," I disagreed slowly, looking up at him, "you're a genius."

Tony smirked, "Yeah," he shrugged slightly and chuckled, "I am, but I'd bet a Trinity girl at King's is pretty smart, too."

I gave him a small smile, breaking off a piece of the donut and ate it slowly, waiting for Tony to continue the conversation. I was sure there were about a million more questions coming my way.

"So why did you pick the lobby of my building?"

There it was.

I shrugged, "It wasn't for any particular reason, I just was walking as I needed to clear my head and wound up here. I needed to warm up and I was curious, so I figured why the hell not?"

To my surprise, Tony grinned widely at my reply, as if it pleased him and watched as I took another bite of the donut, slowly becoming more relaxed as I did so. He set his donut down and reached for the phone intercom, "Pepper?" he waited a few moments, sparing a glance at me as he did so and noted that I was still eating my donut with an approving smile. "Not as good as Dunkin Donuts," he shook his head.

I laughed quietly, "There's better than Dunkin out there, too, you know," I replied.

"Randy's donuts," he nodded, pressing the button again, "Pepper? Pepper?"

"Yes, Tony?" came the reply.

"Could you possibly get Raleigh and I something to drink?" he asked curiously, "I'll take some coffee and she'll have…?"

"Tea, any sort," I said timidly, "and if not tea then just cold water."

Tony rolled his eyes at me, "You can have tea and water, I can have tea and coffee and water; this is my building and you can have anything you want or at least I can. But I want coffee and you want tea and that's that. So how about it, Pepper?"

I smiled to myself, listening as Pepper replied, "I'll get it to you as soon as possible, Tony, and just so you're aware, you've made the board of directors extremely angry."

Tony rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, sighing heavily, "I'm having a very important conversation, Pepper, talking about how much money they got for Christmas bonus is not nearly as important as this. Tell them to go sight-seeing, London is a beautiful city and they really need some culture."

"Tony, I don't think that talking about donuts and which brand is best is quite the same as talking about your company's finances and marketing scheme in London."

Tony sat up, leaning forward, "You're eavesdropping?!" he was smiling still, clearly amused by Pepper and I couldn't help but smile as well, amused by their chemistry. All the feelings of a teenage crush had dissipated, instead I was left feeling intense admiration for him, for what he'd managed to carve out of the seemingly half-rotten hand he'd been dealt, for his ability to find a woman that he truly loved and offered him the same in return.

Pepper didn't reply though and Tony quickly pressed the button again, "Pepper, I know you can hear me," he waited and smirked at me when the audible sound of her sighing came through from the other end, "Pepper, are you eavesdropping? Do you want to come have donuts too?"

"No, Tony, I have to get to work, but you can take me for wine tonight," she replied finally.

Tony grinned hugely, "That sounds like a date, Ms. Potts," he released the button and looked up at me as he reclined in his seat once more. "We're kind of dating," he nodded, "well, we are dating," he corrected himself. "Are you seeing someone here?"

I hesitated, the donut turning sour in my mouth as the thought of Loki resurfaced in my mind and I swallowed, growing quiet again, "It's kind of complicated," I admitted to him. "I'm seeing someone frequently, but I don't think it's going to work for various reasons, mostly the fact that he's a selfish, egotistical ass."

"Then why are you still with him?" Tony asked.

"It's complicated," I hedged, though I was truly unsure of the answer myself. "We struck up a bargain to help one another out and things got complicated."

He was quiet for a few moments, staring at me with a curious look, but he didn't push the issue, instead he pulled a file towards himself that was labelled CONFIDENTIAL and opened it, peering down at the papers curiously, before he looked up at me. "Sorry," he said with a shrug, "stuff for the Avengers," he nodded.

"You guys are still working together?" I asked, unsure if I was stepping into territory where questions weren't allowed.

"Well, we weren't for a while, but there have been some sightings of a very important target on the government's list of criminals here in London. So I came here to do a bit of reconnaissance, plus this whole board of directors thing -" he rolled his eyes again and made a hand gesture that clearly told me it was only about money, "- and the others should get here eventually if I find something worthwhile."

I stared at him, unable to help but feel as though a weight had settled in my stomach at his words. "Who are you looking for?" I asked him curiously, a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I already knew the answer. I quickly added, "I mean, if I'm allowed to ask."

Tony shrugged, "I don't care if you ask," he told me and to my surprise he pulled out one of the papers from the file, extending it to me. "Here," he told me, "much easier than explaining the bastard to you."

I took the paper slowly, allowing my eyes to land squarely on Loki's face. I stared at the photograph for a few moments, frozen with fear, and looked up at Tony, hoping he hadn't noticed my change in behavior, which thankfully he hadn't. His donut and the rest of the file were more interesting than my horrified face and I took a few moments to compose myself, forcing myself to breathe normally, even if I felt as though I were about to throw up.

I slowly scanned over the document, my heart in my throat as I read through his information, seeing the things he'd never mentioned to me before.

_Crimes: Death of 2,000+ civilians, injury of 500+ civilians, hostage of government agents, threat of total annihilation of Earth, initiating war, breaking of treatises, violation of human rights._

Violation of human rights, death, injury ‑ what on Earth had I gotten myself into? I had briefly listened to their news about New York when it had all happened but was more preoccupied with getting in touch with my father and Ben and then my friends, all of whom were lucky enough to be safe from harm. Knowing they were safe left me embittered that my home had been destroyed, but relieved all the same and I had mostly ignored the news of the slowly rebuilding New York City since then, save for what I had heard from friends and family.

I'd been too busy, at least that was what I had told myself for so long. But in truth, I had been far too scared to look upon the streets I'd walked with friends and family, to see places I'd spent my free time and called my own in ruin, and now, knowing that I was regularly laying beside the man ‑ the god ‑ who had caused so much destruction, so much death, made me nauseous.

"Do - can I see the rest of his file?" I asked, keeping my voice steady.

Tony looked up, his eyebrows quirking upwards curiously, but then he nodded, "Yeah, sure," he picked up another file and stretched across the desk, passing me the manilla envelope. "What's got you so interested?"

I shook my head, deciding it was in my best interest to lie, "I just wasn't there for it. I never knew what happened and you're giving me the opportunity." He continued to stare at me, clearly not believing it and so I finally conceded, "New York is my home. My friends and family are there, I knew people who were rescued that day and my father knew people who were in those buildings that fell…." I trailed off, not bothering to notice how Tony's face softened at the words, pitying, understanding, for the weight settled upon my shoulders that it just as easily could have been my father in one of those buildings.

It could have been my father in his office, seeing a giant leviathan-like monster barreling towards the floor upon which he worked, with no chance for escape, no chance for survival, only to be killed in the impending collapse. It had been that way for some of his colleagues at other firms, they'd stood no chance, they'd simply gone down with the towers and been called missing before their mangled corpses were dragged out of rubble days later.

Some were still missing.

They had wives and husbands and sons and daughters and mothers and fathers of their own. Yet they were missing, an empty seat at their Christmas dinners, surely, and Loki had done that, had caused that strife in lives undeserving of such anguish.

I opened the file, my hands trembling slightly, and found myself confronted with photos. I hadn't anticipated photos and the sight was enough to make me want to retch - fresh, colored photos taken of the sites where buildings had crumpled, of bodies that were strewn across the streets and pinned beneath cars and random pieces of rubble.

I paged through the photographs slowly, absorbing the details of each carefully, an indescribable feeling welling within me with each passing moment.

My hand covered my mouth as I stumbled upon the photo of a child - surely it had to be a child, though it no longer resembled any that I had seen with its face bloodied, bits of concrete and glass caked into the lacerations that covered its tiny complexion, distorting it. I didn't want to breathe, for if I did I was certain that all that would escape from my lips was a sob, a strangled cry of pain for everything that had been lost, for the pain and destruction that had been caused, for my own naivety.

I quickly flicked through more of the photos, wide eyed, horrified, and came to a list, pages long, clearly updated regularly, that listed the missing, the dead, and the wounded. I forced my gaze away from the page, unwilling to look at the ages, the names, to think of who had lost a mother or a grandfather or an older sibling as collateral damage to Loki's greater plan, whatever that had been.

I returned to the page that held his information now and stared at it, speechless.

For the first time, staring at this file, seeing there were over two thousand people he had killed and countless more that he had injured, I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, one I had never before felt for Loki.

I felt hatred.

It could have easily been my father. It could have been my brother lying on the street with a mangled face or my childhood friends blown to pieces with random limbs left to be picked up by volunteers. Any of them could have been among the dead and yet I was living out this warped little reality with him, with the creature that had committed these atrocities, believing that if he changed I could love him.

Was I an idiot?

I was.

I could never love him, never return to this skewed fantasy I'd called happiness with him, not when I was faced with this, when I was faced with a reality that Loki was little less than a cold-blooded murderer. But it no longer mattered that I hated him, that I longed to rage against him, to demand answers, to try to find sense in the captured madness I held in my hands. It only mattered that the Avengers knew of his location, that they'd be looking for him, and surely that made me an accomplice, surely that put me on the line.

For once, I no longer cared about Loki's safety, I simply cared for my own. My entire life was now on the line not only for helping him due to Thanos and company, but now due to the Avengers. The reasons I could hate Loki were beginning to pile before me and I continued to stare down at the file, my stomach knotted with anger, hating him for how he had treated me, how he treated humans, how he killed and maimed.

The doors opened and I quickly threw the file down on the desk, my eyes lingering on it as Pepper walked into the room, carrying a small tray. She gave me a small smile as she set the tray upon the corner of the desk and looked at Tony as he paused, looking away from his work to see her.

"Can I get you anything else, Tony?" she asked him quietly.

He spared me a glance and I quickly shook my head, not willing to request anything more. I already felt strange being served, out of place for even being here, and like a traitor for having information that would be pertinent to Tony's mission with the Avengers. Perhaps then I'd get off scot free with the authorities, if I assisted the Avengers in capturing Loki...but that left me unprotected from Thanos and Amora, open to be slaughtered by the chitauri. For, despite all of his misdeeds, his harsh nature, his general disagreeableness, Loki had protected me from everything imaginable thus far, save only for himself.

I couldn't say anything, not if I intended to protect myself from Thanos and Amora, not if I wanted to live freely. I could fight the legal battles later, jump through those hoops when the time came and make the sacrifices when necessary, but for now, I was aligned with Loki for he was offering me a chance at living longer than the Avengers might hope to. From now on, it was more about self-preservation, less about finding the Book of Ullr to rid myself of him.

I watched as Pepper turned to leave, clearly having just chatted with Tony about something; I met his gaze head on as the doors shut behind us and I leaned forward to take my tea.

"He's the one that attacked New York last spring?" I asked slowly, raising my eyebrows. My voice was clinical, collected, and for once I was glad to be playing it cool while under pressure. All I wanted to do was find a dark corner to curl up into a ball and scream, for I was horrified with myself, with what kind of monster I was assisting.

Tony nodded, "Real nutcase, he's from a place called Asgard. He's just returned here in the last several months it seems; we're not sure if Asgard placed him here or what, but he's got an accomplice and sooner or later we'll find him. Personally I'm hoping it's sooner."

I wasn't hoping that at all.

"I see," I nodded, somewhat at a loss for words. I forced myself to take a long sip of the hot tea, ignoring the burning sensation the steaming water left on my tongue and the roof of my mouth, instead swallowing the scalding liquid. "Is he dangerous?"

Tony nodded, tapping the paper, "Killed two thousand people, injured more."

Two thousand innocent people dead...five hundred innocent people hurt, the numbers were seared into my mind. Yet I was helping him.

I took another sip of the tea, keeping myself entirely composed and then decided to broach the next question, "What will you do with him when you find him?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"That's entirely up to the bigwigs," he shrugged at me. "I just don't want a repeat of New York, there's too much at stake. These people -" he gestured towards the skyline outside of his office window "- don't deserve to die because of a deranged demigod. It's too big a risk to let him go loose like this." He shook his head, "I've got to find him."

There was more at stake than he even began to understand.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked up at him curiously, cupping my hands around my teacup tightly to keep them from trembling.

"Sure," Tony nodded, pulling his gaze from the confidential file he was still reading.

"How are you so brave?" I asked him, genuinely curious. "You were there, you nearly died I heard. I just...I don't get it."

He frowned slightly, picking up his coffee mug to have another sip while he mulled over an answer. Finally, he looked to me with a rather soft expression, his voice quiet, "My father always told me that there need to be more people in this world that have a backbone of iron. I guess it stuck."

I smiled ruefully, nodding, "I guess it did," I admitted before adding quietly, bitterly, "I'm a bit jealous of you for it."

Tony grinned at me, "Why?"

I shrugged once, "If he's really so dangerous but you're brave enough to face him, I'm jealous. Because I know that I'm not, that I'd back down and that I'd cave into him."

To my surprise, he sat up properly, his brow furrowing, and then shook his head at me, "If anyone has it in them, it's people like us. We aren't so different, Raleigh." The words took me by surprise and I flushed, but refused to say anything, feeling sheepish for how Tony had likened us to one another.

Maybe he was right about that.

I was sure that for as alike as we were, we were surely incredibly different just the same. We didn't come from the same cloth, we'd grown differently, but maybe he was right. Maybe I could be brave.

I finished my tea and spared a glance at the clock behind the desk, noting that it was nearly noon, which was more than enough time for a supposed interview and tour of the facilities as far as I was concerned.

"I should be going," I said slowly, getting to my feet. "I'm really sorry but I have some things I have to get done. Thank you, really, for everything; thank you for everything."

Tony got to his feet, extending his hand politely and I took it, shaking his hand firmly, my eyes still locked on his own. As nice as it felt to have someone else's hand in my own, to feel the warmth of his skin on my own, I felt horribly guilty for pretending when he had been so candid with me.

"About the internship," he said abruptly, "I really am looking for interns. Would you be interested in it?" He held tight to my hand as I stared at him, my mouth falling open, shocked by the offer.

What did I say to Tony Stark? To the man I'd had a crush on for years? Who was just sitting with me eating donuts and drinking coffee? Who was so normal and so understanding? Did I just say, 'No, I'm sorry, but my life is currently being controlled by the deranged demigod you're hunting thus rendering me useless until I find a mythical book'? What was the right answer?

"I'm sorry, but no thank you. As much as I'd love to, I have a lot on my plate right now and an internship would be positively overwhelming."

Tony nodded, clearly understanding, and released my hand, giving me a smile. "Come back though," he told me. "On your way out stop in with Pepper and let her know that you and I are going to get lunch once a week, Thursdays if that works for you?" he raised his eyebrows at me. "I'll be in London for a while after all."

I nodded slowly, unable to help the strange feelings that were churning inside of me, the fear, the hatred, the anger, the worry, the desperate need for self-preservation - god, what had I done?

I turned, walking steadily towards the doors. I hesitated as I pulled one open and turned, giving Tony a small smile that he returned with a curt nod.

"Hey," Tony called to me, "do me a favor in the meantime?"

I nodded once, deciding that it was worth the risk to continue to stand here, to hear him out.

"Think about it," he told me, "think about what you'd want to do."

I smiled in spite of myself, nodding, then slipped out of his office. Pulling the door shut behind myself, I slowly turned my gaze to Pepper where she sat behind her desk. I was still fuming on the inside, desperate to run, to flee from the building and to just run and run without ever looking back until I'd found a place to call my own, where I might be able to drop to my knees, to sob and to hate myself freely.

Loki would never allow me to go out with Tony Stark, but what Loki wanted hardly mattered. And so I approached the desk, giving Pepper a timid smile. "Miss Potts?" I said slowly.

She turned in her seat slightly, her eyebrows going up. I had the distinct impression that she had yet to make a final decision on just what she thought of me but I forced myself to remain put anyway, despite how fearful and paranoid I currently felt.

"Raleigh," she greeted, her voice still professional, yet warm, "what can I do for you?"

"Tony wanted to set up a lunch with me on Thursdays, if that's okay with you?"

She smiled.

* * *

A/N: Should hopefully update a bit more frequently following this chapter. I've gotten most of my research paper written and fall break is soon enough, but I will be off and on in posting/replying due to my mid-terms starting in the next two weeks. I'm also a tad busy that week with a conference I'm attending and traveling out of the area, but I should be home most nights and comfortably tucked into bed with my laptop writing this. So things should be becoming regular once more. :D

As always, thanks to everyone who R&R'd and please do continue to, if it's not to much to ask. I really do enjoy your reviews. :D

Lastly, quite a lot to be said here. Am endeavouring to answer all of my reviews (thanks so much for those, everyone) and PMs, but alas, I'm sort of stuck presently and so since it's a bit easier than writing out a bunch of different PMs, I'll simply answer my reviews here.

**Purplenurpl:** _Very glad to hear, thank you. :)_  
**mydarkestway:** _Thanks! I really appreciate it._  
**molescout:** _(10) Hm, it's something like that. I wouldn't call it needy per say though, I like to link it back to how it's been made clear by the actual writers and Hiddleston himself that Loki has a thing for power. Dominance = power. Therefore, disobeying an order would result in being roughed up. Does that make sense? Oh, I hope it does... Thank you, though! :D (11) Thanks again! I did skirt sex, I'm a rather big perfectionist when I decide to write a graphic sex scene because I tend to think it has a point to it (as chapter 10 did) and thus furthers the plot. This, eh, I could've, but I did'nt have much free time to devise things and repeating chapter 10 seemed a little wrong to me. :$_  
**Dontgotaclue88:** _I tend to feel pretty bad for Raleigh on a rather frequent basis. I've joked with my BETA that I'm probably the worst creator imaginable solely due to the fact that she has to put up with and go through so much and my Beta agrees, unsurprisingly..._  
**kswaf: **_Oh no, don't hate me! :( You can hate these two all you like (I occasionally hate them myself), but not me! Jokes aside, I really thought I'd just been flamed when I read your review but thank you for it (especially the bit about my writing :)!) and while I do agree with it, I just don't like to force a character's hand until they've reached the right developmental point. I have an odd philosophy on characterization that I follow as law whilst writing so things sometimes get dragged out by that one all important law I have for writing. Hopefully though, this one has at least satiated you to some extent and given you a bit of hope that my WIP will be moving out of the slow lane and into the fast lane! In a manner of speaking, anyway.  
_**Savannah Rose:**_ Oh, thank you! I really appreciate it. :D And no worries, many thanks for even one review.  
_**KMD88: **_Ah, I agree with you. Could give some things away here but shan't. That'd be wrong of me. Though I can honestly say that you needn't worry too much about the second part of your review following this chapter. Thanks as always, K. :)  
_**The-beauty-underneath-the-dark: **_(7) There might be a few more instances with drunk Loki down the line, we'll see. Hm, I have to respectfully disagree on the subject of Raleigh's father - while writing this he never really became the "bad guy" to me between Raleigh's parents and he still isn't. At least, I hope I've accurately portrayed it this way and perhaps I'm not, but to me, her father is supportive and doting, far more so than Raleigh's mother. The whole affair is just one facet, it's humanizing. And for a real character, being human and having flaws and a sordid past is necessary, I think, so an affair isn't out of the question. That's not what ended the marriage, it's the fact that he eventually realised and understood himself to be gay. He and Veronica are still friendly, they don't hold anything against one another, and so I can't really think that her father is a bad guy. At least, in my mind; obviously, you're entitled to your opinions and I won't hold anything against that! As for why Raleigh can't be nice, she has a temper. It's her biggest flaw probably. Her temper leads to her being petty and holding grudges and being bitter. It's not something to be proud of, but again, I think it's humanizing and thus I want to portray that aspect. (8) I'm sure if you're very good you can. :p_  
**Greatbigfan: **_(10) Can't be giving away the secrets of his heart now! Haha. And it's a little bad, but I'm sure that many fans of the character are guilty of the thought at some point of another. :) (11) It's very much like you'd love a pet! Goodness, I never thought of it that way but that's exactly it. I wouldn't start to throw the L word around with regards to Loki just yet though. He's still getting "happiness" and "cheerful" down, I think. "Loving" is about 50 miles off the south coast yet, I'm afraid._


	13. Severance

_A/N: I own nothing. Just the OFC, OCs, and plot._

* * *

_**Chapter Thirteen: Severance**_

"Loki!" I called, pushing open the door of the flat, breathless. "Loki!" I called again when he didn't immediately respond. I shut the door behind myself, hurrying down the hall to find him sitting on the sofa, his eyes trained on the television where the news was playing.

Sighing in frustration, I moved forward quickly, blocking his view and his eyes shifted to my face, mild surprise etching into his features before he relaxed, "What is it, Raleigh?"

"Tony Stark," I told him hurriedly, "he's in London. He's working with the Avengers and they know that you're here and they're trying to find you."

Loki's eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed, "Is that so?" he asked me.

"Yes," I nodded, watching as he rubbed his face wearily, clearly mulling over my words before he lifted his gaze to my own once more.

"How do you know this?"

I scoffed, "Does it even matter how I know?" I asked him, feeling somewhat annoyed.

"How do you know this, Raleigh?" he repeated himself, a steel edge to his voice as he ignored my complaint.

I sighed heavily, "I...I got up early this morning and went for a walk, all right?" I told him. "I wound up going to Central and I went to his new building and I met him there."

Loki's face was unreadable, his voice low, deadly even, "You _met_ Tony Stark?" he arched one dark eyebrow at me, his eyes narrowing.

"Yes!" I told him exasperatedly, "All right? Have we established that now? There are more important things ‑"

He cut me off, "What did you tell him about the Book?"

"I ‑ nothing, Loki, don't be ridiculous. But they know that you're looking for it, you have to lay low or do something you can't just let them find you!"

"What did Stark say to you?" Loki got to his feet, advancing upon me almost menacingly and I took a few steps backwards involuntarily, shaking my head at him.

"I didn't say anything and he just said he was here on business for his company and the Avengers and then we talked about my mother and my future and he wants to get lunch on Thursday with me. That's all."

Loki's eyes flashed, "And did you agree to lunch?"

I stared at him, feeling a slight blush creep into my cheeks. He was completely ignoring the fact that this was serious, that I was serious, and just concerned about whatever I had said to Tony Stark and planned to do with Tony Stark.

"I did," I told him, my voice firmer than I'd expected. "We're going to go to Rules on Thursday and get lunch. I agreed to it."

"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Loki practically spat at me, grabbing my arms in a death grip. I thought for a split second that he was about to shake me, but to my surprise, he simply stared down at me, his face twisted, angry. "What on earth were you thinking, Raleigh?"

"I thought it was wise," I told him, flushing, and attempted to pull my arms from his grasp when he tightened his grasp on me instead.

"What gave you such an imbecilic idea?" he demanded angrily and before I could protest, he carried on, "Raleigh, what does _he_ know?"

"Nothing!" my voice rose a level and I twisted in his grasp, fuming. "I didn't tell him anything either so don't start accusing me of it! He knows you're here and S.H.I.E.L.D. sent him and if he finds you then the other Avengers are going to show up here."

"And so you thought it prudent to run back here to tell me of this?" he hissed, "To inform me that I am in danger of being found out by a clunking heap of iron?"

"You know you could be just a little bit grateful!" I snapped at him as I succeeded in pulling away. "I didn't tell him anything, Loki, he told me a whole lot more than I could've told him!"

"And what is that to mean, Raleigh?'

"It means that there's no reason I should have protected you like I did!" I told him angrily. "Not when he showed me pictures of all the people you killed in New York ‑ you know that could have been my father, right? That it could've been my brother?! Any number of my friends?! I have no reason to protect you from them, but I am, you ought to be grateful for that!"

He stared at me, his eyes narrowing, "You shouldn't speak of what you do not know, Raleigh. For as spirited as you are, some sense might do you far better than your looks."

"You don't even care do you?" I asked him, close to my breaking point now.

"You ask me to be grateful, Raleigh, and I ask you for _what_?!" he roared, "You come to me bearing news that Tony Stark is busy hawking about your beloved city to mingle with the stinking, teeming masses of Midgardians while he's on the hunt for me. You try to tell me that I am protected by _you_? You're hapless, a foolish child at your very best. Do you truly believe you are capable of fooling Tony Stark and government agencies? That we are any safer from them than we are from Amora or Thanos?!"

I flushed, watching as he spun away from me on his heel, pacing back and forth as he ran a hand through his hair. That was when the thought struck me, it wasn't a particularly bright thought, it was really rather fruitless, but it was going to make him angrier and that alone made me want to do it.

Quickly, I turned away from Loki, hellbent and fuming, and made for the kitchen, my mind made up as to just what I wanted to do. I pulled open the top drawer of the counter, well aware of his stopping to watch me and I pulled out a pair of kitchen scissors. I turned around, made my way back to him and pointed to the chair.

"Sit down," I ordered him.

"Raleigh, put those things down before I have to take them from you."

"Loki," I stamped my foot against the floor angrily. "I don't care if you don't like this idea, we're doing it. It'll buy you a bit of time if you don't go frolicking around London with hair down to your shoulders and actually look like a presentable, twenty-first century human being."

He scowled, "You're not touching my hair, Raleigh."

"I am, now sit." I pointed to the chair. "Either you'll do it or I'll tell Tony Stark all about you the next time I see him."

"You will not see him again," Loki snarled at me, advancing menacingly.

"I will if I want to and I do!" I shouted at him. "I'm going to Rules on Thursday for lunch and you won't be there and you won't stop me!"

"DAMN IT, RALEIGH!" he slammed his hand against the wall of the flat with such force that the blow left a slight indentation when he pulled back. "You will not go! I say as much and you are obligated to listen and agree to my demands!"

"I'm not going to listen to you anymore, I don't owe you anything. Now sit down and let me cut your hair or I'll spill the whole plan to Tony Stark on Thursday."

"Raleigh," he seethed, a tic gradually forming in his jaw, "you will not go with him anywhere, I forbid it."

"It really doesn't matter what you permit and don't permit," I snapped back angrily, "because as far as I'm concerned our deal is off. I'll help you find your damn Book and you'll keep me safe, but don't you dare tell me what to do from now on," I brandished the scissors at him threateningly when he took another step forward.

Loki stared, surprise flickering across his face, "What is this?" he asked me, "Is this your idea of bravery?"

"No," I shook my head, "I have what you need, I have what he needs. I'm in the prime position to negotiate everything now, aren't I?" I demanded. When he remained silent, I carried on hotly, "You're going to do as I say, Loki, I'm not yours anymore. And if you don't agree then I'll go out there right now and find him again and I'll tell him where you are."

Loki's eyes narrowed, "And in all of your arrogance, it seems that you have forgotten something all too important," he took a few steps forward and I kept my eyes locked on his own as he did so. "Just what makes you think that I won't simply kill you and find another Midgardian that is just as easily dispensable?" he asked me as he neared, his voice low, "You accuse me of savagery without knowing the circumstances surrounding my actions and surely you must know that I'm all too capable of killing again. More Midgardian blood spilt at my hands will not be such a pity, Raleigh."

"If you kill me then you're only going to waste time," I told him, faltering slightly. I hadn't expected my own life to be put on the line, I hadn't even considered him capable of the thought. I knew he liked the idea of the threat, but I had never anticipated his seriously considering it.

"If I throw you out that window and watch you die on the road below, I will have easily disposed of you and I can assure you that I am all too persuasive when I find myself to be in dire situations such as this. There would be no trouble in acquiring another Midgardian, perhaps one less mouthy and more interested in doing as it's told."

I scowled at him, "That's not going to change anything," I told him, "you're still wasting valuable time. You can't get out of here to find anywhere to go, you can't do anything to stop this. You have to keep me alive, I'll work with you and do whatever you want, but I get to decide what I do and how I do it. I'm not going to sleep with you, I'm not going to be bossed around by you, and you're going to listen to me when I have something to say that's of value."

He snorted, "Is this about sex again, Raleigh?" he asked me tartly.

I flushed red, tightening my hold on the scissors for fear of striking out. "It's about what's right," I snapped at him, "I'm not a piece of meat for you to get whenever you want. I'm not yours anymore and you're going to agree to that!"

Loki shook his head, as if he were incredulous, "Why do you have to insist upon being such an imbecilic little twit?" he demanded. "Do you think I merely desire to sleep with you because you are a piece of meat? That I might do the same with other Midgardian women?"

I stilled, "Stop it," I told him, my voice quivering slightly. "I know you would and I don't want you to lie to me."

He frowned. "Perhaps you aren't so daft after all," he murmured, rubbing his chin for a moment. "Yet you propose to fix all of this by cutting my hair?"

"No," I muttered, glaring at him, "I just think it'll make things a little bit easier ‑ because with your hair like this," I waved at the overgrown, raven colored locks, "you stick out like a sore thumb."

"Then what are you proposing to do?" he asked tartly, ignoring the latter part of my statement.

"I-I ‑ that's really not of your concern."

"Haven't you anything planned?" he demanded, almost mockingly.

"I do," I retorted, blushing, "but I have no reason to tell you if you aren't even going to listen to me!"

Loki sneered, "Fine," he told me, collapsing in one of the armchairs. He held his arms out, "You are released from our arrangement and you may act as a _partner_ if that is what you would prefer. Now then, do as you wish. I expect to hear your clever little plot afterwards."

I sighed heavily then gritted my teeth, coming over to stand beside the armchair. I began to pull at his hair, attempting to figure out just how short I could take it before it would look stupid when he spoke again, "You realize, don't you, that I was not entirely myself during the destruction of your home?"

I didn't speak, instead I merely began to snip at the ends of his hair, carefully trimming it while I mulled over the words.

"Raleigh?"

"I heard you," I said, "I don't see how that's possible though."

"I wouldn't expect you to," he replied and I sighed heavily, cutting off a larger chunk of black hair now which I tossed down onto the floor where the rest had fallen. "I would not kill your family, you know."

"Just because you wouldn't now doesn't mean you wouldn't have then," I told him quietly, "we didn't know each other then and you don't have to pretend for my sake that you care about me or my feelings."

"You mustn't delude yourself into thinking that I do care for your feelings, Raleigh, I don't. I merely care that you've assumed incorrectly as to just why I acted as I did."

"Then why don't you just come right out with it and make me see sense?" I asked him, cutting off another chunk of hair. I tossed it down, looking over the odd mess I was making of his head and then carried on, deciding that cutting his hair with the scissors was far better than stabbing him with them. Not that it would have been possible. He'd probably break my arm at this point.

"Thanos used the tesseract to gain control over my mind," Loki said, his voice emotionless. "The tesseract's power allowed him to control my actions and overrule my own desires. For a time I truly wasn't myself and to an extent, I still am not properly myself to this day."

I hesitated, "Thanos made you kill those people? All of them? You wouldn't have done it by yourself?"

He shrugged once, "I cannot say for certain, but there was a moment in battle when I did regret what I had begun. One moment in many is not much at all, of course."

"I see," I muttered, returning to the haircutting I'd been attempting. "So what's this tesseract thing exactly?"

Loki sighed, rubbing his face wearily, "It is a source of power that we held previously upon Asgard and that is presently where it is being maintained. It holds the key to what your people call unlimited energy. I believe your government sought to create weapons by employing the tesseract and compatible technology."

"But it can control your mind?"

"It's more complicated than that, Raleigh."

"Well, I don't much care about a magical Rubik cube so why then? What made you so vulnerable to being brainwashed by Thanos?"

He was silent for some time and then he finally turned his head slightly to look up at me, his eyes meeting my own for a few seconds. He looked away, ahead once again, and said quietly, "Another day, perhaps. I don't believe it is of importance presently."

I ground my teeth together, continuing to snip the ends of his hair.

"You always have to do this don't you?" I asked him angrily, "You always have to dangle something in front of me and rather than being honest you just brush it off like it's not important when it is. You killed over two thousand people, Loki. That's as many as the terrorists on September 11th killed over a decade ago ‑ as far as people are concerned, you're no better than them. You're a terrorist too. You injured over five hundred other people and there are still people missing. I don't know a single person who doesn't know someone that went missing or died. You think it's so simple, that we're just mindless little sheep but we're all connected and we do feel things, you know. We're not little ants in an ant farm for you to bully with a magnifying glass like an angry little boy."

His voice was soft, low, "I was tortured."

I stopped, faltering on the words I was about to say next.

"You hate me for it, don't you?" he turned his head slightly as I paused again, having just snipped off the last large chunk of hair before I began to try cleaning up the tousled mess that I had created in his remaining hair. "For destroying your home, you think me a monster, don't you?"

"No," I told him truthfully, "I hate you because you don't see what's wrong with killing all those people. I hate that you don't see that it could've been my father rather than one of his colleagues or old friends from when he was at Yale. You just don't get it, you don't get what it's like to really have someone that you love only to lose them. And that's what I hate. I hate that you don't understand how much that could hurt someone, how much that could've hurt me or any other _Midgardian _you might come across. You're not a monster, but I do pity you, because to be honest, you don't know love or friendship or what it's like to really have family and friends or how it feels to love someone purely. All you think is that everyone is out to get you and keeping things from you and that they're all so dispensable, especially here on Earth. But they're not. They're just as important to people here as your people are to one another."

"While that was a touching little speech, Raleigh, I'm afraid it's not about to sway my opinions or change what has been done."

"I know that, I'm not stupid."

"Such sentiment would only make me weak, this love and friendship of which you speak. It's all rather pointless to be quite frank, especially when it's rather evident that you live a life that is very much in solitude."

"So you say."

"So long as you're aware that you will not change my views with flowery speeches extolling the virtues of your people while condemning my lack of affection and empathy. But I digress, carry on as you were."

I did, I returned to his hair, cutting it and tending to it until I was satisfied with the overall look of it. When I finished, it fell to the nape of his neck and was rather messy, the long strands beginning to curl slightly, wavier at this shorter length. At our feet lay the pile of hair I'd cut off, waiting to be scooped up and thrown into the thrash.

He would likely hate it, I decided as I bent down, gathering the pile of hair from the floor. I straightened, walking back to the kitchen where I threw the pile into a rubbish bin and returned the scissors to their home, watching Loki was he curiously examined himself in the reflection of the television.

He grimaced, turning the TV back on and then looked over at me, gesturing towards his hair. "You may as well have cut it all off," he told me sourly.

"You fit in now," I replied shortly, uninterested in arguing with him about what was an acceptable hair length and what wasn't. "They aren't about to expect that and even if they do, they won't figure it out quite as quickly. They'll still be looking for you with your long hair in mind."

Loki snorted, "It wouldn't be all that difficult to evade them, you realize."

"I have a life here," I shot back sourly. "I'm not about to uproot myself for your little mission impossible here, all right?"

He sighed heavily, looking at the television as he flicked through the channels before settling upon one of the film stations where _War Horse _was playing for the umpteenth time. He looked over at me as I leaned against the counter, raising his eyebrows, "Do you plan on telling me just what your plan is then?" he asked curiously.

I slowly shifted my weight from one foot to the other and then straightened, making my way over to where he sat. I stopped a few feet short of the armchair, folding my arms across my chest, "What if I got information out of him? About the Avengers? Then what?"

Loki chuckled darkly, looking away from me as he smiled and then ran a hand through his hair, mussing it further. Finally, however, he glanced back at me, "You think yourself capable of spying? Oh, Raleigh, that's rich, you're as capable of spying as Stark is of charity."

I blushed. "Well, considering the fact that he regularly hosts benefit dinners for firemen and police officers in New York, I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't intended to be one," he replied simply and I rolled my eyes, hardly able to tolerate his attitude any longer.

"I'm going to get information if I can. He let me see a file today, I bet I could see more, and if I can find anything valuable or throw them off then I will, but you have to agree that our original bargain is null and void. I'm not going to have that hanging over my head if I'm going to be trying to protect you and keeping you from getting caught. You're going to treat me like an equal."

He turned, sneering, "An equal?" he scoffed. "Even you know that's out of the question. However, the rest of your request...I suppose I am able to acquiesce."

"So it's void?" I raised my eyebrows. "Our deal is done?"

He nodded, looking back at me. "Yes, though you will remain here so as not to arouse any suspicion and I expect that you will bring me information regarding what the Avengers find relating to our own plans. Being as we are _partners_ now, I can only assume such things are to be requested and not simply expected."

"You're not very good at the whole request thing," I remarked flatly.

"I never have been," he replied with a shrug. "You should certainly know that by now, you do fondly refer to it as my Princely sense of entitlement, don't you?" I rolled my eyes, turning away from him and began to make my way across the flat, deciding that I would prefer to sleep. "Raleigh?"

I turned, looking back at him with an arched eyebrow, curious.

"Do remember though, won't you, that if you fail to bring me information on Stark or give away our own plans to him freely, really if you endanger me and my plans in any way, I will kill you. Our deal did protect you from it, but as per your request, we are no longer operating on such terms."

I nodded, turning away, and made the last few steps towards the bedroom. I couldn't help but feel that for all the ground I had seemingly gained that I had just walked into a greater trap than I had on the very first night I met Loki.

* * *

**A/N:** _First off, apologies for the for the rather short length of this one. Some things have come up in my personal life that have made it a bit of a lesser priority to write this despite it being rather cathartic for me. That being said, please Read and Review! It makes my day! :) _

_Secondly, I'm now on AO3. So if you're there, you can find Fire and Rain there as well and you're welcome to follow me there. I'll post prompts and such there more than I will here - especially as I get into some of the other chapters that are approaching. I use the same handle - Vicvic221._

_Lastly, reviews! _

**Zozeebobs: **_Oh thank you! That's really kind of you! I spoke to a few friends about the emotional roller coaster and they definitely agree with you about that and I'm happy that I can make you feel all of those things but even more happy that I can portray Loki accurately and as a villain more than a Byronic hero. Because by no means do I think he's a hero, at least not now. Perhaps with some development and character building he could be but as of right now, he's no more a hero than the textbook example of Byronic heroes - Heathcliff from __Wuthering Heights__. I suppose it's arguable that he is Byronic if you're all pro-Loki, but to me, he doesn't fit into the bill of "hero" if he's only looking out for himself and only seeks for himself. So I do think he's a villain as of right now and am incredibly glad that I've hit the nail on the head as it were! And I also definitely agree about the crush on Tony bit, hehe. _**  
Purplenurpl: **_By 'he' I presume you're referring to Loki? :p It gets hard when you involve Tony and his ego. haha. As for your question about the other Avengers, well, by now you ought to realise that I HATE giving things away so I'll just leave it at "you never know." But, you should also realise by now that I do like throwing monkey wrenches into my stories for fun. Really glad you liked Ch. 12 though and I hope you enjoyed this one as well (given your dislike for Raleigh bending to his whims). As I was writing this one (and the last, too), it really did become a moment where Raleigh's character sort of realized that she didn't necessarily need him but could take control of the situation if she was smart about things and strong._**  
Baudelaire: **_Thank you so much! I really appreciate that. It makes me really happy to know I'm getting the characters down pat and that they're developing in an appropriate manner or keeping in line with canon (or as close to canon as I see fit, haha). And the Raleigh bit especially, that makes me happy because I definitely didn't want to right a Sue into this and rail against Sues vehemently. So I'm glad that this OFC has been warmly received. :3_**  
kswaf: **_Well, is it wrong of me to have been hopeful for a flame? And don't worry, I know you weren't flaming me! I'm just a tit and was reading the comment during lecture only to go, "Holy crap I got my first flame, I'm accomplished!" before I realised that you were mostly frustrated with the character progression and WIP lull that I hate as well and regularly rage about with FF. But really, I'm glad that you like it. I've read some snippets of your work so it means quite a bit as I'm quite fond of your own style of writing even if Glee isn't my cup of tea. As for redemption versus Iron Man ass whooping, who's to say that we can't have our cake and eat it too? But that'd be telling and I can't be having any of that! Hehe!  
_**Dontgotaclue88:** _Tony was easily one of my favourite characters to write for this from the get go. I was so excited to finally introduce him into the story. :3 I'm glad you liked him and hope 13 lived up to expectations (but really, everything pales in comparison to Tony Stark)  
_**Guest:** _(3) Is it hilariously good? I hope so. I had so much fun writing those chapters out. I was like "Hmmm" at first but then it just became fun and I went with it. It made sense. :D Thank you! xx  
_**21-12:** _Thank you! I really appreciate that! :D  
_**KMD88:** _Ugh, patience, my friend. Patience. I can only type so fast and my slaves - I mean, er, my fingers get tired. And I, too, would have taken a donut. Because seriously, what reasonable person wouldn't? Haha. Thanks!  
_**Ellize Avalon:** _Thanks! :D And you're an awfully good predictor. :p Will give you fair warning that this isn't where the jealousy or pettiness ends on his part however!_


	14. Rain

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Sorry for the delay and the relative shortness of this chapter. Have been utterly swamped with things lately and I'm sure that this will only further frustrations with me.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Rain**

Thursday came quickly.

The week was surprisingly quiet with Loki barely speaking to me at all. What amazed me more than his lack of interest in speaking was that he spent more time out of the flat than in it. I wasn't exactly sure what he was doing nor did I care about it much. I spent more of my time working and at the bookshop than anywhere else, occasionally I managed to sneak lunch with Jenny in when my schedule permitted.

A Loki-free week was an all too welcome change. Not having to worry about him constantly or care for him and what he was doing actually took an enormous weight from my shoulders, leaving me free to enjoy myself for the first time in months.

As the days of the week slipped by, he grew more distant, spent even more time out, and I found myself curious, yet uninterested. It probably had to do with the Book, it always had to do with the Book. Even when I was free from schoolwork and work and trying to be social for the first time properly, I found myself pouring over notes with him, trying to figure out just where the cipher map led.

By the time I managed to arrive at Rules on Thursday, donning a dress beneath my coat, I felt more like myself than I had in quite some time. It was a relief and all too welcome to know that for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn't have to worry about Loki or have him on my mind. I could be myself freely without having to worry about him.

* * *

Tony was waiting for me outside of Rules when I finally arrived, having sprinted from the underground station to the restaurant when the tube ran behind schedule and arrived late. He was beneath the red awning in another fine suit, reading something on his phone when I finally made it to his side, relieved.

I was late, but at least it wasn't half as late as I might have been.

He smiled at me as I approached, tucking his phone into one of his trouser pockets, and then came towards me.

"Nice to see you," he greeted, "traffic?"

I nodded, still catching my breath, "Tube ran late," I explained to him, "I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "It's not a big deal, gives me a reason to cancel another meeting actually." I couldn't help but smile at him as he led me through the doors even though I was absolutely positive that Pepper would no doubt hate my guts by the end of this entire ordeal. I followed him into the restaurant and then after the maître d, who led us to a table that had been set for two and reserved.

I pulled my coat off, sitting down in one of the seats and took the menu, nodding gratefully at the host who then extended one to Tony.

His face immediately wrinkled and he held his hand up, "I…" he hesitated and then shook his head, "It's just ‑ actually no. Just no. I have a thing about people handing me things. I don't like being handed things. Can you just set it down or something somewhere?"

I resisted the urge to begin giggling and instead bowed my head, watching from beneath my lashes as the perplexed man set the menu down on the corner of the table, bidding us a good meal while promising attention would come soon. Tony picked the menu up sighing heavily, then looked over it interestedly.

I frowned at him, "You really don't like it when people hand you things?"

"Nope," he shook his head, "I have a thing."

"I noticed."

He grinned widely, looking back at his menu for a moment before he spoke, "So," he looked back at me now, "no boyfriend today?"

I hesitated, staring at him, "Why would he be here?"

Tony shrugged, returning to the menu with new interest, "Just seems to me like he'd be the type of guy that would really want to be here is all."

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond to the statement and then looked down at my menu, deciding on the lamb, and set it aside. "I'd really rather not get into it with you right now, anyway, my relationship isn't something I really want to discuss here."

Tony's brow furrowed and he continued on anyway, "He seems like he'd be the kind of guy to get a bit annoyed by you being here with me ‑ sounds like a controlling kind of guy."

I stiffened at the remarks, then frowned at him, "He and I have an agreement regarding this. It's not a problem for us."

He nodded, half-interested, his eyes never leaving the menu, and I was inclined to wonder if he was actually listening to a word I was saying. Chances were, he was but simply didn't care.

"What are you having?" he asked, changing the topic abruptly.

I shrugged once. "Lamb, you?"

"The duck," he replied nodding.

We sat in silence for the next few minutes until the waiter returned and took our orders, with Tony ordering a bottle of wine as well. I forced myself to return his smile after he had finished ordering, though I was absolutely certain that Loki would have a conniption fit if he heard wine had come into the mix. He wasn't exactly cultured, but he at least knew that wine was more formal and occasionally used for romancing.

Tony leaned back in his seat then fixed me with a curious stare, breaking our silence, "So have you thought about it?"

"Sorry?" I raised both of my eyebrows at him curiously.

"What you want to do," Tony replied, clarifying, "what do you want to study?"

"Oh," I paused, "I...I don't know."

Disappointment flickered across his features for a moment before he carried on again, "Well, what are you good at?"

I shrugged, "I don't really have anything in particular that I'm good at," I admitted to him. "I mean, I guess I'm good at math, but that's it. My mother is actually very proud of my math skills - she says they're exceptional."

He grinned, leaning back towards me so that he could rest his forearms at the table. He spared the waiter a quick glance, nodding as the man set the wine down on the table with our glasses, "Thank you," he said, before returning to me. "You can do a lot of things with math."

"I'd have to reapply and plus my A levels in science weren't as good as they needed to be. Most math is applicable in science, so I'm kind of screwed out of things."

"What are you good at then? What do you like to do?"

I hesitated, wracking my brain for an answer before I finally said, "Field medicine. My step-father taught me a while ago. I can do all kinds of things with it."

"Why not medicine then?"

I shrugged again, beginning to feel the slightest bit frustrated with him, "I just can't. I'm not good with books when it comes to medicine. I don't like chemistry at all, the theory is so boring. I always practically slept through biology any time we were just talking about stuff that wasn't practical and weren't dissecting anything. I'm just good at being practical when it comes to medicine. I got good marks in advanced biology when I did a summer course at NYU and then again with anatomy, but we were basically doing labs half the time and I'm good at labs. I like labs. I know how to fix things and how to help people, but I'm awful at everything else. If you asked me about Bohr's contributions to chemistry I'd know nothing, but if you gave me someone that was bleeding I could fix it. I just can't."

His brow was furrowed now, his face unreadable. "You did the NYU summer session?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it was a while ago though. Why?"

"What did you get in your biology class?"

I lifted my shoulders once, saying simply, "I got a B."

"Any other classes?"

"Calculus. I got an A."

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen."

Tony nearly spit out his wine, "Damn," he blinked at me, his face genuinely surprised, "You really are good at math."

I smiled feebly, "Thanks."

He didn't bother to reply, instead he stared down into his wine for a few minutes, silence falling between us as he thought until he finally asked, "What about physics? Or is that a bad science too?"

I shook my head now, "I've always been good at physics. Numbers and formulas aren't a problem, theory is."

"You must really hate law then," Tony said without missing a beat.

I smirked at him, "I suppose that one could argue it's a social _science _and say that I'm bound to be bad at it then."

He grinned at me, allowing silence to fall between the two of us as the waiter returned with our meals, then said, "I could talk to the Head of the medical college at King's, you know. If you wanted to get in there, I mean."

I looked up at him in surprise, taken aback by the offer, "I…." I hesitated, "Tony, I don't understand."

"The Head of the Medical college is a friend of a friend of a friend, who I met at a fundraiser not too long ago. We got along pretty well, he was very interested in nanotechnology in medicine. He's got this theory that my suit technology could be used for nanotech and gave me his number. I could pull some strings if you wanted to apply for the medical school at King's."

I gaped at him, watching as he began to cut apart the roast duck on his plate, and made a few weak noises, "I-I-I - Tony, I -"

"You can say yes," he looked up at me, "it's fine if you want to."

"I wouldn't ask for special treatment," I managed to get out finally, flushing red. I _did _want it, but the simple fact was that I wouldn't be getting in fairly.

Tony rolled his eyes, "It's not special treatment if you deserve it."

I spluttered, "Of course it is!" I whispered furiously. "I-I didn't get the right marks and there's someone out there who did that ought to have that place!"

His brow furrowed and he grimaced, "You've got to be _kidding_."

If it was possible, I only grew redder, embarrassed.

"No," I muttered, picking up my napkin. I laid it down in my lap, "I just don't think like you and -" I stopped myself, realizing that I was close to saying Loki's name, then shook my head, taking a sip of my wine instead. "Never mind. I don't care."

"Your boyfriend?"

I set my glass down a little harder than I anticipated and Tony's eyebrows went up in surprise. I shot him a look then went back to cutting apart the piece of lamb on my plate. "He has a similar mindset, it doesn't matter though. But if you really do know this guy ‑ the head of the Medical College, then you have access to my file, why haven't you looked at it yet?"

"Who's to say I haven't?" Tony asked in between bites.

I grimaced, "And?"

"Calc II at NYU is pretty impressive for a sixteen year old."

I snorted, not missing the fact that he had even caught my dodging around having taken Calculus II rather than simply Calculus. "So you're a liar? You just pretended to know nothing about me to get information out of me instead?"

Tony's eyes narrowed and he took another bite of his food before he set down his fork, staring at me, "I wouldn't call it lying, Raleigh. I just wanted to know what I was dealing with. I wanted to see how much you'd be willing to tell me first." He looked so incredibly self-satisfied, it was infuriating. And then, "Your mother has a Master's in Art History?"

"Yes," I said flatly. "That's not in my file, though, how did you find that?"

Tony grinned at me, "I might've asked JARVIS to take a look at you. All interns are looked into."

I nodded, playing along, sarcasm dripping from my voice, "And so what else did you find out?"

"Your father is a part of one of the largest engineering firms in New York and is extremely well-respected, your younger brother has led the Trinity junior varsity basketball team to victory and just made the varsity team. You grew up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. You moved here on a more permanent basis in 2010 and were in the Windrush house at Headington. You played hockey until you took a crack to the head with a raised stick, you also were an equestrian, and you ran cross country. You applied to St. Andrews, King's College, and Queen Mary's for your university and were accepted at all three. But what I find most interesting of all is that you also work in a bookshop here in London."

I stared at him.

"Am I not supposed to work?" I asked, barely able to keep the anger out of my voice now.

He had completely violated my privacy by having Jarvis look through my personal information.

He'd had absolutely no right to do a background check!

"No," Tony shook his head and took a drink of his wine, "I just find it interesting and a little ironic that I'd find a bookseller when I'm looking for a book myself."

My blood ran cold at his words. "Excuse me?"

"Loki is looking for this book," Tony explained, "I thought I went over it with you?" I shook my head, feigning dumb, and Tony sighed, continuing on then, "Well, anyway, he's looking for this Book and his main goal, we think anyway, is to take over Earth by using it. It's bound to lead to something else that's just as bad and that'll end up in war. And I don't want that. After New York…" he trailed off, his eyes glazing over for a few moments before he added faintly, "I just don't want repeat of that."

"It was that bad, wasn't it?"

He nodded, "I have nightmares about it still. I can still smell it sometime, too."

I stared at him, feeling my anger dissipate immediately, replaced instead with sympathy, "I can't imagine that."

He shrugged, poking at his food for a moment, "I'd be wrong to expect you to," he said quietly.

Without thinking, I reached across the table, covering his hand with my own and gave it a gentle squeeze, meeting his gaze head on as he looked up at me.

There was so much that I wished I could say then, so much I wanted to tell him.

I wanted to tell him about Loki, about the Book of Ullr, about Wales and the Chitauri, about everything that had happened to me since the autumn, but instead I remained silent, simply holding his hand gently until he finally pulled away.

"I'm serious about it, you know," he told me, "you have an internship opportunity with Stark Industries waiting for you. All you have to do is say yes."

I nodded, "I know."

"But you won't," he sighed, "your boyfriend is definitely getting in the way of things, isn't he?"

"Are you any closer to getting him?" I asked curiously, ignoring his question about my "boyfriend."

He shook his head, understanding and sighing, "I wish we were," he said with a frown. He looked up at me again, his voice taking on a determined edge then, "But we will."

* * *

I hurried up the stairwell towards the flat quickly, mind racing as I thought about the lunch I'd had with Tony. It had been good, there wasn't anything concrete I'd found out but still, at least I knew they weren't any closer to finding him now.

It could've been so much worse, I decided as I neared the door to the flat.

Loki, at least, would be relatively satisfied and might stop spending so much time out of the flat, doing nothing to advance his search for the Book. Saying that Tony Stark was also looking for it was sure to be the necessary kick in the ass for him.

I pulled my key out of my bag, sliding it into the lock and then stopped, surprised to find that the door was open.

How _odd_.

Loki never left open the door.

I pushed the door to the flat open cautiously, then stepped over the threshold, shutting it, I waited in silence, listening carefully.

I could hear something in the distance, somewhere towards the back of the flat and then walked forward, down the hall, and came to a stop at the edge of the living area, my eyes widening at the sight that awaited me.

I couldn't believe it.

A strange blonde girl was standing near the bedroom door, her hair mussed, her look satisfied, and perched on her tiptoes, kissing him as he leaned out of the bedroom, clearly nude.

And without warning, my stomach lurched, nauseous, and I found myself bolting for the bathroom to rid myself of my lunch.

* * *

_A/N: Please R&R! I do love hearing from you guys. _

_Again, I'm horribly sorry that this has taken me so long to get up. This chapter was extraordinarily frustrating to write for me and I have no idea why. Hopefully I'll be a little bit more regular again after this. _

_And as for the reviews from before..._

**Zozeebobs**- Glad to hear, thank you! And I've always been of the mind that her life was/is always in jeopardy due to Loki.  
**kswaf** - HA! Brilliant. Thank you. :p And don't be embarrassed, your work is quite good! I haven't seen anything in it that merits a swift kick in the pants from me and I'm a super critical reader normally. But thank you again, I really appreciate that, especially the bits about characterization.  
**Dontgotaclue88** - I wouldn't count on that any time soon if I were you. Will be taking something that's a bit more earth shattering than Tony Stark for Loki to take a reality check.  
**mydarkestway** - Hm, I suppose that's one of those opinion things. I always imagine it looking like Hiddles's hair when it was short (well, longer but short, nonetheless) and dark though.  
**KMD88** - You make me smile, thank you! :D  
**purplenurpl**- Woo! **_Girl Power!_**Thanks!  
**Baudelaire** - First off, thank you very much. Secondly, I quite like your theories. :)~ But I'm a rotten human being and simply can't spill anything. Principle.  
**Disenchanted310** - You also make me smile. You're wonderful. And thank you again so much! :D  
**Ellize Avalon**- A full out jealousy scene isn't going to come into play for a couple more chapters if I'm plotting in my head correctly. But who knows, sometimes the characters surprise me. Glad that you liked the last chapter and I can assure you that there is plenty more to come beyond this chapter (which is like filler to tide me and everyone over).


	15. Blurred Vision

**Disclaimer****:** _I don't own any Marvel licensed characters. Save for the plot and any OCs, I claim no ownership._

_A/N: Er, not sure if this is necessary, but possible trigger warning for hard substance abuse. You've been warned._

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Blurred Vision**

"What the hell are you playing at?" I demanded angrily.

Loki's eyes rose from the map to my face, then once over my body before he shrugged, "I'm not playing anything, Raleigh, what are you talking about?"

I ground my teeth together, "Like hell you aren't," I snapped. "What's with the girl?"

"We copulated," Loki replied shortly, shuffling around some papers, "Was that not obvious enough for you?"

I could feel my cheeks burn at the jab and set my jaw, "It was perfectly obvious just what happened," I told him, my voice terse, "I want to know why ‑ she's a Midgardian just like I am, why her?"

He smirked at me, his voice sickly sweet as he said, "I required someone more experienced that would better appreciate my skills as a lover."

I wanted to hit him.

But instead, I turned on my heel, storming out of the kitchen and to the sofa where I threw myself down, eyes stinging with fresh tears. I curled up into a tight ball as I lay down, folding my arms and bringing my knees up to my chest as I forced myself to focus on the television.

I could hear the chair legs scrape against the floor and Loki's footsteps, light, quiet, on the hardwood floors as he padded across the room to loom over me.

"How very petulant of you," he murmured. "You go for food with Stark and accept his advances yet you have such an issue with my finding another woman to be satisfying."

"Tony Stark isn't about to take me to his penthouse to sleep with me," I snapped at him, feeling my temper flare. "You, on the other hand, have decided that it's perfectly acceptable to bring another woman here and to sleep with her in my bed!"

"_Your_ bed?" Loki arched one dark eyebrow at me.

I flushed, staring at him as I understood the implication: I owned nothing here, he owned everything. This was his castle and I was a guest, a servant. "It's just as much mine as it is yours. I sleep in it."

Loki scoffed, "It certainly isn't now."

I stared at him, rendered speechless, and then decided that I would ignore him, instead rolling over to give him my back.

"Are you ill?" he asked me after a few minutes of silence.

"It would appear that I am," I replied, seething.

"Hm," Loki chuckled, then began to walk away towards the bedroom, "then do well to make sure that you don't stain the carpet. I needn't have to explain that away to anyone."

I sat up slightly, shocked by the words, and watched as he slipped into our bedroom ‑ no, I decided as I laid back down on the sofa, it wasn't _our _anything, it was _his _room. I had no place there anymore. I was dispensable to him.

* * *

It became routine.

I found myself falling into a pattern quickly, arriving home to find a strange girl slipping out of the flat with a satisfied and giddy look on her face, other times walking in to find that the bedroom door had been left ajar and I could hear each sound as I sat on the sofa, attempting to watch the news. What most annoyed me was watching how they pranced around the flat while he watched from the bedroom, his eyes often burning a hole in my back.

I began taking to sleeping at the store on some nights. It hadn't been my initial plan, but soon after walking in on the god with a half naked girl in the kitchen I'd decided that it would be more prudent to avoid the situation. It wasn't comfortable, but it at least offered me some peace of mind and solace, which I wasn't receiving when I slept on the sofa at Loki's flat.

The days quickly began to drag on and into weeks and while I scoured for clues in the book, Loki continued to make a point of bringing home girls and brushing off my complaints as if they didn't exist. Tony, at least, proved to be a good outlet for my stress and worth spending time with, which only seemed to further aggravate Loki. It had to be a game, surely his being with other women was a game ‑ it was something that I eventually began to tell myself and insist upon for it was a game that two of us could play.

It was an extremely careful line to walk, I found. Pretending to be perfectly normal with Tony while double crossing him and siphoning all of the information I learned about the Avengers back to Loki was far more difficult than I had anticipated. I'd learnt plenty certainly, but there was little to nothing at all that I could do to defend myself if Tony were to ever realise just what I was doing.

The dangers of double crossing Tony Stark aside, I had at least discovered that the Avengers were indeed planning on arriving in London sometime within the spring and that Nick Fury had made finding Loki his top priority. Loki, of course, didn't see anything wrong with this and had shrugged it off, returning to a crossword puzzle soon after I finished recounting just what I had found.

* * *

Jenny looked over at me as we left the tube station, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her purse. She offered me the pack and I shook my head at her, uninterested.

"No thanks," I frowned, "I thought you quit anyway."

She shrugged, placing one of the cigarettes between her lips. Lighting it, she took a few puffs and then removed it, exhaling a mouthful of smoke, "I picked it back up before exams," she replied simply. "Bad habits and all of that."

I nodded at her, not interested in commenting on how the smoke turned my stomach over or dwelling on the fact that I had quit with her a little over a year before.

"So any reason why you agreed to come tonight?" she asked me as we continued to make our way down the street. She looked over at me curiously, arching one eyebrow at me to let me know that I couldn't simply shrug off her question.

"I needed a break," I told her, which was half-true.

"You hate clubbing though," she remarked as we continued to walk through the dark streets. "You dressed up for this, too, are you and the god done for or something?"

I looked over at her, frowning, "I...just needed to get out for a night. You said you were going to Ministry of Sound so I offered to come. You know what it's like, it's better that I'm here."

It was now her turn to frown, "You're not here because you're scared I'm going to do drugs. You're here because you're angry that he's getting laid and you're not."

I gave Jenny a dirty look but said nothing. I wasn't willing to deny it. There _was _a part of me that was bitter that Loki was finding it so easy to get girls to come home with him when I managed to fumble around and screw up any time I began to try hitting on a stranger. Being just as petty as he was wasn't going to make things better, but at least I'd be having sex with someone that wasn't about to completely batter my body.

Jenny looped her arm through mine, continuing to walk with me towards the club and smiled at me brightly. "It's okay, Raleigh," she told me with a nod. "We'll find you a nice Englishman tonight."

* * *

Tony opened the door wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, his hair mussed, and his sleep-filled eyes widened at the sight of me.

"Raleigh!" he stood up a little straighter, surprised, and his brow furrowed as he continued on, "What are you doing here?" he poked his head out the door, peering around the hall curiously, "Is everything all right?"

I nodded, my vision still swimming, and gestured to the dark penthouse, "Yeah," I nodded at him. "I'm good. Can I come in?"

He blinked, surprised and then nodded, "Yeah, sure, of course." He stepped back and then to the side, opening the door a little wider so that I could step through with ease. I quickly crossed the threshold, then stopped, staring with an open mouth at the inside of his London home.

The colours were marvellous. I stared at the bright hues interestedly, taking in the paintings that hung from the living room walls with wonder, the images looked almost three dimensional from where I stood. I moved around quickly, walking towards the closest and inspected it with wide-eyed curiosity, my mind racing wildly.

"This is beautiful," I said, looking up at Tony as he approached, still looking like he was half-asleep. "Where did you get it?"

He looked at the canvas for a few moments then shrugged, "Pepper bought it. I was going to get rid of it on Monday."

I looked back at him, staring, "What do you mean?" I asked him. "Why would you get rid of this? It's beautiful. Look at the colours, it's practically three dimensional, isn't it? The yellow and the blue, look how they swirl together. How is that not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

Tony was frowning at me and then reached out, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He turned my head slowly so that I faced him and then stared down at me as if he were inspecting me.

"Are you _high_?" he asked me finally and I could hear the note of incredulity in his voice, the shock at the realisation.

I stopped, then began to laugh delightedly, shrugging, and shook him off, moving to the next painting. "I went out with Jenny, that's all," I told him as I narrowly avoided tripping over the coffee table's leg.

"Raleigh," Tony placed a gentle hand on my arm as he approached me and I looked away from the abstract painting that hung on the opposite side of the mantle piece, staring up at him. "What did you do?"

I shrugged again, "It wasn't anything serious, don't worry about it." I turned back to the painting, staring at the different lines of paint as they intersected, practically popping out of the canvas at me. I reached out, barely interested in caring about the integrity of the artwork, and ran my fingertips over the canvas, feeling the texture of the paint beneath my fingers. The lightest of touches felt as if I were rubbing my fingers across the canvas, warming my skin immediately. "These really are beautiful. Do you know where Pepper found them?"

"That's great, I'm glad you like Pepper's choice in paintings. What kind of drugs did you do?"

"It's connected, all of these lines. It's just so beautiful. Do you think it's representative of us? Us as humans? I think that's what the artist wanted to say. I think he wanted to talk about being interconnected..." I looked up at him again and this time he took me by both of my forearms, holding me tightly. "Tony, what's wrong?"

"What drugs did you do?"

I frowned, sighing, "Why does it matter?"

"Maybe because you showed up at my penthouse at four in the morning high, but I'm pretty sure I'd be concerned if anyone showed up at my home and started ranting about a bunch of splotches representing the human race and being 3D..." He frowned at the paintings, "Pepper could probably take them back to her place with the tea tables."

I scowled, hardly interested in hearing about Pepper, who had recently left him after a rather high tempered argument, and pulled away from him, peeling off my jacket which I threw down on the sofa. I fished around in the coat pocket for a moment, finding the pack of cigarettes I had pilfered from Jenny and then made my way towards the balcony.

_"Raleigh!"_

I looked over my shoulder as I pulled one of the cigarettes from the pack, placing it between my lips and frowned at Tony, watching as he made his way across the living room to where I was standing.

"Relax, Tony," I held my hands up, "I'm not going to smoke inside. Don't worry."

"What did you do?" he asked me, blocking the glass door. "Tell me what drugs you did right now."

I rolled my eyes, "There were some guys at the Ministry of Sound who had some ecstasy, it's not a big deal. I'm coming off my peak soon anyway," I said, trying to slip past him to get to the balcony. "Tony, come on!"

"Did you do anything else?"

I pursed my lips, "I drank. That's it."

"No weed? No heroin? You didn't snort anything?"

"God, Tony, do you think I'm an idiot?" I asked him, frowning. I gestured to the balcony, "Let me out, it's hot in here."

He moved slowly, opening the door to allow me outside and I took the opportunity greedily, hurrying out into the cold night air. The sweat that had been steadily forming on my skin immediately chilled and the cold air tingled against my bare flesh, though my body still felt unbelievably hot. I lit my cigarette quickly and then tucked the lighter into the pack and walked towards the balcony railing. I folded my arms on the cool metal, staring out at the dark London skyline, allowing the winter air to lift goosebumps on my skin, tossing my hair around helter skelter when the wind blew.

"It's so different from home," I remarked as Tony joined me, pulling a jacket on over his shirt. "New York is never this quiet at night."

"It's a nice change," said Tony, resting his hands on the railing. He looked down at me, "Is the smoking something you've been keeping quiet about or just a new habit like your thing with e?"

"I've done e before," I told him honestly. "Jenny and I went to Reading last year and did it there, too."

He stared at me for a few moments, then looked out at the building that was across from his own, "And the smoking?"

"I quit a year ago," I nodded. "Well, I quit right before the summer holidays started. I'd been quitting for a year but Jenny thought I quit cold. It helps. Have you…?"

Tony nodded, "I've done my fair share, can't say much about you doing them, too." He watched as I pulled the cigarette from between my lips, flicking the ash from the end while I exhaled a puff of smoke, then said, "How much did you drink tonight?"

"Few cocktails, nothing too fancy."

He nodded, "Was your boyfriend there tonight?"

"No," I shook my head, "he's out doing something somewhere with other people, I'm sure. Jenny had an extra ticket so I decided I wanted to go out. I haven't been out in a while." I flicked the ash from the end of my cigarette once again, watching as it disappeared into the dark night and then returned it to its place between my lips, taking a long drag of the menthol cigarette, the flavour coating my throat.

Tony looked down at me, then moved a little bit closer, allowing me to lean against him. He shifted just enough so that his arms were placed securely on either side of me and I leaned back, resting my head against his shoulder. I stood like this with him for a while, smoking my cigarette and then several more while Tony wrapped his arms around me, his jacket offering me some extra warmth as I began to come down from my peak, my body cooling and my heartbeat slowing.

He pressed closer as I shivered and I closed my eyes, taking a particularly deep drag of the cigarette as he held me a little tighter. His hands felt so good for some odd reason, in fact his entire body felt good against my own, warm, strong, strangely inviting. I pressed myself back a little closer to him and he gave me a gentle squeeze, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"Do you miss New York?" he asked me, trying to make small talk.

I nodded, "Yeah, I miss it. But it's really different now. It's always different when you go back, isn't it? Nothing is ever really the same. Colours are never alike and tastes are different, even the sounds are strange…" I trailed off, opening my eyes and stared up at the night sky, wondering how many stars were masked from our view due to the city lights and clouds. "Stars are always the same though," I murmured, pulling my cigarette from my lips to let out a breath of smoke. "I can't see them here and I can't see them there. But I know they're up there. You see them though, don't you? You can fly up there, right?"

He nodded, the stubble that had formed on the underside of his chin scratched at the bare skin of my shoulder as he did so and I sighed heavily, "I could see them at Headington sometimes and when I went to Wales at Christmas I looked up at them, too. There's so many of them and they're all so beautiful. Other galaxies and universes and even other planets out there…. Do you think that when they look up on their planets they think about us, too?"

Tony's body stiffened slightly and he said quietly, "Who?"

"Asgardians," I replied, frowning at him, "I mean, they've got to be up there and look at us and think about what we're doing here like we think about them and what they're doing up there, right? I mean, it must be so different. Do you reckon the stars are just alike there? Like how here we can see the same stars in New York and London? How they're always constant?"

"How do you know about Asgardians, Raleigh?" Tony asked me, his arms tightening around my waist as he did so.

I sighed, pinching out the cigarette as I finished with it and then dropped it over the rail into the darkness just as I had with the others. I looked up at him, "Well, that's where they came from isn't it?" I asked him. "Loki and the others, right?"

He frowned, "How did you know?"

"Well," I shrugged, turning and hugging him tightly, "I read this book when I was at work about Norse mythology and that's what it said. It said that they live on this big planet called Asgard and that there's all these other realms and elves and they like drinking a lot, too. They're not so different from us, are they? Do you reckon they're all that different from us? They have wars and they have drinks and that sort of thing so they can't be that different, can they?"

"I'm pretty sure that they can be very different," Tony replied as I nestled myself close to his chest, slipping my bare arms around his middle beneath the jacket he wore in the hopes of achieving a little extra warmth.

"Loki doesn't count," I said, shaking my head. "He's adopted."

Tony was silent for some time, then, "Have you met him?"

"Who?"

"Loki."

I shook my head, giggling, "No, don't be silly. I would tell you if I did. Jeez, Tony..." I giggled again, poking him in the chest playfully, "...don't you trust me at all?"

"Would you?" Tony asked, watching as I slowly pulled away from him, "Would you tell me if you knew something about him?"

I stared at him, feeling a strange weight settle in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. Had I said too much? Did he know? Shit. Had I given it all away? I quickly began to fumble with the pack of cigarettes in the hopes of having another smoke when Tony reached out, stopping me. I looked up at him, eyes wide, and was struck for a moment by how handsome he was this close.

He was older, sure, but that didn't mean anything. It didn't mean anything at all that he could've been my father. It certainly didn't stop me from finding his eyes to be entirely mesmerising. Even the age lines of his face were strangely beautiful and I leaned in a little closer, looking at the lines that were close to his mouth and eyes, the faint light that the living room of the penthouse cast upon us allowed me to see the faintest sign of freckles on his cheeks, and my gaze slowly fell to his pale lips.

Tony carefully pried the pack of cigarettes from my hands as I stared at him, drinking in his looks with new fascination, and slipped it into the pocket of his jacket.

"No more," he murmured in my ear, "they're not good for you."

"I'm not very good at finding things that are good for me," I replied. A cigarette still dangling from my lips, I reached for his pocket only to have him take my wrists, holding them firmly in his hands. _"Tony…."_

He shook his head at me, "No more."

I sighed heavily and freed my wrists from his hands as he relaxed his grip, then pulled the cigarette from between my lips and, holding it between my fingers, wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. He returned the affection gently, his arms strong around me as he embraced me and I pressed my cheek to his chest, my eyes falling upon the faint blue glow that illuminated the front of his shirt.

Because of his business suits and ties layered over the very essence that made Iron Man possible, I'd never seen the arc reactor before and so, curious, I reached out, touching it with my free hand. Tony pulled back just enough to watch as I did so, his brow knit together as he followed the movements of my fingers.

"How does it work?" I asked him, my fingers hovering over the small reactor. I could practically feel the energy pouring off of it, though I couldn't be sure if it were truly the arc reactor or if the drugs still had a strong effect on me despite my coming down from the peak.

"It's pretty complicated, I wouldn't want to bore you."

I grinned, looking up at him, "You know you couldn't bore me."

He shrugged, "It's a long story."

"Well," I mused, carefully poking at the blue light with my pointer finger, "I suppose I've got time."

It was Tony's turn to grin now and he nodded slowly, looking over his shoulder at the penthouse that waited behind him, "Well, if you really want to know, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you inside and insist that you take off that dress and put on something a little more appropriate."

I laughed and rested my head against his chest again as I hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Tony," I mumbled into his jacket.

"What for?" he asked, rubbing my back gently. He sounded genuinely puzzled and so I looked up at him, barely moving from my snug position against his chest. He was so warm. He was such a warm person and his body, too, felt so warm against my own. It was strange to have found someone like this amid all of the chaos that seemed to fall upon me, making my life more difficult, yet it was a welcome oddity. Tony, for whatever reason, approved of me, accepted me, and hadn't turned me away even as I stood at his door, drunk and high.

Standing on my tiptoes, I left a gentle kiss against his cheek, his stubble scratching at my lips as I did so. Returning to the ground, I kept my arms wrapped around his neck and stared into his eyes, focusing on the dark of his irises and how they seemed to bore into me despite the surprised look on his face. I gave him a sheepish smile, "Because you're good for me."

* * *

_Please read and review, I'd really appreciate it!_

_Reviews!_

**Ellize Avalon****:** _The jealousy theme definitely is one that I plan on keeping and characterizing for quite a while. You'll see it from both ends though, I assure you. And no, no illusions. Not yet anyway. Those might come later on._  
**Poodle Warriors****:** _No worries about flubbing your review! Made me giggle a bit. :) I'm really glad that you enjoy it so much, I really appreciate that and definitely appreciate knowing that I've written the character properly. I'd say Loki's motivations are a little bit of both. As for Tony, still mum on that one, though I think most people should hopefully understand it by now. Thank you very much and I'll definitely be continuing now that I've gotten myself out of my slump and am thinking of the plot in a proper sense once again. :D_  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** _Oreos are fantastic, but I'd definitely want to chuck them up after witnessing something like that._  
**Baudelaire****:** _Oooh, I wish I could tell you just what's afoot. Definitely good guesses. _  
**OC'sforever****:** _Ah, thank you! I was pronouncing it with a 'k' sound at first but then when I was translating it on Google again I listened and it kept giving me a 'sh' sound. Glad to know what's right. I appreciate it. :) Thanks again!_  
**kswaf****:** _Of course. :) And you should kick his ass. But if you don't do it then I'm sure someone else will sooner or later..._  
**Fat Old Sun****:** _What confused you exactly? I just want to be sure so I can try to explain. Feel free to PM me as well if you'd like to talk a little bit more at length about it. She was indeed just a random Midgardian girl (and I love to leave you hanging because I'm Satan in a mortal's body). There's definitely going to be a resolution between Raleigh and Tony soon enough, I can say that. About what, can't tell you for certain, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's soon._  
**mydarkestway****:** _Grrr indeed! And there's definitely going to be more Tony to come. Lots of Tony to come really. I'm glad you enjoyed it and will endeavour to keep it up! :D_  
**Guest****:** _Sorry! I have been told that I'm Satan by quite a few people for this little gem and how I like to leave cliffhangers like that. And thank you! Will be trying to update a bit more properly in the next few weeks (I keep saying that but keep getting bothered by various school related things and the like)._


	16. Heads and Tails

**A/N:** _Surprise! I wrote two in a week (THIS NEVER HAPPENS I KNOW - I'M EXCITED TOO)! Consider it an early Christmas present. Also, I'm going to pimp out my good friend to all of you - KMD88 - she's just written her first FF on her that's also Loki/OFC and you should go read it. She's a highly talented writer and absolutely lovely and deserves heaps of praise. But do be gentle with her, it is her first fic._

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing but the OFC, OCs, and plot. I claim no ownership to any characters, plot, and setting related to the Marvel Cinematic Universe or comic books._

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Heads and Tails**

I opened my eyes slowly, mouth dry, head aching, and looked around myself blearily. I had been sleeping soundly in a large bed with dark, downy blankets swathed around me, insulating me from the room's slightly chilled air. I sat up, pushing the blankets away and rubbed my face wearily, trying my damnedest to remember where I was, how I had arrived there, and just what had happened.

At least I was wearing clothes, I found to my own relief. Even if it was a strange man's shirt and a set of boxers, at least it was clothing. I sighed softly, pushing the blankets back from my bare legs and then slowly began to crawl from the bed, trying to remember the previous evening as best as I could.

I could remember getting to the Ministry of Sound with Jenny, dancing and drinking with her until the early hours of the morning before deciding to take a smoke break outside. I'd followed, I could remember that, and had taken the rare cigarette despite Jenny gently mocking me for doing so. It became hazier afterwards, as we'd returned to the club with two men ‑ surely they were the ones that had given us the ecstasy? ‑ drinking with them and dancing.

That had to have been when I'd first taken the pill then, I decided. I could remember a strange man offering it and Jenny eagerly taking the offer, while I'd followed in suit not to be left out and deemed a wet blanket.

_Idiot, _a voice in my head admonished darkly.

After that it hadn't been too terrible… No, no, that was a lie. I could have sworn that I'd seen him when I was out on the floor with Jenny and the men, dancing with them. I could have sworn that I heard his laugh and voice, carrying over the loud bass of the house music. I could have sworn that I heard Loki in the club, seen him with a strange girl, and it had turned my stomach over, made me feel weak.

I paced around the strange bedroom, rubbing my temples, mouth dry, and wracked my mind for some little bit of peace ‑ I couldn't remember anything in large chunks after that. I'd gone for the bar and I could vaguely recall Jenny trying to talk me down, then making excuses, leaving. I'd been scared then, overheating with my heart pounding in my chest, my stomach in knots with nerves. Even if I had been imagining his voice, imagining him there, I was still quaking like a leaf, still nauseated and desperate to escape lest I be confronted by him.

I had intended to take the tube, but had ended up taking a cab.

I turned quickly on my heel, making my way across the room to where my things were. Where was my dress? It wasn't on the chair with my shoes or clutch or coat. What had happened to it?

I pushed the thought aside, rooting through my clutch until I had found my money, counting the bills that I had left inside. I was missing twenty quid…. I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose and then tossed it back down, letting out an exasperated sigh.

Why had I had so much to drink?!

"Damn it!" I slammed my fist down on the dresser that sat next to the chair and bristled when I heard the door open. I could barely remember what had happened, now I was supposed to play nice with a strange man that I had slept with, how wonderful.

"Easy there, kiddo."

I turned, unable to mask my surprise as I found Tony lounging in the doorway, a stupid grin on his face as he stared at me.

"I came to _you_?" I asked, unable to hide my shock.

His brow furrowed, "Well, don't thank me so fast for taking you in off the cold London streets like the hero I am."

I laughed sourly, crossing the room to the doorway where he stood, relaxed and amused with me. "What happened?"

"Well, I was out on my nightly patrol of London when I saw you wobbling around drunk and high and then I whisked you up and flew you back here ‑ no?" he arched an eyebrow at me when I didn't immediately bite on his anecdote.

"No," I shook my head. "I kind of remember it, I had a lot to drink though."

"You said you had a few cocktails."

"I never said I was a heavyweight, though, did I?"

He chuckled, turning back to the rest of the penthouse and then began to walk from the room while I followed. "Do you want breakfast?" he asked me curiously.

"Breakfast would be nice," I agreed, nodding at him. I looked around his home curiously, noting with some relief that there was a blanket and pillow on the sofa ‑ I hadn't tried thrusting myself upon him then. That was definitely a big weight off my shoulders.

"So we didn't have sex?" the words were out before I could stop them and Tony turned, looking at me from behind the refrigerator door.

"Did you want to?"

I felt my cheeks burn at the question and I quickly looked down at my feet, "It was just a question."

"So was that," he replied, grinning at me as he shut the fridge door. "But, for the record, we didn't. You also took the shirt I had planned on wearing to my meeting this morning."

I looked down at the shirt I was wearing, it was a pale lavender colour, probably over expensive, and fell to my mid-thigh. I couldn't remember getting anything from his closet, though I would take his word for it ‑ I'd probably taken the first one I'd liked or whatever stood out the most. I glanced back up at him, crossing the room to the kitchen and then slid onto one of the island barstools, watching him.

"Sorry," I said lamely.

"For what?" Tony raised his eyebrows as he began pulling eggs from a carton. "How many do you want?"

"Two or three," I said before continuing on, "I just feel like I've inconvenienced you, that's all."

"Three then," he nodded. "How do you like them cooked?"

"Scrambled," I replied, "I didn't, did I?"

He looked up at me, his face crinkling at the suggestion and he scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous, Raleigh. You needed to go somewhere. It's better that you're here than out on a street somewhere."

I gave him a tight-lipped smile in reply.

"Where would you have gone if I didn't answer?" he asked curiously, cracking the eggs into a small mixing bowl.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I wasn't really thinking last night. Might've gone to King's Cross and taken a train for Cambridge. Mother would have strung me up by my toes for showing up like that though so I don't know."

He grinned wryly, "I like to think I'm the better choice."

I laughed quietly, pulling one of the potatoes that he had left out towards myself with a cutting block and knife, then began to slice it into cubes, thinking. This was nice, sitting and cooking in absolute silence was nice. I couldn't remember a single time when I'd ever done this with Loki, cooked beside him rather than for him, in fact I was quite certain that he had never even bothered to offer. He probably couldn't cook, but the fact remained.

"Did you know it was me?" I asked Tony curiously as I finished scraping the potatoes into a metal bowl and then reached for another.

"No," he shook his head at me. "I didn't know that it was you."

"Isn't Jarvis here?" I asked him, brow furrowing.

"Indeed, I am, Miss Alexander," a voice sounded from somewhere in the room. I smiled at the sound, sparing Tony a quick glance to see he looked rather pleased with himself.

"Jarvis doesn't answer the door," Tony replied, "he just locks it. Not all of us rich people have butlers, you know."

I grinned in reply, catching the tongue-in-cheek remark, and then returned to the potatoes. "I only asked because I figured he would have told you it was me and just let me in."

"That would be rude." Tony passed me another potato, "Besides, neither of us know if you're secretly an axe-wielding maniac. You could've been here to kill me in my sleep."

"I think I'd have done a better job if I was," I replied, cutting into the fresh potato. "How did I get past security though?"

"Security recognises you," Tony explained quietly. "You're a non-threat. You have clearance to take the elevator by yourself and to visit me here whenever you want."

"Sir?" Jarvis interrupted, "Miss Potts is on the line requesting to speak with you. She says that it's urgent."

"If it involves her taking the armchair from Miami, she's not getting it."

"Sir," Jarvis stressed, "I really do believe you may wish to speak to her as it is in regards to important matters of business that are highly confidential."

Tony spared me an apologetic glance and then abandoned his post at the stovetop, walking from the kitchen to another room. I could hear the sound of a door close in the distance and then total silence. It was S.H.I.E.L.D. business, I wasn't stupid enough to believe anything less than that. Any other time Pepper's call would have been taken in front of me, it was only when S.H.I.E.L.D. came into the mix that I lost my privileges of being privy to all of Tony's personal information.

"Hey, Jarvis, could you turn the news on?" I asked curiously. "The BBC or something?"

"Certainly, Miss Alexander." I turned on the barstool, watching as the television that hung above the mantle flickered to life, BBC's morning segment playing on the screen. I watched it in silence, staring at the common place images of gunfire and fear in the Middle Eastern countries, the numerous power suits and ties that invade political arenas which followed in subsequent reports, and tales of the upcoming inauguration in Washington for Barack Obama. I turned away eventually, listening to the news as I slid from the stool and began to explore the kitchen in search of spices and oil to prepare the potatoes. If Tony wasn't coming back, I had no intention of missing my breakfast. I couldn't remember the last thing I'd eaten and felt famished.

Tony emerged from his study as I was pouring the potatoes into a skillet, and smiled at me warmly, joining me at the counter where he began to mix our eggs in their respective bowls. I looked up at him, arching an eyebrow curiously as the potatoes began to crackle.

"What does S.H.I.E.L.D. want?" I asked him.

Tony shook his head, "Can't tell you that one, dearest, ask another question."

I frowned, "Are you going to your meeting today?"

"Yep, I pushed it back to around two, two-thirty," he told me, sparing a glance towards the clock that hung above the refrigerator.

"Half two?" I asked, following his gaze and noting that it was already quarter past noon. I looked back at Tony, noticing for the first time that he was still in a pair of sweatpants and had yet to shave ‑ or likely even shower. "Not going dressed like that are you?"

"Well, you took my shirt, do I really have an option?"

"I would give it back, but you took my dress, so do _I _really have an option?" I countered, looking up at him as I pushing the potatoes around the skillet, turning them over.

Tony muttered something under his breath that I didn't catch though I could have sworn I caught _'smart ass' _and_ 'could take it back right now if I really wanted.' _I grinned at him, then returned to the skillet I had.

"You could," I agreed, deciding against holding my tongue. I looked up at him, pleased to see that he was surprised that I'd heard his remark.

"Oh, I could," Tony leaned so close that I could feel the lightest sensation of his lips moving against my ear as he spoke, "but I'm afraid you have a boyfriend still."

I scowled at the mention of Loki, scraping the skillet a little more violently than I intended which made him laugh.

"It's not funny," I told him.

"Trouble in paradise?"

I ignored the remark. "I don't make jokes about you and Pepper," I said tartly.

He frowned, changing the subject, "You could say a lot of things about Pepper and I, I guess, but I really don't know much about your boyfriend. How come I've never met him?"

"He doesn't want to meet you," I told him truthfully. "He's not exactly your biggest fan."

"So he's jealous," Tony said more than asked. "I understand. It's much more difficult to best Iron Man than a random drunk man."

"That was a lame joke even by your standards," I shot back, "and I wouldn't say he's jealous, but he definitely doesn't care for you."

"Why shouldn't he be jealous?" Tony asked pouring one of the bowls into the pan he had in front of himself. "I get to spend more time with you than he does."

"I don't think that bothers him half as much as you do."

"It should," Tony replied, grinning. "I've got you sleeping in my bed these days."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Doesn't count if you're on the sofa."

"I'm not going to sleep with a taken woman," he said simply, "lose the boyfriend and we can talk turkey."

I stopped, looking up at him in surprise, "Are you being serious with me?"

He shrugged, "Maybe. I guess that you'll never know until you dump the boy."

"It's not that easy," I sighed, testing one of the potatoes curiously. I looked up at him, noting his bemused expression, "What?"

"All you have to say is: _look, buddy, things aren't working. I like Iron Man and I don't like you._ There, that's it."

"You're really full of yourself, you know that don't you?"

"Pepper has made a point to remind me of that at least twice a day every day for the last ten years."

* * *

I awoke in mid-afternoon, surprised to find Tony lounging in the doorway to his bedroom, watching me curiously. I slowly pushed myself up, glancing around and then frowned at him. We'd agreed that he would wake me upon his return so that I could go home, but that clearly wasn't what he planned on doing.

Instead, he leaned against the bedroom doorframe, his suit jacket tucked beneath his arm and his tie loosened from its previous position around his throat, the first button of the lavender shirt I'd worn undone. I smirked to myself at the sight of the lavender shirt, unable to help feeling slightly smug at the sight of it. I'd dug up one of his T-shirts and returned the lavender dress shirt to him shortly before his meeting, changing, and then retired to the bedroom to sleep off my hangover.

I decided to break the silence that hung between the two of us, still unsure if staring at one another counted as conversing, "Watching me sleep is pretty creepy, you know."

"Well, you're sleeping in my bed and I'd like to nap."

"Then nap, put a pillow between us if you're scared I'll give you cooties."

He rolled his eyes, coming forward and took the pillow that I had picked up and extended to him as he crawled into bed beside me. He laid down, resting his head on the pillow and stared at me curiously, "How about you spend the weekend with me?"

I raised my eyebrows, surprised by the suggestion. "I...I have things I need to do."

"Do them later. I'll cancel my plans, you can cancel yours. We'll just sleep and eat breakfast all day."

"And my boyfriend?" I frowned at him.

Tony shrugged, "Has he called?" I shook my head. "Who cares then. Stay here and relax a while, you seem ‑" he paused, yawning, "‑ stressed out."

I smiled slightly, laying back down in bed beside him, "How was your meeting?" I asked him, deciding that I would stay a while longer. I hadn't slept properly in days with Loki parading random women in and out at odd hours of the night with no concern for whether I was sleeping or not and if I would mind being woken by them. Sleeping in Tony's bed had offered me a strange respite and so I had stayed, napping during his meeting, bathed in warm blankets and downy comforters, my head resting comfortably on a pillow rather than a sofa cushion.

"Boring, we talked about finances and stock and how I should be running the company this way and that way but I'm not because I don't care what they think."

I grinned wryly, then asked curiously, "Was Pepper there today?"

He shook his head, closing his eyes, "No, Pepper doesn't attend board meetings unless I ask her to. I didn't ask today. She's in the US anyway, getting what she wants from my houses there and moving things out."

I nodded slowly, hunkering down and noted that he hadn't bothered to undress from his work clothes, "Not getting undressed are you?" I asked him curiously.

"My shirt still smells like you," he replied, nuzzling against the pillow, "not that bad."

"Well, thank heavens that good hygiene paid off," I muttered, rolling onto my side to face him. "Wouldn't want to smell that bad."

He grinned, opening one eye to look at me then closed it again, shifting around in bed for a moment before he sat up, untying his shoes which he then kicked off and left in a pile on the floor. He looked down at me for a moment, before smirking, and laid back down.

"Has your friend sent you any messages?" he asked me, stifling another yawn. "The one from last night?"

"Jenny?" I asked, and when he nodded, I continued, "Yeah, she sent me a text a little while ago. She wants me to take pictures of your place and send them to her…."

"I'm sure you told her no."

"I did," I nodded, "she's been sending me one message an hour asking if I've changed my mind yet." As if on cue, my phone buzzed behind me and Tony held his hand out, "Tony, what...?"

"Let me send her a message."

"Why?"

"Because I'd like to," he said simply.

"All right, keep it clean. Don't send her any nudes or whatever else you think is clever," I said, passing him my phone. I watched as he unlocked it, reading the message, and then began to type a reply, a mischievous smile on his face.

He was silent for a few minutes, composing his text to Jenny and then proofing the message thoroughly. Finally, he tapped the send button and passed the phone back to me. I took it warily, feeling as though I were handling a bomb that could go off at any moment. I nearly jumped when the phone buzzed again and I found Jenny's reply.

OK. Sorry. Take good care of her. ;)

What on earth had Tony sent her?

I let out a small frustrated growl, heading into the chat I'd had going with Jenny and then began to laugh, reading Tony's message:

Hi. This is Tony Stark. Raleigh can't come to the phone right now because she's sleeping in my bed. With me. And therefore indisposed. If there's anything I can do for you let me know, but not until after 6pm this evening. I have a thing, I don't do favors before 6pm unless it's in an Iron Man suit. If you're okay otherwise, then could you refrain from texting? Raleigh kept me up for half the night, not that I minded, and I'm a light sleeper, so the vibrating bothers me a little bit.

I looked up at him. "Indisposed in your bed, _really_?"

"I thought it was rather clever."

"I told you not to send her anything that you think is clever, you know she's going to hound me about this," I replied, growing flustered now. I could feel my cheeks burn red and Tony sniggered beside me.

"Do I?"

I tossed my phone down on the bedside table and then returned to him glaring, "You're such a child."

"How so?"

"You basically just implied to her that I kept you up having sex ‑"

"I most certainly did not!" Tony replied, putting on his most aghast look for show. He pulled the pillow around, back up to the head board of the bed and patted the space beside himself expectantly I wrinkled my nose at him, uninterested. When I moved to turn away, he laughed, one of his arms hooking around my waist. He pulled me in, laughing as I wriggled about, "Oh, stop it, you know it's funny."

"Tony, c'mon."

"You don't want to be indisposed?"

"You're not nearly as funny as you like to think," I replied, turning just enough to look at him. "Must you?"

"Yes, I am, and yes I must."

"Go to sleep, Tony."

"I will if you stop squirming," he said, tightening his hold on me. I chuckled, stilling, and he fell silent for a few moments, then, "You'll stay, won't you?"

I nodded, "I was planning on it," I admitted to him and I smiled to myself as he let out a quiet sigh of appreciation, spooning me in silence. "You miss her, huh?"

Tony was quiet for some time, then he finally shrugged, "Sometimes you need to step back and take a break," he said simply. "We had to. I couldn't help that."

"You love her though."

He nodded, "You love your boyfriend, too, the difference is that you won't leave him."

I resisted a snort, "Love isn't the word I'd use exactly."

"Well, whatever," Tony sighed, then turned his attention to Jarvis, "Jarvis, can you wake us around seven? And cut off the cell reception in here, would you?"

"Of course, sir," Jarvis replied.

I chuckled and Tony's lips returned to my ear as they had earlier in the day, "I figure Jenny is waiting for six."

I nodded, saying, "She definitely is."

"Hmph," Tony sounded almost smug and then rested his head on the pillow with my own, yawning a final time, his eyes bleary. "I'm glad you're staying."

I smiled, rolling over and then nuzzled my head against his chest, relaxing. I didn't understand where the dynamic between he and I had shifted, what had changed over the last few weeks, but I did understand that he and I cared about each other and that was probably one of the most important things I could think of. With Loki it was all so stressful and demanding, but with Tony it was like breathing fresh air, it was easy.

I could feel his breathing slow as I laid against him and I peeked up at him, curious to see if he was truly sleeping and I smiled upon finding that he was. I rested my head on his chest once again, sparing a glance at the spot I knew the arc reactor to be.

I would ask to see that later.

He and Loki really weren't so different, I decided as I began to close my eyes, preparing myself for sleep. They were each a different side to a coin, one being the best case scenario while the other was the worst case scenario. I had to laugh at my misfortune to have been stuck between the two, but at least I was here ‑ I was safe for now and I knew Tony and trusted him well enough to be certain that he would not allow for anything to happen to me for as long as I was here. As long as I was with him, I would be fine.

He was a welcome change from a man that regularly threatened my very existence with threats of a painful demise and with that thought in mind, I curled up against him, falling back to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Please R&R, I love it when I get reviews. They make my day a little brighter and make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. :) _

_Oh, and I'm pimping out KMD88 again. Just go check my Favourites tab. You'll see her there (because that's where she belongs! In a favourites tab!). She's lovely and deserving, I assure you!_

**Reviews!**

******Ellize Avalon****:** Good on you, you're quite on mark with everything you've said. Clever girl. Thanks for the review as always. :)  
**Poodle Warriors****:** I love when I hear that I've hooked someone again. Makes me feel so accomplished. That being said, it could definitely go either way at this point. It's all very up in the air with the way things are going, I find. At this point things are happening that rather surprise me even. "Bruised ego" - yep! :) Thanks again!  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Stupid Loki indeed.  
**Mydarkestway****:** I'm very fond of the Tony/Raleigh dynamic, it's one that was completely unintentional but came out while writing. I think it's because Loki and Tony truly are so similar in their natures that Raleigh has chemistry with both of them. When Loki isn't being a twat, he and Raleigh seem good and idyllic, when he isn't and she's with Tony, they have a good dynamic instead. I like both, but I do favour one above the other obviously. :) Thanks!  
**Kieekaa****:** *thrusts fists in the air and lets out a loud, dramatic shout of anger* I am satan, what can I say?  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Well, if you remember or I puzzle you again, feel free to shoot me a PM. I'll be happy to explain when I have the time to sit and write a proper mail back. :) Loki's side will come in due time. Soon enough, really.  
**Purplenurpl****:** Conflict is my favourite. :D


	17. Off the Record

**Disclaimer****: **_I don't own anything. Just the OFC, OCs, and any and all plot and stuff like that. The rest is licensed to its respective owners._

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Off the Record**

My eyes snapped open to the dark of the flat and I quickly squirmed from the confines of my blanket, darting across the dark room to the bathroom. Flicking on the light, I made it to the toilet and lifted the lid and seat, throwing up.

_Goddamn it._

I had been battling a stomach flu for the last couple of weeks and had been hopeful that I might have rid myself of it completely before going out with Jenny. At least nothing had hit me while I'd slept at Tony's, I reminded myself, I had a little bit of dignity left still. I sighed heavily as I finished retching and then rested my head on the rim of the toilet bowl.

"Well, this is lovely," I muttered to myself. I lifted one hand, flushing the toilet quickly, and then rubbed my face wearily. Even when I had some peace I couldn't have it easy. I hadn't even been back at the flat for two hours when Loki had come in with some random girl named Jess, taking her into his room.

"Are you planning on sleeping there all night?" Loki drawled from somewhere behind me and I turned to look at him, frowning slightly.

"I don't know, are you planning on getting rid of the random chick that's sleeping on my side of the bed anytime soon?"

He sneered in reply, stepping into the bathroom and made for his toothbrush. I watched him in silence from where I sat on the floor, unable to understand him. He'd been tolerable upon my return, asking with some curiosity and interest where I had been and if I had enjoyed myself, but by the time I had finished showering and changing, he had gone from the flat, leaving a short note with an explanation detailing that he was off in search of the Book and would return _with company _later in the evening.

Twat.

"I see you are still ill," he observed, spitting into the sink. He looked down at me, "Don't you think it prudent to see a healer to discuss your condition?"

"You mean to see if I'm contagious?"

He shrugged, "If you would like to think that's my concern, then so be it."

I sighed, standing slowly, and lifted my chin at Loki, saying slowly, "So I'm guessing you didn't find anything about the Book?"

"No," he shook his head, "though you did neglect to accompany me to the British Library this past weekend. I presume you enjoyed yourself while putting us back from our course?"

"Gee, Loki, you'll have to forgive me. Was I supposed to just come in here and sleep at the foot of the bed while you screw some stranger?" I scowled, sarcasm dripping from every word in my retort.

He chuckled quietly, "I hate to jolt you back to reality, Raleigh, but your life is not yours alone to throw away. You and I have an arrangement."

"I voided that and I've kept my end of the bargain, I got a weekend of fun and you got to screw another hussy, I don't see why this is such a problem."

"Tomorrow evening I would like to go to Brixton," he said shortly. "You'll be ready to accompany me there. I have a meeting to attend to there that may result in new information and I needn't waste my time regaling you with it when you're perfectly fit to accompany me."

I pursed my lips, "What time?"

"I'll let you know," he replied stiffly, brushing past me to exit the bathroom. I looked over my shoulder at him, scowling at his bare back as he vanished into the bedroom once again.

Before he closed the door, however, I could hear him say, "Oh, well, those _are _quite lovely... Let's get them off, shall we?"

Complete and utter twat.

* * *

I kept my head down as I followed Loki through the cold, dark streets of Brixton, unwilling to make eye contact and moving along briskly. I'd always been scared of Brixton at night, I couldn't explain it but it had always unsettled me. Part of me always attributed it to my mother having said that I'd be stabbed or raped while wandering there, but whenever I thought that it must be the reason, I found myself growing red with shame.

It was a stupid reason to be scared. Yes, Brixton was dangerous, yes, people called it London's drug capital and Lambeth had some of the highest crime statistics in London, but I could've been hurt or maimed anywhere in London. Acting like I was any safer in Richmond or Kensington than I was in Brixton was outrageous, that was how people wound up getting hurt in supposedly safe areas - they were stupid and assumed that there would be no one there to hurt them.

However, it didn't help matters that tonight I was walking alongside Loki, who was making no bones about the fact that he was annoyed with his contact. I hadn't bothered to ask what had happened to put him on edge, but I had a sneaking suspicion that whatever the stranger was offering him was illegal.

We turned a corner together, Loki glancing down at me as we neared a dark building.

"You'll wait here," he told me, his voice quiet.

I rounded on him, _"What?!"_ I hissed. "Are you trying to get me killed?"

Loki sneered, "You'll be fine here," he told me, glancing along the dark street, "I'll be just a few minutes and then we can carry on."

I paled, following him towards the door of the building. "Loki," I whispered, frantic, "Loki, _please._"

He turned, his brow furrowing for a moment, "Are you truly so scared of being here that you wish to accompany me?" he asked curiously. When I didn't immediately respond, he continued on, his voice cool, "If you didn't want to come, why didn't you simply run back to Stark? You've done very well in making that a habit, I've noticed."

My eyes widened. "That's - Loki, no, I - Brixton -" I stopped, realising that there was no way to convince him otherwise and folded my arms across my chest, turning away from him. I'd stay outside then. If I went in, he'd be petty. "Fine, go on then."

He smiled widely, then leaned in close to me, saying quietly, "You're foolish, Raleigh, but don't begin to think me the same. Even you aren't that pathetically dull."

I bristled at the words and turned to face him just as he pulled away, heading inside of the building.

So he knew then. I'd told him that I had spent the weekend with Jenny, sleeping there rather than at the flat for the same reason I had gone to Tony's in reality: I'd been wasted and exhausted. Yet, somehow, he knew that I was lying and that I was actually at Tony's the whole weekend...

I ground my teeth, folding my arms across my chest and then shrank back into the shadows, unwilling to be seen on my own in the dark of night in Brixton.

We weren't far from the tube station, in fact it was really very close, which pleased me to no end. However, I wasn't about to jump for joy since I was still standing alone and liable to be harassed at the drop of a hat if anyone saw me and believed me fit for harassment.

The door opened behind me suddenly and I jumped, surprised, then looked over my shoulder to see Loki emerge, the look on his face a mixture of disgust and anger.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as he brushed past me, pocketing a small package in his coat pocket.

He looked up at me, fixing the scarf that he had wound around his neck and scowled. "Nothing of your concern, come now. We've things to do."

"Loki -" I sighed exasperatedly and hurried after him, falling into stride beside him after a few moments. "What did you get?"

"Do you have one of those things still?" he asked me, looking down at me.

"What things?"

"These," he pulled the package from his pocket and passed it to me. I took it nervously, noting that it was nothing but a small, lightweight book bound in paper. Brow furrowed I undid the paper just enough to catch the glint of gold on the red cover.

_EUROPEAN UNION_

_UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND_

I swore under my breath and rounded on him, "This is illegal!"

"Give it to me," Loki muttered, snatching it back from my hands with ease, he pocketed the passport in his coat pocket once again and then looked at me as we came to a halt beneath one of the streetlights. "Do you have one?"

"Of course I have one," I snapped, "but you can't use that, that's illegal and you'll be caught!"

"Raleigh," Loki stressed my name as he spoke, his brow coming together as he did so, "I've little patience for your unrelenting demand that I do what you deem to be appropriate. Your methods have brought us no closer to acquiring the Book. It is better for us both to take our chances and to do this than it is for us to continue to hunt for a centuries old manuscript in one of your ruddy libraries!"

I flushed at his words, "You're trying to cross state borders, Loki. Forging a passport? Boarding a plane? Stealing? That's illegal and if you're caught then we'll both be captured and S.H.I.E.L.D. will -"

"Will what?" Loki spat at me, stepping closer. "Will they imprison me and question you? Will they torture me or try to send me back to my home in Asgard? Will they ruin your pathetic little life and cause you undue stress as I have?"

I fell quiet, then said slowly, "What you're doing puts everything in jeopardy. I could go. I could go and find it and ‑"

"NO!" Loki's voice rose now and I took a step back, surprised by the outburst. "Do you truly think yourself so valuable to this cause?" he hissed at me. "Do you think I would entrust retrieving and transporting such a valuable item to you? You've made no moves to show me that you are worthy of my trust in acquiring this. You will be accompanied by me. That is how we will handle this situation."

I glowered at him, "I've given you all of the information I've gotten from Tony and -"

"And the fact remains that if we continue to act within the legal means of your world we will be stuck with one another for a far longer amount of time than either of us had originally planned for. At least in this case we will be able to rid ourselves of the other in a timely manner."

He turned away from me, beginning to head down the street while I remained behind him, shocked.

"You want to get rid of me?" I asked timidly, surprised by how the words stung me.

He let out an angry hiss, wheeling around and then made for me, "Why should I not wish to rid myself of you?" he demanded. "What do you have to offer me? Nothing but senseless piles of drivel that I might be able to extract from Stark myself were I fucking him just the same as you are -"

"I'm not sleeping with him!" I yelped.

"Shut up," he snapped at me, dismissing the comment, "Do you truly believe that I might wish to keep you around? You are a Midgardian. You are no more worthy of me than any number of other humans. You are weak, cowardly, and fragile. Your emotions rule you and your constant insistence of doing what is _right _and _fair_ is enough to turn my stomach over and make me nauseous. You are just as disgusting as any other mortal. There is a reason I saw fit to use you and not a stronger Midgardian."

I gaped at him, "I'm...I'm not weak."

His laugh was mirthless, "It's time to stop fooling yourself, Raleigh. I chose you because I knew you would break if I saw it fit and you have. You think yourself so very mysterious, you pride yourself on the enigmatic nature that you hold so dear," he continued. "But your facade belies just what you are, does it not?" Loki's lips curled at the corners and I searched his face, unable to think of what to say.

"The outwardly cool, composed exterior of a woman that's willing to take on the world?" he arched an eyebrow, laughing as I held his gaze, trying very hard not to flush at what he said, "But it betrays that you are little more than a timid, insecure child with no clue as to what she wants. A cowardly child who will back down and tire in moments of need, who will fail those who need her, hurt those who desire her, and yet ultimately you betray it all in giving up for the simplest reasons. You are weak-willed, you think I chose you for a reason more than that?" He laughed again, fully this time, and I could feel my face flush, growing hot with embarrassment.

He leaned in his eyes locked on my own, "I've seen just who you are," he breathed. "I've seen your heart. I've seen you when you look at me with them, when you watch, and I know you better than you know shall ever know yourself."

I couldn't think. I was equal parts furious, embarrassed, and yet here he was, inches away from me, and I was at a loss for words.

Damn it.

Think.

"You're wrong," the words sounded so weak, my voice shook as I said them, and he pulled back.

"You mustn't delude yourself any further than you already have," he told me, "you were made just the same as all humans - weak, to be ruled. You are just as usable and dispensable as the rest of your species."

He began to walk away again and I followed, my stomach growing hot with rage. "And do you think you're fit?" I demanded. "Isn't that why Odin put you in time out to begin with?" I asked angrily.

He turned, giving me a warning look, and then looked away from me, continuing back towards the tube station. Without batting an eye, I followed, cutting in front of him and blocking his way.

A sneer crossed his features.

"Is this anger?" he asked me, making a face, "Or is this your attempt at resolve?" Before I could respond, he leaned in, continuing, "Because you do not make a fierce opponent and you should not attempt to intimidate me."

"You didn't answer me."

"As to if I am fit to rule you? The pathetic beings that you are?"

I nodded, ignoring the jab, "It's why Odin put you here, because you're wrong and you know it."

"A superior being such as myself will always be fit to oversee the weak and filthy," he replied, still ignoring my mention of Odin.

"So what happened to mortals being so great? You've definitely been enjoying yourself with them lately it seems."

"You think I enjoy sleeping with such hedonistic creatures?" I set my jaw as he took a step forward and I gradually realized just how close I was to him, how strange it felt to be nearly pressed to him after all this time. "It may bring physical pleasure, but there will never be more than that. You are little more than animals. There is no emotional nor intellectual stimulation in your filthy species. You are great because you are hapless and naive, you all believe a few words and well placed compliments and easily fall into bed."

I ground my teeth together, "So because you can game women and get what you want from everyone, you think we're great? Midgardian men do it all the time, that doesn't make you any different."

Loki ignored me, carrying on. "You though," he laughed darkly, tilting his head back before he looked at me, smiling so delightedly. "You were so much work to crack, to break, and now I've put you on the very edge of crumbling. Just like the rest do. You want it, I hurt you and yet you still long for me to give you my undivided attention because you are loathe to the thought of anything less than loving me. How foolish and fatuous of you - to believe that you can love something as monstrous as me, to believe that you might bring change I need, that Odin desires, and that I might someday love you."

"I don't - I'm not -" I broke off, then said in as firm as voice as I could manage, "You didn't break me."

"Didn't I though?" he arched a dark eyebrow at me, saying softly, "I am the lie-smith and you are but a fool to believe anything more of me."

He turned away from me, heading towards the tube station and I followed suit, trailing after him as we turned a corner.

I could hear a wolf-whistle come from across the street and I immediately began to move a little bit faster, memories of the first night I had met Loki rushing back to me. I moved closer to him, walking beside him as we continued through the dark streets and Loki glanced down at me, then over his shoulder at where the sound had come from.

"Loki," I reached out, taking him by the wrist when he stopped. "Loki, come on."

We weren't in the right place for this, we were standing on a small, narrow street in the dead of night. It was just us and the strange men across the road. I tightened my grasp on his wrist.

"Please," I whispered to him.

He ignored me, instead watching as the men began to cross the street, heading towards us.

"Loki,_ please_."

He was silent, allowing them to near us before he spoke, "Could I help you?"

"What d'you reckon you're looking at?" one asked Loki, coming towards him. I grasped Loki's wrist even harder, fear knotting my stomach.

The god spared me a curious glance, then looked back at the strange man. "I was merely curious if I could assist you at all," his voice was calm, not even betraying a hint of malaise.

I swallowed hard, watching as the man smirked, stepping closer.

"Now," Loki shook his head, holding up a hand, "I would suggest you not do anything brash. Neither of us need to lose our heads."

"Reckon you're in the wrong part of town to be trying to talk it out, mate," the man told him.

To my surprise, Loki grinned widely, "I suppose that I am, aren't I?"

Before I could begin to understand what was happening, Loki had shoved me off, sending me sideways and into a glass pane, my head snapping back against the reflective window as I landed on the ground. Covering my head as I curled up on the ground while glass fell and the sound of a scuffle ensued, I peeked out from beneath my arm to see Loki had easily dodged a punch and now held the man in a vice-like grasp, positioned perfectly to snap the mortal man's neck.

The man's friends were frozen in their places, one having drawn a knife while the other was slowly reaching towards his pocket.

Loki tutted them, his voice mocking, "There's no need for knives now," he murmured.

His gaze drifted towards me again where I lay on the ground and then, before I could turn away, he made a rough jerking motion, pulling at the man's hair while he twisted his body in the opposite direction and the man went limp in his arms. I gasped, watching as he released the limp figure from his arms and then clamped my eyes shut.

I didn't want to see it.

The knife hit the ground before the man's body.

Loki smirked, looking to the other two men, "Now then, shall we have a chat?" he asked, stepping over the dead man's body towards them. I remained on the ground, silent, but on the inside I was screaming, horrified, and as I stared at the dead man that was laying less than a yard away from me I was overcome with nothing but terror.

I could hear scuffling, grunting, and the sound of footsteps moving down an alleyway and away before there was pleading and then another body crumpled to the ground. I had no clue where the final man was in all of this, nor did I wish to know. Instead I remained where I was, curled up in the fetal position, clamping my eyes shut as I heard the familiar sound of Loki's footsteps approaching.

"Raleigh," his voice was quiet, "this is exactly why I insist upon telling you that you are not a fit species."

I was silent, unmoving.

"Get up," his voice was quiet but demanding and I found that I obeyed the command easily, crawling up and to my feet, my eyes still closed tightly as I forced myself to breathe. I couldn't breathe too quickly, I'd begin to panic then, I'd begin to understand just what I had witnessed...

"Look at me." I opened my eyes, staring at him as he stood before me, his green eyes boring into my own. "I wish to make this very clear to you now," he said quietly, coming forward, "I have no need to repeat what I have just done to these men with anyone else, but if you give me another reason, then I have no qualms in severing yet another life."

I gaped at him, unable to make a sound.

He'd done this...because of _me?_

"Go," he pointed towards the tube station. "I don't care where you sleep this evening, but I expect you to return by midday tomorrow or I _will _find you. There are no more rules, Raleigh."

I nodded, far too terrified to try arguing with him, to try to think clearly, to understand him, and then turned away, beginning my sprint towards the tube station and the only place I knew I would be able to find reprieve.

I had to get to Tony.

* * *

"Is that blood behind your ear?" Tony reached out but I quickly lifted my own hand, beating him to the small patch of skin that was behind my ear. I brushed my fingertips along the skin, surprised to find that there was blood there and then sheepishly pulled back, staring at the stain on my fingertips.

"Yeah..." I said slowly, "I guess it is."

His brow furrowed, "Is everything all right? What happened?" he asked me, taking my arm. He pulled me around towards his sofa, away from the door, and I shook my head wearily, not interested in explaining any of the details to him. It would take too long, it would be too messy.

Loki had _murdered_ two innocent men right before my very eyes. My stomach clenched at the idea and I closed my eyes tightly, willing the images away.

"I just..." I trailed off and then shrugged finally as we sat together, "I had a fight with my boyfriend, that's all."

Tony's face instantly darkened.

"Did he hit you?" he asked me, his voice low.

I glanced up at him, startled, and shook my head, "No," I said quickly, "he'd never hit me. It was just there was a bit of broken glass and it's really complicated. I just must've cut myself on my way here. It's nothing serious though," I added as I touched at the spot again.

_Of course it's serious, you dolt, _a voice in the back of my head admonished angrily.

"Do you have any cotton balls and Epsom salt?" I asked, forcing myself to change the topic, to think of anything but Loki who was just a tube ride away in Brixton, cleaning up the mess that he had made in murdering those two men.

I felt sick.

He didn't move, "Are you sure he didn't hurt you, Raleigh?"

I faltered, surprised by how serious he was being. "Tony, no. He's never abused me."

"When we met you had bruises on your arms, those were his, weren't they?"

I stared, then shook my head, "That was - that wasn't - he's a lot of things but he's not physically abusive. He's never slapped or punched or cut me or anything, okay?"

Tony's face remained mask-like but he got to his feet, leaving me on the sofa while he moseyed around the penthouse, searching for what I'd requested. He eventually returned to my side carrying a bowl of warm water, some cotton balls, and a box of band aids.

I reached out gratefully for the supplies only to have him shoot me a look and tut, "Don't," he told me. "I'll take care of this tonight, all right?"

I nodded slowly, pulling my hair back instead to bare the cut to him. I sat still as Tony plopped down beside me, his leg resting easily against my own as he leaned over the coffee table and soaked a rag in the water. He turned to me, wringing the excess water from the cloth and then began to gently clean the shallow cut behind my ear.

"Pepper does this all the time," he said quietly, "she's gotten pretty good at it actually."

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrows but continued to look straight on, "Where is Pepper, anyway?"

"She's still in the US," Tony replied, "there was some business she needed to handle at headquarters. She'll be back tomorrow though."

"Stark Enterprises or the Avengers?"

Tony snickered, "Do you really think I'd send Pepper to the Avengers? She still isn't that crazy about Natasha."

"Sorry?"

"Never mind," he brushed the remark off, "you aren't supposed to know about that anyway." He rinsed the rag out and then repeated the process, the warm water gentle on my skin. A few excess droplets slid down over my bare neck, slipping beneath the collar of my shirt and I nervously folded my hands in my lap, feeling Tony's gaze on the side of my face.

"So how long were you two together?" I asked, hoping to keep the topic on he and Pepper for the time being. The longer it stayed there, the better. I wouldn't have to think about Loki then, I wouldn't have to think about anything else but Tony and Pepper.

"About two years, I guess. It's a shame that I'm so good at ruining things."

"That's not entirely true," I muttered, watching as he threw the cloth down in the bowl of water before he picked up the cotton balls, dabbing at my cut. "You're no worse than I am anyway."

"Hmph." He was quiet for a few moments, then, "You know you really shouldn't be with this guy, Raleigh."

I was quiet before I slowly turned my head, shifting my gaze to him and nodded once, "I know," I told him meekly.

He held my stare for what felt like an eternity and for an instant I could have sworn that behind the look was an all too clear message that he _knew_. That he _knew_ I was with Loki, that I was double crossing everyone I was involved in, that he _knew _I had just been in Brixton and had witnessed Loki murder two men.

"Why then?"

"I..." I shook my head now. "It's not simple, Tony."

"Explain it."

"I don't want to," I told him, dropping my gaze, I wrung my hands in my lap, "I don't feel up to it."

He continued to stare at me, his eyes locked on my face as I fidgeted and then, to my surprise, he cupped my face between his hands, lifting my head so that I was forced to stare at him. I froze instantly, shocked by the intimacy of the gesture, how forward it was.

"Raleigh," his voice was quiet, "I'm not an idiot. What do you think you're doing?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I whispered, attempting to pull back but Tony held fast. "Tony, _please!_" I tried desperately.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"_Please._"

"Off the record," he told me, "I'm not going to tell anyone. Just tell me what you think you're doing."

I closed my eyes, shaking my head, "No, no," I mumbled numbly, I was horrified, I was trapped with Tony Stark, who knew I was a liar and a double crosser and stuck here, in this position. I couldn't believe it, he'd never allow me to just tell him off the record.

"Hey," I felt Tony's thumb brush across my cheek, the callouses rough against my skin and I sniffled, surprised to find that I'd begun crying, "Raleigh, I promise."

His forehead pressed to mine now and I rattled in a breath, close to completely losing it; after all of this time, I finally had someone offering to just _listen_.

"You won't tell them?" I whispered at last, referring to the Avengers.

"No," he murmured, then repeated himself, "I promise."

I nodded, sniffling again and lifted my arms, hugging him tightly. I could feel his arms wrap around my back, pulling me tight to his chest and I allowed a sob to break forth from my lips. As I trembled in his grasp, I let one of my hands rise to the base of his neck, just holding onto him as best as I possibly could.

"It's all right, Raleigh," he breathed, shifting around on the sofa to pull me in even closer to himself, his lips tickled at my ear as he pulled back and then nestled himself close to me. He rubbed my back gently as I cried and shook my head, repeating himself again, "It's all right. I'm here and I promise he won't hurt you." I shook nervously, choking on a sob and knotted my fingers in his hair, crying into his shoulder. Tony cleared his throat, "Jarvis, could you get the curtains and the doors?" he asked.

The AI system didn't respond, but I could hear the sound of doors locking and the curtains drawing themselves across the penthouse windows. I remained nestled against Tony, crying into his shoulder when he lifted me up, pulling me into his lap, and I stopped for a moment, surprised by the position I found myself in suddenly.

I pulled back from him, wiping my face on my sleeve and shook my head, "I'm sorry," I mumbled thickly, my voice trembling still, "I - I'm a mess. Sorry."

"_Stop_," Tony's hand rose to the back of my neck now and remained there, his eyes locking on my own as I stared at him, shocked. Here I sat in his lap with his arms firmly wrapped around me, sniffling and crying my eyes out, and yet he didn't care. It was so..._different_.

Without thinking, I leaned forward and kissed him gently.

Tony hesitated, his body stiffening at the affection, but as my lips remained against his own, coaxing him, he gradually began to return it. I kissed him slowly, part of me certain that at any moment Pepper or Loki or the Avengers would come bursting through the doors and that this would end horribly.

But it didn't, instead I found myself opening my mouth to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss and returned the passion. It was probably one of the best kisses I had ever had in my life; far better than any I'd ever had from Loki certainly, for I could practically feel the emotion rolling off of Tony and into myself.

I couldn't quite place it, it all felt so melancholy as tears continued to roll down my face staining my cheeks, only to slip between our lips, the salty taste on my tongue as I held onto him but it was just enough to warm a part of me that hadn't felt decent in so long. I held tight, my grasp on his hair tightening, and he only hugged me closer to himself, one hand cupping the side of my face.

When he finally broke the kiss, he continued to hold me in his arms, his embrace warm, affectionate.

"Do you remember our first lunch?" he asked me as I stared at him, timid, his fingers brushing along my cheek gently. I nodded, unwilling to speak, and he smiled mischievously, "I meant what I said, Loki is an idiot to let you out with the likes of me."

* * *

**A/N:** _Please read and review, it always makes my day. :) I really love to hear your thoughts, both good and bad so please don't be shy. _

_Also, I have exams coming up so no promises about this next week and updating properly, but after that I have Christmas holidays and will be in the States with family so I should have a fair bit of time to write some proper Fanfiction over the holiday season and post accordingly._

**Reviews****:**

**Ellize Avalon****: **Still feeling psychic? Do you still miss Loki? Haha, teasing aside, I can't promise any Loki POV right now. There are Christmas presents coming though that teeter into that realm... Thank you! :) And I promise I'll endeavour to respond to your PM as quickly as possible.  
**mydarkestway****:** She's very nice, you should definitely follow her because of that. And she's also quality. I'm really glad you liked the last chapter and hope that this one lived up to expectations. I've always seen a similarity between the characters of Tony and Loki, so it only felt natural for me when I realised that there was chemistry between both Raleigh and Loki and Tony and Raleigh. Thanks as always. :D  
**Guest****:** Ack, sorry to make you nervous! And, hey, the day has come, but then again it's not yet dawn. Should be quite interesting.  
**kswaf****:** Haha! I hope I made your wish come true. And yes, of course I have something planned... *evil Satan cackle* ...I'm sorry.  
**Marike****:** Oh hey, thank you! I really appreciate that. :) It always makes me feel so flattered to find out stuff like that so thank you very much. I really appreciate that.  
**Poodle warriors****:** Lots of people have been asking about what Loki is up to... Gah. I really want to share it with you guys but all will be revealed soon, I promise! And I really hope that you do enjoy it as it continues to progress. Thank you!  
**Kjaere Rowen****:** (3) Thank you! :) That means quite a lot. I hope you're still enjoying it!  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Well, without giving anything away, the next chapter is going to be quite interesting.  
**NovaBacon****:** Hey, thank you very much!  
**KMD88****:** Your reviews always make me so happy. :) I'm glad you liked it so much. I mean, it's not like you saw snippets of it or anything... haha. I quite like yours, too!  
**Astrokinetic****:** Woohoo! I was hoping I'd turn some people... Mission accomplished! And thank you, I definitely will try to and hope that you like where it goes.  
**Purplenurpl****:** :) Writing fluff was a nice break. I'll endeavour to, but I make no promises with my exam schedule and having to study and then packing on top of that all. I've always thought it would take something _big _for Loki to realise how important Raleigh is and to begin to realise his own feelings for her. I still think that. So, that's possibly, kind of, maybe a hint.  
**Guest****:** THANK YOU! YOUR REVIEW WON ALL THE AWARDS!


	18. Waking Up

_**Disclaimer:**__ I own nothing. Just the OCs, OFC, and plot. :) The rest is Marvel's. _

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Waking Up**

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I lay on the sofa in a tangled mess of blankets and Tony, his body draped around my own protectively, our limbs knotted together. I'd fallen asleep with him on the couch while watching television, having told him everything I could think of.

He knew everything now. He knew about how I'd met and struck a bargain with Loki, how we sought the Book of Ullr, how we'd gone to Wales and been attacked by chitauri and about Thanos and Amora. The entire plan had just been dumped to him while I cried until I coughed. I'd even told him about Brixton and the men that Loki had killed.

Eventually I'd simply laid in his arms, completely spent, letting him hold me wordlessly, and watched as he turned on the large flatscreen television that hung above the mantlepiece and tuned it to classic movies. We'd watched _Gone With the Wind _the previous weekend when we had stayed with each other, leading to a long discussion of what classic films were superior to others.

I shifted around on the sofa slowly, feeling his fingertips as they brushed over my side and I stared at him, eventually leaning in to press my forehead to his own. It was a wordless agreement, a pact that the last night wouldn't be brought up again, that it would remain solely between he and I. The idea of it staying between someone other than Loki and I brought me such immense relief, it put me at ease to realise that there would be someone who did understand what I was going through.

"Stay here," Tony told me quietly and I hesitated, at first unsure of the words before I understood and sighed softly.

"I can't," I whispered to him.

"You can," he replied, just as quiet, "I just think you don't want to."

I smiled ruefully, then stroked his cheek gently, hardly willing to allow myself to dwell on the embraces I'd shared with him the previous night, how he had readily taken my advances, returned my affections and held me tightly, whispering to me as I fell asleep.

"I do," I admitted finally, "but I can't. It's…."

"Complicated," he finished for me. He nodded, then said absently, "I don't understand what you see in him."

"I don't understand."

"You say you hate him," Tony told me, looking down at me, "but you want to protect him from the Avengers, myself included, and you're risking your ass when he's not doing you any major favors."

I shrugged, "I'm not expecting any miracles, I just sort of hope that it ends up going okay," I admitted to him. "Maybe if this works out, me protecting him, it'll put off Amora and Thanos."

He frowned at me disapprovingly.

"I know," I muttered, conceding to his wordless disagreement. "Still nice to pretend."

"He doesn't deserve you," Tony sighed heavily, leaning in a little closer and I pressed my lips to his gently, affectionately, and left a lingering, albeit chaste, kiss against his lips. "Stay here," he urged me once more upon breaking the kiss, "I'll protect you here."

"Tony," I shook my head, "I'll be okay."

"Raleigh ‑" he stopped himself, setting his jaw, and then sighed heavily, dropping his head back on one of the large, plush pillows that rested against the arm of the couch. "I wish you wouldn't be so foolish."

I reddened, "I'm not foolish," I told him lowly, "I'm doing the right thing."

"Raleigh, you can't fix this."

"Stop," I muttered, moving to sit up only for him to stop me, "Tony, c'mon."

"Think about it, all right? What are you going back to? I can keep you safe here, I _will_ keep you safe. Loki isn't going to."

"I don't care," I told him hotly, "I want to go, it's home even if he's there with some random girl or whatever. I just.… Please, Tony, you've got to trust me."

"I do trust you," he replied simply, "I just don't trust him," he shrugged lazily before adding once again, "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I lost you because of him. And even though I know you won't, I wish you'd stay."

"Sir?" Jarvis broke in. "Ms. Potts has arrived and is on her way up to see you."

I closed my eyes and Tony let out an aggravated sigh, rubbing his face as I quickly got to my feet and moved to a chair on the other side of the living room, distancing myself from him. I didn't need Pepper getting the wrong idea about something that I didn't even understand properly myself.

Tony got up, rolling his eyes as he made his way towards the door when a quiet knock sounded around the apartment.

"Good morning, Pepper," he greeted, his voice cool. "How are you?"

She stepped past Tony, her eyes roving over the penthouse before they came to settle on me where I sat. She turned to look at him for a moment, a frown pulling her lips downwards and then said, "I'm fine. I think we need to discuss some things, though."

I watched as Pepper crossed the penthouse, picking up the television remote from the coffee table to flick on the flat screen. Tony folded his arms across his chest, his face grim.

"Pepper…" his voice was cautioning.

She shot him a dirty look, "Would you prefer to discuss this in your study?" she asked him, her voice sharp.

Tony's face twisted and he reached out, taking Pepper by the elbow. Leading her from the living area, Tony began to speak to her in a low, rapid tone and I slowly unwound from my place in the armchair, picking up the television remote.

I rested my head against the back of the chair, turning the news up slightly as I ignored them. They were talking about something important now, neither of them hissed now, but instead they spared the occasional glance in my direction. He wasn't telling Pepper about last night, was he? My stomach dropped at the idea.

I liked Pepper, I didn't want to be seen as a thorn in her side or for her to know about anything that had happened on a whim. It wasn't like I was about to date Tony or something….

I forced myself to pay attention to the morning news once again, concentrating instead upon the reports about the escalating Syrian crisis and an earthquake in South America. These were things that didn't immediately effect me, therefore they were nice distractions…. So I told myself at least.

"The Metropolitan Police and the Home Office are currently searching for a suspected terrorist linked to the attacks on New York City in May of this year…" I froze in my seat, eyes locking on the screen as the woman continued to speak. "...believed to be residing in London, the Home Office is asking that any person with information leading to the capture of this man be reported to the authorities immediately. He is wanted to face questioning regarding last evening's brutal murders in Brixton prior to extradition to the American capital to face punishment for crimes against humanity."

The blood drained from my face as I stared at a photo of Loki on the screen. His hair was longer and his eyes seemed crazed, wild, a brilliant blue colour rather than the green that I'd come to know. He looked absolutely terrifying in the photo that the BBC was showing.

I sat very still, gradually becoming aware of the silence that had fallen between Tony and Pepper and then turned to look at them. I stared at him, speechless, as the realisation dawned upon me: he'd told S.H.I.E.L.D. and they had sent the information through the Home Office and the Met.

"You...you said you weren't going to say anything."

Pepper shot Tony a look and he held up a hand, warding her off as he came around the counter, walking towards me. I leapt to my feet, growing angry as he didn't bother denying it. He basically was admitting it. _He'd told S.H.I.E.L.D._

"You lied," I took a step away from him as he approached and he shook his head at me.

"Raleigh, you need to hear Pepper and I out."

"No," I shook my head at him now, my voice going up an octave. "Did you tell S.H.I.E.L.D. even though you promised me that you'd keep it between you and I?"

He was quiet and he looked over his shoulder at Pepper, who was standing silently, watching the two of us. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his face wearily and turned to face me again, "Yes, I told S.H.I.E.L.D. while you slept. Jarvis sent the recording of our conversation to Fury last night."

I gaped at him, barely able to stomach the idea of the betrayal. He'd lied to my face about keeping it a secret. Had he manipulated me? What if it had all been a ploy?

"What else was a lie?" I asked him, voice shaking.

He sighed, "Look, Raleigh, it doesn't matter. You just really need to stay here until Fury gets here. We can talk to him about everything and clear everything up. You won't be in any trouble then."

I spluttered at him, "You can't keep me here!" I told him angrily. I quickly grabbed my trainers from the floor, pulling them onto my feet and Tony moved forward again, reaching for me.

I jerked away, brandishing my shoe at him. "You lied to me about keeping it all off the record. You said you wouldn't tell."

Tony grimaced, "Technically, it was Jarvis, not me."

I scoffed, "Oh, please! He listens to you, I'm not stupid. Jarvis wouldn't just send the information to S.H.I.E.L.D. on his own!" Tony's grimace only worsened as I continued on, "Did you lie about the rest too?"

"I didn't lie, Raleigh."

"Bullshit," I shot back. "You and Pepper never broke up did you?" I demanded, looking between them. Pepper was silent and Tony spared a glance over his shoulder at her, then returned to me, watching as I nodded, the reality of the situation dawning upon me.

"Raleigh…."

"So you toyed with me?" I croaked. "That's all it was? You just thought it would be a great idea to mess with me to get what you wanted?"

Tony fell silent, staring at me for a few moments, "Raleigh, calm down. We can make breakfast, talk it over, sort everything out. We'll keep you ‑"

"Stop!" I shook my head, rounding on my heel. I made my way to the chair where my coat was still laying and then began to pull it on, my hands trembling violently. I couldn't think of a single time I had ever felt so foolish. I'd walked right into this trap, I'd been so desperate and needy I hadn't even realised that I was giving information to someone that wasn't my friend, who was just playing with me.

I felt humiliated. I'd been played with by Tony Stark, manipulated and fooled like a child. I resisted a snort at the idea, because now it was obvious that I _was _a child. I was a child who was trying to play a grown up game.

"Raleigh," Pepper said quietly, "let's just talk, okay? It would be in your best interest to stay here."

I looked at her, realising that she had now crossed the room and was standing only a few feet away from me, between Tony and I, her face pitying, kind. She should have hated me and yet she pitied me….

"I don't want to talk," I shook my head and then wrapped my scarf around my neck. "I need to leave."

"Where do you plan on going?" Tony asked me, his voice annoyed. "You can't go back to Loki, he'll kill you. He's probably on his way here to do it already, you know."

"_Tony_," Pepper gave him a reproachful look and my eyes narrowed.

"You can't keep me here," I snapped at him, "and I don't want to be here. You lied to me and you manipulated me. You took everything I told you and you just gave it all to S.H.I.E.L.D.! You don't care about me or about anything that I have to say or what I do!"

"That's not true," Tony said, coming forward. He stepped around Pepper, scowling at me. "I do care about you, you're very smart, but ‑"

"But you lied that way I would tell you what you wanted to know," I said, cutting him off. I shoved past him, heading from the living area of penthouse to the door. Tony was close on my heels, his hand grabbing for my elbow. "Let go of me right now!" I told him, whipping around as I neared the door. I jerked my arm backwards, "I'm not going to help you and I'm not going to help S.H.I.E.L.D. either!"

Tony's face clouded over, "You can't be _serious_."

"I am!" I retorted angrily, "You lied to me and you played with my emotions. I-I trusted you! I thought that you were my friend and that you cared about me and what happened to me."

"Raleigh, I do. I just needed you to think that there could be something so that you'd let me in a little faster than you might otherwise. I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to. I didn't have a choice."

"You did too have a choice!" I returned, "Did you ever once want to get involved with me emotionally? Seriously, Tony, tell me! Were you fucking around or not?"

He hesitated, then sighed heavily, "You know I always did mean it when I said that a Trinity girl like you was clever."

"You didn't."

"You were an assignment from S.H.I.E.L.D.," he told me quietly, his eyes locked on my own. "We've never been friends or anything else. It all goes back to Fury. Everything that you'd tell me, your whereabouts, all of it. We'd track you and monitor you. You've always been suspected of being involved with Loki."

"Tony!" Pepper called warningly from behind him.

"It's fine, Pepper!" Tony snapped, before rubbing his face, clearly growing frustrated now. Was this not going as he had hoped? Had he thought I would simply join up with S.H.I.E.L.D. and fight the good fight? That his betrayal wouldn't mean anything? "It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I needed to get the information from you. We knew he was here, but we didn't know where he was or anything else. When they found you ‑ and I don't know how they did ‑ they figured out that you might be able to tell us something."

"So that's where you came in," I said, my voice quivering. "They sent you here because you're the genius, billionaire playboy, yeah? And I'm the naive, dumb university student?"

"They needed to get to you somehow, I was available and going to be here for a few months anyway. Besides, me flirting with you is a lot nicer than Natasha going medieval on you. I think anyone would agree with me."

I scoffed, shaking my head and then took another step away from him, pressing the button to the elevator. "I don't agree with you," I told him, "you're wrong. You tricked me, you manipulated me, and you let me make such a fool out of myself. I don't want to stay here and I don't want to help S.H.I.E.L.D." I watched as the elevator opened and Tony's eyes darted to the inside and then to me, his lips fixed in a deep frown. I stepped towards the elevator doors, saying quietly, "I'm leaving; please don't stop me."

"They're going to find him, Raleigh. It's better that you just stay here with us. It'll be worse if you go back to Loki and try to get out with him. S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't known for being exceptionally kind," Tony said as I boarded the elevator, "if you stay here and help us, you can get cleared of everything. If you go back there, it could be a whole lot worse for everyone involved."

"Yeah?" I laughed bitterly, then shook my head at him. "And how do I know that you're not lying to me again?"

Before Tony could respond, the elevator doors slid shut, blocking me from his view. As the car began its steady descent back to the bottom floor of the tower, I clamped my eyes shut, screwing my face up as I willed myself not to cry. I had just broken off everything. I had just ruined everything. I was so incredibly stupid.

I had the chance to be safe, to be protected by S.H.I.E.L.D., and here I was, running away from it. Loki would probably have my head for telling Tony about things and I was liable to end up with more blood on my hands if I wasn't murdered for this myself. Yet, for whatever reason I was running away from any hope I had.

I shuddered in a deep breath and then began to pull off my coat, tearing at the buttons wildly, grabbing for my wallet which I threw down on the floor of the car beside the coat. He'd said that they tracked my movements…. I didn't know how they'd done it, but if they were still doing it then they would track me all the way back to the flat unless they already knew where it was.

I ran my hands through my hair nervously, feeling for anything that was foreign, anything like a chip or a tracking device, and when I found nothing besides messy bed knots, I dropped my head back on the wall of the elevator, quickly running my hands over my body to make sure I hadn't been bugged while I slept beside Tony.

The elevator came to an abrupt halt, the doors opening and I quickly made my way out from the small car, heading across the lobby as I left my coat and wallet behind. I didn't care if I had to walk the whole way to the flat in the bitter cold of February or not, I needed to leave Stark Towers before S.H.I.E.L.D. showed up.

I slipped through the revolving glass door, beginning to sprint down the sidewalk and away from the tall, glass building as several black SUVs rolled up the street, their windows tinted with men in suits behind the wheel. I turned the corner, ducking down one of the side streets and continued on my way, beginning to pick up speed when I thought I heard noise behind me and then continued on, racing my way through London.

I was being stupid, foolish, pigheaded ‑ a million different things ‑ but I was caught between a rock and a hard place. There was one certainty I had, which was that Loki had always protected me. Tony had manipulated me and while Loki had terrified me and threatened me, he at least was honest and nevertheless, he had also kept me safe from harm.

I didn't know what I would do from this point on, I didn't have any idea as to how I would be able to go back to university or anything else for that matter. Perhaps I would have to go off the grid, live quietly and away from everyone I knew and loved, but I would find the ruddy Book, I'd find it if only to spite Tony Stark for all of his grandiose assumptions and his conniving. I was beginning to understand just why Loki hated him after all.

* * *

"Loki!" I called as I pushed my way through the door of the flat. I hurried down the hall, tossing my key down as I slammed the door shut. "Loki, where are you?" I called out, heading towards the living area.

S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn't been here, the flat wasn't an absolute disaster, and I could hear the sound of the television in the distance.

"Loki?" I tried again as I stepped from the hall into the living area. I stopped, letting out a soft sigh as I found him sitting beside Jessica on the sofa. She was curled up against him, watching the BBC broadcast earnestly, while his face was unreadable.

"You know," she said, running her hand through his hair, "if you grew your hair out a little bit more, you'd look just like him!"

Loki was silent, though I could see a slight tic in his jaw as he listened to her.

"I mean, except for the eyes, of course. Yours are much nicer. They're so green."

"Hey," I interrupted, crossing the living area to stand in front of them. Loki's eyes slowly shifted to me, fixing on me as I stood before them, while Jessica let out a scoff, clearly uninterested. I pointed to the door, "You," I told her, "I think your name is Jess, but I don't know. Whatever your name is, you need to get out."

She sneered at me, "I don't need to do anything. I'll stay right here with you, isn't that right, poppet?" she asked Loki, leaning over to leave a kiss on his cheek.

My patience broke then, "Get the fuck out right now!" I told her, my voice rising.

She gaped at me, "_Excuse_ me?"

"Get your shit and go!" I said angrily, "_Leave!_ This isn't fucking rocket science! I'm telling you that you're not welcome and that you're going to leave. Now get the hell out of here!"

I pointed towards the door for emphasis and watched as she looked between Loki and I, clearly anticipating an argument, hoping he might defend her from me. But instead he was silent, watching as I stood seething, glaring at the strange girl.

"Get out," I repeated myself through clenched teeth, "or I will make you."

I could have sworn there was just the slightest twitch of a smile on Loki's lips as I made the threat but I didn't bother to pay any attention, instead I watched as Jessica got to her feet, looking down at him expectantly.

"Aren't you going to tell her to bugger off?" she asked him.

"No," Loki's voice was flat before he added simply, "and do refrain from returning. You snore rather horribly, much like one of those moose you love so much."

She let out a quiet shriek, slapping him across the face before she seized her bag from the corner of the sofa and then made her way out of the living room, slamming down the hallway and out the door as she ranted angrily over her shoulder about how he had never been good enough for her in bed.

When we were certain that she had left, Loki rose from his place on the sofa, crossing first to the window. He pulled the blinds closed before dragging the curtains closed and faced me, unmoving.

"What were you thinking?" he asked me, his voice strangely quiet.

I hadn't expected him to be quiet, I had expected him to rant and rave at me, threatening my life. But if he was going to be calm, then that was a huge weight off my shoulders.

I shook my head, "I'm sorry, I just got caught up in everything and was upset. I thought that I could trust him."

He snorted, "You thought you could _trust_ Tony Stark? Pray, what gave you such an idea? I've never thought you particularly bright, Raleigh, but even you are above such mind numbingly stupid behaviour. What possessed you to think it might be prudent to confide all of your secrets to a man with a mouth bigger than a vortex? Yet alone one that is in the pocket of an organisation that wants to see me ‑ and now you ‑ severely punished?"

"I didn't think he was going to say anything. He promised ‑"

Loki laughed, the noise much more like a bark than anything else. He crossed the room, staring down his nose at me, "He _promised _you that he wouldn't tell Fury?"

I flushed, ducking my head in shame.

"Oh, of course," he sighed heavily, clearly annoyed, "because obviously everyone must adhere to your crude sense of honour and duty. Did he also promise that his wretched little robot wouldn't tell Fury or transfer information to S.H.I.E.L.D. on his behalf?"

I hung my head lower. He wasn't yelling, but this was proving to be a far more humbling experience. I wished he would start yelling and threatening me once more, I was at least used to that sort of behaviour.

"Of course he didn't," Loki admonished, "because Stark had no plan in mind but to use you as a pawn, just as I warned you he would from the very beginning. He had absolutely no intention of keeping his word or telling you the truth until he thought it prudent. Yet you had the audacity to insist that he was such a great man, did you not?"

"Loki," I began slowly. "Look, I know that things are bad but ‑"

"‑ but NOTHING!" he roared, cutting me off. I closed my eyes at the sound, bowing my head meekly. I'd been wondering when he would shout. "Do you understand this?" he demanded, gesturing to the television where they were playing the broadcast yet again. "They are playing this on every single news station across this island and likely beyond this island as well. Wherever Fury and his men can reach, they will broadcast this warning, they will tell the world all that I have told you and as Stark gives Fury even more information and the broadcast grows, don't you think that this will only grow worse?"

I was quiet, then tried again, "Please, I didn't know Tony was going to tell Fury. I really just thought that he'd keep it quiet. He said he doesn't like Fury and he told me that he doesn't agree with the stuff S.H.I.E.L.D. does. I thought I could trust him!"

Loki gestured towards the door much the same way as I had only a short time before, "Get out," he told me, his voice quiet once more. "I no longer require your services. I will handle my personal affairs alone." He turned away from me, making his way towards the bedroom.

"Loki, no," I shook my head, following him closely, "please, just let me stay here with you. I can help!"

_"Enough!"_ he hissed angrily, rounding on me. He looked as though he were forcing himself to remain composed.

"But ‑"

"THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU AND I BECAUSE OF YOUR NAIVETY!" he bellowed, "YOU ARE NO HELP TO ME!"

I flinched away from him, but held my ground, "Please! I don't have anything to lose at this point! I left Stark, I left his tower and I left all of my things there! They can't find me if I'm with you! I have nowhere else to go ‑ please, Loki. Just let me help you with this. I swear to you, I'll be loyal. I wouldn't try to ruin this."

"Do not lie to me," he growled at me.

"I'm not," I whispered to him as he came closer, standing over me. "Anything you want, okay? I just ‑ I just want to be sure that I'm safe. I don't trust S.H.I.E.L.D. but I trust you. You haven't lied to me, you've been completely honest since the first time we met. _Please _let me help you find the Book. I don't have anywhere else I can go. I can't go home, I can't stay here, I don't even think I can go back to uni. I need somewhere to go and I can go with you."

He stared at me, frowning for a few moments, then stepped in very close to me, "Do not speak to Tony Stark again," he told me quietly. "Should I discover that you are siphoning information to him, I will see to it that you die in agonising pain."

"Anything else?" I asked him timidly.

"Where is your coat?" he asked me, frowning slightly.

"I left it at Stark Towers. Tony said they'd monitored my movements. I got worried and took it off."

He nodded slowly, turning away from me and then gestured for me to follow him. I did so, following behind him obediently as my heart hammered in my chest. He pointed towards the corner of the bed and I sat down, watching as he began to pull clothes from the closet, throwing them into a bag. He pulled out one of his coats, a heavy black one and then threw it at me where I sat on the bed.

"Keep yourself warm," he told me, "you're already ill, I needn't have you getting any worse if I'm to take you on as a liability while running."

"We're running?" I asked, watching as he began to throw some of my jumpers into the duffel bag with his own things. "Where?"

He picked up an envelope from the top of his dresser, passing it to me as he stalked past, into the bathroom. I flicked over the envelope as he rustled around the medicine cabinet, pulling it open to find two tickets from St. Pancras to Paris and beneath those, two more to a gala and a hotel manifest.

"Loki," I said slowly, "S.H.I.E.L.D. will flag my passport, I won't be able to leave the country…."

I looked up at him as he came to stop beside me, tugging the envelope away from me and he smirked down at me, showing me a pair of scissors, "And that is why we'll be making quick work of this. Sit still then, I do think I will enjoy this."

* * *

_A/N: Please read and review! It always cheers me to read what you're thinking!_

**Ellize Avalon: **Reckon he's not going to know about that kiss for a little while. There are a few more sinister things afoot presently. As for his suffering...it's coming.  
**Dontgotaclue88: **Oooh, uh, haha. The pregnancy question came up a lot so I'm going to use you as a reference answer, okay? Sorry :$ Anyway, on the subject of pregnancy: I'm very staunchly opposed to writing a pregnancy involving the character of Loki. If I were to do it, it'd be as a tool and I would put a very swift end to it in a very harsh fashion. I don't think it's possible really to consider having a mortal carrying around Loki's child. He's a frost _giant _and though he was the runt, his offspring may or may not be. It's a genetic lottery. Given the fact that there's Loki's genetics and then stuff like the action that's steadily building throughout this story, I think it would be safe to say that I'm not going to have any pregnancy in this. Got lots of these guesses though so make of my explanation what you will.  
**KMD88:** I think that's a word in Welsh :p Are you still on the edge of your seat?  
**Poodle Warriors:** You never know, change may be coming... I definitely don't think anyone was anticipating Tony's motivations being on SHIELD's behalf. As for the pregnancy thing (your theories made me giggle, btw) see above :) And thank you!  
**Fat Old Sun:** Nope! Always have it in there for a reason. Reckon you might've, possibly, seen this one coming.  
**Am4444: **Hey, thank you! I really appreciate that! I'm really glad you like my style, it means a lot to me. And I think it's a safe bet that something will happen that will eventually start to make Loki see Raleigh differently. As for the preggers bit, see above ^^ :) Thanks again! xx  
**amakitkat: **Lots of people angry with Loki! Jeez! I don't think Loki will ever undergo a complete transformation even if he were to fall in love. It's something that would take years upon years of work rather than just 12-18 months with a human girl. But that being said, I think there's room for some change in his heart. And the pregnancy answer is up there ^^  
**kswaf:** You know me too well... Gosh darn it. Just going to keep tugging at your heart strings with my fan fiction when I'm not studying. Thank you though and the same to you, too as I'm sure you're also in the throes!  
**Guest:** hehe, never heard that phrase before! Quite the turn. That being said, my view on the subject is up there ^^  
**purplenurpl: **And how quickly it all falls apart... Thank you though! Hope you're still enjoying it :) As for Pepper, well, don't think that you've seen the last of her or heard the last of her with this chapter. She'll be back later.

_And again, THANK YOU! If I didn't put it in my review response, I really do appreciate it. :) _


	19. Sentiment

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing. Just the usual and obvious stuff. The rest is licensed to Marvel._

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Sentiment**

I ran my hand through my hair nervously, the ginger tresses soft between my fingers as I did so. I sighed heavily, jostling my leg and cast a glance at Loki who was sleeping beside me on the train. We'd been travelling through the darkness for some time, transferring to a train that was quickly whisking us away from Rouen in Normandy. The goal had simply been to protect ourselves by going somewhere small and regrouping before making our way into Paris quietly. We'd spent the weekend in Rouen, mostly in Giverny at the gardens, plotting together.

He was hoping that S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't catch onto the idea, though he had been quick to pull me through the train station in Paris, practically yanking me through customs when he caught sight of men and women milling about the station wearing suits with guns on their hips. In the end, Luke and Riley Anderson had managed to board a train to Normandy with no trouble. I was still rather grateful even if I felt unbelievably lucky.

I pulled my passport from the pocket of the coat I was still wrapped up in, staring at it. For not having all of his magic back, he'd done a rather good job of disguising us both. I flipped the small book open, noting with a slight distaste the same thing that had delighted the border agent: the name that he'd tacked onto my own to mirror his, _Anderson_. At least it was close to the real thing, I kept reminding myself, and surely no one in S.H.I.E.L.D. would be the wiser to the fake name.

_Newlyweds_, Loki had said with a huge grin, pressing his lips to my temple as he did so. I had played along, acting affectionate with him as we stood together, taking care to keep touching him despite being gripped with fear every time a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent walked a little too close to us. Loki had kept a tight hold on my hand, often pulling me in tighter to whisper instructions about how we were to run and in what directions if the agents were to discover the ruse.

It had been rather well devised, Loki would create havoc with his magic and run in one direction while I went in the other, likely to be pursued by agents that would be easy enough to break away from. We would later meet by the Seine near the Louvre, though if either of us were caught ‑ namely me - things would progress naturally without the other. That was always the plan, it seemed...

I sighed heavily, resting my head on Loki's shoulder as the train slowed. We weren't close to Paris, I knew that much, which left me wondering. Were we calling at another station? I hadn't thought we were supposed to, but perhaps that was the case. I waited patiently for the car to begin picking up speed again, my hand tight on Loki's arm. S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't have found us this easily, I'd thrown everything aside. I wasn't even wearing the same clothes; I'd left my things in London. Loki had made a point of stopping with me in a small shop in Normandy to buy a few new jumpers and pairs of jeans, though he had allowed me to keep his jacket for the time being.

The train began to move once again and I relaxed my grip on Loki's arm, though I didn't lift my head from his shoulder. I closed my eyes instead, listening carefully to the sounds of the other passengers on the train as they snored and rustled around in the dark. There weren't many of us on the train and the few who were there, were silent, sleeping and reading as the train continued to glide away from Rouen.

Loki stirred against me as the compartment door opened and pulled me in against himself almost possessively. Keeping my eyes shut as I rested against his chest, I could see a few flashes, light darting across the compartment as someone requested to see tickets and information. Loki's body stiffened as the man spoke, but he remained still, calm, holding me as he reached inside of my pocket, pulling out my passport.

"Stay," he murmured to me. "Don't make a sound."

"Good evening, sir," the agent had come to a stop beside us and flashed the light in Loki's face, "could I see your papers?"

"Of course," Loki passed the papers to the man, watching as the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent flipped through our passports and ticket information, monitoring it carefully as though he were looking for a mistake. "If I may ask, sir, what's this about? It's not standard protocol to check papers to my understanding."

"It's not," the agent replied, affirming Loki's assumption. "We're just taking some extra precautions because of the terrorist who was sighted in London over the past seventy-two hours."

Loki nodded, "I see, and what if I were to see anything suspicious on this train?" he asked curiously, his voice never betraying the hint of amusement that I was certain lurked beneath it, instead he merely sounded concerned with his safety and as his grasp around my shoulders tightened, I was forced to think the same of myself, too.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the agent flashed the light at Loki again. "Have you seen something?"

"Oh no," Loki shook his head. "I merely wonder who I ought to contact. Might I be able to contact you directly?"

"Yeah," the man said slowly, "I'm a liaison with the DGSE from the United States, contact them and request to speak with Agent Clint Barton, all right?"

"Of course, Agent Barton," Loki nodded, "thank you. I just have read a great deal about him and what he did to New York. I worry that he might try to harm my wife and I."

Barton was silent for a few moments, then, "Don't worry about it, as long as we're looking for him, we'll find him. He can't hide forever."

The agent left then and the compartment again grew dark and quiet, Loki's grasp loosened around my shoulders, though he never fully released me. Instead, he simply brought his lips down close to my ear, saying softly, "Go to sleep now. You needn't stay awake any longer." And without hesitating, I happily obliged, closing my eyes as I laid against him and welcomed sleep's embrace.

* * *

My eyes snapped open to the dark of the Parisian apartment, the sound of sirens wailing down the cobbled street below our window echoing around the room. I lay still, body frozen, and listened as the cars neared, the noise growing louder before they continued on, speeding away, down the street towards whatever crime scene they were heading for.

_They weren't coming for us._

I let out a soft sigh of relief, closing my eyes again, and, as the wails continued to grow fainter, I steadily became aware of Loki's body as it pressed against my own beneath the covers. His head rested near my shoulder and I could feel the tingle of his breath on my shoulder as he exhaled in his sleep. Perhaps most surprising was that one of his arms was draped across my body and one of his hands rested lazily upon my chest.

_Twat_.

I stared down at him for a moment, debating on whether or not I felt it was appropriate to chase him away. This was all right, I decided finally. I could tolerate this if we were both to be asleep. He would act as if this had never happened when he woke I was sure, but it was nice. It was nice to have someone's body pressed so close to mine, to feel another's breath along my skin, the touch of their hand.

Snuggling with Tony had been nice, but it hadn't felt like this. Without thinking, I slid my fingers over his arm, up to his hand and carefully brushed my fingertips over the skin of his long fingers. I didn't want to wake him, not yet anyway. For the time being, it was nice, I had missed this, missed having Loki beside me in bed and holding me close to himself.

I stared across the darkened room, not focusing on anything in particular, and allowed my mind to wander. Had it really been so good for them? Those other girls? If I did it with him a third time, would it be better? Was I doing something wrong? Perhaps that was it, perhaps my lack of experience had made it painful, had made it difficult.

No, what was I thinking? I shook my head and closed my eyes, reminding myself that it was foolish to think this way. That had never been my fault, no one deserved that sort of treatment. I was only in this position because I had no choice in the matter. Fingers wandering over his hand still, I found myself imagining it, what it must've been like for the other girls he had had.

It must've been good to have his body, little else than lean muscle, pressed so close, hot, moving in time and with enough force to be pleasurable. I found myself wondering, jealous, what it would be like for him to fill me in that way, to feel him inside of me when he wanted to pleasure me rather than himself, and I imagined his hands moving along my body, finding the sensitive points with deft accuracy, teasing them with a practised hand.

I reached for my panties, sliding my hand beneath my waistband as my mind continued to wander, touching myself carefully when Loki's hand suddenly moved, taking hold of my wrist in the darkness as his lips pressed close to my ear, "That's very naughty, Raleigh."

I flushed, my face growing hot as he chuckled lowly, the noise rumbling low in his chest and he slid his hand beneath the waist of my panties, taking my hand in his own, "Don't you wish to share?" he asked me, "Don't be so ashamed. You were happy to do it while you thought me asleep. I'd like very much to see what you find pleasurable...why don't you show me?"

"No," I muttered, trying to pull my hand away. He held fast and I could feel his lips curve into a smirk, "Loki, come on!"

"I want to see you fuck yourself," he growled in my ear, "show me just once."

I remained still, embarrassed to have been caught, and he chuckled again, pulling our hands back now, out from beneath the waistband my panties, "I thought not," he muttered. "Do try to maintain some self control, would you?" he asked as he rolled away, "There are things far more important at hand than you being able to pleasure yourself."

* * *

I let out a soft sigh, running a hand through my hair as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I hung my head, staring at the sink as I slowly turned the faucet on, watching the water as it swirled down the drain. The apartment Loki had conned us into was quiet for the most part, though there were some noisy tenants down the hall from Bulgaria who made no bones about fighting with one another loudly in the middle of the night. I was mildly relieved that Loki slept through their arguments even though part of me wished he didn't solely so he would shut them up himself.

My stomach turned over as I cupped my hands beneath the warm water, rinsing my face off and then let out a soft breath, watching as beads of water dropped from my nose into the basin. Despite knowing that we were safe here, with a set of angry Bulgarians down the hall and a wily old French woman behind the desk downstairs, I was still petrified of being caught ‑ we were about to commit a serious crime.

I was about to commit a serious crime. Theft was a felony, crossing a national border with the Book would only make it worse if I was apprehended. I shuddered in another breath, stomach lurching at the thought and held tight to the edges of the sink. We'd spent most of the week scouting the areas surrounding the upcoming ball, learning the entrances and exits, and occasionally walking through the large building as tourists together.

Fontainebleau, the home of the ball, had been one of the few places I'd seen in France as a young child and I had loved it, thinking that it would be fit for a Princess and wondering why there wasn't one in the rooms now. I let out a scoff as the thought crossed my mind, remembering that my father had been happy to encourage me by saying it'd only be fit for one as pretty as me...

If only he could see me now. Standing before a mirror with russet coloured hair that hung above my shoulders, my eyes a light green colour, my skin fair, clammy, as I prepared to return to Fontainebleau to steal a thousand year old text from it's place in the halls. Loki had found my growing horror to be amusing, taunting me for my nerves.

_"Don't you tire of being so worried about every little detail?" _he'd asked me._ "Is such stress healthy? Why do you care if they catch us? It won't be any trouble at all to kill them and that is what we will do if they should apprehend us."_

I shook myself out of the trance, instead patting my face dry on one of the towels and then began to reach for my makeup bag, deciding that prettying myself would be better than dwelling on the shrinking window of freedom I was facing. I let out a soft breath, attempting to slow my breath and watched as my hands trembled while I squirted a bit of foundation onto my hand before I picked up a makeup brush, dabbing it across my skin gently.

Loki was dressing already, eager to leave our hideaway and to carry out our 'mission' as it was called. I resisted snorting at the idea. Such a stupid word to use. Whatever the case, he'd brought back a suit and a dress that now hung from the back of the bathroom door in the morning while I slept.

Rubbing a bit of blush onto my cheeks, I let out a sigh and then rinsed my hands. I was almost positive that we would be caught, that there would be no time to grab the Book from it's place on display. Loki had also decided that he wanted to take one of the ancient spears from its resting place, saying it was Asgardian and held untold power.

He was all but asking to be arrested. The police were crawling around Paris, searching high and low for he and I. I could only imagine how much worse it was in London where they _knew _we had been and possibly still thought we were. And every time I saw the French police, how they were just barely missing he and I, how if our appearances weren't different they would know us, I couldn't help but feel that no matter what tactics were employed we would be caught and detained, jailed...

_I'm going to become a criminal._

I ground my teeth together, setting my jaw, and began to rub eyeshadow on my lids, coating them with the dark shadow before fishing around in my bag for eyeliner. At least Loki had been nicer than usual since leaving London; he'd been almost civil even if his occasional barbs were still just as hurtful and mean when he grew frustrated by my fears or when I was too tired to trek through the Parisian streets at night.

Huffing, I chucked down the eyeshadow and looked to the door as Loki rapped on it sharply.

"It's nearly half till," his voice was tinged with aggravation, impatient, and I nodded before I remembered that we couldn't see each other.

"Right," I called back, "I'll be right there."

I looked at myself in the mirror, pulling a brush through my hair one final time before I looked at the bag that was hanging on the back of the door and headed for it. I hadn't attempted to look at it, fearful of what Loki had picked out. It was probably something dreadfully tacky or shamelessly trashy, he would get nothing but pleasure from putting me in either sort of dress. Classy wasn't something I anticipated.

I dragged the zipper down, pulling the black clothing bag open and stared at the dress in shock, running my fingers over it in surprise. It was a deep green silk and tulle, the shoulders were lightly puffed and sheer lace, and along the body of the gown was fine embroidery; it was actually tasteful and it was rather beautiful.

I pulled it from its bag, carefully undoing the cloth covered buttons at the back and then slipped it on, unable to help the strange feeling that flooded through me as I put the dress on. It was like being spoilt, it felt nice though, and I wasn't about to reject the dress or complain about it.

I opened the door of the bathroom as I finished putting it on, walking out into the bedroom and turned my back towards Loki, "Could you get the back for me?" I asked him, motioning towards the buttons.

He was silent, moving from the bed across the room whereupon he began to latch the buttons securely, his fingers deft on each of the cloth fastenings. When he reached the final button I stepped away, smoothing the dress and then turned to look at him, arching an eyebrow at him as I found that he wore a soft expression, staring at me.

I looked away before he chose to say something snarky, instead moving across the room to find the pair of heels that he had brought back with himself that morning while I'd slept. Pulling on the shoes, I looked back at him, noting that he was still watching me with the same soft expression, his eyes strange.

He looked good, I decided then. He had donned a black three piece suit with a tie that was the same deep green silk as my dress; I straightened, looking him over and grinned slightly. It was still so strange to see him look so…_normal_ with slightly tousled, somewhat curly blonde hair and dark brown eyes, it wasn't anything like him.

"You..." he nodded slowly, almost as if he were approving me, "You look very nice."

"Oh?" I looked down at the dress and then back at him, deciding to test my luck with him, "Just nice?"

"Beautiful."

I stopped, the word catching me off guard, and then said slowly, "Thanks," I nodded, my voice thick, catching on the words, "you're looking pretty debonair yourself," I managed. He did, he looked handsome.

But what on earth was he playing at? He hated me, he enjoyed doing nothing but torturing me with snarky, mean comments and idle threats, reminding me of the absolute power he held over my life. Yet he was saying I looked beautiful. What the hell was he thinking?

"Perhaps this is too bold," he murmured as we walked towards the door of the apartment together and I pulled on my coat, "but I don't suppose that you'll be opposed to me offering to take that dress off later this evening...the buttons would be horribly difficult to tend to alone, I should think."

"That _is_ too bold," I snapped at him over my shoulder as I pulled my coat tighter around myself, heading for the stairs. At least I knew what he was playing at now: he was gunning for every prize available to him tonight and, in this dress, I was the cherry on top.

* * *

Loki's hand rested firmly at the base of my back and in his free hand he held a glass of brandy, which he was taking tentative sips of, his eyes roving over the gala again. I kept still, holding tightly to the stem of my wine glass, and continued to play my part as I'd been instructed.

"You know," he murmured to me, his lips hovering just a few inches from my ear as he spoke, "that dress of yours looks terribly snug...I really don't see why you're opposed to my assisting you later…I'm merely looking to help you, Raleigh."

I set my jaw, instead pressing the heel of my foot down with a sharp force, the stiletto heel pressing into his foot. He yelped and then pulled me in closer to himself until he was flush against my back, his hand gripping my waist possessively.

"You're not taking off _any_ of my clothes," I muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

Loki tutted softly, "Raleigh, must you insist upon this? Really?" When I was silent he rested his chin on my shoulder, remarking, "Did you buy a new bra?"

I turned just enough to shoot him a stern glare and then returned to focusing on the rest of the guests at the museum gala. I was hardly in the mood to discuss how my breasts, especially with him. It would be as bad as asking outright for his sexual advances.

"Mind, I'm not complaining," Loki continued, sipping his brandy, "they look good."

"You opinion on my chest is really just _so_ important to me," I grumbled.

"It ought to be," Loki replied, pulling me around so that I faced him. "I'm really quite adept." To my surprise, he raised one hand, brushing it along my side, eventually before he moved to cover one of my breasts with his hand, obviously curious. I blushed furiously, knocking his hand aside before he could do so.

"Stop it!" I hissed at him.

His face clouded and he took another long drink of the brandy, draining the glass, before he set it down on one of the nearby ledges, "You're always so touchy, Raleigh. You mustn't be so shy."

"I'm not shy, I'm just not going to be groped in the middle of a gala!" I whispered furiously, then added as an afterthought, "Especially by you!"

His eyes narrowed, "But you might allow Stark?"

I faltered, gaping at him, and then shook my head. "Loki, don't start."

"Why?" he asked curiously. "I am merely asking."

"You already should know the answer to that question."

He snorted, glancing around the room once and then said calmly, "If was the nature of your relationship with Stark then you shouldn't be ashamed to admit it. Unless, of course, you were little less than a harlot for him."

I set my jaw, "I never slept with him," I muttered, "he and I were just friends, if you could even say that."

Loki scoffed, "There are many things that Tony Stark is, Raleigh, your friend was not one of them no matter how he'd like to pretend. He certainly didn't want to be anyway." Then, as if sensing my growing aggravation, he said quietly, "Dance with me."

I frowned, "No, thanks."

"Raleigh," his voice turned serious, demanding, "dance with me."

I turned to look at him, then glanced out at the floor again where some couples were swaying in time to the four piece orchestra that had been hired, and shook my head. "I don't think so, you can't dance."

He laughed derisively, "You mustn't make assumptions, Raleigh."

I turned to look up at him and raised an eyebrow, but was unwilling to argue the point, instead I asked, "Can we just do what we came here for? I don't feel well."

Loki's smile vanished and was replaced for a moment by a flicker of concern and then annoyance. "You aren't about to be sick again, are you?" he asked me tartly.

I rolled my eyes, "I've had flu medicine today, I shouldn't be."

"Then dance with me," he said quietly, "and I am not asking now."

I sighed heavily, nodding once as I conceded, "Fine, sure." I let him take my hand in his own, pulling me along and out to the floor. I looked up in surprise as Loki placed a hand on my lower back, pulling me in closer to himself and began to mimic the steps of the other couples with ease.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I asked, though I already had a vague inkling that I knew the answer.

He smirked down at me, "Frigga insisted that Thor and I learn how to conduct ourselves in court," he told me with an eye roll, continuing to lead me through the dance.

Well, _that_ hadn't been the answer I'd anticipated. I'd anticipated one of the mortal girls taking him out and insisting he dance with them...

He continued on in a bored tone, "I spent several years learning the etiquette with my brother in the company of other noble children; Asgardian women are much fairer and far more skilled of course, but I can make do with you." He arched an eyebrow, "That offends you."

"Sorry?" I asked, quickly composing myself. I hadn't meant to falter, to show him that I found the idea of him with an Asgardian woman annoying and his words hurtful.

"Not jealous are you, Raleigh?" his voice sounded almost teasing and I rolled my eyes, making a point to step on his toes. "Ouch," he muttered under his breath before pulling me in even closer to himself, pressing our bodies flush together, "no need to do that now, allow me to lead."

"I'm not jealous," I mumbled, resting my head against his chest in defeat, "I just don't get you. Why do you pretend to like Midgardians when you don't think we're worth anything? You go on dates just to keep getting in their pants and I don't get it. If Asgardians are so much better than why don't you have one back there waiting for you or making house calls?"

He made a noise which sounded annoyed, "That doesn't concern you, Midgardians are easy enough to get along with. You and I have had this conversation."

"Well, it's not like they want to date you."

He made the strange noise again, his grasp tightening on my waist, "You needn't assume, Raleigh, the subject of _dating_ has come up with several of them."

I felt the breath catch in my chest as he turned easily in time with the music, his body rocking my own lazily, "And?" I asked, forcing my voice to remain calm.

"What do you think?" I could hear the amusement in his voice now. He knew he had the power in the exchange again. "You can't possibly think I want anything from them beyond their bodies."

"No," I deflated slightly, but felt an odd relief wash over me at the news. He hadn't changed then, not for any of them. They were just as pointless to him as Iwas.

He was silent then and I didn't push the issue any further, instead I found myself closing my eyes and enjoying the feel of his body against my own like this.

I would've gladly stayed this way with him for good, turning and swaying to the slow, sweet notes of string quartet, his heartbeat echoing in my ears as I breathed in his smell, reminiscing on our time shared, resenting myself for the attachment I felt towards him. Yet I couldn't help it, I couldn't help but think that if things were different - no, that was wrong, if _he _were different, that I might like this. I might like him and wish to share this with him and let him call me his own.

But the simple fact was that he hadn't changed, if anything he'd just gotten worse since realising his sexual power over the women he came across, how easy it was for him to persuade them to come to bed with him. Part of me wondered if this was years of pent up sexual need coming out, if all that time in Asgard and being overshadowed by Thor had kept him from knowing a woman's touch.

His hand slid a little lower, almost possessively, and I sighed heavily, opening my eyes to give him a reproachful look.

Loki grinned at me in reply and before I could respond he'd leaned down as the final, bittersweet notes of the ballad echoed through the air, pressing his lips to my own and kissing me. I froze, shocked, before I gradually returned the affection. It was _good. _Holding him like this, dancing, and now standing in the center of the room, my arms around him, his body flush to mine as he kissed me all felt good.

It was a head rush, bringing back every feeling I'd felt towards him that was good and sweet and eager. I opened my mouth to him and then yanked myself back as I felt his hand grope my arse, giving him a dirty look.

"I told you," I began hotly, pulling back from him, "you're not -"

What he wasn't I never managed to finish for at that moment a blood curdling scream cut me off mid-sentence and I fell silent, looking around quickly to find that one of the women who had cast the two of us a dirty look upon our entering was racing down the flight of stairs, screaming, her gown covered with blood.

Loki tensed, his eyes darting towards the upper level of the room and I followed his gaze as shouts began to echo around the room.

"Raleigh, get back," Loki pushed me behind himself abruptly and I froze, feeling the blood drain from my face as my eyes fell upon the sight that was causing such a fervor among the crowd. A tall, ghastly looking humanoid creature was slowly making its way towards the stairs, snarling and gnashing its teeth as it sought out fresh prey.

"Loki, what the hell is that?" I whispered frantically.

"Chitauri," he said lowly. He scanned the room quickly, taking my wrist in his hand, "I want you to run with me, is that understood?"

I nodded, fear knotting in my stomach at the prospect of possibly being caught by the creature that was making its way down the stairs, nearing us and the mass exodus of people who had begun sprinting for the doors. I could feel Loki's body stiffen suddenly and he looked towards the front doors that the crowd was just now reaching.

"_Damn_," he breathed as the two men in front reached for the latches, only to be thrown backwards as the wood splintered and the doors burst open, more of the chitauri slithering into the room now.

I gaped in horror as the monsters began throwing humans out of the way, blood spattering the walls and windows as bodies landed with gruesome, sickening crunches. Loki pushed me backwards now, away from the crowd as they turned, beginning to race in the opposite direction.

He rounded on me as he managed to push me into a corner, "Run, Raleigh," he ordered.

"Loki," I began, my voice hoarse, I faltered as I caught sight of the first chitauri seizing a security guard that had attempted to taser it, easily crushing the man's spine in its grasp. I looked back at him, clamping my eyes shut, "I can't!" I gasped, "I can't!"

"Raleigh!" Loki seized my shoulders, "Now isn't the time. Listen to me for once in your damned life and run when I tell you to. I will hold them off as best as I can, you must run though."

"But what if they hurt you?" I cried frantically, "What if you don't get out?"

"I will," he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him instead of the unfolding chaos that surrounded us, "Do me this, Raleigh, run as fast as you can and as far as you can away from here. I will find you, I promise you that."

"I won't go," I shook my head, "they nearly killed you!" He made an angry noise, pulling back from me, "Please, I can help you, Loki! And what about the pe -"

"Damn it, Raleigh!" There was a loud crash and Loki seized me, pulling me down to the ground as glass began to rain down upon us, shielding me with his body. He shoved me away when the shower of glass from the now-shattered atrium above had stopped and I stared at him in horror, watching as a chitauri advanced upon him from behind, "_RUN!_"

I didn't bother to think, to protest, something else kicked in and I found myself scrambling up, doing as he said, and kicking my heels off. I darted between the people in the crowd, dodging them, slipping on blood and tripping over lost shoes and bags as I went, my feet stinging angrily, likely cut and filled with glass. I glanced over my shoulder as I made it to the doors of the hall, watching as Loki fought off the chitauri that were surrounding him with ease, the sceptre that had been resting so peacefully upon the display - the one he'd been prattling on about - now clasped tightly in his hands, stained with chitauri blood.

It was enough to render me speechless and for the first time I truly understood that I had found a Prince of Asgard. He fought with the precise, practiced motions of a skilled warrior, aiming and finding the right places, dodging blows and swipes only to counterattack with sharp slices and jabs, his hair falling across his face, mussed, blood splattering across his pale skin as he jammed the scepter into the chest of one chitauri. To my surprise a bright blue light shot from its back, jetting into part of the ceiling which crumbled, pieces of plaster falling to the ground below.

_He'd gotten his magic back._

Loki rounded again, his eyes landing on me for a moment before he easily sliced clear through a chitauri's arm. "_GO_!" he bellowed at me before turning away, continuing to fight the alien creatures.

I turned, beginning to obey when I caught sight of the woman with the blood drenched gown fighting her way through the crowd and wreckage, her face wracked with pain and barely able to walk.

_Sentiment is for the weak_, Loki's voice practically burned in my mind as I stared at her, but I had already made my decision.

I raced forward, shoving between the fleeing guests to reach her, ignoring the jabbing pain in my bare feet, the way the rubble further cut at my skin and reached her finally. "I've got you," I told her as I grabbed for her arm. "Hold on."

She practically crumpled against me, wailing about something, screaming incoherently as I began to help her towards the front doors. I cast a stray glance down at her leg, noting the odd angle of her ankle and then forced myself to carry on, supporting most of her weight.

I staggered suddenly as her full weight fell upon me and nearly tripped when a passing security guard seized her about the waist, lifting her limp body into the air. I watched as he immediately turned, racing out of the building with her in tow, her body limp from having fainted. I rounded, no longer caring for my own safety, but stubbornly searching the area for anyone else who might have been injured and left behind.

Loki had vanished from view, but I could see an elderly man who was slowly crawling across the floor, trying to avoid the chitauri who were destroying everything in sight and devouring the bodies of the humans who were already dead. He'd be the last one I'd help, I promised myself. I couldn't see anyone else in the room besides him and I would never be able to live it down if I allowed him to die.

I sprinted forward, not even bothering to check to see if the coast was clear and had nearly made it to the old man when a sharp pain exploded in my abdomen and I was lifted into the air then flung backwards. I slammed into the ground, my body jarring painfully against the marble tiles before I slid into a pile of rubble and plaster.

I rolled over onto my side, clutching my stomach desperately as pain began to radiate through my middle. I could feel blood seeping through my dress, between my fingers, and dripping down onto the floor, leaving a trail as I dragged myself up into a sitting position. I seized a chunk of plaster in my hand and flung it with all of my might at the chitauri that was still advancing upon the old man, who had gone limp on the floor clearly hoping that playing dead would help his cause.

The plaster struck its mark squarely in the side of the head and the alien hissed angrily, rounding on me.

_Shit._

It gnashed its teeth at me and I quickly searched the piled of rubble for another weapon as it began to advance upon me. I dragged myself backward, scooting along the floor quickly, scanning the immediate area desperately for some kind of defense.

I let out a frustrated cry finding nothing of use in the area and looked up at the chitauri as it neared, baring its teeth at me and shut my eyes tightly, preparing for the worst as I cursed myself for my stupidity. Of course it would be my undoing, I should have listened to Loki, I shouldn't have been so sentimental...

_WHAM._

I opened my eyes as there was a loud thud somewhere before me and found Loki standing on top of the chitauri's headless body, it's heady rolling away. His eyes fell upon me and he pushed his hair back from his face, stepping off of his kill's decapitated corpse, advancing upon me now. He clutched the sceptre in one hand, the Book of Ullr tucked under his arm, and he knelt beside me, pulling my hands back from my middle.

"No, Loki, _stop_ -" I struggled with him weakly and he gave me a stern look.

"Raleigh," his voice was low, a strange tone to it that I'd never heard before. He was so calm and put together still; I wondered if this was what Asgard trained him for - for aliens swarming and attacking everything in sight. He pulled my hands aside, inspecting the wound and grimaced. "Sentiment is sure to be the death of you," he told me, lifting the spear once to shoot a jet of blue light over his shoulder lazily as another chitauri began to creep up behind him. It crumpled to the floor instantly, one of its great legs twitching for a few moments before it stilled.

"Loki, please," I gestured towards the old man who was still in the center of the hall.

"For the love of Nine, Raleigh, not now. You're hurt."

"It's not that bad," I argued desperately.

He made a noise, low in his throat, annoyed, and pressed his hand to my stomach now on top of my own, then glanced over his shoulder at the old man. He waved his free hand once and I watched in surprise as a light green shield covered his body, confining his entire form in what looked almost like a forcefield.

"It _is_ bad," he snarled at me, turning back to face me, "and all you care to think about are stupid mortals. Haven't you any sense in that head of yours or has it all been knocked out?!"

"I _am _stupid mortal!" I snapped angrily, fighting against his hold. "Just in case you've forgotten I'm no different than them!"

"Yes, you are and no, I have not," he hissed, lifting me up and into the air as sirens echoed outside. "I need to get you away from here," he continued, changing the subject quickly, "the Avengers will not care for you nor will they arrive in time to fix the damage that has been done. You've lost far too much blood as it is already."

I let my head fall against his shoulder and pressed my hands to my middle, feeling the blood as it leaked out over my hands so easily, and then became aware of just how faint I was beginning to feel. As Loki carried me out and into the dark, I allowed myself to slip into unconsciousness, welcoming it and the painless embrace it held for me.

* * *

_Please Read and Review! It always makes my day as I always like hearing your opinions and feedback. :)_

**Molescout:**Thank you, I really appreciate that! I'm pretty proud of this to be honest so it means a lot to hear this! :)**  
Purplenurpl: **Sorry! :( With any luck Loki's being less of a dick? Anywho, I'm glad that you love it yet and hope that you're still enjoying it even if it's not Tony/Raleigh, hehe.  
**Poodle Warriors:** I'm a pretty hardcore Tony/Pepper shipper, so I don't think I could ever write another shipping, especially a Tony/OC. Though Raleigh/Tony is a fond idea I had in my head. Just didn't work out in the end, it happens I guess.  
**Amakitkat:** Haha, I thought it was a clever parallel to a few chapters prior to this.  
**MyNameIsPotato:** Thank you! And no, don't worry. He's not about to kill her, not yet. :p  
**DMMD:** Oh hey, thanks! :D I really appreciate that!  
**Kieekaa:** You better believe she was the best hussy ever. And I have more written, don't worry. Jeez. :p  
**Kswaf:** I HOPE YOUR EXAMS WENT/ARE GOING WELL! GOOD LUCK! :D And thank you, that's very flattering :3 I'm surprised a lot of people said they were surprised by Tony double crossing her... Huh. That being said, I like your theories, and I'm truthfully still debating on how the absolute end will be, happy or melancholy. Can't quite decide. I have ideas for both in mind. I guess I'll see how the next so many chapters turn out and decide then.  
**Zozeebobs:** Tony and Loki together will definitely make you laugh. :) And thank you! :D Very glad you're loving it all!


	20. Madness

**Disclaimer:**_I don't own anything of Marvel's, just any and all OCs and, obviously the plot. The rest is licensed to its respective owners and I make no moves to claim otherwise. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Madness**

When I awoke I was tucked comfortably into bed, my head resting on one of the plush pillows, the blankets tucked tightly around my body. I glanced over my shoulder, expecting to find Loki in bed beside me but he wasn't; searching the room now, I found that he was standing before the window of our room.

His face was a gaunt mask, his body still, arms folded across his chest though one hand rested upon his chin while he stared out at the Parisian cityscape. Sunlight leaked through the window and cast shadows across his face. It was early morning then, I realised, which meant that I must have slept through the rest of the night.

"Loki," I began, pushing myself up into a sitting position.

He rounded, his eyes widening in surprise and started for me immediately, his hand pressing against my shoulder as he eased me back down onto the bed. "Don't move," he told me quietly, "you're still hurt."

I nodded, steadily becoming aware of a tight pain that still lingered in my abdomen and I leaned back on the pillows, instead pushing the blankets aside to see what kind of damage was left. He'd mended most of it from what I could tell, but a handful of bruises and healed over cuts lingered just below my navel from where the chitauri had struck me.

"You healed me?" I asked him, looking up curiously.

He nodded silently, his eyes still burning a hole into my own and I felt my brow furrow. He was never like this, why wasn't he insisting that we get moving already? That it was too dangerous to remain here in Paris if the Avengers were here?

"What's wrong?" I asked him slowly.

"Did you know?" he croaked at last.

I shook my head in confusion, "What are you talking about?" I asked him, "The chitauri? How would I know that? That's Thanos and Amora, not me."

"No," he shook his head at me and then repeated himself, putting emphasis on every word, "_Did you know?_"

I stared at him, attempting to understand the vague question to no avail, finally I shook my head slowly, trying to ignore the pain that it caused me. "No," I told him nervously. "I don't even know what you're talking about, Loki."

He stared at me, eyes frenzied, and then turned away, walking to the window once more. He still wore his suit, though it was no longer as neat and put together. He had thrown the jacket aside, the waistcoat was unbuttoned, his tie had left its place around his throat, instead the first few buttons near the collar of his shirt were undone. I could see bloodstains on his clothes and my stomach dropped at the sight ‑ it was _my _blood. My blood was right there, in ghastly, terrible splotches that stained the fabric of his clothes.

He turned, approaching the bed slowly, and then sank down onto the mattress. His expression was unreadable, strange, and I allowed him to reach out, running his fingers along my middle gently, tracing over the claw marks.

"I couldn't fix all of it."

I stared at him, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice quavering, then, "Am I going to die?"

He scoffed, shaking his head at me, "No," he murmured, "you will be fine."

"Then what couldn't you fix?" I asked him, still feeling nervous. Had something else happened? Was it some kind of disfigurement? Was _he _okay?

"You truly mean to tell me that you had no idea?" He sounded pained and as his eyes rose to meet my own I could see a strange emotion swirling in them that I had never seen before. He looked so desperate as he searched my face, but beneath that he looked pained, hurt, possibly even hopeful.

"No," I said again, still feeling incredibly stupid for denying something I didn't even know the beginnings of.

It was like watching his heart being ripped out. His head dropped at my denial, shoulders sagging, and he sat still, his fingers continuing to trace over my middle gently.

What was the hell was happening? What _had _happened?

I reached out, carefully touching his face. I lightly caressed his cheek, feeling the stubble that had formed along his jaw with the rising of the sun, and he pressed against the palm of my hand, his own hand covering my own.

"Loki?" I whispered, watching as he turned his head away, sighing heavily, his face pained. "What's wrong? Please, you're scaring me."

"You..." he hesitated, struggling with himself before he opened his eyes, staring into my own. "You miscarried a child last night. I should think it was mine." He searched my face desperately as I let the words sink in.

No.

No, that was impossible. It was mad. He'd even said it was impossible. It had to be a ruse, a clever little ruse. I couldn't have been pregnant, certainly not from him. I hadn't had my period, sure, but that was stress - it had happened in the past when I took my A-levels, I'd missed a month or so and my cycle had eventually picked up again. It hadn't been something I'd even thought about...

"But you said it was impossible," I argued desperately, watching as he continued the same rhythmic motion that he had been carrying out for our entire conversation, his fingertips stroking my middle gently. He was absolutely stark raving mad if he thought that he'd managed to get me pregnant. He'd said it himself, he'd told me that I couldn't sustain any child that could come between us. This was mad!

"I didn't think it was," his voice was weak, guilty. "I thought - I didn't know that I - that we could..." He trailed off, stopping, as though he didn't know how to continue. On any other occasion I'd have probably taken this as a victory and run with it, crowing about his failed superiority, how he truly wasn't any greater, but instead I sat in silence, staring down at my clawed middle as the reality of it sank in.

Loki was telling the truth. He hadn't gone mad, no, he was _upset._

I'd been pregnant with his child.

I'd lost it.

I'd lost it because I had been stupid and sentimental and foolish.

"How...how long ago was it?" I asked him, my voice shaking now.

"About two and a half months," he replied automatically and when I gave him a curious look, surprised by his knowing the exact time, he added, "I did the math myself when I realised."

I sat up more fully now, no longer concerned with how my body protested the movement or how Loki's face clouded over instantly, wordlessly scolding me for defying his orders. I wrapped my arms around his neck instead, nestling myself close to him, no longer caring that he was perhaps the most inconsiderate, selfish bastard I'd ever had the misfortune of meeting. His arms immediately wrapped around me, returning the embrace, and I could feel a few stray tears begin to leak from the corners of my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he breathed into my hair, "I'm so sorry, Raleigh." His fingers sifted through my hair as he spoke, stroking it, his embrace tightening around me as I pressed my forehead to the crook of his neck, trembling. As much as the idea of having lost a child pained me, even without having known I'd been with one, it was worse to see him like this, to see how utterly wretched he was, how this had broken him so easily. It was all too much.

I shook my head, "It's not your fault," I murmured and I pulled back just enough to stare him directly in the eyes. "I should've kept running, I didn't. If I had then this wouldn't have happened and -"

"Stop," he cut me off, shaking his head.

"But it was my fault," I argued. "I didn't see the signs and I should have, I should have known. I just assumed and I was wrong to. And I should've kept going when you said to. It's my fault, it's not -"

"_Stop it._" His voice was firm, his eyes hard. "It would have happened regardless of what you did. They mean to kill you, Raleigh, they will not stop at anything because you matter to me. Do you understand?"

I nodded slowly, barely willing to believe what he was saying.

"You were fine," he murmured, brushing a stray tear aside with his thumb. "You're a fool, your sentiment could have ended in your death, but you were not at fault for this. It's far better that you lived, no matter the cost for I could never -" he hesitated and then shook his head, obviously changing his mind and deciding against something, saying instead, "I am afraid that it is I who has brought this upon you. All of this is my doing and for that I am sorry."

* * *

"Raleigh?" he poked his head out of the bathroom curiously, wiping his hands on a towel before he threw it down into the sink, leaving it there for the maids that would clean the apartment thoroughly following their departure. He stepped out into the bedroom, listening carefully and then smiled to himself as he found himself alone.

She'd gone then, _good_.

He had been watching her as she moped around the apartment bedroom throughout the morning, throwing her jumpers and things into the rucksack she'd carried with her since leaving London. She'd barely touched the breakfast he had brought back with himself from the cafe down the street, leaving him to assume that she had gone to find something more agreeable to eat on her own.

He sighed heavily, pulling the bathroom's door shut behind himself, then made for the bed, pulling the sheets back. His stomach dropped uncomfortably at the red stains that dirtied the cotton and he found himself remembering how he'd carried her back to their room, attempting to keep her from bleeding out any more than she already had. Passing off her unconsciousness as being from alcohol had been far less simple than he had hoped given the blood that had stained his hands, at least the old woman at the reception had had the sense to leave them be and to refrain from doing anything particularly stupid. His threats might have played a part in her continued silence, but he wasn't about to think much of it. It didn't matter at this point.

He tossed the sheets down onto the floor, giving a flick of his wrist to clean the mattress which he then sank down upon, sitting on the edge of the bed as he stared at their bags across the room in their corner.

They had at least gotten the Book of Ullr without any difficulty. Well, there _had_ been difficulty, but it was different, that was something he had no desire to dwell upon at the present moment. If he were to dwell upon Raleigh and the previous night, it would create conflict in himself and he had no desire to be distracted just then. After he had gotten Raleigh out of Paris in one piece and was able to relax on a train to London he would allow himself to think of what had transpired with a clear head.

The door to the apartment opened and he quickly got to his feet, gathering the sheets under his arm and walked from the bedroom, watching as Raleigh shut the door behind herself, latching it. She glanced up at him, dark circles ringing her eyes, her face strained and yet, to his surprise, she managed a tight lipped smile.

"Did you find something to eat?" he asked her, his voice softer than he had expected it to be.

She nodded, "Yeah," she hesitated, "thanks for the baguette, I just..." she trailed off, falling silent and he nodded, attempting to understand her unspoken words.

"It's no matter, so long as you've found something that you agree with." He shoved the blankets into a bag for rubbish swiftly, then knotted it and looked up at the mortal girl as she watched him, her face emotionless.

This was very different. Usually she had something to say to him, to critique, to ask, yet she was silent. How peculiar... Had it truly had such an adverse effect upon her? Had miscarrying _his _child truly been such a great travesty?

No, no, that didn't matter. As much as he might have liked to pick her brain and see what was causing her such distress, he would wonder about her state of mind later, after he had navigated the perils of the border agents and customs officials. If she was like this already, practically catatonic and silent, then he could only imagine that she would be of no use in devising a clever ruse to exit the country with, leaving that duty to him.

Of course, such a duty rightfully was Loki's but at least Raleigh had sometimes proven useful in thinking quickly on her feet in the past, which he could not account for now. He would have to act on the premise of her being baggage, not an accomplice or an equal.

"Should I get my bag then?" she asked him abruptly, jolting him from his thoughts.

He nodded once, "If you would, we might be able to leave before midday. That is assuming that border restrictions will be no more stringent than they were previously and that I will not have to use my own powers to get us out of the country in peace any more than I already have."

She shrugged at him, "You and I both know that S.H.I.E.L.D. will be crawling all over looking for us..." she paused, looking at the Book of Ullr where it sat upon a table and then nodded towards it, "What do you plan on doing with that thing?" she asked him. "They'll be looking for it and the spear, you know. If they find it in our bags they'll take us away without a second thought."

"A simple spell will allow me to take both in our luggage with no problems. Your technology isn't nearly as advanced as S.H.I.E.L.D. might like to believe, they're still unable to detect traces of magic, they can only see it when it's right beneath their noses."

"Right," she nodded, then turned, making her way towards the bedroom slowly, her shoulders squared, her gait swift, "I'll get our bags then."

He nodded, watching as she disappeared into the room and then banished the bag of bloodied blankets from his sight, turning to gather the tickets to London from the countertop. Pocketing them, he crossed the small living space of the apartment, pushing the bedroom door open to find Raleigh sitting upon the bed's edge, her hands tight on his bag, her face gaunt.

"Raleigh," he sighed softly, moving forward and stopped as she got to her feet, moving towards him immediately. To his surprise she simply wrapped her arms around his middle, hugging him much the same way as she had the previous evening though this time she did not shake or cry.

"I'm scared," she mumbled to him, her voice faint.

"You needn't be," he told her firmly, "I will protect you." He pulled back, gesturing for the door, "Go on then, I'll be right out and we can go then. There's nothing here for us anymore. Just memories that we needn't dwell upon."

* * *

Raleigh slept soundly against his chest on their train ride and he made no move to pry her off as he might have before. Her hair smelled of lavender; he'd never taken the time to notice it before, but now as they sat together, her body resting against his own with his arms tight around her, he found himself noticing this and how beneath that he could smell the faintest traces of vanilla.

She'd grown since their first meeting. Perhaps not in size, but she'd changed. Her smiles were less frequent, her eyes more serious, the quick wit gone from their conversations and in its place a cool, calculating mind. He'd made a partner out of her and subsequently robbed her of any innocence she had left.

He sighed heavily, leaning his head back against the headrest of his seat, closing his eyes. He had taken a stupid, hapless mortal girl and completely ruined her life. He'd forced her into servitude, forced her to leave behind any friends and family she had, to sacrifice her relationships and to risk her own life for his sake. And all the while, he had been difficult with her, unreasonable, cold, unforgiving and unrelenting; he had sought to have power over her and he had gotten it, yet the power he had received had been far less satisfying than he had hoped.

It had never quite been enough, it had never quite been pleasurable or satisfying to watch her resent the other women or to listen to her agree to his demands, however unreasonable. He lifted a hand, gently stroking her hair as he pondered his dilemma.

He couldn't call himself attached, but he couldn't deny that the mortal he held had been loyal. He couldn't deny her bravery even if she was foolhardy and an imbecile when her heart got in the way of things. Her sentiment had nearly led to her death. It had led to her miscarrying.

His heart skipped a beat in his chest at the thought. She'd carried his child within her womb, had very nearly mothered his own offspring. How had he not realised that she could bear his own flesh? How had he not realised that she was with child? He had studied it, hadn't he? It was obvious enough when he saw the disgusting Midgardian couples on the streets, the woman with a bulging stomach and the man with a bag, likely full of nappies.

Yet she'd had no sign, no inkling of her pregnancy beyond her flu. And just as quickly as it had come upon her, it had been robbed from her, robbed from him. They had lost a child. It wasn't simply Raleigh nor was it simply Loki who had lost what could have been a child, it had been them both. He had lost just as much as she had, yet his life was certainly nowhere near as miserable as her own must have been.

He had sworn to himself in selecting a Midgardian that they would be of no consequence, that they would be meaningless to him and easily disposable once he had acquired the Book. The plan had been simple enough, he would kill whatever stupid Midgardian he had seduced into partnering with himself. Yet he couldn't, he couldn't bear the thought of slaughtering the young woman in his arms no matter how he tried.

He owed it to her in some way to be loyal to her, to maintain his bargain and to protect her. He couldn't simply betray her now, not when she had proven herself worthy as an accomplice and, moreover, as a woman. The thought of Raleigh bearing his child wasn't one that he was entirely opposed to, no matter the fact that her blood was filth even compared to his own. The blood in his veins was that of a monster certainly, but it wasn't Midgardian like Raleigh's.

Though he couldn't think that they were all such filth, not when Raleigh stood out from his expectations, when she soared above his beliefs and forced him to admit that his assumptions about her nature were wrong even if such concessions were for he alone to hear. Admitting anything such as that to Raleigh would be foolish on his part, she didn't need to believe for a second that he was beginning to grow sentimental for her.

Sentiment would make him weak, would make him vulnerable, and he loathed the thought. Yet he couldn't help the overwhelming sentiment he felt for her, how it had grown to make him feel for her, how protective he felt of her when they were beyond the shelter of their own rooms; the fact was that he had become weak.

Odin had claimed Midgardians might be able to teach him something, offer him some sort of knowledge beyond which he already knew, but what had he received? He'd found a mortal that he had come to know so intimately that he had impregnated her like a commoner rutting with a peasant girl. Princes didn't impregnate random trollops on Asgard and they surely didn't impregnate common Midgardians.

She'd taught him nothing, she'd just made him weak, had made him sentimental. Was that Odin's plan? What the All Father hoped for perhaps? Did he hope that Loki might find a stupid Midgardian to give him heart? To make him like Thor?

Loki hissed out a breath, shoving the thoughts aside and pulled Raleigh closer to himself instead, continuing to run his fingers through her hair as he opened his eyes and stared down at her.

Whatever the case, if this had been a part of Odin's great, master plan - here Loki resisted a snort - he might still be able to return to Asgard, unchanged, unscathed. Sentiment faded with time, he was not bound to her in any way, after all, she would age and die quickly just as all Midgardians did and he would forget her in no time at all.

Yet the thought of forgetting her upon his return to Asgard brought him little comfort. This girl, a common mortal, would never be the same even if he would be. His presence had caused irreparable damage to her way of living, had forced her to become something more than she had been, then she could have been, and it wasn't for the better. Although he knew he ought to feel proud of himself for having been the bringer of change, a catalyst in her trite life, he felt nothing less than guilt.

* * *

_A/N: Please read and review. Definitely makes my day, I'll beat this horse over and over because it's true. That being said, I know a lot of people have hinted at wanting for a POV from Loki to get inside his head, so you've gotten the first taste of it. There will be more of it from here on out. Randomly will pop up for you. _

_That aside, I know there's going to be some "You said you didn't believe in pregnancy" commentary, so to head that off: I always intended for this. This was planned from the inception of the story all the way up to the miscarriage because really, it's the only way I feasibly can see myself bringing Loki back from the brink and making him understand that Raleigh's not just a tool to abuse however he pleases. As you can see above, I hope. Anyway, no more surprise pregnancies, I assure you, because I promise you that it's not going to fit with the story._

And lastly if I don't update between now and then: Happy Christmas to everyone! I celebrate Christmas personally, so apologies if you don't and with that in mind I hope you've all had good holidays thus far, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, the Solstice, or Festivus (or any other number I've likely forgotten in my quick typing of this). Am incredibly grateful to have you all as readers and wish you all the best in the coming year!

**Reviews:**  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Well, I guess that question is answered now, haha... It would ruin things for me. Make it too sappy and dramatic for my liking and I'm not interested in that with this story. Not even remotely.  
**Am4444****:** Bumbles bounce! Raleigh will be back in working order, don't worry. And yes, they've gotten the Book and now they've got SHIELD hunting them to worry about.  
**Guest****:** Thank you! :D  
**Kerabee****:** He's a very Byronic hero in my mind, I don't think he's ever going to be a hero like Thor. And wow, thank you! I'm a fair bit flattered if this is why you've made an account! Very, really.  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Hm, now what gave you that idea? hah.  
**Poodle Warriors****:** I can see several endings happening, but I wouldn't rule out a happy one. It'll just be one that's difficult to get to, like anything worth having. And you know, I actually never really thought about that - about him just leaving her if he truly hated her or saw no point to having her. I was reading an article on intimate acts between characters yesterday and saw something similar listed ("Saving their life" or something) and it was down under intimacy and I was like "Huh...never thought of it like that." I guess I get so caught up in knowing where it's headed that I sometimes forget how it must seem and stop analysing their actions on my own.  
**NoVacancyMind****:** Thank you very much! :D  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** It would appear that way, huh? Glad you're loving it :)  
**DMMD****:** Thanks! :D  
**KMD88****:** Were you just as satisfied with this one as with the last? And that was one I was very pleased with. I liked writing it quite a bit even if I see things I could have revised and redone.

_Thanks again to everyone who reviewed and to anyone that read/followed/favourited. You're stellar. _


	21. The Remarkable People, Part I

**Disclaimer****: **_I do not own any of the characters licensed to Marvel. I only own the OCs, plot, and that sort of stuff._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: Remarkable People, Part I**

From Paris, we returned to London, taking up residence in a Westminster flat together. It was simple, even if things weren't pleasant, they were simple and that at least made it easy to get by. Loki allowed me to do as I pleased and rarely demanded that I assist him in deciphering parts of the Book of Ullr, which he usually poured over for several hours a day.

Returning to university was out of the question because S.H.I.E.L.D. was monitoring King's heavily, but I had at least seen Jenny on a few occasions and true to form, she had managed to annoy Loki in just a few minutes. Despite the fact that he had been nicer to me and had even been affectionate, he still hadn't taken a shine to Jenny; it didn't help matters that since the miscarriage his moodiness with other mortals was greater than usual.

I hadn't made matters any easier since I strong armed Loki into allowing Jenny in on the whole affair, explaining to him that I needed someone to talk to and that there was absolutely no one else out there that would be able to understand. Jenny was also one of the few people that I expected to listen with an open mind, but she'd been almost as panicked as anyone else might have been upon finding out just who Loki really was.

_"Wait," _Jenny had said,_ "you're serious? You were being serious this whole time? He's really a Norse god?"_

Loki had scoffed from behind me, _"Did you want to see a magic trick? Is that what you're looking for? I hear mortals like those."_

I had turned, giving him a dirty look and he simply raised his newspaper crossword puzzle once more, blocking his face from my view as he propped his feet up on the sofa.

_"Well, no, I just - I thought that they weren't real. But you're serious. And there's this government organisation looking for you? What's it called again? S.H.I.E.L.D.? What does that even stand for?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"It doesn't matter," _Loki had said dryly, _"they're idiots."_

_"Well, that's great but they sound like they mean business so what the hell did you two do?"_

I had shifted my weight from one foot to another, sparing a glance at Loki in the hopes of finding out if I was allowed to explain the truth to Jenny. He had once again lifted the crossword, letting out an exasperated sigh and rolling his eyes, which I took as silent permission.

_"Do you remember the attacks in New York?" _I had asked her then._ "The ones in May?"_

Jenny had hesitated, her eyes widening and she took a step backwards, bumping into the counter as she gaped at me.

_"Are you kidding me?" _she had whispered furiously,_ "Raleigh, what the hell are you doing?! He's - you're - that's terrorism! You'll go to jail forever if they catch you!"_

_"Jenny, Jenny, stop," _I had quickly grabbed her wrists as she moved to reach for her phone._ "Jenny, please, I'm begging you. You just need to hear me out. There's a lot more to it than we knew. You just need to listen to me, okay?"_

_"I don't need to listen!" _Jenny had practically shrieked. _"You've got a terrorist sleeping in bed with you! What more do I need to know?!"_

_"Well," _Loki had piped up, setting his crossword puzzle down, _"if you wouldn't mind telling me a seven-letter word for a small wickerwork boat, then I suppose that I might be willing to tell you about the danger that your planet faces from forces far more powerful than I."_

Jenny had stopped struggling with me, gaping at him,_ "Are you some kind of bloody nutter?" _she demanded, her eyes wide, _"You want to know a fucking crossword answer in exchange for information about someone coming to destroy the Earth?!"_

_"Well," _Loki had paused, as if thinking over his answer, and then,_ "Yes, actually. I'd like very much to finish my puzzle. I find it cathartic you see, it keeps me from murdering masses of Midgardians."_

I shot him a pleading look over my shoulder, finding his attempt at humour tasteless.

_"Coracle," _Jenny had practically spat, wrenching her wrists free from my grasp. She stormed over to him and threw herself down in the armchair next to the sofa._ "Now explain."_

In the end, she had agreed to keep her mouth shut and to her credit, which even Loki couldn't deny, Jenny had. Part of me had a sneaking suspicion that Loki had made sure to threaten her when I excused myself to go to the bathroom but they'd been amicable with one another when Jenny appeared in the early morning at our door, inviting herself inside to eat breakfast with us and to tell us about the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who were still hawking around King's College.

For the most part, Loki and I kept to ourselves. He hadn't told me what the next part of the plan was and I hadn't asked. Letting him translate his ruins while I slept and amused myself on my own was perfectly fine. I knew that when the time came and he needed me for something he'd call upon me. Until then, things were uncomplicated.

* * *

"I believe that it would be prudent for you to know how to defend yourself," Loki said as we finished breakfast. "Have you learnt anything previously?"

I stared at him, slowly setting my plate back down. We weren't going anywhere anytime soon it seemed. "No, I never had to."

He rolled his eyes, "That would explain quite a lot."

I scowled at him, "I didn't realise that my life was going to consist of secret agents hunting me and monsters popping up out of nowhere. I sure am sorry that I didn't request karate lessons instead of a pony."

Loki sneered at me, "And did you ever get a pony?"

"No," I replied tartly, "it wouldn't fit in my father's brownstone, nor do I particularly want one now."

"You mustn't flatter yourself, Raleigh, I wasn't about to consider getting you anything. I merely was curious if your childhood ignorance had been in waste."

I frowned at him, "Are you done now?" I asked him sourly.

"No," Loki shook his head and got to his feet. With a quick swipe of his hand he moved the sofa and other living room furniture to the side, then he gestured for me to follow him. "Come here," he ordered me as I got to my feet, coming to the edge of the living room. He pointed to a spot that was about a foot away from where he stood and stared at me expectantly, "Well do you want to learn this or not?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded, "All right, fine." I walked forward, taking my place and folded my arms across my chest, waiting for whatever he planned on showing me.

"Spread your legs out, stand with your feet planted apart," he ordered, when I did so he sighed heavily, "Not like _that, _like _this_." He crouched down, taking one of my legs and then the other, planting my feet so that they were spread at an angle where they were planted firmly below my shoulders and in line with my waist. "Better."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"It's about balance and it's a power stance," he replied simply, then, "Make a fist."

I did, balling one of my hands into a tight fist which Loki scowled at. He took my wrist in his hand, pulling at my thumb and then my other fingers before he rested it on the outside of my clenched fingers.

"If you put your thumb on the inside of your fist like that, you'll snap it. Don't be an idiot, keep your thumb out of there."

I flushed, "Such a gentle teacher you are."

Loki ignored my jab, instead taking my other hand which he also formed into a tight fist. He looked at me curiously, "Which is your dominant hand?" he asked me, "Your right, yes?" I nodded and watched as he brought my left hand forward and pushed my right arm back towards my chest, instructing me to keep my arms raised. "Hit me," he told me.

I stared at him, "What?"

"Hit me, Raleigh, you've surely done it enough before. You're quite practised at it by this point."

I scowled at him, "Loki, I'm not going to hit -"

He sighed, rolling his eyes and then brought his fist across the side of my face, sending me reeling. I staggered to the side, clutching at my cheek as I clamped my eyes shut and then, upon opening them, I looked up at him, "What the hell was that for?" I asked him angrily.

"Defend yourself. If I were an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., would you simply dawdle around and ask idiotic questions like what that was for?"

"No!" I replied indignantly, flushing red as I straightened, I raised my fists nervously as he approached me and he pursed his lips, "I wouldn't!" I cried.

"Then _hit me,_ Raleigh."

"I don't want -"

He once again struck me across the face, sending me to the floor this time. I landed with a yelp, jarring against the ground and he loomed above me, not bothering to offer me a hand for assistance. "And if a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent knocks you to the ground, what do you do?"

"I..."

"You take them down with you," he snapped irritably. "You do understand the principle, don't you?" he arched an eyebrow and gestured first at my foot and then his knee, "Go on then."

"I...I couldn't take a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."

"Not if you don't hit them," he growled, bending down and lifting me into the air. He set me upon my feet, scowling at me, "Keep your hands up like this to defend yourself. You can protect all of your vital organs this way by parrying off blows with your left arm."

"Loki!" I tugged away from him, scowling, "This is pointless, I'll never be able to beat one!"

"If you don't practise this then you'll be just as useless as you've always been. You'll be dead either way if a chitauri gets a hold of you, but at least you might be able to get away from one of Fury's men if you know how to throw a half decent punch." He once again lifted my arms up, arranging them how he saw fit as he frowned deeply.

I tugged my arms back from him, glaring at him and then rubbed my wrists, "They're highly trained and I'm just -"

"Oh bloody hell, Raleigh, do you want to end up in a prison cell? Are you simply content with being baggage?"

I hit him then, punching him square in the jaw and to my surprise he staggered back a few steps, grasping at his jaw which he rubbed carefully. He looked at me and nodded, "Good."

"Yeah?" I smiled at him.

"Don't get cocky," he told me, coming closer, "now do it again."

I did, moving to punch him again when he caught my fist in his hand. I wrenched myself backwards, struggling in vain when he pulled me in closer to himself, his free hand wrapping around my other wrist, holding fast to me.

"And now what do you do?" he asked me. "If I am not there to get you out of this mess, what do you do?"

I blinked, shaking my head at him, and stuttered, "I-I dunno."

"Think!" he chastised me, "What do you do?" He pulled me closer and without thinking I pulled my head back, bashing him in the nose with my forehead. He hissed out a breath, releasing me and then brought his hand back across my face, backhanding me. I stumbled, wincing, and then turned to him again, trying to straighten myself out when he suddenly had my arm in his grasp, holding me tightly.

I stared up at him with wide eyes, expecting him to send me back into the floor when he smiled at me instead, "Good." He touched at my cheek where he'd punched me and then my lip which felt swollen and sensitive to the touch before he looked back at me with a smirk, "Let's go again, shall we?"

* * *

"Who is it?" I asked Loki, poking my head out of the kitchen curiously as a knock came at the door.

He looked up at me, frowning, and then threw down his daily crossword puzzle, "Are you expecting Jenny?" he arched an eyebrow at me. "I was under the impression that she was to call."

I shrugged in reply, "Later on she's supposed to come by. She wanted to borrow a pair of shoes for a date she said, but it could be her. Her class could've been cancelled, I don't know."

He pursed his lips and got to his feet, making his way down the hall while I followed interestedly. He turned to me, rolling his eyes once as another knock came, and then opened the door. His face immediately seemed to drain of colour and, as I peered over his shoulder, my blood ran cold.

Standing outside of the flat's door was Tony, looking rather dapper in one of his business suits, flanked by two strange men. One, perhaps in his early twenties, was dressed nicely, with his hair combed neatly to the side and his button down shirt tucked into his trousers. He looked like he'd stepped out of a photograph from the 1940s...who on earth dressed like that? No one that I knew. The other, who was burlier, wore a pair of blue jeans, an unbuttoned flannel shirt, and white T-shirt beneath an old canvas jacket while his blonde hair fell down around his face and near his shoulders.

"Raleigh," Tony grinned at me, "great to see you again! I just wanted to check in to see if you were okay since we haven't gotten lunch in a while."

Loki's hand tightened on the door, his fingers digging into the wood, and he shot me a murderous glare over his shoulder. I quickly shook my head at him, unable to explain how Tony had found the flat.

"Don't worry about it," Tony continued, pushing past Loki. He grabbed me by the elbow, leading me down the hall briskly. "I'll explain everything in just a bit. How are you, Loki? This is an awfully nice place you've got yourself here."

Loki followed quickly, close on our heels and I could hear the sound of the door shutting behind us, the other two men following us out into the reception area of the flat.

"Tony," I wrenched my arm back from his grasp and looked between he and Loki, who was scowling. "What the hell's going on?" I demanded angrily, wrestling with an overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. Seeing his smug little smirk only made the impulse all the more tempting. This had to be how Loki felt around the smarmy bastard all the time.

"Oh, right," Tony nodded, looking at me, "I'm sorry, I completely forgot that I brought company. They insisted and I just couldn't get away. I hope you don't mind."

Hoped? My ass he did.

I set my jaw, looking over at the other two men as I stepped back to stand a little closer to Loki. If they had _insisted _then this couldn't be good. They definitely couldn't be good news.

The neater of the two men stepped towards me, breaking the tense silence as he offered his hand to me, "Steve Rogers, ma'am." I took his hand, returning his friendly smile with a tight lipped one of my own as he continued on, his Brooklyn accent thick, "Pleasure to meet you."

He was so..._formal_.

Wait, Steve Rogers.

_The _Steve Rogers?

The Steve Rogers my father had grown up reading comics about?

The Steve Rogers my father had told Ben and I tales about as children?

It had to be. There was no other possible explanation. Which meant...oh holy hell! I was shaking the hand of Captain America in the flesh!

"All mine," I managed to get out, feeling oddly starstruck as I stared up into his eyes. I released his hand quickly, well aware of Loki glaring at me as I continued to stare at Steve. Part of me wondered if it would be inappropriate given the situation to ask for an autograph on behalf of my father while another part of me was furious for my glee at being in the same room as Captain America.

The second man moved suddenly and Loki muttered something under his breath that was lost upon me as the larger of the two boomed, "Brother!" and then flung his arms around Loki, pulling him in for a hug.

Loki's face flashed through several different emotions before settling on aggravation and he wriggled about in the other god's grasp, hissing from between his clenched teeth, "Let me go, Thor!"

"I'm glad to see that you are faring well in Midgard," Thor said, completely ignoring Loki's annoyance as he pulled away from his adoptive brother. He turned to look at me now and then smiled at Loki hugely, "You've made friends with a Midgardian, brother?"

Tony snorted as Thor clapped Loki on the back as though he were quite proud and then he came forward, beaming at me as he offered a hand, "I am Thor, brother of Loki and Prince of Asgard."

Loki made a quiet noise behind the other god but I ignored it, instead taking the hand I was being offered and allowed him to shake my hand vigorously.

"My name is Raleigh," I told him, "and I wouldn't really classify Loki and I as friends."

"No?" Thor turned to look between us questioningly.

"Yeah, that's really not Loki's style," Tony said, cutting me off before I could continue, which earned a glare from Loki. "So I was in the neighbourhood and figured that I should maybe check in on you. How's the whole human slave thing working out for you?" he asked me.

I scowled and Loki's expression darkened further, his hands curling into tight fists. I quickly said, "Things are fine. Don't embellish the truth."

"Is that so?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows at me as Thor turned away, looking around the flat interestedly. "You were never this funny before, Raleigh."

"Don't tempt me," I muttered, "I've got plenty of reason to be funny."

"I'm sure you do," he replied with a smirk.

"How did you find this place, Stark?" Loki demanded, cutting me off before I could continue letting out my pent up frustrations on the man. "And exactly what is your business here?" he added as an afterthought.

"Oh, right," Tony nodded, "I promised to explain that whole thing to you. So it turns out that it's a lot easier to track a cell phone than you might think. I got pretty bored the other night and I'd been wondering about Raleigh here. Call me crazy, but I wasn't sure if you'd decided to rip her spine out or not and was a bit worried - you know since you do love us humans so much - and I managed to track her phone down to about a three block radius of this flat here. After that it was pretty easy to do the guess work."

There was a noticeable tic forming in Loki's jaw and I sighed heavily, forcing myself to remain calm, "Why are you here?"

"It's S.H.I.E.L.D. business," Steve said simply, "you should both know that we've been looking for you. Loki here is wanted for questioning in the deaths of several men in Lambeth, isn't that right?"

"I'm afraid that the memory escapes me," Loki replied coolly, his voice heavily controlled. "If that's all that this pertains to, why didn't Stark simply give these details to the Metropolitan police?"

"Well," Tony shrugged, "I don't know, you might kill half of them like you did in New York."

Loki's eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched as the memory of just who I had chosen to ally myself with resurfaced._ More deaths than the September 11 attacks..._

"What Tony means to say is that we also had a rather interesting mission in Paris and we weren't sure if either of you would know anything about it," Steve said, shooting Tony a warning look.

"While the thought is flattering, I'm incapable of leaving the United Kingdom. Though I do believe that your organisation's inability to discover my precise location for several weeks is quite startling and truly quite alarming. I would certainly want to rectify that if I were in your position. Surely you agree, Captain?"

Steve's smile was strained. "We're just fine, thanks," he said.

"No matter," Loki shrugged, "I simply don't understand why you believe that either Raleigh or I would be able to leave this country without one of your little spies noticing? Surely you've assigned Barton to the job."

Judging by the mocking tone of Loki's voice and the way both Tony and Steve glared at him, Barton was a sore subject. Wait...Barton. That had been the agent on the train. Why hadn't he realised it was us? Our disguises were well enough, but he should've caught us, Loki was practically mocking him and his job the whole time. _Agent Clint Barton -_ what on earth had Loki done to him before?

I could feel Tony's gaze shift to me suddenly and I stared at him, holding his gaze for a few moments before he looked away, towards Loki as the god moved forward quickly.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked, moving away from me, "Where are you going?" he asked Thor who had begun to wander around the flat and was presently heading towards our bedroom. _"Brother!"_

Tony walked over to me as Steve turned his attention to the Asgardians. They were squabbling before the bedroom door, arguing over whether Thor had a right to look around the flat or if Loki was being unreasonable in his refusal. If it were under different circumstances, I'd find the argument amusing. They were like little boys.

"I saw the blood," Tony muttered to me as he stopped by my side, "I know it was yours."

I rounded on him, "Yeah?" I asked, "Did you take a sample of my blood while I was sleeping on your sofa, too?" I demanded, barely bothering to keep my voice down, except to stop Loki from overhearing the conversation.

Tony rolled his eyes, ignoring the question, "Look, the only person out there who is batty enough to try getting their hands on the Book of Ullr is currently over there arguing with his big brother. It isn't that hard to put two and two together."

"Yeah, you're right, it's not that hard to put two and two together. You're sure as hell not here for a social call. What do you want?" I snarled, beginning to lose my patience with him.

"I worried."

"And that gives you the right to trace my cell phone?" I hissed at him, eyes narrowing.

"Well," Tony shrugged, "no, but I'm pretty sure that the Patriot Act allows government agents to do it."

I snorted, "Is that what you're calling yourself these days?" I asked him, "A government agent? I guess it suits you if you're going to be out there lying to any random stranger in the name of a _greater good_."

"First of all, I _am _a government agent and have been for a while now; second, I'm also the only one in this room that knows all the gory details about you and the Little Prince over there. I can let this go either way, you know."

"Are you trying to blackmail me?" I snapped at him, "Because in case you forgot, they only gave you that title to make you feel better about yourself. Your ego would never recover if it had to admit to being government _property_, which is all that you are. Agent just sounds _so_ much better, _so _much fancier. Second, I don't give a damn."

"Oooh, that's a little prickly of you, Raleigh, what's the matter? Don't tell me you're still bitter about me telling S.H.I.E.L.D. on you and trying to make sure you were safe. It was for your own good, you're in over your head."

"I'm _not_ bitter," I spat at him.

"Are you sure? Thor's about to break into your bedroom by the way. If you tell me where you put the Book of Ullr, I'll call him off right now and we can call it a day."

"I'm not telling you another goddamn thing even if my bloody life depends on it."

Tony shrugged nonchalantly, "Okay then," he replied. He looked up just as Thor managed to poke his head into the bedroom curiously, looking around as Loki hissed out a string of profanities.

The god of thunder pulled back, pausing for a moment and then looked around the flat, clearly perplexed by the lack of a second bedroom door.

"You only have one bedroom?" Steve asked, frowning slightly.

Tony whistled lowly, "Ten points for Captain Obvious over there," he muttered earning a dirty look from Steve.

"Move," Loki muttered, pushing the thunder god aside. He tugged the bedroom door shut and then looked at Steve, "It isn't any of your concern. You've come for the Book have you not, Stark? I haven't acquired it."

Steve rubbed his face wearily and Tony rolled his eyes, both clearly ready to settle in for the long haul of trying to drag out of the information they wanted from Loki.

Thor, however, was still looking between Loki and I when his face suddenly lit up and he seized Loki by the shoulder, "Oh, brother, you are not friends with this mortal are you?" he asked eagerly, "You are a couple, are you not? Are you courting her?"

Tony snickered beside me as Loki's face darkened in irritation and Steve cast a wary glance over his shoulder at the two of us, obviously unsure of what to think anymore.

"Yep," Tony piped up, "Loki sure is starting to warm up to us mortals by the looks of things, huh, pal? Who knew he had it in him?"

Loki gave Tony a look that would have killed him if it were possible.

"Oh, brother, this is fantastic news!" Thor grinned hugely and then headed for me again, now wrapping his arms around me in a bone crushing hug. "Raleigh, you are a very fine Midgardian woman and my brother is very lucky indeed. For how long now have you two been residing together?"

"Long enough," Tony said simply, looking down at me as Thor returned me to the ground, "isn't that right?"

I remained silent, biting down on the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at him again.

Thor's brow furrowed and he turned to Loki, "Brother, are you having relations with her?"

Well, _that _was definitely straight to the point...

"I hardly find that to be of your concern," Loki said with a sneer, "you know my feelings for Midgardian women, Thor."

"See?" Tony turned, looking at Steve, "I _knew_ he didn't like girls. I _told _you he liked fashion too much. Those antlers and all that leather? You know what they say."

"If I hate Midgardian women, what makes you think I desire Midgardian _men_, Stark? Desperate want, perhaps?" Loki arched an eyebrow. "Surely you have yourself a harem waiting, unless Ms. Potts is still acting as your consort?" He paused, sighing, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, you use the word _assistant_, don't you?"

Tony's jaw clenched at the jab and he turned, "You know, Loki, I've been wondering, what's with you keeping a perfectly nice mortal girl here? Why don't you want her to leave? You didn't get her pregnant, did you? Was that it? Did you put a little bun into the oven?"

My blood ran cold and Thor barely had enough time to keep Loki from flying at Tony, grabbing the raven haired god around the middle as he lunged for Tony. Tony's eyes grew wide as Thor threw Loki backwards, stepping between the two of them and he glanced at me and then at Loki again.

"Holy shit," Tony said in disbelief, "he did."

Steve had a strange look on his face, almost like he was beginning to think that he wasn't paid enough to deal with these situations.

"Brother," Thor grabbed Loki by the shoulder, his countenance immediately shifting, serious now. "Brother, is this true?"

"It's not of your concern, Thor," Loki muttered, his eyes locked on Tony as he spoke. He looked like he was ready to murder Tony with his bare hands. "It is no longer viable."

"Sorry?" Steve stepped forward, "What exactly do you mean, _viable_?"

"He means I miscarried," I said flatly, "it's done. Nothing came of it. I'm not pregnant anymore."

"Brother," Thor turned to look at his brother, "didn't you realise that Midgardian women are capable of procreation with us?" When Loki didn't immediately respond, he carried on, "Whenever Jane and I consummate our relationship we use Midgardian protection. Should you need to discuss how -"

"Thor, _please,_" Loki's voice was strained and to my surprise his brother fell silent.

"_Damn_," Tony sounded far too smug for my liking, "that was just a lucky guess, too!"

Before I could stop myself, my hand had curled into a tight fist and I brought it across Tony's cheek with such force that he staggered and clutched the side of his face as his head snapped to the side. I pulled my hand back, wincing at the pain that had begun to work its way through my fingers and then let it fall to my side, flexing them slowly.

The room went silent as Tony grunted, straightening, and I slowly pulled my gaze away from him as he gaped at me with an affronted look. Steve and Thor were both staring at me, their looks mirroring one another's: they seemed confused, yet somewhat approving but offended by the boldness of my hitting Tony. Loki, meanwhile, was staring at me with a surprised expression, though he was practically glowing with pride.

I kept my eyes focused on Loki as Steve came forward, grabbing Tony by the arm. "Come on, Tony," he said quietly, he looked down at me as he shoved Tony towards the door, "We'll be in touch."

I nodded silently, watching as Steve continued to push Tony towards the door and then out into the hall. He stopped in the doorway, looking at Thor who was lingering beside Loki, speaking to him in a hushed tone.

Thor glanced up at Steve and then clapped Loki on the shoulder, pulling him close for a hug which Loki returned half-heartedly this time. I watched as Thor turned and came towards me. He stared at me for a few moments, his brow furrowed and he then placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Take care, Raleigh," he nodded at me. "I thank you for having had such a good effect upon my brother and I hope to see you again."

I nodded in reply, "Thanks, Thor, you too. Feel free to drop by when you like."

Loki groaned softly from behind Thor, who brightened at the invitation.

"That would be lovely!" he exclaimed, then looked at Loki, "Wouldn't it, brother?"

Loki's smile was somewhat pained, "Oh yes," he nodded, "lovely indeed."

"Thor," Steve's voice was gentle, "we've got to get going. We'll be back another day."

Thor nodded, smiling at me and then nodded to Loki once again before he headed for the door and disappeared into the hall with Steve and Tony, pulling the door shut behind himself. I crossed the small distance that remained between myself and the door, latching it so that it locked, and was about to turn when I felt Loki's breath on the back of my neck.

"There was no need to encourage him," he muttered to me. "Thor doesn't need to believe that you and I wish to have him here any more than absolutely necessary."

I turned in his arms as he pressed closer to me and frowned at him, "What if I wanted him to come back?"

Loki pursed his lips at me but then leaned down, leaving a gentle kiss upon my lips. When he pulled back, opening his eyes to stare into my own, he murmured, "Are you all right?"

"My hand hurts a bit," I admitted, earning a quiet laugh from Loki.

He reached out, picking my hand up slowly and inspected my thumb first and then my knuckles. He smirked to himself, brushing his thumb across the bones of my hand and then raised my hand to his lips, kissing each of my knuckles gently before he pulled my fingers back from my palm where he planted a final kiss.

"Better?" he asked me quietly.

I smiled crookedly, standing on tiptoe and kissed him slowly in reply.

"It's nice to see you didn't break your thumb," he murmured, pulling back from me for a moment. "Though, I must admit that I was hoping you'd break Stark's nose."

"So sorry to disappoint," I murmured against his lips as he kissed me again, pulling me away from the door and down the hall. "Maybe next time I'll get lucky."

He sniggered, deepening our kiss as we returned to the living room. I opened my eyes for a moment, lifting one hand to run it through Loki's hair before I knotted my fingers at the nape of his neck among his soft, tousled hair. He continued to hold me close to himself, his hands steadily running along my middle before he lifted me into the air, carrying me over to the sofa where he sat, keeping me firmly set in his lap.

"I missed this," he breathed as I broke our kiss, bowing my head to kiss the exposed skin of his throat. "I missed you..."

He ran his hands over my thighs and as I sat up a little more fully, straddling him to the sofa, and his hands travelled to my rear, groping my bum through my jeans. I let out a soft sigh against his throat, then pressed my lips to the underside of his jaw before nipping his earlobe gently.

Loki turned his head, kissing me deeply now. His tongue slipped between my lips, gently teasing my own, and he pulled me in closer to himself, our bodies melding together. He lifted my shirt, pulling it from my body and then broke our kiss, bowing his head to press his lips to my breasts, kissing over the bare flesh as he undid the clasp of my bra. I dropped my head back as he covered one of my taut nipples with his mouth, his tongue teasing me for a moment before he broke away again, pressing his lips to my throat. With a soft moan, I brought one curious hand down to the front of his trousers, groping at him, and then began to tug at his belt as he pulled my chin down, taking my mouth with his own when our faces were level once more.

"_Behave_," he growled as I pulled his belt open. He pushed me to the side where he slid between my legs, perching himself on top of me. "Naughty thing."

I snickered, dragging my lips across his cheek to his ear, "Aren't we one to talk?" I teased him, beginning to pull at the buttons of his shirt instead.

Loki let out a quiet groan of approval as he pressed his lips to my throat again, gently biting on my skin, sucking at it. I gasped softly as he ground his hips against my own and then pushed his shirt back from his shoulders, exposing his bare chest. He gave me another gentle thrust of his hips, playful, and ran his hands over my breasts, groping each before he returned his mouth to one and then the other, providing attention to each.

I closed my eyes, arching my back as he teased at my breasts and then slowly worked his way down my middle, his hands working over my middle, possessive, strong, before they came to a stop on the still healing scars from where the chitauri had struck me several weeks earlier. I could feel him hesitate as he touched the raised, scarred flesh, his hands moving over the marks slowly, and then to my horror he pulled away retreating to the other side of the sofa.

I lifted myself up on my elbows, staring at him while he averted his gaze, refusing to look at me, "Loki," I whispered, "are you all right?"

He was silent, instead leaning down to retrieve his shirt from the floor and I watched in silence as he pulled it on, refastening the buttons as he stood and then as he buckled his belt again. I set my jaw, understanding suddenly just what was happening, and watched as he raked a hand through his hair, smoothing it, and then headed for his coat where it hung in the closet.

"I will be back later," his voice was controlled again, emotionless. "Don't wait up, you need to rest."

I didn't reply, instead I watched as he made his way down the hall and to the door through which he left, leaving me alone in the apartment as the door latched itself behind him. I sank back down onto the sofa, curling up on the cushions as tears began to leak from the corners of my eyes, hot and thick. I ran a hand down my middle to touch at the scars, feeling them myself and let out a soft sob. It was why he'd left. He was ashamed of it, of _me_, and touching the scars was a reminder; I choked on another sob then, only crying harder.

* * *

**A/N****:** _Please read and review! Really makes my day. :D And as a starving artist, I do feed off of criticisms, positive and negative alike. Also, thanks to anyone who reviewed/favoured/followed, it was incredibly nice of you!_

**Reviews!:**

**Am4444****:** _Thank you very much. I'm really glad that you liked it. I was feeling pretty wary about it when I put it up because of how delicate of a subject it is._  
**Mija****:**_ Thank you! :) And I reckon that he is, it just isn't something that can happen very easily. And thanks! Hope that you had a very pleasant one :)_  
**Poodle Warriors****:** _Thank you so much. Like I said above, this was one thing that I was really wary of writing because of how delicate a subject miscarriage is. I'm really pleased by the response I've gotten and it means a lot to hear that I did well with it on both sides. Hope you had a pleasant holiday!_  
**Kearabee****:** _Byronic heroes do make for the best heroes I think. There's a lot that you can do with them. With a standard hero you just expect them to be all good, there's this lack of duality in them. When you have a Byronic hero, you have a character that's really unpredictable. Byronic heroes can seemingly go either way - good or bad, they're wild cards and I think they're really fun (and fascinating) to write. Especially when you dig into their psychology. I'm glad you liked 20 (and I agree about it being good for development) and hope you had a great Christmas! :D_  
**Ripples of Aqua****:** _Oh no, it's totally okay! I don't mind. :) I love reviews but totally understand if someone isn't always reviewing, I don't expect it. I'm glad that you're liking it though and thank you! And yes, I was really happy to put up Loki's POV. So many people had asked about it and I never really began pieces prior to the last chapter that would fit in without ruining some part of the plot. There will definitely be more though. :D_  
**Ellize Avalon****:** _Writing from Loki's POV would ruin the plot of things or require me to keep a great deal from readers, which wouldn't make for a good story. It's better to write from Raleigh's POV predominantly because she's just as blind to Loki and his intentions as the reader ought to be. As for unfavouriting based upon Loki being an ass, and here I'll be blunt, it seems a little pointless. I've tried to make it clar in previous responses to reviews from readers across the board that I don't believe Loki is the kind of character that just changes suddenly and is nice. He's an asshole; he's manipulative, cunning, and selfish. And on top of that, all of these behaviours and his bigotry towards mortals and Jotuns and other beings comes from 2,000 years of learning that such ideas and ways of living are acceptable. Expecting him to be nice when he's not nice in canon and expecting him to do an about face is wrong and as a writer, I feel that I wouldn't be doing the character justice to completely change him around and to make him nice and loving. That's something that consistently annoys me when I read fanfiction, people who take Loki out of canon and make him nice. He's complicated, he doesn't deal well with feelings. Like at the end of this chapter, those scars bring feelings that he isn't ready to deal with and that's something I really want to convey. But I'm not going to force growth upon him abruptly, it needs to come when it's appropriate and steadily for me to accept it as being worthwhile for the character. That doesn't mean that he doesn't have a heart, but the fact is that in canon, Loki is a son of a bitch. He has a heart, sure, but first and foremost, Loki cares about himself and is self-seeking. It takes a lot for him to see beyond himself - hence this. I'm glad I could get you back into the story and all and thank you, but in the end, Loki's a twat and he's going to be until something greater happens to make him see beyond his first priority. It's character development, he'll grown and change, I can promise anyone that, but it's not an easy thing and he's never going to be all nice._  
**Purplenurpl****: (19)** _I'm glad you think so :D And yes, character development. I think it's pretty important. And it might be?! I was just going for it being Christmas hehe._ **(20)** _I'm glad that you liked it so much. :) I always thought that when I wrote in Loki's POV I tended to reveal and develop his character a lot more because it really gets into his head. I like it though._  
**shygirl12354****:** _I'll do my best, thanks! :)_  
**Batattax****: (4)** _Thank you very much! :D_  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** _I'm glad to have made people feel for them. Hope that you enjoyed this one too. :)_  
**LuciaDeetz****:** _First of all, wow, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your review put a big old smile on my face! :D It always means a lot to hear that I've done well with a character (or, in this case, characters) and it's especially nice to hear that my work is readable and easy to understand from someone who wasn't raised speaking English (by the way, your English is impeccable considering that you aren't a native speaker :) you're better than many of the native speakers I know, actually). Thank you so much again and I hope that you continue to enjoy it!_  
**KMD88****:** _Oh shush, you. You know all my plans. :p In seriousness though, I'm glad that you liked that one as much as you did. I really think that it's going to take a lot for Loki to be able to accept how he feels over the whole miscarriage. I know we may have discussed this, but Loki's a misogynist and her failing to carry to term because she was injured and miscarried is something that he would view as a personal failure. He might have achieved what he considers key to being a man and she might fulfil what he thinks is necessary for a woman to be a real woman, but this is a failure all the same. And he's going to be reminded of that consistently when he sees her, which makes everything he's feeling worse, because a sense of failure taints those feelings the same way that his bigotry towards Midgardians does. And I think that's what it comes down to, that Loki can't deal with failing right now or the idea of liking her as anything more than a simple tool._

_Thanks again, everyone! Hope you're having pleasant holidays! :)_


	22. A Mutual Understanding

**Disclaimer****: **_I own nothing but the OCs and plot and such. The rest belong to Marvel and respective owners._

Oh. And some NSFW material is contained in here, I suppose. Just a fair warning.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: A Mutual Understanding**

Raleigh was sleeping in bed by the time he arrived home. He moved silently around the flat, slowly pulling off his things before he crawled into bed beside her, noting with a frown that she'd elected to wear one of his shirts to bed. He'd have to have a word with her about that. Just because things were amicable between the two of them didn't mean she was about to get comfortable; his things were still his alone to give. She had no place in taking from him freely.

Pursing his lips, he reached out, carefully tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear and then laid in silence, watching the mortal girl as she slept until the morning sun broke through the curtains, signalling the arrival of dawn. He remained still, facing the girl that rested beside him, her dark hair splayed across the pillow, her face calm as she slept, and then sighed heavily, casting his eyes to the clock the stood upon her bedside table.

Mortals were such silly things, time was so utterly pointless. It was an imaginary concept that they alone created and followed, no beasts on Midgard adhered to their constant scheduling and insistence of being _on time_. Yet he knew it to be necessary, there would be no opportunity for him to carry out his plans unless he acted on a careful schedule just like a mortal might.

He watched as Raleigh's eyes slowly opened and she rolled onto her side, staring at him blearily. She rubbed her face and pushed a handful of dark hair back over her shoulder, blinking the sleep from her eyes.

"What time did you get in?" she asked him softly, pulling the blankets closer to her.

"Late," he replied quietly, staring into her eyes, waiting for the impending questions. She wanted to know where he'd been, why he'd left - she could pretend to be as familiar with him as he was with her, but she still couldn't understand him the way he'd come to understand her.

"Where'd you go?" she asked.

He smiled slightly, amused with himself for having correctly guessed the next question, "I went for a walk, I needed time to myself to think over a few things. Were you all right here?"

She nodded at him, "Yeah, fine. Jenny showed up around seven and I ordered out. Why'd you leave?"

"No reason in particular," he replied evasively, changing the subject quickly, "I see you've taken one of my shirts?"

She hesitated, flushing slightly, "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just grabbed the first thing I found in the dark."

He pursed his lips at her, moving in closer, and then said quietly, "I think I should take it off of you. Rather naughty of you to be stealing my things when you know better, isn't it?"

Raleigh was silent, staring at him with wide eyes and then leaned in slowly, hesitating just before his lips. He could feel her breath against his lips, but she remained still, her eyes boring into his own. He marvelled at how she looked this close, she was oddly pretty in her own way. Midgardians on a whole weren't a very pretty bunch of creatures, but there was something to her that he enjoyed, that he found himself admiring. He'd been of the mind that it was her arse for some time and then her pert little breasts before he decided that he liked her legs as he recalled on occasion how they'd felt wrapped around his waist. There had been numerous times when he had lain in bed, feigning sleep, and watched in silence as she walked the room in a state of undress while he admired the curves of her body.

Yet as he hovered this close to her, he found himself thinking that it was none of that, instead he was forced to think that it was her eyes perhaps. They were such a strange colour, a light golden shade that was mesmerising, her lashes long and dark. And if it wasn't her eyes, then perhaps it was the light freckles on her skin that he could only see when he was this close to her or it just as well could have been her lips, which were a pale, rosy pink hue that melded finely with her fair skin.

Despite his admiring her, though, she feared him rejecting her. It was aggravating, he had no intention of rejecting her. He enjoyed these embraces far too much. He understood psychology. He understood that her need for affection was now at a greater high than it ever had been before. The physical pleasure he brought her was just enough to keep her satisfied, to soothe her insecurity, and he had no problem in bringing it to her. So long as he continued to make her understand that she was wanted, that she wasn't revolting, she'd be fine. He could keep any impending mental breakdowns at bay if he soothed her fears this way, if he held her close and told her the words that she wanted to hear when they were finished.

It helped, too, that she'd repaid his kindness on the occasion with affection that bordered upon intimacy. He'd been more than satisfied upon returning one evening to find Raleigh waiting up for him in bed only to take him with her mouth. It was still a memory that he replayed in his mind when he was alone with himself and he enjoyed it tremendously.

He had always found himself listening with mild interest to Thor and the Warriors Three as they recounted their conquests in bed, bemused with how easily they swapped their tales of rutting and taking Asgardian women. They had at least had enough tact to keep it to themselves when Sif was around, though they'd been curious on the rare occasion to wrestle information from Loki, attempting to _engage_ him. Yet he hadn't any desire to share that memory, not with anyone but Raleigh and he couldn't understand how he was supposed to feel differently. She hadn't done it pointlessly, she'd done it without expectation of him returning her affection, she'd done it selflessly and it pleased him to no end to have held her afterwards, to taste himself on her tongue when he'd kissed her before sleeping. Hadn't it been the same, he often wondered, or was it the blasted sentiment that he occasionally felt for the silly mortal girl?

Perhaps that was why he'd grown to have such an immense fondness for her lips and the way they felt on his skin... Without a second thought, he closed the fraction of space that barred him from her lips, claiming her mouth as his own again. He kept his eyes open as he kissed her, watching as her eyes closed, her brow furrowing in concentration as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, kissing him expertly in return. That was one power he wished for bitterly - he might have given his left foot to hear the Midgardian's thoughts as he touched her. To his surprise, she opened her eyes, one of her hands resting on the side of his face as she stared up into his own.

He kept his focus on her, kissing her deeper, his tongue teasing her own as he wrapped an arm around her waist, his hand slipping beneath the shirt she wore to run along the bare skin of her back. He could feel her muscles tense at his touch and he splayed his palm across her back, pulling her over his waist without breaking their embrace.

He hadn't been lying to her, he had missed this, touching her in this way. He hated to think that there had been something special about their embraces together, but he had to admit to himself that he'd longed to have her again. She wouldn't allow it though and he wasn't stupid enough to delude himself into believing that she was about to spread her legs for him on a whim. He could have fooled her into it once, fucked her selfishly and greedily, and then taken her again when she was broken and had her in just as selfish a fashion, but now it would be impossible. She'd want for love and adoration, not for simple carnal pleasure.

And it wasn't that he was opposed to giving her love and adoration, it was that he knew himself to be incapable of such sentiment, especially for a Midgardian such as herself. Holding her and touching her, all but having her again was one thing, but acting as a lover rather than a business partner wasn't his place. He lusted for her certainly, but he couldn't begin to think that he might have any love for her. He pretended many things with her, but love was not one of the things he feigned; even he was above that.

He simply lusted for her body, to feel her curves as his hands roved freely over her, and he cupped her breasts in his hands as he sat up, pulling her into his lap more fully. She let out a soft moan against his lips and he immediately brought his attention back to her face, watching as the corners of her eyes crinkled, small creases forming in her skin as he fondled her breasts. Her lips broke from his again as she let out another soft groan, and he rolled one of her taut nipples between his thumb and forefinger, teasing her.

He broke their kiss, instead bowing his head to begin unbuttoning the shirt she'd donned with his teeth. He could hear her breath hitch in her throat as he brought his hands around to her bum, lifting her up onto her knees so that he could reach the final button that fell just above her waist. She was scared of him touching the dreadful things again. He couldn't blame her. Despite finding her body delightful in every other way, enjoying every sound that he managed to elicit from her lips, he despised the scars that the chitauri had left. They were revolting.

However, he ignored them this time, reminding himself that he still had to put her back to bed and that leaving her in the same frenzied state as he had once before would only make his life all the more difficult. They truly were ghastly things, ugly, and they marred her otherwise smooth flesh horribly by stretching across her lower abdomen in long, rope-like trails, raised to the touch, but pushing her off again would be a far worse punishment.

He slipped his hand down into her panties, pleased to find that she was wet to the touch, and gradually began to rub at her clit, looking up at her to watch as pleasure flashed across her face, quiet moans falling from her lips. He continued on, teasing her and working her with his fingers with a practised hand, allowing her fingers to knot in his hair, her lips to press to his own again.

She kissed him passionately and as he lay back, keeping her on top of himself, her chest pressed to his own and he could feel her heart hammer out beats wildly. He continued though, his mouth on her own while she mewled, his fingers continuing their ministrations as he brought her closer to the edge of climax. If she offered oral this morning when he'd finished her, he intended to take it. It'd been annoying enough to pass up her hands on his cock the day before, if she was willing and offering it this morning, he'd readily allow it.

He watched as she broke their kiss, her hips moving in time with his fingers, and she straddled him, her groans increasing in volume and frequency. She was getting close, he could feel her hesitations, hear how her breath caught in her throat, and watched as her brow furrowed in concentration, her eyes closed tightly as he brought her to climax.

He marvelled as her back arched and she let out a cry, her heat clenching around his fingers as he buried his digits within her again, staring up at her with parted lips, breathless. She relaxed as the orgasm washed over her, her body slowly unwinding and she stared down at him, sweat dotting her brow as she panted.

She leaned down again, pressing her lips to his own, confident now, and then pulled herself back from him, nestling herself in his arms as she continued to kiss him.

_Damn it._ She wasn't going to offer it this morning; she was done. He broke their kiss, pressing his lips to her nose, and then wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Go back to sleep," he murmured to her, "it's far too early to be up."

"You sure?" her brow furrowed and she reached out, stroking his cheek gently only for him to nod.

"Of course I am," he said. And he was. He didn't need to have her watching him as he excused himself to the bathroom to get off; it was bad enough already that his cock was throbbing painfully in his trousers. He wasn't sure why, but it seemed that the stupid girl believed that she didn't have the same effect upon him that he did upon her. Arousal wasn't something he'd been keen to discuss with her, but he was beginning to think it was going to be necessary. Having her service him was fine, having her crawling all over his body was fine, but having her think that he was somehow in full control of what did and didn't arouse him was _not_ fine at all.

He used to be able to ignore her, to simply get her off while thinking of something else, such as the ruins in the Book of Ullr, but the more time he spent with her the more he was reminded of just how intoxicating he found her. It was no longer a simple job where he rarely grew hard from her touch. Instead, it was now consistent. He wanted the stupid mortal again. He thought of it often, of rutting with her even though she'd ruled it out almost immediately when they'd begun to do this, to share themselves with one another. They'd begun it to keep their sanity, to occupy themselves when they were bored, but it had begun to push him over the edge. He was sentimental, he desired the Midgardian; he was an idiot to allow it to continue on and yet he did, lust ruling over any reason he had left.

She pressed her lips to his own gently, jolting him from his thoughts, and he quickly broke the kiss, then pecked her on the lips a final time.

"Go to sleep," he ordered her.

"I am, I am," she muttered, rolling over to give him her back. "Do you want your shirt back now?" she asked him, peeking over her shoulder at him.

"No," he replied quietly, keeping his arm draped around her middle. The last thing he needed was to have her laying next to him in nothing but a pair of panties.

He watched in silence as she fell back to sleep, his mind wandering idly to his memories of her and his fantasies. The things he would have done to her if she allowed it...

He pushed the thought aside, boosting himself up to see that she was sleeping and then rolled away, crawling from the bed to his feet. He sighed heavily, pulling the blankets up around her and then slipped away into the bathroom of the flat.

Did she simply think that he didn't find her attractive? That he didn't enjoy her touch?

He let out a frustrated growl, unbuttoning his trousers as he shut the bathroom door and leaned back against the sink, closing his eyes as he allowed his mind to drift back to the memory he had of Raleigh from that night. He grunted, continuing to work himself when the bathroom door creaked open.

He froze in his place, opening his eyes after a few moments to see Raleigh lounging in the doorway with a smirk on her face.

"You know," she said quietly, "it's kind of obvious when you've got a boner in there."

He was silent, unsure of how to react at being caught in this predicament. This hadn't happened before. Not once in his life. It was almost shameful. No, it _was _shameful.

"And?" he managed to get out in a steady voice.

"And I don't see why you insist on running off to the toilet whenever we're done like a sixteen year old boy." She stepped into the bathroom now and he could feel his muscles tense as she approached him, her expression bemused.

"What would you suggest then?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh, I don't have any suggestions," she replied, shaking her head. She uncrossed her arms, continuing on as she pushed his shirt back from her shoulders, "I mean, you just could've asked."

"Asked?" he echoed, raising his eyebrows at her. "_Asked_ you?"

"Yes, or made some kind of move that you wanted it," she replied, "it's not rocket science."

He was quiet, pursing his lips at her, "Fine. Will you?"

"Will I what?"

She was having fun with this. He loathed when she knew that she had the upper hand.

"I want to fuck your mouth."

"That didn't sound like a request."

He scowled at her, "Will you _let_ me fuck your mouth?"

"Oooh, _so_ close."

She was really getting annoying now. Her smugness was unbearable.

"Will you pleasure me?"

"I'm looking for a please."

His jaw clenched and he forced the word out through his teeth.

_"Please."_

* * *

Two hours later, he sat in one of the chairs that were positioned before Tony Stark's desk, waiting patiently for the CEO to enter his office. Outside, sunlight streamed down into the city, springtime fully alive in the morning.

This was why he had wanted Raleigh asleep and to stay asleep for a good several hours. She didn't need to know about this. He certainly wasn't looking forward to the impending conversation; there was no way that even the memory of Raleigh upon her knees would be able to keep him from killing Stark. He had absolutely no qualms with the thought of flinging the man out of a window yet again.

The door behind him opened and he could hear Stark speaking rapidly to Potts, "No, calm down, Pepper, I've got this. No, I said, _I've got this_." He smirked to himself, it figured that he would be trying to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. out of the picture until he had spoken to Loki in private. The door shut and Loki turned ever so slightly, watching as Stark moved forward, heading to the table behind his desk that held a flask of brandy.

"How are you doing, Loki?" he asked curiously, his voice casual. "I owe you a drink, don't I?"

"I believe you do," Loki replied, his voice calm. "Have your people called upon Fury and his men yet?"

Tony turned, extending one of the glasses of brandy to him, which he took, standing.

"No," Tony shook his head, "they haven't. You haven't given me a reason to have them call him yet. So what do you want? Is this your unconditional surrender? Are you waving the white flag?"

Loki smirked, sipping the brandy and then walked across the room, staring up at the portrait of Howard Stark with a frown, "On the contrary, Stark. On the contrary."

"What do you mean, on the contrary?"

Loki ignored his question, "Your father found the tesseract at the bottom of the ocean, did he not?"

Tony was silent for a few moments, then, "Thor said that it's still on Asgard and locked up."

"Oh it is," Loki nodded and then turned to look at Stark. He smiled devilishly, "But what makes you think that the tesseract alone is capable of destroying your planet? Surely you of all people are not that ignorant, Stark."

Stark set down his brandy, his face serious, "What's this about, Loki?"

"I wish to devise an arrangement with S.H.I.E.L.D. regarding the Book of Ullr. I have only a few terms you see, but I wish to come to a mutual understanding if you will."

"That's cute," Tony nodded, "all this time on Earth has made you up for negotiations?"

Loki snorted, "If I was without baggage, do you believe for a second that I would be in your office offering assistance and proposing an agreement?" He continued on before Tony could speak, "Obviously, I would not be. I would be well out of here and well out of the range of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Fury's idiotic spies and those that wish to harm your planet would be with whom I might align myself."

Tony nodded slowly, understanding, "But you've got Raleigh."

"Yes," Loki replied, sipping on the brandy once again. "I have Raleigh and I don't wish to have her harmed by forces beyond my control."

"What are these forces and how many are there?" Tony asked.

"Thanos, of course, but there is also Amora. I do not know why they allied nor how she came to agree to such an alliance, but they have. Thanos wishes to see the Earth destroyed and has the chituari at his disposal while Amora's magic is just as powerful as my own."

"We already dealt with the chitauri."

"There are plenty more, Stark, what you had in New York was merely a taste of Thanos's army. If he means to give your planet war, you stand no chance. Not without proper allies or a plan of action that puts you ahead of them."

"And this Amora chick? What about her?"

"Her magic is extremely powerful, she is a threat just as great as Thanos and the chitauri."

"How do you know her?"

"It doesn't matter," Loki said dismissively, "my knowing them is not your concern. What is your concern, or should be, is your ruddy plot of dirt."

"So we should be afraid of them?" Tony arched an eyebrow and Loki bristled at the hint of mocking in the man's voice.

"I would advise you to be very afraid of them. I am offering you and S.H.I.E.L.D. what you desire, do you think that is the choice of a confident and fearless man?"

"I actually think that's a calculated move by a narcissistic sociopath, but that's not really the point is it?" Tony asked, picking up his brandy to take a drink of it.

He smirked, "Come now, Stark, surely you understand that I am not acting for myself."

"I do," Stark nodded and sat down in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk. "Why won't you tell me about them?"

"What is there to tell you, Stark?" Loki asked irritably. "Thanos and Amora mean to use the Book as a weapon to murder countless Midgardians. Is it not your job to come to the rescue of all the little mortals? Isn't that what you and the other Avengers have sworn to do?"

Tony scowled in reply.

Loki finished his glass of brandy, then approached the desk, setting his glass tumbler down. "Stark, are you willing to negotiate this or not? If you aren't then we have nothing more to discuss whereas if you are, then I might be willing to discuss this in greater detail with yourself and the Avengers. I mustn't give away my hand so easily, surely you realise that."

"What are your terms?"

"I want Raleigh to be exempt of a prison sentence for her assisting me," he replied simply. "I also want a guarantee that there will be no sentencing for myself until after a resolution has been made."

"Well, if they destroy the Earth, does it really matter if we sentence you or not?"

"If I am assisting you in defeating them, why would you allow me to be imprisoned here on Earth or penalised?" Loki asked sharply, "Would that not be counterproductive? How often do you Midgardians imprison your war heroes?"

"War hero is a strong term for you, Loki."

"Regardless of your nit picking, my assistance should not go unheeded. I expect to be compensated with my freedom rather than a prison sentence. Should there be any reason for you to imprison me or send me back to Asgard as punishment, that will be a different matter entirely. But I expect that you will be sure to uphold our agreement and will see that I will be of value and not worth crossing."

Stark hesitated, observing him carefully, and then said slowly, "Assist us? How? And in exchange what do we get from you?"

"I will give you the Book of Ullr and myself as a tool for your utilisation."

Tony stilled in his chair and then sat up straight, swinging his legs down from the desktop and he stood, staring at Loki. "You're serious?"

"I am."

"You're going to...help us?"

Loki nodded slowly, "Yes."

"And all of this is because of her? Because of Raleigh?" Stark asked suspiciously. "No tricks?"

"No tricks, Stark," Loki shook his head, extending his hand. "Do we have a deal?"

Stark reached out, taking Loki's hand in his own and nodded, "I'll see what I can do. How's that?"

"Very well then," he said, shaking Stark's hand firmly. "And one last thing, Stark?"

"About Raleigh?"

"You'll protect her if Thanos and Amora invade. You will not put her up to task and you will ensure that she is kept back from the front lines. She is not to be put in harm's way or treated as a criminal, Stark. No matter what happens, you will make sure that she remains free and unscarred by the impending future."

Stark was silent, staring at him for a minute, "I'll try."

* * *

_Please Read and Review! It always cheers me considerably when I'm having a rotten day (or a good day for that matter)._

__**Amakitkat****:** Don't worry, you aren't going to have to see a drunk Loki or Loki with another girl again. Glad that the punch was priceless though! I was pretty excited to write that in there!  
**Ellize Avalon****:** I'm glad to hear that it might be your favourite thus far, thanks! :D  
**KMD88****:** I almost wrote that in, actually, but I decided after conferring with Kat that it would be better to not do that. I can't remember the exact reason that she said I ought to keep it as a phone trace, but there was a point to it. When I remember it, I'll tell you. :p And there's still a greater arc with Jenny, but that's not going to be complete for a little while yet. I'm really glad that the dynamic between all of them came off properly. I had a lot of fun writing it and the humour, like I said last night, was something I was really happy to get to write after all of the seriousness and drama throughout the last so many chapters. And yes, you always have that to look forward to. :p  
**Kearabee****:** Thank you! :3 And their dialogue is something that really takes a lot of practice, I think. I've seen some people roleplay and put really heavy Shakespearian influence on how they speak, like "Ye" or "Aye" and very archaic language. The dialogue is more formal and slightly more Shakespearian ("mewling quim" and such) but it's not that archaic. So it's a tough line to walk and there have been times where I'll catch myself and go "No, they wouldn't say it this way, I've got to go back." and I'll fix it. Awh, sorry. :(  
**NovaBacon****:** Thank you! :D


	23. Touching Down

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. Just OCs and obvious stuff.

_This would have been up earlier, but FF decided to be a cunt and log me out, thus deleting basically half of the stuff I'd typed. I'm currently screeching to my Beta about my rage over it not saving the doc._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Touching Down**

When I awoke, Loki was moving around the room briskly, throwing our things into two rucksacks and he ignored me as I rolled over, pushing myself up into a sitting position. Keeping the blankets pressed close to my chest, I stared at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, watching as he turned on his heel, stopping, as he moved to return to our closet.

"Packing," he said shortly. He turned back to the closet, heading over to it and pulled out several shirts which he carried over to our bags, throwing them in quickly. He looked up at me, catching how my brow furrowed and then he sighed, "Yes, Raleigh?"

"Why are we moving again?" I asked him. "And where are we going this time?"

"We're moving again because it's time to use the Book," he said simply, "and we'll be going to New York."

_New York?! Was he insane?_

I stared at him, "Excuse me?"

"New York," he repeated himself, glancing at me as he headed for my panty drawer. "The place where you were reared? Where you prattle on about incessantly?"

I was silent for a few moments, then managed to say, "Why?"

"Because I've made an arrangement."

"What do you mean you've made an arrangement?" I asked him slowly.

Loki let out an exasperated sigh and stopped, raking a hand through his hair, "Raleigh, now isn't the time."

"Now isn't the time?" I echoed, my voice growing louder. "When exactly _is_ the time?"

"It's not pertinent. Get up, go shower and get dressed. We'll talk more soon."

"Loki, no, tell me now."

He hesitated, then shook his head, "Please, Raleigh, just get dressed. We can discuss this shortly."

I stared at him, my brow furrowing, and then shook my head in disbelief, "I don't understand," I said to him, "we can't just leave and go to New York. S.H.I.E.L.D. will be all over you if we try to go to America."

"I know."

"You _know_?" I squeaked.

"Raleigh, please."

I stared at him and then reached out, snatching a pair of my panties and a bra from the pile in my rucksack, which I pulled on hurriedly. I got to my feet, tossing the blankets aside and then seized a light jumper from the arm of a small chair which I pulled over my head.

"Tell me what's going on," I said as I walked over to my dresser, pulling open a drawer to find a pair of blue jeans.

"Stark and I spoke again."

I rounded on him, dropping the pair of trousers I'd clutched in my hand, "You didn't hurt him did you?"

Loki's face pinched together in a scowl, "Don't tell me you're concerned, Raleigh, you punched him yesterday afternoon."

"I..." I shook my head, "I'm not concerned about _him_, I'm concerned about _you_. What did you do, Loki?"

He hesitated, then, "I agreed to assist the Avengers."

"You _WHAT?!" _I exclaimed. "Loki, what were you thinking? What are you doing? You said you didn't want to help them, I thought -"

"Raleigh," he hissed between his teeth, "_shut up_."

I fell silent, waiting instead for him to explain and watched as he slowly paced the room, rubbing his jaw wearily. Finally, he looked back at me and turned on his heel, making his way over to me. I remained where I stood, watching as he approached me and lifted my chin at him.

"Well?" I demanded.

"It's for your protection."

"My - my _what?!"_

"Your protection, is this a foreign concept to you suddenly?" he practically spat at me as he lost his temper. "I swore to you that I would ensure that you might be protected from Amora and Thanos, I've carried out my end of our bargain."

"But S.H.I.E.L.D. will arrest you, Loki. They'll throw you into a cell and you won't be able to do anything."

"I devised a wager with Stark that would allow us both to be free. Assuming that your planet is not destroyed in the coming months, we will both remain free regardless of Fury's personal bias."

I gaped at him, "But..." I stopped and shook my head. "You can't just not consult me about these things. I should have been put in the loop. You said that you'd treat me as a partner."

"Raleigh," Loki squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and then sighed heavily, "please, stop. This is difficult enough as it stands already. Please get dressed and find yourself something to eat. The Captain will escort us to the airport shortly and I've agreed to meet him at the tube station."

I watched, mouth agape, as he turned away from me and returned to the task of packing away our lives once more, preparing for us to move yet again. Disheartened, I picked up the pair of blue jeans, then pulled them on and left our bedroom in silence.

* * *

A short while later I stood with Loki in the Westminster underground station, his hand resting on my elbow as we waited patiently together. I shifted the rucksack that I'd slung from my shoulder and looked up at him, watching as his eyes scanned the crowd of people who were moving through the gates, swiping their Oysters or tickets before heading towards the trains that were running just below.

"I see him," I said as I returned my gaze to the doors. I pointed across the tube station towards the man that had just begun to make his way towards a gate, his brow furrowed as he slowly inserted the ticket into the mouth of the reader before the gate swung open, the ticket popping out of the next opening.

Loki nodded, his eyes searching the crowd still as Steve began to make his way towards us, checking his ticket again before he tucked it into the inner pocket of his leather jacket. The god frowned slightly and I glanced up at him.

"What are you looking for?" I asked him quietly.

"Spies," Loki replied in just as quiet a voice, "I have my doubts that we will be alone in our journey to New York and would like to know how many we will be dealing with."

"Right," I nodded and smiled at Steve as he neared. "Is it just you?" I asked him.

Loki hissed beside me and I ignored him. He hadn't thought of me as a partner or confided in me, there was no reason for me to give him the courtesy as far as I was concerned.

"Yep," Steve nodded as he stopped a few feet away from us. He gestured to our bags, "Is that all you've got?"

"Yeah," I replied, continuing on, "have you taken the Tube before?"

"No," he shook his head, "but I have the directions. We're supposed to transfer from here to the Piccadilly line and then to Terminal 1 at Heathrow. We're flying with U.S. Airways."

I grimaced involuntarily and Loki frowned at me, "Is that bad?" he asked, looking between Steve and I.

"They're not bad," I said, hedging my words carefully, "I just prefer British Airways."

"Well, you've got this instead," Steve said, "and you know the way, don't you?"

"I do," I nodded. "We'll transfer at South Ken and we can ride it out to the Terminal from there. Just need to take a Westbound train towards Richmond or Ealing from here."

Steve nodded, gesturing for me to lead the way and I shook Loki's hand off of my arm, turning on my heel, and then made my way towards the escalators that led to the Westbound platform below us.

Loki walked beside me, the air between us having grown cold with my warm reception of Steve. He was quiet and his hand once again rested possessively on my elbow as we reached the platform. He stood in silence for some time before he glanced at Steve, who flanked his opposite side.

"They didn't send you alone."

"You shouldn't flatter yourself, Loki," Steve replied, his voice calm, "You and I both know that you aren't about to try anything."

Loki fell silent again to my surprise, his pride clearly wounded by the deal he had made and the bite of Steve's words. His grip tightened on my arm as a train shot into the station, slowing as it headed towards the next tunnel before it halted in front of us. Steve glanced at me, gesturing to the train.

"Is that it?"

I nodded, "Yeah," I told him, "we can take that one."

Steve gestured to go ahead as the doors of the train opened and I headed forward, climbing aboard the train as Loki followed. His eyes darted around the car, his frown deepening as we sat down with the Avenger and I pulled my arm back again, uninterested in having any contact with him.

How was it that just eight hours earlier I'd been in his arms, falling asleep, and now I was being dragged away from my home, my friends, and told that, because of _me_, we were suddenly friendly with S.H.I.E.L.D.? He claimed it was for my protection but I knew him better than that. There was something more to his dealing with Tony and deciding to work with S.H.I.E.L.D. and that something more was not me. He'd been better with me, sure, but I wasn't thrilled and I wasn't about to be fooled. I certainly wasn't pleased with him.

I rested my the back of head on the window of the train car, mulling over the last few weeks in my head. Being in any sort of sexual relationship with him was wrong, I knew that, but Loki also didn't know how to express his feelings in a better way. At least when I went to bed and had him eager to please - or simply willing, since Loki was never eager to do _anything_ for me - I got some kind of emotion. It didn't help me personally, but then again, since returning from Paris over a month before, I had become rather adept at hiding my emotions.

_Therapy_, Jenny had argued with me after I'd told her everything. I needed _therapy_.

I had rolled my eyes at her and shrugged the suggestion off to her chagrin. The truth was that I was far too proud to go, even if the stress was becoming unbearable and the feelings I was bottling inside of myself were beginning to tax upon me. I couldn't sleep a full night any longer, though Loki didn't have a clue. He slept through the night normally, peaceful, which allowed me to sit and read what he'd found in the Book with a cup of tea in silence.

I couldn't open myself up to Loki, I'd cried on him enough as it was. The entire week after the chitauri's attack in Paris had consisted of me crying at random intervals and laying in his arms before I realised that giving him attention sexually would get a better response than anything else. I already wasn't pulling my weight and continuing to snivel would only annoy him in the long run. In truth though, I didn't want the sexual relationship with him. I wanted nothing to do with sex and even when I did, I would have been just as content by myself. But it was the only way to get Loki to open up on any level, to be more than possessive and domineering. It was calculated, a move to get him to be emotional, to give me the little bit of relief that I needed. That was all, and, to my own credit, it'd worked.

"Do you have the Book in that bag?" Steve asked, pointing to Loki's rucksack. I blinked, shaken from my thoughts and realised that we were approaching Ken; Steve flicked his gaze to me for a second and I shook my head at him. I didn't have the Book, I never had the Book. I wasn't important enough to carry it though Loki wasn't about to say it. He seemed to think I was too delicate for even his blatant insults.

Loki shifted his gaze to the Captain, smirking, and then looked away.

"I want you to give it to me before we transfer lines," Steve continued, "if you run, I want to have the Book. Consider it an insurance policy."

Loki looked at him again, "You don't trust me, Captain?"

Steve smiled at him, though it wasn't a friendly grin, "You're still a threat. I'm not interested in failing to complete an assignment because of that."

"Your conviction is quite admirable, though I'm afraid that your doubt is clouding your judgment. You have nothing to fear from me."

"I may not, but the people of New York and around the world have plenty to fear from you still."

"And you like to keep them safe, how noble of you."

"You offered this to keep a human safe," Steve said, lowering his voice so only Loki and I could hear. He leaned close to Loki, his voice barely more than a whisper, "Don't try to tell me that we're so different, Loki. You're running scared for whatever reason and you want to keep her safe. One human or seven billion, it doesn't matter. But between you and me, if it were my choice, I'd eliminate the threat and put it all to rest."

Loki's jaw clenched. "Then I suppose that I am lucky to have politics on my side."

"I suppose that you are."

* * *

"I hate this," Loki muttered under his breath as the plane continued its ascent into the air. "Were you meant to fly you'd have been given wings."

"And if we weren't meant to make up for what we lack by our nature, we wouldn't have been gifted with the intellect to craft a plane," I returned stiffly, continuing to look out the window as the ground fell away.

"A tin can with an engine strapped to it is most certainly _not_ a stroke of human genius," Loki practically spat at me.

"Well, when you understand just how complex the engineering of a single jet engine is, we'll talk. Until you know just how many Newtons are necessary to make this physically possible and just how much work goes into this to keep it from falling, sit there and keep your seatbelt strapped like a good boy."

Steve snorted as I finished and I spared him a glance, catching the hint of a smile that he was attempting to hide behind his hand. Loki sighed in exasperation, shifting uncomfortably beside me.

"Asgardians would never think up something so imbecilic. Even that revolving wheel in London is better than this."

"The Eye is extremely well engineered and you know it. Stop talking."

"There's no need to get terse with me, Raleigh."

"Would you also like to criticise Velcro?" I asked him sourly.

"Perhaps, what is that exactly?"

I fell silent, ignoring him instead. It would figure that when I wasn't giving him what he wanted that he would be insufferable and pick at every little thing. It would also figure that he would save it for after going through security and sitting with other people at the gate when we had seven hours together for him to whine.

"My ears hurt," Loki muttered after a few more minutes. "Is this normal?"

"Yes," I replied, rolling my eyes. "The air pressure is changing. You're adjusting. Stop and relax, everything is fine."

"And when we plummet into the ocean and die, will everything be fine?"

"Would you shut up?" I said, turning to look at him now. "You'll scare someone if you keep talking like this and I really don't want to deal with an air marshal."

"I don't want to either," Steve said, sighing heavily. He picked up one of the in flight magazines and sifted through the pages curiously, wrinkling his nose at something before he continued on, settling himself down to read. "We've got about seven hours on here, better get comfortable, Loki."

"That's a rather large request for you, Captain," he said through gritted teeth. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the seat to rest it there.

I returned my attention to the window of the airplane, tuning out the announcement being made, and sat in silence. I was content with silence, apathetic towards talking. It wasn't like Steve would talk to either of us; he was business, not here for social niceties. Loki, on the other hand, was happy to talk but too busy being cynical and whining about every little thing to have a decent conversation with. Silence was far more welcome than dealing with Loki and how he was with flying.

I closed my eyes, resting my forehead on the wall of the plane, and settled myself down for what would certainly be a very long flight. And just as I did so, a baby began to cry. I could hear Loki exhale sharply beside me, his frustration only growing with each passing moment.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, Loki's hand rested on the inside of my leg.

"Raleigh," he muttered to me as I stirred, "we're landing."

"Right, okay," I nodded and then sighed, sitting up straight and blinked the sleep from my eyes as Loki pulled his hand away from its resting place, pushing his tray up. I wrinkled my nose as I remembered that he had complained almost the entire time we'd flown across the ocean, _especially_ about the food. It was a miracle that Steve didn't kill him for being an ingrate, I was beginning to think.

He looked over at me, frowning slightly as we began to descend at a sharper angle then closed his eyes again as the plane touched down, the cabin rattling as the wheels made their first contact with the tarmac. I could feel his hand as he brushed my arm, almost as though he were reaching to touch me once again before he pulled back.

"Don't bother getting up," Steve piped up as the plane taxied down the runway, heading towards the airbridge that was waiting. "We're staying here until the rest of the passengers get off."

"What happens after that?" I asked curiously, watching as Loki undid the buckle of his seatbelt, exhaling heavily. "Are we cleared to know?"

Steve glanced up at the people who were beginning to move their way down the aisle of the plane, "Well, ma'am," he said simply, "I was assigned to escort you from London to New York and to bring you to S.H.I.E.L.D. as I will shortly. Following the completion of my assignment, I can't say for certain what you'll be doing. I wasn't cleared to be privy to such information and I didn't ask."

Loki sighed heavily, clearly just as annoyed by Steve's answer as I was and looked down his nose at me, "I can assure you that what comes next is not to be enjoyed. S.H.I.E.L.D. is very good at bureaucracy contrary to what the Captain might like you to believe."

I glanced out the window again, noting that there was a black car waiting on the tarmac. Brow furrowing, I looked over my shoulder at Steve who was still sitting in his seat, watching as the last few people walked past, heading towards the jetway. When they had finally left, a flight attendant walked down the aisle towards our seats.

"Captain Rogers?" he asked, extending a hand.

Steve stood, taking the man's hand. "Agent."

"I told you," Loki muttered to me before he looked back at the two men who were conversing quietly. Steve glanced down at the two of us as he stood, passing the Book to the agent, and then looked back at us as the attendant left us.

"They're removing the jetway and going to bring around a set of stairs. We'll take the car directly to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters from here, bringing you through customs isn't going to be a good idea since Homeland Security has you on their list of terror suspects, Loki."

Loki smiled, almost as if pleased with himself and I set my jaw, trying very hard not to remember - as I did so often - the statistics that Tony had spouted off upon our meeting and what I had read about him. The New York I was expecting was not going to be the New York I was about to see, I knew that. It'd been almost a year and there still were areas of the city that were nothing but rubble. _Just as bad as 9/11, if not worse_, a voice in my head reminded me.

"What happens after that?" I asked Steve, "Do you leave?"

He nodded, "You'll be processed and meet with Director Fury briefly. We don't expect to really discuss things for a few days though, given the amount of information we're anticipating debriefing from you."

Loki's jaw clenched as Steve finished speaking, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he turned to look at me when Steve walked away.

"You're angry with me."

"Am I supposed to be happy with you?" I asked him, frowning deeply.

"No, but I would expect you might be appreciative of what I've sacrificed."

I scowled at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He turned to face me more fully, scowling in return, "Raleigh, you may be delicate, but surely you're not this stupid," he muttered to me, his eyes darting around the cabin of the aircraft. He arched a curious eyebrow at me, waiting for me to reply.

"Loki, just in case you've forgotten, sacrifice isn't really your cup of tea."

"Maybe so, but as the Captain said, whether I'm working to save one ruddy Midgardian or seven billion of you, he and I are presently working for the same cause. Surely your heart sings at the idea of such goodness."

I flushed angrily, catching the hint of mocking in his voice and then stood, grabbing my rucksack from the overhead bin and shoved my way past him when he attempted to block me from leaving him. I rounded when he seized my arm, hissing at him, "You're a selfish prat, don't you dare try to tell me that you did this for me or anyone else! You did it for yourself just like you do everything!" I wrenched my arm back from him, continuing on in a hushed voice, "I'm not delicate, either, you just think you know everything about me!"

Loki opened his mouth to argue but then closed it, pursing his lips at me as his eyes narrowed. He leaned close, gripping my elbow again, and tugged me close to himself, whispering in my ear, "You will tell them nothing about my desires and you will tell them nothing of our relationship. Incriminate me in anything and I will kill you myself. Amora and Thanos will have no chance of even touching a hair on your head."

I jerked away quickly, snarling at him, "Don't touch me."

"You really want to pretend that it's not something that you desire?" he asked me, frowning.

"If I really wanted you, I'd sleep with you," I shot back before I could stop myself. "As it happens, I don't want a selfish, mean, horrible Asgardian or whatever you are! If anything, I need a friend, someone that's actually willing to listen and be emotional; not a psychopathic murderer who has a hissy fit anytime things don't go his way and abuses anyone he sees fit."

He paled at the words and I stepped back, realising that I'd touched a nerve. This wouldn't end well.

"Where is all this ire coming from?" he asked me lowly.

"Where do you think?" I asked, voice shaking. "I've been with you for six months. I've been emotionally abused, physically abused, and you constantly play you're stupid mind games to make me think that you care even a little bit but you don't! This was a calculated move on your part just like everything else always is! You're just mad because every time you make a plan, you can't count for what I'll do because I'm some _stupid _Midgardian that ruins everything with my _perverse_ sense of justice."

He seemed to be wrestling with himself and so I carried on, deciding to finish what I'd started. "Just because I'm a good person and just because I'm not like you doesn't give you the right to mock me or use it as leverage. You don't care about me or any other Midgardians, so don't pretend to now. You disrespect me and you insult me, the only way I've ever gotten anything from you is when I do what you want. I'm _done_."

Before he could respond, I rounded on my heel, storming down the aisle to where Steve had appeared, shoved past him, and moved for the stairs to head to JFK's tarmac. I'd met Loki just a few months before I was due to go home to New York and now, several months later, I'd arrived. This wasn't the homecoming I'd anticipated, this wasn't how I'd expected to be received, and this certainly wasn't with whom I'd wanted to come back to New York with. I could try my damnedest to be selfish, to act like Loki, and while it worked for me to some extent, I would have been lying if I said that I was happy, that I wasn't on the verge of falling to pieces.

* * *

**A/N****:** Again, really sorry this wasn't up sooner. Between being horrible to me and deleting the file when I went to save it and being very busy offline, I've not had much time to write. Plus, I had a bit of block as to how to move this chapter along since I don't want to rush what comes next. Anyway, sorry again, hope you guys enjoyed it even if I kind of think of it as a filler piece. :)

And please read and review, I love it when I hear from you about everything. :3 I really do.

* * *

**Reviews****:**

**LsShinigamiRose****:** Thank you! I really appreciate that! And I'm endeavouring to when I've got the time. :)  
**DMMd****:** Thank you! And that means a lot to hear! :)  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** **(21)** Aw, sorry to give you feels like that. Is a bad habit of mine. :( Glad you enjoyed the chapter though! :) **(22)** I don't know if I'd call it denial, Loki's not particularly adept at his emotions to begin with, so I don't know if it's denial or a lack of realisation in general.  
**Kswaf****:** Glad you're caught up, but first things first, don't ever feel like you have to be wary about giving me criticism or apologise in any way! Please don't! It means so much to me when readers leave me comments and say that they really enjoyed something that I posted, but I appreciate when someone tells that I could do something better or differently more than anything. It's something that I really appreciate other people taking the time to do. :3 Anyway, to the point of the matter! I definitely understand your concern, it wasn't something I was really happy to do but I couldn't think of a good lead in for it at the time when writing it. In retrospect, I've got several ideas to build it up, but at the time I didn't so this is what came out of it. That said, I do have something for a couple chapters from now that explores exactly what you feel you're missing and from Loki's perspective. I'm really keen to share it because it really does touch on Loki's changing feelings in a much deeper way and on Raleigh's underlying insecurity. I wish it could've gone earlier, but it couldn't. :\ Thank you again though!  
**Amakitkat****:** Thank you! :D Glad to keep you excited and here's hoping I'll be keeping you on your toes. :)  
**Purplenurpl****:** **(21)** Ah, well, I know I said it before, but this was one of my favourite chapters to write because I got to really be humorous for a change and I'm glad that people responded to it really well because it was a really nice change up from the norm where it's drama and romance and angst and adventure with little humour. So I'm really glad that you enjoyed it as much as you did! And not throwing someone out of a window is definitely a good thing; I really agree. He's not a radical character, he's very static in some regards, but he's gradually becoming dynamic. Thanks as always! **(22)** Awesome! Thank you!  
**NovaBacon****:** **(20)** Thank you! **(22)** Thanks, and just curious but what seemed off to you about his thoughts pertaining to Loki's scarring? Was it just the order or was it something else? I read it over and it didn't flow perfectly (much to my chagrin). Genuinely curious though, so if you remember will you let me know when you next review?  
**KMD88****:** HA! HA! DO YOU FEEL SPOILT NOW?! :p And obviously it's going to go to plot advancement. Duh. :)  
**Ellize Avalon****:** When I'm not busy or suffering writer's block (like with this one) I write pretty fast, yeah! :) And just a bit of it! Thanks!  
**Poodle Warriors****:** **(21)** Thank you! Like I said before, being able to write humour was such a nice break and I really had a great time writing it through Thor in what I thought was a believable way. I mean, even I think less of the rest of the chapter and more of their exchange with Thor, Tony, and Steve. So I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :) **(22)** He'll definitely never be boyfriend of the year but I do think that he'll grow and change a bit. Thank you again!  
**Lucia Deetz****:** **(21)** It really makes me so happy to hear that you can imagine all of this. That's one of the best things I've heard so thank you very much! :D The smack was definitely well deserved, I reckon. **(22)** The please definitely pained him, I reckon, and your review made me giggle :) Thank you again!  
**XxLilyPopxX****:** Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! :)


	24. The Remarkable People, Part II

**Disclaimer****: **I don't own anything but the OCs and plot. The rest is licensed to Marvel and generously on loan as my playthings.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: The Remarkable People, Part II**

I followed the tall, burly S.H.I.E.L.D. agent from the interrogation room silently, rubbing my face wearily as I trailed after him down the long white hall. After three days of being debriefed, I was exhausted. Loki, of course, was positively chipper at being able to belittle Midgardians other than me and getting away with it. I, on the other hand, wanted nothing but to retire to the small room they had allotted to he and I on one of the lower floors and to sleep in bed for the next several days. Loki could answer all of my questions, I didn't want to answer anymore.

Half of them weren't pertinent anyway, so what sense was there in even asking them? I knew it was to know everything, to destroy any semblance of privacy that I had, but it didn't thrill me to know that S.H.I.E.L.D. was chomping at the bit to ask me highly personal and invasive questions.

"I thought I was supposed to go back to my quarters?" I said to the agent as he pressed the button for the elevator to instead rise from the interrogation level to the meeting rooms. I raised my eyebrows at him curiously.

"Director Fury has asked that you and Loki Laufeyson meet with him today prior to your retiring for the evening. Is that acceptable?"

I nodded at him as the elevator continued to rise, knowing that there really wasn't a choice in the matter for me. Agent Bernard was nice enough though, he'd been questioning me for the last few days and hadn't been an absolute ass as I'd anticipated. He was a tall, broadly built and well muscled middle-aged man with dark skin and steadily greying hair. Like the other agents who worked in the Manhattan headquarters for S.H.I.E.L.D., which was cleverly disguised as a pharmaceutical company and housed several GlaxoSmithKline offices and research labs on the floors above ground, he wore a business suit that was crisply pressed.

"Do you know what Fury wants?" I asked Bernard curiously.

He shook his head at me, then spared me a glance, "Even if I did, you know that I'm not cleared to discuss that with you."

I shrugged, "Just thought that it might change after you guys searched me and questioned me for several days until I was blue in the face. You know, a little bit of trust."

"If Loki were being more complicit, we might be able to give you more freedoms, but as it stands, he hasn't been and you know just as well as I do that your clearance is contingent upon him being just as cooperative as you have been."

"Yeah, well, I didn't ask for my clearance level to be based on what kind of mood the stupid ass is in."

"Not my job, not my problem," Agent Bernard replied to me with a small smile.

I scowled at him, but said nothing. It was true and I really couldn't argue with him over that. It was wrong to expect him to break his conduct in order to tell me anything, no matter how friendly he and I were with each other. It was the exact opposite of Loki's behaviour with his handlers; he had gone through one each day, each one progressively growing more and more agitated while Loki was gleeful about provoking each one.

I followed Agent Bernard from the elevator as it came to a halt and the doors opened, then trailed after him as he led me towards the board room. I strode into the room after him, taking a seat at the long black table in one of the empty chairs. The Avengers were there as usual, chatting quietly amongst themselves as I settled myself in for whatever the discussion would be. Fury had greeted us on the first day, but I couldn't think that it had been a worthwhile chat. He'd mostly threatened us if we attempted to do anything inappropriate or tried to harm anyone. I didn't see how it applied to me and I had a sneaking suspicion that it _didn't _apply to me, just Loki.

"Hello, Raleigh," Loki murmured to me as he sat down. He looked over his shoulder at his handler for the day, a blonde woman that had been much better put together and much happier looking when I'd first seen her that morning.

"What did you do to this one?" I asked him, frowning.

"Nothing," Loki replied innocently. He leaned back in his seat, smirking at his handler who immediately turned on her heel, storming out of the room as she clutched his file in her hands.

"Looks like you did something," I muttered to him.

"Nothing that she shouldn't have been prepared for," Loki replied. "They all act so surprised when I don't want to comply with their ridiculous questions."

"You agreed to come here, you're supposed to comply with all of their ridiculous questions," I muttered to him.

"That wasn't what I agreed to," Loki said, looking around the room at the Avengers with a wrinkled nose. He cleared his throat, "I thought I was going to be speaking to Fury."

"Director Fury will be here soon," Natasha said as she came through the door. Loki immediately tensed beside me, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the red haired woman. He hadn't told me why he disliked her, but I figured it had something to do with the attacks a year before. "Agent Cole said that you're still not complying?"

"I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be entertaining such mind numbingly stupid questions with my own valuable time."

I shot him a dirty look, kicking him beneath the table which earned a reproachful look from Loki. He patted my knee gently, resting his hand upon it, then looked back at Agent Romanoff who had folded her arms across her chest.

"If you want to get anywhere with this, you should probably answer the questions. It's your call," Natasha shrugged and before Loki could reply she'd turned to speak to Barton who was lounging at the far corner of the table, one of his legs propped up on the neighbouring chair.

Tony looked down at me from where he was speaking to a man that I'd come to assume was Dr. Bruce Banner and then returned to his conversation, chatting animatedly about nanoparticles. We'd mostly avoided each other since my arrival; I was happier that way, too.

The doors of the room opened again, Steve and Thor entering first followed by Fury. I'd met Fury briefly on our first night following being searched and giving my basic information to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that were assigned to process us. He was a tall, older man with dark skin and a stern face, upon which an eye patch masked his left eye. He'd been brusque, quickly informing us that we were being used as assets and that we would comply with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s demands to the best of our abilities, then he'd turned on his heel and left us.

Loki flicked his gaze towards the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., frowning deeply, "Agent Fury," he said coolly.

"Loki," the agent looked at me next, "Miss Alexander."

I gave him a half hearted smile in reply, hoping that it might suffice for speaking. I wasn't interested in speaking to Fury or anyone else at S.H.I.E.L.D. for that matter. I didn't know much about the Avengers or their own powers. I knew Tony, Steve, and Thor obviously, but I wasn't sure what Banner, Barton, or Natasha brought to the table. None of them had been particularly friendly to me either, it wasn't that I was expecting to be warmly welcomed into S.H.I.E.L.D., after all, I did work with Loki for over six months, but I hadn't expected to be completely ostracised by everyone and stuck with Loki solely.

"What business do you have with us today?" Loki asked curiously, sitting up in his seat.

"I'm going to make this quick," Fury said, pulling a large photograph out of his file folder. He crossed the room and set it down in front of Loki, "A woman that we believe to be Amora was sighted in Moscow late last night. Can you tell us if this is her?"

Loki leaned forward, his brow furrowing, and he pulled the photograph closer to himself, inspecting it curiously. A blonde woman in a long gown was captured in the photo, striding past the photographer with confidence and poise, her head held aloft. I peered over his shoulder, staring down at the woman and felt my stomach unsettle, uneasy, as I stared at her. She was stunning, her bright blonde hair fell down to the small of her back in large waves, an intricate braid adorning the crown of her head and fixed into place with flowers I'd never seen before. Her face was smooth, ivory, and her eyes a brilliant green colour. So _that _was an Asgardian woman. It was no wonder that Loki preferred them.

He pushed the photo away, pursing his lips and looked at Thor, "You couldn't have told him?"

Thor was quiet for a moment, "Loki, you have spoken to her far more recently than I have. I cannot be sure of anything given her inclinations."

Loki rolled his eyes, looking back at Fury, "That is Amora."

Fury immediately held the photo up, looking at it for a moment, and then extended it to Natasha who had made her way around the table, taking both the photograph and the file from Fury. After she'd exited the room, Fury looked back at Loki. "Why is she in Moscow?"

"I do not know," Loki murmured, shaking his head. "Her motivations are not mine to question. Besides, I am here and not capable of being in contact with she or Thanos, regardless of whether I choose to be."

"Contact her," Fury said tersely, "I want to know why she's on my planet."

Loki sighed exasperatedly, "She's looking for the Book of Ullr, which you have in your possession. Contacting her will only alert her to the location of the Book and endanger all of your agents. Do you wish to bring harm to New York again?"

Fury was silent, frowning deeply, then said, "If Amora is in Moscow, is it within reason for Thanos to be close behind?"

Loki shook his head, "Thanos will wait to appear. He wants to be absolutely certain that his presence will not result in his injury and he will only arrive on Earth when he is certain that he has the Book at his disposal and that there will be little chance of humans proving victorious."

Fury nodded, opening another file now, "What exactly is the purpose of the Book of Ullr?"

"It has multiple purposes," Loki replied flatly.

"You acquired it for personal reasons?"

"Yes," Loki nodded, "the Book holds powerful incantations that would allow me to achieve my full power once again. The All Father stripped me of my powers as punishment for harming your planet as I did, the Book would allow me to circumvent at least part of his punishment."

"And has it?"

Loki nodded again, "Yes."

"What would Amora and Thanos want it for?" Fury asked, leafing through the file as he spoke.

"There are dark incantations that would allow for them to seize control of Midgard. My failure a year ago upon Midgard has earned Thanos's scorn and this Book holds his proposed revenge upon your world."

"So you worked with Thanos?"

"Not willingly, but yes."

"And you're telling me that he wants the Book because it holds a magic spell that can destroy Earth?"

"I do believe that that is what I said, yes."

"Would he be capable of casting this spell?" Steve asked curiously from behind Fury. "Or would you or Amora do it?"

Loki scowled at him, spitting, "Amora would cast the incantation. Thanos is not a sorcerer."

"But would _you _be able to cast the spell?" Steve asked again.

Loki frowned deeply, then conceded through gritted teeth, "I would be able to, yes."

"Then why should we be certain that you didn't cast it already? That you didn't bring her here because you cast it?" Clint Barton asked from his corner.

The god beside me sighed, "Do you think I'd be here, listening to your conspiracies if I were assisting in destroying your world?" He looked at me, then back at Clint, "I'd have killed her, taken the Book, and found her myself and would be assisting her. I wouldn't be prattling on with a bunch of Midgardians."

I flushed indignantly at his words, shifting uncomfortably in my seat as the remaining Avengers looked at me, and wrung my hands in my lap. I didn't know anything about Amora, I was useless to this conversation.

"All right then," Fury said, closing his file. "if you're not helping Amora out yourself right now, then what do you think she's up to?"

"As I said, she's searching for the Book herself. It's very likely that she doesn't realise I've acquired it," Loki explained, "I have not been in contact with her in quite some time. I can't say for certain what it is that she desires upon your planet besides the Book."

"Were you supposed to retrieve it for her?" Banner ask quietly.

"No, I have acted for myself, Dr. Banner," Loki sighed, rubbing his face.

Fury set the file down, but kept a hand resting upon it, fixing Loki with a stern look, "What is the nature of your relationship with Amora?"

Thor shifted uncomfortably, giving Loki what I thought was an apologetic look, and Loki said calmly, "We were friends for many years. Not many Asgardians are gifted in magic as she and I are."

Fury frowned but then looked at Clint, "Agent Barton, find Agent Romanoff and relay this information to her. Have Agent Coulson start working on a press release to give the media. I want Amora found and captured by the end of the week at the latest."

Barton got to his feet quickly, then left the room without a word or a second glance at Loki and I. The room was silent as the door clicked shut and I shifted beside Loki, uncertain. This hadn't been what I'd expected. I'd expected to hear something better. Banner cleared his throat, saying quietly, "Well, if that will be it then I'm going to get going, too. I have a bit of research to do tonight so you'll have to excuse me."

"Thor and I will go down to find Agent Hill," Steve said, "I figure she needs to be briefed about Amora and that she'll know if there are any other security precautions we need to take on the building and our outposts."

Fury nodded, "You and Thor go do that. Dr. Banner, I want to speak to you later privately. You're welcome to leave though."

Banner nodded, getting up and followed Steve and Thor from the boardroom, leaving Loki and I with Fury and Tony, who was watching us suspiciously from his seat at the end of the table. Was that it? Were we free for the night?

Loki, as if sensing my apprehension, looked at Fury, "Will that be all?"

"No," Fury said, shaking his head, he looked at me, "Miss Alexander, Tony tells me that your father is an engineer in New York, is that true?"

I gaped at him, then nodded, saying thickly, "Well, yeah. He works for GE. Why?"

Fury nodded, "We contacted him last evening and he's currently on his way down to see you. Stark thought it might be good for you to get out for a night."

I stared at Fury with wide eyes, unsure of what to say to that. Part of me was horrified to know that my father was completely aware of what I had become involved in, another part of me was furious that Tony would have involved himself in my life this way, and still another part of me was excited at the very idea that my father was coming down to see me. I hadn't expected to see him while with S.H.I.E.L.D., I'd expected to be kept away from him instead.

Loki was silent beside me, his gaze locked on Tony, "Is this a ploy to garner trust?" he asked Fury, never looking away from Tony.

"No, Loki, this is a ploy to give your accomplice a break while your stupid ass goes through more questioning," Fury replied stiffly. He turned to look at the door and I quickly got to my feet, leaving Loki's side as the door opened and my father walked into the boardroom, escorted by Agent Bernard.

"Dad!" I moved for him quickly, rushing past Fury, and flung my arms around his neck as I hugged him tightly. I held tighter to him, relieved to feel him return my affection, hugging me just as tight. "I'm sorry," I mumbled into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," I said as I pulled away from him. "I tried to tell you but I didn't know how and I wish I did. I'm so sorry."

"Raleigh," he placed his hands on my shoulders, giving me a smile, "relax. We'll talk about it later."

I nodded quickly, smiling at him nervously. This felt so strange. Being with my own father had never been this strange before, but then again I'd never been a criminal before.

I stopped myself from speaking as I realised that Loki was still behind us and I turned to find that he was watching with wide eyes, his face ashen. He wasn't happy about this then. I slowly pulled back from my father, watching as he followed my gaze across the room to look at Loki, his eyes narrowing.

This wasn't good. Even if I was mildly annoyed with Loki for having gone behind my back to deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. and his subsequent toying with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, I still cared about him and wasn't about to let an argument begin."

"Dad," I placed a hand on his arm, "Dad, how are you?"

He looked down at me, smiling warmly, "I'm good, but will you do me a favour, darling? Go get changed. I wanted to take you out to dinner with your brother, catch up a bit."

I hesitated, looking between my father and Loki, but then nodded, "Yeah, of course," I said slowly. I hadn't missed the fact that he excluded Loki from the invitation; even if Fury had said they were going to question Loki more, it was unlike my father to ignore someone. It was completely different to how my mother had behaved. She'd loved Loki. My father, I could tell already, despised him.

Fury followed me as I left the room, "Be back at S.H.I.E.L.D. no later than half past midnight, Miss Alexander. We'll meet again in the morning and discuss the terms of our agreement."

"Of course," I told him, then I turned, heading in the opposite direction and down the long white hallway towards the elevator. This was progress, this I could live with. I just hoped that Loki didn't do anything stupid in the meantime.

* * *

He was quiet, watching as Raleigh's father waited for her to leave the room. He looked at Stark first, smiling at him with the same warmth he'd shown to Raleigh.

"Tony Stark!" he held his hand out and Loki watched in silence as Stark quickly rose to his feet, moving around the table to shake his hand vigorously. "I haven't seen you in years, when was the last time you worked with us?"

Stark shrugged, "You know, Bill, I don't know. I think it was around the time you guys launched Ecomagination. How's that going?"

"Oh, very well. Energy's where the money's at and you know that it's good for business. How's things over at Stark Towers? Anything new?"

"Ah," Stark shook his head, "there's not too much but we're starting to really look at bioengineering. I've been pitching it to the board and they're pretty interested in it actually. So GE's going good still, yeah?"

"Absolutely, you know, thank you for getting me in here; I owe you one. We're really gonna have to catch up sometime over drinks. Seeing you at the firefighter's benefit you host once a year just isn't enough to talk about business. Anyway, old sport, do you mind giving me a minute here?" He pointed down the table to where Loki sat, raising his eyebrows at Stark.

"I don't know about that, Bill, he's a bit unpredictable. You know his track record."

"Ah, when has that stopped me?" the taller man clapped Stark on the shoulder, "You remember that time when Stark Enterprises and GE did that bonding program together, don't you? That wilderness hike?"

Stark hesitated a few moments before he nodded, "You know, you're right but I'm not supposed to let you stay here alone with him because you're a regular citizen. Anyway, I just need to step out for a minute to get a glass of water and call Pepper. You'll be okay?"

"Oh, yeah, don't sweat it."

Loki was still, watching as Stark left the room, and then stared at Raleigh's father as he pulled off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. He wasn't particularly intimidating, however he did resemble Raleigh in some ways. They had the same nose, the same hair colour, however his jaw was slightly more squared and he didn't have the same eye colour. He was tall, though his age had given him some paunch; he was an average businessman, just like every other Midgardian man that he had dealt with on a regular basis.

"So," the Midgardian man said, sitting down in one of the chairs, "you're the terrorist."

Loki ground his teeth, it would figure that this man might know who he was. He was far more intelligent than her mother had been, she'd simply wanted to marry Raleigh off. "Terrorist is a strong word," Loki said, keeping his voice steady.

"Of course it is," the man smiled at him, folding his arms across his chest, "but I'm kind of partial to calling any psychopath that kills three of my best friends and a lot of innocent people a terrorist. I'm also partial to calling some asshole who thinks holding my daughter ransom and involving her in his mad schemes by blackmailing her with her own well being is a terrorist."

Loki smirked and despite his better judgment, raised his eyebrows as he asked, "And what do you call one that takes her to bed?"

"A fucking terrorist," the man replied, earning a quiet chuckle from Loki. He arched an eyebrow, the mannerism strikingly similar to Raleigh's own. "Do you find that funny?"

"I find anyone who attempts to intimidate me upon this planet to be amusing, you mustn't believe that I mean it offensively."

"That's a laugh." Raleigh's father crossed his legs, his eyes narrowing, and he then began to unbutton the cuffs of his shirt, rolling his sleeves as he spoke. "So what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"They aren't of your concern, though I do believe they are far better intended than Stark's."

He stopped, lifting his chin now, "What's Stark got to do with you terrorising my daughter?"

"Well," Loki replied, his voice innocent, "I wouldn't want you to be misinformed."

"I'm not misinformed," he shook his head, "don't you worry your little princely head about that. I was briefed all about your activities before I came here today. How's that whole Prince thing going, by the way? You still a Prince up there on Asgard or wherever it is?"

Loki's eyes narrowed, "Yes."

"Well, that's awfully nice, but you know, I do expect that you'll be making Raleigh there into a Princess if you're taking her to bed with you like you say you are."

Loki's jaw clenched, "My intentions with her are not of your concern."

"You know, I think that they are. When I get a call from Tony Stark and find out about some top secret organisation that I didn't even know existed, all because you decided to drag my little girl along and manipulate her, your intentions are definitely my concern."

Loki scoffed, "The entire point of a top secret organisation is for humble commoners like yourself to remain ignorant to its very existence."

"Well," the Midgardian man smiled again, "aren't you just a bushel of daisies? How on earth does Raleigh deal with that ego of yours?"

"I could tell you, but I'm afraid that it might tarnish your idea of her perpetual innocence."

"If it weren't for those cameras, I'd smack you myself."

Loki rolled his eyes, bored of the conversation already. "Your daughter is nearly twenty years old, she has sex and with whom is not at your discretion. She consented to a terrorist as you so readily call me and she's consented several times at that. Is there anything else that we need to discuss or have you finished your futile attempts to scare me away?"

"Listen here, you little smart ass," the Midgardian man leaned forward, "I love Raleigh, I don't care who she sleeps with because I figure she has good judgment, but it does piss me the hell off when it's a piss ant like you that enjoys taking out his frustrations on the people that she knows and loves. You might not love her, I don't even know if you care about her, but I do know that you at least got her here in one piece. You're a shithead and you clearly need your share of psychotherapy, and while Veronica probably worships at your feet and doesn't care that you're a mass murdering psychopath, I do. But I'll say thank you for getting her through the bad bits, though if I hear a single thing from her about you harming her tonight, I'll handle you myself and no amount of Asgardian hoopla will stop me."

"I'd like to see you try that," Loki said, smirking. "Though, you are welcome to. She's been loyal thus far and somewhat valuable."

"You really just can't compliment anyone, can you?"

Loki shrugged, rolling his eyes, "Does it matter?"

"If you really don't care about her, why haven't you just left her alone?" he asked curiously.

Loki was silent, staring at the man, and mulled over an answer in his head. He couldn't think of a proper answer himself any longer, arguing that it was to do with their deal was pointless. The truth was that he'd come to care, in some strange way, for the girl. She argued with him about it, calling him selfish, but he did, didn't he? He wouldn't have been here otherwise; he was here because he cared for Raleigh.

"I'll tell you something, though," the man carried on as though he had never asked Loki the question, "I really wish that you didn't choose her. She's too good to be brought into this, cares too much. And if I lose her because of you just like I lost my friends a year ago…." He trailed off, rubbing his chin, "I don't know. But I'm expecting a bit of decency from you, even if you're a terrorist."

Loki's brow furrowed but he remained quiet, waiting.

"And that means that you keep your mouth shut about what you do with my daughter. Is that understood?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," Loki said quietly. Though he was a Midgardian, Loki found himself respecting the man that sat at the end of the table. He was right, of course, Raleigh _was _too good to have been involved in this fight and now he was trying to save her from a death that he wasn't entirely certain he could prevent. He would try, not for her father but for her, just as he had promised to her.

"The name's William," the man said as he leaned back in his seat, "You're Loki, aren't you?"

"I am."

"All right, well, since I'm apparently not fully briefed on Stark and what he's been up to. What's he done with my daughter?"

Loki chuckled, leaning back in his seat and turned it to better face William where he sat. Raleigh had told him that he'd come from the south of the United States, he could see it now. Television had shown him that the southerners were more outspoken, brasher, and somewhat simple minded, yet this man wasn't simple minded in the least. Stark had been impressed with him and Stark was, to Loki's knowledge, considered a genius among men. Tarnishing Stark's reputation with William would be quite fun in that case.

"On the brighter side of things, he hasn't lain with her," Loki said, "though he did emotionally manipulate your daughter several months ago over lunches and at his private residence. She doesn't care to acknowledge it with me for reasons that should be obvious enough to you, but she was mildly intimate with Stark and he made no moves to stop her. I only know this because S.H.I.E.L.D. has attempted to use it as leverage in making me discuss my personal details with them, however I do feel that you may wish to know what your dear business partner has done."

William was quiet, "I should believe you?"

"If you so choose, yes, though I do encourage you to do so. I have no reason to lie. I could throw Stark out of a window if I wanted, why would I try to harm a business arrangement that he cherishes?"

"Because it's psychological torture?" William suggested.

Before Loki could reply, a smile curling his lips upward, the door opened and Stark entered again, Raleigh following after him. Loki sat up, straightening, and smiled in spite of himself. She'd worn a simple skirt and blouse, yet he hadn't seen her in either before this moment and he quickly allowed his eyes to rove over her, hungrily raking in the details.

She really did have moments where she was pretty, he mused, and this was one of them. He lifted his gaze to meet her own and got to his feet, staring down at her as she came towards him.

"Will you be all right?" she asked him quietly.

"I'll be fine," Loki murmured, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. He hesitated, then lowered his voice, "I'll wait up for you?"

She smiled slightly, nodding, "Yeah, if you want to. I might be late though."

He shrugged in reply, glancing up to see that William was watching them, his face stern. Stark was hovering between Raleigh and her father awkwardly, his eyes fixed upon Loki. Loki returned his gaze to Raleigh, "Your being late isn't my concern; I'll be waiting."

"Be safe," she whispered to him, "don't do anything stupid."

He smiled down at her, "I wouldn't dare. Have fun with your father." He pulled away from her, folding his hands behind his back, and watched as Raleigh's brow furrowed. Had she been expecting affection? Giving it now certainly wasn't what he'd been planning on doing.

"Loki," her voice was soft and she raised her eyebrows at him, "are you okay?"

He stopped, shaken from his thoughts and looked down at her, then pulled her close, leaving a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'm fine, behave yourself. S.H.I.E.L.D. won't be far from you," he whispered against her skin. "I will see you when you return."

She nodded slowly, pulling back from him, her brow furrowed, and he watched as she brushed past Stark, giving him a well deserved glare as she did so, and joined her father where he stood at the opposite end of the room.

"Ready?" William asked curiously.

"Yeah," Raleigh smiled up at him, "and you?"

"Yep, you head out ahead. I'll be right there." William turned, nudging Stark as Raleigh left the room. He looked at Loki as he spoke, his gaze pointed, trusting, "Hey, Tony, let's cancel on those drinks."

As William left the room, Tony turned to look back at Loki, who held up his hands, smirking. He shrugged at the man, his voice mocking, "Oops."

* * *

**A/N****: **_Hopefully this makes up for my relative silence over the last several days. :) I know that this wasn't much of a taste on the subject of the other Avengers and Fury but it's a start. There's plenty more to come. As always, please read and review. I really love to hear from my readers, both good and bad and it always makes my day!_

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**Reviews****:**

**KMD88****: **I thought that it would be pretty interesting given that the last time he flew he was "brainwashed" technically and I figure that a control freak like Loki naturally would be very opposed to putting his life in some Midgardian's hands and trusting them to get from Point A to Point B safely - in Midgardian technology at that. ;) And I'm glad that Raleigh did decide to stand up for herself at the end, it was nice. Oh shush, you and your Steve :p**  
****Fat Old Sun****: **Well, it's about time, I reckon.**  
****Purplenurpl****: **Thanks! *pats self on back* I appreciate it. :)**  
****Poodle Warriors****: **I know a lot of people who are jumpy about flying. I'm one of a few I know that really enjoys it actually. Funny how that happens! Thank you! :) **  
****Kearabee****: **Oh no, don't miss out on classes for me and my fan fic! I'm flattered, but I'd feel very guilty if you got a bad mark on account of me. I'm glad you liked it though :) And he did get put in his place and I think it's time for him to be faced with what Raleigh really thinks of him.**  
****Dontgotacluee88****: **Well, I can't answer that :( Would be a spoiler, I think. It's good that you're questioning it though. There's definitely something afoot but I'm not sure if anyone has caught onto it yet.**  
****Loki'sdreamer****: (1) **Thank you! You'll see soon enough, I reckon. :)**  
****Kswaf****: **Oh no, I'm hard to offend. I don't think I'm a perfect writer so I wouldn't be right to think that I have a reason to be offended or angry when someone says I could do better or change something. It happens and as a writer and artist, you're supposed to grow from criticisms. :) I think that even though it isn't noticeable in this chapter, Raleigh's words definitely impacted him because it makes him evaluate how she views him and if he's comfortable with that given how his feelings are steadily changing. There will be a lot more of Bruce, Natasha, and Clint in the next few chapters and it seems like Loki's motives are definitely being questioned now. I'm glad. :)

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_Last, but certainly not least, thanks to anyone who followed or favoured me or this story, too!_


	25. The Eve of Destruction

**Disclaimer****: **_I don't own anything. Just OCs and plot. You know, my usual disclaimer._

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**Chapter Twenty-Five: The Eve of Destruction**

"Are you angry with me?" I asked in a hushed voice. I looked over at my father as he continued to make his way through the New York traffic, heading towards the brownstone that we called home on the Upper East Side.

He glanced over at me, his brow furrowing, then looked away. He drove in silence for a few moments, and then he sighed, finally looking at me as we came to a halt in the midst of the late afternoon traffic. "I don't know what I am right now, Raleigh."

I nodded slowly, wringing my hands together as I folded them in my lap. I looked out the window and peered up at the skyscrapers for a few minutes, watching them in silence, mind racing. I knew that he wasn't happy, that he was upset with me, but I didn't know whether or not I was to anticipate him yelling at me for having been so stupid.

"You're an adult now," he began slowly, turning right onto another street, "I'm not going to be there to see that you make all the right choices. I've got to hope that you have the sense to choose the right thing, that your mother and I taught you well enough to differentiate between right and wrong. I have to hope that you are able to see who good and bad people are and that you're willing to stand by your principles when push comes to shove."

I looked at him, biting down on the inside of my cheek and he turned, staring at me, his blue eyes tired. I immediately opened my mouth, but he held his hand up, silencing me.

"I'm not finished yet," he said, shaking his head. He began driving again, continuing on. "I just never anticipated - I never thought - I never believed I'd have to hope you chose to do the right thing in a situation like this one, I guess. I don't think I ever believed I needed to prepare you for this, not that anyone should have to think that they need to raise their daughter to help save the planet from a bunch of aliens."

"Dad..." I began weakly.

"I'm not done, Raleigh," he again held his hand up, then said, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm scared." He looked at me, braking the car, then repeated himself, "I'm scared that you're not going to be okay. And that upsets me because I know that I can't be there to help you through this. You're old enough to choose your battles and I just sure as hell hope that you don't get hurt."

I shifted nervously, nodding in understanding. "Dad, I didn't realise, I swear."

"It doesn't matter that you realised anymore," he said quietly, "it just matters that you take care of yourself."

I nodded again, sinking a little lower in my seat, waiting for him to continue. He didn't however, instead he drove silently, the radio the only noise in the car as we continued along on our way to the only home I'd known for most of my life. I looked at him after a little while, noting that he was gripping the wheel tightly, a slight tic in his jaw.

"You don't like him," I said quietly, referring to Loki.

My father glanced at me, then looked back at the road, sighing deeply. He slowly relaxed his grip on the wheel and lifted one hand, rubbing his chin as he mulled over his thoughts, "I don't know if I like him, I don't trust him, but the way he looks at you is the way a man ought to."

I flushed, looking down at my hands as I once again wrung them in my lap and then shook my head. "That's not true," I said quietly, "he's been pretty terrible to me. He's just really good at acting the part."

"You can fake a lot of things, Raleigh," he said, looking at me, his face serious, "you can't fake that though. Not that look."

I hesitated, "You think so?"

He nodded, sighing heavily, "Not exactly what I had in mind for Prince Charming, you know, but he'd protect you if you needed it. That much I know for sure."

I fidgeted, smiling involuntarily as I turned to look out the window of the car again. It had been strangely nice, coming into the room and having seen Loki get to his feet, waiting for me, promising to stay awake until I had returned to him. Though I'd mostly put the argument I'd had with him on the plane behind us, I couldn't help but think that it had made some kind of impact upon him. He'd been quiet for most of the week when it was just he and I, asking strange things, such as my favourite colour, what I'd liked doing as a child, and what I thought of different Americans and entertainers that he read about in the newspaper.

It wasn't normal by Loki's standards, but I hadn't bothered to address it. He had been growing strange within the last month, almost like he was becoming attached to me. Even when I had been intimate with him, he'd been particularly gentle, not leaving me until I was finished or asleep. Perhaps my father was right, perhaps something had changed in how Loki looked at me.

"Tony Stark didn't try anything funny with you, did he?"

I whipped my head around, gaping at my father, "Excuse me?"

He gritted his teeth, "Loki..."

"Loki threw Tony out of a window last year, I wouldn't put much stock in what he has to say about Tony and I, Dad. It's insecurity talking."

"He said that S.H.I.E.L.D. briefed him on Stark being emotionally _intimate,_ as he put it, with you. Is that true?"

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond. Loki knew about everything then and yet he hadn't said a word to me, he'd simply come back to our rooms, casually milling about, reading the newspaper and chatting to me like nothing had happened. Yet he'd told my father about it. He hadn't said a word to me, but he had acknowledged it with my father in the few minutes they had spent by themselves.

I decided to tell the truth.

"Tony tricked me into giving him information on Loki and the Book of Ullr. We had lunch, talked about university a lot, and I went to his place one night after I had some drinks and then the night before news about Loki being in London broke on television."

"But did he try anything funny?" he asked me, "Tell me the truth, Raleigh."

"Nothing like sex," I said, shaking my head quickly, blushing as I added quietly, "I started it anyway. I just thought…. I was stupid, that's all."

He sighed deeply, "You weren't stupid, but I want to know if that happens again."

"It wouldn't," I said lowly. "It was just a ploy to get me to tell him stuff."

"I don't care what it was," he shook his head, "I'm your father and I work with him and I want to know if he's trying to manipulate you like that again. We're gonna have words."

"Dad -"

"No," he held his hand up, "Raleigh, there are some things that you don't do. That's one of them. I wouldn't mind if Loki threw him out a window again right now to tell you the truth."

"Well, it will be a miracle if Loki doesn't throw him out a window again."

"At least your boyfriend and I see eye to eye on that much."

I looked back at him, frowning, "Loki's not..." I trailed off, unwilling to say the words myself.

"He's your boyfriend. Your brother doesn't need to know you're some kind of human slave to a terrorist."

I laughed quietly, catching the teasing note to his reply, and then looked at him, deciding to test my luck. "What if he were?"

"What if what?"

"He were my boyfriend," I said, "or something like that."

"If he were your boyfriend or something like that," my father said slowly, "I don't think I'd be thrilled, in fact I reckon that I'll hate him because he's a smug, smarmy bastard and too cheeky for my liking."

I grinned looking away as I hid my smile behind my hand. It was just like Loki to pick at my father before being somewhat decent to him.

"But," my father continued, "like I said before, he looks at you right. And that matters more than him knowing just what buttons to push. I'd guess I'd have to say I'd approve of it."

I faltered, shocked, "Dad, he killed all those people. What about Dave and -"

My father shook his head as he pulled up to his brownstone, parking the car. "I know," he told me. He turned in his seat, placing one hand on the headrest of my seat as he stared down at me, clearly wrestling with himself, "I also know he loves you. And, Raleigh, if there's anything in this world - or these nine worlds like that other one, Thor, said there are - that's redemptive, it's love."

* * *

It was a miracle that he hadn't thrown Stark through a wall.

Loki sighed deeply at the thought of Stark as he walked through the door of his rooms, pulling off his jacket as he did so. He shut the door behind himself, latching it shut, and then tossed down his jacket, far too exhausted to bother hanging it up. He pulled off his shoes, setting them beneath the small table beside Raleigh's trainers and then straightened, heading for the refrigerator.

Stark had wasted no time in pushing whatever buttons he could, making subtle digs at Loki when they were alone and then in his subsequent questioning. He was bitter, not over Raleigh - it was never over Raleigh - he was simply bitter that he'd lost a business investment with William. He'd made it rather clear that Stark was making no progress and wasn't bothering him in the slightest, but the idea of finding the prick and putting his head through one of the metal tables was far too appealing.

How was it, Loki wondered as he pulled out a bottle of beer and a small box of leftover Chinese takeout, that Stark had no guilt for what he'd done to Raleigh? Was this guilt that he felt when he wronged her strictly his to bear? Was Stark somehow exempt from it? Was everyone?

He sighed and then kicked the door shut, making his way back to the small living area, whereupon he threw himself down on the sofa to watch the evening news. Not being a prisoner of S.H.I.E.L.D. was a welcome change, he at least was able to watch the news and read the paper as he'd grown accustomed to. He now understood at least some of their Midgardian politics, though he still had no idea what an Iraq was or what made oil such a talking point. He did, however, have a slight fondness for the King of the Americans, what did they call him? Mr. President, he believed it was. His ears were amusing, Loki often thought upon seeing photos and videos of him, which was mostly why Loki had found him entertaining though he was at least somewhat sensible for a Midgardian. Not entirely sensible, of course, but his ears made up for it.

Raleigh had teased him on a few occasions when she caught him watching the television interestedly. She had said that he was becoming a proper European socialist with his liking the politicians that he did, though he normally ignored her. Midgardians were boring and senseless for the most part. Their politics were petty, but they were entertaining to watch from afar, much like he thought a soap opera might be if her were an old Midgardian woman like the one from France. She'd had a small portable set that she stationed on the top of the check-in desk and played French dramas throughout the day until she retired for the night.

His stomach unsettled at the thought of France and he sighed heavily, shoving the thoughts of that stay away as he picked the television remote up, flicking through news channels.

Raleigh's father had been mildly sensible. Though he was far from admitting it, he'd begun to see why Raleigh defended them all so adamantly. Perhaps they weren't the most intelligent creatures, but they had heart and there were many different sorts that made up Midgard. That didn't make them intelligent and that certainly didn't make them _his _equal, but he would concede that they were at least, mostly, good. Thor would have had a field day if he had seen how acclimated Loki had become to Midgardian culture, how he behaved like a normal Midgardian man might rather than an Asgardian stuck upon the retched plot of dirt.

He snorted at the idea, picking up his chopsticks as he tossed the remote down, settling upon some Midgardian news channel where several Americans were arguing hotly. It was over him, coincidentally enough. He was quiet, listening for a few moments as they continued on with one another.

One, a man with a rat-like face, was saying, "- you have to take someone like this and put them away. You can't just be keeping them held up and then losing track of them."

"The people of New York deserve to know that this terrorist is locked up behind bars and awaiting execution. There shouldn't be a trial, there shouldn't be anything! They have him in custody, they ought to be sending him down to the chair as far as I'm concerned. Him and anyone that's worked with him!" A woman with neat blonde hair bickered.

"If he's offering any valuable information though, they should at least get that and then do away with him," a third woman said. "What I want to know is who would be willing to help someone like that? You have to hate America and hate the memory of all those people from around the world who died -"

Loki quickly flipped the channel away, setting down his takeout box as he sat forward. Resting the remote on the coffee table again, he buried his face in his hands, rubbing it wearily. Being holed up in New York was a constant reminder and it left him unsettled when he was alone for it brought back the memories of being a prisoner in his own body.

He'd felt so empty the entire time, nothing but raw rage had burned within him, pushing him on, leading him into combat against Thor and the Avengers. Murdering all of those Midgardians had never been his intention, he'd never intended to bring the havoc that had reigned upon New York.

Thanos had promised enlightenment, freedom, and while he had been freed from his feelings and his loyalties, he'd been emptied of any ethics and all the morals that he had within himself. All that he had been left with were the darkest feelings and deepest fears that he held, and they had pushed him on, burning within him the entire time.

When he'd slept - when he'd been able to - he'd had nothing but night terrors and woke screaming, wracked in agony. It had been maddening for he'd known what he was doing, he'd felt much like he did when he was very drunk: he could think one thing, yet what he said and did were the opposite. He may have thought, deep within himself where his true self had been locked away, that the idea of bringing the chitauri to Earth was a poor idea, but he had the physicist build the portal. The part of him that had been so full of hatred and spite had demanded it, ruled his body and had nearly driven him mad.

He regretted it. Even the slightest mention of it in his questionings had jolted him, sent fear through him. He could remember every agonising touch, every word, everything that he had done and felt during his time upon Midgard while under Thanos's control. It was shameful. He didn't care for Midgardians, it was true, and he still wasn't particularly fond of them, but he did regret his actions. He wished often, and bitterly, that he might have been able to fight off the control that Thanos had on his mind, that he could have again been himself, been able to fight alongside Thor perhaps instead of against him.

It was a foolish wish, for he knew that Thanos had preyed upon his insecurities. He understood that no amount of internal fighting would have been able to break the spell he'd been bound by and it wasn't as though he hadn't wished to best Thor. He had wanted to prove to the All Father that he was the better son, that he was truly worthy of the name Odinson, and that he alone was the rightful future King.

He straightened, leaning back on the sofa, and his brow furrowed together. He often wondered, for reasons unknown to him, what Raleigh had been doing when he'd last been upon Midgard, destroying New York as he had. He knew full well that she had been finishing her stint in college, Headington she'd said it was called once before when he'd asked her, that she had been far away from both he and the chitauri.

He still wondered what she'd done with her days, if she had been with another then, after all her last boyfriend had been with her during her time there Jenny had said once over dinner. He wondered if she had listened to the news and been struck with fear at the sight of him, disgust at what he had done. And there was a part of him, that despite his knowing better, often wondered what he might have done had they crossed paths then.

He would have killed her, his rational side argued. He knew that he would have killed her without a second thought and that he might never have thought for a second what it might be like to hold her at night when he awoke, jolted from sleep when he again revisited the Hell that he had gone through while under Thanos's control. Yet another part of him, the part of him that was overly fond of Raleigh, often imagined that she might have been able to break the hold that had been upon him. It was a stupid thought, one built upon the Midgardian films that were intended for children. She'd sat with him one evening, watching several from a man named Disney, telling him which were her favourites and why. He'd played his part, listening with mild interest as she told him though he made certain to mock her taste in films as being immature and silly. They'd ended the evening with one about some sort of frog Prince and he imagined that it was that film that brought upon his oddly romantic fantasy of Raleigh being able to bring him back to reality.

He rubbed his face again, pushing aside his thoughts, and he reached forward, picking up his Chinese food once more. Eating it, he mulled over his thoughts, over how she'd been growing comfortable with him again and how they casually prattled to one another about her life when he asked. He didn't know what made him ask the questions he did, but he found himself curious. He knew the impending war could rip her away from him in an instant, he was no fool. He should have been distancing himself from her, readying himself for the worst. Midgardians were like rag dolls. She would be ripped to pieces if she were left to fend for herself against the chitauri and Thanos. He was her only source of protection, the only thing that stood between her and certain death and even he wasn't sure that he could protect her as he'd promised.

He'd made the promise while planning to kill her upon acquiring the Book; he had never planned to honour his word to her. He had built her trust upon lies, humouring her and manipulating her while he planned to murder her when she'd assisted him in acquiring the Book. Then they had gone to France. He closed his eyes, dreading the memories that were sure to swim to the surface of his mind. France had truly changed everything he felt for her, everything he thought of her.

He had intended to carry out his plans, to acquire the Book and then to kill her when he was sure she couldn't be found. He had delighted in imagining how easy it would be to snap her neck and to toss her body into the river, leaving her for whatever waited for her beyond this life. She was annoying, petulant, and her constant defence of mortals and their goodness aggravated him in ways that he couldn't begin to explain. When the chitauri had come however, something inside of him had been terrified, had instantly changed to defending her, shielding her with his body and racing to her aid when she had been stupid and headstrong.

But upon lifting her into his arms, fleeing with her, he had again figured he could allow her to die, that he could at least return her to the apartment they had taken refuge in and let her die in bed peacefully. It wasn't as messy, his hands weren't dirtied with the trouble of murdering her, and he was rid of her. Her injuries were certainly enough to be considered mortal wounds, they weren't merely superfluous little cuts. He couldn't remember having seen such massive amounts of blood in years. There had been battles, yes, but he couldn't remember feeling the warmth of blood on his hands like he had that night.

Yet something in him had taken pity upon her when he'd carried her through the dark forest, listening to her cries, her shallow breaths, and he had set her down in a small clearing, beginning his work there in the darkness to save her. She'd been so cold to the touch, her breath shallow, barely noticeable, and he had been quick in setting to his work, desperate perhaps was the right word. She'd tried to protect some idiot man, risking her life for him, and he had been left to save her from what she'd received in turn.

When he had done the best he could in the darkness, he had lifted her into his arms again, willing himself away from the never ending maze of trees and shrubbery and had returned to the streets of Paris, Raleigh held tight in his arms as he raced through the dark alleyways, heading towards their hideaway.

His stomach flip-flopped as he thought of discovering his mistake, the impossible. He had sat, his hands covered with her blood and simply stared at her for what felt like ages when he'd finished. He had forced himself to carry on, to fix what he could with his magic and to dispose of what he could not. He had wanted to stop as soon as he understood, as soon as he realised what had transpired between them, but he had finished his work instead, healing her of her injuries.

He had longed to stop, to simply turn and leave her, fear consuming him at the idea that he had been wrong, that he could have impregnated a simple mortal girl. Princes didn't impregnate mortals, they weren't supposed to lie with them as he had. Yet he, the rejected son, the _Jotun, _had done so. He had planted his own seed within her and she might have brought such a monstrous creature into the world unwittingly; surely she would have died in the throes of labour, unable to birth it.

And then, when he had been hopeful that she might at least have known, have kept it from him - for he could have killed her for such a lie - she had denied him, had pleaded, genuinely fearful. So he had conceded the truth to her, his emotions raging within him as he did so, a whirlwind, and she had begun crying. She had cried over _him_. Over losing something of _his_. So he had held her, cradling her body against his own as she trembled and still when she eventually fell back to sleep, her head resting upon his shoulder.

He supposed that was when he had decided that he couldn't kill her, that there was something more to her than her nature. He also supposed that had been when he decided that it was best to protect her, that she would need it. What he had said was true: they would never stop until they had killed her. They wanted to kill all of the Midgardians, it wasn't a simple matter of Raleigh alone, but she held precedence over many for her involvement with Loki.

He didn't want to lose her, to be taken from her. Not now, not after everything that he had experienced with her. It felt so normal to be with her, to lie next to her at night and to feel her hand on his back when he was spooked awake, jerking upright, breathing heavily as he tried in vain to clear his head. He simply wanted to hold her, to protect her from what he knew was coming.

If Amora was in Moscow...

He pushed the thoughts aside, shaking his head. Dwelling on the past wasn't what he wanted to do just then, that could come later. No, he wanted to be sentimental when she returned, to try making her understand that he could offer her happiness, could bring her ecstasy. He mostly longed to touch her again in the hopes that if it was to be the final time that it might be a good memory for them both.

He had thought of this night for some time, dreaded it. It was the eve to the impending war, the war he knew would bring out all of his lies, all of his half-truths, and the war he was certain would end in the conquering of Midgard by Thanos and Amora. If this was to be their last night of peace together then he wanted nothing but to ensure that Raleigh understood, if not through his words then by his actions that he'd grown to care for her, grown to find her favourable.

Love, Thor fancied the word so readily and had asked on several occasions if that was what he felt for her. Love wasn't what he felt, but it was no longer simply lust. He didn't understand love, didn't know it. He admired her spirit, respected her mind, and he enjoyed the curves of her body, the way she felt beneath his hands. Love was too strong a word for someone as damaged as he was. He felt sentiment for her and he felt pity, for he knew that for despite his caring for her he had brought war to her planet. What made matters worse was that he had known.

* * *

"Wait. You finally got a boyfriend?" Ben raised his eyebrows at me in surprise from across the table, holding a forkful of spaghetti aloft. "You didn't update your Facebook."

I rolled my eyes at him, Facebook was the least of my concern these days. I'd completely forgotten about it. I gestured to his forkful of spaghetti instead, "Put your fork down, it's rude to hold it like that."

"You sound like mom when you say that," he retorted, eating it instead. After he had finished chewing his food, he looked at our father, "Did you meet him?"

"I did," he nodded.

"So he isn't imaginary?"

"Very funny," I muttered, spearing a piece of chicken with my fork. "What happened to that girlfriend mum said you had?"

Ben's face darkened instantly and he said quietly, "She dumped me."

"Tough break, her loss," I replied. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

He shook his head, "Not really. Is your boyfriend here with you?"

"He is," I nodded.

"Why isn't he here tonight?" Ben asked.

"You never wanted to meet any of my other boyfriends," I said, reaching to pick up my glass of water. "What's so special about this one?"

"Nothing, it's just weird that you left him alone in your hotel or whatever and didn't bring him. I thought Dad would want to grill him or something over dinner."

I laughed quietly, "Luke isn't really a people person. He was pretty tired anyway so Dad and I figured we'd just do a family dinner tonight. Maybe later this week."

Ben shrugged uninterestedly, not catching onto my lie. He had grown several inches since I had last seen him and now stood close to six foot with a lanky frame and dark, wavy hair that fell down over his ears. It truly amazed me that he was just sixteen.

"How's school?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"Boring," he complained. "Mom keeps telling me that I have to take summer courses but I don't want to."

"Does she want you to do the Brown session or the Yale session?"

"She said she wants me to go to Penn's to take a microbiology class or something. She sent me a brochure on it. I keep telling her I don't want to go though. I don't like science."

"Do the Brown session instead, take some literature courses," I told him. "Say you want to get ahead for your English courses next year that way you know some of the literature before you need to study it at Trinity. If you tell her that then she might let you do it. You like reading, after all."

"I guess," he mumbled, pushing his fork around his plate slowly. "I'm not good at medicine though and that's what she wants me to do. You're better at it. Frank taught you."

"You know what she's like," I reminded him gently, "she wants us to be a lawyer and a doctor. She just mixed up which one of us should be which."

"I don't want to do law either though," he replied, "I want to study art and work at a museum."

I flicked a quick glance at my father who shrugged at me, returning to his wine. Ben had inherited our mother's skill and had always been a superior artist, drawing from a very young age with impeccable skill. Our father had enrolled him in several courses over the years, helping him develop skills as a painter and sketch artist. It made sense that this was where he wanted to go, though I had never truly anticipated it.

He continued on glumly, "Mom wouldn't let me go near a museum though. She'd say it won't make enough money. And it's stupid because that's what she does, she got her degree in Art History."

"I know what she'd say, I've heard it all. Money doesn't mean as much if you're going to be miserable. Take me with law."

"Yeah, but you like science," he argued with me. "She won't hate you if you tell her you're quitting law to become a doctor. If I told her I wanted to restore nude artwork and stuff all day she'd freak out."

"You'd probably give her a stroke," my father quipped.

I snorted and Ben glared at us, looking back down at his food, "It's not funny."

I cleared my throat, "Just ask her to do the Brown sessions and say you're going to pick your classes on your own. If they're doing any art classes, just tell her that your lit course was full and that you didn't want her to waste the money so you signed up for art history or something. I did it that time when she tried sending me to Yale for economics and she's always liked you more than she's liked me."

Ben smirked, looking up at me, "That's true." I watched as my younger brother returned to his plate of spaghetti, then returned to my chicken, listening to his next question, "How long are you in New York for?"

"Not sure yet," I said, shrugging. "Depends on how long they need my boyfriend to consult."

"What does he do?"

"He's in uh," I hesitated, wracking my brain for a reasonable answer, "business."

"What kind?" Ben asked, raising his eyebrows at me. "Dad says you shouldn't date businessmen."

"Private enterprise," I told him quickly. "And Dad hasn't dated all the businessmen in the world. Why are you so curious about my boyfriend, Ben?"

"Well, I just don't get it, why are you here?"

"Hey, Benjamin, do you want dessert?" Dad interrupted, picking up the small menu that the waitress had left behind, "They have tiramisu."

"Oh, cool," he said, reaching for the menu. He scanned it over curiously and I looked up at my father, silently thanking him for having saved me the trouble of lying to Ben any more than I already had. He nodded in reply, pointing to the tiramisu, and Ben nodded. "I see it," he said. "They have gelato, too."

"I can see that, Benjamin," my father spared me a glance, rolling his eyes. It was comforting to see that this hadn't changed. Despite everything else that had happened in the last so many months, I could at least content myself in knowing that my family in New York was just the same as I had left it.

* * *

This had to be a joke.

I let out a small cry of frustration, striking at the door of the building once again before I rested my forehead against the cool glass.

It would figure that this would happen.

I had showed up barely five minutes after half til and I was locked out of S.H.I.E.L.D. with nowhere to go and no money on me to even hail a cab back to my father's brownstone to spend the night in my old bedroom. I didn't have a phone, a wallet, anything.

"Damn it!" I stepped back, rubbing my face wearily and looked up at the dark New York sky as I walked out from beneath the awning, folding my arms across my chest. It was cold and dark and I was alone on the street. I was asking for trouble and this time I didn't have anyone to stop me from being hurt...or worse.

"It's a little cold out here, isn't it?" someone said from behind me.

I turned quickly, surprised to find Dr. Banner standing outside of the building with his hands tucked into his coat. I hesitated for a moment, shocked to see him, and then nodded, "Yeah, freezing. I don't remember April like this."

"Cold spell," he told me with a small smile. "The weatherman said it should break by the end of the week but it's supposed to rain until this time of the following. It's a fair trade off, I guess."

"The rain doesn't bother me," I said, approaching him slowly. I gestured to the building, "I got locked out, what about you?"

"Well," he sighed, flashing a keycard at me, "it's in their best interest that they don't lock me out. They don't really like when I get angry."

I hesitated, brow furrowing as it finally clicked into place, "You're the big green guy?"

He laughed quietly, "Yeah, the other guy and I. I wouldn't say I'm him or he's me, but it's something like that, it's a little more complex."

I quickly shook my head at him, understanding that I may have touched a nerve with him, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise that it might be a sensitive subject. It's got to be really difficult."

Banner shrugged, "You get used to it. People, I mean. You never really get used to the other part, you just learn how to control it better."

I nodded, attempting to understand, and watched as he swiped his card in the security reader and the door clicked, unlocking. He pulled it open, motioning for me to go first and I did, bowing my head in gratitude.

"Thank you," I told him when he'd joined me in the lobby and began to walk with me towards the elevators. "Can I ask what you were doing?"

He sighed again, running a hand through his hair, "Nothing exciting, just a walk. It helps to clear my head sometimes if I go for a quick stroll around Central Park before bed."

I nodded, boarding the elevator with him, "Are you going to escort me down then?" I asked him curiously. "I know it's protocol. I'm not supposed to be in the halls by myself in case I'm some kind of counter intelligence officer or something like that."

Banner laughed quietly, "Yeah, I'll take you down to see you off since you don't have the clearance. It's better that I take you than one of the night guards anyway, they're pretty moody around this time."

I smiled ruefully, changing the subject, "So what kind of medicine did you study?"

He shook his head, "I don't really do medical practice or I didn't I should say. I was a physicist involved in gamma radiation. I accidentally took a gamma bomb one day in the lab and it mutated my DNA. Haven't been back since."

I nodded slowly, "Would that do anything to your mRNA?"

"Tony said you were a science whizz. It does, though. Since the mRNA copies DNA information, my RNA's altered as well. My nucleic acids are completely mutated because of the gamma radiation exposure. I should be dead, but I'm not. I'm this like hybrid of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde instead."

I smiled and then chewed on the inside of my cheek, wondering aloud, "There's no way to fix it?" Banner shook his head. "Does it cause any decay in your nucleic acids or something?"

"Your DNA doesn't decay that way," he told me gently. He led me from the elevator and out into the hallway that housed my quarters, continuing on, "So to answer your next question: no, I'm not going to die because I was exposed to the gamma radiation. It'll take hundreds, probably thousands of years really, before my DNA decays to the point you can't pull anything from it. And knowing S.H.I.E.L.D. they'll make sure that never happens and that they're studying me a good 2,000 years down the line still."

"Why won't you die from it though?" I asked him, ignoring his jab at S.H.I.E.L.D., "I just thought that it would build up or something and that it'd break down the acids."

Banner shook his head, "I thought about that for a little while, but if that were a serious risk I'd be dead by now or lying in bed with a bunch of tubes coming out of every orifice on my body, it really would depend on how S.H.I.E.L.D. is feeling, I guess."

"You don't like S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

He shrugged, rolling his eyes. "How are you supposed to like an organisation that tracks you around the world like you're the bad guy?" I smiled, slightly reassured by his words before I reminded myself of Tony and how easily I'd been fooled before. Banner looked down at me, "You and Loki..." he said slowly, "are you actually...?"

I shook my head at him. "I really don't know how to answer that. We get along. I care about him. He cares about me. Sometimes, I think. Anyway. I don't know what we are really. So no answer."

"I'm not asking for Fury," he explained, "I'm just curious. You're nicer than I expected you to be."

I snorted, "What made you think otherwise? Tony?"

"Tony will get over the punch. It isn't like Natasha hasn't taken a few good swings at him in training before. I just figured you might be..." He trailed off, stopping himself as he searched for the words that I already knew.

"More like Loki?" I suggested.

He looked at me, clearly surprised, then nodded slowly, "I didn't want to say it like that it sounds a bit harsh."

"But it's true," I replied, "everyone expects me to be like Loki because he hasn't killed me yet. I don't mind if people say it anymore. I'm probably a little bit more like him than I used to be after all this time."

Banner stared down at me, walking in silence for a few moments before he said quietly, "Tony said you wanted to change to medicine at King's?"

It was my turn to be surprised now and I looked up at him with wide eyes before I nodded at him. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, I'm friends someone that knows the head of the college, we've had dinner a few times in the past. A long time ago, but still, I could put in a good word for you if you wanted. I have a couple of friends left who are still in touch with her." When I didn't immediately reply, he added, "I'm not trying to make you a deal to turn on him or anything either. I'm just offering because you seem pretty bright."

I stopped, staring up at him as we came to stand before my door. How was I supposed to respond? I wanted to say yes, but then I thought of Tony and how he had betrayed me when I'd taken his promises and done what he asked. It had been a long time since a stranger had offered me anything like this, but Banner was standing there, looking just as sheepish and bookish as he had for the entire conversation. He seemed genuine, real, like he wasn't a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s vast array of chess pieces as Tony was.

Finally, I nodded, my voice timid as I said, "I...I'd really like that, Dr. Banner. Maybe. I mean, it's obviously contingent on a lot of stuff right now, but maybe, yeah."

Banner smiled down at me, "Well, it's not a problem. Anyway, you better get in there, the night guard will be patrolling down here soon and you don't need a report to be filed with Fury about breaking conduct."

"Thank you, Dr. Banner. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he told me as he grinned again and he turned on his heel, heading back down the hall towards the elevators.

* * *

**A/N****:** _I know I was on a roll and all, but there was a family emergency offline and that obviously takes precedence. So that may pop up again and prove to keep me from posting again this week, plus I fly back to London on Saturday. So a tad busy offline and thus am not making any promises, though I'll endeavour to be prompt._

_Anyway, as always, please read and review as I do enjoy it so much and appreciate it dearly._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**KMD88****:** Phew, I'm glad to hear that (read that?). Like I told you, I'm inept with that part since mine never did anything like that. Thanks again. :)  
**Kearabee****:** I'm actually really pleasantly surprised because it seems like everyone likes her dad so far. I was worried he might seem alienating or forced. I'm glad that he doesn't. And I reckon that he's owning up gradually.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Ah, that's coming very soon, I promise. :) And yay, I'm glad to hear it!  
**Guest****:** Woop! Woop! Thank you! :)  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Yay, Daddy Alexander is a hit. :)  
**Amakitkat****:** Don't worry, the lovey dovey chapter is coming.  
**Poodle Warriors****:** Thank you! I'm glad that he's been well received.  
**LuciaDeetz****:** Don't sweat late reviews, I know that real life can be a bother like that. :) **(23) **One of my best friends knows someone who had their landing gear malfunction coming back to the US from Germany and they had to go all the way up and over Greenland and Iceland before they landed in this tiny Halifax airport that you must've been at, too. It took like 17 hours total, not counting the time change, for them to get from Berlin to New York and they got packets of peanuts and an extra sandwich as an apology from the crew. So I feel like I'm one of the few people that really likes to fly with all of these stories I hear. **(24) **Thank you! And yes, her Dad is someone I've been really keen to write and the opportunity finally presented itself which made me very happy. :)  
**Sparkle2627****:** Oh wow, thank you so much! I'm really glad to hear that you like it so much and especially that I've done well with the characters and developing them. I always worry about that. And I don't mind your asking, I'm nineteen. Do you mind my asking why you were curious? You can PM me or something if it's not to be put in a review or anything. Thank you again! :D


	26. A Final Memory

**Disclaimer****:** _I own nothing. That sort of thing, you know it by now don't you? _

_Also:_ **NSFW Chapter**_, you've been warned._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: A Final Memory**

He looked up from his newspaper as Raleigh shut their door, watching in silence as she pulled off her coat and hung it upon a hook before she did the same with his own. She wearily rubbed her face and began to unknot the scarf that was around her neck, her eyes tired. She was exhausted, she'd barely slept since arriving in New York.

He hadn't anticipated S.H.I.E.L.D. bringing her father into the fray, that had been a sly move on Fury's part and one that he resented if only for how it had impacted Raleigh. She'd been happy, but it was a move to guilt her. At least her father was a decent man, that much he could say for certain. Surely she'd had a good evening.

It would be over soon, he hoped. Soon enough her stressors would be put to rest and she would be at peace, safe.

He watched as she walked first to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water, and then to the sofa, which she laid down upon, her face pinching slightly as she did so.

"Are you feeling all right?" he asked her quietly.

She looked up at him, "Yeah, just sore. Went for a run the last few mornings and then haven't really been sleeping. I just feel stiff."

He nodded, watching as she crossed her legs upon propping them up and sighed quietly before he returned his attention to his newspaper. Despite his attempts to continue reading about some Midgardian named Boehner arguing with Obama over money, he found his thoughts drifting back to Raleigh as she lounged on the sofa.

He folded his paper in half, surreptitiously peeking over it to look at her as he continued his act. She wasn't sleeping, her eyes were half open, glassy, and she was staring at the ceiling with a bored expression. He wasn't used to not touching her for so long. She'd allowed it for the last several weeks and suddenly had wrenched it back from him when he'd elected to deal with Stark privately. She was angry about it, but being petty and withholding her affections was childish.

At least they were speaking, he reminded himself.

Raleigh blinked, glancing at him suddenly and he quickly dropped his gaze to the paper, well aware of her eyes as they continued to rest upon him where he sat. Had she caught him then?

She sighed, abruptly dropping one of her legs off of the sofa's cushions and then returned her gaze to the ceiling. Again, Loki cast his gaze over the newspaper, staring at her. She had no real reason to be angry with him, he'd been acting in her best interest after all. She'd asked for his protection, she'd wanted him to protect her, and this was his ensuring that she would be regardless of his future plans.

He ran his eyes over her body, staring at her bare legs for a moment, desire stirring within him as he did so. She rarely wore skirts, perhaps it was the spring weather in New York or the fact that she'd been allowed out to have dinner with her father and brother, but the one that she currently wore hugged the lower half of her body well.

He lifted his gaze, feeling her eyes upon him again, and smiled crookedly, "Yes?"

"What are you staring at?" she asked him quietly.

"You," he replied simply, resting the newspaper in his lap. He could see a smile ghost upon her lips before vanishing, her brow furrowing, and he braced himself for the next question but to his surprise it never came. Instead they simply held one another's gaze, eyes locked on one another, her thoughts lost to him as his own raced around with what he might like to do if she gave him the opportunity.

As much as he wanted for it, he knew just as well that she wasn't about to allow him to have his way. What he had in mind for her would suffice, however, and he wouldn't complain, though he was loathe to think that he wouldn't feel her lips upon him again.

"Sit up," he murmured before he could stop himself.

She raised her eyebrows at him questioningly, "Sorry?"

"Sit up," he repeated himself now, slightly louder, and got to his feet, tossing his newspaper down onto the small coffee table. When Raleigh had, he sat behind her, no longer thinking, and carefully placed his hands upon her shoulders before he began to massage her back gently. "Is this all right?" he asked her quietly.

She nodded, sighing softly, relaxing under his touch, and he added pressure beneath his thumbs, feeling the tension in her muscles as he slowly began to work through the knots binding her shoulders. She was so small though, so slight, he could've easily snapped her back this way if he wanted to, killed her as he'd wanted to for so long, yet he carried on. He slowly moved his hands down her back as he kneaded her tightened muscles and minded himself to remain gentle with her, to avoid using too much of his strength.

Raleigh leaned back against him as his hands came to rest upon her hips, relaxing, and she reached up, her fingers tracing over the hollow of his cheek before she turned her head, lifting her chin expectantly. It was more than permission, it was a request, and he happily complied, bowing his head to kiss her deeply. Despite his eagerness however, he forced himself to move slowly, gradually deepening their kiss, maintaining a slow pace before he lifted a hand, toying with a button on her blouse.

She nipped his lower lip between her teeth gently, playful, and he chuckled quietly, his thumb sliding the button undone before he moved lower, undoing the next several. He quickly slipped his hand beneath her blouse, his free hand now resting on the back of her head, keeping her mouth to his own as he fondled her gently. He slid his hand beneath the cup of her bra, grazing her hardened nipple with his thumb as he cupped her breast in his hand, groping her.

"Loki," she murmured softly against his lips, attempting to turn in his arms.

"Slow," he whispered to her, "I want to enjoy this."

That was a lie. He didn't want to enjoy this nearly as much as he wanted her to. If she wouldn't allow him to rut with her, to prove to her that he might be able to handle her gently and to bring her to new heights, then he at least wanted to end this properly. This was far more about her than him now, his pleasure was in feeling her breath hitch as he touched her, feeling her sigh against his lips and then her quiet moans as he broke their kiss, instead pressing his lips to her throat to gently bite at the skin.

Her hand rested on his thigh and her fingers tightened on his leg as he began to fondle her with a little more force. He rested his free hand on the inside of her own leg, carefully sliding his hand over the smooth flesh of the inside of her thigh, sliding beneath her skirt as he pushed it upwards. She again attempted to turn, likely to try straddling him as he so enjoyed, and he again stopped her, instead pushing her back, pulling her around swiftly.

He hesitated, staring into her eyes as she stopped squirming in his grasp, her eyes wide as she looked up at him. She was scared. The last time he had been atop her this way he had left her and the time before that she had rutted with him. He pulled his hands away from her body, watching as fear flooded her eyes when he sat up and he then began to unbutton his shirt, watching as she stared at him, practically quivering on the sofa.

He'd had this effect upon her, he'd left her wanting, left her so scared, and it brought him nothing. All those times he had begun to take what he claimed as his before he shoved her away, his affection quickly turning into bitter mocking, into rejection had left her scared that he'd do so once again, that he'd leave just as quickly as he'd come to her. He'd expected that it might give him pleasure, to know that he scared her, that he could hurt her with intimacy, but the idea now revolted him. He didn't want to leave her, he wanted to stay with her, to show her all that he was capable of offering her. There wasn't nearly enough time though and he was instead left to make due with this night.

He tossed his shirt to the ground, then crawled over her again, kissing her slowly once more. He pulled one of her legs up, his hand resting upon her naked thigh and he slowly slid his hand upwards, feeling her hesitations as he touched her. Even her kiss was different now, for on her back she kissed timidly, unsure of herself, and her hands remained at her sides.

_Keep your hands to yourself_, he could remember having hissed at her when he'd fucked her. She remembered it then. It made him burn with shame to know that he'd barred himself from having her touch him, that he'd forbid her from it and been rough when she'd acted out of affection.

"I want you to touch me," he whispered to her as he broke their kiss. He kept his voice soft for he wanted to be sure that she remembered this differently than any other time they had been intimate with one another. He again claimed her lips and he could feel her hands slowly move over his bare torso, gentle, and he pulled back from her mouth, relieved to feel one of her hands on his shoulder as he bowed his head to kiss her throat once more.

He muttered a spell under his breath as he moved over her throat with his lips, banishing her clothing and her gasp and subsequent squirming made him laugh in delight against her bare skin.

"Loki!" she whispered, fretful, "My clothes ‑ S.H.I.E.L.D. will -"

Peeking at her from beneath his lashes as he reached her breasts, he arched an eyebrow at her, "They're on our bed. Did you not think me capable of such trickery?" he asked her, his voice still gentle. He hadn't spoken of S.H.I.E.L.D. for he knew that she understood his unspoken promise, that this was solely to remain between them and that no one else would know of their embraces.

She merely smiled in reply, relaxing in his arms, her fingers knotting in his hair, and he quickly returned to kissing over her breasts, fondling each in turn when his mouth was occupied with the other. Within his trousers, he was aching and the idea of simply throwing his plans for the evening out the window were becoming more tempting as she let out a soft, pleasured noise that he'd not yet heard before.

He shifted, not wanting to tempt himself any further, and slid from the sofa to the floor where he knelt. Raleigh immediately began to sit up when he quickly lifted her left leg, resting it over his shoulder. She stopped, understanding, and then sat back with wide eyes. He returned his attention to the task set before him, gently kissing the inside of her leg as he stroked her thigh with his fingertips. He turned his head, pressing his lips to the smooth flesh, starting at the inside of her knee and then gradually moved up to her inner thigh, his breath growing ragged as he did so.

It felt childish to admit to her that he had never done this previously, that this was a distinct honour that was to be strictly hers. In all his years he had never so much as considered this, merely taken it when it was offered to him without a single thought of returning it; Princes of Asgard knelt for no one he had always thought. Yet he found himself fearing that she might laugh of all things if he tried to tell her, that she'd scoff at him, perhaps think him too sentimental. He was already too sentimental for even putting himself in this position, for even wanting to make her final memories of him in private to be good.

He hesitated as he reached her sex, the smell of her desire catching him off guard. He breathed against her slowly, attempting to remember what he'd read and the porn that he'd watched in private when she'd been gone. They'd all said to wait when it came to her clit, to save teasing that for last with mild attention paid until she was near climax, and so he leaned close, his tongue darting out from between his lips and licked upwards slowly, relieved to find that she didn't taste as badly as he had anticipated in his fears.

He carried out the action again before carefully sliding his tongue between the lips of her sex, listening as she sighed softly, gently smoothing his hair. He returned to her outer lips as he pulled her in closer to himself as he began to relax. He took one of her lips into his mouth, gently sucking on it, teasing with his tongue and he could feel her muscles tense, pleasured. He moved to the other, carrying out the same action now, and looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers as she reached out, her fingers knotting in his hair.

Encouraged, he thrust his tongue into her sex, tasting her again, and repeated the act several times before he moved for her clit, gently flicking it with the tip of his tongue and circling it. Raleigh tugged at his hair, mewling quietly, and he again returned to her lips, stroking the inner walls with his tongue as he slid his pointer finger into her heat, curling his finger as he sought out what the men's magazine had called a g-spot. He continued to move his finger in time, thrusting it slowly, mindful of her, and he smiled slightly as he became more fully aware of her soft moans.

He returned to her clit, enjoying himself now, and then began his dance again, shifting to better access her. He was glad to do this with her, to share this together. He wanted so terribly to tell her that he loved her, to try to convince himself of the idea, but he couldn't. At least he could offer her this whereas he couldn't offer her love. And so he continued on, giving her pleasure without respite, his expectations gone, and he rutted her with his tongue, his confidence improving with every whimper and every tug she gave his hair.

This would be what she remembered, he prayed, these moments where he knelt before her, his tongue attempting in vain to do what he longed to with his cock, his mouth on her swollen clit, his fingers within her, teasing her. He prayed that she might remember this rather than the last time he had had her upon a sofa, that her fears might be quelled and she might understand that while he couldn't offer her everything, he held pleasure for her, that while he was incapable of love, he longed to please her, to make her feel safe in his grasp.

"Loki," she gasped, her hands tightening in his hair, and he turned his full attention now to her clit, his eyes locked on her face as he began teasing it, kissing and swirling circles around it with his tongue, flicking it. He increased his speed, holding her a little tighter and pressed his face closer, still thrusting his finger within her, knowing that he was getting closer to her climax as he continued to rub at the rough wall of her sex, curling his finger within her.

She shuddered, her muscles tensing and she groaned, her back arching, however she didn't yet come for him and so he tried harder, moving and doing everything he could think of until she was mewling regularly. He tried again after pulling her in closer, angling her body differently, burying his face against her and he returned to her clit with his mouth. He teased her gently and massaged the inside of her sex in the ways he knew she liked.

Raleigh panted, her fingers pulling on his hair again, and he watched as she closed her eyes, her head dropping onto the back of the sofa, her lips parted as she moaned, pleasured. He watched her, enthralled, pleased with himself, and was surprised when the muscles of her body suddenly locked up and, without warning, she cried out, her orgasm washing over her and emptying into his mouth. She was oddly satisfying, her juices sweet on his tongue, and her fingernails scratched gently at his scalp, massaging it as she unwound in his arms. He held her still, gradually slowing his movements as she calmed before he finally pulled back from her, resting upon the backs of his heels as he hovered between her legs and stared at her.

What was he to say?

She stared at him, silent, her chest rising and falling in time, her breathing deep and her eyes wide. She was speechless. He'd rendered the little mortal speechless - and it was damned near impossible leave Raleigh speechless, he had found - and shocked her with his affections. He smiled at her then, no longer concerned or self-conscious and she raked a hand through his hair, gripping a fistful of it tightly and then she pulled him in, kissing him deeply. He took the affection greedily, selfishly, and he kissed her passionately as he cupped her face between his hands. He didn't want to lose this.

He lifted himself back onto the sofa, pulling her to himself, her body curving against his own, and he sighed against her as she pulled her tongue from his mouth. He left a gentle peck against her lips before he reached out, grasping her wrists when she reached for his trousers. That wasn't the point of the evening. The point of the evening wasn't for mutual satisfaction, it was for hers and her memories alone.

"Not tonight," he whispered to her, he hovered so close to her that he could feel her soft lips against his own as he spoke and he smiled at her, staring into her eyes as they questioned him silently. He pulled her hands back now, shaking his head as he repeated himself, "Not tonight."

He released her hand, instead reaching out to gently trace the contours of her face, memorizing it. His fingertips lightly trailed from her temple down to the hollow of her cheek and then to her jaw whereupon they glided to her chin, which he gripped between his thumb and forefinger. He smiled at her, relief washing over him as she pulled him in for another kiss, and as he embraced her again, he silently cast another spell, draping a light blanket over their bodies.

He had no intention of leaving her this evening, he wanted to stay like this, to pleasure her again when she had rested, to pleasure her until she could no longer take it, to taste her as many times as he could before the morning dawn broke, to ensure that she would remember him in this way.

* * *

**A/N: **_Well, there you have it. Hopefully it lived up to expectations and hopefully it was enjoyable. I know there's things that aren't yet resolved but that will come later. After some twisty topsy turvy stuff that I have a nagging suspicion will shock people. :( Oh well. Anywho, thank you to anyone that reviewed/favoured/followed recently. You're lovely and I adore you. Lots of internet love for you._

**And** **please read and review. **

_It's like my air. And you wouldn't want to deprive me of air would you? _

_(I certainly hope not because without air I can't finish this for you, which is why you should __**review**__)_

_But really, it makes my day/night/whenever I get the e-mail._

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**Reviews!**

**Poodle Warriors****:** Thank you so much! Very happy to hear that. :)  
**Sparkle2627****:** Ah, okay. Well, I've been writing since I was around 11, so about 8 years in total. I always liked making up stories but never quite caught the writing bug until I was 11. I've not taken classes, but I was trained in argumentative debate so I polished more formal writing with that background though I prefer leisurely writing like this and my own personal stories (which are festering in a pit somewhere). I took a look at your story but haven't had time to really sit and read it properly, though I will when I've the time. Oddly flattered (if that's not inappropriate) to have caused you to write your own fic. Definitely interested to see where it goes. And thank you!  
**KMD88****:** Should Steve have been in this chapter, too? Like a voyeur? :p hahaha. You always leave me such nice reviews, on here and elsewhere, and I never know what to say, damn it. I'm so bad at taking compliments on my writing (saying 'thank you' so many times feels so horribly wrong). Any who, regarding Ben, he'll pop back up in a few chapters amid what you and I discussed before about the plot and where it's headed. I'm glad you liked Banner :D And yes, yes, Steve will be in the next chapter all over the place, I promise.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Well, I'm afraid that I'm a little deceptive... War's coming, but not immediately. Thank you as always. :)  
**Foreign Nebula****:** Thank you very much! :D I'm really of the mind that even if Loki falls in love with someone, he isn't about to become a giant squishy bear to cuddle and love unconditionally. It's not his nature, he's a dick and he's always going to be difficult to deal with. I have some parts written (I'm a very bad, lazy writer and write things out of order occasionally) and they just show that while he's changed enough to not be a complete monster, he's still not a big fluff ball and he's still sadistic. I think my Beta said something once to the effect of Thor being prickly and not as cuddly with everyone as he is with Jane and that's true. He's nicer than Loki will ever be, yeah, but he's not the same way as he is with Jane with other mortals. They're warriors by nature, not softies, and I feel like a lot of people forget that. But thank you again and I hope that you continue to enjoy this!

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**A/N****:**_ And a secondary note before I forget, do be kind and check out work from Sparkle2627, KMD88, and Foreign Nebula. I like their work and reckon some of you might as well. Cheers._


	27. Double-Crossed

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything but the OCs and plot. That should be obvious enough. The rest is licensed to Marvel and the respective copyright holders._

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**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Double Crossed**

I opened my eyes slowly to the dark of the bedroom, my cheek still resting against Loki's bare chest. I sighed, closing my eyes again, and pulled the covers of our bed closer.

"Go back to sleep," his voice was soft and he casually lifted a hand, combing his fingers through my hair, gentle. "We don't have to be up for a few hours yet."

I laughed quietly, snuggling closer, "You don't want me again?"

"I do, but I don't want you screaming in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headquarters, no matter how tempting and how much the idea delights me," he hummed low in his chest as he finished speaking, twirling a strand of my hair around his pointer finger.

I rolled over in his arms, resting my chin on his chest and smirked at him, "What's got you in such a giving mood?"

He opened his eyes slightly, continuing to stroke my hair, and said dryly, "My naturally generous disposition."

I laughed, pressing my lips to his chest before I relaxed against him once again. "Tonight was really nice, Loki, thank you."

He didn't reply, merely continued to stroke my hair, and I sighed deeply, contenting myself with the silence that hung between us in the aftermath of the night. I felt incredibly sore, my body heavy, and I closed my eyes again, pressing closer to him.

It was strange, Loki being this affectionate, this giving in bed. He still was wearing his trousers beneath the sheets and I had still been refused when I attempted to unbutton them when he'd finished with me. He'd simply quieted me with another kiss and then told me to sleep, which I had for a few hours. We were to meet with Fury, Steve, and Tony in the late morning to discuss the terms of our agreement with the Book of Ullr.

"Raleigh?" his voice was quiet.

I opened my eyes again, boosting myself up to see him and blinked, looking into his eyes curiously. I remained quiet, waiting for him to continue and smiled as he cupped the side of my face in his hand, his thumb casually stroking across my cheek.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, resting against him.

He shook his head, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Whatever happens after this, you know that I will still care for you, don't you?"

I hesitated. "What's wrong?" I began to sit up and he quickly tugged me down, pulling me close to his body again. "Loki -"

He silenced me, kissing me gently, and I exhaled deeply against his lips, breaking the embrace. I opened my eyes, searching his face curiously as I held tight to him. He pursed his lips at me as my eyes met his, "Raleigh, am I not allowed to be sentimental?"

"You are," I murmured, hooking a leg around his middle. "You just aren't this cuddly normally."

"I wanted you to understand that…" he hesitated, searching for the words, before he continued, "that you are important to me and that I value you."

I could feel my eyes narrow suspiciously. "Are you dying or something?"

He sighed in exasperation, rolling me onto my back and perched over me, "Why must you think that there's something bad about to happen?" he asked me curiously. "Can't I simply wish to please you?"

"You can, it's just different is all."

He frowned, staring at me for a moment before a devilish grin tugged at his features and he leaned in, kissing me slowly, his tongue sliding into my mouth. I knotted my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pressing closer to him when he abruptly pulled back and I stared at him, breathless.

"Best to change how you think about that, I suppose," he whispered to me, his eyes mischievous. He pulled the blankets around our bodies, then burrowed beneath them, his lips trailing lightly across my bare skin once again.

* * *

I leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes and could feel Loki rest his hand upon the inside of my leg. He gently ran his hand along the inside of my thigh and I opened my eyes briefly, glancing at him.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered to him, still slightly unnerved about how affectionate he was being.

He nodded, leaning close, and pressed his lips to my forehead gently. "Nothing to fear, little one," he murmured in a voice that was loud enough for I alone to hear.

I smiled at him, looking to see that Steve was still speaking with a young agent. I remained still, watching their exchange as I ignored Tony who was sitting across from us at the table, snoring quietly.

"Did he have some sort of engagement last evening?" Loki muttered in my ear, referring to Tony.

I shrugged, "I think my dad said there was some kind of dinner for engineers as a thanks for all their work in rebuilding and redesigning parts of the city."

He stiffened slightly at my mentioning the broken parts of New York and I gently rubbed his arm, understanding. He didn't want to discuss it, but I understood nonetheless that the subject was one that disturbed him. I still didn't know why, but for whatever reason it was, Loki was unsettled by the topic of the previous year's battle for New York.

"Shouldn't you wake him?" Loki asked Steve, raising his voice.

Steve glanced over his shoulder at Loki and I and then at Tony, sprawled out in his seat, his sunglasses hiding his closed eyes as his head drooped to the side and he snored. Steve looked back at us, "If Stark drank too much, that isn't my problem."

Loki shrugged, then tugged at the table just enough to jolt Tony awake. He jerked upright as Loki shifted the table quickly back into place, the few inches he had moved it quickly disappearing. He smirked at me, watching as Tony slowly turned in his seat, looking at Steve who was frowning disdainfully.

"I didn't miss anything important, did I?"

"No," Steve replied, taking a file from the agent. He crossed the room, setting it down on the table in front of Tony, "You can start reading the drafted agreement though."

Tony pulled his sunglasses off as he looked down at the file and then grimaced. "Pepper reads this legal garbage. She's pretty well versed in it, I think she ought to take a look at it later."

Steve rolled his eyes, "Agent Cary, you were saying?" He turned back to the young man that was standing beside him and watching as I leaned forward, gesturing to the file that Tony held.

"May I?" I asked him.

Tony lifted his eyebrows at me and then looked at Steve, "May she?"

I ignored him and Steve's look of general disgust with Tony as he waved off the question, reaching out to take the file instead. Tony slammed his hand down on the file and my eyes immediately narrowed as I leered across the table at him. "Look, Pepper isn't here to walk you through legal jargon with a translator. I'm a law student whether you like it or not."

Tony pursed his lips at me, "It's actually really fitting that you're trying to become a blood sucking parasite."

I laughed derisively and then tugged the file out from beneath his hand, sitting back in my seat. I crossed one leg over the other, opening it, and quickly began to skim through the pages that were resting inside of the file, studying the text curiously.

_The initial term of this agreement will be effective upon the date of signature of a length of indeterminate time that will be no shorter than _ weeks/months. The terms will be renewed automatically following the completion of time until a final consensus pertaining to the materials mentioned herein has been reached. _

Loki frowned as he read over my shoulder and I glanced up at Steve, deciding that I didn't want to compare notes with Loki or explain it to him.

"This thing basically says that we're S.H.I.E.L.D.'s until they decide otherwise," I arched an eyebrow at Steve, holding up the sheet of legal paper, "you're kidding me, right?"

Loki bristled beside me and Steve was quiet, then, "That's negotiable."

Tony snorted across the table and I looked up at him, scowling, before I returned to the document, skimming over the parties and applicable law sections curiously, noting that we were to follow international law and not the United States code as I had anticipated.

That was an interesting commentary on who governed S.H.I.E.L.D. at least. It wasn't just the United States who was behind it obviously, it was an international committee.

"If we're following international law," I said, looking up at Steve, "should I presume that S.H.I.E.L.D. is making the United Nations codes applicable to Loki and that he will be protected as a citizen of this planet?"

Steve opened his mouth then stopped, clearly flustered, and looked at Tony, "The United _what?_"

Tony rolled his eyes, "Raleigh, wait for Fury to ask all of your know it all questions. He'll be a lot less ignorant and a lot more grumpy."

I frowned at him, "I'm just asking because this document basically makes no clear statement one way or the other and I think that it should say what S.H.I.E.L.D. considers him in terms of a party."

Steve and Tony exchanged looks and to my surprise, the young agent piped up, "It's a shame that you got involved with him, you know. You basically threw away a great legal career."

I turned to look at Agent Cary when I realised that Loki was on his feet, moving towards the young man, and Steve quickly stepped between them, holding his hands up to stop Loki from coming any closer.

To my surprise though, Loki quickly shoved Steve aside, advancing upon the agent whose eyes had grown wide in horror. I threw the file down, immediately getting to my feet and Tony stood as well, throwing his arm out to stop me from going any closer.

"You may not like me, but I'm telling you that you don't want to get any closer to this," he muttered to me, gripping my forearm in his hand. He shook his head at me and I decided to wait, hesitating as Tony held my arm in his grasp, restraining me.

"What do you know of her?" Loki was hissing at the agent, "Of me?"

"I -" the agent shook his head, pushing his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose as Loki pushed him into the corner, towering over him.

"And who do you think you are?" he continued, his voice threatening, "What right do you have to speak of her?"

"I-I-I -" Cary practically squeaked, his face pale, "A-agent Cary."

"That's enough," Steve said, grabbing Loki's arm and pulling him away from the agent. Tony shoved me behind himself quickly, his body tensing and I watched as Loki rounded on Steve, grappling with him. Steve's face was tight with concentration as he struggled with Loki, parrying off his advances and all at once, I watched as Loki staggered, caught off balance by a sharp left hook that Steve had thrown. I began to shove past Tony, preparing myself to push between the god and Steve when Loki seized him by the front of his shirt.

Tony pushed me back quickly, his arm thrown out to block me from going forward. Involuntarily, I gripped a fistful of Tony's jacket in my hand, my heart pounding loudly in my chest as I watched Steve and Loki hesitate, neither continuing nor stopping in their fight.

This wasn't about to end well.

"Loki," Tony cautioned, "let's not do anything brash."

Loki sneered at Tony as he lifted Steve off the ground, holding him a few inches aloft. "I have no intention of harming your precious Captain, Stark, have no fear. I only wish to be left to what is mine and to handle my business in peace."

"Loki," I tried, "Loki, put him down. Fury will be here soon and we can discuss this like adults. Calm down and let Steve go. It's nothing, don't worry about it. Don't do this."

"Better listen to them," Steve told Loki.

Tony and I watched as Loki slowly lowered him back to the ground and Steve turned to look at the agent who was still cowering in fear.

"Agent Cary, get out."

I watched as the young agent quickly scurried past Steve and Loki, sprinting out the door with a look of sheer terror upon his face. I didn't move from behind Tony, merely stayed where I stood, my fingers grasping at the cloth of his sport coat. Loki glanced at me, rubbing his jaw where Steve had hit him, and then looked between the two Avengers.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Fury demanded as he strode into the room with Agent Cary slipping in after him and looking absolutely terrified.

"Sir -" Steve began.

"I won't agree to your terms," Loki's voice was cool, controlled. He looked at Fury and then around the room, "I will not be signing myself away to S.H.I.E.L.D."

Fury looked at Tony and I, then Steve and Loki, and finally at Agent Cary, arching an eyebrow at the young agent.

"I-I," he shook his head as Loki fixed him with a stern glare, "I made an error, sir."

"Well, isn't that surprising," Fury said with an eye roll. He looked back at Loki, "Sit. Amora was just sighted in Cologne, Germany."

She was moving West…. Towards London. How would she know to go West?

Loki was unresponsive for a moment, his eyes slowly shifting from Fury to me before he returned to the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., his face darkening. Tony slowly relaxed his arm but I didn't move out from behind him or relax my grip upon his shirt. It had been some time since I had seen Loki look so fierce.

"I have nothing more to discuss with S.H.I.E.L.D.," Loki practically spat at Fury. "Keep your dogs on tighter leashes and perhaps your agreements will not go to waste."

"Well, that's fine if you don't want to talk," Steve nodded, "we've still got you here and we've got the Book. That's what she wants."

Loki sneered at him, "Do you believe that you can keep me here?"

_Oh no._

This wasn't happening.

Fury's eyebrows went up, "And do you really think that you can just leave?"

Loki's smirk was devilish and in a matter of seconds the lights of the room began to flicker, the room itself shaking, and Tony rounded on me, grabbing me around the waist as he pulled me to the floor and beneath the conference table as the glass windows in the room shattered. The glass flew across the room as though it had been blown in, pieces raining down on the table and over my ankles where they stuck out from beneath the table.

Tony kept his body over mine, effectively shielding me, and I clamped my eyes shut as I faced the floor. I could hear the sound of three separate bodies slamming into the walls as the floor seemed to jolt beneath our feet and then the thud of each slamming into the floor.

Tony moved first, pulling away from me, and I followed his gaze as I sat up to see that Fury and Cary were lying unconscious on the ground while Steve was struggling to sit up.

"Tony," Steve said, continuing to strain against the magic that was keeping him pressed to the floor, "Loki's going for the Book. You need to -"

Tony was already making his way for the door and I scrambled to my feet.

"Steve -" He looked up at me and I stopped, faltering as I realised that there was nothing I could say. Outside of the room, I could hear shouting and the alarm began to sound, wailing angrily, lights flashing as it signalled a security breach.

This was really happening. He was about to break us out of S.H.I.E.L.D.

If Loki was about to take us away from S.H.I.E.L.D. then there wasn't anything that I could say to him that would make this better. I shook my head at him finally, "I'm sorry."

I turned before he could say anything and raced from the room, skidding out into the hallway. The fluorescent lights above my head were flickering, several of them cracked and glass littered the floor of the hall, the exposed bulbs humming. In the distance, several S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were lying on the floor, clearly having been thrown into the walls as Fury and Cary had been.

I quickly sprinted down the hall, turning the corner to see where the next path of destruction lie and then followed it, running past unconscious S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and after Tony and Loki. I rounded a corner to an empty hallway, breathless, and then stopped, surprised to find the two striding ahead, Tony lagging only a few feet behind Loki and shouting angrily.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tony demanded. "You're betraying her and -"

Loki rounded suddenly, seized him by the throat, and slammed him into the nearest wall.

"Stark," he snarled, "do not tempt fate. I have moments to spare and killing you will be the sweetest of my victories."

"Killing me isn't about to make things any better for you, Loki," Tony said, staring at the god, he shook his head. "It won't."

Loki sneered, "Do you think that I haven't thought about how I'd like to kill you for the last several months?" he growled, shoving Tony back against the wall. "I have, Stark. It may not make things better but it would be undeniably pleasurable."

Tony remained silent, his eyes darting around the hall for a moment before he caught sight of me where I was rooted. His gaze remained settled upon me, piercing me, and for the first time, I understood that I had made the wrong assumption. I'd been wrong. I wasn't going with Loki, I wasn't leaving with him from S.H.I.E.L.D., he was leaving me.

"You don't want to kill me in front of her, do you?" Tony asked, looking back at Loki finally.

Loki's body tensed and he turned, surprised to see me, and then looked back at Tony, snarling angrily. In seconds, he flung Tony across the hall, towards where I stood, and I leapt backwards in surprise as he jarred against the linoleum tiles. Loki whirled around on his heel, making his way down the hall quickly, his footsteps echoing in my ears whenever the siren paused for a beat.

I spared a glance at Tony, tempted to go to his aid for a moment, and then, against my better judgment, I approached him.

"Don't move," I cautioned him as I began to kneel beside him. He looked up at me, scowling, and I stopped, frozen in my place as I stared at him. "Tony, I didn't -"

"I don't care," he snapped at me, "I told you what would happen and you didn't fucking listen. Maybe you _did_ know that he was planning to wreck S.H.I.E.L.D, I don't fucking know! So do us both a favour and get the hell out of here."

"Tony, stop moving," I repeated myself as he struggled to sit up, wincing in pain. "You hit your head and -"

"Get the hell away from me," he spat, leering at me.

I faltered, stepping back, and could feel a my face flush. I turned as my face grew hot and then began to follow in the direction I had seen Loki go. He couldn't have been right, no. Loki wouldn't have left me alone to fend for myself against S.H.I.E.L.D., that was a ridiculous idea.

I rounded another corner, picking up speed, and quickly sprinted through the halls, darting past the crumbling ceiling tiles that had fallen to the floor and around agents who were too busy shouting orders and attempting to pull others up to care about me. I knew where he was heading, it was the obvious choice, the only choice as far as I was concerned.

I pushed my way through a backdoor, quickly running down the flight of stairs that it opened up to, making my way deeper and deeper into the depths of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headquarters as the floors above me darkened and emergency lights flickered on, casting a red glow on the stone walls.

He'd promised to protect me, that included from S.H.I.E.L.D., didn't it?

I threw myself through the door to the fifth floor of the basement levels, skidding out into a darkened hallway. In the dull glow of the emergency lights, I could see a few agents lying on the ground; one was rolling around, groaning, and as I neared him, my footfalls quiet, I realised that a knife was jutting out of his stomach. Blood was leaking out over his hands and I forced myself to look away, to keep going rather than to stop and tend to the wound.

It wasn't my problem anymore, I told myself, I wasn't responsible for helping anyone but myself now.

I turned a final corner and, my heart pounding loudly in my chest, approached the metal door that had been left half open and unsecured. A bloody handprint stained the panel on the wall and I could feel my stomach unsettle nervously as I stepped inside of the room.

Loki was standing a short distance away from me, his back turned and staring down at the Book of Ullr. I'd never considered it to be a particularly remarkable looking book, but in the faint blue light of the vault I could see the intricate carvings in the leather, the well worn and aged pages, and how it had yellowed from centuries of life.

It came out as a whisper: "What are you thinking?"

Loki turned only slightly, not even bothering to look at me, and then returned to the Book, running his hand over the leather slowly. "I am thinking of myself, of doing what is required of me. Self-preservation, if you will."

"So we're leaving?" I said, stepping forward slowly.

The door swung shut slowly and he turned to look at me now, his eyes burning with a rage I'd never seen before. They practically glowed a brilliant, emerald green in the darkness of the room, and as he stared at me, his eyes boring into my own, I began to understand.

"Tony was right," I breathed, "you're betraying everyone, you're betraying me. Loki, I -"

"Shut up, Raleigh," his voice was cold and I fell silent, faltering. "Did you truly believe that I might wish to keep my word to you?"

I was quiet, holding still as he took a step towards me, his look predatory. "You promised that you'd protect me. That was a lie?"

"I am the God of Lies, am I not?" he raised his eyebrows at me as he spoke, his voice almost mocking, scathing.

"So what now?" I asked him, my voice trembling, "Do you kill me now? Is that it?"

He blinked and hesitated as he stared at me, almost as if he were taken aback. He pursed his lips at me, "Killing you would be a waste of my time and energy, Raleigh. S.H.I.E.L.D. is better equipped to deal with you anyway, perhaps they'll tout you as a victim of my abuse and use you to sway the public against me like a martyr. You'll be a cause to rally behind, how lovely."

I flushed, "But I - I don't want to stay here," I argued.

"You have no choice in the matter," he snapped at me, turning away from me. He returned to the Book and casually picked it up from the table it had been resting upon, then tucked it beneath his arm as he looked at me again. "Do you think that I want you?" he demanded, "That you will be of any use to Amora, Thanos, or myself?"

I faltered, "I could -"

"Oh stop your blithering," he said, rolling his eyes at me. "You are of no use to this cause, none. You are useless to what must transpire. I have used you as needed and you are no longer necessary for me to survive. War is coming, Raleigh, you are not made for it."

"I don't understand," I said feebly. "What did I do wrong?"

"You're human," he said, shrugging. He strode towards me, smirking as I looked away from him, emotions knotting in the pit of my stomach, wrenching at my insides as they gripped at me with a white hot heat. I felt like my whole world was spinning. He'd been tricking me since the autumn, leading me to this point, to this betrayal. How had I been so stupid?

But no, no. This couldn't be right. The previous night, I reminded myself, when he'd been so affectionate, so kind with me, surely there was a reason behind it. Perhaps he'd brought me here for my own protection, surely that could have been it.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked him.

He smirked at me. "Come now, Raleigh, you mustn't think such foolish thoughts. These people will be the death of you just as I might. By the time this is all over, you will wish I might have taken and killed you myself."

"Loki -" I stepped forward and towards him when my body was suddenly wracked with a such sharp pain that I immediately dropped to my knees before him, crying out loudly as his magic crackled through the air, driving sharp stinging pain into my skin.

"You were a pathetic, desperate little quean and you are no longer of my concern," he spat at me and when I opened my mouth to plead with him, I watched as he jerked his wrist, effectively increasing the pain I was feeling.

I let out a scream, doubling over on the ground before him and curled up. The pain ended abruptly and his footsteps were light upon the floor as he approached me. I didn't move, instead I remained on the floor, curled up and trembling as I choked back sobs.

"I would see to it that you might die by my hand in pain such as that," he snarled at me. "S.H.I.E.L.D. will show you what I might consider to be mercy. Traitors such as us are rarely lavished upon when they are caught, after all."

I picked my head up, staring up at him as my vision blurred from my tears, and I could hear the door lock behind me.

"Please," I tried again, "please, I promise -"

"Your promises mean nothing," he hissed, "this was decided long before you attempted to bargain with me for your fate. And now, it is now finished."

I reached out at the last second, attempting to grab for him, and my hand instead closed on thin air as Loki vanished from the room and from my sight for a final time, taking the Book of Ullr with him.

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_**A/N:**__ Sorry for the long overdue wait for this chapter. Going between two countries tends to make things difficult as does sorting out my classes, which are, as always, my first priority. Have finally had time the past week to sit and write this though and hopefully this will be good way to tide you all over until next time. Which should, hopefully, be relatively soon now that I'm settled back into my daily life._

_Also, before I get to my standard "Please review," I wanted to say that I was really blown away by the response to the last chapter and it meant a lot to me, so thank you so much for all of your feedback. I really appreciated it._

_Thanks, also, to anyone who followed or favoured either this story or myself, that also meant quite a lot to me and I'm very flattered that you enjoyed it so much._

_So, that said, __**please read and review.**__ It really does mean a lot to me._

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Reviews:

**Sparkle2627****:** I started writing what's eventually to become a novel in high school, but I mostly write academic and formal work these days. There's not as much time for me to write something like fan fiction or even original fiction, which is my preference. I tend to base characters in their rough on people that I know and then they grow into their own, with fic, though, I do research. I spent several weeks reading about Loki and the other Marvel characters that I've involved in this story before I actually posted anything. There's a blending of the real Norse myth in this fic as a result. Thanks!  
**EllizeAvalon****:** Of course : ) Admittedly, been quite busy as I said above but may be able to post a little more religiously now that I'm not hopping the Atlantic.  
**BethanyLeeRenner****:** Thank you. :) I would probably agree if I were in your shoes, but as I'm not and know what all the reasoning is, I can't say I'm sad that he's not admitting anything for certain just yet. Just sit tight, it'll happen eventually, I'm sure.  
**Guest****:** *sticks fork in you* Thank you!  
**Foreign Nebula****:** Ahhhh, your Hercules reference made me smile! Thank you, really glad to hear it. : )  
**Poodle Warriors****:** I know that this chapter will earn me quite a few "Why would he do that?" and "Why would you do that?!" remarks, but I like to think that if you think about it as you (and a handful of others) have that it's pretty obvious that there's something more to it. His caring about what she thinks of him and her memories of him is a rather good sign that something has happened in him that's made him develop into a slightly different character. I just have always been of the mind that both Loki and Thor are selfish to begin with. That was the entire point of the film _Thor _after all ‑ Thor was selfish (among other things) and so he was sent to Midgard to learn his lesson. So when it comes to them having any sentimental feelings towards someone, I really think that it's a rare occurrence and that those feelings are very protective and that those on the receiving end are in a sort of exclusive group of very few. Especially with Loki.  
**Ynath Esrith****:** (21) Why do I portray Loki as a misogynist? Well, I thought that the answer might have been obvious given that I've blended the actual, traditional myth with Marvel from the beginning and sewn certain parts (the prologue's introduction, the Book of Ullr, etc) into the very plot of this fic, but as it's not then I suppose that I ought to explain as simply as I can. I apologise for how long winded this will end up being in advance. I did several weeks of research on Loki in Norse mythology and have taken several courses of history in regards to European culture during the time when the Norse would have been in power and prior to the Christianisation of the Scandinavian countries. The Norse weren't pro-woman for their time, even at the time when they had these myths so it didn't come with Christianity or anything else. Misogyny, by definition, means to "hate all women," sure, but when one says that a man is a misogynist, they don't have to mean it in that regard. That's a very limiting definition. Misogyny is a word that covers a wide berth of things. It also extends to a man that views women as being second-tier citizens and beneath themselves, incapable of doing what they (men) do, and of the mind that a woman belongs in a house rearing children and cooking food. A misogynist frowns upon a woman's mind, her successes, her endeavours, and every aspect of her life; he is possessive and cruel and oftentimes extremely abusive emotionally, verbally, sexually, and physically. He claims superiority over a woman solely based upon their gender identity and not for any other reason. Loki does all of those things in this work. I elected to portray him as such because the fact of the matter is that he was created by a society which was highly misogynistic and restrictive towards women. I'm going to portray that part of him. He's a 1,000+ year old god, he's going to have some negative personality traits to his name such as racism and misogyny. I've blended the culture that he comes from and who he is in our time. He came out as a misogynist. As for how he treats Sif, it's just as easy to argue, is it not, that he doesn't dislike Sif because they have a negative rapport but because she is a woman out of her place? Perhaps, for argument's sake, that's _why _they have such a negative rapport. Thor's always been more open to things like Midgardians, women out of their places, etc., but Loki hasn't been. It's shown throughout the films that he's not as liberal as Thor is and that he's much more rigid. Because really, how many other female warriors are portrayed in Asgard? Not nearly as many as the men. When you see powerful women in the _Thor_ comics they are, generally speaking, in villain-type roles (e.g. Amora the Enchantress). And he actually called Natasha a quim before she tricked him, so there's really no defending that as far as I'm concerned. It's not the same as me saying, "You're a prick!" when I've been made angry, he had nothing to be angry about, they were speaking and he called her a quim, threatened her life, threatened Barton's life, and then, when she had proven to him that he'd been duped, he was silent.  
Plus, as you said, I have the right as the author to interpret the work as I please. And the thing is, I don't like the trope of Villain!Loki based upon the Marvelverse films. The Marvelverse isn't like Nolan's Gotham (which I am an enormous fan of); it isn't as dark, there isn't as much grit, there aren't implications of adult situations such as sex, (graphic) torture, and drug/alcohol abuse. The Marvelverse is intended for family viewing on screen and that, I think, limits the portrayal of a villain in many ways and stops them from being sympathetic or as layered as you get to see in a film like _The Dark Knight Rises_. Bane is a sympathetic villain as far as I'm concerned. He genuinely believes that what he is doing is the correct thing and he has such depth and raw emotion to him. He was easily the best villain in a popular film last year in my opinion. Luckily, I'm not writing for a Marvel comic or a Marvel film. So, because of that, I want to hit on issues that you don't get to see explored in a film or comic book. I want to take things like Loki's psychology, break it open, and analyse it like no tomorrow that way when I'm done picking it apart and making every reader see just how twisted and manipulative he can be, I can put him back together and make him not _better _but more than he was. I want to analyse - or at the very least inject - things like racism, sexism/misogyny/misanthropy, drugs, alcohol, adultery, betrayal, etc. because you don't get to see that in the films the way that you do in reality. I admired Nolan so much, and wish to emulate his interpretation of Batman, because he took on a realistic, raw approach to the material. He really made the city of Gotham seem like it could be New York City right now, like it was in our contemporary times and that all of the issues we are currently dealing with were just as pressing there. That's what I want to do. And if that means I have to make a character more misogynistic (or at least, in my opinion, make it more obvious that a character is a misogynist) then so be it. I want a raw and dark take on the Marvelverse and from here on out it's going to get very dark.  
**Miko Hayashi****:** (20) I really don't enjoy pregnancy portrayals to be quite honest with you and it doesn't fit the plotline at all. I'd also be disgusted with myself if I were to dedicate an entire ficlet to something like that. It's just not my cup of tea for writing, with all due respect. (26) Thank you, I'm really glad to hear that. :) As for a sequel, I've not ruled out the prospect, but it wouldn't involve these two as the protagonists. When I finish this, their story will be done.  
**Kearabee****:** Thanks! :D I've seen a number of those fics actually and they tend to make me cringe. And that does make sense and I'm really glad to hear that. I was talking to someone on my Tumblr recently and I explained that a large part of why I decided to write this fic was to kind of stick it to the trend of Loki related fiction that had him change rapidly. There's no progression, no development, just a girl and then - _boom! _He's in love and he's nice and sweet and in love. And love doesn't work that way. It's very silly thing, I think, to portray it that way and it annoys me that people have this illusion that a character like Loki can just change overnight. Thank you again. :)  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Ah, man, I was so proud of the fact that you got that. I don't know if anyone else realised it, but that's exactly what I wanted to portray.  
**amakitkat****:** :) Glad you enjoyed it.  
**kieekaa****:** Don't worry your pretty little head, Jessica can make another appearance later on. And I saw. :p  
**KMD88****:** I cackled.  
**Purplenurpl****:** (24) Thank you! (25) It obviously must be! And thank you! :) (26) I'm glad that you enjoyed it, plot advancement comes over the next couple of chapters. After this chapter has sort of simmered you again. :)  
**kswaf****:** Of course I have something planned 0:) That said, I'm glad that you liked the last chapter as much as you did. It was probably one of my favourites to write because of the intimacy I got to portray and the fact that it was so different from the previous times.  
**Guest****:** Ahhh, I'll tell you straight up that I despise Raleigh. I think she is a useless, spineless, stupid little girl and she's probably my least favourite character out of all the Original Characters I've ever created in my life. She gets under my skin a lot too. But that's how I know that I've not fallen into the Sue trap, which makes me feel a lot better about myself. And that (fan girls) is something that never ceases to grate on my nerves. Like I said somewhere above ^^ part of the reason I agreed to post this for the long haul was because I lost patience with fan girls and their portrayals; really I just wanted to stick it to all the fics that were being praised as lovely when they had a Mary Sue, no plot, and just this terrible portrayal of canon characters. I got really upset by that (I'm so picky). I enjoy writing this though, I appreciate feedback, and I'm flattered whenever I get a reply to my work, but sometimes I shake my head when I see fans acting like he's this lost sheep. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing if anything. Thank you for your review, I'm really appreciative of it. It means a lot to hear that you want to finish this despite Raleigh.  
**Guest****:** Thanks! :)  
**Rianna****:** Thank you. I'm really happy to hear that. :)  
**LFJohnson99****:** Oh, wow, thank you! :) I really appreciate that!

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_Thank you again for reading/favouring/reviewing/etc, I really appreciate it._


	28. Falling Down

**Disclaimer****: **_I own nothing, obviously. After all, if I did, I'd probably be lounging by a pool right now or something equally ostentatious with all of my millions in royalties. _

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**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Falling Down**

She'd begged him.

The idea turned his stomach over and he tightened his grasp on his teacup, lifting it to his lips as he sat in silence. As he sipped his tea slowly, his eyes roving over the crowds milling through the busy London street, he thought of the final moments again and replayed them over in his head.

It had been effective, he argued with himself, she'd certainly not believe that he'd acted in her own interest. She'd hate him for this, for leaving her and for betraying her trust as he had. That was what he had wanted, after all, he had wanted for her to believe him bad, that he was selfish and hadn't come to change in even the slightest.

Physically harming her hadn't been his initial plan, but she was so damned insistent, so hellbent upon continuing their bargain. She had been terrified of being left, which puzzled him. How was it that she believed him to be the safer of the two choices? He would be a guarantee of her death, whereas S.H.I.E.L.D.'s cruelty would be temporary.

He set his teacup down on its saucer, looking up at the waitress as she returned to him, setting down a scone, and he nodded silently in thanks. Half of the Metropolitan police force was scouring London for him, the entire country had been alerted to his appearance and that he was a danger, working in collaboration with Amora, yet they still hadn't managed to work out exactly where he was, yet alone what he currently looked like. It had made him laugh as he sat in his hotel room, watching the BBC on television with both the Book and the sceptre that he had retrieved.

He sighed heavily, sitting back in his seat as he crossed his legs and scanned his eyes across the faces of the passing pedestrians. They really were such a hapless bunch, he mused to himself. Humans were so oblivious to the worlds beyond their own, to power that they could not challenge, yet alone replicate. If S.H.I.E.L.D. truly believed that they were capable of confronting Amora and Thanos...

He stopped, shoving the thoughts aside and exhaled slowly, picking his teacup up once again when a slim figure approached the table.

"So can you tell me why I shouldn't have called the police on your ass now?"

Loki smirked, looking up at Jenny and then gestured to the seat across from himself, "Sit."

"I don't really do the whole taking orders thing," she replied stiffly. "I'm not Raleigh."

He frowned at her, "Please, sit."

"So you do know how to ask nicely," she nodded, sitting down. She dropped her bag beneath the table, then reached out, picking up the menu. "You still haven't told me why I'm wasting my time on you."

"Do you care for Raleigh?"

The girl stopped, her frown deepening, and she set the menu down, leaning across the table towards him, "She's my best friend, so yeah, I do care about her, which is a lot more than I can say for you. You just left her in the middle of a shit storm and now what? You want to use me to finish this? I don't think so."

"I wasn't going to ask you to do anything for me," he snapped at the blonde, "you don't know when to hold your tongue. It's rather unbecoming."

"No one ever said I had to be a lady."

Loki ignored her, "On the contrary, I was going to suggest that you do Raleigh a favour on my behalf."

"I'm not doing a thing on your behalf, if I do something for Raleigh it's because I want to."

"I don't care what you have to tell yourself to do what I ask of you, I just care that you do it," he told her, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Jenny had never been good for his patience, dealing with her one on one was a friendly reminder that she was perhaps the most impertinent human he'd had the displeasure of meeting.

"Fair enough," Jenny nodded, motioning to the waitress.

"You'll be staying then?"

"For a little while," she told him before turning to the waitress. "Could I get a pot of the vanilla mint tea, please?"

Loki smirked to himself, watching as Jenny replaced the menu, then picked up his teacup again, "If you're planning on telling me that I am a monster, you won't be telling me anything I don't already know. I do hope you realise that and won't be wasting your breath."

"I'm already wasting my breath by just sitting here," Jenny returned snidely, "but now that we've established that, I think you're an asshole. I don't like you. I don't know what Raleigh sees in you and if I were in her place, I'd have passed you off to S.H.I.E.L.D. on a silver platter when Tony Stark offered."

"Anything else?" Loki asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, one more thing," she said, "if Raleigh gets hurt because of you or something that you cause, I'll figure out how to kill you myself. No magic involved."

Loki chuckled, "I'd like to see you try that," he murmured, reaching out for his scone.

Jenny moved quickly, seizing the small butter knife which she brought down, slicing through the air, and stabbed the table top, the blade landing a few millimetres from his hand between his thumb and forefinger. He frowned and cast his gaze around to the other tables, noting that they had earned a few questioning looks and some whispering, then tugged the knife out of the tabletop.

"If you want to be taken seriously as threat," he growled, setting the knife down on his napkin, "don't be shy to aim for your mark."

Her jaw clenched, "I would, but that's a capital offence, I'm afraid."

"Oh?" He smirked at her, "You needn't worry about that. You wouldn't make your mark, I assure you."

Jenny frowned, looking up at the waitress as she returned, setting down a teacup and a pot of fresh tea before the blonde girl. When she'd turned and left, Jenny looked up at him again, "What do you want?"

"I want you to go to Cambridge," he said quietly, "have her mother and stepfather take a holiday. You can tell them the truth, I don't particularly care, but they shouldn't be in their home."

"Why shouldn't they be at home?" Jenny asked, sipping her tea. When he was quiet, she sighed heavily, "Look, you need to tell me because Veronica isn't about to take me at my word. Frank, yeah, but not Veronica."

"Raleigh was a dispensable part of my plan, she knows too much and I'm inclined to believe that when Amora and Thanos have succeeded in their arriving here on Earth, they will target her. Her being in custody will prevent her going to her family's aid, but that will not stop them. They'll target her family in an attempt to lure her out."

"What do a bunch of aliens have to kill Raleigh for?" Jenny asked him, setting her cup down. "It's Raleigh. She's quiet and easy to please and she lets everybody boss her around. If I were an evil alien, I'd be fine with her knowing my plans. She'd be too scared to say anything."

"You have a rather negative opinion on her despite calling her your best friend don't you?"

"Negative opinions don't go away just because you love someone, whether it's as a friend or not. She loves you, but she knows you're a raging dick, right? Well, I love her but I know that she's not the kind of person that could be a threat. She's too nice to be a threat. She's not strong enough to stand up for herself when it counts."

He hesitated a moment, caught off guard by how easily the human had thrown the word love into their conversation, how she'd said it so offhandedly regarding Raleigh's feelings for him. He cleared his throat, shaking himself from the shock of her words and said, "Veronica?"

"That's just one example," Jenny muttered, taking another sip of her tea. "She lets me and you take advantage of her all the time. Don't act like that isn't true."

"I know that she is rather easy to mould," he murmured, frowning. "Were she not..."

Jenny nodded, clearly understanding, "Yeah, well, what to do. She really does love you though," she looked up at him as she picked her teacup up once more. "I can't see her doing any of this shit for any other reason."

"Fear," he suggested.

She pursed her lips, "She's not that big a coward, you know," she murmured. "She's told me about everything she's done with you, she's not half as big a coward as you'd think. I just think that somewhere between taking care of you and being attacked by aliens in Paris because she was trying to save a complete stranger, she fell in love with you. She probably doesn't realise it, she's never been in love before, not _real _love anyway, but I'm pretty sure that's it."

He scowled at her, "That doesn't change the fact that Amora and Thanos would see to it that she is murdered brutally or that her family is harmed."

Jenny shrugged, "I'll go to Cambridge when I get the chance. Is there a certain window I have for this? Do you need it done immediately?"

He nodded, "I'd prefer it be done promptly."

"I'll call them tonight then, Veronica gave me a quick ring the other day to chat about how she's doing in New York. Apparently William called her and filled her in on some of the details."

"I'm afraid that I'm really not surprised at all," he sighed, looking down at his remaining tea.

Jenny was silent, finishing her tea before she pulled her bag from beneath the table and shouldered it. She raised her eyebrows at him as she stood, "You'll pick up my tab, won't you?"

* * *

Loki slowly eased himself down onto the bench, letting out a sigh as he did so. The warm rain was refreshing against the bare skin of his arms, different from the cold he had grown accustomed to, and he relished the feel. He closed his eyes, slowly lifting his face to the darkened sky and allowed the rain to fall upon him, drops sliding over the contours of his face, dropping from his jaw and slipping down his neck where they hid beneath the collar of his shirt.

He opened his eyes, staring up at the twilight sky, searching for a place in the night that he imagined Asgard might be. He loathed being unable to see the stars, but as he found the place he was sure Asgard looked down upon Earth from, he wondered if Odin might see him now, see what he had become. If Odin was watching, did this delight him? What Loki had become? What he had been forced to devolve into?

He was _weak_.

He rattled in a slow breath, forcing his mind away from the thought of having been turned into little more than a snivelling, emotional coward. He was no different than them now, he thought, looking around at where the Midgardians would wander during the day, frolicking, their lives so pointless and meaningless, framed around the possibility of love.

_Love._

He looked back up at the sky, his chest aching as he thought of the emotion, his feeling threatening to break free just when he had finally composed himself. Yet they were there, lying in wait, preparing to ruin him and all of his glorious plans. Al because of _love_. Love, the dirty, filthy emotion that Thor used as leverage, that Odin and Frigga had feigned, that Jenny had thrown out so casually, that Midgardians sought desperately and blindly.

Yet for the first time in so long, he knew what it meant to be alone. And he understood, at long last, why the Midgardians sought companionship, were desperate for love and adoration from one another. It had felt so good to love and be loved, to know that he was safe in another's arms and might trust them blindly. The ache that rose within him was unnerving, the gut wrenching pain was agonising, and yet he was still not brought home to Asgard. He was so alone for the first time. His family remained upon Asgard, Thor with the Avengers, and he'd lost - no, he _sacrificed _- the one Midgardian, the one woman he had truly loved by his own choice.

Out of his own volition, he had cast her aside like she was nothing to him, disregarding how he had laid beside her, keeping guard over her as she slept, holding her body to his own - oh, _how_ he had held her and _how_ he longed to feel her body against his own again. He'd ignored all of it, acted in what he thought was he best interest and sacrificed her like a simple chess piece. He'd acted on his feelings, not upon the superficial ones that drove him to find her body alluring or left him wanting her, but rather his deepest feelings, the ones he had attempted to bar himself from considering in full until now.

He was alone now, forced to face the stark reality of what he had come to feel, what he had come to be. He'd been jolted by the words of the other human, shocked by them, and now he was left to muse his own feelings in relation to the girl that supposedly loved him. He had come to care for her, yes, he had known that for some time now, but more than that he had come to _love_ her. This was surely punishment enough for his transgressions. Loving a woman that he could not have, that could not take him as her own for his misdeeds, surely that was enough chastisement, enough humiliation.

Odin could end it so easily, could make it stop. He could stop this horrid, wretched pain and take it all away with such ease - why wouldn't he though? What made this so different from anything else? Was it because he had chosen to betray the trust of Asgard yet again? Was it because he had elected to abandon Raleigh and to flee for himself alone?

He no longer desired to be a part of the coming war, he simply wished to be free of all involvement, to flee from the feelings that had come to consume him, the prejudices that he had brought upon himself. He had no desire to commit to this war on Midgard and he would abandon his plans if he were certain that he might be able to return to Asgard now, more knowledgeable, more understanding.

"What more do you need?" Loki called to the sky, his voice quivering.

He got to his feet, the rain continuing to pelt him in the face as he stared up at the black sky, regret burrowing itself deep within his chest and down into his guts, threatening to spill out, sending him over the edge. He thought again of her. All he could think of, all he had been able to think of, was her face. He thought again of the dark hair that framed her fine features, the delightful shade of red that flushed her cheeks, and how her eyes had stared into his own so often, twinkling, kind, seeing through all that he had tried to become and what he was and loving him nonetheless.

"Is that not punishment enough?" he cried angrily. "Is it not punishment enough that I have come to love a mortal with such fervour that I might lay my life down in place of her own?" His voice broke and his shoulders shook as he took another step forward. "Odin!" he bellowed at the sky, "Answer me!"

There was nothing but the sound of rain, of traffic in the far distance, and his own laboured breathing in reply. Loki rounded, walking towards the open field beyond the bench, through the wet grass, ignoring the squelch of mud beneath his feet as he made his way out into the most open area he could find. He turned on his heel, facing the sky again as the rain seemed to intensify.

"I want to come home!" he moaned, no longer caring that tears threatened to fall from his eyes or that every emotion he had stuffed away since leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. was on the verge of breaking forth. All of these feelings, these wants, the guilt ‑ all of it could tear him apart in mere seconds. "Odin!" he shouted, flinging his head back.

Nothing.

"Odin!" he roared again, holding out his arms in surrender, "You've won! I see now! I understand!"

Silence.

He let out a frustrated cry, pushing his wet hair from his face, and dropped his arms to his side as tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes. His shoulders shook and he looked up at the sky, his lower lip trembling. "Father!" he sobbed angrily. "Father! Please!"

When still nothing answered him, he dropped his head, crying bitterly.

Was it so worth it? This pain? Was helping Amora truly worth all of this? Was fulfilling his duty to the Other and Thanos so imperative that he might sacrifice the one thing he had found upon the wretched world of Midgard that brought him unparalleled joy?

He tilted his head back again and let out a scream of frustration, his voice gradually growing louder and louder until he was screaming at the top of his lungs to the sky in the hopes that Heimdall might see it. Perhaps then Odin might see that he truly did regret his choices, regret what he planned to do, regret the desires that he had, and perhaps then he might ease the pain of it. He continued on, screaming to the sky until he had doubled over and then fallen to his knees in the mud, his shoulders shaking, his throat raw and ravaged with pain.

He shuddered in a breath, allowing his feelings to consume him as they were, and then he sniffled, wiping at the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

What did it make him, he wondered, if he had indeed fallen in love with her? If he had truly grown to love her? Did it make him weak? Did it make him foolish?

What more did he have to learn? He knew love and sacrifice, understood what Odin had longed for him to know, and yet he still did not understand why he could not be freed from Midgard, allowed to run.

Duty, a voice in the back of his mind suggested idly, perhaps Odin saw that he had a duty left to fulfil. He began to sob again as he thought of what kind of Hell lie in store for him if he were to carry out his duty. Yet it was his duty, his purpose, and perhaps the only way he knew to ensure that he would be welcomed back to Asgard and freed of these emotions.

He breathed deeply, composing himself, and then pushed his thoughts of Raleigh aside, concentrating instead upon the task that lie ahead.

He lifted his head, "Amora," he called out to the darkness, his voice shaking. He licked his lips as he summoned all of the strength that he had and his voice came out much stronger, more determined, as he spoke again, "Amora, I am ready."

* * *

**A/N****:** _I've had part of this chapter written for as long as I can remember, so that should be a fairly good reason as to why you get to see such a quick posting from me! It's rather unusual, I know._

_Any who, thanks for reading, favouring, following, and reviewing. _

_And please, __**read and review. **__I say this frequently, but it really does just make my day._

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**Reviews****:**

**Loki'sdreamer****:** I can't exactly answer that question in full, but without giving anything away, I framed the plot and what Loki wanted from Raleigh's perspective. If everything Loki told Raleigh was a lie, then it should also prove true that everything I've told the reader about Loki's motivations is also a lie. Plus, he had his powers back in Paris when he was fighting the chitauri, I'm not sure if I wrote that clearly enough or if anyone caught that, but that was a hint. He wouldn't have had time to use the Book, he'd just have time to grab a sceptre and start fighting and using his magic. Will explain it in much better detail in the next several chapters or so, I promise. :)  
**Guest****:** Thanks! :D  
**Sparkle2627****:** Thanks! And I do know how this is going to end. I've planned it all out quite carefully. There are a few details I'm still a little bit foggy about, but for the most part, I have everything planned out exactly as I want it. There have been a few things that have come up that I didn't originally plan for (Chapter 26 to name one huge example), but I've accommodated for those and they've actually ended up being more conducive to my plot.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Hot damn, you're on a roll with your guesses! :D  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Surprise? As for Raleigh begging, I'll have a lot clarified in 28 when it's her perspective again, but I'm just going to be as up front as I can in saying that I really don't intend to have S.H.I.E.L.D. treat her very well after she's found locked in a vault where there was a priceless artefact and Loki, who she'd been assisting for months, had brutalised the entire headquarters, attacked numerous agents, and left that same vault with the same artefact. So, I suppose she's begging out of fear or desperation.  
**amakitkat****:** Good guesses. :) You were on par with some of this chapter. And thank you!  
**Kakashi Forever****:** Oh, no! Don't be ashamed of your own fic! Jeez, now I'm blushing over here and feel like quite the tit. Very flattered, but I'd hate to hear that from anyone as I've a great many flaws and bad habits with my writing! Anyway, you're more than welcome to use my Loki for inspiration fodder if that's what you choose to do. That said, thank you and I'll endeavour to. :)  
**Purplenurpl****:** Nah, no sceptre on him in 27. He doesn't get it back until this chapter when he's in London again. As for his goals and desires, I think people might be a little bit surprised by the way he ends up behaving as this progresses towards the final chapters. His motivations are changing... Thank you!  
**TwinkleToesYEAH****:** Thank you! I really appreciate that! :)  
**Poodle Warriors****:** The first thing I thought of was _Anchorman _when you said "Well that escalated quickly..." haha. Thank you for the feedback on Steve - that portrayal of him is quite aggravating. It's similar to the idea that Thor is a bumbling idiot who can't comprehend anything on Earth and the one that has Tony as a ridiculous drunk/womanizer. Steve's not a character that I'd call my favourite on any level, simply because he strikes me as just being so good, which I know he's supposed to be, but it's still just a wee bit aggravating. And I like the story plenty, I'm fairly proud of it now that I'm really hitting my stride, but Raleigh definitely has moments where I sit there and go, "Why can't you be more useful?" - usually this comes up when I'm planning the climax of the entire story. Thank you! :)  
**Zozeebobs****:** So I get to check "Made someone's jaw drop" off my bucket list now? Sweet deal. In seriousness though, thank you, and I'm starting to frame the idea of redemption gradually. A few people know what I'm getting at with how I'm going about framing it and what it's ultimately going to end up being, but I don't really anticipate a lot of people catching the distinction between the things I'm getting at. And as always, don't worry about not reviewing right away. I don't mind. :) I just like hearing from anyone whenever they can write one. Thank you!


	29. The Traitor

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. That ought to be obvious. Well, you know, except for the OCs and the plot, that is my responsibility.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Traitor**

I buried my face in my hands for what felt like the millionth time and dragged my hands over it slowly, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my palms and knotting my fingers in my hair as I gripped fistfuls of it tightly. I stared down at the metal tabletop, my mind blanking as I pushed away every thought and emotion that threatened to slip in. I had been perfecting it over the last so many days, however many exactly was lost upon me and I simply went along with it, meandering through my day and struggling to perfect an emotionless facade.

The dull ache that had found its way into my chest since Loki's departure had waned enough to make this just bearable. The first few days I'd simply cried while curled up in bed and attempted in vain to be left alone. Of course, I had no hope of being left to myself to lick my wounds. S.H.I.E.L.D. needed a scapegoat and who was a better sacrificial offering than the foolish girl that had helped a terrorist and been found alone in a locked vault?

No one but me. I was the perfect scapegoat, the perfect offering, and over the last several weeks I'd done nothing but sit through questioning after questioning with various agents, the Avengers, Fury himself, and people from organisations with acronyms I didn't know or bother to learn. They all asked the same questions.

_'Did you know?'_

_'Were you aware of Loki Laufeyson's intentions?'_

_'Why didn't you know?'_

_'Are you aware of Loki Laufeyson's current location?'_

_'Did he deceive you?'_

_'What was the plan that Loki Laufeyson made with you?'_

_'If you were aware of his intentions, did you fail to act for reasons outside our knowledge?'_

_'Did Laufeyson employ leverage against you?'_

_'What did this plan entail and what were the terms of your arrangement?'_

It was never ending. It never went anywhere either. I had gradually begun to adopt a colder demeanour with my inquisitors; I'd lost my patience for hearing the same questions daily for at least several hours. I wasn't going to change my answers, I wasn't about to have an earth shattering revelation. The simple truth was that I had been gamed just as they had, but no one cared to listen. I was just the stupid Earth girl that had been taken for a ride and stupid enough to think that I'd made a respectable deal with a man that could become respectable. But I hadn't.

I knew that now. Of course, I knew many more things now; hindsight was 20/20, after all. It felt like I'd aged so much in just weeks and I stared blearily down at my muddled reflection in the tabletop, dwelling upon how tired I looked and felt.

I was tired of everything really. It wasn't just the questioning. It was the act, the fight, the vain belief that this wasn't for nothing and that I wasn't to be left. It was a foolish hope, the hope that a child might have in the face of adversity, but it was my hope nonetheless. It was a last hope, one that I'd resolved myself to as I sank into my own despair. The realisation that I was nothing to anyone, nothing but a stupid little girl, a traitor, a liar, a thief had left me feeling so empty.

I was a pawn to Loki and I was a scapegoat to S.H.I.E.L.D.. I meant nothing to them. I meant nothing to anyone in this.

_"War is coming, Raleigh, you are not made for it."_

I winced internally as I recalled his words again. It was true despite it all. I had nothing to offer anyone. I wasn't talented in some extraordinary way, I wasn't of another world, I was just an innocent bystander that had been thrown into chaos and now I was collateral.

The door to the interrogation room opened and I looked up at it curiously, watching as one of the agents walked inside. I'd seen him once before, much earlier, his name was Matthews and he'd been nothing but an ass. I'd ended up sobbing for half of the interview while he belittled my emotions for Loki on camera. It was one of the many reasons I had come to resent S.H.I.E.L.D. in the way that I had. They stood by idly and allowed people to be treated like this. Just on the mere suspicion of being threats.

It could be worse, a voice in my head argued. I could have been tortured or interrogated with physical methods rather than psychological ones.

I resisted a snort at the idea and instead looked down at my hands as I folded them on the tabletop, twiddling my thumbs together. Psychological intimidation was just as fearsome as physical, it certainly had left its share of marks. I couldn't remember my last proper night's rest, the last time I hadn't felt paranoid about being watched and monitored with every move I made, every breath I took. I imagined it might have been what going insane felt like. Steadily losing control on one's reality, spiralling downwards rapidly, grasping at ends to hold onto something.

"State your name for the record," Matthews grunted at me as he sat down in his seat, opening my file.

My answer sounded almost robotic. "Raleigh Alexander. No middle name."

"What is your date of birth?"

"18 September 1993," I looked up at him, watching as he read through my file. "Is this really still necessary?"

"Test questions are always necessary," he responded gruffly. "Residence?"

"I was born in New York, New York but reside in London, England."

"Did you reside with Loki Laufeyson in London, England?"

My stomach turned over as I thought of our flat together. Though I had come to be better at hiding my reactions to the memories that flooded my mind, I hadn't been able to learn how to stop the memories from coming. I still thought of waking beside him on a regular basis, of how he held me close to himself after we returned to Paris, his arms tight around me as we spooned. It'd been so strange, it was such a human reaction, such a mammalian behaviour to be so protective, yet he'd done it anyway. He'd held me like a mortal man might have. Did Asgardians do the same, I'd often wondered. Did _Jotuns?_

I nodded, realising that Agent Matthews as staring at me expectantly.

"State your answer for the record."

"Yes."

"Where?"

"The City of Westminster and later near Canary Wharf."

"Were you alone?"

"Yes."

"Did Laufeyson ever discuss his plans with you while you resided together?"

I shook my head, looking at him, "No, not his true intentions anyway."

Matthews frowned and then leafed through my file, "Were you involved with Laufeyson sexually?" he asked me. He raised his eyebrows when I didn't immediately respond, "Miss Alexander?"

"Yes," I said finally, attempting in vain to keep from grimacing.

"How frequently?"

"Often enough."

"Did you partake in sexual intercourse?"

"Yes," I replied, frowning now.

"Just once or...?"

"More than once, less than thrice. Good enough?"

He chuckled, ignoring the annoyance that now laced my voice. "Straight answers, don't get cute with me now."

"I slept with him twice."

"And when were you last intimate with him?"

Another pang struck my chest as I thought of the night before his betrayal and of how he had been gentle with me, all but on the verge of making love to me in our rooms. I shook my head, deciding to lie as I had for so many interviews before, "I cannot recall."

"You have a tell when you lie, Miss Alexander. Your nose twitches just the slightest bit to the right. Do you want to think about that question again?"

I ground my teeth, staring at him, "No."

"Was it recently?"

"I'm not aware." He raised his eyebrows at me, waiting, and I exhaled slowly through my teeth, "We were intimate prior to his departure."

"How recently?"

I steeled my gaze against his own, unwilling to answer. He looked upon me with a mixture of smug satisfaction and, though I wondered if I were imagining it, lust. This wasn't professionalism. This was anything but actual vested interest. This was him probing into my personal life for his own pleasure. I knew how he liked to humiliate, this was making him happy.

"The night before he left."

His lips curved upwards in a slight smirk and he continued on, "And how were you intimate? Describe the encounters you had with Laufeyson."

"I don't see how this applies to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s investigation."

"Don't waste my time, Miss Alexander. You're only going to make this worse on yourself."

"I'm not wasting your time," I said, continuing to grind my teeth together. "I don't see how it's your business about when I was involved with him or how."

"Miss Alexander, S.H.I.E.L.D. is simply investigating your claim that you were an unsuspecting third party in this. We feel that it is necessary to determine your level of involvement with Laufeyson and that means you need to describe for me your level of involvement with him in _excruciating_ detail, regardless of your desires."

I rolled my eyes, no longer able to hold my tongue. "Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it's not the norm for an agent to get his rocks off to the idea of one suspect sleeping with another."

His eyebrows quirked up. "Mouthy little one aren't you?" he asked me. "I'll bet he liked that."

"Quite the contrary," I snarled in reply.

His smirk widened now, "I'm sure he found plenty of ways to put your mouth to good use."

Flushing angrily, I seized the glass of water that had been sitting on the table and threw it into his face, drenching it. He leapt to his feet, spluttering, and I suddenly found myself doing the same despite being completely unsure of what to do next. The move had come out of nowhere and I found myself quivering with a rage that I hadn't realised I'd been keeping locked away.

"You stupid little whore," he spat at me, picking up my file which he began to shake, water staining his notes and soaking through the papers. "Do you think you're clever? Brave?"

My hands balled into fists, fear knotting itself in my stomach as the doors of the interrogation room opened and two guards entered. I glanced at them then back at Agent Matthews who was leering at me still and wriggled in vain as each of the guards took me by an arm.

"Get her out of here," he growled angrily. His eyes followed me as the guards silently began to pull me from the interrogation room, practically dragging me, and I kept my gaze set on him as well. It was only when I had been pulled around the corner of the doorway that I dropped my gaze to the white floor tiles, my mind flooding with emotions and thoughts.

I wasn't stupid yet I had just done one of the stupidest things I could have.

Not only had I made an enemy, ensured that I would be restrained like a madman in all future questioning, and resigned myself to the rest of the evening locked in my rooms, I had also given S.H.I.E.L.D. something invaluable. I'd given them the opportunity to get under my skin, to pick at me.

They would know this now, that probing into my relationship with Loki was enough to break me, to prompt a reaction. My heart pounded in my chest as the guards steered me towards the elevator, the sterile white walls practically closing in around me. I gasped in a breath, closing my eyes tightly and attempted desperately to force the memories and the fear away.

* * *

I shuddered in a deep breath, inhaling the steam that had risen in the shower room into my lungs. It was thick, almost suffocating, and I tilted my head back as fresh tears continued to leak from my eyes, staining my cheeks as I sat in the shower stall. The water that fell from the head of the shower quickly wiped the tears and I rested my head against the wall as I closed my eyes again.

I was lost in a haze of memories, recalling so much as I dwelled upon what Matthews had forced me to remember. I'd lived with him, spent months of my life sleeping beside him, holding him, feeling for him. I didn't know what was truth and what was fiction, where the two blurred, where I had been duped and when it had started. All I knew was that I didn't understand this and why it was me who had been thrust into this position.

I was a prisoner of S.H.I.E.L.D., I knew full well what happened to people that were unknown prisoners of governments. People like that - people like _me -_ didn't come out alive. We could be killed, called traitors and terrorists, and no one would ever be the wiser.

It wasn't entirely uncommon for people like me to be forgotten, to be hidden away and never spoken of again. I'd written about them, studied them, and they were even in the news on the rare occasion. Maybe, when S.H.I.E.L.D. or the powers that be grew tired of my antics my family would be offered a fairly large sum of money for compensation. It would be to ensure their cooperation in remaining loyal and to keep them quiet. Then, when they had placed a satisfactory price on my life, they could finish me off. I certainly hadn't seen any other prisoners wandering around S.H.I.E.L.D.; I was the lucky guest and had been for over a month now.

I didn't even know what day it was anymore, let alone what was happening in the outside world. No one told me about Loki and what was happening with the coming invasion. They simply badgered me for information that I didn't have. All I had to offer them were memories, were feelings that a foolish little girl might feel for an older man, and I knew that they didn't want any of that. They wanted facts, plans, figures, anything to give them an edge and everything that I didn't have.

I shuddered out a breath and then turned, surprised to hear a noise outside of the shower room in the adjoining rooms. I reached up, pruned fingers grasping the handle of the shower which I turned off, cutting the hot water supply. I got to my feet and pushed open the door to the stall, then reached out and picked up my towel from where I had left it on the ground. Curiously, I padded from the bathroom, attempting to compose myself.

I didn't want to hear from Maria Hill or Phil Coulson, I didn't want a lecture about behaving better during the second coming of the Spanish Inquisition. They knew nothing about what this was like as far as I was concerned, nothing of the stress's weight upon my shoulders and how heavy my body felt with every move, how achingly barren I felt on the inside. However as I walked into the small room, tightening the towel in its position around my middle, I found Thor.

My eyes grew wide and my jaw dropped open slightly.

This was not what I had been expecting.

"Raleigh," his eyes grew slightly and he quickly turned away, holding up a hand to shield his gaze from me, "I must apologise. I did not realise that you were in a state of undress when I entered. I ought to have knocked."

"Oh," was all I could manage to get out before my cheeks flushed. I dropped my gaze to the floor, forcing myself to speak, "I'm so sorry, I was just taking a shower and didn't realise... Just let me get something." I quickly darted across the room and began to root through my bag, finding myself an old flannel shirt that I was almost positive I had stolen from Loki at some point when he'd complained of hating flannel and shrugged it on before I donned a pair of sweatpants beneath it.

"Are you in a decent state?" he asked me, turning slightly.

"Yeah," I replied, watching as he faced me. I held my towel in my hands nervously, unsure of what to say to him. Finally I gave him a feeble smile, "So is it your turn to yell at me?"

He shook his head quickly, "Oh no," he told me. "I came to see you by my own volition. I pray that you forgive my intrusion upon you in your rooms."

I shrugged, "It's not really a big deal, Thor. Kind of gambled all my rights away when I agreed to help your brother out."

He deflated and nodded at my mentioning of Loki. "I would apologise for my brother's actions, however I understand that it will not lessen your pain any."

"You could try," I suggested dryly with a slight frown.

Thor hesitated, puzzled, and then relaxed as he understood the humour behind the remark. "Midgardian humour is lost upon me at times. Your people have such an interesting way of showing good spirit towards one another. This sarcasm and dry wit that Tony tells me of is very difficult, you know."

"You'll get the hang of it," I replied, gesturing towards the chair that sat near the sofa. It was the same one that Loki had read his newspaper in on the last night and it still brought a swell of emotion to the surface for me to stare at it, to recall the brunt of his betrayal. "Sit down, please."

Thor nodded, taking the seat and seemed to relax completely, practically melting into the chair as he eased himself back. He looked up at me curiously as I walked around, settling myself on the edge of the sofa's seat cushions.

"I don't wish to intrude if you are not in the mood for guests, Raleigh," Thor told me, his voice surprisingly gentle. "I can leave if you wish."

I looked up at him in surprise, then shook my head. "No, you're fine. Don't be silly, Thor." I hesitated, wringing my hands in my lap as we sat in awkward silence for a few moments, neither of us knowing what to say next. Finally, I offered, "It's nice, anyway, to have some company. I don't have anyone to talk to usually."

He smiled at me warmly, "If you like I will endeavour to visit more often."

I blinked in surprise, taken aback by the offer, "Oh...wow. Thank you." I nodded slowly, looking down at the floor and then back at him, "I'd like that."

His smile widened.

I hesitated a moment, then looked up at him, "Have you been home lately?" I asked him, attempting to make conversation.

He nodded, "I've just returned." He hesitated a moment, as if wondering if he were permitted to elaborate before he pressed on, "My father wished to discuss the recent happenings here upon Midgard and what action might be taken by the Asgardian warriors if it proves necessary to become entangled in this."

"Has anything started out there?" I asked him, slowly leaning back into the sofa's cushions. I stared at him, hopeful, and was relieved when he shook his head.

"No," he told me. "S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot determine when anything will begin and there have been no sightings." He cleared his throat, quickly changing the subject, "I did have a great hunt with the Warriors Three. Do you know of them?"

I shook my head at Thor, saying, "I'm really sorry but I don't know much of anything about Asgard actually or you for that matter." Loki had never told me anything about Asgard, not in graphic detail. I just knew the big parts. He'd been stolen from Jotunheim, raised an Asgardian Prince, and had attempted to usurp the throne from Thor which failed and resulted in his fall.

Thor frowned, his face sad for the first time, "No?"

"You could tell me if you like," I offered encouragingly. "I think I'd like to hear it."

His face brightened again and he nodded, "I would greatly enjoy that, Raleigh." I smiled at him, relaxing for the first time when Thor began to tell me wild tales of his adventures in Asgard, detailing the flora and fauna I had never known existed, describing personalities I had never heard of, and regaling me with tales of his bravery and deeds. Yet between each of his stories, as we lingered on the final note in silence, no longer comparing the dragons of Asgard to our mythical beasts or swapping tales of family pets when he discussed Freki and Geri and I, Otis and Waldo, we each fell back into our rut. I knew exactly why he'd come and he knew exactly why I'd allowed him to stay when I refused all the other Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. members from visiting.

We had a mutual understanding of one another. We both loved his brother, at least I'd begun to think that I was coming to love him before his departure. Now it was a completely different story, I didn't know what I felt for him or could feel for him even in the best possible scenario. Loki's absence and betrayal had been S.H.I.E.L.D.'s worst nightmare, but a burden to carry for Thor and I; we both felt the familiar ache when we thought of him, a sadness that wasn't quite describable.

I forced myself to smile at him as he finished with his final tale of the evening. He'd retold for me some of the stories that Ratatoskr had told him as a child. To my surprise, Ratatoskr hadn't been an ordinary Asgardian, a mentor of any sort, but instead a brilliant red squirrel that had lived among the branches of Yggdrasil with Lerad, an eagle that guarded the magic apples which granted immortality and eternal youth to all of Asgard. He was a gossip, Thor had conceded to me, but he had many tales of warriors long since past who had travelled on to Valhalla.

"Asgard is quite lovely," Thor said abruptly, breaking me from my thoughts. "You might like to visit it someday."

"I'd be honoured to visit," I told him, truthful, "but I don't really see myself being offered a chance."

He frowned deeply, understanding what I was implying, and then got to his feet. He was ready to go at last. I followed suit, walking after him towards the doorway to my rooms and then stopped, looking up at him when he turned to face me.

His brow furrowed deeply for a moment and his face was clouded over in deep concentration, a look that was nothing but pure frustration and yet incredibly thoughtful. Finally, his features softened and he looked at me more fully, his eyes resting upon my own.

"I have confidence in you," he said quietly. "Loki... He is troubled and oftentimes misguided but you did him well and I know that what they believe of you is not but the fear Midgardians feel in such situations. In time I am sure that they, too, will see that you are not a threat to them or this world."

I gave him a strained smile, "Thank you, Thor."

He nodded in reply and then gave me a short bow before he ducked from the room, pulling the door shut behind himself firmly. I rested my forehead against the cool metal of the door, closing my eyes as I sank back into my own thoughts and gave into my feelings, the sound of complex locks clicking shut all the while and binding me into my prison.

* * *

He was silent, his brow damp with sweat as he laid back in the large bed, pulling the soft, silky sheets up and around himself and the goddess at his side. His body felt heavy, sore, and yet, despite the deep aches within his muscles that were echoes of the pleasure he had had, he felt strangely hollow. Amora shifted beside him, stirring him from his thoughts as she rested her head upon his chest and moved closer. She laid one hand possessively upon his bare torso, her long, slender fingers curiously stroking his skin.

"You've a few new tricks now, don't you?" she breathed in the darkness.

"What can I say?" he murmured, wrapping an arm around the Enchantress's body to hold her close to himself. "You know that I like to please you." It was a lie. He missed Raleigh, the way that her hair smelled, how her body fit so snuggly against his. Sex with Amora was trite, emotionless, he could detach himself even if he still managed to please her.

"And where did you learns these tricks?" she asked curiously. "Midgardians?"

He smirked, chuckling softly, and shifted, hunkering down in his bed, "They have their uses, you would be surprised at what they're capable of."

"Any common beast is capable of rutting," Amora replied, sighing heavily. She looked up at him, the moonlight illuminating her face as she stared at him, "Did your little pet teach you these things?"

He was quiet for a few moments before he shook his head, "No. There are many more willing and hapless mortals though even if she was prudish." He reached out, wrapping a strand of blonde hair around his index finger as he mulled over her words, how her voice sounded so bitter and mocking as she spoke of Raleigh.

Amora smirked, "Yet you want to keep her for yourself, how _intriguing."_

"My desire to keep her for myself is mine alone and I simply ask that you not question me upon it."

"Perhaps, though I am afraid that I don't understand. Do you have preference for it?" she arched one eyebrow at him, her fingers lightly stroking across his chest as she waited for his answer.

"No," he shook his head as he lied to her. Rubbing her arm affectionately he continued on, "Am I not allowed to have a plaything to toy with?"

Her grin widened, revealing her teeth to him, and she mocked him lightly, "If your idea of play is to rut with inferior creatures such as Midgardians then I may be forced to believe that you've grown soft during your stay here. The Prince Loki I know would have nothing to do with these creatures, would never see a use for them beyond their natural state..."

"I can assure you that soft is not what I've become," he growled, pulling her in closer to himself and shifting so that he spooned her, "I feel no more sentiment for it than any other Midgardian. It has its uses though."

"The Midgardian satisfies you in this way, does it?" she sneered at him.

He forced a quiet laugh, "Surely you're not feeling insecure?"

Amora scoffed, then rolled over, gazing up at him; one of her long fingers traced the contours of his face as she lay in silence. Then, "Surely you are not avoiding my question, are you, my Prince?"

"The Midgardian doesn't," he told her truthfully, before adding, "nor did any of the others. They lack your stamina and your skill." It was true, though he had come to love Raleigh the only time they had ever engaged themselves so intimately he had been too rough to allow her the opportunity to please him. It had been good, but then again any sex was good. It was release. Pleasure, on the other hand...

"Then why keep your pet to toy with?" she asked him sourly, tearing from his thoughts.

"Boredom," he answered idly, "I find simple pleasure in toying with the Midgardian much the way a cat plays with a mouse."

Amora lifted herself up slightly now, "I _bore_ you?"

Oh _now_ he had done it.

"No," he shook his head and laughed quietly, pulling her back down and against himself again, "but there are days when I cannot have you and nights when I will lie in want. I might fulfil my desire through it instead. It's a far cry better to consummate with a Midgardian even if it is comparable to my own hand."

"I might rather you use your hand than come to me reeking of your Midgardian whore."

He forced himself to smile and leaned forward, pressing his lips to her forehead; he pulled away slowly and murmured, "But, alas, you have already acquiesced to my desires, my love."

"I have, though if it cannot bring you the same pleasure that I might, I don't see why you refuse to simply kill it," Amora muttered as she settled herself back down in his arms, resting on his chest comfortably.

He bristled at her words, his face darkening over for an instant as he said, "Because I -" before he stopped himself from saying _love her_ and cleared his throat, calming himself. "I find I have developed a predilection for the Midgardian's oral skills. Nothing more than that. I merely enjoy her mouth upon me. Might you condemn your Prince for acting upon such a basic desire?"

She sounded surprised, _"Oral?_ You wish to keep the mortal because she's decent at oral?"

He rolled his eyes, grateful for the mask of darkness, "Yes. Should my memory serve me yet, I don't believe that you and I have ever engaged in such intimacy."

Amora turned to look at him, lifting her chin as she smirked at him, suggestive. "Well, my Prince, I believe I am capable of changing your mind about its uses if you might allow me?" she murmured to him before she slipped beneath the silky sheets, her lips trailing lightly across his skin as she travelled lower and lower.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Really sorry I've not been hanging around the last few weeks. Struggled with a little bit of block and then fell ill with the flu and have been having this glorious thing called a life away from my computer for once. So not much time for writing, sadly. Anyway, should hopefully have a decent schedule laid out for the next several chapters. Whoop._

_Again, really sorry for the delay in the posting of this. Terribly sorry._

_That said, thanks to anyone who reviewed/commented, followed, or favoured either the story or myself. You're pretty rad in my book._

_As always, __**please read and review!**__ It tickles me pink when you do it._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Ellize Avalon****:** Honestly, I don't think I'm ever going to put a character into a suicidal bout of depression in fic. While I think it'd be very interesting to explore that mentality as an author, I've discovered that a lot of people, readers and authors alike, don't afford suicide the proper respect it deserves. I've seen it become a dramatic device to resolve troubles magically and that, to me, just has put a bad taste for suicide in FF in my mouth. I think I'd be insulting anyone who has ever dealt with serious depression or suicide if I were to just throw it in and be like, "Drama! Ka-pow! Resolution! Whoopie!" And I don't ever want to do that because I feel like I would be cheapening someone's real and raw experiences, which isn't what writing is about. Writing, to me, is about capturing those experiences. Speaking as someone who has seen the impact of suicide and the toll it leaves on others who have experienced it firsthand, and also as someone who has experienced minor depression in the past, I want to handle something of that magnitude with grace and with an immense amount of respect. I don't want to give it any less than that.  
Not trying to be mean, mind, and you've not offended me or anything else, that's just where I stand on the issue of suicide in FF. I think it needs respect and it needs a respectable, honest build up and a real, raw need for an attempt. I don't think I've worked there, I don't think I've left my character with no way out and in that bad a place. Beyond my own personal reservations to portraying suicide, I just don't see it as being fitting given that following this somewhat mopey little filler chapter things start to pick back up. Anyway, will endeavour to get back to posting like a normal human being again soon. :) Glad you enjoyed the last chapter.  
**Kakashi Forever****:** I might have something hidden up my sleeve for Chapter 30 in regards to Loki leaving her hanging. I did hint at it a little bit. :D  
**Poodle Warriors****:** Ah, awesome. _Anchorman 2 _in December. Whoop! Though, I did prefer _Elf,_ which I watch annually. And I did notice something, in my own quiet musings, which is that they're beginning to mirror one another gradually. I'm not sure if it's noticeable to anyone else, but it is to me. Especially with much later pieces that I've been fiddling with. Anywho, I want a gradual change so I'm glad it's coming off appropriately.  
**kearabee****:** I think that the word you're looking for is "Feels." Thank you! Well, the rain wasn't really so much a finishing touch or intended to be a mood setting as a reality... So can't say it was one of my strokes of genius, rather just the casual observance of a Londoner.  
**Miko Hayashi****:** All the feels, feels for everyone.  
**Loki'sdreamer****:** Yay. :) And no, thank _you._  
**BethanyLeeRenner****:** Ah, no! I didn't want to leave anyone crying! Ack! Would offer you my box of man-sized tissues if I could (they're a very clever little invention across the pond). Will endeavour to update when I can which should, with any luck, be sometime soon. :)  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Eh, believe the phrase goes "And that's how the cookie crumbles." I'd have loved to portray it differently, but it with Raleigh, it's hard. She's not at the stage where she's really ready to see that she can be fearless or that she's really got much of a voice. I like to think she'll get there though, eventually. I hope so anyway or else I'm going to feel like a bit of a failure.  
**amakitkat****:** :) Seems to be that way.  
**Affectionate-Sinner****:** Thank you! That always means a lot to hear. And I will endeavour to as much as I can.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** And the plot thickens? Hoping I dropped appropriate hints about what Loki's up to but can't be sure. With any luck 30 shall soon follow!  
**Purplenurpl****:** Thank you as always! Means a tremendous amount to hear this sort of thing. :)  
**AnimeFan001****:** Thanks! Will hopefully be much more punctual with my updates again.  
**BarefootBallerin****:** (27) Well, I never did promise a nice and reformed Loki, so he's definitely still a bastard beneath it all. And Raleigh does have her moments of genuine stupidity...


	30. The Trickster's Plot

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything besides the obvious stuff, which I'd hope might be - you know - obvious._

**A/N:** _Apologies for the slight brevity of this chapter (~3k words), will be making another post either today, tomorrow, or Thursday when I have the time to finish edits on Ch. 31 to make up for it._

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**Chapter Thirty: The Trickster's Plot**

Loki reclined in his chair, his brow furrowing in concentration as he struggled to concentrate upon the worn text of the Book of Ullr. However, he found his mind wandering, flitting between Raleigh and then back to Amora, leaving him unable to focus upon the page he'd opened to.

They'd met as children in Asgard and become friends, bonding through their shared love for magic. For many years, she'd desired Thor and had pursued him in vain, losing out to Sif. It wasn't surprising, Loki had thought at the time, though he had managed to refrain from voicing this opinion to the snivelling blonde Enchantress that had buried herself in his arms, crying as only a scorned child might. She'd never been Thor's type, she was too intellectual, too similar to himself, and none of the Warriors Three had accepted or found favour with her. It would have been senseless to bother, he'd always insisted to her, yet she'd gone ahead and attempted anyway.

It brought them together in the end, she'd turned to him seeking adequacy and while he'd been shocked by the proposition, he'd come to feel some form of sentiment for her as the centuries passed. He'd always fancied that he had come to love her, much the way that she did care for him, but his time on Earth had taught him otherwise. He might have loved Amora at a time in his long life, but now, in this place, with his desires what they were, he couldn't be certain that he felt anything for her but a waning sadness.

It was pity, he mused, pity that their love would not ever be what she desired. She would never be a true Queen in his eyes, no matter the result of the impending battles for Midgard and later for Asgard. He would not love her for bringing this Hell back into his life, however well intentioned she had been. They had quarrelled once already, their shouts echoing off the vaulted ceilings of the weathered building, and it had ended with her storming away angrily, threatening everything he held dear.

If only she knew.

A small smile tugged at his lips as he thought of her threat, of how much pleasure she would gain in knowing that she could truly cause him anguish if she simply went for the right Midgardian... He closed his eyes and rubbed his face wearily, shutting the Book with a soft _thump _before he relaxed in his chair.

He'd bargained with them, prompted them with a simple promise. So long as they allowed him to keep Raleigh, he would see to it that he translated the Book quickly and without protest. To his surprise, Thanos had agreed without even questioning his motivations. Amora, on the other hand, had been far less amicable towards his desires, dogging him with questions, prompting him to explain to her that he wanted a _plaything -_ he resisted a scoff at the idea, Raleigh was hardly a plaything. If anything, he wanted a rather ill-behaved pet for himself. That was how they saw it anyway. The annoying Midgardian girl for his translating runes, it wasn't a bad deal really.

He was eagerly anticipating being able to hold her again, to feel her soft skin beneath his fingers, to smell her hair. He'd already plotted out how he would have her, ensured that when he had officially received her for himself that she would experience nothing but pleasure at his hands as an apology for what he had done. She would understand, he hoped, that this had been beyond his control. He would see to it that she understood. He'd done the fair thing, he'd protected her family while he was still free of allegiance and he had seen to it that she, too, was protected until he was confident it was time to make her his own once more. And when he had her, he would be certain to keep her from wanting, keep the word 'need' from her lips.

Of course, realistically, she'd fight with him about right and wrong and morality. He opened his eyes at the thought, rolling them towards the ceiling as Raleigh's voice echoed in his head, admonishing. Amora, to her credit, had at least never thought it wise to criticise him as Raleigh did; she'd always supported him in his endeavours and, on the occasion, mocked him. But she certainly never made the mortality of his actions an issue.

He crossed his legs, his lips pursing as he mulled over his thoughts. Amora had practically kept him chained to the bed since his arrival. _Making up for lost time, _she had argued. He'd not complained, though it did make translating runes all the more difficult to do. If his hands were full of soft and pert flesh, it left him no room to fulfil his end of the bargain. He had a sneaking suspicion that had been her true goal.

At least Thanos hadn't used the tesseract to control either of them, that much had left Loki somewhat reassured. Though, Amora's insistence that Thanos was wise and that his beliefs were true was somewhat unsettling. He imagined that it was naivety, they shared the same naivety at times, after all. He'd initially believed in what Thanos had proposed, thought it sensible and wise. After all, Midgardians were an inferior species - so he had been raised to believe, anyway, and so too had Amora.

Yet his time upon Midgard had begun to mould his views, reshaping them. He didn't find himself sharing in Thor's fondness for humanity, however he did find himself caring for many of the mortals he had grown to know, chiefly Raleigh. Her family and even, to a slightly lesser extent, Jenny, had also proven his conceptions of human behaviour to be incorrect at times. They were rather noble and he was beginning to wonder if they all shared such traits as loyalty and camaraderie. Their ability to show compassion, too, had surprised him. He'd grown to know them as being so very basic in their nature.

Mortals were never to be truly equal to an Asgardian, he had learnt from a young age, nor would they ever be as wise, let alone superior. Yet he sometimes found himself musing over the idea of there being more to Midgardians than the bigoted claims laid by Asgardians; perhaps, in some way, Midgardians _were_ superior to Asgardians. They were petty people, foolish, yet even in strangers he had observed kindness that surprised him. Despite their being unwise, ungifted with youth and immortality, they were still daring.

Raleigh was daring, he reminded himself, growing still in his seat. She was alone with S.H.I.E.L.D., she had no other option but to be courageous and to face them without assistance. For whatever reason, he had confidence that she would succeed, not that it would matter much longer anyway. He was nearly finished with his translations and once those had been completed, he was free to carry out his plans.

He rubbed his jaw, dwelling upon his plans, reworking them in his head, and barely noticed the blonde haired goddess as she slipped into the study, her footsteps light on the floor as she approached him. It was only when she had eased herself down onto the edge of the table, gazing at him curiously, that he looked at her, his brow furrowing.

"What do you want?" His voice was clipped, brusque, and he immediately regretted not having been kinder towards her.

She frowned, but seemed to ignore his tone, saying instead, "I wished to see what you were doing with yourself. You've wasted another day toiling with your Book and your notes, I see."

"It's hardly a waste," he replied quietly, closing his eyes as he leaned back in his seat.

"To you," she returned stiffly. "The Master wishes to know how much you have completed?"

He cringed inwardly at her referring to Thanos as _The Master_. She truly had no understanding of the horrors he was capable of, what Loki had suffered at his hands for so many months.

"Tell him that I am nearly finished," he said, smiling at her. "And I shall I assume that he will wait for my return to cast the incantation?"

"He has no other option," she said quietly. He opened his eyes slightly to see that she was frowning at him. "You are a fool, Loki," she shook her head, "you have the opportunity to bargain for so much more, riches and power, untold power, and yet you request a simple Midgardian that kept you company in this squalor? Why?"

"I have my reasons," he murmured, evasive.

"You care for it?"

He opened his eyes, giving her a dirty look, "What interest do you have in my desiring the Midgardian? Have I not yet proven my loyalty to you? To what we desire? You have no reason to feel insecure, yet alone over a humble mortal of all the things."

She scowled at him, "You've not answered my question."

He sighed heavily, "I made a promise to the Midgardian to protect it. Are you satisfied now?"

"When have you ever thought it prudent to keep your word?" she demanded, cross. "You are the God of Lies, not of Fulfilled Promises."

He sneered at her, opening the Book again, "Several hundred years and you have yet to change even the slightest," he muttered to himself.

"Is that what you believe?" Amora's eyes narrowed into thin slits and she leered down at him, clearly displeased.

"I do," he replied, "I believe that you are but a fool to think that this might end as you wish. You know nothing of what I do and you prove yourself to be the same naive child that threw herself at Thor!"

She stood, glowering now, and he watched as her hands curled into fists, her nails digging into the skin of her palms. "And you?" she hissed at him. "You, who is prepared to throw away all your planning, all of your hopes solely to fulfil a promise you made to a mortal? Do not pretend, Loki, I know you. I have known you for a millennia, far longer than you might ever know your precious little mortal pet."

He set his jaw, his eyes locking on Amora's, "The mortal is not the source of my motivation, nor is it what I desire. You claim to know me and yet you readily are willing to compare my wants to that of Thor? Thor, who has lain comfortably besides a Midgardian since his banishment?!" He got to his feet, tossing the Book down onto his desk and towered over the goddess, seething.

She searched his face for a moment, then, "You always did follow wherever Thor went. It would only be fitting that you might succumb to the same weakness as him."

He flexed his hand, resisting the urge to lash out at her. Instead, he lowered his voice, "You dare to address a Prince of Asgard with such a tone?"

Amora hesitated, her face softening slightly for the first time, and she reached up, her fingers light across the skin of his cheek. She frowned at him when he remained still, "Are you still my Prince?" she murmured to him, her voice quiet.

"I have always been your Prince," he murmured, turning his head to press his lips to the inside of her wrist.

"Then I dare," she nodded, her thumb stroking his cheek gently. "I dare for you know me and I, you." She lifted herself up just enough to press her lips to his own, leaving a gentle kiss against his lips. He closed his eyes, kissing her slowly, and wrapped his arms around her middle, holding her to himself.

It was bittersweet to embrace her this way, he had found since his arrival. Though she seemed to be calmed when he did so, he knew her suspicions, knew that she was on the right path. The embraces he'd shared with her out of his chambers had simply brought forth memories of their time together upon Asgard as they grew into their adulthood. It wasn't terrible, if anything it was melancholy. It felt pleasant and then, at the very same time, it was saddening.

She pulled back from him, giving him a faint smile before she stepped away from him, breaking his hold around her waist. "Will you be joining us for dinner?" she asked him, looking sideways at the Book where it lay.

"I will endeavour to," he murmured. She nodded and he quickly stepped forward, kissing her again. He deepened their kiss quickly, holding her body flush against his own, and only broke from her when she moaned against his lips. He opened his eyes, staring into her own, and cupped her face in his hands, "Never doubt that I have loved you."

Amora did not reply, merely smiled at him, and then pulled away, leaving him in the study to his thoughts. He stood silently, watching her retreating figure as she headed for the doors and then slipped out of sight, the large wooden panels sliding shut after her.

With a heavy sigh, he sank down into his seat, rubbing his jaw.

His lies were not going unnoticed, even he knew that his time was running short with the goddess. If he exacerbated the situation any further... He shook himself of the thoughts, not willing to imagine what she might do to Raleigh if her wrath had been incurred. He knew Amora, knew her to be fierce in battle, and knew that if provoked, she would be cruel. He could keep her sated, continue to shower her with his affections both physical and not, but for how long he was not sure.

He dreaded the possibility of failure. Were his plans to fail, were he to risk everything and lose... Again, he shook himself of the thoughts, not wanting to dwell upon the idea of what Amora and Thanos might do if he failed them or his affection for Raleigh became known. He doubted Thanos would care; perhaps he would be displeased, but he could hardly complain if Loki was delivering the entirety of Midgard to them on a silver platter with his magic. At least, that was how Loki saw it. Amora, on the other hand, would be far less forgiving for his ever growing sentiment towards the human girl.

They had lain together for several centuries, fought and studied their magic alongside one another, had toyed with the possibility of becoming one another's betrothed, and now, he had fallen in love with a Midgardian. The betrayal would be unforgivable in her eyes, she would see to it that she personally carried out Raleigh's handling. Loki was hardly a fool, he knew that Amora was not to be meddled with, that her rage was hot and her magic powerful. Moreover, however, Loki knew her to be sadistic, heartless, and whatever she chose to do to Raleigh would not result in a swift, painless demise.

He opened the Book, scanning over the runes again and rubbed his face wearily. Soon, he reminded himself. Soon he would have Raleigh back, perhaps not in the capacity that he most preferred, but soon enough she would be with him again and it would be good. He could retrieve her, bring her back with himself, and ensure that she was safe from the harm that the impending war would bring. So long as he finished his translation of the runes, he would be able to begin to carry out his plan to take Raleigh back.

His only fear was in failure, for if he failed she would be torn from him and he would be thrown into war. Even now, the prospect was great. The chance at having her again was within his grasp, and yet, at the same time was so far from his reach. Were he to fail, his actions would be in waste and his own life put into peril. He was still unsure of whether or not he might be able to sacrifice not only himself, but Raleigh, for this cause.

His views had been changing, it was true. He now saw the truth of humanity, the truth of himself, and while he desired to loathe what he was confronted with, he knew that he would not be able to live with himself for the destruction that this Book would bring. Were he to have Raleigh, perhaps that guilt would be lessened...

Closing his eyes, Loki allowed his shoulders to slump and he willed away his thoughts. He could not be distracted, not when there was so much at stake, when his calculations banked upon his careful control of the situation.

He opened his eyes, concentrating again on the ruins and then picked up his pen, beginning to translate them slowly. He was a step closer already, his plans were put into motion from the moment he left Raleigh and only furthered with every day that passed. He was capable of succeeding, of protecting himself and his own. It was imperative that he not fail for failure was an assurance of death and he would not allow that to happen.

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_**A/N:**__ Right, sorry again for the relative shortness of this chapter. The next should, hopefully, make up for it and I can assure you that it will be up later this week. I've an essay to revise for a politics course between now and Thursday, but I should have 31, which is more of an average length, up by no later than Friday (at worst). _

_Any who, thanks to anyone who followed/favoured either the story or myself as you're lovely people and I appreciate you all and many thanks, as always to anyone who was kind enough to leave me a review._

_And please do __**read and review**__, your feedback means a tremendous amount to me - good and bad._

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**Reviews****:**  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Ha, he's quite a scoundrel, isn't he? :p I have to confess, I don't think that Raleigh would be very pleased about Amora if and when the time comes and she learns about Loki's relationship with the goddess. Especially given what Amora's like. Not sure if this will reach 50 chapters yet, I'm kind of anticipating around 45, perhaps, but if it teeters over the edge and into 50 then I'll be pleasantly surprised (are my poor "I-plan-the-plot-but-not-the-length" planning skills obvious yet?).  
**kearabee****:** Thanks! :) I actually think it's interesting that you call Raleigh strong - my Beta and I were recently discussing her as a character and I said that I didn't quite feel she'd gotten to the point where she realised that she was capable of such strength. As for Loki and Amora, I had hoped (rather evilly) that it would be a bit of a punch to the gut for the reader. I mentioned somewhere below, but I did take liberty with their canon relationship in this story and make it sexual, but I do think that their story is a little bit of a sad one if I'm to be entirely honest, even if it doesn't appear that way right now.  
**KMD88****:** Did you hyperventilate?! I'll be excited if you did because when you get your laptop fixed and finally update I'm going to be a very happy camper, let me tell you. I'll try to throw in random Steve appearances after the next chapter (or maybe even in the next chapter? Hm...), just for you because you're my favourite. :p I think anyone would be angry to be questioned like that, I'd certainly have chucked water at him if I were put into that situation as well. He is a bit of a scamp, isn't he? ;D Glad you liked it though. :)  
**Affectionate-Sinner****:** Oh, thank you! No need to envy me though, have been writing for 9 years and have had plenty of practice in that time. All about honing your skill and learning the craft, I think. :) Practice makes perfect and all of that jazz. Any who, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. :D  
** . . .self****:** Haha! I'm glad you enjoy it enough to squeal then! :) And with any luck her luck might be changing soon...  
**QueenieMeanie****:** Thank you very much! It always means a great deal to me to hear that! :)  
**Loki'sDreamer****:** Thank you! And I try very hard to make all of my chapters at least 3,000 (max. 8,000) words because I really don't care to read stories with short, choppy chapters that really don't offer me any meat and potatoes. As I find such chapters to be annoying, I tend to think that many of my readers would also appreciate getting a good read out of it. That's what fic is for - enjoyment. So if I can prolong that enjoyment with fleshed out chapters, then I'm happy to do it because I enjoy writing it.  
**Guest****:** Thank you! Well, after this chapter things should hopefully begin to pick back up again in terms of action! Cheers. x  
**Crede Biron****:** Well, hopefully I answered your questions and your complaint at Loki in this chapter. It's a little more complicated than simply being opposed to monogamy and Amora being jealous - I admittedly took quite a bit of liberty in expanding the canon relationship between Loki and Amora. I plan on going even further into detail about her relationship with him in later chapters, but this should be a bit of a basic rundown of Loki/Amora. Thanks! Much appreciated and will endeavour to do so. :)  
**Poodle Warriors****:** Very glad to hear that it came off as I'd hoped! And I really did like having Thor come into the chapter. I think he was necessary, honestly. It was time for him to really have a one on one with Raleigh and he fit the best, I think, given the ongoing situation. Thor certainly has his flaws, which makes him a great character, but he's got a heart of gold and he does care, which I think was something really imperative for both of them at this point in the story. Re: Elf - I can't look at spaghetti quite the same myself!  
**backfromtheussr****:** Thank you, I quite appreciate hearing that. I've been in that situation, those relationships, where you do come to be so attached to a person that you simply can't hate them, that you feel everything but hate for them and it's agonising. It was, admittedly, very interesting to explore it in writing because it was a chapter I'd been writing while dealing with my own emotions offline as they'd just been dredged back up to the surface. And I do believe that ended up influencing Raleigh's portrayal, because of how raw an experience it truly is to love someone in such a way. Anyway, means a lot to hear that I managed to get the experience to translate well on paper (or screen, rather).  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** I feel like that was almost the general consensus. :p


	31. Fissures

**Disclaimer: **I do not claim ownership over the characters licensed to Marvel; they're generously on loan to me and I make no claim otherwise. They're like my playthings and I cherish them and hope to do them justice. The rest of this, however, that _is_ mine and mine alone.

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**Chapter Thirty-One: Fissures**

I looked around the small, blindingly white room, nervously toying with my travel cup that had been filled with hot tea not long before. It wasn't particularly good tea, but I wasn't one to complain, not when I was technically considered a criminal and, for all intents and purposes, a suspect in an intergalactic crime. Good tea could be requested when it became clear that I knew absolutely nothing about anything, when S.H.I.E.L.D. finally believed I was telling the truth. If that time ever came, of course. I resisted a snort at the idea, I wasn't about to fool myself into thinking it was coming.

I glanced around the interrogation room again, beginning to grow restless. Whoever had the pleasure of dealing with me today really needed to hurry it up...

I sighed deeply, slowly rotating the cup on its edge, my mind empty of thoughts as I continued, repeating the motion with increasing frequency, when the door to the room swung open abruptly. My eyes shot upwards and I jumped, surprised by the way the door slammed against its frame upon being replaced then shifted my gaze to the agent that was standing before me.

Save for the cool metal table and chairs, he was the only other thing in this room besides me. There were no guards today, they'd been pulled shortly after it became apparent I only misbehaved with Agent Matthews. It was strange to be alone with someone, well as alone as I could be anyway. I didn't want to count the eyes that were mounted in the corners of the room, watching me, watching him, watching he and I as he stood before me, a strange look upon his face as he took in my appearance.

Surely I looked pathetic; in fact, I was almost positive that I did. I hadn't slept properly in days and dark, heavy circles ringed my eyes, my face gaunt with exhaustion, worn from the effort I'd made to convince S.H.I.E.L.D. that I was an innocent participant even if it wasn't entirely true. I'd lost weight, my clothes a little looser on me than they normally were from my lack of appetite and the empty hot cup that had once been full of tea was perhaps one of the few things I'd managed to drink in full in the last several days.

The stress was one thing, I could handle stress and talk my way through an interview. Interview after interview after interview meant nothing to me, but the emotional pain of having lost Loki in such a manner, it was perhaps the most devastating thing I could have experienced. Having had him ripped away from me, had my idea of him torn and shred to pieces, it hurt terribly, it had broken me and left me so exhausted.

This new agent, on the other hand, looked like he hadn't had this good a day in a very long while. A sly smirk was curving his lips upwards as he slowly began to approach the table, a file clutched tightly in one hand. _My _file, I reminded myself.

He was tall, perhaps near six foot, I figured to myself from where I sat, and well muscled, built like he was capable of doing serious physical damage. It wasn't the sort of build that was hulking, but merely the sort that left little to the imagination; he was definitely strong - wrapping a hand around one of his biceps would be no easy feat.

I lifted my eyes to his face, deciding that I wouldn't be able to guess just what sort of inquisitor he might be by drinking in his good looks, but through his expression. As expected, he wore the typical S.H.I.E.L.D. mask, the smirk no longer noticeable, having left without a trace.

He was ruggedly handsome however, even if severe, with a strong jawline and sharp, hollowed cheekbones. His hair was a dark russet color, yet noticeably unkempt which was different from most S.H.I.E.L.D. agents - I couldn't think of one who ever seemed to have a single lock out of place - and the subtle hint of a goatee traced a pattern around his thin, pale lips.

His eyes locked on mine as he sat down, a startlingly clear green colour that could have knocked the wind out of me. They were just the same colour as Loki's eyes.

I blinked, shaking my head involuntarily and looked back at him, unable to help feeling foolish as I found a light blue gaze meeting my own instead of the familiar green hue. I'd been imagining it was all, wistfully hoping to see something I knew.

_Such a fool._

"I see they've wasted no time in cuffing you." The agent's voice was quiet, accented with a thick Scottish brogue. It was almost taunting and he glanced up at me as he opened the file that housed my information and notes from my previous questionings.

"They thought it might be for the best after the little incident I had," I replied, frowning, and lifted my hands just enough to show him that I was fully immobile, restricted by the cool metal of the handcuffs that bound my wrists to a bar protruding from the tabletop. I couldn't help but smirk at him as I thought of how I had thrown my water in Matthews's face.

"I see they've also resigned you to having a lid on your drinks like a child," he continued, dropping his gaze back to the file before him and he read it slowly, scanning the notes while I waited, curious to see what this one might cook up for me that the others had not, if anything at all. He already seemed more entertaining than the others, more inventive. They'd been plenty smart, but horribly dull, horribly simple with their questions.

"So are you going to tell me your name, Agent?" I asked, somewhat tartly.

He lifted his gaze to my own again, "Tavin, Beck Tavin."

"Is that like Bond, James Bond?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Agent Tavin sneered at me, "I've heard plenty about your humour, Miss Alexander, so while you may think yourself clever, I suggest you refrain from your usual antics today. I wouldn't want to make this any more painful for you than it already will be."

I set my jaw, holding his gaze for a few moments and then folded my hands on top of the bar obediently, waiting for him to continue on and begin his line of questioning.

"What is your full name?" he asked me, looking up at me finally. I rolled my eyes, looking away from him.

"You're kidding me," I scoffed. "The test questions again? Don't you people ever get tired of them?"

"Answer the question, Miss Alexander."

I sighed heavily, attempting to ignore how I hated the test questions, how I had no patience for them, and then said lowly, "Raleigh Alexander, no middle name."

"Date of birth?"

"September 18, 1993."

He smirked at me, "Very good. Place of birth?"

"New York, New York."

"Thank you," he nodded, scribbling down my answers on his sheet. "I'm now going to ask you some very simple questions relating to your time with Loki Laufeyson, I ask that you answer these questions with as much honesty and accuracy as possible."

"That won't be a problem," I replied, frowning, "it's not like my answers ever change."

"Oh, but the questions do, Miss Alexander," Tavin smiled at me and I felt a strange weight settle in my stomach at the look, unsure of just what he was getting at. "What is your relationship with Loki Laufeyson?"

"I don't have a relationship with him."

"Were you in one?"

"That depends upon who you ask," I shot back.

"I'm asking you, Miss Alexander, were you in a relationship with Loki Laufeyson?"

I stared at him, my eyes narrowing at the invasiveness of the question, I was used to being poked and prodded about Loki, but I didn't like having my personal life or relationship questioned. None of the other recent agents had used the same tactics as Matthews, but Tavin was for whatever reason.

"Can you define relationship for me?" I asked him, keeping my voice steady despite the fact that I longed for little else than to wipe the self-satisfied smirk off of Agent Beck Tavin's face with a sharp blow from the palm of my hand.

He scoffed, "Miss Alexander, I ask you kindly to please not feign ignorance with me, you know perfectly well what it is that I am asking of you."

"Sorry," I lifted my shoulders in a small shrug and unfolded my hands, lifting my palms in a mocking manner, "there are plenty of ways to be in a relationship. I wouldn't want to be dishonest."

"Nor would I want you to be," he replied, making a note that I found indecipherable from upside down. "So then allow me to rephrase my question since you believe it too complicated, were you in a business relationship with Loki Laufeyson?" I was silent, waiting for him to carry on and he did, "Or were you and Laufeyson friends? Did you work as cohorts to further his plot? Was your relationship a cooperative friendship relating to his business on Earth?"

That was perhaps the closest thing to the truth and I nearly said as much when Tavin pressed on, leaning across the table, dropping his voice lower, "Or were you two involved in a relationship that was of a sexual nature? Did you allow Laufeyson to rut against you at night and assist in tending to his business during the day under the pretence of returning to his bed like his whore?"

My face flamed scarlet and my hands jerked upwards involuntarily. I longed to strike out at Tavin for the words as they cut deeply, tearing at the weaknesses I was so desperately attempting to hide.

"We do not hit, Miss Alexander," he purred at me as he made a soft tutting noise, his hand pressed to mine so that he lowered my braced fists back to the bar. "So you were his whore then." He wasn't asking.

"I was not!" I told him hotly.

"Oh?" he arched a brow at me, hesitating from making a notation on his paper about the nature of my relationship with Loki, "Enlighten me then, Miss Alexander, tell me how he loved you and treated you like a Princess of Asgard, I'm very curious to hear how he might have loved you. Did he tell you as much?" I was quiet, my breath quickening despite my attempts at remaining calm. "Did Loki Laufeyson ever so much as whisper a sweet nothing in your ear that made you think you might be more than a pathetic, weak-minded trollop chosen to do his bidding?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it. What Loki had said to me, our pillow talk, was private. It wasn't for anyone else to hear but he and I, I wasn't about to change that, not for anyone, certainly not Tavin.

"What's the matter, Miss Alexander?" he leaned in again, "Do you not care to recall the truth? I might be ashamed as well if I found myself to be so pitifully weak that I committed treason against my entire race in the name of sex."

I strained against the cuffs for a second time and once more Tavin's hand covered my own, pressing my hands down again, he quirked an eyebrow at me, tutting again, "I suggest you behave, Miss Alexander, I wouldn't want you to get yourself in anymore trouble than you're already in. How curious that you have yet to learn from your mistakes."

"I didn't commit treason," I all but spat at him, ignoring the double edged words, "and whatever the case, my bargain wasn't made upon sex or my body and it's insulting that the general consensus is that I was his whore."

Tavin made a noise that sounded oddly like a scoff, "And who else has called you a whore? I'm all too curious to find what other agent might be bold enough to tell you the bitter truth of your nature."

I sneered at him. "Clive Matthews," I snapped, "I threw a glass of water on him and was hauled back to my room. Hence these," I showed off the cuffs again, raising my hands just enough to restrict my movement as the chain caught on the bar. "I'm sure you know all about it anyway," I added as an afterthought, "it's in my file."

Tavin searched through my file curiously, looking for Matthews's notes and made a soft noise as he found the paper with water stained letters. He scanned it curiously, his face clouded oddly as he read the report and then looked up at me, "My colleague may not be quite so lucky as I am to have you restrained," he said coolly, "but he was rather right in saying that you are an unresponsive subject…at least until motivated."

"I don't have anything different to say," I replied, gritting my teeth. "Like I said, the answers never change."

"Did you love him?" Tavin asked, ignoring my statement.

"Who?"

He lifted his gaze to mine, "Now, Miss Alexander, I wouldn't want to make you turn that delightful shade of red once again. Please cooperate and stop playing dumb."

I balled my hands into fists. "I don't know," I told him, honest.

"You don't know?" he sounded incredulous. "You risk your own life, face imprisonment if not death, and yet you _don't know_ if you love Loki Laufeyson?"

"You wanted an honest answer and now you've got it. Is it somehow not good enough for you?" I demanded. "I could have, I could have very easily if he wasn't aligned with Amora and Thanos, if he wasn't plotting the deaths of everyone I care about, but that's not what's happened. I can't tell you how I feel because I frankly don't know how I feel."

Tavin was oddly silent for a few minutes, his eyes locked on mine, and then he continued, "What were the terms of your bargain with Loki Laufeyson?"

I shrugged, "The details are all a bit foggy," I replied just as I had for the last several interviews, uninterested in explaining to them my personal life with the god.

His eyes narrowed, his tone turning sour, "Miss Alexander, I truly wouldn't want to make this difficult. I ask you not to force my hand."

"Whatever I tell you isn't going to matter," I returned.

"You think me incapable of helping you?" he arched an eyebrow. "Whether you care for the idea or not, Miss Alexander, I am here to help you. I am not here to act against you or to use what you give me to further punish you. Laufeyson has punished you far more than S.H.I.E.L.D. might ever hope to, I should think."

"You don't know anything about what was between he and I," I muttered bitterly.

"Then tell me," he murmured, leaning in. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing that would matter," I replied tersely.

"Were you aware of his involvement with the Enchantress Amora?"

"No," I shook my head.

"Did he ever speak of the Enchantress to you?"

_Yes._ "No."

"Were you aware of their involvement with Thanos?"

"No."

"Did Loki Laufeyson ever speak to you about Thanos?"

_Yes._ "No."

It was a promise I had made myself from the very first interview, I was only going to answer the questions that cleared my own name honestly, but none that further incriminated Loki and none that might incriminate me. It was part of why it had begun to take so long to finish my line of questioning. I refused to back down, to possibly act as an obedient prisoner and to answer all of their horrible questions.

Tavin finished writing down something in his notes and looked back up at me, his face giving away the first signs of mild agitation as he asked another question, "Did Loki Laufeyson ever address Ullr's Book with you?"

_Frequently._ "No."

Tavin slammed his hands down on the table, startling me and I jumped in my seat, staring at him in shock as he glowered at me, his face clouded with anger. "Why do you lie to me, Miss Alexander?" he demanded, his voice barely more than a growl. "Do you think me stupid?"

I took the bait, no longer caring, my patience long lost. "I think you presumptuous and pompous," I snapped at him, "you're foul and horribly petty, but no different than any of my other inquisitors. I thought you might be more interesting than them, cleverer, but you ask just the same tired questions as any of the others. I'm hardly the pathetic one, you are." I turned to mocking him now, "All of you are just mindless, stupid drones working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and you honestly believe the bullshit that they spew. How do you live with yourself when you know that they can off people like me at any time just because they damn well please? Do you sleep well at night?"

He seized my empty cup, ripped the lid off and slammed it down on top of the microphone in the table, effectively blocking out the recording devices that had been monitoring our conversation for the entire duration of the interview. I could feel my blood run cold at the act and I grew nervous for the first time as my eyes shot upwards while he stood, the metal legs of the chair scraping angrily on the cold linoleum floor.

"Pathetic?" he snarled at me, incredulously. "Look at you!" his voice rising, "You sit in a room defending a murderer like he's a lover that you've lost in a tragedy, have you no sense? Are you so horribly attention starved and devoid of any common decency, any common goodness that you might preserve your own self?" Tavin slammed his hands on the table again, rougher now, and carried on, "Do you think him so kind as to return to you? That he might seek you out?"

When I didn't immediately respond, Tavin leaned in so close to me, his eyes flashing dangerously, that he was barely more than a breadth away from my lips and I could feel the movement of his own as he spoke, his voice a growl again, "You were his whore, his puppet, you are _nothing_ to him and you live an illusion. I may be a great many things, Miss Alexander, but I am by no means pathetic."

I was silent, staring at him as he pulled away and breathed in deeply, then said, "You shouldn't get so upset, Agent. They might have to handcuff you next time."

He sneered at me, leaning across the table so that we were close once more. His voice was barely a whisper, "Upset is far from what I am, Miss Alexander, I relish this. You spend a month with no emotion, no gall, giving the same answers to your interviewers, and now you finally show your colours to me. You dare to think me naive to just what you were to him? That I might neglect to note that you might have carried his seed?"

My hands managed to grasp his tie, but were promptly ripped away, one of his hands seizing my chin between his thumb and forefinger roughly, holding me still with such force that it hurt and I squirmed desperately in his grasp, scared for the first time by the agent and all that he knew.

"Mock me, Miss Alexander, I beg you to do it again."

I was silent, still, staring at him with wide eyes as I let the horror of his words sink in. I didn't want them to be true, I wanted them to be lies and nothing more than that. But he knew. He knew about my pregnancy, about the loss, and he was taunting me about it heartlessly with how he looked upon me, gloating, proud.

"Call me pathetic," he dared me once more. "Are you too scared?"

I remained still, heart pounding in my ears, and let my eyes lock on his own. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he released me, tearing his hand away. He paced the room wildly, his eyes locked on me where I sat, chained to the table, forced to endure this torture for however long he chose to make it last.

He came around the table suddenly, his movements quick, and slammed his fist down on the table, his voice rising to nearly a shout, "You are at my disposal, Miss Alexander. You are here to bend to my whims, to follow my every order and I encourage you to acquiesce. You've done a far greater job than I might have ever imagined you capable of and by the looks of your past behaviour, I might think it simple for you to bend to another man."

I turned, incensed, and glared at him with all of my might, wishing bitterly that he might be able to understand my unspoken words.

"I haven't made you angry, have I?" he mocked, cocking his head to the side. "Miss Alexander, surely you prepared yourself for this with your promises to yourself, your constant rehearsals of the same, bored, monotonous answers." I froze, eyes widening just enough to tip him off to my shock and he took the opportunity readily. "Oh, so I haven't. I've shocked you though. You weren't expecting that?" he taunted, his voice cruel. When I continued to sit in silence he drew very close to me, his voice growing loud, "WHY DO YOU LIE?"

I flinched at the noise, turning my head away and he seized my chin with the same vice like grip, turning my head back to face him, his eyes locked on mine were dangerous, angry, and I let out a soft whimper, truly scared of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for the first time.

"Tell me the truth," he snarled, "do not lie to me. You think I know you now? Imagine how much pain I might bring you if I unveil more, if I slice at the wounds you can barely heal yourself."

"There's nothing I can tell you that's going to change anything," I whispered to him, fearful. "It's too late to change anything and I'm not going to betray my personal affairs. I've told S.H.I.E.L.D. everything I know and can think will help..."

He slammed the palm of his hand down on the table, "That's not enough!" he roared. He pulled the chair around roughly so that I faced him, jerking the cuffs roughly against my wrists as he turned me, and I stared up at him, cowering. Yet to my own amazement, he wasn't shouting any longer, instead his voice dropped so low that I could barely hear his words. He sounded desperate, like he was pleading with me.

"Why do you protect him?"

"I-I..." I shook my head, spluttering a reply. "I care about him," I whispered, "can you blame me?"

Tavin's face twisted and he pulled away from me quickly, pacing the room again with frantic, chopped motions. He ran his hand through his hair and then turned to look at me, hesitating for a moment before he advanced upon me once more. His strides were long, quick, and he seized the arms of the chair as he came near to me, getting directly into my face as he questioned me, "Do you truly believe he would ever think you cared?"

Searching my face for some kind of answer, he carried on, his eyes flashing brilliantly, dangerously, wild with emotion, "Do you think he might believe that when his own father cast him out?"

Tavin's eyes were locked on my own, swirling with colours that I couldn't quite place. Yet they were light green again, the same brilliant green I knew from rising every morning beside the man - no, the _god_ - who had such a piercing gaze.

It couldn't be. It was impossible.

"Why do you protect him?" Tavin sounded desperate again, angry even. "Why do you protect him when they chain you like a wild beast and keep you locked away? He knows not what you do, he would not do the same for you, so why do you insist on protecting him from what he so rightly deserves?"

"My motivations aren't any of your concern," I whispered breathlessly. "All that matters is what I tell you and I've told you everything I know, I don't know why he's working with Amora or Thanos, I didn't know he was working with them, I didn't know about his plans or his motivations, I only bargained to help him find the Book of Ullr and he didn't get into why with me. The rest doesn't matter, it was a game to him and I was a fool but I still care about him and I know that what was said then won't matter to furthering your case."

"_Liar!_" Tavin spat at me and he slapped me, the blow so rough that my head snapped to the side, my world going dark before it refocused, spinning out of sorts as my cheek stung angrily. I turned my head slowly, world spinning as tears began to form at the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill from them. I looked up at him, his face blurred by my tears, and gaped, shocked that he would have struck me.

I continued to stare at him in horror, rendered speechless, when the door of the room suddenly swung open.

Several guards streamed into the room, Steve leading them. To my surprise, Steve made his way towards me, his face determined, serious, while two of the guards seized Tavin's arms to haul him away from me, the third lingering nearby. Steve pulled the key to my handcuffs from his trouser pocket, unlocking the cuffs around my wrist as I continued to stare at Tavin, my tears now leaking down my face involuntarily.

As the tears streamed down my cheeks, hot, I blinked furiously, embarrassed, angry; I kept my gaze on him though, watching as he bowed his head when I was pulled to my feet suddenly, Steve's hand gentle on my arm. I glanced up at him, surprised by the lightness of his touch after having been hauled about by S.H.I.E.L.D. guards for so long. He didn't say a word, but instead led me towards the doors where Nick Fury stood, glowering with rage, and then out into the long white hall to the elevator that would take me to my quarters and far away from Beck Tavin.

* * *

**A/N:** _Right, as promised, 31 is up in a decent time frame! Whoop! Anyway, I can't make any promises about when I'll next be posting as I've to write a few very large essays and will be out attempting to socialise myself with other humans rather than my pillow._

_That aside, please read and review. It always makes my day to hear your opinions, whatever they may be, and I always appreciate any sort of feedback._

_And also, as always, thanks to anyone who favoured/followed the story!_

* * *

**Reviews:**

**MsChanandaler****:** Oh thank you so much! :) Glad you enjoy it!  
**DMMD****:** Thank you! I still really appreciate hearing it. :)  
**MollyNK****:** Ah, no, you don't live under that much of a rock! No guilt from me. Jeez! I hope you did well on your midterms despite your staying up as late (early?) as you did! Best of luck with the rest. And it'll come in due time. :) Thank you very much though!  
**Kakashi Forever****:** I'm beginning to think most people will be surprised by what happens between Raleigh, Loki, and Amora. More or less hoping that everyone is willing to bear with me.  
**Loki'sdreamer****:** "Hard" is the understatement of the year for when they finally are back together. :p More on that later though!  
**Kearabee****:** Well, that makes me very happy to hear. My greatest fear was to create a Mary Sue, but I've heard from enough people that they think she's an idiot at times, but that she has redeemable qualities, to know that she's not. As for Loki and Amora, there is something unsettling to their relationship, I'd say that's the proper term for it really because it's not a very stable or, as you said, healthy relationship. There's a lot of betrayal between the two of them, they value each other but they don't - if that makes sense. And thank you! I very much appreciate that, though I have to confess that it's just something that's become habit to me. I think quality and I think fleshed out and full bodied chapters; I feel like anything less would be a disappointment. I suppose it comes from actually working on a real novel rather intensely. Maybe. I don't know. I'm probably just neurotic. Thanks again! :D  
**KMD88****:** I don't know, is it your birthday? :p And I added some Steve for you when I was editing, just like I promised. :) I'm glad you liked the last chapter and here's hoping you enjoyed this one just as much. :D  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Ha! Well, that was somewhat the intention... And I don't know if I'd call it a cat-fight. I do know how it's going to pan out when Amora finds out, but I wouldn't say that she's going to let Raleigh have any hits, if you catch my meaning. And thanks! I just might make it there, not too sure yet.


	32. Mea Culpa

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any characters besides for those that are original; all others are strictly licensed to Marvel comics and their respective creators. Any liberties I've taken with them within the plot of this story are only possible through the generous permission of Marvel and their writers. All else is, however, mine and mine alone. Cheers.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Mea culpa**

It was several hours before Fury finally arrived at my door with a loud knock.

I answered it slowly, staring at him for a few moments suspiciously as I noted the stern expression on his face and the unusual absence of the guards that flanked the doors to my chambers and occasionally accompanied visitors inside.

"Director Fury," I greeted quietly.

"Raleigh," he nodded. "Don't suppose you'd care to invite me inside?"

I stepped aside, extending my arm out welcomingly, "Please," I bowed my head slightly as I continued, "do." I waited patiently and allowed him into the small quarters that I'd been allotted by the organisation he commanded. There wasn't much to behold really, perhaps a few of my own random trinkets, books, and some various papers littered the floors and tables, but nothing of serious value. He'd be hard pressed to find anything interesting. However, he strode past me without a word, his eye roving over the room curiously for a moment before he turned to face me.

"I see you haven't done much to the place," he remarked casually. "Not comfortable?"

I rolled my eyes, unwilling to hold my tongue, and said sarcastically, "I don't know, the whole prisoner chic thing is very in. I mean, that's what the interior designer told me when I moved in."

Fury ignored me, instead inspecting one of my papers that littered a tabletop, he tapped it as he glanced up at me. "I presume this is your schoolwork?"

"Some," I replied shortly and I watched as he leafed through the pages in silence, scanning my notes no doubt for clues that would give him invaluable information on Loki. "There's nothing important there," I told him at last, growing weary of his inspection. "Mostly stuff that's mine and my thoughts. Usually just me berating myself for being an idiot."

He faced me more fully as I lingered beside the doorway and raised his eyebrows, "Is that what you think?" he asked me, but before I could respond he carried on, "I'm not here to waste your time, Miss Alexander. I've come to inform you personally that you will no longer be subject to interviews. S.H.I.E.L.D. has finished their evaluation of you and determined that you are not a threat to the human populace," he told me, holding my gaze.

I crossed my arms over my chest, scoffing, "It's a bit coincidental that it took until one of your agents hit me for you lot to realise that and get it through your thick heads."

Fury dropped one of the papers he'd been holding and, for a moment, I thought he might respond to the barb, but instead he simply said, "You've been identified as an asset, however, and we will be holding you in our custody for your continued protection. At 20:00 tonight, you will receive word regarding your new living arrangements in Stark Towers and you will be moved. I expect that you will be ready to move into your new quarters promptly."

"An asset?" I echoed, raising my eyebrows.

"We believe that while you are innocent you are valuable to our cause."

"So, basically, I'm a pawn." I nodded, continuing on venomously, "He used me for _his _cause and now you're using me to lure him our or whatever for _your _cause?"

He was silent, simply staring at me, and while I knew little of Fury, I did know he wouldn't attempt to sugar coat my purpose to me on account of my feelings. I was a pawn and I knew I was a pawn; Fury wasn't about to try telling me otherwise. We both knew that.

"You are an _asset_," he repeated himself at last, stressing the word.

"Six of one, half a dozen of another," I muttered bitterly. "You say asset, I say pawn. The goal is still the same though, isn't it? Lure him out with the stupid mortal girl and snatch him up before he kills everybody?"

"My way sounds more formal," Fury replied casually. "Yours is demeaning."

I bit back a derisive laugh, "Since when has what's demeaning and what's not mattered?" I asked him sourly, temper beginning to flare. "Isn't it just as demeaning to lock me away and question me for days on end like I'm some kind of prisoner?"

"In case you have forgotten, Miss Alexander, our world is on the verge of intergalactic war. Your feelings are less imperative to me than finding out the truth as to what exactly is going on. It is my job to protect this Earth and if you find my methods demeaning, that is your business. To me, it sounds like a personal problem. However, I maintain that you are presently an asset and due to the nature of your situation, you are under the protection of S.H.I.E.L.D., but more specifically the Avengers Initiative, until further notice."

I set my jaw before I nodded slowly, "Fine," I managed to get out. "Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that. You're right that my feelings pale in comparison to the bigger picture, but why now? Why did it take until _now_ for you lot to accept that I've been nothing but a pawn in all of this?"

Fury was silent again and he surveyed my room a final time before he looked back at me, "Pack your things and be ready for transport by 20:00. You'll be moved then." And with that said, he walked from the room, leaving me alone to my thoughts with my questions unanswered.

* * *

Several hours later, I sat upon the sofa's cushions, my hands resting upon my knees and my rucksack beside my feet. My mind was blank for the first time in what felt like aeons and it was oddly refreshing. There wasn't any chatter, any emotional struggle, I was simply, for a time, existing. For however long this had gone on, I had been living in a state of constant chaos, but now, now I was just sitting and existing in a strangely empty way. It was nice.

A sudden knock came at the door and I jumped slightly, surprised to hear it. Getting to my feet, I allowed my eyes to wander over the room a final time before I shouldered my rucksack, not wanting to waste any more of my time upon the memories that were held inside of the rooms. I didn't want to think of Loki, not now, not after having seen Tavin's eyes. If it had gotten to the point where I was hallucinating…. I shook my head as I made my way towards the door, reminding myself that I needed to stop. I had to stop before I started. It was better this way.

I pulled open the door, my eyes growing slightly as I came face to face with Tony.

"Tony," I greeted, nodding slowly, "this is..."

"A pleasant surprise?" he suggested to me, his eyebrows quirking up. I frowned at him and his face grew serious, "Right. Let me take that, you look like you're going to fall over if you carry it." I allowed him to reach out, taking my bag which he slung across his back, and then he turned, making motion to follow him.

I did so slowly, frowning as I left the room and passed the two guards who had stood at their post day and night, leaving me think I was guilty of something far greater than simple foolishness.

"So they sent me you?" I asked Tony, boarding the familiar white elevator after him. "That's cute."

"You know me," he shrugged, "even kittens pale next to just how adorable I am."

I snorted, watching as the doors of the elevator slid shut before I looked over at him, studying him closely for a moment. "I'm staying in Stark Towers? That's what Fury told me."

He nodded, watching the numbers above the doors as we neared the main floor of the building that would lead us out into the reception area and eventually to the bustling city. "It was Steve's idea."

"Steve thought it was a good idea to stick me in Stark Towers?" I arched a suspicious eyebrow at him and he glanced over at me, nodding. "I find that hard to believe," I muttered, looking down at my feet.

"Locked up for two and a half months, I'd think you'd find a lot hard to believe."

I winced, surprised to hear just how long it had actually been and then leaned back against the wall of the elevator, closing my eyes. Two months. _Two._ I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, wearily. I didn't want to dwell on this. Not on the questionings, on the sleepless nights. It was over, all of it was finally over.

"You all right?" Tony asked me and I opened my eyes to see that he was staring at me, his face a mixture of concern and seriousness.

I shook my head, honest with him, "Not really," I said faintly.

He waited a few moments, as if he were hoping I'd continue, but when I didn't he nodded, his tone understanding as he said, "Well, let's get you to bed then. Are you hungry?"

* * *

I sat beside the large window that overlooked the bustling street below, my knees drawn up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs. At my feet lay a newspaper and a short way away sat a plate that had been filled with food a short while ago. It'd been nice to have a proper meal - potatoes, fresh salmon, and greens - for the first time in ages and I felt incredibly full. Tony had kept his distance for the most part, allowing me to wander around the upper levels of Stark Tower while he stayed in his workshop. I'd been given the freedom to roam the halls and do as I pleased, Jarvis was at my disposal for most things, and while I'd been given a curfew that I was required to obey except in special, S.H.I.E.L.D. approved circumstances, I was allowed to come and go when I wanted.

It was more like being fifteen again than nearly twenty. I had so many rules suddenly, it was all so stifling. I didn't feel my age at all though, I felt strangely older, perhaps from my weariness, from having dealt with so much in the last several weeks. I didn't know exactly what it was but I suddenly felt the weight of all that had unfolded from the autumn bearing down upon my shoulders, resting heavily upon me like a weight I could never hope to lift. The newspaper at my feet had talked of the upcoming Independence Day celebrations. It was June. _June. _I had felt sick at the prospect, my stomach turning over when I realised just how much time I had lost. July was Ben's birthday. My little brother would be turning sixteen in a matter of weeks. Deep inside of me, a part of me cynically wondered if he would even live to see his birthday, if _I _would.

If what S.H.I.E.L.D. said was true, then it would only be logical that I was a target for Loki and Amora. Thanos, well, I had to imagine that anyone who would allow the chitauri to attack one of his servants would be more concerned with the entire human race being eradicated than just one measly little mortal. Coming to terms with the idea of living on borrowed time wasn't something I was doing well with. I'd been sitting at the window, staring out at the blackened night sky for the last hour, my body position taut and unchanged as I thought about it.

I could accept it, in fact I did accept it, but that didn't make the entire ordeal any easier. For I was left wondering just how I could handle it. I'd done most of the things people wanted to, I supposed, I'd had a beer, had sex, gone to see distant parts of the world... That didn't exactly help matters though. I knew that no matter how I tried to argue with myself that I was going to lose. For so many years, I'd been weak and foolish and followed along merrily after whoever I'd been with whether it was Jenny or my mother or anyone else, including Loki. That wasn't living.

Not even this, living in Stark Towers with the freedom to explore every nook and cranny of it, was living. I was still being hawked over by S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, I was still treated like a child. I would've been an idiot to try to argue otherwise.

I sighed deeply, tilting my head just enough to rest it against the glass, then closed my eyes as my forehead made contact with the warm pane. Below the tower, hundreds of thousands of people were milling about, happily going about their lives and enjoying their night - I was almost certain it was a Friday - out. None of them had any idea of what kind of threat they were being faced with and the idea turned my stomach over. I might not have been a guilt party in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s investigation, I might have been cleared, but I had still helped to bring the threat of war to my own planet. I had unknowingly condemned who knew how many people to die because I had been stupid, selfish, and headstrong.

It was a sobering thought.

"Jarvis said you've been up here for a while," Tony's voice was quiet from behind me and I made no moves to turn towards him. I watched from the corner of my eye as he approached me at the window and sat down on the window seat some ways away from me.

"What do you want?" I asked him, flicking my gaze towards him for a moment. "More rules or something? Am I not allowed to have ice cream after ten?"

He smiled grimly, "No," he shook his head. "For all I care you can eat ice cream for breakfast. Just thought you might like some company. I don't remember you being a hermit."

I smirked, then looked away, back out at the tops of the other skyscrapers, my vision barred from the sprawl of Manhattan by the blanket of night. I missed the skyline, the way the skyscrapers glinted in the warm sunlight, their windows refracting light and shining like precious gems. I had loved London, but New York was home, just as it always had been and even being stuck inside, kept locked inside of Stark Towers for the night, left me feeling strangely warm. I was home, I was back in Manhattan, back among the streets I'd grown up walking down, the subways that rattled through cramped tunnels at all hours, with street vendors and people of every walk of life. This was nothing like London and even as I sat still, getting my strength back as Tony called it, I felt a strange exhilaration in knowing that I didn't have to leave and that I was free to be in my city again.

"I'm sorry," Tony said abruptly and I turned in surprise, shaken from my thoughts. "I really am," he continued, his eyes meeting mine now. "I didn't realise how close you were to this whole thing, if I had..."

This was a conversation I didn't want to have. Not with Tony, not with anyone.

"You were doing your job," I mumbled, shaking my head.

"Doesn't matter. What happened the last couple months shouldn't have. What you've been through shouldn't have ever had to happen."

I looked down at my feet and then nodded, "It did though and we can't change that." I hesitated a few moments before I sighed heavily, conceding, "I made a huge mistake anyway, I just assumed I knew what I was doing... I should've stayed with you that day."

Tony was quiet and he hung his head slightly, then looked out over the city, "If you need to talk to anyone about..." trailing off, he waved his hand, his words unspoken and I nodded.

"I'd come to you, don't worry," I murmured. I wasn't lying to him now, I would have gone to him and I had a feeling that I soon would be going to him and that it would become a habit. He knew what being caged felt like, how maddening it truly was. After a few moments, I licked my lips nervously, my tongue scraping over the chapped skin, and I looked back at Tony, "When you were in Afghanistan, what happened?"

He looked at me, searching my face for a few moments as he considered my question and he sighed, letting out a long breath. He rubbed his face slowly, a frown pulling the corners of his lips downwards, deepening the age lines of his face. He was quiet, "The Ten Rings, which is a terrorist group that's a bit like Al-Qaeda, ambushed my humvee while I was making my way back to base after a test with one of my new products," he told me. "All of the soldiers I was with, they're dead. They killed them to get to me and I got hit with shrapnel in a blast. They'd gotten a hold of one of my own rockets and launched it on us..."

He reached up, tapping the centre of his chest and my gaze fell to the area I knew his arc reactor rested, "Now I've got this for a ticker."

"What about when you were their prisoner?" I asked him, voice faint.

"Questioned, threatened, they wanted me to build them weapons to use against the US troops. We designed what was called a Jericho missile for Stark Enterprises and we had been marketing it to the higher ups before I was taken; that's what they wanted."

"What did it do?"

"It works a bit like a nuclear detonation," he said, his face grim, "there's an initial blast radius followed by a second wave with a much wider breadth of destruction. The shockwave can shatter glass from kilometres away. It would effectively destroy any camp and any incoming aid. They made a deal with Yinsen, the physicist who grafted the prototype of the arc reactor into me, and I for one. We both knew they wouldn't keep their word though, so we built a suit instead and that's how I became Iron Man."

"What happened to him?"

"Who?" Tony raised his eyebrows at me.

"Yinsen," I murmured, my eyes meeting his own.

Tony's face fell and he picked at the fabric of his trousers, suddenly seeming very weary. He looked back at me, explaining, "He was killed during the escape. They shot him."

I sat quietly, chewing on the inside of my cheek before I asked, "Could you sleep when you came home?"

"No," he shook his head, his smile sad. "Not for a while. I still have nightmares about it sometimes and I can smell it, taste the dust on my tongue again, everything is vivid."

"Did you feel guilty?" I asked him, "Those soldiers...they - they died because of you. I mean, you felt bad, right?"

Tony seemed to sense my distress and he stood, walking to where I sat on the window seat. He motioned for me to move over and I did so, allowing him to sit beside me. He was quiet for a few minutes, pondering an answer to my question, and he pulled his knees up to his chest as well, mimicking my posture. Finally, he looked at me, "I feel guilty every day for what I did. It never goes away when you know that you were responsible for what happened."

"You weren't responsible," I mumbled, wringing my hands in my lap. "Not entirely."

"I was," he disagreed, "I made weapons and I put them at risk by being there. I'm Tony Stark, you'd think I might know when I'm a wanted man." He nudged me gently and I looked up at him to find that he was looking down at me with a faint smile, "It's not all bad, you know."

"I've helped a madman to get a Book that can kill or enslave seven billion innocent people, I'm pretty sure that ranks up there with really bad. Like, people are going to want to kill me bad."

"Well, maybe, but no one knows what you did so you don't have to worry about that last part," Tony said, tilting his head slightly to the side as he considered what I was saying.

"_Tony_."

"Look," Tony said, "the way I see things is that you can either go ahead and take it all as negatives. You were in a tough spot, S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't treat you well, I'm not going to deny that, but now you're in the clear and you've got the chance to do something to make it better. I had the chance when I came home and now you get that chance."

"Well, I didn't exactly come out of S.H.I.E.L.D. with an arc reactor or a prototype for an Iron Man suit," I snapped before I could stop myself. I winced, realising what I had said and bowed my head in shame, "Sorry."

"Don't be," he reached out, patting my knee gently with his hand.

"I'm not all right," I murmured, looking up at him. "I feel paranoid all the time now and I can't sleep or eat and I can barely think straight. I don't feel like myself anymore."

"That's why I'm sorry," he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and his gaze met my own, his dark eyes soft, compassionate. "If I knew what would've happened, I never would have let them get to you. I never would've helped them get to you. You're just a kid caught in the crossfire; you shouldn't have been dragged down like this. Even Steve said it, war's no place for a kid."

I sucked in a sharp breath at the words, remembering. _War is coming, Raleigh, you are not made for it. _All this time later and it still burned with white-hot intensity inside of me, the memory painful.

Unwilling to allow the conversation the end, I forced myself to speak, my voice hoarse. "You didn't know," I shrugged. "None of you did."

Tony hesitated, then, "You'll get better." He watched as I rubbed my face, a smile stretching my features for the first time as I resisted a laugh, "I'm not saying right away. You're not going to start sleeping or eating or even feel right. When you're alone, when you feel like you don't have anyone you get desperate. You go into survival mode, as they say. You're in it. You did a hell of a lot better than anyone could've guessed you would."

"And if I don't?" I asked him, looking back at him. My eyes narrowed and I continued on, "If I'm always like this? What if things don't get better for me?"

"They're not going to be the same, Raleigh," Tony shook his head. "If that's what you're expecting you may as well give up on that. You'll get better but you're not going to go back to normal."

"But I don't like it."

"Give it time." His voice was soothing, calm, and I turned from him again, looking out the window as my mind raced.

"I don't want to give it time," I argued. "I'm just wasting time and I'm wasting your time and everyone's time. He's not going to come back for me, this is just a waste of your efforts. You guys should be out there looking instead of babysitting me."

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, it's actually just me babysitting you. And they are looking, you should know that. You're beating yourself up about this and it's not going to help you any."

"I just..." I shook my head, turning to look at Tony. I struggled for a few moments, unsure of how to phrase it, and then, finally, the words tumbled out quickly, "I feel so stupid. I thought that I knew what I was doing and now I've gone and put everyone and everything in harm's way and it's all my fault and I can't even fix it. I'm not even _me_."

"Hey," Tony shook his head, "hey now. Don't be like that."

"I'm not though," I shot back, a lump rising in my throat, "I'm some snarky, paranoid freak. And don't tell me that I'm not, I know that people think that at S.H.I.E.L.D., they don't like me at all. I just want to go back and I want to change it and I want to stop myself from ever getting involved in all of this. Because then it'd be better. I'd be better again. But I'm not now. I'm just this mess and I feel like ‑ like, I don't even know."

I stopped talking abruptly, a fresh wave of tears stinging at my eyes and Tony wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close to himself. I pressed my face to his chest, crying softly, and clung to him tightly. It was a relief to feel him beside me, to have someone steady me for the first time in so long, and I relished the contact.

"I'm sorry," I whispered feebly, choking back a sob. "I'm so sorry, Tony, I've ruined everything."

"Shh," Tony quieted me, his fingers gentle in my hair. "No one blames you."

"_I_ blame me."

He shook his head, "Don't."

I closed my eyes again, crying into his shirt as he held me close to himself. I didn't know if this meant Tony and I were to become friends again, if his apology was genuine, or if his words were true, all that I knew was that for the first time in months, I had physical contact that left me feeling safe. And it felt so incredibly good to feel safe again. It was all over, the worst bit had passed and I'd come out, perhaps scarred mentally, aged even, but I'd done it. And for the time being, all that mattered to me was feeling safe again, feeling secure, and believing, even against my better judgment, that I'd found a friend in Tony Stark again.

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**A/N****:** _I feel so proud of myself... I almost never update so promptly. I'm going to say that there are dark forces conspiring to allow me to write as much FF as I have been lately. Seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation!_

_Thank you to anyone who favoured or followed the story or myself, you're incredibly lovely and I appreciate you to pieces._

_Also, thanks a bunch to anyone who reviewed. Was very surprised by the response I got to the last chapter. Whew. Mind, it was very pleasant and I was extremely flattered. That said, please do read and review. I'm honestly very touched to know that people read my work and feel strongly enough about it to continue to do so, so any of your thoughts, no matter how good or bad, would certainly make my day a little brighter (and being as it is very rainy and windy in London, brightening my day should not be all that difficult - wretched weather)._

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**Reviews:**

**MollyNK****:** Of course you'll see! Not in this chapter, obviously, but soon enough I reckon. Could always just be that I really don't like S.H.I.E.L.D., but I reckon we'll find that out next chapter or so. :) I read your fic, was very well written for your first. Worth being proud of! Glad you think you did well on your midterms, they're horrid things.  
**KMD88****:** I posted a chapter, how much more do you want from me, woman? :p And I have this terrible image of you going, "hurr, hurr, hurr," in my head for some reason as you cough. Long story. It's just a horrifying meme that I think might make you laugh. Or go "hurr, hurr, hurr," if you're still sick. :p Seems to be the general consensus about Tavin, and he's definitely less infuriating than Matthews, not that that's all that hard. I'm sorry to you and Jess, I know I promised and I tried. But I had a date. And I couldn't miss that. But I did post in a timely fashion so it wasn't all lies! :D  
**Loki'sdreamer****:** I keep hearing that! Haha. Well, I suppose I could if I really wanted to, but after a certain point I find that characters tend to take on a life of their own if that makes any sense and really do influence the outcome of the story when they're "alive" in a way. So I don't think I'd feel right forcing anything on the characters, if it happens then it happens, but only if it happens to evolve out of something that was already there and is a natural thing. I'm a bit old school about my writing, big fan of Graham Greene's ideas about characters and what not. :)  
**Mija****:** Oh no! Don't be scared! I did promise it would get darker, but I don't think you ought to be kind of scared at all! I feel quite terrible for that!  
**Ellize Avalon****:** I like your theories, but you and I both know I can't say definitively one way or another. You'll just have to sit tight. :p They're both very clever theories and very well thought out though; I like it. It could have a good or bad ending, I think, I've not yet figured it out though I have an inkling as to where it's going to lead eventually. :) And I posted with relative quickness! So no hibernation mode this time! Whoop!  
**kearabee****:** You have your suspicions, too, eh? Seems there's a lot of that floating around... Thank you :) And I was happy to give Steve a little bit of face time. I didn't really incorporate much of him until this point and over the course of the next several chapters.  
**NoVacancyMind****:** Haha! The Loki is Tavin theory is unbelievably popular! :)  
**sidlewild****:** I think I'd like it to end well for them, as well as it can. But I don't know what's going to happen ultimately. There is a chance that it can go two ways and ultimately that's going to come down that how Raleigh and Loki develop over the course of the remaining rising action, climax, and the subsequent falling action. That's going to be the biggest influencing factor, I think. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and that I can remain unpredictable with it. It's quite nice to hear that as I sometimes fear I may fall into the formulaic rut. And no, no, thank _you__!_  
**Blackrosewitch****:** Thank you! :D  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Ahh, I can't tell! In the next chapter or two everything about Tavin will be resolved, I promise. I really want to spill the beans but I can't!  
**u. hv. find. out. ur. self****:** Yes indeedy. And thank you very much, ma'am. :)  
**Kakashi Forever****:** It seems like it, eh? You're in good company with a few others who have that same theory.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** **(30)** Hindsight is always 20/20. I have to admit I do feel a bit bad for him myself right now, but he's dug his own grave and he's got to learn at some point. **(31)** Hard not to feel for them at this point, methinks.  
**Poodle Warriors****:** I think that Loki's plan never really accounted for Raleigh becoming meaningful and he tried at the last minute to make amendments to it to accommodate his feelings for her as they grew, which backfired obviously. And it certainly won't be a joyous reunion. I can basically promise that now. :p As for Agent Tavin, I want to tell all my secrets, but I can't, not yet. Soon! And Amora, in my mind, is quite tragic because she wants acceptance but never quite gets it where she most wants it. Not genuinely, anyway.  
**Cassandra-Jayne****:** Ah, sweet deal. I'm glad to have blown your mind with that! Well, if you've been around for a while then you ought to know that I rarely ever answer questions that are important up front or with honest answers. I let the story do that, so don't worry! Had a lot of interesting theories posed about it being either Loki or Amora though. So a bit excited to finally pull the curtain back on that one! I'm glad that you enjoy the story as much as you do and to be quite honest, the thing with Stark was never something I really felt one way or another for. It was a device that - as you said - played into Raleigh's distrust for S.H.I.E.L.D. and, ultimately, that's all I really ever planned for it to be. It was never a serious prospect for her. I'm a diehard Tony/Pepper shipper so it simply couldn't be possible as far as I'm concerned. From here on out, Tony ends up taking a much more Uncle-esque role in Raleigh's life, which was also the original plan. So no hard feelings at all, is actually quite nice to hear something like that as a matter of fact. Cheers! xx  
**Purplenurpl****:** Oh no! I don't mind that it was sort of a random review, it was probably one of my favourites. Ever. That means an incredible amount to me to hear. I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how happy that made me when I woke up and checked my mails to see that review, it really meant a great deal to me and I appreciate it so very much. Thank you, really. It was lovely of you and I can't even begin to express my gratitude properly. Just, thank you!  
**Spazzilicious****:** Thank you! : ) And I like layers to my characters, Loki being no exception. Everyone has good and bad in them, he's no different. I think it's really imperative that I show that because it's what writing a great character (and a real, three dimensional one) is all about, I think. I'll endeavour to keep the chapters coming as promptly as I can! Thank you again!

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**Random Bit of Promotion and Such:**

_I really strongly recommend that if you're looking for other quality writers that you visit __**KMD88**__ (a personal friend of mine), __**Foreign**__**Nebula**__, __**ToryTigress92**__, and __**Molescout**__. I've passed a few nights reading their work and I enjoy it a tremendous amount. They're all very talented._

_Also, do check out __**MollyNK**__'s one-shot piece. I did read it over the other evening and was very impressed with the results of her first fic. It's quite good, I think._


	33. Infiltration

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Marvel characters mentioned within this text. All are licensed to their respective creators and generously on loan as my playthings when I have down time. All other characters of original origin, as well as the plot, are mine and strictly my own.

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**Chapter Thirty-Three: Infiltration**

He stared down at his hand, his eyes locked on his palm as he thought of how he had brought it across Raleigh's cheek so easily. He could still remember the sting of her cheek against his hand, the shock that had travelled up his arm, and how, deep within his guts, he had a suddenly profound sense of guilt burrow itself.

He had never hit her before.

No matter how many times he had thought to, had wanted to, he had always restrained himself. He'd been taught better than that; women were never to be struck. He would never so much have considered daring to strike Sif outside of their training grounds even if the opportunity presented itself and she proved to be vulnerable. It didn't matter that Sif was fully capable of throwing just as harsh a punch in return; it was beneath him, it was forbidden to him, and he had known better. Yet he'd struck Raleigh.

He closed his eyes, his hand curling into a tight fist as he recalled the rage that had swelled within him, uncontrollable, boiling hot, and how it had seized him. It had wrapped an iron-like grasp around his middle, twisting at his innards, pulling him over the edge until he'd snapped and -

It was no excuse.

He exhaled slowly, forcing himself to breathe, to steady himself from acting out again. It was no excuse that from moment he had walked through that door and seen her - seen _his _Raleigh - sitting at that table, a waif, nothing more than a ghost of herself and so cynical, chained and staring at him blankly that he had longed to trash every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for vengeance. He sought vengeance for the source of her pain, to end her misery, and yet, it wasn't a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who had caused brought such pain upon her.

He scowled as he was forced to recall, yet again, that it was _he_ who had been the source of her pain. If it hadn't been for him, she would never have been forced into this situation, forced to endure long hours of questioning that tested her mettle. Her spirit, at least, hadn't wavered. It was close, he'd seen it, seen how close she was to her breaking point. He'd attempted to comfort himself by arguing that this was the reason for his striking out as he had - for if he struck her, there would be no more reason for S.H.I.E.L.D. to defend their actions.

It wasn't nearly enough though. It wasn't enough to have endured being berated by Fury, dealt with being stripped of his supposed clearance and identification upon being terminated, and dismissed from the headquarters. It wasn't enough to know that Tony Stark had led Raleigh from the building that evening and to a car that brought them to Stark Towers, where he knew she would be safe, would be allowed her freedom. All of it had paled in comparison to what he truly desired.

He wanted blood.

More specifically, however, he wanted the blood of the agent who had dared to infer that she was nothing more than a whore. And so here he sat, shrouded in the dark shadows of the car park, waiting patiently for the man he knew to be Clive Matthews.

Raleigh would never forgive him for it, not with her pervading sense of justice and highfalutin morals; she would preach on about how murdering the lecherous bastard was wrong, cruel even. There was no need for her to know, however. She never needed to know that he brought swift justice and fair retribution down upon the man who had dared to say those words, had dared to look upon her and probe into the most intimate parts of her life.

She was his, his alone and no one else's. Perhaps it was petty, maybe even childish, but she was his alone and he would readily bring harm to anyone that dared to cause her distress. He was going to enjoy this, enjoy bringing pain to a man that had insulted her honour and desired to claim her as he had. He was no longer resigned to bend to Raleigh's perverse sense of goodness, he was free to do as he pleased once more. He was free to maim and defile any man that dared to encroach upon his territory, unwittingly or not.

If he could not hurt himself so seriously for having brought Raleigh such pain, then he hoped to find solace in destroying another that had caused her grief with harsh, perverse words. He had no patience for such antics anymore, he would do as he always did and do what he wanted.

A sudden noise in the distance caused him to lift his gaze from the concrete beneath his feet and his eyes darted around the car park curiously. He had spent hours waiting, watching as various members of S.H.I.E.L.D. exited the building to retrieve their vehicles from the garage and as they left, returning to their simple lives in their happy homes. He was waiting, predatory, and hopeful that this might finally be the owner of the dark sports car that sat nearby.

To his delight, the tall man with close cropped blonde hair turned the corner, passing a row of cars as he made his way towards his vehicle. One had was loosening the tie around his neck and with his free hand he fished the remote lock for his car from his trouser pocket. He tensed, watching as the agent continued on; he knew the gait, the face, every excruciating detail of the man before him. He had found the tape, studied it meticulously, and he was certain beyond any doubt that this man was to be the one that faced his wrath.

He reached for his belt, hand fastening around the dagger he had slipped into a holster and wrapped his hand around its hilt. The metal was cool in his palm and as Matthews turned his back, he moved quickly, silently. He unsheathed the knife from where it was hidden beneath his duster, finding that it was balanced and light in his grasp and advanced upon the agent as he unlocked the car.

He was upon the man in no time at all, seizing him by the hair at the nape of his neck as he pressed the cold metal of the dagger into his throat. He tutted softly as the agent began to struggle in his grasp and held tighter, his lips curving upwards in a smirk.

"Don't be foolish, Agent," he breathed in the man's ear. Matthews stiffened almost immediately, dropping his belongings, and he grinned wickedly, his lips hovering close to the man's ear as he spoke, "Do you know who I am?"

"Laufeyson."

"Oh yes," Loki purred in his ear as his eyes travelled down to the man's hip. "Very good." He released his hold on the man's head and removed the gun that had been strapped to the agent's waist, then tossed it across the garage. It clattered against the concrete somewhere in the distance and he returned to Matthews, pressing the blade closer to his throat. "I wouldn't want you to try anything heroic," he murmured. "You wouldn't be so stupid as to try to shoot me, would you?"

"No," came the reply. He could feel the man gulp and his smirk widened as he felt the fear wafting off of the mortal.

"Oh, Agent Matthews," Loki tutted, "it's hardly in your best interest to lie to me." He slipped his hand into his prey's trouser pocket and pulled out a thin cell phone, which he stared at for a moment before his eyes narrowed.

The idiot had called Fury.

Bastard.

He had wanted to drag this out, to make this last, and to bring Matthews more suffering than necessary. It was cruel, yes, perhaps even inhumane, but Loki wasn't known for his humanity and he never had been.

"You certainly are as stupid as I anticipated," he murmured, his hand tightening around the small device until it crunched between his fingers, the screen flickering before it darkened to black. He tossed the mobile phone aside, scowling, and returned to the agent.

"He'll get you this time."

Loki snorted, rolling his eyes. "Do you really think so?" he asked, dragging the blade of the knife across the man's throat lightly. How he wanted to kill the bastard, to gut him like an animal.

"We all knew you'd come back for her," Matthews's voice was nervous, a slight quaver to it as he attempted to bide his time. "We knew you'd never be able to stay away. It was only a matter of time."

Loki growled angrily, pressing the blade against the soft flesh of the agent's throat at the mention of Raleigh. He added pressure to the blade, his finger pushing the blade until a small trickle of blood fell from beneath the point, trickling down his throat to where it stained his white collar crimson.

"You dare to attempt to use her as leverage?" he hissed at the mortal.

Matthews let out a long breath, his eyes closing and he remained still, silent. He was scared then. Good.

Loki ground his teeth, forcing himself to remain calm and said, "You are but a fool. I wish to make a point to S.H.I.E.L.D. that they are sorely underestimating my abilities. And yet you believe Fury might be able to reach you before I have had my fill and kill you?"

"They're coming right now, you can kill me. They're still going to be here before I hit the floor and then it's all over for you."

Loki wrinkled his nose, resisting the urge to retch. It was pathetic to find a mortal that was truly so daft, so in line with all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s propaganda that he might be willing to lay down his life so easily. Instead of mocking his belief, however, Loki turned his head slightly, casting his gaze around the parking garage and lifted his hand, jerking his wrist slightly. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the locks sliding into place on the emergency exits and gates as they rattled down, effectively blocking their level from any intrusion. It was a truly welcome sound but nowhere near as delightful as the slight hitch in Matthews's breathing.

He opened his eyes just as Matthews seized his wrist, pulling his arm downwards as his elbow shot backwards and into Loki's middle. He let out a grunt, doubling over, and released his grasp on the dagger dropping it to the ground.

It clattered to the floor as Matthews rounded, bringing his fist across Loki's jaw in a strong punch. He staggered, catching his balance and watched as the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent scooped up the knife from where it lay on the ground, brandishing it at him.

Perhaps this would be enjoyable after all.

"You wish to fight me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at the man curiously. The man nodded, however Loki could see it, the flicker of fear in his eyes and the way his body tensed as he swallowed. He was scared.

Good.

His upper lip curled back as he sneered at the mortal and he stood still, waiting patiently as he readied himself for the charge. Matthews darted forward suddenly, raising the dagger high into the air and he brought it down quickly, slicing through the air in one fast motion before it found its way into Loki's chest. The agent let out a triumphant cry before he stopped, watching as the god before him disappeared, nothing more than an illusion.

"Surely you didn't miss me, did you, Agent?" Loki taunted as he stepped forward from behind the man. Matthews turned again, holding the weapon out in front of himself, his eyes narrowed.

"No tricks, fight this fair," he snarled.

Loki chuckled, spreading his arms out wide, "I pray that you might be more successful in your endeavours," he told the man. Matthews came forward again, slashing the knife when Loki again disappeared, earning an angry growl from his attacker as he sliced through thin air in vain.

"Coward!"

Loki's hand was tight on the mortal man's throat as he seized him from behind and he grasped the man's wrist, bringing the blade of the knife down and into his stomach in a single, sharp blow. Matthews let out a grunt, choking on his breath and Loki smirked, squeezing the mortal's throat, his fingers tightening around the man's windpipe.

"Sentiment," Loki growled as he pulled the knife away, "is not in my nature." He had no desire to play games with the mortal. Killing him was appealing, battling him with any honour was not. He released the mortal, watching as he fell to the ground, kneeling as he clutched his middle, blood pooling over his hands.

He brought his foot backwards before releasing a sharp kick to the man's side and he smirked as the Midgardian grunted, his face screwed up in pain again. Oh how he hoped that he had broken something else. Perhaps he ruptured something important? That would be all too delightful. He knew little of Midgardian anatomy, but he was certain that Raleigh would be aghast by it from the way she had screeched that very first night and that was enough for him.

"Do you still wish to do battle with me?" Loki taunted, staring down at the agent. He sneered again. "Are you not to protect your dear Earth?"

Matthews grimaced and much to Loki's surprise, he struggled to his feet, one hand covering the wound on his midsection while he raised the other, preparing to fight with him again. Loki couldn't recall having seen such foolishness among mortals, he could only recall Thor being so daft in past battles, risking his own neck to win a fight. He could feel his eyes widen slightly by the display. He was an absolute fool; too headstrong for his own good.

"With pleasure," Matthews hissed out between his teeth, his face determined.

Loki snarled angrily, moving far faster than the Midgardian was capable and grabbed the man's wrist, spinning him around as he twisted Matthews's arm, wrenching it upwards until it gave a sickening pop and the man let out a loud cry of pain. Satisfied, Loki released his hold on the man's wrist and instead seized the hair at the nape of the Midgardian's neck, pulling his head back to better expose the tender flesh of his throat. He pressed the blade of the knife to the man's throat, smirking as the man stilled.

The words were out before Loki could stop himself: "Why did you call her a whore?"

To his chagrin, the agent began to laugh, the sound painful and more like wheezing. Loki tightened his grip on the blonde locks, grinding his teeth together as he forced the mortal's throat towards the blade.

"It is about her," despite the pained tone to his voice, he sounded amused. "Killing me isn't going to change anything you know. Fury'll have your head and you'll lose her. I'll just be a martyr to the cause. Maybe then your little harpy'll see just what kind of monster you are."

Loki stiffened, forcing himself to remain composed. If he killed this man, then it would only lend to the theory that he was a beast and he wouldn't have Raleigh thinking that. Surely there was something equally debilitating, equally foul, that could be dealt to the man he held in his grasp.

There was a suddenly banging on the doors, the sound of muffled shouting, orders being given and Loki hissed out a breath in frustration. His magic would keep them from getting inside, yes, but this wasn't a welcome intrusion. He had hoped that Fury's men would take their time getting to the parking garage.

"I've no desire to kill you tonight," Loki growled. "As I told you, I simply wish to send a message to Nick Fury to stop underestimating my capabilities and more importantly to refrain from going near what is mine."

"Sounds like you've got a thing for her, too," Matthews grunted.

So insolent.

Loki flexed his fingers around the hilt of the dagger, desire burning within him to simply slit his throat from ear to ear as he had originally planned. He longed to be done with it. Matthews could bleed out, could die on the floor as he watched. He really didn't care what happened to this man, but the thought of Raleigh and what she would think...

It suddenly weighed very heavy upon his shoulders. He imagined her face falling as she learned of the attack on Matthews, her revulsion at what she would call cruel, her anger with him when she learned of his actions. He couldn't kill the damned mortal.

Damn and blast.

He couldn't do this, couldn't carry on as he wished for if he did, he would only be allowing S.H.I.E.L.D. to continue to lie to her, to fill her full of hate against him, and he already had enough to deal with when she was at last with him again. He did not need Matthews's blood staining his hands, tainting her view of him. She didn't need to think him any more of a monster than she already did.

"All of this?" Matthews rasped at him, breaking him from his thoughts. "All this hostage stuff just for a little message to your precious little whore?"

Loki tensed again, reminding himself to remain calm. "I'll allow you to go, Agent. You may serve as my messenger," he growled in the man's ear.

Matthews laughed again, the noise grating on Loki's ears and then he spoke, "Good. When this is all over, I'll take a message to her on your behalf. You won't have to worry, I'll take care of her for you."

Loki snapped, pressing the blade into the man's throat as anger welled inside of him and he leaned in close, breathing into the Midgardian's ear, "Don't make such assumptions. I said I will allow you to go free, but at a price."

Before the agent could respond, Loki dropped the blade, his free hand seizing a fistful of the cloth at the base of Matthew's back while he lifted the man up and over his head, into the air, and then he began to bend him. Loki ignored his struggling, his grunts and cries, and continued on as he bent the Midgardian's back.

Suddenly the man let out a scream as a sickening crack echoed in Loki's ears. He dropped the Midgardian to the ground, watching as he writhed on the floor of the garage, wailing in pain as his lower half remained immobile. His lips curved upwards into a sly smile and he crouched low, picking up his blade from the floor. Sheathing it, he returned to the Midgardian man, staring down at him.

Brown eyes stared back at him, filled with anguish, tears leaking from them, and he gripped the man's chin between his thumb and forefinger. He laughed softly at the sight, revelling in the sounds of the mortal's agony. He'd done worse than murder the conniving prick. The bastard would live with this for the rest of his life, a constant reminder of this night and his warning. He almost wondered if Fury would feel guilt for sacrificing a man like Matthews before he stopped himself, realising that it was pointless to question such an idea. Fury would feel some guilt, yes, perhaps even some pain, but nowhere near as much pain as Matthews had this evening.

Raleigh would hate him for this, would despise him with every moral fibre of her being. However it no longer mattered what she wanted. Fury had begun the war and Loki would see to it that the one thing he desired for himself, as his spoils, would not be harmed by anyone. This was merely the first battle he would fight, there would be far many more before he was certain that he had what he wanted and that she was safe with him.

He smiled down at the Midgardian man, watching as his eyes began to droop shut and he tapped the man's cheek lightly.

"You needn't worry about whores any longer, Agent Matthews."

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Apologies for the brevity of this chapter. I feel it should be a stand alone however, because, to me, it does state a lot about Loki's development and is something that shouldn't be followed immediately afterwards with a lighter piece from Raleigh's POV or even Loki's. It would, to me, feel like it'd been cheapened. Just my two cents on it. Next chapter will be more average._

_And on that note, the next chapter should be up sometime in the near future. That's actually a big fat lie because I have yet to write any of it and am planning on having a very busy weekend with my other half, so I apologise for any false hope given. I'm trying to tell myself I'm going to be good about posting though. Within the week though, unless something comes up._

_Right then._

_Thank you__ to anyone who favoured/followed the story and to anyone who left a comment or sent me a message. You're quite lovely and I'll endeavour to reply when I can (god knows I'm shit at PMs though)._

_And please, __**read and review**__. I truly appreciate it and your opinions and I can never say it enough._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Loki'sdreamer****:** It is a bit cute, I think. :) Definitely what she needs.  
**Cassandra-Jayne****:** I'm a big fan of canon couples in the Avengers fandom, so usually it's difficult for me to jump on board with any of the really well-liked ships (frostiron, thunderfrost, etc.) and I also am a snob about how such things are portrayed, so normally I don't find any that I like and, thus, none that are capable of converting me. Pepper and Tony are my favourites. Point being, it's not worth fearing much when it comes to me jumping the shark. I wanted to stay as close to canon as humanely possible while incorporating both the myth and original characters. I'm usually not one to fear much with. :) Plus, to be honest, I'd feel like Raleigh would be a Mary Sue then. She's meant to be pretty, sure, but not to the point where Tony would ever consider straying from Pepper seriously. That's cheap and very Mary Sue, I think. She's not some extraordinary beauty and was never meant to be. On the subject of the Avengers, just hold tight for the next few chapters. Now that I have Raleigh out of the questioning bit, I can really have a lot of fun with them and the fact that she's in New York. :)  
**Poodle Warriors****:** I think it's going to be a rocky reunion for the two of them as friends given everything that's happened since their fallout, but I do agree that it's the least of her concerns right now. She definitely is changing and becoming a darker character, you're very right about that. And that's something I want as I get closer and closer to the climax of the novel.  
**MollyNK****:** Loki and Raleigh sadly won't be back together (knowingly) for a while. Five chapters, maximum, probably with POV switches and leading up to the confrontation where she's taken back. Can't drop too many hints though! And you're quite welcome! It's a good piece and you're quite talented. I was pleasantly surprised that it was your first fic. :)  
**Ellize Avalon****:** You've got some really good theories, I do wish I could tell you what I've got cooking in my head for what happens post-battle. But, alas, I really can't as I'll spoil the whole thing for you. I don't think that, with where I have it going right now though, that there will be a sequel. It could change depending on the characters and the future, but I don't know. As for Raleigh finding someone else...well, you might be in luck with that sometime in the next 5 chapters. Not saying what or who, but there might be something there. And no, no, you're awesome! Thank you!  
**DMMD****:** Thank you! I really appreciate hearing that. :) I know I prattle on quite often about characters and wanting to characterise properly, but it's all quite true. I've made it my goal since I was about 13 or so to just create really raw and real characters when writing and knowing that I've reached that point in my writing universally is a huge milestone for me and I feel extremely proud and extremely flattered to hear that from readers. Can't even begin to tell you. Thank you, thank you!  
**amakitkat****:** I'm really hesitant about the dynamic between Raleigh and Amora, but I'm leaving all of my options open. You never know what could happen. :) I'll endeavour to keep updating soon and barring my getting ridiculously busy again, I should be posting in a timely fashion again!  
**Kakashi Forever****:** I think at this point it's a bit of a safe bet that they'll be friends. With what's in store for the future, I'd almost guarantee it. :)  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Oh thank you so much! Like i said somewhere above to DMMD, I know I probably get really boring when I prattle on about my characters, but I try very hard to create three dimensional characters. It's been my goal as a writer in all of my work since I was quite young and when I first accomplished it (about 2 or 3 years ago), I never felt prouder. And hearing that I've carried that over and into this story also means a tremendous amount to me. So thank you!  
**kearabee****:** I've always been fond of the bond between Raleigh and Tony, their relationship is, to me, so similar to the dynamic she shares with Loki that it makes things easy for her. Tony is very close to Loki - they're very much two sides to the same coin. Both come from similar backgrounds, but they went down different paths. But that doesn't defeat Raleigh's relationship with either. On the contrary, I think it helps her relationships because they're so similar. With any luck, Tony'll be there through the rest of her recovery and through the end. :) Thanks.  
**Purplenurpl****:** Ah, yes, feels. Feels everywhere! And thank you, I try very hard to take the time to write out a reply. I'm utter shit at replying to PMs, but I definitely can reply to reviews as I never forget that they're there. I also really appreciate the fact that anyone is willing to sit down to write me a review or message after reading and to tell me their thoughts, so I really want to give back to anyone who is that kind to me. It only feels right. I like chatting about reviews, etc., a lot. It makes me happy.


	34. An Old Friend

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the original characters, plot, and anything else that seems out of sort with the canon Marvel universe. My life would be so much more entertaining if it were different.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four: An Old Friend**

I awoke the next morning to a smattering of voices, all indistinct from where I lay in my bedroom and for a few moments, I lay in bed with my eyes shut, comfortable among the sheets and covers. I didn't need to get up to hear about whatever Tony was talking about; it was probably just work. He'd probably taken a conference call to avoid the morning traffic and had neglected to keep the volume down since I could hear bits and pieces of the voices carrying down the hallway from a distant part of the penthouse.

I waited a few moments, then gradually began to worm my way out from beneath the covers whereupon I pulled on a pair of thick socks and a light cardigan over the thin t-shirt I'd donned for bed the previous night. Tony had always made a point of keeping his rooms cold, I'd noticed. This room, which was technically _mine, _was no exception to the rule.

Stifling a yawn behind my hand, I made my way out of my bedroom and down the hall, my ears gradually picking up the familiar voices of the other Avengers. They weren't on intercom however, nor a computer screen, for as I rounded the corner and came into the kitchen, I found the team gathered together and in the middle of a rather intense conversation. I stood silently, relieved to find that none of them had noticed my entrance and that they were instead continuing to argue amongst themselves.

"- Fury's absolutely positive that it was him?" Tony was saying and as he spoke, Barton's gaze met my own and I could see him give me an almost indiscernible nod of acknowledgement. My heart sank and I expected him to greet me, but a moment later he was focusing on the conversation taking place among the other Avengers once more.

Folding his arms across his chest, Steve said exasperatedly, "Tony, for the hundredth time, yes. He's absolutely positive!"

"Considering everything that happened last evening, Director Fury has requested we increase the security that's stationed around Stark Towers. If he's here and there's a chance that Matthews was telling the truth, then it's possible he'd come here," Natasha spoke quietly, her voice controlled and clinical, from where she was perched upon a barstool. "That was all they could get out of Matthews before he was wheeled away."

Tony fell silent, his face grim, and Banner spoke from over the brim of a coffee cup, "So what do we do with her?"

"With me?" I piped up, watching as the Avengers turned to face me.

"Coffee?" Barton asked, holding up a carafe as he raised his eyebrows. "Thor made it, fair warning."

Thor turned, giving the sandy haired man a curious look as his brow furrowed together. "Have I not mastered coffee to your liking yet?"

Barton hesitated for a moment which allowed Tony to crane his head around to look at me where I stood. "I thought you were still sleeping," he said with a frown.

"Surprise," I replied. "What's happened? What's the need for more security?"

"Raleigh," Steve began, sparing a glance at the other Avengers before he continued, "look, it's nothing serious. We just want to take precautions."

I could feel my jaw clench, "It sure sounded serious a minute ago."

"You don't have the clearance level," he returned, sighing heavily. "We'd tell you, but we're not allowed. You've got to understand -"

"Loki broke into S.H.I.E.L.D. yesterday and attacked Agent Clive Matthews. You remember him, don't you?" Natasha said, cutting Steve off. When I didn't move, she frowned slightly, "Judging by your reaction you do."

"Hard not to remember someone that wanted excruciating details about my sex life," I muttered, casting my gaze downwards. "What did Loki do to him, if I may ask?"

"Broke his back," Natasha told me and I swore I could hear Steve mutter a curse under his breath as he turned away and strode towards the windows of the penthouse. I remained still, my stomach knotting uncomfortably, and I slowly raised my eyes to meet her own, noting that she was staring at me almost suspiciously. "The doctors are waiting for the swelling to go down to determine whether or not the paralysis will be permanent or if it can be corrected with surgery."

"Do you think I had something to do with it?" I asked her, feeling my temper flare involuntarily.

"No one is saying that -" Tony began, holding up a cautioning hand.

"Did you?" Natasha asked, cutting Tony short.

"No," I shook my head, "I haven't had any contact with Loki since he left. I don't really think anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. would be stupid enough to miss me talking to him anyway since I was monitored constantly and Tony's babysitting me now. So how could I even if he wanted to contact me?"

Natasha nodded, considering my answer for a few moments, her eyes roving over me and inspecting me in detail as I stood at the edge of the kitchen. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she turned to look at Barton and then pushed her coffee mug towards him, silently signalling that our questioning had finished. Clint again looked at me, gesturing towards the carafe.

"Sure," I said slowly, nodding at him.

He pulled another mug towards himself as I approached and I watched as he poured the steaming black coffee into the cup which he extended to me. I took it, nodding in thanks and then looked at Tony, who was clearly struggling to say something.

"What's going to happen if Loki's here?" I asked, taking a tentative sip of the bitter brew.

"We don't know," Natasha said, frowning. "There hasn't been another sighting since last night and the entire city is looking for him."

"Did Fury - sorry, Director Fury - did he talk to Bloomberg about it or something?" I asked, looking between the Avengers curiously as I referred to the Mayor of New York.

"Bloomberg was briefed following the attacks last spring," Barton explained. "He doesn't know all the details because he's on a need to know basis, but he knows about Loki and he knows that there's a chance he's going to come back."

"What would he do then?" I raised my eyebrows. "Bloomberg, I mean."

Natasha shrugged slightly, "The NYPD has been put on alert and there's extra officers on patrol throughout the city. The exact extent of Bloomberg's security has yet to be seen, but we're hoping it doesn't have to come to that."

I nodded slowly, debating for a moment on whether or not to keep asking questions and then threw caution to the wind, "Is there a chance that they're going to attack New York?"

"We don't know," Natasha said, however I found myself thinking that they certainly did have an inkling and were happier not telling me.

Before I could think of another question, Natasha drained her coffee cup and set it down on the island's countertop, then slipped from her seat and looked to Clint. "Are you ready to go?" she asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah." Natasha turned on her heel and headed for the door of the penthouse, her red hair bouncing on her shoulders as she strode away from us, her shoulders squared. Clint looked at Tony as he began to walk from the kitchen after the other assassin, saying, "See you at the briefing later."

"Yeah," Tony nodded, curtly, and I gave Clint a feeble smile as he slipped past me in Natasha's wake.

I waited until the door had shut before I looked back at Tony, "They think I told Loki."

"It's a possibility that's being considered by S.H.I.E.L.D.," he agreed.

"Tony," Steve cautioned from the other side of the room.

"It isn't like she's stupid, Steve," Tony shot back, rolling his eyes. "And she isn't in lock up anymore. Besides, don't you think she'd be a bit more accommodating if we actually told her what she should know?"

Steve grimaced and I slowly pulled myself up onto one of the barstools, then folded my hands on the cool marble. I glanced around at the remaining Avengers, noting that Thor was lost in thought and leaning against the counter, his eyes on the floor and his expression blank. He had yet to even acknowledge me; he was probably thinking about Loki. My stomach fluttered involuntarily and I looked down at my coffee mug, staring into it as I wondered just what Loki had done to find out information on Matthews and just what had transpired the previous evening.

"Do you know anything about why Loki would be in New York?" Dr. Banner's voice was soft, gentle, and I looked up at him in surprise.

"No," I said, shaking my head, "there's nothing here for him. He wouldn't come back here. He has the Book and you guys said he was with Amora and Thanos, so that's got to be right. He shouldn't be anywhere near New York unless they've all decided it'd be a great idea to attack the city again."

Banner nodded, grimacing slightly, "That's a very real possibility."

Thor suddenly shook his head, "No," he said. "They will not target New York. The Book of Ullr is filled with dark magic and there are special conditions that Amora and Loki will need if they are to carry out the spells appropriately."

"Like what?" Steve said, turning and striding towards where we were. "What kind of conditions?"

Thor shrugged, "It depends upon the spell. I was never gifted in the magical arts as my brother was, however I know that such enchantments are only possible under the necessary conditions. New York is unlikely to have such conditions."

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, then clutched my coffee cup in my hands, "What kind of conditions could there be, hypothetically speaking?"

Thor turned to face me, then frowned, his voice rueful, "Too many. It may depend upon your lunar cycle or your calendar, it may require other materials or participants. Dark magic such as this is very dangerous and easily results in injury. There is a reason that no child in Asgard is taught dark enchantments by their tutors; it is because of how volatile such magic can be."

"So there's no real way of predicting where they could be attacking," Steve sighed heavily. "Well, damn."

"Not exactly," Bruce shook his head and then looked at Tony. "I've been thinking, if what Thor's saying is right and there's dark magic involved that they're casting, it might be possible to isolate a spike in the radiation fields from an unknown particle."

Tony's eyes lit up and he grinned hugely, "That, Dr. Banner, is brilliant."

"Slow down," Steve said, holding up a hand, "explain it to me."

Banner turned away from Tony and to Steve, "Well, it's not going to be easy. Hell, it's just a theory I have, but the laws of our universe say that there's energy in everything. Atoms are energy, we're energy, everything is. And energy produces radiation which we can detect. Our laws aren't exactly applicable in Thor's world, but I'm thinking that there might be a chance we could isolate an unknown strain of energy in our universe from Thor's. If Asgard - and his universe - gives off energy the same way that Earth and our universe do, then we could create a profile of known energy particles for our universe and try to use it on a large scale. It's possible that any dark magic would create an output of unknown particles that we wouldn't recognise with our standard alpha, beta, and gamma radiation."

Steve's brow furrowed together, "How would you measure the whole earth constantly?" he asked, frowning at the physicist.

"I'm not sure," Banner shook his head, "to be honest I don't even know if it would work. If Tony and I could have a crack at Mjölnir to test the theory out we might be able to at least figure out if I'm right about the natural radiation. After that it's a matter of developing a system to analyse local areas effectively and mass producing it fast enough without causing a panic."

"Like a Geiger counter?" I raised my eyebrows and when Banner looked at me, I continued, "Would a Geiger counter do anything?"

"No," Bruce shook his head, "we'd be able to use the Geiger-Müller design for our own as a base, but we need something that's better suited for cosmic rays. We're looking at particles that aren't originating in our solar system and we need something that's specifically designed for it."

"A cloud chamber is easy enough to build," Tony mused, rubbing his chin. "We could set one up in the lab today and test out your theory."

"And you will require Mjölnir?" Thor asked, slowly approaching the two scientists.

"If that's all right with you," Bruce said as he looked at the god. "You can be there for it if you want."

Thor mulled over the suggestion for a few moments, "I believe that Jane is currently at a university nearby. Perhaps she could be of service to this experiment of yours?"

"Which university?" Tony asked, "We'll give them a call and tell them we need her up here."

"Erik Selvig said it was called Princeton," Thor answered. "It would be a short travel for her and would allow you to gather the necessary materials for your experiment, would you be willing to have her?"

"She's an astrophysicist," Banner said, nodding quickly. "I'd be more than happy to bring her on for this. We could probably come up with some real ideas if we bring Jane in. Tony, could you give Princeton a call?"

Tony nodded, "Yeah, sure. I'll give Pepper a buzz and have her ring up Shirley and see if she can get Jane out of any research plans she had for the day. I haven't met the new guy yet so Shirley's our best bet on this short of notice."

Banner nodded, "I'm going to head down to the lab and start putting together a test area and do a little more research. Meet me down there when you're ready and we can wait for Thor and Jane."

"Sure thing, Doc," Tony agreed; he watched as Bruce disappeared from the kitchen before turning his attention to Jarvis. "Jarvis, call Pepper."

"Of course, sir. Would you like me to pass on your message about contacting Dr. Tilghman?" Jarvis asked.

"No," Tony shook his head, "let me speak to her." He looked at Steve, "What are you going to do? This science stuff isn't really your thing and Fury's not here to start passing out orders for office duty."

"I'll go with Thor to Princeton," Steve said, sparing a glance at the god. "It'd be good to get out of the city for a day. Coulson knows the way, I'm sure."

"Great," Tony smiled and then turned, heading for the phone. "You heard the Captain, Raleigh. Don't stay inside all day, go do something."

"Tony," Steve shook his head, "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"I won't do anything stupid," I piped up, frowning.

Steve turned to look at me, giving me an apologetic look, "It's not about being stupid, Raleigh, you're a target."

"And do _you_ want to sit around and babysit her?" Tony asked archly, "Or are you proposing we take her down to the lab and let her play with dangerous chemicals?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Steve scowled at the other man, "I'm just saying that she needs to be careful. She should rest up and maybe take a few days inside."

"I was going to go to the park," I said, chewing on my lower lip. "I'll stay relatively close. I can meet up with a couple of my old school friends."

Steve looked at me, his brow furrowing together. He sounded incredulous, "_You're_ from New York?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I was raised here. I moved to England when I was fifteen."

"Huh," he scratched his chin and then frowned, asking, "Yankees fan?"

"A little bit." I grinned, sheepish, "My dad is a big sports fan and he loved the Yankees when I was growing up. Did you like the Dodgers?"

"They were my team," he told me, "Tony said that the Mets took their place when they moved out west?"

I nodded, "They won the series in '86, but they haven't had another since. Have you been to a game?"

"No," he shook his head, "I haven't had the time to get to one and they tore down Ebbets, so I don't know where I'm going."

"You could go watch a game," Tony said, interrupting up. We both turned, looking at him and he gestured to the two of us, "If you're that freaked out, Stevie, I'm sure Raleigh there can get you to a game today and you can babysit her."

"We could go to a game," I agreed, "I'd have to check the schedule but it might be a night game so you could be back in time to meet me at the station. I could go out and see my friends and you could go with Thor. You'd get to watch out for me in the end, right? You guys would know I'd be safe if I had to meet up with some of you at a specific time."

"A game for the Yankees or the Mets?" Steve asked, frowning deeply.

"Well," I hesitated, "either really, I guess, unless you'd prefer the Mets?"

He shook his head as Tony made a disgruntled noise, "Anything would be fine."

"Is this a Midgardian sport?" Thor asked, "Yankees and Mets?"

Steve looked at Thor, "It's called baseball. They're just teams. We can talk about it in the car, pal. Coulson might know more about it than I do these days."

Tony cleared his throat, bringing our attention back to him, "So are we good?" he asked curiously. "I can call Pepper and I don't have to worry about any of you in my home?"

"Yes, Tony," Steve said, turning away as he rolled his eyes. He looked at me, "Have Pepper give you Agent Coulson's phone number before you leave. Keep in touch with us and Tony throughout the day and we'll see about baseball."

I smiled at him, slightly relieved to hear that I would not be going with the Captain, Thor, and Coulson to collect Jane from Princeton. It was the last thing I needed to see right now. It wasn't anything against Thor, but I knew that it would only bother me to watch him reunite with Jane when I was hurting as badly as I was. Knowing that Thor would be with Jane, who I would undoubtedly be meeting in the next several days, was nice, but at the same time, knowing I would escape watching them together to take a man who had been frozen in time for half a century to his first baseball game in over sixty years was far nicer.

"Sure thing, Steve."

"Tony gave you your cell phone, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Yesterday when I got back my box from S.H.I.E.L.D., he gave it to me. It's in my room."

"All right, well, Thor and I will head down to HQ to find Coulson and brief him. Tony, let us know what uh, Shirley says, all right?" Tony waved Steve off as he placed the phone to his ear and the older man rolled his eyes again, returning to me. "If you need anything, just call one of us. Be careful."

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I know what I'm doing. I'll be careful."

Steve nodded, then looked at Thor and gave Tony a curt nod. He turned to me, "Have a good day, ma'am," he told me, his voice polite, and he made his way from the kitchen.

"I shall see you this evening, Raleigh," Thor told me as he made to follow Steve. "Farewell."

"Bye, Thor," I waved at him, and then raised my voice slightly, "See you later, Steve!"

When I heard the door close behind them, I quickly slipped from the barstool and then made my way back towards my bedroom to shower and change as Tony chatted on the phone to Pepper about Bruce's idea. I didn't care what Natasha had said, I knew that Bloomberg knew more than she was letting on. And if Bloomberg knew more than she was letting on, then the police knew more than she was letting on. Or they at least knew enough to tell me what I wanted to know about Loki's presence in New York.

I quickly closed my bedroom door, latched the lock behind myself, and then made my way across the room, picking my mobile up from the bedside table. It was strange to text for the first time in so long, but I quickly unlocked the phone, my fingers tapping at the contacts icon before I sifted through names and numbers curiously, searching for the name that I was desperate to find.

Finally, I reached the name and I quickly tapped at it, opening a fresh message.

_Hey. Not sure if you heard but I'm back in New York. Are you on duty today?_

I set my phone back down, leaving it to sit on my nightstand, and began to strip my clothes off as I readied myself to shower. I pulled my hair down from the ponytail I had secured it in the previous night and grabbed a towel from the chest at the foot of the bed, then made my way to the ensuite bathroom.

I showered quickly, my mind in a whirlwind as I pondered what this could all mean. Loki couldn't have come back because of me. That was preposterous. He had to have come back for something else, something worthwhile, and something that was critical to his cause. Unless it was simply to mess with Fury's head, which I was certain he enjoyed doing.

The hot water pelted at my back as it fell from the shower head, steaming up the small shower stall as I stood on the stone floor, my head tilted back while I soaked my hair in the stream. It felt nice to shower in a room like this, it was relaxing, and yet I felt as though I'd been wired suddenly. Perhaps it was the coffee I'd had that Thor had made, I didn't know, but I did know that if I was thinking right, I would soon have a better idea of just what the Avengers weren't telling me.

I finished bathing and retrieved my towel, wrapping it around my middle as I left the shower and returned to my bedroom. I immediately made a beeline for my phone, picking it up to check for a notification.

It was there.

_Didn't know you were home! Of course, I'm free. On duty tonight thought. Park and coffee at 12?_

I smiled, feeling a strange sense of girlish delight at the text, and then typed out my reply.

_Yes. Perfect. See you at our bridge._

* * *

James had been my first boyfriend and, perhaps more importantly, one of my best friends for most of my life. We'd attempted to have a long distance relationship with one another after I moved to England, seeing one another in the summer months much to my mother's displeasure. He'd come from a middle-class, Irish-Catholic family in Queens, his father an electrician and his mother a teacher, and attended Bronx Science. We'd met in our awkward pre-teen years after I accompanied my father to work one morning in the summer and met the son of the electrician who was repairing the light fixtures in his office.

We'd hit it off and become thick as thieves, but there had never quite been a platonic nature to our friendship. We'd been one another's first everything. First kiss, first girlfriend, first boyfriend, first time, first love. I still was quite certain that if I had returned to the US for university that we would still be together and have forgotten our final break up. It wouldn't have pleased my mother if I were still with him, of course, but my father would likely have been ecstatic. For, and to my mother's absolute horror, he eventually passed on scholarships from both Stanford and Tufts to join the NYPD; I couldn't recall any other time her face had turned purple in my life. My father, on the other hand, had boomed his approval and probably took him our for an expensive steak dinner.

His mother and father had attempted to deter him from the force for years, encouraging him to apply himself at school, allowing him to go to Bronx Science where he excelled in everything he did, helping him apply for top tier schools around the country for chemistry... They had done everything in their power to give him the opportunity to go onto something they considered better than their lives and, now, his life, but in the end he had his way and joined the force. His mother had cried when she learnt of his decision to turn Tufts and, perhaps more importantly, Stanford down and his father had remained silent with him for several weeks. I had been hurt by his decision, especially on learning that he had also turned down the opportunity to study at Nottingham to join the force and it eventually led to our final break up. I understood it, why he'd joined, for he'd always wanted to. His grandfather, an Irish immigrant, had been a police officer with a beat in the Bronx and his idol. Even as children, James had always told me he wanted to join the force after hearing stories from his grandfather. It still hadn't eased the slap of his rejecting Nottingham and me, as I had thought at the time.

Although we'd since reconciled over email and the occasional text, it had been nearly two years since I'd last seen James. And now, with what Ben had told me during our brief chats, James had become a full member of the police department and regularly was on patrol in Manhattan. If there was anyone that could tell me about what was happening with the city's security, it was James. If he knew anything at all about what was transpiring, I was positive that he would tell me.

I hurried through Central Park as I thought fondly of him, pushing through crowds and heading towards the bridge that we regularly met at after our lessons and work during the school year and summer. I smiled as I neared the spot, glimpsing the old sandstone bridge that stretched across the water and a figure that was leaning against one of the stone balconies.

I quickened my pace, weaving through the few tourists that dotted my path and made my way to the bridge. I came to a stop as I walked onto the bridge, struck by the sight of the man that stood before me.

God, he'd grown.

When I had last left New York, I'd been seventeen going on eighteen and James had recently celebrated his eighteenth birthday and graduation from Bronx Science. He'd been tall, wiry, and hadn't grown into himself at all for he'd been too busy with chemistry experiments to even consider going to the gym seriously.

The man that stood in our spot was far from the fresh faced seventeen year old that I'd broken up with, instead he was broad shouldered, lean, and the hair that I had once complained about as being too floppy was now cut neatly, trimmed into an acceptable style for his work. It was startling to think that he was my age, that in such a short amount of time he'd grown into someone else.

"Jim?" I tried.

He turned, his face flickering with surprise for a moment as he saw me before he smiled widely and came towards me, saying, "Welcome back."

I grinned up at him, taking the travel cup from him, and inspected it curiously. "You remembered!" I laughed, noting that he had indeed remembered just how I took my coffee from a small bakery that served fresh coffee late into the night. "Thank you."

"Yeah, of course," he nodded. He watched as I took a sip of the still hot coffee and then continued on, cutting straight to the point, "What are you doing back here?"

"It's a long story," I told him truthfully. "I don't know if you've got the time for it all."

"You didn't tell your mother you wanted to join the NYPD did you?" he asked, a smirk curling his lip ever so slightly.

"No," I rolled my eyes, "I obviously told her I wanted to quit school and to become a go-go dancer. You know me."

He chuckled, "What's the real reason?"

"Uh," I sighed heavily, "I don't know if you'll believe me if I tell you, Jim."

"Try me," he nodded, taking a swig of his coffee. "I've heard plenty of bullshit. What've you been up to? What brought you back here all of a sudden?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "Well, I helped a Norse god to get a magical Book that could potentially kill or enslave the entire human race a few months ago, got pregnant, lost it, and he dropped me off here to visit with a top secret organisation that you probably have never even heard of."

James snorted, "Raleigh, come on."

"I'm serious," I quickly lifted my t-shirt, showing him my stomach and the scars that stretched across my middle and watched as his eyes grew large at the sight.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell were you doing?" he demanded, bending over to look at the scars more closely. "Did you get stitches?"

"No," I huffed, dropping my shirt back over my middle and then scowled at him.

"What ‑"

"Will you at least listen to me and what I have to say?" I asked him hotly. "Jim, I'm fine, really. Stop," I grabbed his wrist as he reached out to touch at my middle and then shook my head, "please."

He sighed, frowning slightly, and then nodded, "All right, Raleigh. Sounds like you've got a lot of explaining to do and you're not going to shut up until you do, so let's hear it. Tell me about the aliens."

I frowned at him as I caught the edge of mocking in his voice, "You're still an ass, I see."

He shrugged off my insult, "And you're still a pedantic bitch."

"I bet your mother would love to hear you called me a bitch," I shot back.

"No," he shook his head, "but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Your father would be very upset to hear you call me an ass, you know."

"It's not mean if it's true," I grumbled.

"That's what I always say," he smiled at me cheekily, winking.

I laughed quietly, then closed the gap between he and I and wrapped my arms around his neck as I stood on tiptoe, hugging him tightly. I closed my eyes and rested my head upon his shoulder as his arms embraced me tightly, pulling me close to his body.

"You know he only keeps you around because he wants a get out of jail free card, don't you?" I asked teasingly when he released me from our hug.

He didn't miss a beat, but instead flashed me a bright smile, "And you know that I only keep him around because he buys me nice dinners to make his parking tickets go away, don't you?"

I grinned widely, "That's a pretty good reason, if you ask me."

It was now his turn to laugh and he nodded, resting his hand on the small of my back, "All right, smart ass, come on, you've got a lot of explaining to do if I'm supposed to believe you helped a Norse god."

* * *

**A/N:** _Kind of pleased I got this up in a decent amount of time as it certainly didn't appear half as promising when I started it... Anyway, can more or less guarantee incorporation of the other Avengers in all future chapters from here on out. Whoop._

_Thank you to anyone who favoured/followed the story (or me!)! You're really grand and it never ceases to please me to know that I've written a story you enjoy enough to follow or favour._

_Please __**read and review.**__ It's always appreciated and I do always reply._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**KMD88****:** LOOK AT ALL THE STEVE I'M GIVING YOU! Ah, yeah, I totally forgot that you read this. Spoilt. :p I'm glad you like it as much as you do (still) and I'm also quite happy with your headcanon. So headcanon accepted! :) And, also, that was probably my favourite line.  
**Loki'sdreamer****:** I don't know if I'd use the word heroic, but I definitely know what you're getting at and I agree. I think there's some real justification to it even if it isn't the right thing. Thank you. :)  
**kearabee****:** Good, good, emotional conflict... I mean, oh no! I'm so sorry for these feelings you have! :p In seriousness though, I'm happy that I could get it to the point where so many people were conflicted with how they felt about Loki's actions. Means a lot to hear about it because it's not an automatic condemnation but, at the same time, neither is it support. So I feel like I succeeded a bit that and it makes me happy to hear that.:) And they'll be back together within a reasonable amount of time, I think. Just give it a little bit more time. And I've to confess that I had that scene (chapter) written for a very, very long time. Thanks again! :D  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** I don't think it's wrong, but that could be my own bias talking since Matthews is certainly a very unlikeable character all around. And yes, serious props for not killing him.  
**Kakashi Forever****:** Thank you! I'll try to keep it up!  
**Ellize Avalon****:** He is Tavin, yes. Your theory was right. :) And don't apologise for throwing them out! I like reading them as they make me smile quite a bit, I just wish I had more time to sit down and think of clever ways to avoid giving out hints with answers to such theories. And trust me, there is a better chance of Hell freezing over than Raleigh going near Agent Matthews anytime soon. She'll also be quite feisty when she and Loki are finally back together. Thanks for your review (as always)! :)  
**Zozeebobs****:** It doesn't sound too morbid to me at all; I understand it. :) And thank you, I'm glad that the description worked well for imagery. And they'll be back together sooner or later... Thank you again!  
**NoVacancyMind****:** Whoops! Haha! I'm glad that you liked the chapter as much as you did even if you were left a bit speechless. :) Thanks!  
**Cassandra-Jayne****:** Haha, well, if I'm to confess I can be a bit of a snob when it comes to my writing and my tech. So I'll definitely use it. :) I'm glad that you liked that! I was quite intent on showing that since I think it says a lot about his growth as he's willing to refrain from killing for Raleigh and becoming someone different gradually. Not reformed, but different.  
**Poodle Warriors****:** Yep, he was Tavin. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of people who caught onto that. I think it was a fairly harsh action on his part, but it does show growth, I reckon despite the intensity and cruelty of the act. Thank you! :)  
**Silvers Ashe****:** As they say, karma is a bitch. He definitely had something coming to him; no way around it.  
**hippyflowerp****:** Thank you so much! :)xx  
**Purplenurpl****:** It might jump the shark a little bit if Loki were to visit a psychiatrist, but that would be a laugh, I think, knowing as many psychology students as I do. And your review got cut off, so I'm assuming you were going to say either Raleigh or the other Avengers? If so, they're here! :) So hopefully you got to see who you wanted?  
**DMMD****:** I hope that's a good speechless! :)


	35. Afternoon Delight

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Marvel characters and I do not intend to claim otherwise. If I did, I would be in loads of trouble because of these nifty little copyright laws. But man, if I did... Indoor swimming pool is at the top of the list. Anyway, OCs and plot are mine and not making me any money for an indoor swimming pool. But you know, no big.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Afternoon Delight**

"What the hell were you thinking?" James barely kept his voice down as he stared at me, aghast, and I flushed red, looking down at my hands as I wrung them together.

"I know," I mumbled.

"Raleigh, no," he shook his head, his voice exasperated. "You _don't_ know and that's just it. I was a first responder, I was there pulling bodies out of the rubble for days, I haven't forgotten it and you, you just went ahead and helped the guy?" He spluttered, running a hand through his hair, and looked around the small cafe.

"I didn't realise who he was at the time, James," I argued, feeling incredibly sheepish. "You really think I'd have done it if I knew what he'd done?"

"I don't know!" he yelped, "You slept with him, didn't you?"

I sighed, rubbing my face, and spared a glance around the small coffee shop to make sure that no one else was listening. "James, look, I told you about what happened and that I'm not with him anymore. I just want to know if there's something going on that Bloomberg told the cops about, that's all."

"Bloomberg wouldn't give all of us clearance," he said, shaking his head at me. "The higher ups in the department probably know a lot more than they've told us and even my Captain probably knows more than I ever will. If the _mayor _is need-to-know, then you can sure as hell guarantee that a bunch of everyday cops like me and my partner are even more out of the loop on this."

"Well, what about security increases?"

He shook his head, "We're running exercises all week, just training exercises, and there's a call for extra foot patrol until further notice, but unless something happens, you shouldn't worry. We're doing okay here."

I nodded, falling silent.

He was quiet for a while, occasionally rubbing his chin as he stared at me, and every now and then, he would furrow his brow and glance up at me, his eyes searching my face before he would look back down into his coffee cup. Finally, he picked up the ceramic mug, draining it of the remaining coffee and then set it down on its saucer.

He looked at me expectantly, "Well?"

"'Well,' what?" I asked, clutching my cup a little tighter in my hands as I stared at him, suspicious.

"Are you coming home with me or are you going to stay here?" he asked, throwing his napkin onto the table. He looked at me, raising his eyebrows and then waited.

"Go home with - with you?" I squeaked.

"Well, it's not like I'm asking anyone else, Raleigh."

"I know," I said, fumbling around for the right words, "I'm just surprised. That's really forward of you. We could just talk or something. It's been ages and -"

"Raleigh, seriously, did you really text me just to find out about what Bloomberg knows?" he raised his eyebrows again and when I didn't answer he carried on, "You're not stupid. You know I don't know anything that you don't. You knew more than I did for Christ's sake. Anyway, I live about ten minutes away. Are you coming or what?"

I flushed, toying with my cup for a few moments before I glanced up at him. "Am I really that obvious?"

"If it makes you feel any better I've gotten a lot of practice since you left."

I laughed quietly, then asked teasingly, "In bed?"

"That's not really your business," he said, leaning across the table to peer into my eyes. He smiled crookedly, "But you ought to be able to guess."

I pursed my lips at him, "I was kidding."

"I wasn't."

I hesitated a moment, once again fiddling with my cup when James abruptly reached out, covering it with one hand and holding it still. I glanced up at him, feeling my cheeks grow pink, "I might have texted for another reason, yes."

"That wasn't what I asked you."

I chewed on my lip, considering him for a few moments, toying with the offer.

"Are you coming or going?" he asked me, letting go of my cup. I watched as he got to his feet, the chair scraping against the stone tiles of the cafe floor and I silently cursed myself for being so indecisive and scared. I knew him. I knew him better than anyone and he knew me better than anyone. Why wasn't I saying yes? Why wasn't I leaping to my feet and following him out? I should have been. It was what I'd wanted, I'd thought about it for a while now and as soon as I had seen him I'd been overcome with want.

"I..."

"Last chance, Raleigh, take it or leave it."

I got to my feet, releasing my coffee cup, and stood on tip toe as I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply, determinedly. He staggered back in surprise before he slipped an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to himself as he placed a hand at the back of my neck, keeping me close to himself. When I broke the kiss at last, I stared up at him, grinning mischievously, proudly, and said, "I'd like to go home with you, Officer."

* * *

"Jim," I gasped out a breath against his lips as he pulled me in closer to himself, one of his hands travelling down to the small of my back and over my bottom which he groped possessively. "Jim, I don't - I'm not -"

"Are you not on the pill?" he arched an eyebrow at me and I timidly shook my head, glaring when he laughed. "Sorry," he murmured, giving my rear a gentle tap. "Just funny."

"It's not funny," I argued hotly. "I don't want kids anytime soon."

His smirk was taunting and I grimaced at him, wriggling in his arms when he suddenly tightened his grasp around my waist and leaned down, his mouth claiming my own again. "See," he murmured when I broke the kiss for a breath, "they invented this thing called a condom a few years back... I don't know if you've heard of it, but I hear it works pretty well."

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes and he chuckled again, before he glanced around his apartment. It was a small studio apartment that looked as if it hadn't been cleaned in days even though I was positive that he would have claimed to have cleaned it within recent memory. He'd always been messy, even when he tried to be a neat freak he was messy.

"Well," he said, his voice droll, he extended a hand and made a sweeping gesture, "I realise that it isn't an Asgardian palace, but this is home..."

I hit his shoulder, laughing, and allowed him to draw me in against his chest again, holding me close to himself, and I studied the room curiously, taking in the clothes that were strewn about and papers that cluttered the countertop nearby, the clean sink was perhaps the only sign that he regularly did make an effort to be hygienic. His bed was unmade, clearly he'd been in it when I'd texted, and his television was still on and playing the news.

"Well, I like it," I declared, turning back to him. "A lot."

"Do you?" he raised his eyebrows and then gave the place a once over himself before he returned to me. "So I don't need to lavish you in gold and fine jewels like dear Prince Loki?" he taunted.

I let out a soft growl before I yelped in surprise, beginning to laugh as he scooped me up into his arms and easily carried me across the small apartment to his bed. He tossed me down onto the mattress unceremoniously, grinning at me cheekily when I scowled. I sat up quickly, pushing my hair out of my face to better see him.

"That wasn't funny."

He laughed, pulling his shirt over his head. "I can say I'm sorry if you want?" he raised his eyebrows as he crawled into bed with me. He reached out, casually undoing the button of my shorts, "I'm very good at saying sorry, you know..."

I tilted my head back, chuckling, and then nodded, "I remember."

"I've gotten better since then."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes," he nodded and placed a hand over his chest, "I swear it to be true. But, if you don't believe me, you could always let me show you..." He trailed off, leaning in to plant a kiss upon the small patch of tender skin just below my ear. I shuddered in a breath, closing my eyes, and reached out, pressing my hand to his chest. I hesitated, surprised to feel the hard, lean muscle. _That was new_. I opened my eyes, blinking several times as I forced myself to focus on the question at hand.

"Uh," I shook my head, "this is probably a dumb to ask. Sorry. Are you clean?"

He blinked, staring at me for a moment in disbelief before he smiled, nodding at me. "Yeah, I'm clean. Not a stupid question at all though, I mean, I should be asking too, shouldn't I? Any alien STIs going on down there that I should be worried about?" he playfully tapped my groin before resting his hand between my legs.

"I'm clean," I nodded. "You think a Prince of Asgard is running around with Martian herpes?"

James shrugged, "I was thinking intergalactic gonorrhoea, personally, but what do I know?" he held up his hands in surrender. "I am but a lowly and ignorant mortal, teach me, lend me your wisdom."

He rolled onto his back and I grinned, sliding over his middle to straddle him to the bed. I reached out, slowly running my hands over the hard muscle of his chest and down to his lightly defined abdomen, silently noting how much had changed in him since we'd last seen one another. Police work had done him well, I decided, leaving my hands to rest on his stomach.

"What do you know about Martian herpes anyway?" he asked, his brow furrowing. "Not lying to me, are you?"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh please, if I had Martian herpes I'd probably be a giant walking wart by now."

He laughed deeply, throwing his head back, and then ran his hands over my thighs. "Gotta take something off, Raleigh. It's not very fair of you to be dressed when I've taken my shirt off for you like I have."

I grinned, "All right, fair's fair."

"Go on," he nodded.

I smiled impishly, lifting the hem of my shirt a few inches and watched as his eyes travelled down to my middle, waiting expectantly, then dropped the cloth again, covering any skin I had bared.

I chuckled at the look of annoyance that flickered across his face and teased him, "Oops."

He let out a low growl, sitting up and lifted the hem of my shirt now, pulling the t-shirt over my head before he chucked it somewhere across the room. He bowed his head, pressing his lips to each of my breasts, one hand fondling whichever wasn't being kissed, and I let out a soft sigh, pleasured. I closed my eyes, my hands running through his hair for a moment as I remained still, enjoying the feeling of his lips against my bare skin, and smiled as I felt his teeth gently scrape against my breasts, playfully biting me. Gradually, he pulled away but lifted his head so that the tip of his nose was brushing mine and said, "Teasing isn't something I missed."

I laughed, but then cupped his face in my hands, "What did you miss?" I asked him, my eyes searching his face with interest. I took in the details silently, noting the flecks of gold and green in his eyes, the strength of his jaw, how his skin was tanned lightly but grew pale where the brim of his police hat would rest... All this time. It was truly amazing.

His voice was gentle, "Everything."

* * *

He was quiet, slowly walking across the bridge to stand in the same place that Raleigh had stood just a short while beforehand.

It was good, he told himself. It was good that she had someone here to occupy her time with...

He grimaced suddenly, unable to continue telling himself something so foolish. He was envious, angry that she had found someone so easily to spend her time with now that she was free to roam the city. They clearly had known each other, the way they looked upon one another had been enough to turn his stomach with bitter jealousy.

Yet it made sense, another part of him argued. For even he knew it was for the better, that her being with the man would keep her safe from any harm he could bring, that Amora wouldmost assuredly bring to her. It was sensible for her to see another mortal in this capacity, to like another mortal as he enjoyed imagining she liked him prior to his absence.

Loki sighed heavily, leaning against the stone rail and looked down into the water beneath the bridge, his mind racing.

Amora hadn't known why he left, hadn't learnt of where he had gone, yet he knew that upon his return to her he would be barraged with questions, left with little time to answer her before she released her fury upon him. He pursed his lips at the thought, but felt a strange sense of amusement at the same time, pleased to know that the next time he saw Amora he would have Raleigh in his grasp, safe from harm.

It was all within his grasp.

* * *

"Do you remember that time when we we're kids and went to the Catskills with your dad?"

I shifted, pulling the blankets a little closer around bodies and then picked my head up from his bare chest to look at him, "Of course. You caught a cold because you went out without your coat on for half of it."

James smiled, opening his eyes to stare at me, "You would remember that."

"You got snot all over my new jacket!" I replied indignantly.

He laughed, lifting a hand to gently comb his fingers through my hair. "Well, I don't remember that part," he said, sighing heavily. "But that was when I realised I loved you, you know."

I faltered, surprised. We'd been so young on that trip, I'd been on the verge of finishing the seventh grade, and the furthest thing from our minds had been romance, I'd always thought. At least, it had been for me. Of course, that had changed when we were nearly fifteen and had just realised we were going to be living thousands of miles apart from one another...

He smiled at me, his fingers hesitating for a moment, "I always did know how to shut you up, didn't I?"

I smiled slightly, laughing at him, and then stretched upwards to leave a light kiss on the tip of his nose. "You know that I loved you."

"_Loved,"_ he murmured, closing his eyes as he nodded, "past tense."

"It's not that," I said quickly, understanding where his mind was surely going. "It's not him. I just, I don't know what I feel for anyone anymore. After everything that's happened, I just don't know."

Jim nodded again, "You always were a bit fucked up, you know."

"You're not helping," I mumbled, "I feel bad. I...I do love you. I always have. I just don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if I can really feel things the way I used to."

"Raleigh," he shook his head and opened his eyes, "_shut_ _up."_

I faltered again, blinking in surprise.

"Look," he sighed heavily, "I love you and so maybe this is me talking out of my ass and with some rose coloured glasses on or whatever, but I know you're not this. I don't care if you're 'coping' or whatever, but you aren't about to fool me, kid. You feel things just like you always have. If you love me, you do. You don't need to say it or feel obligated to because I know you and I know that regardless of what you're sitting here saying that you do. And I know that if it was different, it never would have ended."

I stared at him for a few moments, surprised, and then smiled sadly as I ran my hand over his chest. "I really do wish it was different, Jim."

"Me, too," he said quietly.

"I always think that I should've fought for you harder," I said quietly. "I shouldn't have let what my mother said get to me or the distance and I shouldn't have been upset with you for doing this because I knew that it was what you loved. I really wish I had tried harder."

He smiled now, "Don't be such a ham," he muttered, closing his eyes. I could see a faint smile on his lips however and he began to stroke my hair once again. I rested my head on his chest, closed my eyes, and, content once again, began drifting in and out of consciousness for the next few hours.

It was only when his phone buzzed loudly from across the apartment that he moved, wriggling from beneath me as he gave an aggravated hiss, and he quickly moved across the apartment to pick up the phone. I sat up slightly, pulling the covers up closer to my body while he placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

Pause. He waited for a moment, listening, and his eyebrows quirked up in surprise.

"Yes, sir."

Pause. This time he turned slightly to look at the clock that hung above the sink and then returned to the conversation, saying, "All right."

Another pause.

"Yes, sir, I'll be there shortly," Jim said, making his way towards his dresser. I watched as he quickly ended the call and tossed the phone onto his dresser before he began to root through the drawers, pulling on clothes.

"Got called in early," he said, glancing over at me where I laid in bed. He pulled on a pair of trousers and grabbed a belt from the top of the dresser which he began to pull through the belt loops on his jeans.

"Duty calls?" I asked, lifting myself up a little more.

"Afraid so," he nodded. "Some guy has been running around since the fall in a red leotard calling himself Spider-Man. They just caught another glimpse of him in midtown."

My brow furrowed. "Is he supposed to be some kind of superhero?"

James scoffed, "I don't know. You know what this place is like though. All the freaks live here these days."

I grimaced and got to my feet, pulling his shirt on to keep myself warm, then padded over to where he stood and smoothed his t-shirt of its wrinkles, "You should really take up ironing, Jim. I'd hate to see what your uniform looks like."

He laughed quietly. "Dressing me now?"

I smirked, "No, no, wouldn't dream of it."

"You can stay here, you know," he told me. "You don't have to go just because I am. I'd take you home but I have to get down to the station to meet up with Ray."

"No, I should probably get back to Stark's," I said, frowning slightly at the thought. "He'll be strung up by Fury if I don't show."

"Don't sound so upset now," he said, grinning at me. He pulled a button up shirt over his t-shirt and I straightened it, smoothing its creases as well. He smiled at me, adding, "I'll start thinking you're into the idea."

I rolled my eyes and began to button up his shirt slowly, "When will you be home?"

"Late."

"How late is late?"

"Around two," he replied, "unless something comes up towards the end of my shift and then it could be for another couple hours."

I hesitated on the button at the top of his collar and then looked up at him, my fingers brushing over the small plastic fastening. "Will you be safe?"

"I always am," he smiled at me as I glanced down and then cupped my face in his hands, lifting my face to his to peer into my eyes. "Come on, Raleigh, don't be scared. I'll take good care of myself. You've got nothing to worry about."

"I just feel like a guy in a red leotard should be the least of your concern."

He shrugged, "The commissioner would beg to differ."

"Yeah, well, the commissioner sounds like an idiot."

He laughed, pressing his lips to my forehead. When he pulled back, he explained, "He wants blood, George Stacy got killed earlier this year; he was a captain in another precinct."

"Spider-Man killed him?" I raised my eyebrows. "That doesn't sound like a hero, you know."

"No, wasn't him," James shook his head. "A few of us actually like the guy. He does good work and he wouldn't have killed Stacy. Some giant lizard," he stopped, laughing at my expression, "Sorry it's a long story."

I shook my head, "It's fine. You can always tell me another time."

He smiled broadly, "Definitely. Anyway, I'm sorry I won't be able to get you back to Stark Towers like I promised, you'll be all right taking yourself back there? I can always get an unmarked car to take you back. One of the guys owes me a favour."

"Yeah, no, of course I'll be fine," I nodded and grinned at him. "Everybody acts like I didn't grow up here, I swear. And you don't need to do that, I could probably have Tony send a car to get me from here if I need a ride."

He frowned, searching my face for a moment, and then nodded again, "See you soon?"

I smiled, standing on tip toe, and pressed my lips to his, kissing him deeply. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands slipping beneath the shirt I'd pulled on and pressed to my bare back, pulling me closer. I grinned up at him as I broke the embrace and gently stroked his cheek with my knuckles. I watched in silence as he turned his head ever so slightly and pressed his lips to the back of my hand, holding my wrist gently.

"Be safe," I whispered to him, lowering myself back to the floor.

He smiled again and released my wrist, "Always, Raleigh."

* * *

"Where the hell were you?" Steve asked me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Out," I replied curtly, striding past him towards the refrigerator. "I was with a friend."

"Who?"

"His name is Jim, we dated when we were in school together," I said, turning to look over my shoulder. "Anything else?"

"Where?"

"We got coffee and I went with him back to his place for a little while, is that a problem?" I looked between Steve and Tony, who was studying me closely, his arms folded across his chest. "What?" I asked, opening the fridge. I pulled out a carton of orange juice and set it on the counter, then returned to the two men, "Is there something wrong?"

"You didn't check in!" Steve spluttered.

"I'm sorry," I said, the apology genuine. "I didn't think it was necessary though. I was perfectly safe. Jim's a cop, if anything went wrong I would've been as safe as possible without having one of you guys there. But I'll ring or text next time every now and then, I promise."

"Loki was sighted again today," Tony said before Steve could continue scolding me. "A couple of the mounted officers saw someone that looked like him in the Park. Called it in and when they approached him he fled. That Spider-Man kid's been on his tail for most of the afternoon apparently."

I stilled, my eyes widening slightly, "Jim was going to see if they could find Spider-Man. He got called in early for duty because the Commissioner wants the guy brought in. Will he be all right?"

"It's not just the Commissioner. J. Jonah Jameson has been printing articles about him in _The Daily Bugle _for weeks," Steve said, shaking his head. "The only reason the Commissioner wants Spider-Man in lockup is because of all the media pressure. Longer he's loose, the more Jameson trashes the force."

I balked, "Jameson is a jackass, everyone who meets him knows that."

"But, on average, _Daily Bugle_ readers don't," Tony reminded me. "I'm sure your little cop friend is fine," he added. He glanced towards the window where streaks of inky black were gradually diluting the sunset, darkening the city, "They'll be calling off the chase pretty soon unless something happens."

I unscrewed the cap from the orange juice carton and reached for a cupboard, pulling out a coffee mug which I poured the juice into, earning a disapproving look from Steve and a smirk from Tony. When I'd finished and replaced the cap, I leaned back against the countertop, clutching the mug between my hands and looked between them.

"Have you guys met Spider-Man?"

Tony shook his head, "No, not officially. He stopped in the other day when there was a little bit of commotion downtown though."

Steve grunted, rolling his eyes.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked Steve curiously, unable to help my grin.

"He's cocky," Steve said stiffly, "he's going to get somebody hurt if he doesn't watch out."

Tony rolled his eyes, looking over at Steve, "He did a good job, though. Had most of it under control before you and I got there."

"Why were you guys downtown?"

"Work," Tony replied lightly. "I had a meeting and just was passing through when someone apparently tried to rob one of the banks. Spidey there took care of it before Steve here even showed up. The kid's impressive."

"So he's not a bad guy?" I asked, searching between the two men again, "He wouldn't hurt the cops tonight if they caught him?"

Tony shook his head and Steve scoffed before he did the same.

"There's no chance," Steve said, "Loki, on the other hand..."

I took a sip of my juice, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, "Which park did they see him in?"

"Central," Tony replied watching as I tensed. "Were you there today?"

I nodded, explaining, "Yeah, I met Jim at balcony bridge. That's where he and I always used to meet up when we were kids; we call it our bridge."

"That's where the cops saw him," Steve said grimly, his face twisting slightly. He looked at Tony and shook his head, "This isn't good. We should call Fury."

"No," I took a step forward quickly, shaking my head, "Please don't! You don't need to call him - I mean, he probably already knows, right?"

Steve sighed and to my surprise Tony came forward, placing a hand on my arm, "Raleigh, we've got to call Fury."

"But," I began to protest, "you can't, what if Jim -"

"And if we call Fury and tell him, Jim will get extra protection," Tony said quietly. "We don't know what Loki's after here, why he's been hanging around, or anything else. If we don't tell Fury about all of this and this cop ends up dead, then what?"

I was quiet, struggling with myself to agree and to see the sense of what he was saying. I knew it was right, that it what the best thing to do, but I still wanted to rail against them, to keep the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. away from Jim and anyone else I cared for.

Tony searched my face questioningly, then continued on, "You know what he did to Matthews, Raleigh. He's not about to make exceptions. If this guy crosses him in the slightest, Loki will -"

"I know," I interrupted him, stopping him from finishing, and then nodded as a lump rose in my throat. "I know," I repeated myself. I clutched the ceramic mug a little tighter and then looked up at Steve. "I checked the schedule for the Mets, by the way," I said, attempting to change the topic.

Steve raised his eyebrows curiously.

"There's a game tomorrow night against the Nationals, if you still wanted to go and I'm still allowed out," I said, forcing my voice to remain steady as I added, "The Yankees are playing, too."

"Fury might not be too pleased at the idea," Tony muttered, rubbing his chin. He looked at Steve who also appeared to be considering this, "What I mean to say is that I guess since you got home safe we can put off calling Fury. Right, Steve?"

Steve set his jaw, looking at Tony and then smiled slightly, nodding, "Yeah," he looked around the apartment as though he were making sure no one could see him agreeing to ignore protocol. He looked back at Tony, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke, "I guess we could see how this whole sighting thing pans out first."

Tony grinned, clapping him on the back. "That's the spirit!"

Steve held up his hand now, looking between Tony and I, "This is a one time only thing. We're not doing it again, no matter what the circumstances are. If someone were to get hurt because we neglected to inform Fury -"

"We know, we know," Tony said, cutting Steve off. "Lighten up, Capsiscle. You've got a nice girl willing to go watch a bunch of men on steroids hit balls for a whole night."

Steve rolled his eyes, giving Tony a dirty look before he glanced back at me, "You don't leave this apartment until I come back tomorrow night, all right?"

"Okay," I nodded quickly. "Which game do you want to see?"

He shrugged, "Well, I guess the Mets."

I grinned, nodding, and quickly said, "Great, I can get us tickets. And Thor said he wanted to come too, so we can go while Tony and Bruce and Jane work on their particle detector."

Steve grimaced at the mention of the particle detector.

Meanwhile, Tony glanced between the two of us, waiting, and when neither Steve nor I continued the conversation, he cleared his throat, "Well, now that Raleigh is back home safe and sound, I'm going to go back to the workshop. Jane and old Mean and Green were making some good progress down there. Order some pizza, Raleigh. Watch a movie. Steve," he hesitated, then, "try to relax. At your age you might have a stroke."

Steve let out an exasperated sigh and gave me a quick nod in farewell before he turned, following Tony from the apartment. I stood in silence for a few moments, waiting to hear the discernible click of the lock before I slumped against the counter, relaxing my grip on the mug to lift one hand to my face. I rubbed at my eyes wearily, pinching the bridge of my nose, and tried my best to remain composed.

I sipped on the orange juice in the coffee cup, my hands trembling slightly.

Why was he still here?

Why had he been in the Park?

My heart beat faster in my chest at the thought and my chest tightened as I wondered if it was possible Loki could have seen Jim, could have understood what we were to one another, and the idea drove a sharp spike of terror into me. If this was personal, if his goal was to work his way up to killing me or playing mind games until I attempted to hand myself over, I wished it was already over. I wasn't worth the hassle, I wasn't worth the mind games. He should have killed me the day he left rather than leave me, dragging out the inevitable.

No one deserved to be collateral damage for me, not the man that was hiding behind Spider-Man's mask, not Jim, and not even Matthews. If this was meant to be personal and a message to me, I didn't understand it at all. They shouldn't have been in danger because of me, no one should have been. And yet everyone, every single person on the entire planet, was and there was no escaping that, no temporary happiness to numb that reality.

* * *

**A/N:** _So kind of a lengthy little diddy here tonight... Uh, I wanted to start off by saying thank you (and I'm relatively soft spoken, but would be saying this in my big, talking to a large crowd voice) to everyone who has faithfully reviewed over the past 34 chapters, even if you just left me one review at one time, it still means a lot to me and I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate that. I just realised the other night when I logged on here to check some stats and read reviews over that this story has hit 300 reviews and honestly that just blows my mind. _

_I certainly never expected that kind of response, yet alone the feedback that I've received when I first began posting this story last July. It's been an absolutely wonderful experience thus far and I've enjoyed talking to each and every one of you. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, it means so much to me that there are actually people out there who enjoy my work. It really does. And I appreciate all of you a great deal, I can't even begin to express it. Your ideas and your thoughts and opinions never cease to make me smile and I realise I say that frequently, but it's true. I really do appreciate each and every one of you. So thank you, thank you, thank you._

_As a token of my gratitude however, I'd like to extend a little gift to anyone that is interested. I figure the best way to do this is democratically so I'm going to lay out three choices and you are welcome to message me privately or to vote in your review. Whatever you decide. I'd just like to show my thanks to you guys and I figure this is a good way. So these are the choices I've come up with for a little 'gift,' if you will:_

_A.) A Story Playlist; essentially the music I listen to when I write this or need any sort of inspiration for it._

_B.) A Q&A session; you will be able to ask me absolutely anything you want that is within reason and does not spoil the plot._

_C.) A "Special Preview" of a future chapter; a chapter that I have yet to post will be previewed on my AO3 account (link to be provided)._

_Anyway, all of that said, thank you all again. So much. _

_And thank you to anyone that recently followed or favoured and to anyone that was kind enough to read and review. I really do appreciate it so much. Thank you, truly._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**KMD88****:** Well I don't want you to be sad so I won't take it away :) Promise! Steve everywhere. And it's okay that you keep saying that. I'm fine with it. It strokes what little ego I have... And I'm so happy to hear that they actually came through when I wrote that long dialogue. i worried for a little while there to be quite honest, but I'm glad it panned out. Jane's coming, don't worry! :D And thank you!  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Whoop! Well, that might be what happens, you never know.! :D And soon they'll be back together, definitely soon. You also called Raleigh sleeping with James!  
**kearabee****:** I'm glad you like him! Thank you! Save for the cloud chamber, I knew all of that off the top of my head. I'm a tad scientifically inclined, honestly; my mother worked in pharmaceuticals and veterinary medicine while I was growing up and so I learnt chemistry young as well as anatomy and most biology. I did maybe 10, 15 minutes tops worth of research for that chapter? Tops. And that's not counting me just reading idly about how to work it all. Anyway, that said, thank you : ) I appreciate it!  
**Loki'sdreamer****:** Soon! They'll be back together sometime soon, I should think. :)  
**amakitkat****:** Indeed she does! More Loki and such in the next chapter, I realise his bit was very brief in this chapter. :$ And they'll be back together relatively soon.  
**Kakashi Forever****:** I'll have a much more ample Loki part in the next chapter, probably that really focuses on how he's feeling. It'd be good to focus on him a bit, I reckon.  
**Alice of Cards****: (1)** Thank you! :)  
**Silvers Ashe****:** The funny thing is, writing this I never got a feeling Loki would try to harm James. Be displeased, envious, yeah, but not attempt to harm him. Could change, but could not. It's a funny thing that happens, I guess.  
**Megsy0****:** I actually goofed! I posted the last chapter and then I reread it the next morning and thought to myself: "Well, shit, if I remember right she doesn't care for coffee." Looked through the manuscript that I have saved and it turns out that I mixed up her tastes with that of a character in my actual novel. Felt like such a tit. Argh. I really felt so silly because I tend to pride myself on consistency. At least it was a tiny mistake. Breathing a little sigh of relief over that. Anyway, thank you so much for your review! :D  
**Poodle warriors****:** I need a few light chapters before I get into the nitty gritty of the climax and ending of the story, so baseball will be quite nice, I hope. :) At this point, I honestly don't feel like James is in any immediate danger. He's doing what Loki can't immediately do - and that's keeping Raleigh safe.  
**Arathi.x****:** Oh thank you so much! I'm really pleased to hear that and appreciate it so much! I've actually confessed to a few people that part of why I agreed to post this was because I was so horrified by all of the Loki/OC fics that I was seeing which were utter rubbish in my opinion. So many people fail to get him and even fewer are willing to try. It's just *insert pretty mortal girl* and _bam _Loki's a good guy now. It's disappointing on so many levels, I think. And haha, I'm happy to have helped in that department, I want to say I'm very flattered, but I don't know if that'll come off as awkward?! Anyway, thank you again, I really appreciate it!  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** No, no, don't apologise! No worries at all! :) And to be quite honest, I don't think there's much to worry about with Jim getting hurt.


	36. Hold On

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. Would be lovely if I did, but alas, I do not. Well, except for the OCs and plot. But you don't see those getting film franchises like the rest of these characters... Anyway, everything is Marvel's except for the obvious stuff.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Hold On**

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

The order was loud, magnified through a horn, and Loki turned as a bright light flashed across him and held itself over him, blinding him for a moment. When his eyes had focused, he found himself staring at a wall of police officers. Several pairs were pointing guns at him from behind the doors of cars, others without shield, and yet none moved.

Their gaze was trained on him where he stood, frozen, and he slowly swept his gaze over the uniformed men and women, marvelling for a second by how brave the mortals appeared even in the face of the god that had killed so many of their own...

He resisted the urge to sneer at them, to mock their resolve, and he instead shoved his only memory of New York away, unwilling to dredge up the past. He didn't need to be shot tonight. Not when his leg was throbbing painfully and his head ached from where he had been struck by the masked mortal.

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"

His eyes travelled towards the source of the orders now, finding a stout, greying man with a large metal horn stationed behind a car. They wanted him to surrender, they were foolish. They truly stood no chance, all that he needed to do was to cause a simple diversion. Several of their lives paled in comparison to all of them...

His eyes again roved over the crowd, attempting to pinpoint just which members of the gaggle he wished to kill. If he chose well, he'd cause more destruction than necessary...

"I SAID PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! DO IT NOW!"

Loki's gaze focused upon a young man that was mostly hidden behind the door of a police vehicle. His gun was fixed upon Loki, his face serious, but as Loki continued to stare at him, a glimmer of recognition seemed to pass over his face and he lifted his gun a little higher, angling it to another part of his body.

Loki's breath hitched in his chest as he suddenly understood who the man before him was.

This was the same mortal Raleigh had seen earlier that day, that she had left with. He knew her and surely he knew of Loki, of what he had done.

He looked different in the police uniform, younger. While donning the uniform issued cap which masked the light brown hair that Loki had seen earlier, his face seemed youthful, smooth of lines and yet there was something to his look that was oddly older. He was wiser than his years, he'd experienced more somehow, and he _knew_ Loki. The look on his face was one of raw hatred, of bitter restraint.

His gun was pointed directly at the god's heart.

He could easily kill the young man now. Kill him and make it clear that Raleigh was his. Yet something in him stopped him from raising his hands and casting the incantation that would blow the car the mortal hid behind into the air, into a ball of flames. Instead he simply stared at the man, in part because he was frozen in his place with shock.

What was he to Raleigh?

Was he important to her? Did he know her as Loki did? Did he protect her?

Surely he protected her, Loki admonished himself. He was pointing his gun at Loki with murder in his eyes, his finger hesitating so close to the trigger of his weapon. All he was waiting for was the order, the order to kill would allow him to do it, and it was apparent that he longed for the order to fall from the lips of the man with the metal horn.

Loki could feel his lips steadily curve into a smirk as he stared at the mortal.

He wanted to mock the boy, to ask if he intended to protect Raleigh with the gun he clasped in his hands and the badge he wore on his breast. He was pathetic to think that he might be able to kill a god and every part of Loki itched to retaliate, to threaten the mortal just as he chose to threaten Loki.

"THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR NOW."

Loki kept his eyes on the young man as he slowly raised his arms, his palms opened to the wall of police, and he waited patiently, holding the young man's gaze.

There would be no satisfaction for this young man, he had no intention of giving this mortal the opportunity to shoot him.

"GET ON YOUR KNEES."

Loki gritted his teeth.

"I do not kneel for mortals," he said in a voice loud enough to carry to the portly old man that continued to dispense orders. "Nor am I willing to make exceptions." He continued to stare at the officer whose gun was directed at his chest. The mortal's eyes were fierce and Loki could see him set his jaw, his body remaining steady despite Loki's gaze.

He'd killed before then. He understood how to ready himself for the taking of another's life, how he might be able to prepare himself for an unspeakable act.

"ON YOUR KNEES NOW."

Loki inhaled slowly, breathing deeply, and began to summon his magic from deep within himself. He didn't need much, just enough. It wouldn't jeopardise his chances of healing himself later if he did this unlike blowing several of their cars into the air, which would leave him nursing his injuries without magic. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a younger officer, clearly newer than even the one that knew Raleigh, craning around the door of a car, his finger hesitating over the trigger of his weapon, pressuring it.

_Damn._

Before he had time to think, to even consider another alternative, his hand jerked upwards and a loud bang echoed from behind the wall of officers, one of the police cruisers rising up into the air as its hood exploded in flames. The officers nearby quickly scrambled away and Loki watched as they sought a shield behind other vehicles.

The younger officer's eyes were wide now, his hands trembling, and yet he was still holding the gun, preparing to shoot it.

The old man was practically spitting with rage into the horn: "GET ON YOUR KNEES! GET ON YOUR KNEES NOW! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. WE WILL SHOOT YOU."

Loki ground his teeth together, his eyes again finding the young man that Raleigh had seen and he slowly began to lower himself to the ground, the pain in his leg spasming, throbbing angrily as he moved towards the hard earth. The man's gun followed him to the ground, trained upon his chest. The others meant to wound him and while perhaps some others now meant to kill him, this man had intended to from the very moment of his realisation.

It was strange to find such rage within another, to find a hate that was so akin to his own. He found it interesting, the hate that was reserved for him was foreign. He had not met a mortal that harboured such a raw strain of such a dark emotion.

His knees touched the ground and he bowed his head, losing sight of the man that Raleigh had sought out. The other, however, was still within his sight and Loki could see the imperceptible twitch of his finger. It was involuntary, but just enough to pressure the trigger and to fire his weapon.

He quickly jerked his wrist, jamming the weapon and then moved to his feet, darting another bullet as it sailed past his ear, another officer having fired as soon as he made the movement.

"HOLD YOUR FIRE!" the man was bellowing. "HOLD YOUR FIRE!"

Loki threw his hand out, his patience having waned, and watched as one of the cars nearby exploded, metal and glass sailing through the air as the officers took cover, shielding themselves from the fireball and the falling debris. He quickly turned, making a swift cutting motion with his hand and watched as several of the cars slid apart from one another, some jamming men and women between the metal bodies.

The remaining officers were now turning their weapons on him, firing. As the sound of bullets being discharged from the barrels of guns in rapid succession echoed in his ears, he lifted a hand again, jamming their weapons as he sent silent hexes at several more cruisers. He watched as they burst into flames and sent the mortals backwards, recoiling in shock and shouting at one another orders that he did not understand.

He turned, beginning his sprint out of sight as he sent more spells at the wall of police, disarming them and barricading them into their wall.

He raced away from the group, his feet carrying him faster than he had expected and he turned this way and that, weaving through the mortals that crowded the street in large throngs, attempting to get closer to the explosions that he left behind himself. He gritted his teeth as he attempted to recover more of his strength, to prepare himself for healing spells and continued ahead, his leg aching with every stride. He turned quickly, heading down another alleyway and towards a metal ladder that hung from above.

He only needed to reach the rooftops and he would be free...

He leapt for the ladder when someone crashed into him from behind, their arms wrapping around his waist as he was slammed into the hard ground. He let out a grunt as his cheek smashed against the asphalt and clamped his eyes shut as pain exploded in his head, momentarily blinding him. Opening his eyes when the pain began to wane, he searched the darkness and drew in a sharp breath, willing his magic back to life.

He was rolled over suddenly and almost immediately a fist connected with the side of his face, sending his head to the side. He sucked in a breath as his eyes closed, his world going black for a moment before he opened his eyes again and turned, finding the officer that had pointed for his heart looming over him with his gun pointed to Loki's forehead.

"Don't move," his voice was quiet. "I'll fucking kill you if you do."

Loki hesitated, then laughed quietly, smiling at him. "Do you suppose Raleigh will appreciate that?"

The man gave a twitch, his eyes widening slightly, but he remained calm, his voice never giving away the fear Loki was certain that he felt, "You're under arrest for murder, assault on a police officer, and any other goddamn thing I can think of between now and the time I haul you into processing."

"The hate you feel," Loki murmured, ignoring his idle threats, "does it burn you? Does it swell in you when you think that I've tasted the same fruits as you have?"

The mortal was practically growling now, "You have the right to remain silent - and I really fucking suggest you use it - anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be afforded to you. Should you choose to answer any of my questions now, you have the right to stop answering at any time until you receive an attorney. Do you understand these rights?"

"Oh, I understand," Loki laughed quietly, resting his head upon the ground now as it was aching again. "It does burn you,"

The officer pressed his gun to Loki's chest, directly over his heart, "I ought to kill you right now. They won't care if I do." He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment and he composed himself, carrying on with what Loki imagined was his procedure, "Knowing and understanding your rights as you do, do you wish to consent to my questioning without an attorney present?"

"Do it." Loki watched as surprise flickered across the man's features. "Kill me if you wish. But do bear in mind that I am the only thing standing between the ultimate destruction of your world and its continued safety. I would remember that were I you."

"You killed over two-thousand innocent people," he snarled in reply. "You don't give a damn about my world. Do you consent?"

"I do, I have nothing to fear from your petty judicial system."

The man ground his teeth together but his question was not related to the attacks, to his actions, instead it was one that he ought to have expected but did not immediately anticipate. "Why'd you leave Raleigh like that?"

"It's not a simple matter nor does it merit a simple answer."

"I want an answer," the man pressed his gun against Loki's breast with more force now, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Tell me now."

"Do you intend to disclose my plans to her?"

"No."

Loki observed the man cautiously, surprised by the admission. He couldn't help himself, asking curiously, "Why?"

"Because I don't think she needs to know everything I do. You leave some things with you at work."

"So selfish desire prompts you to learn my motivation and to keep it from the woman you love?" he chuckled quietly. "Mortals are truly an ever evolving species, never shy of surprises."

"You should really answer my questions," the young man growled at him. "I can easily radio you in right now and it all ends here. What's your game?"

"I have no game," Loki practically spat at the man, outraged by his arrogance, "I am not playing a petty game with your people, regardless of your foolish beliefs. My aim is simple, my goal ought to be obvious to one in your position."

"You want New York, don't you?"

Loki snorted, "When this war is finished I will have my choice of your cities. I will be free to select my prize from piles of rubble and twisted ruins and I will then make it into my kingdom. I do not want your city. I simply desire Raleigh."

He could feel the man tense and he smiled up at the police officer for a moment before he faltered, instead asking the question that was plaguing his mind, "What is your relation to her?"

The man drew in a breath, then answered, "That's not your concern."

"I am allowing you the opportunity to continue living solely because it is my belief that you offer her protection while I cannot at this time. Am I wrong in this assumption? Might I instead do away with you and know that she will not care?"

"We grew up together."

"You love her."

The man ignored his observation, repeating his initial question instead: "You left her. Why?"

"For her protection," Loki murmured. "I do not expect a mortal to understand. It's far beyond your comprehension. I have made dealings with very powerful beings and I believe that this is the only way to prevent her death or to, at the very least, prolong the inevitable."

"Who are they? These beings?"

"Thanos," Loki murmured, "and Amora."

"Like Thanatos?"

Loki's eyebrows quirked upwards in surprise at the mention of Thanatos. "You know of the daemon?"

"I know enough. Death and destruction or something like that is his thing, right?"

"Death to mortals," Loki replied, correcting him slightly. "Thanos wishes to kill humans en masse. Your stories have erroneously misidentified him as Thanatos; they are one in the same, however. Thanos wishes a far graver fate upon mortals than what your stories of old might lead you to believe."

"And this Amora chick?"

Loki's lips curled at the mention of the Enchantress. He mulled over his response for a moment and then, "We grew up together."

The man snorted. "Real fucking cute. So you love her."

"No," Loki hissed, bristling at the assumption.

The cop's head tilted to the side slightly, "Do you love Raleigh?"

"I believe that if I am capable of love as you and others are that I might, yes."

He was quiet for a few moments, then, "I won't let you take her with you, you know."

Loki chuckled and nodded, "I realise that, yes, and you are welcome to try."

"But if I let you go, are you gonna go ahead and try to kill me?" the man lifted his chin just enough to remind Loki of a similar movement Raleigh made and his stomach clenched. Surely this was the man she had learnt it from. Not her father, but this man that hovered above him while pressing a gun against his chest.

"No," Loki shook his head, "I do not intend to kill anyone that Raleigh loves. I have no intention of harming her loved ones, I just wish to ensure that she remains safe."

"You brought this war, why does it matter to you what happens to her?"

He hesitated, his voice terse, "I suppose that I changed."

The officer stared down at him for a few moments and then suddenly reached for his belt, pulling a crackling device from his hip. Loki watched in silence as the mortal pressed a button on the side of the black box, speaking into it, "10-4, Officer Fylan responding. 10-6."

"What are you doing?" Loki demanded, his eyes narrowing as Fylan released the side of the box. "I can snap your neck before the words even leave your mouth, if you're so daft -"

"Listen, jackass," Fylan cut him off. "I'm giving you a pass tonight. I catch you again, I'm putting three bullets in you. One for my old partner, who you killed last year, one for Raleigh, and one just because I want the satisfaction of hearing you scream."

He got to his feet, but did not offer Loki a hand to pull him up, instead he lifted his gun as he pressed his thumb down on the device he held in his hand, cutting off the crackling noise and an indiscernible voice. He then pulled the trigger of his gun once, twice, and three times, discharging the weapon into a bag of garbage nearby.

"This is Officer Fylan, do you copy?" he barked into the box, he then waited a few moments until the voice crackled back something Loki could barely understand. "Suspect sighted heading southbound towards Midtown. I am pursuing on foot; suspect is armed and dangerous. White, male, six foot with black hair. 10-85, I'm requesting back up."

He released the button and then slid the box back onto his hip.

"You have some time to get up there," he gestured to the ladder. "Stay out of sight for the rest of the night. They'll be bringing out air support if they think you're near midtown."

Loki struggled to his feet, standing straight and sneered at Fylan. "You intend to simply let me go?"

The mortal grimaced, "I'm going to regret it in the morning, but yeah. If anything happens to me and I can't keep her safe from whatever you've got going on, I think you're probably the next best thing she's got."

"I would beg to differ," Loki murmured, watching as Fylan glanced towards the entrance to the alleyway. "I might think that I _am _her best line of defence against the war that I have wrought upon this earth."

"Don't make me rethink my decision so soon," Fylan shook his head. "I still want to put a bullet in your head."

"Several, apparently," Loki mocked lightly.

"The rest would just be for pleasure. The first one is for Dave, that's the one that matters the most."

Loki hesitated, watching as the young man looked towards the ground for the first time, and then cleared his throat, "I should imagine that he was a very brave warrior. Raleigh may have explained my circumstances to you, she may have not, but I wish to express my sympathies as I understand that is your custom."

"I don't want your empty words," the man's voice was gruff. He waved his hand at the iron ladder, silently urging Loki towards it before he continued on, "That's not going to bring me back a man that was worth ten of your best. You meant what you did then. Now get going. I don't want to see you in my city again."

Loki turned, heading for the iron ladder and reached up, his magic racing to his fingertips as he beckoned the ladder downwards and into his grasp. He lifted himself upwards, beginning to climb the ageing metal ladder up the side of the building, weaving through the metal scaffolding as he ascended further and further away from the mortal man. As he continued to rise up the levels of the ladder, winding his way around the rails, his leg threatening to give out at any moment, he couldn't help but think that if he had never known Raleigh, she might remain with this mortal. He took solace, however, in the fact that he had seen the man's mercy. Raleigh would still be his. And he longed for that moment more than ever before.

* * *

I quickly handed my money to the cabbie, smiling at him again. "Thank you," I told him. "No change." I pushed my door open, stepping out into the muggy night air and quickly checked my pockets before I shut the cab door behind myself and watched as the yellow car began to make its way down the street. The red taillights eventually blurred in the haze that the rain had cast upon the city and I watched as it turned, vanishing from my sight once and for all.

Almost fifty dollars roundtrip on cab fare.

At least the pizza had been worth it.

I'd probably given Steve a heart attack, but at least the pizza had been worth it. I lifted the newspaper I held in my hand, beginning my brisk walk up the street towards Stark Towers as I shielded my head from the light rain that continued to fall. It was nearly two in the morning, well past any curfew Steve could have hoped to imagine, and I was almost certain that I would be skinned alive if I were caught sneaking back into Stark Tower at this hour. It was, in part, why I had asked to be dropped off a block away from the skyscraper.

Still, a voice in the back of my head argued, roundtrip cab fare to and from Brooklyn and walking in the hot summer at night was hardly worth a decent slice of pizza. I silently scolded myself at the thought of the money I had carelessly thrown away and made a note to take the subway the next time.

I halted several yards from the front doors of Stark Towers as I caught sight of the NYPD squad car that was sitting at the curb. My stomach dropped.

Steve had called the cops.

Well, fuck. This was going to be awkward.

I slowly began to approach the building again and to my surprise the passenger door opened. I stopped again and slowly pulled my newspaper away from my head to find that James was standing in the street.

"Officer Fylan, ma'am," he tipped the brim of his cap at me, grinning cheekily and swung the door of the cruiser shut. "How are you this evening?"

"Jim," I said in surprise, my eyes widening slightly at the sight of him as he emerged from behind the car in his full uniform, "what are you doing here?"

He shrugged as he stepped onto the sidewalk, tucking his hands into his pockets. He turned back to the car and gave the man in the driver's seat a nod.

He looked back at me, "Got off early and asked Ray for a lift home."

Well, that was a relief. Steve _hadn't _decided to call the police after all. Perhaps I would be getting away with my three hour disappearance to Brooklyn for food.

I spared a glance at the car, meeting the gaze of a man that was nearing his thirties with a sharp nose and tanned skin. He tilted his head towards me slightly and I lifted my hand in response, waving sheepishly.

"And you two just happened to decide to stop here in Manhattan to hang out in front of Stark Industries?" I raised my eyebrows as I returned to Jim. "Did something happen?"

He shook his head, "No," he told me. He smiled now, "I just heard on the radio that Tony Stark had given the boys in blue a buzz about a missing house guest."

So Steve hadn't called the police, Tony had. For Steve.

Shit.

"And naturally you responded."

He nodded, smiling a little wider. "Well, it was going to be me or a citywide search for you. I figured I knew where you were and when you'd be back."

"So you guys just sat outside in the heat and did what?" I asked, beginning to grow annoyed with how smug he sounded. "Did you two recap _American Idol_ and gossip about the other cops and who isn't shining their shoes?"

"Actually, it was _The Voice_; _American Idol_ is _so_ 2006," he replied mockingly.

I pursed my lips at him and ignored the jab, "Seriously, what have you two been doing for the last however many hours? Have you been keeping Ray hostage in there?"

He shrugged, "Drinking coffee, swapping war stories, man stuff. He's into it."

"And you just knew I'd come walking up here like that?" I gestured at the way I had come, my frown deepening.

"Well, the way I see it, it was that or you were dead in a ditch somewhere, so I went with the better of the two options. You should be thanking me for keeping you off the radios and televisions. When Tony Stark comes calling, you jump."

"As nice as all of this is of you and Ray, you knew I was safe. You could have gone home."

"I wanted to be sure. You said it yourself, there's a mad man running around these parts that you were involved with. I wouldn't feel right just leaving you out in Brooklyn stuffing your face with pizza. I've got to make sure you get home all right."

"It's not your job to make sure I'm safe."

"Protect and serve," he said in a very matter-of-fact tone. "Does that ring any bells?"

I scowled, turning from him as my patience began to wane with his jokes, and then began to head towards the front doors of Stark Tower as I cast my newspaper aside. Jim reached out, taking me by the arm gently and then pulled me around, his arms wrapping around me suddenly. I stopped, caught off guard by the sudden affection, and then I slowly began to melt against him, my arms embracing his body and pulling him in closer to myself. He was tense, but as we stood together, the minutes growing longer, he gradually began to loosen up, his body relaxing in my grasp and he inhaled sharply, inhaling the scent of my hair.

I gently ran my hand over his back and as I breathed in, I found that I could smell gunpowder and smoke on his clothes. Immediately, my mind darted back to the news broadcast that had been playing on the news station in the pizza place. The group pursuing Spider-Man had been attacked by an unidentified suspect and several officers had been injured in explosions and with misfiring weapons.

My voice was hushed, "You saw him tonight." James was quiet, his arms tight around me, and I lifted my head, leaving a gentle kiss upon the tip of his nose. My fingers traced over his cheek lightly and I allowed my fingers to come to a halt upon his chin where I rested them, lingering for a few moments.

"Come inside," I told him quietly, understanding at last why he was here. "You can stay here." I pulled back, gripping his arms in my hands and searched his face curiously. I was surprised to see some dark patches on his skin, stains from dirt and smoke.

_Jesus. _What had Loki done?

I reached up, releasing one of his arms and slowly tilted the brim of his cap back to reveal a cut at the crown of his head. It no longer bled and it wasn't deep, but I refrained from touching it. He'd never liked being poked when he was injured, even when it was me offering.

"I could have killed him," his voice was strained and he refused to look at me. He sounded ashamed of himself. "I wanted to, Raleigh. I was so close to it."

I faltered, tightening my remaining grasp on his arm as my other hand dropped back to my side and then shook my head, "But you're better than that," I told him. "You're better than him." He pulled me in again, hugging me once more and I held him as tight as I could, closing my eyes, and rested my head against his shoulder.

"Ever since Dave..." he trailed off, his voice pained, "I just kept imagining what it'd be like to do it. To pay him one back. And I almost did it."

I pulled away, my hands cupping his face and repeated myself, my voice loud enough for James alone to hear, "You listen to me, James Fylan, you are better than he is." He nodded, closing his eyes and bowed his head, the brim of his hat hiding his face from me. "Come inside with me," I told him. I waved at Ray, signalling that it was all right to leave, "You're home for the night. Come inside."

* * *

_**A/N: READ ME!**_

_Okay, so, in regards to the last chapter and voting. There was a tie between A & C, so I've decided to just go ahead and give you guys both. Why not. So to start with, tonight I'm going to give you guys the link to the playlist which works as an accompaniment to the story and eventually, I will be posting a preview (aka when I finish the next chapter). So that will be posted with the next chapter. And just for clarification: No, you __**DO NOT**__ need to be signed up with Archive Of Our Own to read what I will be posting there. _

_This is the link to the playlist: /vicvic221/fic-mix_

_If the link is somehow broken or doesn't show, go to the website 8tracks and follow it with by /vicvic221/fic-mix and have fun._

_I'd strongly suggest viewing the lyrics to songs to anyone that listens to it though... Just a hint. :)_

_As always, thank you to everyone who was kind enough to review and also, thank you to anyone who was nice enough to favour or follow. You're cool cats, all of you._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**MollyNK****:** I was so unsure of what to title it and I finally was like "screw it, I'm doing it." because I was teetering between that and coming up with something else. I'm getting rather excited for the reunion between the two of them as well. Should happen soon, I hope. :) And the preview is coming! Can't give out any hints as to what it's regarding though I'm afraid. :p Oh and thank you!  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Thanks! :) Yep, fair is fair, after all. I actually looked that up after you mentioned it to see what that was all about. Now I really want to read the actual comic because apparently it was a really great issue. I think you can count on Raleigh fighting Loki when they're reunited. It's a safe bet, I'd say. And nope, no special account needed. You'll be fine to read it when I get it up. For now you've got the playlist for A and C is coming soon. And yes, you have - thank you very much for that! :D  
**Cassandra-Jayne****:** I don't know how anyone could pass up an indoor swimming pool and yep! I've seen AVPM. :) Been a few years, but I've watched it. Really need to watch the newest one, AVPSY.  
**KMD88****:** HA. GOOD. Kidding, kidding. I have to admit I was grinning a little bit when I was writing that out. Made me laugh a little so I'm glad it was amusing. I like the two of them together quite a lot actually. Aw, let your inner fan girl out. It's okay, you're among friends. And that said, I'm very sorry there was only mention of Steve but no actual Steve in this chapter. I know that must pain you a great deal. :p Baseball chapter is up next.  
**u. hv. to. find. out. ur. self****:** Whoop, whoop!  
**Fat Old Sun****:** And as it happens both came to fruition. :p Funny how life works out sometimes. Hope you enjoy it! :)  
**Loki'sDreamer****:** Yeah, he's a pretty cool character actually. Always liked his comics. :D  
**Kakashi Forever****:** Well, you've got it now! :) I hope you like it! x  
**kearabee****:** The more I write their relationship, the more I like it. They've got a very good relationship with each other and I like it a lot. There's definitely something between them that's very good, I think, and I think that it's a really key thing for Raleigh right now to have someone like Jim. And that's definitely part of it - Loki is still very much Loki. He's changed only the slightest, not as much as one could hope for. That would be impossible. Oh no! Doesn't sound creepy at all! :p Haha. Seriously though, it doesn't. And so I hope you enjoy it. :))  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Whoop! He's a pretty great character in the comics. I liked the latest Spider-Man movie so much more than I liked all of the others, though. It was much better executed. I do tend to think that you need to incorporate them all together though. The comics have them all together, it's silly to pretend that they aren't in the same universe in my opinion. :) But I'm glad everyone has reacted so positively to me mentioning him.  
**amakitkat****:** I'm quite happy to see the two of them together to be honest with you and I'm actually very glad that people agree mostly. I really do think Raleigh needs someone that's not Loki giving her affection that isn't questionable or manipulative. And I think Jim offers that to her, which is really nice. My lips are sealed. :) And C will be up soon! For now I hope you enjoy the A playlist!  
**Poodle Warriors****:** I think it's perfectly reasonable to make that assumption, honestly, and I know a lot of people still feel that he's going to end up dead. That's totally okay with me. He's not going to die in this story though, not with where I have it going, I can promise that to basically everyone right now. I rather like Steve as well and I'm looking forward to writing baseball. :D Any how, I hope that you enjoy the playlist! Old fart or not, it's fairly eclectic and I hope it has a little bit that will suit everyone.  
**Purplenurpl****:** I feel bad, I feel like some people misunderstood me in the regard of reviewers and what now. I would never give preference so anyone was free to vote. No matter how many reviews they had, if any at all. Any how, more Loki in this chapter and soon will be fun time with Raleigh and Steve (whoop). Preview is coming soon, too! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the playlist. :)  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** Oh, hello! Hi! Thank you! I'm sort of at a loss as to what else to say but thank you and thank you very much indeed. It means a great deal to hear all of that, especially regarding my OC (and the smut, which I'm fairly proud of), as I think that's the hardest sell in fic. So thank you. I feel a bit like a broken record but I greatly appreciate everything you took the time to write me. Don't worry about always reviewing, I never mind really. I just like to hear opinions and, when available, a critique. And thank you again. I truly appreciate it all more than I can say. I hope you enjoy the playlist!:)


	37. L

**Disclaimer****:** _I don't own anything that is related to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Nor do I intend to claim otherwise. Anything that is original, including characters and plot, are mine exclusively._

**A/N (READ ME!):** _At the end of this chapter there will be a little blurb about how to see the preview I've been promising. If you're interested, please be sure to read it. Cheers._

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: L**

I glanced up at my father, cupping my hands around the warm ceramic cup that our waitress had set before me. I hesitated a few moments, staring at him, and nervously chewed on my lower lip as I mulled over what to say next. We'd spent most of our meal chatting about the past few months in sparing detail, neither of us touching upon the subject that I knew we both wanted to bring up.

"So did he go back to Asgard?" my father asked, resting his arms on the table; he pushed his newspaper aside, sparing it a glance as he folded it in half to obscure the face of a politician whose name I did not know.

I grimaced, glancing down at the floor of the restaurant, my eyes instead focusing on the detail of the floor tiles. "I don't know," I admitted to him quietly.

"But he left."

I nodded, still chewing on my lip and looked up at him, shrugging, "So much for love."

He frowned deeply, stroking his chin and then looked out the window of the restaurant at the traffic and people who were passing by, commuting to work. He looked back at me, then said, "Well, I guess Jim's a good standby."

I could feel my cheeks burn and I hung my head, embarrassed at the insinuation.

"That's not what it is," I mumbled.

"Raleigh," his voice was stern, "don't tell me that. I'm your father and I know what you're doing. It's not going to make you forget alien boy any faster."

I gaped at him, "Dad -"

"Jim is a good boy, Raleigh, and a boy that's been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Don't give him false hope."

"I'm not," I argued, my hands tightening on the mug. "I'm not faking anything!"

My father gave me a sceptical look.

"Just because you wish I'd stayed with Jim doesn't mean you get to protect him like he's your son," I snapped, losing my temper. "He's not even if you want him to be and at the rate things are going he never will be!"

I could see my father's jaw tighten and I immediately regretted my words, feeling the pit of my stomach drop as I realised just what I had said. I held firm however, staring at my father as he returned my gaze, his eyes steely. Finally, he picked his napkin up from his lap and tossed it down on the table.

"Dad -" I began to stand, realising what he was doing and he held up his hand.

"Raleigh, _enough_," he pulled out his wallet, rifled through it, and tossed down several bills on the table to cover our breakfast. "I have to go to work and I don't have time for this."

"I'm sorry," I said feebly, watching as he got to his feet and pulled on his suit jacket. "I didn't mean it."

"Don't give me that, Raleigh," he shook his head, "I don't know what happened to you in the last few months, but I sure as hell know that when you last left this place you loved that boy. And now you're using him and everything he has to offer you. That's not right."

I hung my head again and nodded meekly, "I know."

"You need to grow up, Raleigh. If you're old enough to go running around with mass murderers and spies like some idiot risking your neck, you're old enough to know right from wrong. You're not a child."

I ground my teeth together, annoyed with the scolding, "I said I'm sorry!"

"You're not sorry," he snapped at me. "What you are is selfish, Raleigh. You can't have it all and all you're going to do is hurt a boy that's wanted nothing but the best for you by trying to. And you're damn right I treat him like a son. It's because he's a damn sight better than what you've become."

Without another word, my father turned, snatching his newspaper from the table, and stalked out of the restaurant, leaving me red-faced where I sat.

* * *

"Hey, you," Jim's face broke into a smile as I emerged from Stark Towers, shouldering my bag.

I returned the grin, feeling oddly guilty as I stood on tiptoe, pressing my lips to his in a gentle kiss. Pulling away, I lowered myself back to the ground and rested my hands on his chest. "How was work?" I asked him curiously.

He nodded, smiling pleasantly, and took my hand in his own, leading me down the street towards the subway. "It was good," he looked down at me. "You all right? You look a little bit off."

"Of course," I quickly smiled, hoping he would accept my lie, and then swung our hands gently, "I talked to Ben a little while ago, he said he'd be ready to go by the time we get there."

Jim nodded, his brow furrowing as he stared at me. "Are you sure you're all right?"

I faltered, knowing that I couldn't simply ignore the issue for the rest of the night. "I just had a fight with my father this morning, that's all," I explained to him quietly. "It's not a big deal. We'll get over it in a few days."

"I'm sorry," his hand tightened on mine, "I could talk to him if you want? Speed things up a bit."

I shook my head, "It's probably for the best that you don't," I told him truthfully. Jim fighting my battles would only fuel my father's ire.

Jim's frown deepened but he didn't push the issue, instead he changed the subject as he steered me around a street corner, "You said Susan was visiting this weekend?"

I nodded, "Yeah, she's supposed to be there now actually. Ben was saying she's been talking his ear off about Japanese literature for the last hour."

He snorted, weaving us through a crowd of tourists fresh off their tour bus, and then said, "She's not so bad."

"No, Aunt Susan's fine," I agreed, referring to my father's eldest sister. She was several years older than my father and was a widow, marrying only once. Her husband, my Uncle David, had died when I was very young from a disease I couldn't remember and ever since she had been unmarried. She lived just outside of Boston and taught literature at a local university for a number of years, retiring recently to plan what she called a long overdue trip through Southeast Asia. If I remembered correctly, Uncle David had fought in the Vietnam War and occasionally told stories about the scenery while skirting the details of the battles he had fought in. It had apparently been their dream to return to Asia together and tour the continent in their golden years.

"Does she still have that damn bulldog?" Jim asked me as we began to head down the stairs of the subway station.

I laughed, "Tommy?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "that one."

"I think he died a year ago," I said.

"Oh, that's a shame."

I laughed again, "I bet you're really bent up about it," I said, nudging him in the side with my elbow. Tommy had accompanied Aunt Susan one Thanksgiving to my father's house and had ended up ruining Jim's shoes after falling ill from too much turkey stuffing. Ever since, Jim had reserved a quiet hatred for the dog and taken pains to place his shoes out of its reach when Susan holidayed in New York.

Jim smiled at me as he made his way ahead of me, his hand still tight on my own as we wound through the crowd of people and made our way to the turnstiles that were just ahead. He looked back at me as he pulled his MetroCard from his wallet, shaking his head.

"I'm really torn up about it, honest."

I grinned, following suit as I produced my old MetroCard, and then followed him through the barriers and towards the platform. I took his hand in my own again, still all too aware of the strange guilt that had settled in the pit of my stomach as we headed for the platform. I didn't want to think for a second that my father was right and that I was doing the wrong thing by involving myself with Jim. I wasn't leading him on, I wasn't making anything up, after all he and I both knew the risk that was posed to my life. We both understood what was happening, surely we both knew that the chances of normalcy, much less rekindling our relationship was out of the question.

He turned, pressing his lips to the crown of my head as we came to a stop on the platform and I smiled up at him, tightening my hold on his hand as I quietly hoped that the night ahead would be far better than the day so far.

* * *

"Wait a minute, you let _Jim_ meet Captain America but not me and Dad?" Ben sounded insulted as he followed Jim and I through the crowd of people towards the small vantage point we'd seen just a short time earlier.

"I had one ticket to the game, Ben, and Jim's Dad likes the Mets so he knows more than either of us would."

"I could've Googled them!" Ben returned, still insulted.

"Next time," I told Ben as I turned just enough to see him, "I promise. Summer is just starting, you've got plenty of time to meet them."

Ben's shoulders sagged as he fell into step with the two of us. He looked up at us, sighing heavily, and then gestured ahead towards the knoll we were heading towards. "Are you sure we're going to be able to see the fireworks up here?"

I nodded, looking at my brother, "We'll see them, don't worry."

Ben smiled, walking a little bit faster and I spared a glance up at James who was also smiling. He'd accompanied me along to the Mets game with Steve when Thor ended up spending the night with Jane elsewhere in the city. He knew all of the team stats and history, he knew Brooklyn and various areas that I didn't which Steve asked about, and I was still fairly certain that Steve was waiting for me to turn into a double agent with three tentacles and levitating powers. Needless to say, Steve had approved of him and occasionally asked about him during breakfast conversation.

"You've made him jealous," he muttered to me. "You better give him that comic book tonight or else he'll hate me."

I giggled, pushing him playfully as we continued after my younger brother to sit in the grass of the park. I flopped down beside Ben and quickly opened my bag, pulling out the comic book that Steve had agreed to sign for him.

"I got you a present if it makes you feel any better," I told him.

"_We _got you a present," Jim stressed, sparing me a dirty look.

Ben's eyes widened as he looked at the comic book. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked, his voice tinged with hushed awe. He quickly grabbed for it, leafing through the pages before he turned back tot he front and gaped at Steve's signature. "Raleigh, Raleigh, this is a first edition copy and you got it signed!"

"I know a guy who has a few first edition copies," I admitted, thinking of Agent Coulson, who had been far too accommodating upon hearing that my brother and father both enjoyed the comics and Captain America lore.

"But you got it signed!"

"I know, Ben," I laughed, "calm down."

"He signed this, you really got him to sign this. Dad's gonna love this, oh man. I've gotta text him a picture of this. He's going to love it."

I turned away from my younger brother, leaning back on the grass beside Jim as we began our long wait for the annual Macy's fireworks. I relaxed against him, watching as he reached out to take the comic from Ben for a moment to look at it a little closer. He returned it to my brother who was busy texting our father about the comic book and then rubbed my arm gently.

"You can't top this unless you let them meet each other, you know," he murmured.

I laughed, nodding, "Believe me, I know that. I'll have to introduce them."

Jim sighed happily, closing his eyes to the slowly setting sun and then turned his head to look at me as he opened his eyes again, "Are you planning on staying?" he asked me.

I could feel my stomach drop at the question. It was one that I'd been dreading. I looked down at the grass, studying it for a moment as I weighed the possible outcomes of an answer. If I said yes, then he would want to change this, to make this something more, and after my argument with my father I didn't know if I wanted that. If I said no, he would be hurt. Either way, this was a losing battle for me.

I looked up at him then, nodding slowly, and looked back at Ben. I returned to Jim, cocking my head in my brother's direction, "He said he wants me to stay. I do the dishes better than he does apparently."

Jim grinned, chuckling, and then nodded. "So is that a yes?"

No, it wasn't.

"Yes," I nodded at him, feeling the weight of my uncertainty as it pressed upon me. I forced myself to continue on anyway, ignoring it. "It is."

* * *

"Just let me go to the bathroom," I said as I waved off both Ben and James. I handed my bag over to Jim. "I'll be right back and we can get going, all right?"

"Well, can you hurry it up?" Ben asked, frowning. "I'm hungry."

I ignored him, turning, and began to push my way through the dwindling crowds of people that were thronging towards an exit and headed towards the women's bathroom. I quickly brushed past a few stragglers and then slowed my pace, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket as it buzzed. It was Tony.

_Where are you?_

I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to call him a mother hen and quickly typed out my reply:

_Still with Jim and Ben. The fireworks just ended on the pier. We're going to go get dinner and I should be back by midnight. Not gonna turn into a pumpkin so tell Steve to chill._

I pocketed my phone and headed into the bathroom, relieved to find that I'd waited long enough to ensure an open toilet.

I quickly made my way into the stall when my phone began to buzz in my pocket again. Hissing out a breath, I pulled it out of my pocket and checked to see what my next message from Tony was.

_SHIELD HQ. Now._

I stared at the message, my brow furrowing and I shook my head. Scoffing, I began to type a text message back to him.

_Why? What's wrong? It's going to take ages to get there with traffic._

Finishing in the bathroom, I quickly flushed the toilet and made my way out of the bathroom stall, smoothing my shorts as I made my way to the sink. I turned on the faucet, watching as a jet of hot water began to pour from the mouth of the tap and lightly rinsed my hands before I reached out for the soap.

My phone buzzed against my thigh again.

"Goddamn it, Tony, chill out," I grumbled, reaching into my pocket. I pulled my phone out and unlocked it, staring at the text message as my brow came together again.

_Now._

"Jesus Christ, chill out. It isn't the end of the world," I muttered. With one hand, I began to type out my reply, while I reached for the soap container again, shaking my head at Tony's persistence.

_What's going on? Tell me. I'm on my way now._

I pocketed my phone again, lathering my hands, and began to rinse them beneath the hot water, waiting for Tony's reply. Just as I finished and had turned the hot water off, my phone vibrated in my pocket once again and I pulled it from its place in my shorts pocket.

_Go._

I rolled my eyes, resending my previous text and waited patiently, watching as his next text came in.

_L_

L? What kind of code was L? I frowned, wondering what he meant and then shoved my phone back into my pocket, grabbing one of the flimsy paper towels from a nearby sink to dry my damp hands.

"Hello, Raleigh," a voice like silk suddenly murmured in my ear.

I looked up into the mirror and let out a small shriek before my whole world went black.

* * *

"She's taking forever," Ben complained sitting down on a park bench.

Jim glanced down at the teenager and shrugged, uninterested. He wasn't in the mood to pay attention to Ben's list of complaints. He was already on edge watching out for Raleigh, listening to her younger brother complain about his stomach wasn't what he wanted to waste his time doing.

His phone began to ring abruptly, breaking him from his thoughts and he pulled it out curiously, staring at the caller ID for a moment.

It was Ray.

Damn.

Where was Raleigh when he needed her?

"Hello?" he asked, placing the phone to his ear as he took the call.

"Hey, man," Ray's voice crackled through on the other end. "You need to get down to midtown as soon as you can, all right? There was an accident up at Stark Industries tonight and there's a bit of a scare going on."

Jim hesitated, his veins suddenly felt as though they were filled with lead. He passed Raleigh's bag to her brother and turned, pacing away from the teenager. "What happened?"

"I don't know, man," Ray replied, "they've got the fire department there though and the feds are coming down, I think. I saw some weird ass SUVs roll up and a couple of suits get out. They need us there on crowd control though, you gonna be long?"

Jim shook his head and turned around, grabbing Ben by his arm. "No, I'll be there as soon as I can. I've got my badge and my gun on me, I'll worry about my uniform later. Get Jones to bring around a car when I call so he can take a couple people over to the Upper Eastside. Are there any casualties?"

"What's going on?" Ben asked, clearly overhearing his conversation with Ray.

"Not now," Jim said quickly before returning to his partner. "Ray, are you still there? Are there casualties?"

"Might be," Ray sounded unsure. "Dispatch reported an explosion on one of the top floors. I think it's an R&D floor or something like that and then there was supposed to be a couple more on the bottom levels. They've got the bomb squad coming in."

Jim quickened his pace as he headed towards the park toilets. "Shit. Is Tony Stark there? Is he around? I need to talk to him."

"Wait, why do you need to talk to Tony Stark?" Ray asked, "Do you even know him? Jim, come on. Give your girlfriend a kiss goodbye and get your ass down here before we both get our asses handed to us. I tried to put it off as long as I could, man."

"Ray," Jim barked into the phone as he towed Ben towards the toilets. "Ray, is he there or not? Just tell me if Tony Stark is outside the fucking building!"

"I don't know, Jim," Ray paused, "I don't see him out here. I see that Potts lady that's always on the TV, she looks pretty upset."

"Son of a bitch!" Jim swore again, louder now, and quickly hung up the phone as he released Ben. He darted inside of the women's bathroom, quickly searching through the row of stalls, pushing the doors open as he raced through the lavatory. "Raleigh!" he shouted, "Raleigh, this isn't a fucking game! Where are you?!"

No reply.

"Fuck!" he ripped his phone out of his pocket, calling her mobile phone as Ben curiously stepped into the bathroom, still holding onto Raleigh's bag.

"What's going on?" he asked Jim, his face stark white. "Is Raleigh not okay?"

Jim held up his hand, listening as the phone rang, and strained his ears for the sound of a phone in the bathroom. Anywhere nearby. She had to be here. She had to be. As soon as the call connected, he could hear the sound of a phone vibrating on the tiled floor and he turned, looking down at the floor of the bathroom to find Raleigh's phone laying there.

"Fucking bastard!" Jim roared, slamming his hand into the closest mirror. It shattered, glass slicing into his hand and falling down, into the sink as he struck at the mirror again, livid. He watched as Ben recoiled in shock, his eyes wide and then turned away, dragging in deep breaths as he attempted to ignore the stinging pain in his hand and to calm himself.

"Jim, what's going on?" Ben asked him, his eyes wide with fear. "Is everything okay?"

Jim turned, shaking his head, "No. I need to get you home. Now. We'll talk on the way there, come on." Jim motioned towards the door and stooped down, grabbing Raleigh's phone from the floor before he tucked it into his pocket.

"Where's Raleigh?" Ben demanded, refusing to move. "Tell me what's going on. Where is she?"

Jim stared at the teenager, struck by the first time by just how boyish he seemed. He wasn't anything but a child caught up in this madness. He didn't even have a clue about what his only sister was involved in. He was scared. Hell, Jim was scared too.

He swallowed hard as he shook his head and admitted, "I don't know. I'll tell you what I can though."

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Apologies for the somewhat short length of this chapter (and the lack of baseball - I mostly didn't have time to write a proper scene and had severe writers block), but I'm on the cusp of my exams and saying goodbye to some very good friends of mine for the summer holidays, so please understand that I may be a little bit sparing in my appearances over the next 2 weeks. Some things do have to take precedence._

_Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I've noticed that is very particular about the fact that they do not like external links of any kind. Therefore, I've decided to post the preview on - I will link to it below, but you can also navigate to my profile and select the story that way. Here's hoping you enjoy it. :D_

_ s/9213943/1/A-Token-of-Gratitude_

_Lastly, thank you, as always, for any and all reviews, follows, and favs. I greatly appreciated each and every single one._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Cassandra-Jayne****:** I still haven't watched it! Argh! I'll have to try getting to watching it at some point this weekend or next. I was a bit disappointed about that as well when I saw the previews for it. Oh well. :)  
**Ellize Avalon****:** I actually almost wrote that scene as it happens. And to be quite honest I don't want either AI or The Voice. :$ I've watched The Voice's first season reruns though and it was fairly enjoyable. :D haha, I like Jim as a character overall. He's a pretty swell guy in my opinion. Hope you enjoyed the playlist (and the preview!)!  
**Loki'sdreamer****:** I'd say they'll be back together soon enough (especially given this chapter). Just not on good terms.  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** Awesome, thanks! Hope you enjoyed it. :)  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Thank you! :D Glad you enjoyed it.  
**amakitkat****:** Well, it's always possible that there's a chance for a love triangle, but that can get messy if it isn't properly executed, methinks. We'll have to see where it all goes. :)  
**kearabee****:** Thanks! :D I'm glad you liked the chapter and that you like Jim as much as you do.  
**Poodle warriors****:** I really wish I'd had the time and motivation to write the Ball game. Sadly it gave me a huge amount of writers block and held me up for days on end, which was a real pity.  
**Guest****:** **(35)** Totally understand. :D I read his comics growing up and saw all of the Rami films when they came out (which I didn't like all that much). Really loved the latest one from Webb. :3 So fan girl away. There will always be more Spider-Man in my book. It's all the same universe after all.  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** I'm glad you like the playlist so much. :) I definitely took a bit of care with the songs and I'm glad to hear that they accompany the story as well as they seem to. Thank you, thank you!


	38. From the Beginning

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot and any/all OCs. The rest is licensed to Marvel Worldwide, Inc. and I make no intention to claim otherwise.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: From the Beginning**

_He opened his eyes slowly, his cheek pressed into the dew soaked grass of a field. He rolled over slowly, groaning as he moved his body for the first time since being cast down to Midgard. He turned his head, grimacing as a large sheep came closer to him, munching upon a mouthful of green grass. He scowled, lifting his hand in the hopes of searing some of its wool off to teach it a lesson and then remembered that his magic had been stripped away by Odin's enchantments._

_He ground his teeth together, resting his head upon the grass as he stared up at the light blue sky of Midgard._

_He did not deserve this punishment. It was petty, meant solely to humiliate him._

_"I have not seen a Prince of Asgard look so disheveled in all of my years," Amora's voice was amused and he closed his eyes, hardly in the mood to deal with her crude idea of wit._

_"Do you not have engagements within the Palace?" he asked sourly. "I believe that the All Father holds an audience with you regularly to discuss the progress of young sorcerers."_

_Her voice was light, mocking, "The All Father shall wait, I am attending to my Prince this morning."_

_He sighed, opening his eyes and stared up at her as she loomed above him, her blonde hair cascading down her back, loose._

_"Surely you don't intend to see the All Father looking like that."_

_She pursed her lips at him, "You would do well to remember who it is a prisoner and who is a free woman." She crouched down beside him, brushing a few stray strands of his dark hair behind his ears and away from his face._

_"Have you done as I've asked?" Loki asked her curiously, pushing himself up to rest upon one arm. "Have you found a Midgardian to use?"_

_Amora smirked at him._

_"Well?" he demanded. "Out with it, woman."_

_"Do you doubt me?" she purred, stroking his face with her long slender fingers. "Of course I have. It's very fortunate for you that the All Father sent you to this pitiful island rather than to a larger one."_

_Loki chuckled, "I am very fortunate indeed. Tell me of this mortal then."_

_Amora shrugged, "Its name is Rah-lee, or something resembling it. They have such peculiar names within this realm, wouldn't you agree?" She continued on before he could so much as begin to formulate an answer, "I shall take you south to where it resides in the city, but I cannot take you any further than its shop. It makes a trade in selling books but appears to be studying to further itself, I do not understand it. Their caste system is not nearly as restrictive as it ought to be."_

_"And this Midgardian will be easily broken and disposed of?" he asked her, arching one of his eyebrows at the Enchantress._

_Amora nodded, smiling, and then said, "Of course. I've made certain to take care and select just as you asked of me. You shall have no difficulty with this mortal and with acquiring the Book. You must be certain to kill it, however. You will remember that, won't you?"_

_Loki scoffed._

_"Loki," Amora's voice turned stern, "do not tempt fate. The Other shall be displeased if you fail to eliminate any liabilities and a mortal is a great liability. They are stupid, disgusting creatures, all of them. They have nothing to offer."_

_"I shall be certain to kill this Midgardian, Amora. You needn't fear my intentions."_

* * *

_"I need you to invade her sleep state," Loki said, raking a hand through his hair in frustration. "We are making far too little of progress and I cannot simply lead her to this myself. If you were to scry and to discover the location of the text -"_

_"If I were to discover the location of the text, I might bring it to you myself," Amora hissed at him. "Instead I allow you to play with a petty Midgardian child day in and day out. Haven't you grown tired with that thing yet?"_

_Loki shrugged, "It has its moments. It cooks and cleans, I do not want for much else."_

_Amora rolled her eyes._

_"Will you?" Loki asked her, returning to their original conversation. "You know better than I where the text is located. Anything you might be able to offer -"_

_"And Thanos has insisted that you discover this without my interference," Amora practically spat at him. "By interfering with the mortal's sleep state, you will only anger him and you do not want for that, do you?"_

_Bristling, he ground his teeth and leaned towards her, "I want to receive my own desserts and I want to do so faster. I am far too close to hitting a dead end and if I am to do that, I will only suffer with the Midgardian and kill before I had originally intended."_

_Amora shrugged, "Killing it sooner than you had anticipated might not be such a bad thing," she murmured. "It likes you far too much."_

_Loki ignored her, looking around the park in silence. "Do as I ask of you, give the mortal a push in the right direction. I need nothing more than that and the Other shall never know."_

_Amora pursed her lips at him, "I could just as well give you the push in the right direction than infiltrate the mind of a Midgardian."_

_Loki spared her a lingering glance before he got to his feet, smoothing his coat. "Do as I ask, not as you wish and you will soon see yourself as the Queen of Asgard." He turned on his heel before she could respond to him, striding away and into the sea of Midgardians that was just ahead._

* * *

_Amora looked up at him as he brushed the snow from the sleeves of his coat and smirked._

_"You've certainly taken your time this evening," she murmured, the smirk curving her lips upwards that gave her a cunning and feline expression._

_Loki snorted, ignoring the jab, and pulled out the wooden chair that sat across from Amora which he sat down in. He spared a glance at the pint of beer she had brought to the table for him, frowning at the sight of it, and then returned his gaze to the goddess._

_"You called upon me, why?"_

_"You've not made any progress," she said clinically, folding her hands on the tabletop._

_Loki pushed the pint aside and huffed, "I have a Midgardian that is beginning to grow suspicious to worry about as well, in case you have forgotten. You were hardly discreet about infiltrating her mind and you've left her with questions about why it is that she happened to _dream _of just where to find the damned Book of Ullr."_

_"I did as you asked and not as I wished," she hissed at him, leaning across the table. "I might have simply killed her and done the job myself if I knew you were going to have such trouble finding it."_

_"I grow closer to it every day, killing the human isn't necessary at this moment," Loki snapped back._

_"If it is growing suspicious then you ought to kill it," she returned, her green eyes narrowing into thin slits. "You've not grown to care for it, have you?"_

_Loki barked out a laugh, "Don't be a fool," he muttered. "I only wish to prevent any unnecessary deaths. I do not want to waste my valuable time running from Midgardian law enforcement for murder. That comes later."_

_Amora rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, strumming her fingers on the tabletop. "And where does it think you are currently?" she asked him, her voice scathing._

_"It believes I am with another woman."_

_"It would be right."_

_Loki's lips twitched and he reached for his pint. "It's very jealous of my spending time with other Midgardians. Allowing it to assume that I am spending time with others occupies its mind."_

_"You slept with it."_

_Loki raised his eyebrows at the goddess, taking a long drink from the pint before he spoke. Mulling over the last several weeks, he chose his words carefully as he set the glass down._

_"What would give you an idea as mad as that?" he asked her._

_Amora's eyes glinted as she spoke, "You've gotten it jealous. Obviously you slept with it."_

_"And you know as well as I that rutting with Midgardians is frowned upon by Asgard," Loki mocked her lightly._

_"Would the All Father's approval truly weigh so heavily upon you in the heat of the moment?" she asked him, still frowning._

_"You mustn't tell me that you're growing jealous," Loki remarked, picking his pint up again. "I expect that from the Midgardian and not from you." He sighed heavily, then took another drink as he scanned the packed pub to be sure that they were not being watched, much less listened to. He hesitated at the sight of a tall and slender blonde woman who was watching him from her position at the side of another man. She smiled, catching his gaze and he smirked in reply knowingly._

_"It would appear you are expecting more from Midgardians lately than you care to say," she snapped at him. Loki tore his eyes away from the blonde, looking at the goddess and noted that she was glaring at him, fury etched into her face._

_"And you ought to realise that what I occupy my spare time with is hardly what I intend to spend my eternity with. You have engagements, were you to go missing for days at a time the court might grow suspicious."_

_"I've all the time I need," Amora replied, her voice deadly. "They would not dare to question me and where I have been." _

_"They are fools then."_

_Amora continued to scowl at him and Loki shrugged, taking a few more drinks of his pint until he had emptied it. He got to his feet, sparing another glance at the blonde woman who was still at the bar but now speaking animatedly to the man beside her._

_"Off to rut with another Midgardian?" Amora asked, her voice sickeningly sweet._

_Loki grinned down at her as he stood in his place, "Well, if that will be all then yes, I'm afraid that I'm needed elsewhere."_

_Amora got to her feet now and stepped close to him. She carefully buttoned his coat up then straightened his scarf. "It would do you well, Loki, to remember who it is that you are making your queen."_

_"And who is to say I intended to take the Midgardian?" he murmured, tilting his head to the side curiously. "If you've the time, I believe that we have more pressing matters to attend to."_

* * *

_As soon as she saw him approaching in the dark, she got to her feet, storming towards him as he continued on his way to her and as soon as she was within striking distance her hand flew out, slapping him across the face with such force that his vision went white for a moment. He gasped, coming to a standstill as he closed his eyes tightly, and gripped the side of his face as he let out a long, pained breath._

_"Why didn't you kill it?!" Amora demanded as he began to shake his head, blinking away the pain of her slap._

_"I decided that this was a better option," Loki ground out, rubbing his cheek. He quickly glanced around the gardens, making sure that they were alone and then returned to the goddess. "Do not question my judgment. I have gotten us this far, have I not?"_

_"And that stupid Midgardian is liable to ruin this!" Amora spat at him, livid._

_"Raleigh's actions will not impede my acquisition of the Book," Loki stressed, knowing that the goddess was nearing the end of her patience. "Her naivety is only to be a bother to us for a little while longer, my love."_

_"And it is in league with the likes of Tony Stark, Loki," Amora hissed. "Tony Stark and your brother and whatever other heroes these foolish mortals might bring. I might kill it myself tonight if you do not."_

_"Raleigh is a child," Loki snapped, growing annoyed. "She acts accordingly but is manageable if persuaded properly."_

_"A good fuck is not proper persuasion!"_

_Loki seized Amora's forearm, pulling her close to himself and growled, "Do not touch the Midgardian, she is mine. When the time comes, I will kill her. Should you touch her you will void our arrangement."_

_Amora leered up at him. "You dare to protect it?" she asked him. "She has jeopardised our plans and should Thanos -"_

_"Thanos shall not learn of her actions," Loki hissed at the goddess, tightening his grasp on her arm. "And should he, by way of your negligence, then I shall tell him just as well that I am to be responsible for the mortal. She is my responsibility and I will see to it that she is properly disposed of."_

_Amora snorted and Loki could feel the anger in the pit of his stomach wind its way around his insides, tightening into a vice-like grip. Her constant insistence that Raleigh was to die was growing annoying. There was no need for Raleigh to die. Not now, anyway._

_"You are growing sentimental," Amora said stiffly, tugging her arm from his grasp. She pulled away from him. "It would do you well to remember that these creatures are not your equals and that you are meant to rule them, not to pity them."_

_Loki rolled his eyes, "And by tomorrow evening, I shall have the Book and this shall be sorted. Do not interfere in my plans and I shall do as is required of me when the time comes."_

_"Do not interfere? For what reason? For the sake of your precious Midgardian? Do not tell me that you will miss it, Loki."_

_"I shan't," he replied quickly, before he found himself wondering if that were truly the case. As delightful as a Raleigh-free life sounded, he found himself feeling strangely hollow at the thought of not having the mortal with him regularly._

_"Good," Amora murmured. "Thanos will see to it that it is cared for, regardless of our arrangement, should you fail to act."_

_"Has he learnt of her interaction with Stark?" Loki asked warily, suddenly finding himself growing defensive of Raleigh again. "You have sworn that we might keep such things between ourselves."_

_"He has not, but I cannot guarantee that he will remain ignorant," Amora returned, pursing her lips at him. "Swear to me."_

_Loki stared at her, surprised by the goddess's words. "What might I swear to you that I already have not?" he asked her, dreading the answer._

_"Swear that you will kill the Midgardian," Amora said, coming towards him again. "Swear that you will do it when its use has expired, that you will do as I might ask and rid yourself of it once and for all."_

_Loki stared down at her, resenting what was being asked of him, and then turned, looking around the gardens for a final time before he nodded._

_"I swear."_

_"Do not forget this," Amora told him, her hand wrapping around his forearm now, she stood on tiptoe, her lips tickling his ear as she spoke. "Should you forget, I shall do what you fail to."_

_Loki nodded, "I understand."_

_"Good," she pulled away from him and turned the collar of her long coat up against the bitter chill of the wind. "I shall see you here at dawn following your collection of the Book. Do not bring that thing with you. Leave it where you see fit. I will be waiting."_

_"I will return," he nodded. "You need not doubt that."_

_"I know," she murmured, as she turned to leave, "after all, it would appear that I have other things to doubt."_

_Loki ground his teeth together, but resisted his urge to fight back. "Do not doubt me, Amora. My intentions are true."_

_"That they may be, but the sooner this is done and the sooner that that Midgardian is disposed of, the better."_

* * *

_Loki stared at Amora, his blood boiling in his veins as the goddess leaned against the stone rail, staring up at the morning sunshine. He began to walk forward, forcing himself to remain steady, to remain calm. She had returned his magic, she had broken Odin's enchantments. He knew that she had done this, that she had done it so he might defend himself from the chitauri Thanos sent, but she certainly would not have anticipated his using his powers, now returned to their full capacity, to save Raleigh._

_He ground his teeth together and continued towards her, taking long strides until he was right behind her. He seized her arm, whirling her around, and shoved her against the stone rail._

_"You told him!" he spat at her, his voice betraying very bit of anger that he felt._

_Her eyes widened slightly and then she frowned, placing a hand upon his chest to push him away. "There's no need to be angry, Loki. Some Midgardians died, what of it?"_

_"You swore to me that he might not know of what transpired!" he thundered, remaining firmly rooted in his place. "He sent chitauri!"_

_"I know what he sent!" Amora hissed at him. "I encouraged it. You have your powers back now, do you not? I gave them to you as soon as you touched the staff!"_

_"You could have -" he stopped short, caught on the words that he knew would only anger her. Instead he released her arm and stepped away, raking a hand through his hair as he turned his back on the goddess._

_"I could have killed the Midgardian?" Amora suggested, her voice snide._

_Loki tensed, bristling at the words, and resisted the urge within himself to turn and seize her by her throat, to strangle her in the gardens and to leave her body behind. Instead, he exhaled slowly and turned, glaring at the goddess._

_"You could have killed me," he said instead. "It was purely dumb luck that you were able to return my powers when you did! Had you not, what might have happened? I might have been killed and you might have lost your chance at acquiring the Book!"_

_Amora rolled her eyes, sneering, "Don't be so melodramatic, Loki, you'll only hurt yourself."_

_He ground his teeth together, then turned away again, attempting to force the images from his mind. He could still see the faint stains of blood in the lines of his hands and beneath his nails lingered dirt and skin and blood, his shirt, hidden beneath his jacket, was still covered with splotches of red. He could still feel the warmth upon his hands, hear Raleigh's mewling and her shallow breath. The simple thought of the memories made him nauseous. Surely she must have known._

_"Is the mortal dead?" Amora asked curiously._

_He was quiet, unsure of how to respond at first. He debated his answer for a few moments in silence ‑ had Raleigh known and hidden it from him, he would kill her. Had she not, he did not know what he might do with her. If he told Amora, she would kill the girl as soon as the opportunity presented itself._

_"No," Loki glanced over his shoulder and could see the first flicker of anger across her face. "But she will be soon."_

_Amora nodded, "You will kill her then?"_

_Loki turned, facing her, "Yes. And when the time comes for me to contact you regarding the Book, you will know that I am ready."_

_"Very well then, The Other will be pleased," she smiled at him, coming forward and placed a light kiss upon his cheek before she continued on her way, leaving him behind in the gardens._

* * *

_"I have an arrangement I would like to propose," Loki said, coming forward slowly._

_Thanos did not turn and so Loki stopped, waiting in silence as fear coiled its way around his insides, binding him._

_"What is this arrangement you seek?" Thanos asked after a few moments._

_"I want for the mortal," Loki replied, "the one that assisted me in my acquisition of the text. I will finish my translations and shall ready the enchantment at a far faster rate should I have her at my side."_

_Thanos turned, his yellow eyes glinting suspiciously. "What assistance can this mortal offer that Amora cannot?"_

_"I cannot say for certain, my Lord," Loki bowed his head, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as Thanos continued to stare at him. "I only know that she might assist me and I wish to have her."_

_"Is she not dead?"_

_Loki shook his head, "No, she lives. She is in New York."_

_"Why does she still live? Amora has said that the mortal is dead."_

_"She is incorrect, the mortal proved to be a valuable asset and I elected to keep it from death for a little while longer," Loki lied. "She has occupied the time and resources of S.H.I.E.L.D. allowing us the opportunity to advance in our quest."_

_"Tell me," Thanos said, coming forward, "do you feel affection for the mortal?"_

_Loki recoiled immediately, shaking his head. "No!" he said quickly, "Affection? For a childish human? My Lord, I dare not wish to speak so boldly but if you truly believe that I might find a mortal favourable, you have lost your mind."_

_He waited for the blow, for the indescribable pain that was sure to follow such a bold statement, but instead, Thanos began to laugh quietly, the noise gradually growing louder. Loki spared a cautious glance at him, relieved to see he had turned away and paced across the room to his window once more._

_"This human will assist you?"_

_"Yes."_

_"What do you intend to do with it after you have finished your duty?"_

_Loki hesitated, saying slowly, "I might like to keep her for myself."_

_Thanos turned, "Yet you do not find it favourable?"_

_"I only wish to reward her loyalty with an assurance that she will not be killed like most of her species. Nothing more than that."_

_"And what do you intend to do with her should you keep the mortal?"_

_"I might like to use it as a slave, perhaps a concubine. The possibilities seem to be rather endless at this time. Were you to agree, I might also be able to capture several higher targets."_

_"Such as?" Thanos lifted his eyebrows at Loki, who took a slow breath, steadying himself._

_"Tony Stark, I would like to see to it that he is handled personally, and Amora might like to see my brother. With both of them lost, the mortals stand very little chance of successfully fighting back, much less victory."_

_Thanos considered him for a few moments, eyes narrowed, and then spoke slowly, "They are all in New York?"_

_"Yes."_

_He was quiet again for a moment, then, "You may do as you wish with the mortal. It is yours. Allow Amora to capture the human Stark and Thor, she will see to it that they are cared for properly."_

_Loki nodded, "Thank you, My Lord."_

_He quickly turned on his heel, walking from the room as fast as his feet would carry him and down the hallway towards the stairwell. _

* * *

**A/N: **_Bit of a short one, but it'll do for now. _

_As always, thanks to everyone who was nice enough to read and review. It's very much appreciated. Also, thank you to everyone who subscribed by either favouriting or following the story or myself. I'm really very flattered - thank you very much._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Dreams of Shadows****:** I think it's safe to say what 'L' meant. :)  
**Loki'sDreamer****:** I try. And it was really only around 3k, which to me is short, but when I added in review chatter it put me over 4k. But thank you anyway. :)  
**KMD88****:** Perhaps I'll write it one of these days when I've got nothing to do and post it on my writing tumblr for you to read? Just thinking aloud. No promises yet. I was just having that conversation with the other half actually as he has been reading this, he mentioned at first that the character and I talk alike and I sort of got into a snit, but now that he's further in, he loathes her and understand my disdain. She's very vapid at times, very weak and whiny and so many things I've said before. You and Ben would be very good friends :p I'm glad you liked the chapter. :) Hopefully I'll update in a more timely fashion now that my exams and all are over.  
**Ellize Avalon****:** It's hard not to agree with her father, methinks. It was going to be either the bathroom or food, but I ended up going with the toilet. :p I've heard really good things about Iron Man 3 from everyone I know that's seen it thus far (it came out earlier over here in the UK). I hope that you enjoy it when you get to seeing it (which I'm presuming will be this weekend)! I tried very hard not to make it too long of a wait, hopefully it wasn't. Thanks! :)  
**Poodle Warriors****:** The big confrontation is on its way! All of the big confrontations, actually! Thank you! :)  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Yeppers. :)  
**BarefootBalerina****:** Sorry :( Duty called offline. Hopefully this will make up for it and a fairly timely chapter 39 within the next week or so?!  
**TimeLady945****:** Indeed I did. :) And thank you very much! It means a lot to hear that. I greatly appreciate it. :) I'll definitely keep updating. I'm seeing this through til the very end.  
**Yarami****:** I tried as best as I could! And thank you!  
**Sadie Kane****: (7)** Thank you very much! I'm really glad that you're enjoying it so much. :) It's funny, because I always hear different pronunciations for the word. It seems to be extraordinarily complicated from an outsider's perspective, but I've only got some experience in romance languages such as French and Spanish with mediocre Portuguese and German so I'd be entirely hopeless at any kind of Scandinavian language. It's really cool that your nana calls you that though. :) It always seemed, no matter the pronunciation, like such a nice word to me. Thank you!  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** Thank you! :) I'm glad you enjoy it so much! Really means a lot to hear that. Proper reunion chapter will be up next as 39, you can definitely expect many things from it.

**Reviews (Sequel Preview):**

**KMD88****:** :) I'm glad you think so - I certainly hope that it will be.  
**divine-chaos13****:** Honestly, it was a bit of a headache because of all the conflict between the different stories as to where the different gods rank and the origins of their universe. I'm still researching it and figuring it all out, it's pretty crazy.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Thanks! :D  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Eek, a third part is a bit of a stretch in my mind. This one would be good as there are a number of loose ends that will need tying up after the end of Fire & Rain. But then again, I said that at the beginning of this story as well so who really knows. You'll find out what their status is soon, I promise. Only a handful of chapters are left in Fire & Rain and I should be right around 50 when it finishes up :)


	39. Together Again

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the OCs and plot. All other material mentioned herein is licensed to Marvel and their respective creators.

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**Chapter Thirty-Nine: Together Again**

When I opened my eyes, I was lying in a dimly lit room, my body wracked with pain. I closed my eyes, rolling over and groaning as my head throbbed angrily, protesting the act. I stopped as I came to a halt upon my back and glanced around the dark room, my eyes straining to make out the shapes that lined the walls.

I was in Europe. The architecture was telltale even in the dark, with high ceilings and stone walls. This wasn't New York, this wasn't anywhere that I knew. It smelled damp and was chilly; my bare legs were cool to the touch, with goosebumps freckling my skin. I attempted to push myself up into a sitting position only to stop, a sharp pain racing up my side when I tried to move. I wheezed out a breath, clutching my side, and clamped my eyes shut as I laid back down on the floor.

I rattled in a slow, shallow breath and then exhaled, my heart rate increasing as I opened my eyes and my vision began to adjust to the darkness of the room. I attempted to push myself up again, the muscles in my arms screaming in protest, before I stopped, resting my head against the ground instead. I slowly lifted a hand, threading my fingers over the cloth of my shirt as I sought out the source of my pain, adding gentle pressure as I worked over my abdomen and towards my middle.

I stopped suddenly, sharp pain driving into my side, and gasped out a breath. Taking in a few more breaths, I closed my eyes, scrunching my face up in concentration as I pressed my fingers to the space I'd just touched once again. I yelped as my forefinger pressed to my ribs and triggered another spasm of pain.

"Fuck," I managed, my voice strangled. I took in a few slow breaths, pulling my hand away from my side to avoid further aggravating the injury. I'd fractured a rib sometime after being swept up by Loki. I couldn't remember anything after seeing him in the mirror, just darkness and then waking up here. Wherever _here_ was.

I slowly raised my hand again, beginning to count from the source of my pain downwards. One, two. That meant I'd fractured my tenth rib, Frank had said it was common to fracture the tenth rib when he'd been teaching me basic medicine.

I opened my eyes at the thought of Frank, feeling a weight settle in the pit of my stomach. If they had me, what would they do to my family? Would they have tried to harm them? I'd brought Loki to them, after all, they'd seen him, met with him, dined with him. If I was somehow an offender, then surely my family was too. They were far more disposable than I was. I was alive, wracked with pain and shrouded in darkness, but alive. I couldn't begin to guarantee the same for my family, much less my friends.

I lay in silence for some time, occasionally touching my side to gauge the injury, and each poke sent another splinter of white hot pain up my side, causing me to grimace or cry out. After what felt like an eternity of laying in the dark, wracked with guilt and fear, my ears pricked up at the faint sound of footsteps in the distance. I grew still, straining my ears as the footsteps gradually grew closer and louder.

I held my breath, waiting. For a moment, I was filled with dread, wondering if it was Thanos himself coming to kill me. My stomach turned over at the thought and I forced myself to remain steady, to keep my breathing slow for fear that I'd only further aggravate my rib. Instead, I willed myself to be brave, listening to the sound of a lock in the door clicking as the footsteps came to a halt outside of my door.

The hinges groaned under the weight of the wood and for a moment, light engulfed the room, temporarily blinding me. I flinched away, screwing my face up, and turned my head from the doorway towards the darkness. The door shut and I opened my eyes again, well aware that I was no longer the only person in the room.

This was it then.

"Are you hurt?"

My breath hitched in my throat at the sound of Loki's voice and I turned my head towards him as he took a few steps forward, soft light illuminating the room as he did so. Straining my neck to see him, I glared up at the god, then rested my head on the floor again.

"I'm fine," I replied tersely.

He hesitated a moment, staring down at me with a probing gaze, and he turned, walking towards the opposite side of the room where he sat down upon a small cot that I had not noticed in the darkness.

"Come here then," he told me.

I hissed out a breath and forced myself into a sitting position, mustering all of my strength to keep from crying out. Biting back a whimper, I attempted to rise to my feet only to have my arms give out, sending me back to the ground. I cried out, clutching my side, and I could hear Loki get to his feet quickly.

"You _are _hurt," he said, his voice admonishing, and I leered up at him as he approached where I lay. He crouched down beside me, reaching for my injured side when I twisted away, biting down on my lip to keep from crying out again. He faltered, his brow furrowing, "Raleigh."

"Why did you leave?" I demanded, "Why'd you come back? What's your angle now?"

"Raleigh, stop. You're injured, let me help you."

"I don't want your help!" I spat at him, slapping his hand away when he reached for my side once again. I could see a flicker of emotion pass over his face and before he could respond, I barrelled on, "What's your angle now? Kill me? I didn't tell them anything, you know."

He stared at me in shock before he shook his head, insisting, "Come here. Allow me to heal you."

"No!" I forced myself to sit now and scooted away from him, clutching my side. "Answer me!"

"Raleigh, shut up and lay down."

"Don't touch me!" I barked when he reached out to grab my arm. "I want an answer, Loki! Tell me now!"

"What do you want an answer to?" he asked in exasperation. "Stop moving and come here."

"No," I disagreed, "Tell me."

He cocked his head to the side, feigning ignorance, "Tell you what?"

I gritted my teeth together, forcing myself to move a little further now. "Why'd you leave?" I asked again.

He pressed his lips together in a thin line, "You know the answer to that question."

"Say it."

"Raleigh, stop being difficult. This is nonsense."

"Then say it," I shot back, my voice growing louder now.

"Let me heal you first," he replied, before adding, "please."

"I don't want you to touch me," I returned, my voice firm, "I don't want your help and I don't want you to heal me. I want you to tell me why you left."

He fell silent, staring at me for a few moments, then shook his head. "You're being perfectly unreasonable, Raleigh. You can hardly move."

"Yeah and whose fault is it that I can barely move?" I demanded before I could stop myself. "Yours. Just like when you left. So don't fucking touch me! You'd just do more damage than good even if I wanted you to!"

His eyes widened slightly and I could see the slightest flicker of anger pass over his face. "I have done you a service by bringing you here," he told me quietly.

I snorted at the idea. "Why did you leave?"

"That's not of your concern."

"Why did you come back?"

"To bring you here."

"Why?"

"To keep you safe," Loki replied, his voice serious. "I have made a deal with Thanos that will protect you from harm."

I stared at him, growing furious now. "So I get to be safe and kept locked up in some kind of holding cell while you and your little alien friends go out and kill everyone else on the planet?" He was silent and I could feel my eyes widen now. "No! That's bullshit - I want out! Let me go now!"

"Raleigh!" he barked as I began to struggle into a standing position. He straightened immediately as I stood, wobbling, and reached out, one hand catching my arm as my legs threatened to give out beneath me. "Stop it now!"

I struggled with him, feeling my throat grow tight as I attempted to keep from crying. "Get off of me!" I hit his chest weakly, crying out from the pain it sent spasming down my side, and I could feel my knees buckle, giving from under me.

Loki's arms were around me now, lifting me up, and I clamped my eyes shut, drawing in quick breaths.

He was setting me on the cot, one hand beneath my shirt and he pressed his hand to my side. I let out a gasp as the skin of his palm grew hot against my own. I attempted to twist away from him but he held fast, pulling me back towards himself. I opened my eyes, staring up at Loki for a few moments as the heat continued to seep from his palm and into my side, the pain of my rib lessening with each passing moment.

"Why did you leave?" I asked him again.

He shook his head, "I had to."

"You left me there to rot," I said, anger beginning to creep back into my voice.

"I never meant you any harm," he replied, "I thought S.H.I.E.L.D. might protect you and keep you safe. I did not know that they intended to question you, much less that they might treat you like a prisoner."

"You're lying," I said, glaring at him. "You said it right before you left that what they'd do to me would be mercy by your standards."

He shook his head again, "I only meant that they would not harm you as accompanying me might."

"Why did you leave me there?" I asked him again, no longer aware of his hands as they probed the rest of my body, looking for any other injuries.

"If I had brought you with me, you would have been killed, Raleigh. I needed to leave you."

"Don't lie!"

He looked up at me, his face serious, "I do not intend to."

"You could've taken me and let me go somewhere else. I didn't need to stay there with S.H.I.E.L.D. or in New York."

"They would have found you," he growled, "I was protecting you."

"Protecting me?!" I all but shrieked. "Protecting me from what? From S.H.I.E.L.D.? From Amora? From Thanos?! I'm still here! You still put me in the middle of this! What the hell did you think you were protecting me from? You were protecting me from nothing!"

Loki pulled back, glowering now, and I quickly sat up, scrambling from the cot and to my feet. I hesitated a moment, teetering on my feet and he again took my arm, steadying me. He drew me in closer to himself, his eyes locked on my face.

"I did what was necessary for my purpose. You were collateral damage that I did not anticipate," he snarled at me. "I have done what I set out to do. I have delivered the Book of Ullr to Thanos and Amora. And now I have come to an understanding with Thanos and made a deal for your protection and that ensures your continued safety from harm."

"A deal?" I echoed, raising my eyebrows at him, "What's your deal entail exactly? Everybody dies but me?"

Loki scowled, but told me anyway, "I bargained for you to be considered my property. As such, you'll be kept safe from any threat that forces beyond my control can pose to you."

His _property_. I gaped at him, thunderstruck and lost for words. This had to be a joke. _His._

"Property?" I said incredulously. I shook my arm out of his grasp quickly. "You can't just claim me as yours!"

"And what was I supposed to do?" he demanded, "Was I to simply allow you to run amok in New York risking your neck? I've done you a service. You are just as well my equal now as you were before."

I gaped at him, "I've never been your equal! You made that very clear! The only difference to then is that now you get to have the Master and Slave titles to whatever the fuck this is. You're just going to abuse this like you always have!"

"Raleigh," he said sharply, "I am keeping you safe. Would you rather be out there at risk of being killed like the rest of the mortals?"

"Yes, yes I would rather be out there with the rest of them because regardless of what I've done, I'm still a mortal! I'm one of them! I have friends and family and so do they and you're perfectly fine with killing all of them but not with letting me die? What the fuck! You don't get to just keep me for yourself like some kind of novelty pet. I'd rather be with people I love and dying than holed up in a cell as your fucking slave."

Loki stared at me for a few moments in silence, his jaw clenched, then, "You will stay."

"I don't care! You're no better than them just because you're supposedly protecting me. This changes nothing!" I spat at him. "You're still responsible for all those people out there dying when they do. Just like in New York."

He grabbed me by the arm and shoved me against the wall of the room, his eyes narrowing into thin slits. "Don't," he growled at me.

I twisted in his grasp, attempting to pull away from him, and hissed, "I'll do what I damn well please."

"You would do well to hold your tongue, Raleigh," he said quietly. "You're talking about things that you do not understand."

"I understand just fine," I hit at his chest, vainly attempting to wrench myself from his grasp, and he once again pressed me to the wall, his face mere inches from my own now. "Let go of me!"

"You might have been killed," he hissed at me, "I've protected you, I've kept you from harm, and you've the audacity to turn away my generosity? Your naivety is truly unfathomable, Raleigh. I am saving you from a fate that you do not wish to encounter."

"Let. Go. Of. Me." I struggled against his grasp as I bit out each syllable, furious, insulted, and confused all at once.

"And what shall you do if I allow you your freedom?" he demanded. "Return to the Midgardian boy? You've no way back to New York. Stark is here, he cannot save you from this."

I froze, my eyes widening. _Jim_. My heart stilled for a second as I stared up at Loki, wondering if he had done any harm to either Ben or Jim in the aftermath of my capture. I shook my head, "What - what have you done with Jim and Ben?"

Loki sneered and rolled his eyes, "Nothing. They are of no importance to me."

I deflated slightly, a strange sense of relief quelling the anger that surged inside of me at the inference that my friends and family meant nothing to him. My chest rose and fell rapidly, no longer aching with every breath I took, and I cautiously touched at my side only to find that I'd been fully healed. I ignored his slightly smug look and instead pressed on, "Where's Tony?"

"Stark is being held elsewhere with my brother. You do not need to concern yourself with them."

I bristled, "You took them both?" I shoved him, startling him for he took a cautious step back to steady himself upon his feet.

"I had no choice," he snarled. "I wanted you."

"So you bargained their lives for me?!" I could feel my hands ball into fists, "You bargained for me like some kind of whore?! For your _brother_?! You can't! I won't let you!"

"You have even less of a choice!" Loki snapped back, "You are mine and you shall do as I say. This is your place now," he flung his arm out, gesturing to the room, "these are your rooms and you are my ward. Do not question my actions, I have done what I have in order to make this up to you!"

"You can't make this up!" I bellowed, "Stop trying to! You can't just fucking fix this with a clever little deal. I'm not yours to claim and I never have been! Get it through your thick skull, I am _not_ your goddamn property no matter what your deal with Thanos says and I'll be damned if I act like I am. You fucking sacrifice your own family to call me a slave? To say I'm basically a concubine to the future ruler of Earth or whatever the hell you are?! No! I'm not having any of it! I won't!"

Loki ground his teeth together and abruptly took me by the arm, pulling me around as he turned and headed for the door. I wriggled in his grasp, fighting with him and cursing loudly, kicking my feet up as I tried to stop him from pulling me any further.

He dragged me out into a long hallway that was dimly lit and smelled of dampness and mildew. I continued to twist, shouting angrily at him, and he continued to drag me forward, down the dimly lit corridor, our footsteps echoing loudly on the brickwork of the building.

"Get off!" I shouted, my voice reverberating off the high ceilings, "Let go of me, Loki! Goddamn it!" I whipped around and hit him again, struggling desperately when he suddenly slammed me into the wall of the corridor knocking the wind out of me. He pressed his arm across my throat and I froze, my blood running cold as I stared up at him. He looked deadly, poised to choke the life out of me if I made another peep.

"_Don't_," his voice was barely a whisper, his eyes locked on mine..

"Loki?" A strange woman's voice echoed down the hall and I turned my head towards the source, straining my neck to see the woman. "What are you doing with that wretched little thing?"

My tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of my mouth as I realised who the voice belonged to: Amora.

"It's nothing," he said, raising his voice, "I'm just returning it to its proper holding place." He turned towards her and I swallowed, the movement forced, painful as his forearm pressed across my neck. My heart hammered out wild beats as she emerged from the shadows, her eyes focused upon me. Loki was holding me aloft, a few inches off the ground, and I found myself quivering at the sight of her. I didn't know what to make of Loki, but I knew this woman, this goddess, whatever she was, bid me nothing good.

She was tall and slender, with a mass of blonde hair that fell in a long plait down her back. Her eyes glinted in the soft light of the lamps that hung from the ceiling and she smirked, approaching Loki and I slowly.

"So this is the little mortal," she mocked, her voice taunting, "I might have expected more, you went to great lengths for a little pet, Loki."

He was quiet, then, "It's fine."

"Perhaps," Amora reached out, her long fingers lightly brushing over my cheek. I squirmed in Loki's grasp at the touch, letting out a soft whimper.

"Don't touch me," I said, hardly sounding as brave as I'd have hoped to.

She laughed, the noise enough to raise the hairs on the back of my neck and she continued to touch my face curiously, smirking all the while. Loki was standing stock still, the only thing that fully separated me from the goddess, and he remained where he stood, he jaw clenched. She gripped my chin suddenly, pulling me in closer to herself, and I panicked, eyes widening as she wrenched my chin forward.

"Such a pathetic little creature," she murmured. I fidgeted, wishing bitterly that Loki might intervene, might offer me some form of protection rather than to stand there. "I chose wisely, it would seem."

I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me again. _She _had chosen me? What the everloving fuck did that mean?!

"You won't be trouble for much longer now," she crooned, patting my cheek. "I'll see to that myself. It can only do you well to remember your place." She smiled, pulling back and then turned to Loki, "Surely you could have a guard take care of it rather than dirty your own hands?"

"I would prefer to handle it myself," he said, his voice clipped.

"Don't be foolish," she said, her eyes running over me once again as I struggled against Loki's hold. "I insist you call a guard for it."

Loki tensed, "You needn't call a guard for it, I can handle it just fine."

"We have more pressing matters to attend to, my Prince," she murmured, placing a hand upon his chest.

The realisation was a like a slap to the face. I stared at the two of them, understanding at last that the relationship Thor had hinted at during our conferencing with S.H.I.E.L.D. was not a platonic one, but more. I didn't know if it was romantic, I didn't know if it was purely physical, but it was enough of a betrayal to make me feel nauseous. I clamped my eyes shut, tilting my head back as I tried to block out the image in front of me.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real. I was dreaming. It was all just a bad dream.

It had to be.

Please.

I could hear the sound of footsteps, heavier, not nearly as light as either Amora's or Loki's footfalls, and I felt my stomach clench uneasily. I didn't want to be separated from Loki. As much as every part of me loathed every fibre of his being, he'd said he was keeping me safe. Being separated from him would stop that protecting, I'd be vulnerable and at risk of harm. For all I knew, Amora wanted my head and would have it the minute I'd been parted from Loki.

"Take the mortal girl to the others," Amora said as the footsteps came to a halt a few feet away. "See to it that it is disposed of properly where it belongs and report back to Prince Loki and I when you have finished."

"Yes, my Lady," a man said, his voice a monotone. I opened my eyes as Loki set me down. I could feel the hesitation in the movement but I forced myself to keep my eyes locked on the man in front of me; he was a tall, blonde haired man with strange blue eyes. Clinging to Loki now would only get me hurt, Amora would be certain of it.

The man reached out, grabbing my arm roughly and I yelped as I was tugged forward, stumbling slightly. I glanced back as Amora chuckled and could see Loki had tensed, the smile on his face strained.

"What the hell are you playing at?" I asked him, twisting in the man's grasp. I watched as Loki's eyes widened slightly before he recomposed himself, his face a mask.

The guard hesitated and I could see Amora cast Loki a curious look, but he remained calm, saying, "What are you waiting for?" He gestured towards the guard, his arm looping around Amora's waist possessively. "Stop dawdling about and put that thing where it belongs! I have no need of it, do as you see fit."

My mouth fell open and I began to struggle wildly against the guard, "No!" I shouted, watching as he turned away, Amora with him, "No! Loki! Stop! Please!" I cried out as the guard tugged me backwards again and I twisted wildly, shouting loudly, pleading. I was terrified. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to be vulnerable.

The man gave another tug just as I twisted and I could hear a distinct crack before pain shot up my arm. I cried out loudly, clamping my eyes shut as the stabbing pain raced through my body, blinding me, and I froze in my place, trying to get the man to let go of my arm.

"Get off!" I cried, struggling weakly. Pain again shot up my arm when I twisted and pulled and I let out a bark of pain. He only held tighter, sending more spasms of pain up my arm and I closed my eyes tightly, hot tears beginning to leak from the corners of my eyes. "Stop!" I begged, "Please, stop!"

I turned, hoping for a split second that I might see Loki making his way down the hall, that he'd have heard the shouts and my cry of pain. There was nothing behind us but an empty hall however, just as dank and dark as before. I quickly turned, my shoulders trembling as I held back another sob, and dragged in a breath as I tried to quicken my pace to match the man's. I followed him more obediently now, afraid of hurting myself further, and trailed after him deeper into the dark maze of halls.

After what felt like an eternity of walking, winding around turns and descending into deeper layers of cold, musty stone walls, the man came to a stop outside of a door. I swallowed, heart pounding in my chest, and watched as the strange guard pulled an aged and weathered key from his pocket. He slid the key into the lock, twisting it to the right and I could hear the sound of the door's inner workings clicking open.

He pushed the door open just enough for me to fit through and shoved me inside roughly. The door swung shut behind me with a loud thud and I could hear the lock slide back into place. I remained where I stood, bowing my head, and allowed a sob to break free from my lips.

There was a movement somewhere across the room as I dragged in a heavy breath and I froze, glancing up and around the small cell wildly, my heart beating faster as I dreaded the worst. Surely they didn't keep chitauri in a cell like this...

"Raleigh?"

I had never once felt so relieved as to hear Tony Stark's voice.

"Tony, is that you?" I asked, wiping my eyes on the back of my hand. I cradled my injured arm to my side, taking a cautious step forward and watched as he emerged from the shadows of the room. He smiled as he looked down at me and in the dim light I could see that he was worse for wear. He looked as though he'd been beaten a few times and hit by who knew what, but he was walking fine and didn't seem to have any broken bones. Which was more than I could say for myself.

"Well, you're a sight for sore eyes," he grinned. He turned slightly, raising his voice, "Thor, wake up, Raleigh's here."

"Raleigh?" Thor sounded surprised. "Why is she here?"

"Beats me, ask your brother," Tony replied darkly, before adding, "probably the same reason we're here knowing the little bastard."

I smiled up at the God of Thunder as he came from the opposite end of the room, brushing some of his blonde hair away from his face. He returned my smile, placing a hand upon my shoulder affectionately.

"How are you?" I asked him, feeling incredibly foolish for asking such a dumb question. The answer should have been obvious.

"I have been better," Thor nodded, "Amora has stripped me of my powers and Mjölnir since capturing Tony Stark and I in New York."

"Psycho bitch," Tony muttered. He pointed to my arm, "You all right there? You don't look so hot, kiddo."

I shook my head, "I think that the guard might've done something to my arm. I was pulling and twisting and he held fast and I heard a crack. I dunno if I broke something or not but it really hurts."

Tony's jaw tensed and he spared a glance up at Thor, "Loki didn't come running?"

"No," I balked, shaking my head, "don't be silly."

Thor sighed heavily, turning away for a moment, and walked to the other side of the room. When he returned, he carried a stool in each hand which he set down. He looked to Tony, "You can get one for yourself?" he raised his eyebrows. "Or is your back still in pain?"

"I've got it," Tony waved him off and disappeared for a moment. "Probably should turn the lights on a bit anyway since we've got a guest."

I smiled, watching as the room suddenly grew a bit brighter and searched the cell to find that Tony had lit a torch that hung beside the door. There was a trail of what I assumed was oil that filled shallow indents in the wall and caught the flame of the torch, lighting as well.

Tony tossed the box of matches down and picked up a stool, grimacing as he did so, then walked back to where Thor and I stood.

"Sit," he said, nodding at me. "You don't need to be up right now."

I smiled weakly, sitting down and watched as both Tony and Thor did the same, each taking a seat upon one of the stools. I fidgeted for a moment, wiping away a few of the stray tears that lingered on my cheeks, and then said, "Where are we exactly?"

"Don't know," Tony shook his head and sighed heavily. "Amora snatched Thor and I from Stark Towers that night and when we came to, we were down here. Been dealing with the bitch and her little slaves ever since."

Thor grimaced, looking down at me, "Amora is not to be meddled with as it would appear you have learnt."

"Yeah, I noticed. But that doesn't exactly answer why," I said numbly. "Why us? Why are we here?"

Thor and Tony exchanged glances and Thor sighed, looking back at me. His face was somber and his voice was quiet, "We are here to die, Raleigh, nothing more than that."

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_**A/N:**__ There you have it, the reunion chapter. Hopefully it's lived up to expectations and given you a taste for what's to come next. I'm a bit more sorted with living arrangements now that my term has come to an end so I should be back on a fairly regular basis, I hope._

_Thank you as always to anyone who has followed and/or favourited the story or myself. And thank you, also, to anyone generous enough to review. I greatly appreciate it. :)_

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**Reviews:**

**Loki'sDreamer****:** It's a bit confusing, I suppose, but I think that makes it a bit more fun. Not knowing what his true motivations are is pretty interesting, in my opinion.  
**Ellize Avalon****:** I'm glad that everything made sense with that chapter :) I really wanted to get that posted and was looking for a really pivotal time when I could get it up that would work well. Turns out that it was probably this past chapter. Sorry, but afraid I was moving around and had some exams so I wasn't able to write as quickly as I'd have liked to. :\ Might be a bit more regular now. I hope so anyway! I'm supposed to see Iron Man 3 with my boyfriend and another mutual friend of ours this weekend, I think, so I've not yet seen it actually, but I know the story on account of the Extremis arc. And the Thor 2 trailer was a bit iffy for me. I'm optimistic though given that the director has done Game of Thrones. With any luck it ought to be pretty good. :)  
**Poodle Warriors****:** He's a bit of a tough nut to crack and I'm very glad it filled in some blanks :D I was hoping that it would do that because there definitely have been some blanks throughout the story that needed to be filled. And that chapter was where I always intended to do my filling. It's a bit funny, yes :p I had a chuckle over it quite a few times.  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** I'm actually kind of happy someone pointed out the way Amora refers to Raleigh - I had been wondering if the growth from racism ("it" "mortal" "Midgardian") to tolerant in Loki was apparent so picking up on Amora's racism against mortals makes me happy. And all in good time. :D  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** I see what you did there! I'm glad you liked it :) And I'm glad that was interesting to read and that you enjoyed it. Thank you very much!  
**NoVacancyMind****:** I'm glad you liked it so much! :D More soon, I hope!  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** I'm glad you enjoyed it :) It was definitely something I'd been wanting to do for a while now.  
**CarmiaArkenstone****:** Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate hearing that! :) xx  
**TimeLady945****:** That always annoys me. I waited about a year for one fic author to finish her story as I started when she was about 5 chapters from the end. It killed me. But I still loved the story. I always endeavour to stick through with my fics until the very end though. :)  
**KMD88****:** Haha, but isn't he now? :p  
**Fat Old Sun****:** I personally think she's a bit tragic, but she's entirely contemptible at the same time and I absolutely despise her too.


	40. At a Loss

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any Marvel characters, nor do I intend to claim otherwise. All plot and original characters are mine and respectively licensed to me for my personal use. Life would be infinitely simpler if I were making a mint off of the Thor comics however.

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**Chapter Forty: At a Loss**

He stared up at them, unable to string his words together, completely at a loss for anything coherent.

"You - you can't get her back?" Jim croaked, glancing between the Avengers. "What do you mean?"

Natasha, at least that's what he thought her name was, spared a glance at one of the men, who he was fairly certain was named Clint. They exchanged their glance and she took a step forward, uncrossing her arms as she sat down at the conference table.

"It isn't possible for us to make contact or to locate any of them right now. We don't know where they are or if they're even alive," she said, her voice quiet. "We can only hope for the best right now and keep looking."

"They can't be dead," Jim shook his head, "that's - no, that's impossible. We'd know. They just can't be." He leaned back in his seat, rubbing his face with his hand before he raked his fingers through his hair, letting out a long breath. Stay cool, he reminded himself. Stay cool. This was just like any other day at work.

He stared up at the ceiling of the conference room in Stark Towers, fear gnawing at his insides as he wondered just what this could truly mean. It was entirely possible that Raleigh, Tony, and Thor were dead but it seemed unlikely. They'd know by now if any of them had died. There would have been some kind of big show attached to their deaths. The bastard would have come out of hiding to show the whole world his achievement.

For the last several weeks, he had been the errand boy of the underground agency he'd come to know as S.H.I.E.L.D., their liaison to Raleigh's family, their connection to the NYPD, and apparently the only 'citizen' with enough wits about him to be kept in the loop on what was happening. The more time he spent with the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, the more he felt like a Pleb. He knew nothing that they did, their skills were far superior to his own, their technology easily bypassed anything he had experienced in the NYPD and yet, despite all of this, they _still _didn't have a clue as to where they'd taken Raleigh.

He was still struggling to remember the names of the different agents he had met though if he was to be entirely honest he simply didn't give a shit about their names. Maria, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Phil, Pepper... There were more, but six was already too many for him to handle in his current state. He'd been sleeping in the patrol car on most of his shifts with Ray, who had actually been the one to suggest he try sleeping instead of going without on duty. The stress of dealing with the whole situation had left him sitting up late, wide awake and wracked with guilt for weeks on end.

If he'd just been a bit more attentive, if he'd been quicker, if he'd thought for just a second...

Jim returned his focus to the Avengers, who were again gathered in front of him, none of them saying much. He'd been allowed to sit in on their meetings sometimes and at other times was given private briefings of his own, like this one. Pepper Potts, Tony Stark's ex-assistant and acting CEO of Stark Industries, and some girl - he was pretty sure her name was Joan or something like that - who knew Thor were sitting at the table as well. Pepper's face was currently resting in her hands, her hair tied neatly in a ponytail that would keep the blonde locks from hiding any tears she might be shedding. If he had understood right, Pepper and Tony were a thing and had been for a while now.

The girl sitting at the far end of the table - Jamie maybe? - was slumped in her seat, her eyes wide as she seemed to be mulling over what the Avengers were saying. He didn't exactly know where she fit in with Thor, but she'd been working at Princeton and occasionally made the drive up to the city with an older man named Erik. She seemed important enough, especially if she was in this meeting. She couldn't have been much older than Jim and Raleigh, but he'd never bothered to ask. Making friends in this kind of environment seemed wrong. After all, what was he supposed to say? 'Sorry your boyfriend is missing and possibly dead, I'm Jim, what's your name?' There was no good way to go about this.

"We'll find them," Agent Coulson said, clearly trying to be comforting.

He slowly sat up, looking towards the balding man that had spoken and raised his eyebrows, "You'll have to forgive me, but I'm not too sure about that."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Pepper tense at the words and the other girl's jaw stiffened slightly as well.

Phil sighed, holding his hands up, "We will, Jim. Don't worry. It's just going to take some time."

"Isn't there any way that we could track Mjölnir?" the girl suddenly piped up. She wiped at her eyes and sat forward, looking towards Bruce. Mjölnir? Was that some kind of joke? What the hell was a Mjölnir?

Bruce shrugged, "We could try, but I don't know if it'll work, Jane. If Amora has any kind of magic working on it or Loki has stripped it somehow, we might not be able to hone in on the isotopes."

Ah yes, Jane, that was it. Jim silently admonished himself for having forgotten such an easy name. It didn't get much simpler than Jane.

"We almost had our particle detector working before Tony was taken," Jane reasoned. "We could go back to the lab and try to see if we can track Mjölnir. We've got to have trace amounts of data left on its isotopic compounds, if we have that we could find them."

Good going, Jane, Jim silently cheered. At least someone was keeping their head in all of this.

"That's if they're being kept in the same place," Steve said, grimacing slightly. Jim sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose and could feel the man turn his gaze towards where he sat. "Is there a problem, son?"

Jim nodded, "Yeah, actually, there is a problem. The problem is that we're making no fucking progress and that every time someone has a half decent idea all of you S.H.I.E.L.D. monkeys throw it out and say that something might go wrong or might not be perfect. Why the hell does that matter? You've got two guys out there and a civilian! If I had two guys from my squad out there, we'd be doing everything we could to get them back."

Steve pressed his lips together in a thin line, "Look, I understand that you're upset because of Raleigh, but you need to calm -"

"I am calm!" Jim slammed his hand down on the table and could see both Clint and Natasha tense. "I've been calm for weeks and I've been siphoning whatever I'm allowed to back to her father and little brother. I'm just saying that it doesn't seem like all that bad an idea to do whatever it is that Jane over here is talking about - if you have some kind of particle detector and know what Mjölnir's composition is and have the data stored, why don't you just try tracing it? I mean, it had to have occurred to you guys before today that you could reconfigure it from whatever you had it set to before, right? You're not stupid." He gestured to Bruce, "He's a fucking physicist for Christ's sake! I mean, _come on!"_ He sat back in his seat, looking down the table to see that Jane was giving him a grateful look. He tilted his head slightly and then looked back at Steve and between the other Avengers.

"We could try it," Bruce said before Steve could respond to Jim. "I'm not making any promises because we designed this to find traces of magic, but we can try it."

Jane got to her feet quickly, "I'll go down to the labs then," she said, nodding to the Avengers. "If anything new happens, you'll know where to find me."

"I'll go with you," Bruce said, sparing Steve a glance before he followed the young woman from the conference room.

Pepper straightened slowly, saying, "Colonel Rhodes recently put the military on high alert for anything suspicious and Jarvis is also analysing data from across the planet, I could forward the information to S.H.I.E.L.D. this afternoon."

Natasha nodded, "That would be great, actually. We have a tap on most surveillance as it is, but anything the military is openly offering is always welcome."

Pepper nodded, "I'll also be sure to keep the press aware that Tony is away on a private holiday and that there's nothing to be concerned with. Has anyone contacted Asgard?"

There was a quiet exchange of nervous looks, signalling that the answer was, of course, a resounding _no_. How incredibly shocking. Government schmucks.

"To our understanding," Clint said, breaking his silence finally, "Director Fury is supposed to make contact with Asgard today. We don't know much more than that."

Pepper eyed him sceptically, but said nothing about it, instead replying, "Well then, if that will be all for today, I'll be going." Jim watched as the woman got to her feet, picking up a leather binder she had been carrying with her, and walked from the room.

He huffed, uninterested in remaining in the conference room with the Avengers for any longer and stood. He had no desire to be lectured for his hot head or for his _feelings_. His feelings weren't clouding a damn thing. He was right and he knew it. He pulled his coat from the back of the chair and tugged it on, "Anyway, I've got a shift tonight so I need to go, too, if I'm going to be keeping the Alexanders in the loop. Anything else I should know?"

Steve shook his head, "No, that'll be it, Jim."

"Cool," Jim gave him a casual two fingered salute, earning a disapproving glare from the soldier, and wheeled around on his heel, making his move to leave.

"Hold on," Phil said, holding up a hand as he began to head for the door.

Jim ground his teeth together, turning just enough to see them. He lifted his eyebrows, "Yeah?"

"We wanted to discuss the possibility of an opening in S.H.I.E.L.D. with you, Officer Fylan."

Jim turned on his heel, his eyes narrowing slightly, "You want me to put on a fancy suit and run around chasing aliens all day? Or do you want me to fetch coffee for a bunch of pencil pushers?"

Phil hesitated, clearly caught off guard, "Well, we wanted to offer you the opportunity to come into a recruitment day for evaluation. If you meet our standards you could become an agent with S.H.I.E.L.D., the benefits are outstanding and there's access to a fast track through the ranks for someone like you. We've looked at your records: top of your class in the academy, excellent grades throughout your education; you applied to Quantico for next Spring with pending acceptance, but you don't have a degree despite having been accepted at Tufts and Stanford. Do you think that the FBI is going to take you that easily? We're offering you an in for a higher form of law enforcement. I'd take it if I were you."

Jim rolled his eyes, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans, "Yeah? You're gonna threaten me with my Quantico application? Use that over my head?" he asked, resisting the urge to snort. "This offer sounds real lovely. Let me tell you."

"Do you have an answer?" Steve asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Yeah, I've got one for you," Jim nodded as he gripped the door handle, "two words, actually: fuck off."

* * *

"I don't understand," Ben said, staring up at Jim in confusion. "Tell me the story again."

"I don't know the full thing, kiddo," Jim replied, frowning as he looked over at the boy. They sat together on a park bench, watching as children and their mothers strolled past, the summer heat beating down upon them.

"But, you know more than me. What did she tell you? Leigh had to tell you stuff, right?"

Jim grimaced, leaning back as he sighed, "Well, I know this. She met him last autumn, she got involved with him looking for this Book of Ullr, which no one really knows much about, and when they found it, they got taken in by the government. Raleigh stayed with them for a little while and this Loki character -"

"Do you think he's really the Norse god?"

Jim turned, looking down at Ben, "God's not real."

Ben pursed his lips slightly, annoyed by the statement, "Yeah, maybe, but Norse gods still could be."

"Yeah, I doubt that, kid," Jim said darkly. He took a drink of his coffee, then said, "If there's a god or gods, for that matter, they're not supposed to let this shit happen. And don't those Norse gods have some kind of hierarchy? Why doesn't the guy in charge come down to save Thor and the rest of us?"

"Maybe he knows it'll turn out all right."

Jim rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Yeah, Ben, because a bunch of outdated fairy tales are just like real life. There's some nice god out there who knows everything that's going to happen, I'm sure."

"You don't have to be a jackass just because you're upset," Ben shot back, angrily. "I get it, you don't believe in god or magic or anything, but just because Raleigh's missing doesn't mean you get to be an asshole to me and everyone else. She's my _sister_."

He flinched, knowing that the boy was right, even if he was loathe to admit it.

They were quiet for a little while, Ben picking at his cup of coffee occasionally. He looked up at Jim finally, "So he just came back and snatched her and nobody can find her?"

Jim shook his head, resisting the urge to laugh bitterly, "No. No one can find her or Tony Stark or that Thor guy."

"But..." Ben fell silent again, sighing. "If they're not gods, do you think they're aliens?"

Jim shrugged, "Could be. I don't really give a damn about what they are. I just want Raleigh back here and them off of this planet."

Ben nodded, "Right."

"How's your dad?" he asked, changing the subject. He hadn't seen William in several days, the last time being over a tense dinner that resulted in Jim being asked to leave when tempers grew too short.

It was now Ben's turn to shrug. "He's...all right, I guess. Apparently him and Leigh had a big fight over breakfast right before it happened. He's kind of been moping around a bit, you saw, not really as happy as he usually is still."

"Not singing while he makes pancakes on Saturdays?" Jim arched an eyebrow at the boy who shook his head.

"Didn't even make them last Saturday. He went into the office and spent the day there."

"I'll talk to him later, you don't need to pass anything onto him this time."

Ben shook his head again, "No, I'll do it. It's probably better if he hears it from me, anyway. He's still pretty mad at you and bad news won't help."

Jim frowned, taking another sip of his coffee. He was quiet, the taste of the bitter liquid seeping into his tongue and clouding his senses momentarily. He sighed heavily, looking down at the boy, and then reached out, ruffling his hair. "It'll be okay."

"You don't have to say that," Ben told him, bowing his head slightly. "It's better that you don't. You said, one time, that it's better not to make promises you can't keep, remember?"

Jim grimaced, remembering that conversation. It had been shortly after the attacks in New York the previous Spring; several of Ben's classmates had been trapped in rubble when one of the buildings downtown had collapsed. They'd survived, luckily, but the ordeal had been stressful for everyone involved and Ben had been made many empty promises by figures of authority.

"I remember," he murmured, "I do."

"Then don't make promises like that."

Jim stared at the teenager, then looked out at the park, his eyes wandering across the leafy green trees and the people who milled about, heading for the lawns and to distant areas he could not see but only knew. This was already different, listening to Ben talk about false promises like an adult and hearing him take responsibility to pass on bad news to his father. It'd nearly been two months and yet he had already grown, perhaps this had been happening for a long while and Jim simply hadn't noticed. He couldn't be bothered to ask for fear of offending the teenager, but he certainly hadn't been around the kid enough to see this recent growth spurt. Hell, he could still remember when Ben was playing with Pokémon cards and watching cartoons. Watching him actually grow up was a bit unfathomable.

"You talk to your mother lately?" he shot Ben a curious look.

"Yeah," his voice was clipped.

"And?"

"Upset, angry, that kind of thing."

"She blame us for not being in the toilets when it happened?"

Ben smirked, "Probably, but she hasn't said. I think Dad would find a way to physically reach through the phone and kill her at this point if she tried to say something about us messing up that night."

Jim smirked, chuckling, and nodded. "I can believe that."

"He'll get over it, you know. He's not gonna hold it against you for saying that there's little chance, he's just...you know."

"I'm not too worried, Ben," he looked back at Raleigh's brother. "You holding up okay? You're taking this pretty well, it seems."

He shrugged, "Not really, but I just kind of figure that if he came back for Raleigh he had to have a reason, right? And he could've killed her there. She's nobody important like Tony Stark or Thor. They're part of The Avengers. Nobody is really going to know her name."

"You think it's a ploy?"

He frowned, "I don't know. I'm scared for her, you know, just in case things are bad, but if they're together, I don't know. I figure I've got to keep my hopes up. That's what they tell everyone, right? Be hopeful and be realistic."

"Well, I'm not sure that hoping Loki is keeping Raleigh safe is entirely realistic."

"Maybe not, maybe it is. We didn't get hurt that night and he could've hurt us, right?"

Jim's frown twisted as he recalled his brief encounter with the god. The threats and their exchange in general... He shook it from his mind and turned to look at Ben, "He could have, we're just very lucky that he didn't."

Ben nodded slowly, musing, "He did destroy half the city."

Jim couldn't help but begin to laugh at how nonchalant the words sounded as the teenager said them and when he spared a glance over his shoulder, Ben was smirking, pleased with himself.

"Not bad," he approved, sitting up. "So Susan went back to Boston, yeah?"

Ben shook his head, sighing, "No, she's taken up the guest room for the last few weeks and now she wants to stay for an _indeterminate period of time _on account of Raleigh..."

"Bet you're loving that," Jim teased quietly.

He shrugged, "She watches _The Price Is Right_ sometimes, I could get used to it. Better than _One Tree Hill_ like Raleigh used to watch."

Jim began to laugh again, nodding, "Yeah, I bet Susan doesn't get all dreamy eyed over Drew Carey like Leigh got for what's his face."

Ben snorted, "Yeah, she just gets angry when someone doesn't guess something easy right and lectures them through the TV."

"She cooking tonight?" Jim asked curiously, lifting his eyebrows. Ben shook his head, "What's she doing then?"

"She found some kind of bingo hall not far from where we live so apparently she's going to go there to get some air and make friends," Ben rolled his eyes at the idea. "Dad won't be home 'til late. He's got a business trip coming up in like a month and a half or something that he's busy preparing for."

"Where to?"

"Somewhere in Europe," Ben answered, "I think he's supposed to go to Germany but I really don't know. It's in the really early stages of planning but it's some big conference on energy."

Jim nodded, looking up at the light blue sky, then back at the young man. "I'm on duty at nine tonight, so I've got some time to kill. You want to go throw the ball around?"

Ben smiled, perking up at the suggestion. "Yeah?"

Jim nodded again, "Yeah, of course. I mean, if you want to waste one of your last summer nights with me." Ben snorted at the idea and Jim got to his feet, stretching slightly as he glanced around at the August afternoon. "You still have the one I gave you for your birthday a few years ago?"

"Yeah!" Ben's grin widened as he stood too, "You remember where we put the mitts last summer?"

"Somewhere in the basement, I think," Jim mused, resting a hand on Ben's shoulder as he began to steer the teenager towards the entrance of the park. "So I got a job offer today."

"Yeah?" Ben looked up at him, frowning slightly, "You gonna take it?"

"We'll talk about it over pizza. Can't let you go hungry if Susan's out of the house."

* * *

"Your friends want to go where, exactly?" Jim lifted his eyebrows at Ben as they walked through the city street later that evening, making their way home from the pizza shop.

"Amsterdam," he repeated, nodding.

"I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and say that they aren't going for Van Gogh or the architecture," Jim pursed his lips at the sixteen year old.

Ben smirked, looking up at him, "Good guess, Sherlock."

"And did you want to go?" he asked curiously, frowning at the implication a yes would bring.

Ben shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, they're friends from the team, most of them are going to be seniors next year so we don't see each other much except for when we all get together and drink."

"You do know you have to be eighteen to smoke in the shops don't you?" he asked, threading his fingers over the lacing of the baseball as they continued on their walk.

"You do?"

"Yes," Jim nodded. "Do you remember Mike Olsen? Raleigh and I used to hang out with him on the weekends sometimes and he was into smoking. He went after he graduated Trinity for two weeks."

"Yeah, I remember him," Ben replied. "Did he get ID'd or something?"

"He was eighteen, but a couple of the guys he was with were summer birthdays and only seventeen. They got turned away and denied."

"Well, these guys said they have fake ID."

Jim's eyebrows quirked up at the mention of the fake IDs, "Sorry, what were names of these guys again?"

"Jim," Ben groaned, rubbing his face. "Come on, man."

"It's a very serious crime to have fake ID, Ben," he replied sternly. "If you have one, I want you to get rid of it as soon as you get home. If I were to catch you with it or any of your friends, I wouldn't have a choice in the matter. You could go to jail."

"You'd put me in jail?" Ben said, stopping in his tracks. "Seriously?!"

Jim rolled his eyes, "If you break the law and I'm on duty, with the unfortunate luck of running into you, yes, Ben, I have to. It's my job. Now go home and cut that thing up and put Amsterdam out of your mind for the next two years."

"But ‑"

"No," Jim replied shaking his head, "this isn't a joke. If I find that thing, I will take it from you and you will never see it again."

Ben's shoulders sagged in defeat, "I paid sixty bucks for that thing."

"Then you got ripped off," Jim replied, walking back to him. He placed a hand on the Ben's shoulder, preparing to pull him along when his eyes travelling to the television screen in the window of the electronics store, something catching his attention in the periphery of his vision. He could just make out an explosion on the screen with a camera shaking and so he turned, quickly walking towards the store front, Ben following him closely.

"Holy shit," Ben said quietly, his eyes wide and frightened. "Where is that?"

Jim shook his head, "I... I don't know," he said, watching as the footage on the television continued to play, explosions rocking cameras and sending people fleeing, screaming and covering their heads. The footage cut back, the reel beneath the video footage read that it was somewhere in Sweden, and he gripped Ben's arm in his hand tightly as it dawned upon him that it might not have been a coincidence at all.

"Come on," he said, pushing the boy away from the screens as a large, ornate building began to crumple into rubble. "Let's go. Come on."

"Jim, is that a terrorist attack?" Ben looked up at him curiously, shocked.

His phone vibrated in his pocket as he pushed Ben towards the subway station, quickening his pace and he pulled it out, reading _Phil _across the top of the screen. He pocketed the mobile again, steering Ben in a new direction.

"No, Ben, it's something much worse."

* * *

**A/N: **_So, sadly, I'm afraid that this is a bit of a filler chapter more than anything else and used to show a lapse of time and progression in some characters that will definitely no longer be secondary, yet alone tertiary (in Ben's case anyway), come the sequel. Both of these characters will be taking more primary positions among the characters._

_While I'm at it, I should probably mention that a two-fingered salute, while slang for a rather obscene gesture, is a very real military salute that is used by several countries globally, including Poland. So if you're thinking that Jim flipped Steve off, he didn't. It's an actual salute. For realsies._

_Loki and Raleigh and all of that fun stuff will be back in 41. Promise. _

_Thank you again to anyone who fav'd or followed and also thank you so much to anyone that reviewed the last chapter. I greatly appreciate each and every one of you readers. You've made this an absolute treat the write and post and it's exceeded all of my expectations. Thank you so very much._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**KMD88****:** You also texted it to me! :p I'm really pleased that Amora is easily becoming the most hated character in all of this. I definitely wanted her to be contemptible character so kind of pleased that she's succeeded. And I'm not even close to showing just how ruthless and crazy she is. You got your Steve in this chapter! That's a bit silly, but it felt like it'd make sense. It's hard not to poke or aggravate something when you're in pain. It's so easy to overdo it. I got this one up pretty quickly, didn't I?!  
**CarmiaArkenstone****:** The day will be saved, eventually... Thank you! :)  
**Loki'sDreamer****:** Oh, she's pretty terrible. That's just the tip of the iceberg with her. I definitely view her as being one of the most ruthless characters I've written. And yes, interesting in deed.  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Raleigh's definitely getting the short end of the stick and I tend to think that Loki's viewing it as the ends justifying the means. Raleigh being in pain is temporary and only for a short while compared to what he believes the ends will bring, which is her company and safety with him. I also think he's got to walk a very fine, tight line in order to keep his allegiance to Amora and Thanos from coming into question as he's really more of a tool for them. Anywho, this one is up relatively soon. Less than a week. :)  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** Whoop! :) Loki's between a rock and a hard place right now I think, but that certainly doesn't excuse him by any means. Thank you! :) Hope you enjoyed this one.  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** With any luck it'll all work out, so fingers crossed!  
**Poodle Warriors****:** It definitely did and yes, definitely worth hoping that no one dies. Loki clearly wasn't planning on all of this going as badly as it was, I should think. Hope you've enjoyed it : )  
**Always On The Go****:** Hello! Pleasure to meet you! For starters, thank you very much; that's incredibly kind of you to say. I'm really very glad that you have enjoyed the story so much thus far, especially since the climax is still impending. It means a great deal to hear as it tells me I've done a fairly good job. So thank you again, very much. It's been an absolute pleasure these last several months to share stories on here.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** It's hard not to want to hit her in the face, I think. She's pretty damn awful. :p  
**amakitkat****:** Little shit, indeed. Tony and Thor will have their moment with Amora and Loki soon enough. I'll try to see if I can post weekly, but I'm a bit pressed as I'm job hunting and spending a fair amount of time with my partner when he's off work. So when I've got the opportunity, I'll certainly write and post it. Thank you. :)  
**TimeLady945****:** Thank you! :D I quite liked her defiant attitude in that chapter. It was very much necessary I think. Shows that she's grown a bit and isn't going to be the same person that Loki left. I'm glad you've been enjoying it :) Thank you!


	41. Stroke of Genius

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any Marvel characters nor do I intend to claim otherwise. All OCs and plot are mine.

* * *

**Chapter Forty-One: Stroke of Genius**

"You think it'll work?" I asked Tony, rubbing my face as I stared at the plan he'd drawn in the dirt floor of our cell. I looked up at him when he gave me a dirty look and lifted my hands into the air, "Hey," I said, "it's not like this is some basic prison we're trying to bust out of."

"I know that this isn't a normal prison, Raleigh," Tony said tartly, rolling his eyes as he lifted a hand to scratch the beard that had formed along his jaw. "But in case it's slipped your mind, I've got a bit of history with these kind of places."

"We don't even know where this place is," I stressed, sitting down on the ground beside him. I sighed heavily and rested my face in my hands. "This could go wrong really easily."

"And sitting around will not aid us anymore than taking action," Thor said, approaching us where we sat. He frowned at me, "I thought you might be more enthusiastic about this, Raleigh."

"I..." I shook my head. "I am, but I just don't want to do something unless it's foolproof."

"Well, there are no absolutes," Tony said, sitting back on his heels as he looked at me. "So we can either take the chance or we can be sitting ducks. What do you want?"

I lifted my head, staring down at the plan, my eyes roving over the lines and details of the plot that Tony had explained in painstaking detail for the last half hour, then sighed. It was either this or sitting around like fish in a barrel. The choices weren't great as far as I was concerned, but the answer was fairly obvious. I hadn't come this far for nothing.

"I'm in," I nodded slowly. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it."

Tony's eyes glinted with determination as I turned to look at him and I licked at my lips, wetting them. They were dry, chaffing, and my tongue felt strange on the rough and cracked skin, but I could feel a spark of my own determination within me. I nodded again, more confidently, and looked up at Thor, who was smiling, pleased with my decision.

"Well," Tony said, getting to his feet slowly, "no need to turn this into an emotional moment. Let's get this show on the road."

I grinned, boosting myself up to my feet and spared a glance down at the drawing in the dirt again. We had just a few hours. A few hours that separated us from freedom or terrible pain and punishment. I was hoping for the former, praying even.

Tony wiped his foot across the drawing, destroying it, and then clapped his hands together, "Thor, get the TV. We're going to have ourselves a little fry up."

* * *

I'd lost track of the days after about two weeks. It had been miserable for the most part, with Thor and Tony offering me my only company, and I accepted it wearily. I'd woken one morning, not long after my transfer to their cell, only to find that my arm was no longer in pain and that I felt healthier than I had in days, as if I'd had a much better rest than I'd been getting on the cold, hard cots we shared on rotation. I'd had a nagging suspicion that it wasn't a fluke of luck, but that I'd had a silent visitor in the dead of the night, one who only made the occasional appearance and would treat us with disdain otherwise.

Loki, for whatever reason, had made several appearances over the course of our confinement. Normally, he was accompanied by guards or had followed Amora down into our rooms. She took a great deal of pleasure in taunting the three of us and had on several occasions made a point of torturing Tony and Thor. I'd remained, for the most part, unharmed. I didn't really consider myself to be in perfect condition, despite having remained untouched. I needed a shower, a proper meal, more to drink, and a decent night's sleep, but I hadn't been tortured by Amora, which I figured was Loki's doing. Whatever that deal he'd made with Thanos entailed had ended up working to my benefit, even if watching Thor and Tony twitch on the floor in pain, screaming in agony as the Enchantress worked her magic upon them turned my stomach over.

He never stayed for long, he normally only made appearances when the guards brought in the nightly meal and threw barbs at Thor and Tony. Thor had attempted to grapple with him once, probably hellbent on killing him - and I could hardly blame him - only to be slammed into the ground by the guards while Loki slipped out of the door looking visibly shaken. I could recall the twisted satisfaction I'd felt at seeing how he had been disturbed by Thor's outburst. I didn't know if he'd felt fear, but he'd been shocked, possibly disturbed, and he'd fled. It'd been enough for the three of us to quietly celebrate, revelling in Thor's daring for several nights after despite the cut left by a guard, which marred his forehead.

As the days stretched into weeks and then into what I presumed to be months, I could feel the beginning of the season's change from summer to autumn. Our rooms grew damper; the mornings were chillier and the evenings were, too. Thor and Tony occasionally slept beside me, sharing body heat when the nights grew cold and our breath rose before us. The days grew shorter, the sun setting much sooner than it had before, and I began to wonder if I would soon begin to see leaves fall through the small window that was just above our heads.

We'd mostly remained vigilant, eager to escape if the opportunity presented itself, but in all of this time, none had. It was almost like the guards were protecting a fortress. They were on duty constantly and their rotations were like clockwork. There was never a single misstep. Thor chalked it up to mind control at the hands of Thanos. There was no other way, he'd argued, that a bunch of Midgardian soldiers would be so meticulous and so methodical in their behaviour. It was otherworldly. They used Asgardian tactics and methods that he had never seen to guard us, but it soon became routine to us and we learned their habits and the schedules that they used.

Amora had last come into our holding cell days earlier, a wide smile painted across her features that I had never seen before, and she brought with her a small television set that she placed upon a table. When it had been set in its proper place, she had turned, giving us a gloating look, and then left. We'd sat for a few moments, staring at it in confusion, but when it flickered to life, blaring out the news of an attack on a city in Sweden, it'd become Tony's mission to free us. Remaining in captivity would only result in more deaths.

The television, despite our best efforts, had refused to turn off and over the next several days, perhaps longer, it showed constant destruction. Cities around the world that we knew were being destroyed, brought to their knees, chitauri swarming the skies of several capitols and killing hundreds of people. The death tolls rose, as did our tempers, and it didn't take long at all before Thor had put his fist through the screen of the television, cutting his hand and forearm. I'd spent the better part of the evening picking out glass from his hand while Tony pulled apart the television, harvesting valuable parts and discarding others. The wreckage of Thor's momentary rush of fury - which came when Santa Fe was attacked - now lay in a front of the door, rebuilt for this moment with the hope that it would prove to be useful.

We sat poised and ready. My heart hammered loudly in my chest as I crouched beside Tony behind our cot, which had been turned over onto its side. Across the room, Thor did the same, waiting behind the doorframe with a pillow case and a tie in his hands. It all felt comical, I realised in a sudden rush. It was hopeless and yet I was investing all of my faith into this, praying that when the two guards walked into our room, they'd be susceptible to our ambush and the plot that Tony had developed.

He'd made it out of one prison already, I reminded myself, this would be like riding a bike for him.

Of course, last time he'd also had an award winning engineer complete with a workshop and the assignment to make a bomb in his lock up. Not a twenty year old university student, a powerless Norse god, and a bunch of standard living items like bedsheets and glasses. I had no idea how he'd managed to fashion the cables and wires that he had, but they looked pretty legit to me, and so I said nothing when he rigged them up, preparing for the first part of our escape.

I exhaled slowly, sparing Tony a glance only to find that he was looking at me curiously.

"Are you all right there, kiddo?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I told him. "Fine."

"Be quiet," Thor hissed from the other side of the room, "they will hear you."

Tony rolled his eyes, crouching lower, "Can you believe that guy? You'd think this was war..."

I smiled, feeling a little bit better as Tony attempted to make light of the situation. The plan was rather simple really. There were three guards on duty every evening who brought our meal. Beyond them, Thor and Tony figured that they would be able to take care of most of the guards in physical hand to hand combat and with the few weapons they'd made and stashed in their pockets. If we made it out, we were as good as free, but I had to wonder if we were even fit to make it through the night.

Stop being cynical, I told myself, closing my eyes. Being cynical was just going to ruin the whole plan. I had to keep my head in the game.

We waited for a few more minutes in silence, confident that we'd met our deadline, and at long last we heard the sound of footsteps falling in unison as the guards made their way down the hall. Tony's shoulders tensed and he peered out at the room from behind our blockade, nodding to Thor who readied himself, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

My eyes lingered on the rebuilt television as the guards came to a stop outside of the door, their keys jingling in hand. Tony had taken the small analogue television and rebuilt it, hopefully with the CRT in place, and wired it up to the door handle. It was a stretch but with any luck, there would be a small electrocution at the hands of Amora's 'gift.'

"Here we go," Tony said, huddling low again, he pulled me down with himself, looking at me. "Remember, Raleigh, run. No matter what happens, keep running."

I nodded, feeling fear knot in my stomach as I waited for the sound that would bring the start of our escape.

_SNAP._

Tony's grin widened and he looked over the bed for a moment when a loud _BANG _signalled that the television had imploded upon itself. He quickly ducked back down, smiling triumphantly and nudged me, "Showtime."

At the same time, a strangled yell sounded from outside the room before there was a _thud_. My heart began to beat faster as the guards began to shout amongst themselves and then came the sound of a foot against the door. Just as Tony had predicted. Once, twice, and...

The door broke open, the wood splintering as it swung open, blocking Thor from view. I was paralysed where I sat, watching as the guard entered the room, looking around for the three of us. Suddenly, the thunder god was on his feet and he seized the first guard, hit him square in the face, and then pulled the pillowcase over his head. The man struggled with him for a few moments and Thor rammed his forehead against the guard's, head-butting him. The man grunted, his hands flying to his head, and Thor quickly wrapped the tie around his neck, pulling the tail through the knot that we had fashioned.

"Stark!" Thor shouted as the last guard came into the room, lifting a large bat over his head. Tony leapt to his feet quickly, signalling me to do as I had been told and I scrambled out from behind the bed, darting past the guard and towards the door as Tony confronted him.

"Hey, big and nasty," he called, "over here."

The guard wheeled around as Tony backed his way around the table quickly, his hands braced on its wooden legs. He pushed it upwards, the glass bowl of oil that had sat on top of it flying forward, smacking the guard in the chest before it slammed to the ground, shattering into tiny pieces.

The guard stopped for a moment, as if he were shocked by the attack, and then smirked at Tony.

"Yeah," Tony nodded, a sly grin tugging at the corners of his mouth "I know." He pulled the box of matches from his back pocket, waving them, "The lights in this place won't hold a candle to you."

The guard's eyes widened and Tony struck the match against the box, lighting the tip, he flung it at the man just as the guard dove for him and then darted out of the way as the man's shirt burst into flames.

"Time to go!" he shouted, grabbing Thor's arm. "Come on!"

I watched as they barrelled towards where I stood and then dropped to my knees, fishing in the pockets of the guard that laid on the floor of the corridor until I'd found the keys.

"Raleigh!" Tony shouted as he and Thor made it through the door of the room. "Raleigh, now would be good!"

"I know, I know!" I shouted back, pulling the keys away from the man. "I've got them!"

I sprinted forward, pulling the door shut as the flaming man made for the entrance, screaming, the fire consuming his body and spreading across the floor from the oil that had seeped into the cracks of the stone flooring. I quickly slid the key into the lock, bracing my foot against the wall as the man screamed and pounded on the heavy door.

"Raleigh!" Tony bellowed from down the hall. "COME ON!"

"I'm coming!" I shouted back as I tried to get the lock to slide into place. "I'm just trying to get this door to -"

"RALEIGH!" Tony crashed into me, pulling me down and to the ground as the burning man punched a hole through the door, reaching for me. I gasped in a breath, the stench of burning flesh filling my nostrils and choking me. I coughed, covering my mouth, and rolled over, gagging, as Tony held his breath and pushed the large, unconscious - dead? - guard in front of the doorway quickly, adding weight to the crumpled entrance that would lock the other two guards inside for a little while longer, if not indefinitely. He seized me by the arm, pulling me to my feet then he dragged me away from the door.

"The door is broken!" he scolded me as he turned to look at me, "You saw them break it down! What were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed! Goddamn it, Raleigh!"

"I..." I shook my head frantically, the screams of the burning man and the black smoke billowing out of the room confusing me, holding my attention. I looked over my shoulder again and then back at Tony, my voice trembling, "I don't know!"

"Jesus Christ, Raleigh," Tony took a deep breath, then pushed me forward, "let's go. Come on. We're losing time."

I turned, sprinting to Thor as I clutched the keys tight in my hand. I gasped in a breath as I approached him, the stench of burning flesh searing my nose still. I was almost certain that I was going to be sick...

"Which way?" Thor asked Tony, looking down at him.

"You're asking a lot of me, pal," Tony said darkly, he glanced around the hall. "We've got maybe ten minutes at most to make it above ground and out of those doors before someone realises there's something going on. We've gotta do this fast."

Thor nodded, "Yes, we do not need any further casualties."

I winced at the god's words, listening as the sound of screaming continued down the hall. I'd just helped to kill two men. I'd helped to set them on fire. I had helped to lay the wires that could have killed a third. What had I done?

"Raleigh," Tony's voice was sharp, "you okay?"

I nodded quickly, realising that I had stopped listening to them as I thought of the way the man's eyes had stopped glowing blue, instead becoming a light grey as he advanced upon the door, screaming in agony...

"Yeah, great," I said thickly, before adding hurriedly, "That was a real stroke of genius on your part back there. I'm sorry I didn't believe you earlier. And...thanks."

Tony frowned at me, but didn't press the issue. Instead, he spared a glance down the hall in the opposite direction and then nodded, "Let's go."

I followed them as they began their trek through the halls, winding my way around twists and turns, my stomach still threatening to spill what little contents remained inside of it at any given moment. I felt sick, I felt guilty, and yet I felt a surge of adrenaline. It coursed through my veins, pushing me onwards, further down the halls after Tony and Thor who seemed more than confident with themselves. It didn't matter that we knew nothing about this place, nothing about where the rickety stairs we climbed led, nothing about where the doors brought us to, no matter how familiar. We were almost free. It was just a run through the wild after this and as soon as we found civilisation, we were safe.

I had just followed them through another hall when I heard it.

The noise was unmistakable.

It was the sound of footsteps behind us.

I gripped Tony's arm tightly as he and Thor quickened their pace, heading for a door that was just up ahead.

"Come on, Thor," Tony said, passing him the keys again as the god made it to the exit. "Get it in there. This isn't going to be good. I can't tell how many there are and I don't exactly have any tricks up my sleeve for this one."

"I cannot open it," Thor replied, frustrated. "The key won't fit."

"Let me try," I said, grabbing the keyring from him. I quickly changed keys, trying another, then the next, and finally another, each one failing before I stepped back. "I can't get it either. I don't know what the problem is. Can we just kick it down?"

"That wouldn't be advisable."

I could feel my whole body tense and beside me, Tony and Thor did the same. I turned slowly, staring at Loki. He stood a few feet away, his hands clasped behind his back, his face serious.

Thor was seething, "Brother, stop with these tricks."

Loki rolled his eyes, "It's hardly a trick that you can't fit a key into a door, Thor. You never were particularly bright."

Thor started forward and Tony quickly grabbed me by the arm, pulling me behind himself. I watched as Loki faced off against his brother, sneering at the thunder god. Thor pulled his fist back, preparing to strike Loki when the raven haired god held up a hand.

"That, also, is not advisable," he murmured.

"I warned you," Thor snarled, "you have betrayed me. I will kill you myself long before any of the humans have had their chance."

I gripped Tony's shirt, ducking behind him as I waited for it to be over. I didn't want to see this. Not now. I didn't want to see what happened next.

I heard someone crumple and Tony placed a hand on my hip as he whispered, "Raleigh, you should run." I peeked out from behind him to see that Thor was lying on the ground, unconscious, while Loki remained in his place, perfectly unharmed.

"Don't be brash, Stark," Loki said as Tony moved forward.

"I get that a lot," Tony said, pushing up his sleeves. "But I've been wanting to do this for a while now."

I could see him reach for his pocket as he approached Loki and I remembered, with a swell of pride, that he had brought a knife. Without a second thought, I bolted, darting past Tony and Loki, who made to grab for me, and careened down the hall as fast as my feet would carry me. I whipped around a corner, racing down the hall and behind me I could hear Loki give a shout, possibly in pain. God, I hoped it was pain.

I hurtled around another corner, a stitch in my side forming as I went, and sprinted up the long hallway, making my way towards the archway. Could this be it? Could this be freedom?

Suddenly, I crashed into a hard body and toppled backwards, slamming into the ground with a gasp. I blinked several times, shaking my head, and stared up at Loki as he loomed above me. I felt sick again.

Tony had cut his cheek and it leaked a slow trickle of blood down the side of his face and over his jaw, dripping onto the front of his tunic. I pushed myself to my feet, backing away from him slowly.

Shit.

What now?

"Raleigh, don't," he said, his voice stern.

"Don't tell me what to do," I challenged, "this is your fault."

He sighed, taking a step forward and before I could think, I'd thrown a right hook at him, catching him across the cheek. He stopped, blinking, and touched at the side of his face where I'd struck him. I brought my fists back up, adopting the stance he'd taught me months before. This was easily the stupidest thing I'd ever done, but if this was it, I was better off going this way.

"You dare to hit me?" he sneered at me. "To attempt to fight me? Raleigh, do not be stupid. Now is not the time for your foolhardiness."

"Shut up," I said lowly. "I'm not being a fool."

He moved quickly, knocking me to the ground in a single blow and before I had even recovered, he was lifting me into the air, his hands tight on the front of my shirt. He pushed me up against the wall, his eyes glinting, "Don't struggle," he hissed at me when I began to squirm in his grasp. "Do not fight me, Raleigh."

I spit at him.

Fury flashed across his features for the first time and yet, to my surprise, he took a deep breath, continuing to hold me. "Do not test my mettle, Raleigh, you do not understand what I am doing for you or the danger that you are in. Do not act so foolish. I am helping you."

"You killed all those people," I whispered furiously, "we all saw it. It was all over the news. How could you do that? How could you just let them die? They have families and they're good and hard working and -"

"And do you know this for a fact?" he snarled at me, pressing me harder up against the wall. "Do you know for certain that they were good and just people?"

"N-no, but that doesn't -"

"Then they could have been just like me," he cut me off, "they could have been thieves and murderers and you would not know. Do not defend them blindly just because they are your species."

"They were innocent!" I said, my voice going up an octave. _"Species_ has nothing to do with it. Maybe you and your girlfriend could take a lesson or two from us filthy Midgardians. Isn't that why you were put here in the first place? To learn?"

"Raleigh -"

"No," I struggled again, "get off of me, you're just as bad as she is. I should have known it, but I didn't and I was stupid. But now I can see it, you're just as bad as she is and you don't care. It was all a farce."

"Enough!" he thundered, shocking me into silence. He lowered his voice so that only I could hear him once again, "Do not compare me to Amora. You do not know what she is capable of or what she intends to do. Do not even begin to assume that you might understand her motivations. You know _nothing_."

"Because I'm some _stupid_ Midgardian, right?" I snarked.

"For the love of the Nine Realms, Raleigh," he seethed, "I am trying to save you!"

"Liar," I retorted hotly.

"Please," he lowered his voice, his eyes wide as he stared at me, "please, do not be foolish. Do not tempt fate. I am begging you, Raleigh. _Please_. What I've dealt with for you -"

"I don't care what you've dealt with," I snapped, cutting him off.

He ground his teeth together, opening his mouth to reply, when Amora spoke from somewhere down the hall, "I thought I might find you with the little Midgardian, Loki. It's rather funny that I keep happening upon you like this, is it not?"

He closed his eyes, a strange emotion passing over his face before he turned to look at her, "Yes, it is."

Amora stopped a few feet from us, staring at the cut on his cheek. She gestured to me, her eyes flashing dangerously, "Is this mortal responsible for such a wound?"

Loki tightened his hold on me and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought it was almost protective. He shook his head, "No."

"Which did?" she asked, coming forward again. She reached out, touching his face, and I watched as fresh skin blossomed from beneath her fingertips, his cheek healing under her touch. She continued to hold his gaze, her hand resting upon the side of his face, and Loki seemed to be debating on what to say. Finally, he brushed her hand away.

"Stark," he replied curtly. "But it was nothing, merely a flesh wound."

She pursed her lips, "They dared to raise a weapon against you?"

"It was nothing," he insisted. He pulled me away from the wall and around Amora, "Now, I really must be returning this little Midgardian to its proper place."

"Thor and Stark have already been collected and taken to a new cell. The old one has been destroyed," she said, her eyes focused upon me. Loki kept a tight hold on my arm as he nodded, then he pulled me away from Amora, guiding me back down the corridor.

"Let go," I attempted to tug my arm out of his grasp as we rounded a corner. Amora's eyes were burning into the back of my head and Loki pulled me closer to himself as he walked.

"If I allow you to walk freely, you will run, and she will be upon you in moments. Do you wish for that?" he asked me, his voice low.

I looked up at him, surprised to find that he was not mocking me, but looked - dare I say it - concerned. I came to a halt and he waited, glancing down the hall expectantly as he made sure no one else was around. I didn't know what to say suddenly. I felt strangely conflicted. It was as if all of the energy I'd had pent up inside of me had suddenly vanished, leaving me strangely empty. I hated him, yet I found myself longing to confide in him, to find solace in his arms as I had many times before.

It had been a game then, I reminded myself. It had been an expertly played gamed, he had faked his emotions perfectly, and I'd been a fool for it. He wanted Amora, it was obvious enough that I'd had the wool pulled over my eyes with that. It was humiliating, even. It only made matters worse that she seemed hellbent upon finding a way to harm me, which I didn't want.

"I don't," I told him at last, truthful. Then I pulled against him again for good measure, adding, "But I'm willing to take my chances. Get off."

* * *

He raked a hand through his hair as he laid in bed, then pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He let out a long sigh, opening his eyes to stare up at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep.

He had hardly touched his dinner when he had dined with Amora that evening, merely nodded along when she chattered away about punishing the mortals later that evening before he refused the invitation to accompany her. He had no desire to watch her torture Stark for something as petty as a simple cut. The man had been bold, but he'd been no match for Loki. It wasn't mercy that saved Stark from having his arm ripped off at the time, but the idea that Amora might catch Raleigh first if he dawdled about.

She'd been growing more and more aggravated by Raleigh's presence and the protection that had been placed upon the mortal girl by Loki and Thanos. Thanos, for his part, didn't seem to give a damn about anything unless it involved the destruction of a city. Loki hadn't seen him in days; as far as he knew, Thanos wasn't even in the area. He was probably out destroying another city on Midgard.

Loki had been there for the fall of several cities, mostly European metropolises in Russia and the southern region. London had been left, though he knew it was a target for when smaller cities had fallen, similar to New York, which was also still unscathed. Thanos, meanwhile, made a point of attending each now, mostly to gloat and to drive fear into the hearts of the masses. It only helped that the Avengers were practically helpless against Thanos and the chitauri with two members missing.

Amora was still being difficult, however. She'd taken glee in wreaking havoc upon cities across the globe and in killing mortals by the thousands, but he knew full well that there was truly only one mortal she had any desire to maim and kill. If Raleigh would have stopped being so damned stubborn for just a moment even, then he could have explained it to her, could have told her about what he'd done and how he was risking himself for her. Of course, she hadn't. It was Raleigh, after all, and she was prone to assumptions and her temper seemed worse than he could recall it ever having been before.

He slowly sat up, deciding he would go down to see what Amora had done to Stark or Thor for their actions. They'd been daft enough to believe that they would escape, it was absolutely pathetic. He would admit that their attempt had been clever, and Loki credited Stark for such cleverness as he knew it was not in Thor's nature, but he found it childish and imbecilic. They were better off remaining where they were. When Thanos learned of their actions and of the deaths of three guards...

Loki shook himself of the thought, slipping his feet back into his boots as he stood. He picked his cloak up from the floor, pulling it on over his tunic and trousers and then made his way out of his quarters. He stalked the halls in silence, ignoring any of the guards who passed him on their way to a different part of the old, decrepit house. It was large, which he'd found to be incredibly advantageous, but it was also disgustingly dirty. He loathed it and eagerly anticipated leaving it for something better.

Preferably without Amora in tow.

He walked slowly, winding his way down the stairs and towards the bottom levels of the building, where he and Amora had made no moves to repair the walls or ceilings with their magic and where the ruins became far more obvious. At least above ground it was mildly attractive. His chambers certainly were a sight better than anything else he'd seen in the house; he'd made a point to ensure it. If he'd had his way, Raleigh would've been kept in his quarters, not in the cold, damp cellar area, but it'd been more sensible to place her there for the time being, even if he was loathe to admit it. It was all strategy, after all.

He turned a corner, finding himself in the hall for their new cell. He grimaced as he thought of keeping Raleigh in a cell. It was twisted even by his standards. It had protected her from Amora, though. He couldn't forget that. As he continued along, the guards coming into sight, he could hear the sound of shouting. It sounded like Stark.

He sighed quietly, rolling his eyes. Amora had found pleasure in torturing Stark, it figured that she would want to do it again tonight, especially given all that had happened in the last several hours and that much of it was Stark's doing.

He came to a stop as a higher scream suddenly cut through the air, one that was far too high for either Thor or Stark... He hesitated for a moment, confident that his ears were simply playing tricks upon him, but then he heard it again, followed by Stark and Thor shouting angrily.

Loki moved quickly, closing the distance between himself and the door to the cell in seconds, the screams growing louder as he came nearer to the room. He shoved the guard out of the way, lifting a hand to unlock the door with his magic and then shouldered his way inside, ignoring the protests of the guard. He flicked his wrist, locking the guard's jaw, and then came to a halt at the sight before him.

Stark and Thor were each being held by two guards, and likely by magic as well, each one straining against the men who held them. His eyes gravitated towards where Amora knelt, her knees pressed to Raleigh's shoulders, pinning her into the ground as she brought down a blade on the girl's bare arm. Raleigh let out a shriek of pain as the red hot tip reached her skin, writhing beneath Amora as the she was held down. He could see blood leaking out from beneath the tip of the blade as the goddess twisted the knife slowly, her long blonde hair shielding their faces from his view.

"Did you think you'd be so clever as to get away with it?" Amora was hissing at her. "That you might escape us? There is no one here to save you, little Midgardian. Just us."

His world was spinning violently as he watched her pull the blade away from Raleigh, the tip dripping with her blood, and she extended the blade to the flames of the small fireplace, heating it again.

"Please," he heard Raleigh say, her voice choking on a sob. _"Please."_

"There is no going back now," Amora chided, a sneer in her voice as she turned towards the knife, inspecting it. "Loki cannot hear you and you are no longer under his protection. You and I, alone."

Stark was screaming incoherently, profanities lacing with words that Loki could not make out, and Thor let out another shout as Amora pulled the blade away from the fire, lowering it back to Raleigh's bare skin. He began to move forward, his eyes locked on the back of Amora's head. He was no longer thinking, he was just reacting.

_"Please!"_

* * *

_**A/N:**__ And down the dark little rabbit hole we go. With any luck I won't keep you guys in the dark for that long, but I'll be rather busy next week, so will be endeavouring to do a double update before this weekend as my OH has off and I'll be spending a majority of my time with him out and about while he's free._

_Thank you to anyone that fav'd or followed and also thanks to anyone who reviewed. :)_

* * *

**Reviews****:**

**Loki'sDreamer****:** Amora is a bit off kilter to say the least, so I'm not surprised she kind of freaks you out. My Beta and I were talking about her the other day and she said something similar.  
**KMD88****:** #1 fan girls for each other, I swear. :p Thank you - and hey, your email was legit this time. Unlike last time. haha.  
**CharmiaArkenstone****:** Sorry about that, I usually double check and make a conscious effort to spell names out properly! My bad. But thank you!  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** Someone had to do it, what Jim said definitely needed to be put out there, I reckon.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Seems like shit is always hitting the fan... But yeah, poor Ben. :\ If I ever feel for any of the characters, it's Ben. He's probably the most helpless out of all of them now.  
**Poodle Warriors****:** He just might join SHIELD, but I can't be revealing anything just yet. I think they definitely need to be fleshed out a bit, because both of them will be very key players in the sequel. Plus, that chapter allowed for a bit of a time lapse, which was nice.  
**TimeLady945****:** She's back and will be for the next several chapters. :) Thanks!


	42. A Daybreak Execution

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any Marvel characters or the rights to said characters. All OCs and plot are mine, however.

**A/N:**_ Bear with me and see this chapter through 'til the end. It's worth it, I promise. Some graphic material is contained between the jumps, if you are uncomfortable with that, please feel free to skip it._

* * *

**Chapter Forty-Two: A Daybreak Execution**

_"Get off of her!" _The snarl ripped out of Loki as he made two swift strides across the room, seizing Amora by the back of her hair just as she turned to face him, her eyes growing wide. He jerked her upwards and to her feet, his fingers tight in her blonde tresses as he pulled her away from Raleigh, his head dizzyingly heavy as the anger surged through him.

"Loki -"

He backhanded her, his knuckles connecting sharply with her cheek and she staggered, her eyes growing large in shock. Hissing angrily, he seized her by the throat, shoving her backwards until he had pinned the viper against the wall, her feet dangling off the ground.

Amora gasped in a breath as he began to squeeze his fingers around her neck, and he watched as the veins in her eyes grew dark, her eyes leaving his face, and he turned, leering at the guard who had released Stark. The man stopped in his tracks, no longer attempting to advance upon Loki from behind. The god tightened his hold on Amora, looking back at her.

"You dared to ask a guard to raise a hand against me?" he spat at her, his eyes narrowing. "Pathetic." He rounded on the guard, his voice controlled, "Get out. _Now_."

The man slowly began to back away, towards the door, and Loki looked to the three remaining guards, "I said to get out," he told them, his temper flaring again. "NOW."

The guards released Stark and Thor, making for the door quickly and Loki rounded on Amora, seizing her wrist as she attempted to lift the blade and then slammed it into the wall. She let out a cry of pain, dropping the knife to the floor, and he seized her by the hair again, his fingers knotting in the mass of blonde waves.

He turned, beginning to drag Amora from the room, the blood pounding in his ears. Stark began to step in front of him, holding up his hands, and Loki shoved him aside brusquely. "Get out of my way, Stark!" he barked.

He did not pay any mind to what the man said in reply, but merely hauled Amora from the room and pulled the door shut behind himself, latching it with magic. He continued to drag Amora behind himself, her pleas to stop and listen lost upon him. When he had escaped the sight of the guards, he flung her forward, releasing her and watched as she staggered before she spun on her heel, facing him.

He threw up a hand, immediately casting a spell to shield himself from her wrath as she hurled several enchantments at him, her face red with fury. Making a swift cutting motion, with a brandish not unlike the downward slash of a sword, he sent the magic back at her, watching as she narrowly cast her own shield spell, blocking herself. He maintained steady, waiting for her to throw another hex his way.

"What were you doing?" he bellowed as she attempted to cast another spell. He jerked his wrist upwards, stunting the incantation on her lips. "I warned you. I made it explicitly clear to you!"

"And you swore an allegiance to Thanos and I to kill the mortals!" she shrieked in reply. "You have failed! You want to take one as a pet ‑ one you swore to me would be taken care of. I am finishing what you have started!"

"SHE IS MY WARD!" Loki parried off another hex, sending another hurtling back at Amora, "She is under my protection and she will remain so!"

"It organised their escape plot!" Amora hissed as his spell caught her in the chest, sending her back against the nearest wall. She struggled for a moment and then smirked at Loki when he stopped, staring at her in confusion.

"She - what?"

"You heard me, Loki," she snarled, "your precious little Midgardian organised that plot. That voids your arrangement with Thanos. It helped to kill three of our guards. Therefore it is no longer your ward."

"That's impossible," he snapped back. "Stark -"

"The little Midgardian said that it was responsible for the plot, Loki!" Amora cut him off and he slowly lowered his hand, shock quelling the rage that had been burning within him. She smoothed her hair as she was lowered back to the ground, then advanced upon him, her voice mocking as she said, "Not Stark, but your precious, adorable, saintly, little Midgardian pet!"

He seized her by the throat again. "You would do well to hold your tongue."

She placed a hand upon his chest, pushing him away, "I need not hold my tongue. It is entirely obvious what has happened here and when Thanos hears of it, he will agree with me."

"Don't be ridiculous, she did not organise that plot!"

"And, pray, who did?" Amora hissed at him, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Prove to me that it is not responsible for what happened today!"

He faltered, unable to procure such evidence. He knew it had been Stark, but why on earth had Raleigh been so stupid? Why would she have taken the blame for it? Was this some sort of twisted act of gratitude to him? And if it was, what on earth was it for?

"She is my ward unless Thanos says otherwise," he growled, ignoring Amora's question. "Do not tempt my hand again."

She sneered at him, "He does not need to approve. He will be back by dawn and at that time, you might prove your allegiances."

Loki stared at her, flabbergasted. "My _allegiances?"_

"We have both seen it, Loki," Amora replied tartly, shoving him aside. He turned, watching as she paced forward, towards a guard that had suddenly appeared in the hallway, and pulled the whip that the man clutched in his hand away from him. She returned to Loki, pressing the leather whip into his hand. "You do not want for the Midgardian because you wish to keep it for pleasure alone - you want for it because it has _compromised_ your emotions. Did you think me naïve to your desires? That I might have believed what lies you spun for me? I know you and you have become sentimental for it. You long for that Midgardian. You are emotionally compromised and hardly fit to be ruling a realm!"

"I have not been compromised!" he spat, thrusting the whip back at her. "You might do well to remember who it is that you address with such a tone!"

"A Prince of Asgard," Amora sneered, "and what would your darling father make of you loving a mortal? He hardly approved of Thor and his Midgardian woman, but you? The forgotten son?"

Loki's hand slowly curled into a fist as she taunted him. "It is not what you think."

"Then prove your loyalty," she shoved the whip at him again. "Tomorrow, when the sun rises, you will retrieve it and you will discipline it yourself."

"I am not fit for such a task," Loki hissed at her, but he was unable to mask his horror at the prospect of the order. "Give it to one of your guards. They will do my bidding."

"Thanos and I might prefer to see you prove your allegiance to us."

"How do I need to prove my loyalty any further?" Loki demanded angrily. "I have brought you the Book, I have cast the spell to open the realms, and I have sat idly by while your chitauri and magic wreak havoc upon this world! I owe you no more!"

"And you alone are capable of both casting and halting the spell!" Amora snarled at him. "Should that filthy Midgardian suddenly prove far to _precious _for darling Loki to bear, he might be so stupid as to have heart and save the mortals! Prove your loyalty, show us where your true allegiance lies, my dear Prince Loki!"

She curtsied, sneering at him, and then thrust the whip back into his hand. She stood on tip toe, her lips tickling his ear as she spoke, "You have a day. Choose your side wisely."

* * *

_"Put her there," Loki pointed towards the centre of the hall, watching as the guards led Raleigh forward, away from Stark who was standing stock still, glaring at him as the other guards guided him away from Raleigh._

_He looked towards the centred alcove where Amora and Thanos waited and then got to his feet, slowly making his way down the steps only to come to a halt before her. She stared at him with a strange look, one he couldn't comprehend. It wasn't hatred, nor was it hopeful. It looked horribly disappointed, perhaps even hurt._

_Stupid girl. She couldn't have possibly hoped he was going to be better, could she?_

_"Kneel," his voice was quiet._

_Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head, "Loki -"_

_He cut her off, his voice sharper, a steel edge to it, _"Kneel."

_Why didn't she understand? If she knelt it was in her best interest. Disobeying him was hardly an option with Amora skulking about. What kind of fool was she?_

_"I'm not going to kneel," she whispered furiously, her eyes locked on his own. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Loki?"_

_"A Midgardian should refrain from addressing a Prince of Asgard with such disrespect." Amora had appeared at his side now, her smile wide as she stared down at Raleigh who only seemed to bristle at the sight of the woman._

_"Calling him by his name isn't disrespectful," Raleigh had barely finished speaking when the palm of Amora's hand connected with her cheek, a loud slap echoing through the hall and Raleigh's head whipped to the side, her eyes flinching shut in pain._

_Guilt burned inside of him: this was his fault._

_"Impertinence?" Amora scoffed and shoved past Loki now, stepping closer to Raleigh than even he might have dared. "Such a foolish, pathetic creature you are. Do you think yourself our equal?"_

_Please, he begged her silently. Now wasn't the time to be brave, now was the time to kneel and take the punishment as swiftly as possible._

_She stared at Amora for a few moments, then said simply, "On the contrary, I'm inclined to think I'm better than a bunch of narcissistic megalomaniacs."_

Damn it, you foolish girl.

_Amora moved quickly, her hand fastening around Raleigh throat, her fingernails digging into the pale flesh as she pulled the young woman closer. Loki forced himself to remain steady, to keep his eyes focused despite the fact that his heart was somewhere near his throat and his stomach knotted._

_"Hey!" Stark called from where the guards had dragged him off to, "Wicked Witch of the East, let her go! If you're still pissed that I cut hit his face then take it up with me."_

_Amora looked at Stark for a moment with a nasty sneer and then returned to Raleigh, "I've heard tell that you're quite the little trollop. Is that true?" she asked. "Were you eager to please a god?" She looked back towards Loki and then to Raleigh, "Were you able to offer him any satisfaction?"_

_Raleigh didn't respond now, merely kept her eyes locked on Amora's, defiant._

_"Amora," Loki's voice came out much smoother than he had expected, not even the slightest trace of a quiver was evident, "let the Midgardian be. The mortal is harmless at best."_

_Amora turned to look at him, her green eyes flashing for a moment, and then she released Raleigh, stepping back from the girl. She looked up at the guard, "Let it go."_

_The guard released Raleigh's arm and Amora gestured for the whip that he held with an upward flick of flick of her fingers. "Give me that," she said, and when he had, she continued, "let us be." The guard slowly left the girl's side, joining the others who were stationed with Stark at the side of the hall. _

_Amora looked up at Loki with an almost innocent glee, pressing the whip into his palm, "Prove your loyalty."_

_She pressed the whip into his hand and Loki could practically feel the air change as both Raleigh and Tony seemed to understand what was happening. Before he could argue with the goddess once more, she had moved for Raleigh and grabbed a fistful of her hair, wrenching her head backwards. Raleigh let out a yelp and Amora grasped at the cloth of her shirt, tearing it away easily._

_Loki cast his eyes downward as Amora released the girl, unwilling to look at Raleigh for the first time as she stood there, quaking with fear while Amora loomed over her. He shot a quick glance in the direction of Stark, expecting to find that the man had taken the opportunity to see Raleigh without a shirt readily but instead found that he, too, had cast his gaze downwards and refused to look upon her._

_"Flog her," Amora hissed at him, pushing the whip at him again. "You are loyal to us, aren't you? It hasn't made you sentimental, has it?"_

_Loki shook his head, "Of course it hasn't."_

_He glanced at Raleigh and then tightened his grip on the leather handle. He didn't want to do this, this wasn't what he ever wanted to do - this was unforgivable of him. He'd always had half a mind to toy with the thought of punishing Raleigh for her impertinence with Asgardian methods - what she called _medieval_ - but he had never seriously considered it, never truly thought of carrying out the idea._

_"Very well then, Your Highness, she's yours to do as you please," Amora turned, and with an air of grace so uncharacteristic of her previous demeanour, glided back towards her seat beside Thanos at the end of the hall._

_Doing everything in his power to remain composed, he turned to face Raleigh and walked around her. He stepped closer to her, saying quietly, "Kneel."_

_To his chagrin she remained still. "I'm not going to kneel," she muttered._

_Damn her._

_He glanced up at Amora and Thanos who were watching interestedly, their eyes fixed on the pair and he quickly set his jaw. Loki squared his shoulders, hardened his features once more, and stepped back._

_"Are you kidding me?" Tony shouted as Loki raised the whip. He could hear the sound of the man struggling with the guards. "Get off - are you fucking kidding me?!"_

_The crack was sharp and Raleigh staggered, a cry breaking forth from her lips as the leather made contact with her bare skin. He froze, guilt immediately flooding him as he stared at Raleigh as she huddled before him, her back exposed to him._

_Amora's eyes continued to bore a hole into him and he raised the whip once more, bringing it down against Raleigh's smooth flesh again. His stomach knotted as he stared at the red welt that the whip left in its wake and raised the whip a third time._

_He forced himself to stare at Amora instead, rather than to look at Raleigh's back any longer, to hear her cries of pain. Looking upon her arched back would only make him think of how good her skin had felt beneath his hands, how smooth and soft the fair flesh felt when he had touched her and held her close to himself._

_He gave a particularly rough crack of the whip and watched as Raleigh crumpled to the ground, barking in pain, her breathing heavy and laboured as she trembled. She was crying._

_The elation that he felt at the realisation was wrong, yet he relished it. He had forgotten what this sort of power felt like, how it could seep into his bones, drive him on, and numb every other feeling that coursed through him. The power was enough to keep him going, his strikes becoming more rhythmic, stronger. _

_How he had missed domineering her this way._

_He struck her again, an odd tingle of satisfaction racing through him as she cried out, then once more, the noises she made becoming incoherent and merely background noise. He looked up again to see that Amora was watching him closely, her look bordering upon satisfaction and so he returned, the strikes increasing in speed as the Midgardian that knelt before him cried out and begged for him to stop._

_"Stop!" she cried, yelping as the leather made contact with her bare skin again. "Stop, Loki, _please!"

_Why didn't any of the Midgardians understand? This was done for them, for their benefit, so that they might be able to keep on living. Perhaps they thought it monstrous of him? If that was the case then surely they did not realise just how merciful he was being with them, how he was protecting them from a fate far worse than what any a simple flog might leave._

_He looked up to see Stark's face now and found, with glee, that the man was watching in horror as the lashing persisted. _

_Good. How Loki hoped that Stark felt the guilt for this, knew that this was all his doing. If Stark hadn't been bold, hadn't tried to be the hero then none of this would be happening. Stark had forced Loki's hand. Stark was responsible for Raleigh's pain. Not Loki. Stark._

_Raleigh let out a particularly loud wail and Loki returned his attention to carrying out the punishment as Amora had intended, lashing the girl as she struggled to remain on all fours._

_He could remember the last time she'd been like this before him, how utterly wonderful it had been to break her in such an intimate manner. And now, here he was again, standing over her and breaking her steadily._

_To feel this power, to suddenly have them know his true nature, to know that he truly did lord above them was indescribable. How he relished it, the feeling it gave him, and he brought down the whip against Raleigh's back again and again, the noises no longer phasing him as the power surged through him and he lost himself in the moment. He was drunk on it, drunk on the sudden power that he had found once again._

_They'd taken it from him._

She'd_ taken it from him._

_And now he was taking it back, usurping what was rightfully his, putting her back into Raleigh rightful place upon her knees. She was made to serve him, to bow to him, and impertinence would be met with such a swift punishment as this, if only to remind her of where she lie, of who truly held the power between the two of them._

_The blood that glinted on her back, the cuts that stained her bare flesh, all of it was enough to turn his stomach, but he was enraptured with it. He continued to bring the leather down against her skin, watching as the blood spattered across her fair skin and onto the back of his hand, enjoying how she shrieked and begged for him to stop the torture, to put an end to her misery._

_Did she truly think she had a right to make such a demand? To demand that he, an Asgardian Prince, might stop at her behest? _

_He lashed her again, watching as her arms quaked, weakening, and felt his lips curve at the sight. He was so close to breaking her, to ending her impertinence once and for all -_

"Tony!"

_He brought the whip down a final time and then stopped, letting his arm hang lamely by his side. The word had jolted him back to reality and he stepped away slowly, loosening his grasp on the leather whip only to find that it had grown slick in his hand from the sweat of his palm and her blood._

_There was a noise to the side of the room and Loki glanced up quickly, noting that Stark was struggling against the guards._

_"Release him," his voice sounded strange, disembodied even. It wasn't a voice he could recognise, but the guards released Stark anyway and the Midgardian man rushed forward, his footfalls echoing off the hall's ceiling as he made his way to Raleigh._

_He dropped to his knees beside her, his hands gently grasping her elbows. He pulled her upwards as Loki watched, his face a mask, and then turned to look at the God of Mischief. His eyes burned into Loki's as they held the gaze of one another. Stark's look was fierce yet Loki remained still, watching as Raleigh held tight to him, crying._

_He understood at last._

_He stepped back and bowed his head, extending the whip and waited for one of the guards to come forward to take it as he watched Raleigh embrace Stark. The lacerations he had made in her back with the lashes were suddenly gruesome, monstrous, and he found himself approving of Stark's hatred for him. Stark, for whatever reason, could comfort her while Loki was consistently the source of her pain. He had put her into this position all those months ago, been the catalyst that damned her to this fate, resigned her to being tortured and destined her to be ruined and killed by Amora._

_What kind of creature was he?_

_He'd thought he might have hated himself before, but this was an entirely foreign feeling. This new wave of self-loathing was not one he could describe, but it was one that he despised. No, he despised himself, not the fact that he hated himself. He was right to hate himself._

_What kind of fool was he to defend this act? _

_Only a fool would defend tearing away the bare flesh of Raleigh's back with a leather whip as being done for _love_. What he had done wasn't done out of love, it was done because he was a savage. He was a savage and so entirely desperate to prove himself that he had sacrificed the one creature - no, the one _woman_ - who had at least made him civilised, who had accepted him despite his savagery._

_"Return them to their chambers," Loki muttered to the guard who approached, taking the whip. "Do not disturb them again save for when they are fed."_

_Before the guard had replied, Loki turned, steeling himself, and strode past Raleigh and Stark where they sat upon the ground, heading towards Amora and Thanos. He didn't want to see her face, if he saw her face then surely that would destroy him. Was that what Amora had wanted? Had she wanted to break him like this?_

_He'd broken Raleigh and Amora had broken him._

_Amora had made him into a monster once again and there was nothing that he could do to change it. There was no reason for him to think that Raleigh might ever forgive him for this, that he might ever be able to call her his own once more. _

_Amora offered an approving nod as he neared their seats and he smiled at her. He couldn't deny this from the Enchantress. She didn't need to know that on the inside he felt as thought he, too, had been given dozens of lashes and was just as broken beneath the surface of it all. _

_"Midgardians break so easily," she chuckled, extending her hand to him._

_Loki gave her a devilish smile, leaning down to kiss the back of the Enchantress's hand. His stomach turned over as he saw speckles of Raleigh's blood on his own skin but he continued on anyway, pressing his lips to the goddess's smooth flesh._

_"Lesser creatures always do."_

* * *

His eyes snapped open in the dark of his room and he sat up quickly, wiping a cold sweat from his brow as he dragged in deep breaths.

"No," he shook his head, burying his face in his hands as his shoulders trembled. "No, no, no." He clamped his eyes shut, trying to forget the nightmare that he had just seen painted behind the lids of his eyes, playing out the cruel scene in his mind that was sure to come with the morning light.

He slowly sank bank down into bed, rattling in stray breaths, and opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling.

"Fuck," he muttered, resting a hand upon his chest. He didn't want to remember it. He didn't want to remember the dream, yet alone that the nightmare was an impending reality. In just a few hours, daybreak would come and he would be forced to raise his hand against the only mortal in the world that truly mattered to him.

Loki rolled over, his mind racing, and tried to block out the thoughts. He was grateful that Amora had left him alone for the day, her fury overriding any other desires she might have had. She hadn't come to his rooms looking for his affections, instead she simply left him in the corridor, dumbstruck and clutching the whip in his hand.

His stomach turned over at the thought of the whip, which lay on a chair in the corner of his room. The idea of raising that into the air and bringing it down upon Raleigh's back….

His stomach lurched violently and he threw the blankets from his body, reaching for his bin as he was certain he was about to be sick at the thought. He closed his eyes again, breathing deeply, and waited for the feeling to pass as he held his face above the bin.

He couldn't do this.

He couldn't allow this to happen.

It was Raleigh. It wasn't Stark, it wasn't his idiot brother, it wasn't some hapless mortal that had crossed him that he would be torturing that morning. It was _Raleigh._ The stupid, stubborn mortal girl that he'd foolishly fallen in love with.

He set the bin down, rolling onto his back, and stared up at the ceiling again. His mind raced as he thought of how he could possibly talk his way out of the torturing. He'd already tried with Amora, but perhaps Thanos would be more accommodating...

It was doubtful. He was certain that Amora had scuttled off to tell the Master just what he had done when he'd found her atop of Raleigh, sliding a knife across her arm and towards the delicate skin of her throat. She had likely told him about how Loki had seized her by the back of her head, his hand tight in her hair as he hauled her off of Raleigh, hissing at her in Asgardian, threatening her, and how he had seized the knife from her hand upon flinging her across the room.

It called him into question. No longer would Raleigh appear to be a pet, as they called her, instead his relationship with her would be very questionable. Thanos would just as easily argue that Stark could be his pet, though the idea of finding Stark anything but disgusting and tiresome was laughable. He was more likely to kill Stark in a day than he was to kill Raleigh in the rest of her life. She was a far cry easier to deal with and certainly nicer to look at than Stark.

He had no options left. This was the end of the line for him.

Unless...

He sat up slowly, his mind darting to the last possible resort. He hadn't ever thought it might come to this, but never had he expected for any of this to happen. His plans, as great as they were, no longer mattered. They were no longer viable.

It left only one option.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Yes. It was a dream. No. It did not actually happen. Let's all take a breath before we decide to hate Loki and that he is damned for all of eternity. It was just a dream, I promise._

_Anyhow, this is my double posting and I'm about halfway through 43, which will be posted later next week or early the week after. Depends on how busy I am between now and the following Monday. Terribly sorry I couldn't get this up a little bit earlier, but I wanted to revise it and tweak a few things before uploading it to ._

_A very big thank you to everyone who was kind enough to review and also a big thank you to anyone who followed or favoured the story, it's very much appreciated. So thank you kindly a million times over._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Ellize Avalon****:** I don't think it's as much his failure to plan right as he isn't accounting for all the variables (chiefly, Raleigh and Amora being thinking, feeling beings and not just pawns on a chess board he can strategise over). All in good time, Grasshopper. Raleigh will have her day in good time. And I just won't be updating next week since my boyfriend is off work and we'll be spending the better part of my time with him. And don't be silly, it's perfectly fine. Thank you, though, for your reviews. :)  
**CharmiaArkenstone****:** Yep. I was thinking of that as I read it over, but any other torture I could come up was either too repetitive, too extreme, or not cruel enough. So went with the knife even though it was done in HP. Thank you! :)  
**kearabee****:** Oh hello! I figured you were busy as you mentioned rehearsals in a previous review and I figure it's May so you're likely busy with school things, too. :) Well, there's definitely trouble all around, but with Loki finally stepping up maybe the winds are about to change? We'll see.  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** Hopefully I didn't disappoint?!  
**KMD88****:** It really is. Well, I'm afraid that he plans on reading this again when I have it all finished (in like 10 chapters, max.?), so he's not exactly nagging me as you would like to think he would be. He sends his regrets. :p Nah, I didn't change my mind (as you now know, I think we texted about it?). The scene in this chapter is actually the one that I discussed with you and was hesitant to use as I originally intended when I wrote it all those months ago. Thank you. :)  
**No Vacancy Mind****:** I honestly feel a little bad for not killing her in this chapter with how much people hate her, but I need her for just a little while longer before I can have her taken care of by Loki. And thank you! :)  
**Loki'sDreamer****:** Rock and a hard place, I'm afraid. :\  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** Indeed it did - and I'm hoping that this bit of violence will suffice for the time being. Lord knows more is sure to come in the next several chapters as the climax really gets underway and is resolved.  
**Ella Davis****:** Thank you so much! That's really lovely of you to say (write)!  
**Time Lady 945****:** Haha, but I did. And hopefully I've satisfied readers with a bit of violence against Amora for the time being. This certainly isn't the end by any means.  
**DMMD****:** I seem to be quite good at that! :p  
**amakitkat****:** I'll try to update in a relatively decent fashion again soon, but no promises.  
**Poodle Warriors****:** Haha, I don't think that you're the only person who has violent thoughts against Amora, personally. :p  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Thanks! :D I'll take that as a very good "Holy Shit" then.  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Don't be sorry! I think there's a very large group of readers who would agree with you when it comes to her, honestly.


	43. Allegiances Are Broken

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any Marvel characters. Just the plot and OCs. You know, the usual spiel.

* * *

**Chapter Forty-Three: Allegiances Are Broken**

Loki approached the room slowly, his eyes wandering over the guards, and he frowned at them. He waved his hand at them, motioning that they might part from the doors. He reached out and allowed a small spark of magic to leave his fingertips, unlocking the door.

"Leave us be," he said to them, "I wish to speak to them alone."

"Prince Loki -"

"I have ordered you to leave us," Loki hissed, cutting the man off. "Do you dare to defy me?"

The man bowed his head, looking as though he had been slapped, "No, of course not. My apologies, Prince Loki." He and the other guard walked to the end of the hall together, disappearing into the darkened corridor together to adopt a new station.

Loki returned to the door, pushing it open slightly, and stepped inside, bracing himself for some form of violence.

"What the hell do you want?" Stark.

Loki pushed the door shut behind himself, glancing the man over as he wrinkled his nose, "Good evening to you as well, Stark."

Stark sneered at Loki from where he sat on the ground, "Forgive me for not being up to date on how to speak to royalty. I've been locked up in a cell for the last few months."

Loki ignored him, instead looking to Thor who was watching him with narrowed eyes, and then turned away, searching the room for Raleigh curiously. Where was she? He began to panic when he couldn't find her and turned on his heel, wondering if Amora had the foresight to take Raleigh from the cell. As he rounded, however, he found her standing behind him, her brow furrowed and her hands on her hips as she observed him.

He immediately bowed his head, "Raleigh," he murmured.

"What are you doing?" she asked him. "What do you want?"

"Raleigh, you should sit down," Stark piped up from behind them. "You're hurt."

"I'm not standing on my arm, Tony," Raleigh retorted irritably. She returned her attention to Loki, lifting her eyebrows at him expectantly. "Well?"

"I...I have a proposition."

Raleigh snorted, "No thanks. Your deals don't exactly turn out really great for anyone involved." She turned, walking away from him and sat beside Thor on the cot. She made a shooing motion with her hands, "You can go now."

He bit back a snarky remark and instead took a step forward, earning a dirty look from both Stark and Thor.

"You might wish to hear my side of the bargain," he said lowly. "It can only benefit you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Raleigh replied coolly. She got to her feet, leaving Thor's side and walked forward until she was standing just a few feet away from him. "Well, come on, let's hear it."

"I can get you out," he said, his eyes flicking between the three. "I can save you from this."

Thor spoke suddenly, "Why this sudden change in heart, brother?"

"My motivations are mine," Loki replied, glancing at the god of thunder. He looked back at Raleigh, continuing, "I mean you no harm, I only wish to protect you."

"And what about Amora?" Raleigh asked, "I'm sure she's very eager to let you break us all out."

Loki ground his teeth together, "I can handle Amora with ease, Raleigh." He looked down at Stark who was watching him with narrowed eyes, "Yes, Stark?"

"Seems a bit fishy that you'd suddenly be our best friend, that's all, Loki old pal."

"Tony," Raleigh began, her tone taking on a defensive note.

"No, Raleigh," Thor held up a hand. "His motivations are his, this is true, but after all that has transpired, we have a right to know why we are suddenly being offered the opportunity to go free and if it is a true opportunity."

Loki hesitated, then spared a glance at Thor and Stark before he returned to Raleigh, speaking directly to her: "They want you to be tortured."

Raleigh blinked, then shook her head slightly. "Wait. I'm sorry, but what exactly was earlier today when you swooped in if they want me to be tortured? Was that tea and crumpets with Amora or something? Because I think I missed the memo. I mean, digging a knife into somebody's arm _does_ qualify as torture in some places, you know."

"Why?" Tony said as Loki opened his mouth to fire an insult back at Raleigh.

"Because they wish to test my loyalty," Loki answered, his eyes still on Raleigh. "They believe my emotions are compromising my allegiances."

"And are they?" Thor asked, standing slowly.

Loki continued to stare at her, meeting her gaze with his own. He nodded once, slowly, as he answered the man, "Yes."

"This isn't some kind of joke?" Stark asked as he got to his feet as well. "Deep Purple and the Wicked Witch want Raleigh to be tortured?"

"Yes," he said through gritted teeth. "It isn't rocket science, Stark. This ought to be infinitely easier to grasp for someone of your intellect."

"Was that a compliment from _you?"_ Stark asked, his voice just slightly mocking.

"Tony!" Raleigh glanced over her shoulder at the man and then looked back at Loki, folding her arms across her chest. "So you'll get us out of here? What about you?"

"Raleigh, now you're being silly. Take his kindness and run."

She ignored Stark, staring at Loki curiously.

He shrugged in reply, "I intend to flee as well. Go off the grid, if you will."

"Where will you take us?"

"Somewhere safe, very far from here."

"All of us?"

Loki nodded. "If you've finished, may I ask a question?"

She frowned, but then nodded, "I guess so."

"Why did you tell Amora that you were responsible for the escape plot that Stark concocted?" he asked her, no longer paying any mind to either Thor or Stark.

"Because Tony saved me from being attacked by the guy we lit on fire," Raleigh said, her voice clipped, clinical. "I figured I owed him one for helping me out when I was stupid."

Loki flicked his gaze towards Stark, who was grimacing at her words. He clearly hadn't agreed to Raleigh's idea and had been just as angry about it. He looked back at Raleigh, saying quite simply, "It seems that you had not stopped being stupid."

"You're an ass."

"Come up with something original, Raleigh, you bore me," he sniped, then he looked over at Stark and Thor. "Shall I return you to the Avengers?"

"Might be good of you," Tony said, nodding.

"Where do you plan on going?" Thor asked him curiously.

"Far away from trouble," Loki replied tersely. "And certainly nowhere near your Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D., for that matter."

"Raleigh?" Tony drew the young woman's attention away from Loki for the first time as he called her name and she turned to look at him, lifting her eyebrows. "Are you going to go with us?"

"I..." she hesitated and Loki found himself surprised. She didn't want to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D., not that he could blame her.

"I could return you to New York," he said quietly, "your father and brother are surely looking for you."

She shook her head at him, biting on her lower lip.

"Raleigh, S.H.I.E.L.D. won't find you if you ask your -"

"I can't," she cut him off, rubbing her face. She looked away from him, shaking her head. "I'm not worried about S.H.I.E.L.D., because I'm just as worse off as those two," here she gestured to Stark and Thor, then carried on, her voice choked, "I'm worried about Amora trying to find me, Loki. What if she found me in New York? What if she came after me there?"

He stared at her, uncertain of how to answer her question, how he might quell her fears.

"I would not allow for that to happen," he said at last.

She looked up at him, her eyes narrowing, "You're going off the grid, you aren't going to be able to protect me from anything."

He struggled for a moment, then ran a hand through his hair slowly. He looked over Raleigh's shoulder to where Stark and Thor were watching, saying carefully, "I could take you with me. If it would be permissible."

Stark shook his head, "Then we need to know where you're going."

"Somewhere cold," Loki said shortly, "densely populated, where I know there will be little trouble. I can return to New York and tell you as soon as I have Raleigh there."

Stark's eyes narrowed and Raleigh glanced between the two of them, then held up her hands, "Wait, hang on. I haven't even said yes to this. Don't start making deals like I'm not around."

Loki sighed heavily, turning away, and paced across the room to peer out of the small window. He could see the beginning of the dawn now. The dark sky had lightened to a deep purple and he was certain that it would not be long before Amora would rise and call for Raleigh to be brought to the main hall of the house. As soon as the sun hit the western facing side of the building, Amora would have the guards inside of the cell, taking possession of Raleigh. Time, as much as he loathed to admit it, was of the essence. Dawdling and debating as they were about his loyalties and past transgressions was only putting them into harm's way.

Thor spoke from behind him, "It may be in your best interest, Raleigh, assuming his intentions are true."

Loki ground his teeth together, his temper close to breaking, and turned to glare at Thor. "My intentions?" he hissed. He swiped his hand through the air, muttering in Asgardian harshly. He could feel the air in the room change and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end as Amora's spell fell away, enabling Thor's powers once again.

His magic crackled as it finished its business and he steadied himself on his feet by resting a hand upon the wall. He had forgotten just how powerful a spell such as that was; it had been many years since he had cast or removed one. He took a few deep breaths, regaining his strength, and then looked over his shoulder towards Thor. The god seemed stunned, staring at Loki with his mouth agape.

"Brother -"

"Are my intentions true now?" he demanded, practically spitting his words at the god of thunder.

Stark lifted his eyebrows, clearly surprised, "Did he just...?"

Thor smiled and slowly flexed a hand. He extended his arm, hand outstretched, waiting. Loki stood silently, his breathing laboured, and watched as the god called for Mjölnir. His ears pricked up as he heard the faint sound of the hammer whistling through the air. He turned on his heel, watching as the hammer crashed through the door and soared into Thor's outstretched hand.

He stepped forward to his brother as the guards began to run into the room after Mjölnir, shouting angrily. The made a move towards the two gods and Loki reached for his belt, where he still kept several throwing knives.

Thor held up a hand, smirking, and placed it upon Loki's chest. "Allow me, brother." Loki held up his hands, instead stepping back, closer to where Raleigh and Stark stood, and watched as the guards charged at the thunder god who raised his hammer into the air and then slammed it into the ground, throwing them backwards and off of their feet.

Someone was touching at his back and Loki turned his head only to find, to his surprise, that Raleigh was hovering near his side, her eyes wide and on the door. "More are going to come, right?" she asked him, her voice worried.

"I'm afraid so," Loki replied. "Mjölnir was in Amora's chambers."

Stark snorted, "I bet she's loving this."

"I want to go with you," Raleigh said, her hand now upon Loki's arm. "Just for now though, all right? Not for good. And it's not going to be like last time."

"Raleigh -" Stark began but she shot him a glare, silencing him and Loki spared a glance over his shoulder to see that the man had fallen silent, flustered.

"You have to tell them where we are."

"I shall."

"Good. I have one more condition," she said as Thor began to approach where they stood.

"And that is?" Loki arched an eyebrow at her, anticipating something petty and childish. She probably wanted to know everything, all of his motivations and secrets. Foolish child. She was always so demanding.

"You have to take me to London when they invade."

Loki balked at the request, "No. Absolutely not."

Raleigh shrugged, "Fine. Deal's off then. Let's all wait for Amora and see what happens."

He stared at her, watching as she began to walk away from him and towards the door where he could hear the faint sound of more guards approaching in the distance. He reached out, seizing her arm and tugged her backwards, "Fine!" he hissed. "Fine! We will go to London when it is invaded."

Her eyes narrowed, "Are you lying?"

"No!" he exclaimed, looking towards the door quickly. He wracked his mind for something that would better convince her, "We will go and - and I will fight. I swear to you."

"Oh?"

"Yes!"

Raleigh glanced back at the door, the sound of incoming guards much louder now, and considered his words before she returned to him. "Fine, we'll stay together then. I'll go with you."

Relief washed over him as she agreed and he nodded. He drew her in closer to himself, saying quietly, "Hold onto me and close your eyes, Raleigh."

She did, slowly wrapping her arms around his waist as she stepped closer, her body pressed against his own. He turned, but was pleased to find that Thor was already pushing Stark in and taking one of his arms while Stark took the other.

"Stop right there!" a guard shouted in the distance before he barrelled into the cell. Loki could feel Raleigh tense against him at the sound of the guard's voice and he smirked up at the man, feeling the slightest movement of Thor's body as the thunder god began to swing Mjölnir through the air beside him. The power that crackled through the room vibrated in his chest not unlike the war drums of Asgardian military parades; it reassured him, lent him confidence that he might not have had otherwise. Two powerful spells in a row would prove to be exhaustive to him in such a short time, but Thor's assistance helped matters greatly.

"I would really rather not," he replied simply as the guard started towards them menacingly.

Several other men had followed him into the room by now and joined in the predatory advance of their leader when Thor gripped the handle of the hammer, directing the electric bolts at the men. Several simultaneous bolts leapt from the head of Mjölnir, finding the chests of each guard and as they dropped, Loki turned to look at his brother, a smile pulling at his features.

"I was wondering when you planned to use that."

Before Thor could respond, however, Loki closed his eyes, willing his magic through his body, and in a flash they were gone, vanished from sight and headed far from the depths of their cell.

* * *

Steve's eyes opened slowly and he looked around his bedroom for a few moments, bleary eyed and exhausted. He dropped his head back on his pillow as he heard the distinct sound of banging somewhere in the apartment and rubbed the sleep from his eyes wearily.

What the hell was making that god forsaken noise at this hour?

_Thud. _

_Thud. _

_Thud._

He groaned, pulling a pillow over his face. He hated his neighbours.

Well, maybe not hate, after all it was a very strong word. But he certainly didn't appreciate their antics at - lifting the pillow off of his face, he grabbed for his alarm clock to read the time: 0334 - half past three in the morning. He sighed deeply, getting to his feet as he threw the blankets back from his body and crawled from bed, then made for his bedroom door.

_Thud._

_Thud._

"Kids these days," he muttered to himself as he flicked on a lamp in his apartment's living room. "No consideration for anybody." He headed for the door, surprised to find that it was not the wall, as it usually was, but _his_ apartment door that the two college students were having their little moment on.

He'd warned them. He'd been friendly enough about it, tried being nice and leaving notes, talking to them amicably, but _his_ door was the final straw. He was going to call their landlord in the morning.

"All right, you two, that's enough -" he said as he wrenched his door open. He stopped short, his eyes growing large at the sight before him.

"Don't act so excited, Stevie," a very haggard Tony Stark said as he pushed his way inside the apartment. Thor followed after, nodding to Steve who just stepped aside and then closed his door.

"Stark, Thor," he said numbly. "It's really you?"

"Indeed, Captain," Thor smiled at him and turned, surveying the small apartment curiously.

Tony stopped as he came to the kitchen and then turned, scratching at the overgrown beard that extended all the way down to his neck. He nodded. "Well, me and a little extra facial hair. You got a razor around here, Capsicle?"

"Where have you two been?" Steve demanded, ignoring the request.

"Somewhere up north," Tony said, heading towards the fridge again. "I think Loki said Norway, but I wasn't really listening."

"Loki?" Steve looked between the two, _"Loki_ said Norway? What's going on?"

"My brother freed us from our confinement," Thor explained, setting Mjölnir upon the coffee table in front of the sofa. He headed for the fridge as well, peering around Tony to inspect what food Steve had lying around.

_"Loki...freed_ you from your confinement?" Steve let out a long sigh, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. "I gotta call Fury."

"While you're at it, call for some Chinese, you don't have anything in here," Tony said as he straightened with a bottle of beer in one hand. He pulled another from the door and passed it to Thor, then returned to Steve, who was watching them with narrowed eyes, "Don't give me that look."

"You two can't just traipse in here like nothing happened! We've been looking everywhere for you guys! What the hell happened? You've had everyone worried sick - Pepper, Jane, Rhodes, Selvig, everybody!"

"Whoa, whoa," Tony held up his hands, "relax, Steve. We're getting to it."

Steve huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "What about the girl?"

"Raleigh?" Tony and Thor exchanged looks, "Well, we're gonna find out for sure in a little while."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Steve demanded, beginning to grow angry. He knew this definitely wasn't a dream, Stark could only get him this angry in person. That much was reassuring even if the sparse details that they had supplied were making him wonder just what had happened and if he was still on the right planet. Since when did _Loki_ do anything for any of them? He'd seen the guy on television with the other two, wrecking just as much havoc and killing innocent people. Hell, he'd fought the guy. He knew what Loki was like.

"It means I kept Raleigh with myself," a cool voice replied from behind Steve.

Steve whirled around, reaching for a paperweight on the coffee table as he caught sight of Loki standing near the window of his apartment.

Where had he come from?

His hair and clothes were damp, yet Steve could see no sign of rain outside the window and the weather channel had said there wasn't going to be any rain until the weekend.

"Tony!" he barked over his shoulder. "Thor!"

"Relax, Steve," Tony said, his voice quiet, "Loki isn't going to do anything. Right, pal?"

The raven haired god smirked, then said, "I make no promises, Stark. If your Captain lobs that little rock at my head, I might be forced to put him through the wall."

"Steve, put the paperweight down."

"You can't just take his side!" Steve hissed, rounding on Tony.

"I'm not, but you've got to hear the story out. Don't decide to kill him until you get the whole story."

"Captain Rogers," Thor said, coming forward, "my brother is not an honourable man, it is true -" here, Steve could see Loki roll his eyes towards the ceiling as he took a step forward, his hands clasped behind his back, and he sighed as he headed towards the bookshelf, "- but what Stark says is true as well. Loki freed us from our confinement and has taken Raleigh with him for her continued protection. He will not harm us on this night."

"Hey!" Steve said as Loki leaned down to inspect a photo of Peggy, "Get away from that!"

The god turned to look at him and sneered, "I'm merely looking, Captain. I mean no harm."

Steve felt as if his blood was boiling, "Where did you take Miss Alexander?" he demanded.

"Raleigh?" Loki turned more fully now and arched an eyebrow at the three of them, then shrugged, "Washington."

"DC?" Steve prompted.

"No," Loki spat, "that would be foolish. The state."

"Where?"

"A small town near the mountains. It's wet, dark, and they cut down trees for a living. I did not pay attention to the name."

"Great," Tony muttered behind them. "Thanks for holding up your end of the bargain, Loki."

"Of course," the reply was short, curt, and Loki returned to Steve's bookshelf, reading the spines of his books curiously.

"Someone needs to tell me what's going on or else I'm going to get Fury on the phone and have him down here to collect an intergalactic war criminal and terrorist," Steve said, holding his hands up. "What's the bargain? What's been going on? Where were you? And what the hell is Loki playing at?"

The raven haired god turned to look at him and smirked, "All you had to do was ask, Captain. Where do we begin?"

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Some of you guessed what would happen in this chapter, so good on you. I was a bit pleased to see some of you caught onto what was going to happen next. :)_

_This one was a little bit short, but I figured it would be worth posting this as it is since this pretty much sets up the final rising action. We've got about 9 chapters or so left, I think. Can't be entirely certain yet. I'll know soon though. That said, I'll have 44 up later this week, they were originally together and I split them, so yeah. You get another double post. Whoop._

_Thanks to everyone that reviewed, followed, or favoured the story (or me). That's very kind of you and I greatly appreciate it!_

* * *

**Reviews:**

**NoVacancyMind****:** Thank you! I'm glad you liked it as much as you did. I really wanted that scene in there, because I struggled with it (originally it wasn't meant to be a dream) solely because you really get a very good idea of what it's like inside Loki's head. You get to see so much of him in this chapter, it definitely shows a great deal more of him than most of his POVs do - the self loathing, the anger, the scorn, everything really. The complication of the character is what makes him so fascinating, I think.  
**KMD88****:** Haha, he was talking to me about it today on his lunch break. He's about halfway through some book, can't remember the name off the top of my head, that's like 5 novellas mashed up in one volume, and then he's off to read The Zen Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, but he's going to finish it either before or after the next one. Apparently it all depends on where I'm at, since this looks like it's going to be like 52 or 53 chapters by my rough estimate. But it was as close to nagging as he's gotten with me about it. Anyway, I'm glad you liked this past chapter so much and like I said in our texting, I greatly appreciate it. And also, thanks again for your help with it. It was greatly appreciated. :D  
**CharmiaArkenstone****:** Thank you very much! :D xx  
**Loki'sDreamer****:** Indeed! And he did do something, hopefully not too stupid on his part. :)  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Telling you that could be classified as a spoiler :p So I can't. I think there's going to be a definitely change in the next few chapters between Raleigh and Loki, especially now that he's gotten her out of there.  
**Time Lady 945****:** Pretty rotten one, if I do say so myself. It's a scene I wrote several months ago, probably last autumn, and I didn't want to part with it as I think it's a really strong piece for his character and his own personal inner workings. A lot of good commentary on Loki can be seen in that mid-section, I think. I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as you did. :)  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** Just a drop in the hat, there's a climax to be had yet.  
**kearabee****:** Well, I'm very sorry for any emotional turmoil I caused you, but I'm glad you realised it was a dream. :) I think your hope was right on target. He's at least done something for Raleigh's benefit finally.  
**Ellize Avalon****:** Nice guess! And he did finally wake up. :) This one was a bit short, but I'll have 44 up later this week, I reckon, so that should hopefully make up for that. They were originally together, but I thought it took bulky and too quickly paced. So 44 will make an appearance in the next few days (by the weekend at the latest). And I think most of us, myself included, wouldn't be able to forgive Loki for that. Just not possible.  
**Megsy0****:** Well done with your guess! Hope you enjoyed it!  
**BlooAngels****:** **(38)** I'm quite proud of how twisted it is. :) I think that he never accounted for emotions getting in the way of things, but rather viewed it all like a chess game. Thank you! **(39)** I'm terribly sorry but I have to respectfully disagree. I can say with confidence that I don't like Amora, that she's contemptible, mean, and downright evil at times, but I think that she's also a very strong female character, albeit a dark one, which you rarely ever get. She's very much Loki's equal, which is unheard of in most cases when it comes to superheroes or super-villains. They rarely have a woman who is on equal footing as them. Raleigh had gotten infinitely stronger, but she'll never be a match for Loki like Amora, which is why I actually do have a soft spot for the latter as a character. I think she adds a certain level of intrigue to the whole story because she can push Loki around and has the ability to back up anything she says. **(40)** At the expense of sounding rude, I also have to disagree that she's in need of being "put in her place." Amora is a character who was raised with Loki and was a lover of his for many, many years. I don't truly see them ever claiming superiority over one another, but rather in a constant power struggle, save for their titles. If you mean that, then yes. She would be violating her court manners by disrespecting a Prince of Asgard as she has been, but otherwise, it's nothing more than a lover's spat between them, I tend to think. **(42) **Truthfully, I don't think, knowing "my" Loki as I do, that he could ever harm Amora without serious provocation (i.e. if Raleigh were being harmed) because of the relationship that the two of them shared for so many years. They shared too much and were, at one point, too important to one another for him to ever harm her like that. What they shared wasn't the best of loves, but it was something. And I think that subconsciously, that matters and influences Loki. Agree to disagree on the whole subject of Amora, I'd say. Thank you for your reviews and I hope you've enjoyed the story! :)  
**amakitkat****:** Well, he helped them to escape, now it's a matter of him helping out in the final battle, I'd say. Nice guesswork. :p You had so many and there were some I hadn't even thought of, but were very clever. Oh no, I certainly didn't think you were being rude. I apologise if you thought I was being short because of that. I'm afraid I was just rushing through and was a bit shorter than I usually am and at a loss for much to say with the last chapter's responses. Thank you though. : )  
**Guest****:** Thank you so much!  
**Fat Old Sun****:** Eep, is it wrong of me to be just the slightest bit proud of myself for making you flinch? I'm glad you liked it - thank you!  
**Poodle warriors****:** I could see them high fiving right around now. It doesn't look good for any of this cast of characters, much less the whole world in the story at this point, I'd say. But I think this plan is a decent one. Could be better, could be worse. : )  
**Purplenurpl****:** Ahh, thank you! Much obliged. Raleigh definitely would hate him forever. That was originally written as a piece that was not designed to be a dream, actually, but when they grew and changed so much and the plot itself became more solid in my head, I realised that there was no way she'd ever forgive him for that and there was no way Loki could ever forgive himself for it either.  
**DMMD****:** Haha, there was a reason I said "Bear with me" at the beginning. I knew there would be a lot of anger at the midsection of that chapter if I didn't say that or make it totally clear that it was a dream. I couldn't blame anyone being angry over it, it's definitely a really dark bit there. Hope you enjoyed it a little more the second time around :p  
**Ithil Aerlinn****:** I'm glad you liked the duel! I think you were one of the only people to mention it to me, so I'm glad that it was received well. :D I was a bit at a loss with it at first, because it's been ages since I wrote one (like over 4 years) so I felt really rusty and unsure. Thanks!  
**Hailey-Stone****:** Haha, thank you. I'm glad you've been enjoying the story even with all of the feels. : )  
**FutureErotic****:** Ack, well, I hope you get some good sleep tonight and I'm glad that you've enjoyed it so much! Thank you! :)


	44. Into the Wild

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own any Marvel characters, just the OCs and plot. If I were paid for all of the blood and sweat I put into this story, it would be highly illegal, which is why I'm not paid for it._

* * *

**Chapter Forty-Four: Into the Wild**

I opened my eyes slowly, surprised to find that I was lying in a bed and that sunlight was leaking through a small, four-pane window nearby. I sat up, glancing around, and pushed the blankets away from myself, wrinkling my nose in disgust at how filthy I was.

I moved slowly, carefully crawling from bed and out from beneath the swath of warm blankets. I stopped as I stood straight, staring at myself in the mirror across the room that hung from the bedroom door.

"Jesus," I croaked, walking forward to examine myself more closely.

I looked horrendous. My hair was matted in certain spots, wild and knotted, overgrown by weeks of confinement. My skin was dirty, speckled with dried blood, my arms bore jagged and still healing cuts, and beneath my fingernails days' worth of grime lay hidden. I cast my gaze down to my legs, grimacing as I realised that I was long overdue for a shave, and gradually became aware of how loose my shorts felt on my waist. I lifted my shirt slowly, peering down at the small gap between my middle and the waistline of my shorts, then dropped my t-shirt back down. It wasn't like I hadn't noticed before, but there was never really a moment where I could simply relax and examine how much weight I'd lost before now.

I sighed heavily, turning to look around the room once.

Loki was nowhere in sight, which was a little bit of a relief. I didn't want to see him; in fact, I wanted nothing to do with him at this moment. I didn't trust him and I didn't think anything he said was true, even if it'd been nice to hope for a second.

I turned back to the door, pulling it open slowly, and walked out into the living area of a small cabin. It was an open floor plan and from where I stood, I could see not only a red sofa that had clearly been slept on, but also a small, quaint kitchen. It was probably the humblest of any 'home' Loki had ever found, but I was strangely content with it. In the corner of the living room, a small fire crackled over the hearth, spreading warmth through the house. The embers glowed a brilliant orange and I approached the fireplace carefully, kneeling down to warm my hands.

It was silly, for I was perfectly warm, but the heat was something I'd missed. It felt like aeons since I'd last been comfortably warm.

My eyes remained locked on the flames as they licked the insides of the fireplace and leapt towards my exposed palms as I knelt upon the hearth. I turned my arms slowly, staring down at the lacerations Amora had left on my skin. They were cut roughly, with varying depths, and there was no particular reason to them. I could remember the pain vividly, the way that Amora smelled, how her hair had tickled at my arms and how her breath had been hot in my face. The memories were enough to turn my stomach and I sucked in a deep breath, willing them away.

The last several months were a blur and I found that I was at a loss when it came to figuring out the day or even the time. I assumed it was autumn and as I squinted and peered out of a nearby window, I could make out the sight of trees in the distance which appeared to be well into the state of losing their leaves. I turned away from the window, frowning, and craned my neck over my shoulder to see if I could spot a calendar to no avail.

So much for that idea.

I sighed to myself, returning to the fire, and stared down at my dirty skin. I looked and felt disgusting and I needed a shower desperately. I turned slightly, searching the cabin for any sign of a bathroom as the idea struck me and smiled when my eyes fell upon the door that was just slightly ajar and revealed a sink.

There was a click somewhere to my right and I whipped around, straining my ears for a noise again. I began to relax when nothing else made a sound and deflated on the hearth slowly. Seconds later, I jumped back from the fireplace at the sound of the cabin's door suddenly opening; a screen door slammed against the doorframe as the heavy wood door swung open, bumping against the kitchen's countertop. I watched as Loki kicked the door shut behind himself and could feel myself begin to calm down at the sight, my heartbeat steadying after the initial alarm.

He carried several plastic bags in each hand and they rustled as he approached the kitchen table, setting them on the tabletop. He flicked a curious gaze to me as I stood, but did not speak. Instead, he simply began to unpack the bags, then turned to the ageing fridge. It looked like it had once been white, but was slightly yellowed, perhaps from smoke or the years that had gone by.

"That bag," he pointed to one that was nearest to the chair at the end of the table, "has a jumper and a pair of jeans in it for you. I believe I remembered your sizes correctly."

I was silent, approaching the table slowly, and eyed the bags and groceries suspiciously.

"How'd you get cash?" I asked him, my voice controlled.

"Does it matter?" he asked, pulling out a gallon of milk from one of the plastic bags. When I lifted my gaze to find his, he sighed, "I visited a bank while you slept."

"You mean you visited a bank's _vault_ while I slept," I corrected him, grinding my teeth slightly. It would figure.

"A bank is a bank no matter where it is that I visit," he replied calmly. "I was at a bank, I simply did not deal with a teller as you might. I elected for a more hands on approach..." He trailed off, putting two loaves of bread on the counter and then looked at me. "I presume you don't approve?"

"You just said that you robbed a bank. Am I supposed to commend you for that?"

"I didn't expect you to," he said quietly.

I slowly fingered the bag that held the jeans and sweater, peering down at it while he ignored me to continue unloading the groceries,. It went on like this for a few more minutes until he had finished stocking the refrigerator and had begun to ball the bags up, placing each ball into one bag which he eventually put in the cabinet beneath the sink.

"Where are we, exactly?" I asked suddenly. He turned, lifting his eyebrows, and I added, "Like, in the world, I mean. Where?"

"Washington," he said quietly, "near the mountains."

"What day is it?"

"It's a Tuesday."

"And the date?"

"5 November."

I nodded slowly, understanding, and pulled the sweater and blue jeans from the bag. I looked up at him, noting that he was watching me curiously and then lifted them slightly, "Thanks," I said shortly. I turned away, tucking them beneath my arm and made for the bathroom, intent upon showering off any reminders of the last several months. I had no desire to remember any of it and while a shower wasn't about to wipe my memory clean, it was certainly a start.

* * *

"Stark is having a press conference," Loki's voice was curt as I left the bathroom an hour later, towel drying my hair still. I turned enough to watch the television from where I stood and stared at the news broadcast curiously. Loki was standing in front of the television, his arms folded across his chest as he read the ticker at the bottom of the screen.

I took a few cautious steps forward, halting beside the coffee table, and stared at the television.

"Turn it up," I said quietly, noticing that he had practically muted the television and was simply reading the headlines at the bottom of CNN's feed.

He obliged, turning the volume on the television up, and I listened as Tony's voice gradually became louder, echoing out of the set and into our living room.

"...Earlier today, I returned to my home from my extended holiday and -" he hesitated, looking down at the scripted cards and then looked off to his left side, likely towards Pepper and Rhodes, then his right, and sighed. He shuffled the cards for a moment and then jostled them around before he rested them on the side of the podium.

Typical Tony.

"Look, I know what everyone is looking for me to say so I'm going to give it to you." I could imagine Pepper and Rhodes both covering their faces in sheer agony as Tony continued on, clutching both sides of the podium, "I wasn't on a holiday. I was being held captive by the two aliens who are leading the war against our planet, Amora and Thanos."

Flashbulbs immediately began to pop wildly and the journalists began shouting incoherently, excitedly even, as they crammed towards the podium to get the first word in. Tony held up his hands, waiting until there was quiet before he spoke again.

"We're in a war with a race of aliens that we have, until this point, been no match for. We've lost a lot of good people for no good reason, but that's all ending starting today. I'm not going to let that happen."

As the true weight of his words settled upon me, I let out a small exhale and Loki turned to me, lifting his eyebrows. "What?"

"He's coming out of retirement," I said, not looking at the god. "After...after last Christmas when he got into a fight with the Mandarin, he basically just stopped being Iron Man. He kept a suit, I think, but I don't really know for sure. He's kept a really low profile the past year, hasn't been doing anything really serious with his suit, but he told me and Thor all about it..."

Loki didn't reply and I didn't care. I was transfixed by the press conference on the television, shocked by the boldness of the move.

"I used to be in the business of war," Tony said, scanning the crowd, his face serious, "and I'll be damned if anyone thinks they can just come to Earth and have it easy. If you want a war, let's have a war. But I think it's high time we started hitting back. You can be damn sure that we're going to win and that we're going to avenge all of those lost. Because if there's one thing that you can't break, it's spirit and that's what we've got. Starting today, this war is ending."

He stepped away from the podium, walking offstage, and I stared at the television screen as Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh.

"That will only serve to incense them," he murmured as he turned the volume back down when the screen returned to the CNN broadcaster in the studio. "Stark is being a -"

"A fool?" I demanded, cutting him off.

"Raleigh," he held up a hand as he turned towards me, "don't."

I glowered, "I will if I please!"

"And when they kill hundreds more of your people because of Stark's words, what then?!" he snarled at me, "Will you please then?"

I flushed red, knowing he was right, but remained firm. Rather than continuing the conversation, I decided to go straight for the throat, saying lowly, "Just because you decided to play hero and jailbreak us doesn't give you the right to act like you're so much better than they are."

Loki grimaced, then shook his head. "By Odin, you are daft."

"Excuse me?!"

"Have you gone deaf as well?" he demanded hotly, "You're so incredibly daft, Raleigh. If it was annoying before, it is positively infuriating now!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked him angrily, tailing him as he made towards the bedroom. "Hey! That's my room!"

_"Our_ bedroom," he spat, rounding on me. "Not yours, _ours."_

I gaped at him, "What?"

He groaned, turning away from me, and made for the room again when I cut him off. He glared down his nose at me when I took my place in front of the door and then said, "You should move aside, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"Because you care so much about my well being," I said dryly.

His glare only seemed to intensify, "If I didn't care, your back would be ravaged right now. You are incredibly lucky -"

"I was in a cage for four months. How am I _lucky?!"_ I demanded shrilly, my voice going up an octave. I threw my hands into the air when he didn't immediately reply and turned, stalking into my - _our_ - bedroom. Loki followed on my heels closely and seized me by the arm, whirling me around.

"Raleigh -"

"Get off of me!" I demanded, hitting his chest angrily. "Just let go of me! Stop it!"

"Would you listen -"

"Ge'off!"

"Goddamn it, Raleigh, I did it because I love you!" he shouted at me, releasing my arm. "I did all of it because I love you!"

I staggered backwards, staring at him in shock as the words began to sink in. I felt like someone had tugged the rug out from beneath my feet; my head spun and I took another step backwards as Loki reached for me, almost desperately.

The words were hushed, my voice choked with emotion, "Stay away."

"Raleigh, please..."

"Stay away," I repeated myself, holding up a hand to stop his advance. "Please, just stay away." I shook my head at him. "I don't love you and I don't want to be around you right now." I turned my head away, taking in a deep breath as my line of vision blurred and then covered my eyes with my hand, rattling in breaths carefully. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think that he had tried to sacrifice Thor and Tony because he loved me, that he'd left me behind to S.H.I.E.L.D. because he loved me, that he allowed me to sit in a dark, dank cell for several months because he loved me. That wasn't the kind of love I wanted.

Love was selfless.

This...this was something I could not describe and did not want to attempt to.

When I lowered my hand back to my side, I found that Loki was nowhere in sight and that I was alone in the room. Relieved, I let out a long sigh, and then turned, making my way back to the bed to close my eyes in the hopes that I might yet wake up and find that all of this was nothing but a terrible dream.

* * *

Loki slept on the sofa for the rest of the week and into the next, which was a relief, and for the most part we ignored and avoided one another. The brief argument we'd had where he'd confessed his feelings for me seemed to have finished and topped any other fight we could have had.

The silence was tolerable. I could sit beside him on the sofa watching the news in silence until I was tired and excuse myself to bed with no problems, but there was a part of me that resented my aloofness. I wanted to talk with him, to be friendly. Thus far, he was the only one between the two of us that left the property to go to town. I presumed he teleported himself there and back after retrieving groceries or toilet tissue for he always seemed haggard upon his return and was occasionally more surly.

He snapped sometimes, making biting remarks at me when he entered the cabin and found me in his way. I'd returned his fire, explaining as civilly as possible that I was cooking myself breakfast and that there was an entire cabin for him to walk around. This of course resulted in him throwing whatever he'd bought in town onto the table and storming several feet away into the living room to watch the news or back out the door to sit on the porch, sulking.

I watched him from the kitchen window after dinner on some nights as I dried dishes and put them away. He usually sat on the porch swing, but occasionally he walked down to the river and stood on the embankment. He'd stare up at the stars or sit on the grass, staring at the night sky for hours at a time.

I had fallen asleep on the sofa over the weekend and woken in the early hours of the morning to Loki walking into the cabin at long last. He'd stopped at the sight of me on the couch and looked almost as though he wished to come forward and talk, but then he'd turned away and gotten himself a glass of water. Not needing to be told once, much less twice, I'd quickly gotten to my feet and left the room before he had finished his drink.

I could feel myself growing healthier as the days passed and my appetite was gradually increasing from small portions to more average meals. I'd lost weight over the last four months and most of my clothes - well, the few things Loki had picked up for me - hung loose and needed to be taken in. That was the first order of business, I'd decided on my second day out of the cell. I needed to put weight back on as I was almost certainly underweight. Looking at myself in the mirror to find gaunt cheekbones and dark circles under my eyes had been enough of a motivation.

The daily showers had renewed what little life I had left in my hair and it had begun to grown soft from the hard water and the air was clean in the mountains, which was refreshing. In all, the arrangement was nice. Even if I was still with Loki, this was a nice arrangement and one I could grow used to. There was little to no threat where we stayed and I knew that there would be no real problems in the remote area of the mountains where the cabin was hidden away. It didn't give me peace, for I knew that beyond the walls and beyond the forest that closed the small wooden house off from the rest of the world a war was brewing and that people were dying. I was, to an extent, guilty. I'd played a part in bringing that war to Earth and I deserved just as much as anyone else involved to be out on the front lines.

What I intended to do, I had no idea. In fact, even telling him to take me to London when it was time had been a split second decision. As the days wore on, I found myself brooding about just what I planned to do when the moment came and when I finally found myself back in London, facing Amora and Thanos head on. Of course, this was assuming Loki held true to his word. I had barely spoken more than two words to him since that first day, which left me wondering if he intended to uphold his promise. If he did, I would be caught in the middle of a battle and would be sorely out of place. I knew nothing about war, nothing of tactics, let alone how to ward off chitauri.

The Avengers had begun to appear at the various battles, which had helped marginally. They decreased casualties as they helped the local people to safety and from burning and crumbling buildings. It was, realistically, a losing battle. Morale had been boosted with the return of Iron Man and Thor and for a few days, it seemed that everyone, including the media, believed that the tide was turning. It wasn't of course, for Amora simply opened more portals with the Book and called more chitauri and foreign monsters that could strike terror into the hearts of millions.

It was hope that kept people from doing anything drastic and from completely losing it. And I had to hand it to Tony for reinstilling some of that hope in the masses. People needed a hero, they wanted one, and while the Avengers were trying their best, I was beginning to think that they weren't the exact calibre that the world needed this time. They couldn't get close enough no matter how strong they were. They could only do so much. The more I thought about it, the more I began to think, perhaps foolishly, it wasn't a hero that the world needed, but rather a villain.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Another one that's a bit on the short side, but it works better this way, I think._

_Anyhow, thanks to everyone that read and reviewed and also a big thank you to anyone who followed or favoured. :) It's much appreciated._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Loki'sDreamer****:** Yep, they're almost back to normal in a way. :)  
**CharmiaArkenstone****:** Thank you! xxx  
**Hailey-Stone****:** I'm flattered to be responsible for your flailing! And thanks :) I actually really enjoy writing his POV and think of it as a treat. :)  
**amakitkat****:** I'm definitely going to do a sequel to this story. The very first chapter of that story is posted right now under the title "A Token of Gratitude" on this site. So if you go visit my page you'll see what the premise is and the first chapter. When I figure out a proper title, I'll be reposting that and then expanding upon it from there. So yeah, a sequel is definitely happening. :) And there is a lot that's going to happen in the next 10 chapters. A whole lot. Smut could even be on the cards.  
**Dreams of Shadows****:** Definitely not out of the woods yet. Almost, but not quite. I'll endeavour to!  
**Dontgotaclue88****:** Yes he can be and he's very, very good at it. :p  
**Poodle warriors****:** When I originally drafted it, months ago, it was very, very different. He was supposed to leave one of them behind as he could only take two and Raleigh refused to allow him to leave Tony behind to save she and Thor, which I think played a part in the final edit of that scene, since there's no way Raleigh would have let him simply take her at this point while sacrificing Thor and Tony. Steve's totally safe, I promise. :) I mean, KMD88 would come kill me if I so much as harmed a hair on his head.  
**Purplenurpl****:** Oh, thank you! :) I appreciate that tremendously! I'm quite proud of them both right now and how they've grown over the course of this story. And while I can't make any promises, there's a sequel to look forward to so I don't think you've got too much to be worried about. If that's any consolation at all. :)  
**Time Lady 945****:** Haha, no don't be sorry! To be honest, that popped into my head as I was deciding where I wanted to send them. But I ended up deciding on it as a good location. Anywhere else I could think of was either too populated, had (in my mind) already been targeted, or was too close to New York or DC. I did think about Canada for a little while, but I didn't want to write that since I've not holidayed in the western territory of Canada before and would be out of my element. So no worries at all. I had a little laugh at that too. And thanks! :D  
**Ellize Avalon****:** It tentatively looks like it might be about 53 chapters in all, which is a little more than I'd anticipated. And you've got good theories there, quite a few are feasible, I'd say. I can say for certain that the climax will be happening in London. I know the city extremely well as it's my home away from home and there's no place better to write than somewhere that you know. :)  
**Candy flaps****:** Thank you! xx  
**KMD88****:** Haha, I'm glad you appreciated a hearty helping of Steve. :p  
**NoVacancyMind****:** Indeed he has gotten his head on right and Thor is back. Things are sort of looking up? And I'm glad you liked that! I'd been wanting to do a Steve POV for a while now to see how it turned out just out of curiosity.


	45. Moonlit Confessional

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Marvel characters, just OCs & plot.

* * *

**Chapter Forty-Five: Moonlit Confessional**

The front door opened slowly and William poked his head around the frame, staring at the young police officer as he stood upon the stoop of the house. Jim smiled as the wind blew again, the frigid air sending a chill down his spine. He pulled his coat a little closer, grateful for the warmth of the fleece lining, and nodded to Raleigh's father.

"Good evening, sir," he greeted.

"Jim," William answered with a nod. "How are you?"

"Good," he replied. Jim watched as William stepped aside and opened the door a little further. He stepped inside, removing his cap, and tucked it beneath his arm as he stood in the foyer. "Thank you," he told the older man as the door was shut behind him. "How are you doing?"

"Very well," he said. He opened his mouth to continue, but then stopped, catching the sound of the intro to the eleven o'clock news. He held up his hand, heading into the living room, and Jim took a few more steps into the house as he unzipped his coat and pulled his scarf from around his neck. Susan had given it to him for his birthday the week before and he'd made a point of wearing it when he was not on duty.

He pulled at his turtleneck's collar, then checked the collar of his dress shirt to ensure that it had not been twisted or turned up by the scarf. He really didn't have it in him to iron the damn thing for a third time in the same week.

He turned, looking around the house as he waited for William's return, and made note of all the similarities to his memories. It never seemed to change much. More photos of Raleigh and Ben appeared upon the walls as they grew older, but there was little else that changed. A small table still sat beneath the hall mirror, displaying a photo of Raleigh and Ben from several years prior. He approached it slowly, picking up the frame, and clutched it in his hands as he stared down at the photograph.

They'd gone to the beach shortly before Raleigh had left and captured this photo. William had taken one of Jim with the two siblings as well, which was still in his possession. A single photo of he and Raleigh from that day existed, which was in her care, and he silently hoped that she still had it after all of these years.

"They attacked Hamburg," William said as he reappeared in the hall. Jim looked up at him, setting the frame down, and his brow furrowed.

"Hamburg? That's still a pretty long way off from New York."

William sighed, rubbing his face wearily. "Won't be long now," he muttered. He looked into the living room again, then back at Jim, saying, "They'll have to move my conference."

"That's right," he murmured as he recalled the conference Ben had mentioned months before. "I forgot that you were leaving after the holiday for Hamburg. When will they tell you?"

"Soon," he nodded. "It'll have to be somewhere that hasn't been put in harm's way yet. They'll be in Germany again so the entire country is out, sadly. We can't move it to Munich or even Berlin. Maybe France. It's been good there."

Jim was quiet, then, "How's Ben?"

"He's good. Fell asleep watching _Homeland_; he's still in there on the chair. I'll wake him in the hour probably. He'll have a crick in his neck if he sleeps like that."

Jim smiled, taking a step forward to peek into the living room. Sure enough, Ben was snoozing in the recliner, his head tilted to the side, a small trickle of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth.

"Looks good," he muttered, drawing back with a smirk.

Chuckling, William nodded and beckoned for him to follow as he turned and headed for the kitchen. Jim trailed after him, sweeping his gaze over the room curiously as they entered. Susan was sat at the table, setting up a sewing pattern, and she looked at Jim quizzically over her square shaped spectacles as his eyes came to rest upon her.

"Isn't it a bit late to be paying house calls, James?" she asked him, frowning slightly.

"I just got off duty," Jim replied coolly. Despite having made their amends for years bygone, Susan was still relatively chilly towards him and he returned her iciness with ease. She'd been looking at dogs again, apparently dragging out long conversations with William about getting a bulldog. The damn thing would stink up the whole house if she got her way...

"I called him, Sue," William said as he pulled a decanter of brandy out from a cabinet. "He's always welcome here."

She sighed, leaving her sewing as she changed the subject, "Is Benjamin going to school on Monday?"

Jim glanced between the two, "Why wouldn't Ben go to class Monday? The Thanksgiving holiday isn't for another couple of days."

"Tony Stark called," William replied, passing Jim a small tumbler filled with brandy. "He wants to meet with us Monday morning at his office in Midtown. Apparently he's flying Ronnie and Frank in."

"That horrible woman is coming?" Susan asked, scowling at her brother. "Honestly, Bill, what you saw in her -"

"Veronica is Raleigh's mother," William said, interrupting his sister. He held up a hand as Susan glowered at him, continuing on, "She deserves to be just as in the loop as the rest of us and Stark invited her. I don't get it, but we'll see Monday. Just be nice, Susie. Ronnie's in the same boat as us right now."

Susan sighed heavily, shaking her head, and muttered something under her breath as she returned to her sewing.

Veronica and Frank, well that was something... The last Jim had heard of them, was that they were staying in Inverness. Jenny, some annoying, perky little blonde girl had called up in July and he had had the misfortune of answering. She claimed to have moved them herself and on her own terms, but Jim had a feeling she was only telling half the story.

"He knows something about Raleigh," Jim said quietly. It wasn't a question; in fact, he was certain of it. Stark had to know something that he was withholding from S.H.I.E.L.D. and thus, from the Alexanders.

William shrugged, taking a swig of brandy from his tumbler. "We'll see come Monday."

Jim sipped his own slowly, the alcohol burning his throat as he swallowed it in a gulp, then he returned his attention to William. "Is that Jenny girl coming?"

"Jenny?" he smiled, "You know her?"

"We spoke on the phone briefly. She called here one afternoon, I told you how Veronica and Frank were staying in Inverness after that."

"Ah, right," he nodded, recalling the conversation. "I don't know if she'll be along. Stark didn't say. Why do you ask?"

Jim shook his head, "No reason. I just thought she might be coming if she knew something."

"Well, you've been invited along," William said, casually segueing back into the original conversation. "You know more about these people than I do."

"You mean S.H.I.E.L.D. will be there?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

William shrugged again, "Don't know, but I'd rather not be flying blind. You're coming."

"I've got a shift at three on Monday," Jim said, setting his glass down. "Are we planning on being done by then?"

"We'll see," William said quietly and before Jim could reply, he continued on, "Ben let it slip a little while ago that they offered you a job. You planning on taking it?"

Jim glowered at the older man, "I haven't made any final decisions. I'm happy where I am."

William nodded, sipping his brandy again, "I know you're happy there. But you know, there's only so far you can go in this field, Jim. I've always supported you, but you and I both know that you won't be able to make it into Quantico without your BA. They already turned you down once."

Jim's stomach dropped at the mention of the FBI training centre. He'd been turned away for having a lack of experience and educational merits. He'd since reapplied, citing his recent service award from the mayor, but he wasn't holding his breath on a change. Community college, even though it would have been cheaper than another university and more leisurely, would not result in the kind of degree that he could feasibly compete with. He'd rejected Tufts and Stanford at eighteen rather than deferring enrolment, no doubt blacklisting his name in their books and ensuring his rejection to the universities were he to reapply.

He'd been growing restless in New York. He'd had a taste of what the greater arm of law enforcement entailed when Loki had destroyed half of the city the year before. He'd worked side by side with officers from the FBI and Homeland Security and who knew where else. He would wait years to get a chance to have his foot in the door with the NYPD's counterterrorism group, while working with the FBI would have allowed him a broader range and a higher pedigree of criminal than some stupid kids who drank underage or an angry married couple that bitched about one another in either of his ears at the top of their lungs.

S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't his cup of tea, but it was looking more tempting as the days passed. Being cornered into his tiny studio apartment and risking his neck in the dodgier parts of his beat was only fun for so long. He wanted a promotion. He'd done enough work to get promoted. He deserved a promotion as far as he was concerned. If he was promoted to detective before the end of the year, he would stay. If he wasn't, well, he had enough money saved up to float himself through the first few months, maybe to get out of the city and start up somewhere else in the worst case scenario...

He picked up his glass of brandy and drained it, then looked back at William who was watching him with a concerned expression.

"I'll be here at eight then," he said, "is that a good time?"

"Well, all right, but why don't you spend the night, Jim?" William suggested quietly. "You've got some things here if you need some spare clothes and you know where everything is. There's no need for you to go rushing off."

He shook his head, opening his mouth to protest, when Susan piped up, "Stay in Raleigh's room tonight, James. The streets are no place for a boy at this time."

"I'm a cop, Susan. I carry a gun on me at all times."

She got to her feet, shuffling around the table, and flicked out the light that had been illuminating the fine details of her needlework. She looked up at him, "And do you really think that they aren't going to have guns, too? In this kind of climate?"

He knew what she was referring to: people were scared of Amora and Thanos. There was a paranoia that hung over the city like smog, suffocating them all. Everyone waited, terrified, on the edge of their seats, for the day when they would finally strike and destroy New York as they had destroyed so many other cities. They'd been to Philadelphia not long ago, Indianapolis before that, and Lincoln as well. There were more, but it seemed like they only came closer to the island of Manhattan with each attack on the United States.

Hundreds had already fled, thinking it wise and that their foresight would protect them from harm. Who knew how many had gone to Newark and Philadelphia and who knew how many had fled north to the mountains and beyond that, into New England. There were thousands that stayed and Jim knew that the Alexanders would stay until the very last moment. William had made it explicitly clear over dinner, much to the Susan's chagrin, that he would not be run out of his home and that he would not uproot his or his family's life because of madmen. That, he said, was what they wanted. That was allowing them to win. Running away in terror only served their purpose.

They were no more than common terrorists, William had declared that same night. Their family hadn't left when 9/11 happened, they hadn't left when Loki had destroyed several skyscrapers and killed thousands more, and they wouldn't leave now. They weren't running away from the fight.

Susan, for her part, had been livid, but Jim had found a renewed sense of respect for the man. And he hoped to stay as well. He would stay for as long as it was possible, even if it meant being on the front lines when the day finally came. It was his duty, after all.

He smiled at the woman, then nodded. "It'd be a pretty long trek home at this hour," he said, glancing towards the clock on the microwave. It was a quarter past midnight and while it was a lie that it would be a long trek home by anything other than foot, which he'd planned to take, he was telling the truth when he said, "I'd love to stay."

* * *

Loki jolted slightly at the sound of the screen door against the frame and turned his head to find Raleigh standing beside him, extending a steaming mug towards him. He blinked in surprise, then glanced up at her to find her face expressionless.

"It's hot cocoa," she told him quietly when he didn't make a move for the dark red handle, "I made you one. You've been sitting out here for hours in the cold."

He nodded slowly, taking it, and then rested it upon his knee. He returned his gaze to the sky, gazing out from beneath the cover of the porch at the moon where it hung above the treetops. Raleigh suddenly sat down in the wooden chair beside him, pulling her legs up and tucking them beneath herself. She clutched a mug in her own hands and sat quietly, staring out at the darkness.

"Can we talk?" she asked him after a few more moments.

He turned slowly, lifting the mug to his lips and took a tentative sip of the sweet drink, enjoying it. Raleigh was staring down at her hands, her brow furrowed, and she glanced up at him, waiting, when he did not give an answer.

"We can," he agreed, nodding at her.

She took a deep breath, rubbing her thumb along the rim of her mug, and then said, "Why did you take me back?"

"They..." he struggled for a moment, realising that he was entirely unsure of a solid reason, of a guaranteed motivation besides his feelings for her. "They mean to ruin New York; I feared that you might be killed in the ensuing battle."

"But they haven't yet," she replied, her voice cold and her gaze hard, "and I sat around for four months. My family probably thinks I'm dead."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, casting his gaze towards the wooden planks of the porch. Raleigh was silent, possibly caught off guard by the apology, and did not press the issue any further or begin to argue as she had for so long now.

"Did you mean what you said the other day?" she asked, shifting slightly. She was no longer glaring at him, instead her eyes were soft, her face curious. He stared at her for a few moments, silent, before he nodded.

"I did," he told her.

"Okay," she said slowly, then, "tell me about everything you did. You said you did all of this because you love me, but I don't get what _this _is or why it's a good thing."

He sighed, feeling a little unsettled by the demand but then acquiesced. For the next half hour, he recounted to her his story. He told her of how Amora had been involved from the beginning, how she wished for Raleigh to have been killed on several occasions, how she had attempted to intervene and carry out the promise of her death by sending the chitauri to them in France. He even told her of how he often alluded to spending time with other mortal women when he was truly going to visit Amora, which had earned him a dirty look and a few icy remarks.

He had seen other mortal women, mostly to spite Raleigh for whatever reason, but also, as time passed, to deter Amora from the young woman that sat beside him. It was easier to deny his growing affections for her if he was supposedly sleeping around with other Midgardians. Few had been real, but there had been enough to bother Raleigh and to perturb Amora. And so he continued to describe to her each memory with as much detail and information as he could muster and answered her questions and quelled her confusion along the way, hoping she might grow to understand his emotions and the change that had occurred within him.

It was only when he began to recount his return to New York in disguise and his interrogation of her that she froze and then began to grow angry.

"That was _you?"_ she demanded, clutching her mug tighter in her hands.

"Raleigh, please," he urged her, "give me a moment to explain."

"But you hit me!" she retorted, her voice rising as she continued on, "You slapped me in the middle of that conversation and you called me a whore and said all of those horrible things and you hit me, Loki!"

"I know," he nodded, "and I never meant to, you must believe me. I have never once wished to harm you and that was an accident."

"An accident is spilling water on me; you hit me, it's completely different and -"

He reached out, seizing her hand, and she broke off, staring at him, her face riddled with fury. He could see her eyes in the dim light that poured from the cabin's windows; they were wide, alarmed, and perhaps even hurt. He'd expected this guilt and while he knew that he would have to confess to the act at some point, he'd mostly hoped it would be on better terms.

"I swear to you that it will never happen again, Raleigh. Such an act is reprehensible and I deserve your ire, it is rightfully earned, but I assure you that I shall never harm you in that way as long as I live."

She was quiet for some time, staring at him as she considered his words, and then she finally said, "Well, go on then, tell me the rest."

He sighed, but did so anyway. He told her of breaking the agent's back and watched as she recoiled in horror and stood, almost as if she were preparing to walk away, before she sat back down and covered her face. She was silent, listening to the rest of his story, of how he had seen her with the police officer, how they had met that one night, and he finished by telling her of his interactions with Amora throughout her confinement, how he had carefully walked a fine line between her protector and tormentor, trying his best to keep her, and himself, safe from discovery.

When he had finally finished, she nodded, fingering her mug again, and then looked at him, her brow furrowing, "What about Amora?"

"What of her?" Loki asked, his voice turning sour at the mention of the Enchantress. She had been on the television earlier, caught on camera as she terrorised some city far away, Johannesburg he believed it had been.

"I just... I don't get it. What are you two?" she asked him. "I mean, you're saying you guys were, like, partners in crime and co-conspirators but you seemed like you were something more, that's all."

"She and I are - _were_ - lovers," he explained, truthful. When Raleigh's eyes widened slightly, her mouth opening to protest, he held up a hand to silence her, "Please, allow me to finish before you pass your judgments, Raleigh."

She hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, waiting patiently for him to continue.

Satisfied, Loki carried on, "We met when we were children in Asgard. She comes from a well to do family from far away, which I have never personally met and know very little of save for what she has told me over the centuries. She possesses powers in the magical arts that rival my own and she is a highly skilled sorceress. We trained together and taught one another many things over the last two millennia."

"That doesn't explain how you two ended up in bed together," Raleigh muttered, avoiding his gaze.

"Doesn't it though?" he lifted his eyebrows at her and then took another sip of the cocoa, which had now gone much cooler. "She fell in love with Thor, of course, who wanted nothing to do with her. He only had eyes for Sif, a powerful warrior and the only woman in his band." Loki shook his head at the memory of Sif and Thor together, how annoying it had been, and then sighed. He continued on, his look far away as he recounted his memories, "Amora, seeking out approval or what have you, foolishly came to me after stumbling upon Thor and Sif one evening. Being selfish and jealous of my brother, and but a child, I manipulated the situation to my advantage and soon thereafter she and I became lovers. I had what Thor could have and I thought her a fair sight better than Sif."

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Raleigh said, her voice shaking slightly.

He looked at her, his lips pressing into a thin line, but he remained steady, "I asked that you allow me to finish, Raleigh, before you pass your judgments. I am not finished."

"You manipulated her and -"

"And she manipulated me in turn, many, many, many times," Loki told her, cutting her off. "Have you forgotten so soon? She is cunning and crafty. If she was not content to settle for the dark Prince, she would not have. She knew what she was doing just as I did as I comforted her and attempted to turn her away from the idea of Thor that night she came to me in the gardens."

"I haven't forgotten," Raleigh said and even in the dim light that leaked through the windows of the cabin, Loki could see the blush on her cheeks as she looked down again. "I haven't," she repeated herself, almost as if to prove a point. "And I won't."

He nodded, continuing, "It would be prudent of you to bear it in mind. As for my relationship with Amora, I grew to care for her over the years, as anyone in a situation such as that might. It is not as uncommon as you believe. You have arranged marriages here upon Earth, do you not?"

Raleigh nodded, biting on her lower lip.

"It is similar to how a man and wife that are forced into a marriage gradually begin to find favour with one another and often grow to love one another or to, at the very least, consider the other a friend. We grew to care for one another gradually and our trysts were no longer of little consequence. We found one another favourable and we spent centuries together. She knows me far better than any other Asgardian, save, perhaps, my brother."

"You still love her?"

"I never said that I loved her," Loki murmured, "I said I cared for her and found her favourable. I used to believe that I loved her, that I might eventually, in another millennia, settle with her. She was at my side for many of my most trying moments and she assisted me greatly when I was first cast down to Midgard in finding the Book."

"That sounds real great of her all right," Raleigh mumbled, "helping you to find a book that is opening portals to kills thousands of people all over the world."

Loki ignored her comment, "She led me to you, coincidentally enough."

She stared at him, "I don't...I don't get what you mean."

"I asked for her to find me a Midgardian to use for assistance. I presumed, when I was in captivity upon Asgard, that I would be given a punishment such as this and cast down to Midgard. I thought, selfishly, that I might find the Book of Ullr and with it, I would begin to usurp the throne that was rightfully my own."

"Loki -" her voice was angry now.

"I'm not finished," he shook his head. "Do not pass your judgments yet."

Raleigh fell silent again, waiting for him.

"Amora brought me to your shop that night. She studied you for several days prior and thought you fit to assist me. She thought you weak, that you would be easy to mould, and that when the time came, that you would be simply disposed of. I agreed and I came to you only to learn, over the course of many months, that her initial assumptions were incorrect and that it was not you who was being moulded, but rather _I _who was changing instead."

Raleigh stared at him, the anger having faded from her face, and he took the opportunity to continue with his confidence reassured, "I grew to love you. Do not ask me when, do not ask me why for I do not know, but I gradually found myself becoming sentimental towards you. I felt for you in a way unlike any prior. The feelings I developed for you painted a very stark contrast to those that I had believed were love when I considered myself to be Amora's alone."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice quiet.

The words were coming easier now than he thought they might have, "I was compassionate towards you. I longed to keep you safe from harm, to ensure your safety by any means necessary, and I found that I was willing to sacrifice and do for you many things that I would never have thought I might. I learned from you, also, that as the time passed, you did change, but you grew and as you did, you taught me that humans are not as pitiful a species as many upon Asgard believe."

"Why did you hate humans and think so poorly of us?"

"I never hated humans," he shook his head. "I hated the love my father and brother had for them. I was jealous. I thought I was being robbed of affections that were rightfully my own by a race Asgardians consider to be inferior." He looked at Raleigh, feeling slightly ashamed of himself for admitting it. "I am a man of two thousand years, Raleigh, I have my biases, my bigotry, and I am not easy to change, nor shall I ever be so malleable as a human. You grow and change with the years, perhaps because of your short lives, and perhaps you are superior to Asgardians in that regard. As you learn, you change with a great deal of ease in comparison to what I face.

"I still am struggling to appreciate humans on a whole. We learn from a young age that humans do not possess our longevity, our intellect, our strength. You have nothing that we do and we consider that to be barbaric, that you humans are a primitive species. And thus, our own brand of speciesism is born. It is a belief that you are inferior to us, one which I held for many, many years. Thor, too, held such a belief prior to his time in New Mexico. We are a selfish, presumptuous, and arrogant people in this regard, not unlike your racists or bigots here upon Earth. All intelligent species have such bias, but our societies tell us differently. My home reassured me of the inferiority of Midgardians whereas yours assures you that such ideas of superiority and bigotry are foul and to be frowned upon as a great offence."

"So that's why Amora hates me."

He nodded, "It is a part of her hatred for you, yes. She is just as bigoted against Midgardians as many other Asgardians might be. There is a reason you do not see Asgardians fighting for your Earth - we do not feel your planet is ours to fight for. We have no desire to defend you. Some of us, Thor and I included, would disagree, but the general masses will find that if an Asgardian such as Amora is involved, we cannot and should not interfere."

"So Asgard just doesn't care?"

Loki looked over at her, watching as she took a wary sip of her drink, and then sighed. "Odin does, I imagine, and he is capable of dispensing troops upon Midgard to protect your people. I do not know why he has not sent any. Overall though, yes, Raleigh, Asgard does not care."

"So you don't love her?" she said, clearly hoping to glean a bit of good to go with the bad.

He chuckled, shaking his head, "No, Raleigh. I do not have any love for Amora."

A few minutes of silence fell between them as Raleigh absorbed all of this information and mulled it over. Loki took the silence in stride, pleased to have a few moments to himself to stare up at the night sky again. He drank his cocoa slowly, holding the mug tightly in his hands, and avoided the temptation to look back at Raleigh. She hadn't willingly sat this close to him in what felt like an eternity.

"Can I ask you something else?"

He nodded quickly, turning his attention back to her, "Of course you may."

"Why didn't you kill her?" Raleigh asked. "If you don't love her, if she's just some broad, and you say you love me -"

_"Raleigh,"_ his voice was sharp and she fell silent, flushing red again.

"Sorry."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I thought you might understand."

"I don't," she said quietly.

"My love for Amora is not there, it is true. However, I cannot change that or what I felt for her at one point in time."

"I still don't get what you're saying."

"Did you love him?" Loki asked, turning his body more towards her suddenly. Raleigh stared at him, clearly unsure of who he meant, and so he clarified, "The police officer."

"James," she corrected him almost automatically, then she nodded. "I loved him, yeah."

He nodded, "Imagine that he wronged you, that he hurt you in a way that you cannot bear, and that you were eventually put into a place where you were forced to be with him once again. Now imagine that he wronged you and you possessed the ability to physically bring harm, even death, to him."

"Like you and Amora," she said quietly, nodding. "I'd hate him, but…."

"But?" he lifted his eyebrows at her, watching as she searched for the answer, clearly trying her best to understand his motivations.

"But I couldn't hurt him back. I loved him too much," she said finally, shaking her head. "I could never hurt him."

"And that is why I could not kill Amora," he explained to her, "I shared far too much with her to harm her. I cared for her far too much. I could protect you, could be blinded with emotion when she brought you harm, and I would make an exception to killing her if she came within an inch of your life, but I could not simply kill her with no provocation. I was placed in a very difficult position where my emotions were complicating matters."

Raleigh was quiet, staring at him, and then said, "You'd kill her for me?"

"If she were to try for your life, I would not hesitate to, Raleigh. Do not doubt me."

She nodded, growing quiet again, and sat beside him in her chair while she sipped at her drink. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she looked up at him, "When are they going to go to London? They were in Hamburg today."

"Soon," he replied, sighing. "They have a loose plan of attack. They'll go to France next, finish in Italy afterwards, and then make their way to Germany again. They want Berlin and Munich. London will follow."

"How soon will that be?"

He shrugged, "Could be in a week, could be in three. I cannot say for certain now that I am no longer privy to their plans. When Munich falls, London will be their next target."

Raleigh nodded, "Can we still go?"

He looked at her, sighing, "I know that you intend to go regardless of my answer and I would rather you be in my company and safe."

"Is that a yes?" she asked curiously.

Loki nodded. "Yes, it is, Raleigh."

She nodded, leaning back in her seat, and clutched her mug a little closer to her chest. She looked up at the moon, squinting her eyes to see it from her vantage point, and then glanced at him. She smiled slightly, then gestured towards the night sky.

"I see why you spend so much time out here," she said, nodding. "It's very peaceful."

Loki smiled in reply and drank his cocoa in silence, enjoying Raleigh's company. Her revulsion was well deserved, her ire as well, yet it surprised him that she still felt civil towards him and compelled to speak to him kindly. He deserved nothing of that nature. He deserved all of her hate, all of her ire, all of her disgust, but not her kindness nor her hope. And yet that was what he received. It was remarkably admirable and generous of her. It shocked him to find that she had attempted and was gradually understanding his desires and feelings as she might understand her own.

For a moment, he thought it might be for his benefit, but then he realised that that was highly unlikely and that there was no feasible reason for her to offer him a kindness that he might deserve. What she did was for her own self-interest, not his. Were she to find a kindness he deserved, he would be shocked beyond belief.

He dreaded the coming days, the impending battles, and her foolhardiness. He wished dearly that she might wise up and stay behind, allowing him to venture out on his own to fight back against Amora and Thanos, but he knew her as well as she liked to think she knew him or perhaps as well as she knew him now. Either way, they understood one another to an extent. And he dreaded the possibility of not coming back to a warm home where pillows smelled of her and her voice rang through the rooms.

How lonely Asgard would feel without her by his side. It would be completely alien when compared to what he felt here tonight: a strange warmth brought on not only by her sweet gesture of a warm drink, but by her very presence beside him. He could feel her warmth and her aura shed itself upon him, lifting his spirits to heights that they had not reached in so many months. The thought of going without this, something that felt so strangely vital now, disturbed him. He rued the day that would eventually come where he would no longer wake to find her waiting for him for he knew it would bear a cold no flame could heat.

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_**A/N:** Soooo, this chapter and the next couple (46 & 47) are all going to be fairly lengthy, so not sure when you can expect them. I'm revising 46 currently, making sure it's up to standards, but 47 has barely been touched yet. And then it's just who knows. I have only a few chapters left after that and loose pieces to put together to make up a couple of those chapters, but that'll take some time. I'm aiming for this to finish before 1 July though as I've a new job I'll be starting then that will be filling up all of my time in the day and making it a little harder to write/post regularly. That's beside the point though._

_Any who, yes, lengthy little diddies for a little while and a nice heart to heart conversation for Raleigh and Loki which they needed to say the very least._

_46 will be up soon. Whoop._

_Thank you to everyone who fav'd or followed this story (or me)! You're lovely and I appreciate you dearly._

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**Reviews:**

**Crede Biron:** I wouldn't say he's "joining" them, personally, but you're on the right track. :)  
**Dreams of Shadows:** Thanks! I'll try to keep updating on a fairly regular basis like this. :)  
**Loki'sDreamer:** Indeed, she did! If it'll always be like that, we'll see. :p  
**Hailey-Stone:** Thanks! I'm glad you love it. :) And I definitely think there's a hearty helping of Loki POV in this chapter, hopefully it'll give you an idea as to what's going on inside his head.  
**Kearabee:** I really didn't expect the reaction to his admission that I got, but I'll agree that it definitely hurts. I've been in his position before and god, it's gutting. But you're right, his intentions were good, but he had bad timing and a bad approach, too.  
**NoVacancyMind:** Thanks! :D And yeah, I actually felt a little bit bad (and completely forgot until I read your review) about that little nugget regarding IM3; my Beta read it over and she hadn't seen the film and was like "Well, there's a spoiler." and I felt like such a little shit. But I liked it and kept it as I thought it was pretty fitting. So, anyway, thank you. :) Hehe.  
**CharmiaArkenstone:** I like her a great deal more now that she's grown a backbone if I'm to be honest. :p As for a love scene, it's a very strong possibility that that's on the cards. Thank you! xxx  
**Time Lady 945:** Haha, what can possibly go wrong (or right)? And no worries, everyone has their busy times! Thanks for dropping in despite it. :)  
**Ellize Avalon:** Yep, the plot thickens - Loki's going to be in the final battle and he's confessed his feelings. Gives me a lot to work with in the next 6 chapters, which I'm happy about. And thank you - that means a lot to hear, it really does, and I appreciate that plenty. A reconciliation is on the cards, but I wouldn't say it's a full reconciliation between Raleigh and Loki. There's going to be bad blood between them for a long time, I think. Thanks! I quite like it here, it's home and really lovely. No, I've not seen/met him but I've never really bothered to look either; he's just an actor, after all. And your theories still have something to be said for - they're quite good. :) You might be on the right track. And thank you!  
**amakitkat:** Indeed! And the climax, with Amora, is coming so you might just get your wish. :) Cool! Hope you've enjoyed it. I'll be posting it after this story's final chapter again for anyone who is interested but hasn't seen I uploaded a preview of the sequel so if you're not yet seen it, it'll be on here eventually. Smut is possibly on the cards. :) Thanks!  
**purplenurpl:** Hey! They got their heart to heart - good call. Any who, I don't think I can blame either of them. It's a pretty complicated situation and he did have some pretty lousy timing there. But I think that their talk in this chapter helps a lot, especially on Raleigh's part because she's been so out of the loop on everything that he's done and everything he feels.  
**Ithil Aerlinn:** Thank you! I really loved the last line of that chapter. I don't think you have anything to worry about with their silent treatment after this chapter, it looks to me like they'll be chatting again quite regularly now that they've had this conversation, which was much needed. I'm glad you liked that :p And thank you! Much obliged.  
**KMD88:** As I said when we were texting (haha), I absolutely had to keep that line in there even though I tweaked it around some. It was too good and too fitting. It did lead up to a lot, which I didn't realise until I started getting reviews and then I was like "Whoops, that's right, he confessed his love for her and she rejected him." Guess that's pretty important. :p I'm glad I could give you feels, you know how pleased that makes me. Muahaha. And I'm very glad that she didn't, I was writing it out and I just couldn't even see the possibility of her throwing herself at him for having said that. She's grown too much, which is weird to say with how often I gripe about her personality to you.  
**Poodle warriors:** I think he'd definitely get that award. It was pretty lousy timing on his part to say the least - and no, nothing to eat yet.


	46. Like Grown Ups

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Marvel characters, you should surely realise this by now if you've read this far.

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**Chapter Forty-Six: Like Grown Ups**

"You let her go WHERE?!"

Tony held up his hands as the cop got to his feet, anger flashing across his face at the delivery of the news that Loki and Raleigh were together in Washington. He really didn't want to ask Thor to drag the kid out of the room; that could get ugly fast. The god of thunder had been rather touchy about the subject of Loki since their breakout, defending his adoptive brother to the other Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D., and anyone who dared to utter a negative remark about the other god. It wasn't like Thor didn't admit that Loki was a mixed bag, but it also had become a matter of "No one insults my brother except for me" with the god.

"Look, hot shot," he said to Fylan, "sit down and we can talk like grown ups." He motioned to the rolling chair that the young man had just leapt out of and lifted his eyebrows.

"You let him take her!" he shouted, his voice accusatory as he ignored Tony's suggestion. "What were you thinking?! He'll kill her and you'll -"

"Loki will not harm Raleigh," Thor cut him off and Tony internally flinched at the sound of the god's voice. He watched as Jim turned to look at the god, glaring, and Thor returned his stare, his eyes hard. "He cares for her."

If you had told Tony that over three weeks ago, he'd have laughed. But now, what choice did he have but to believe what the god was saying? Loki had gotten them out of that cell solely because of Raleigh. He'd kept up his end of the deal because of Raleigh. It was strange, but true. For some reason or another, the trickster god had grown soft when it came to the young woman and seemed to be wrapped around her little finger. He wasn't going to go as far as Thor had and say something outrageous like Loki _loved_ Raleigh, but he would give the guy the credit that he deserved. He cared about the girl and he wasn't going to let any harm come to her.

"You honestly can't believe this shit can you?" Jim demanded angrily, looking at the other members of the Alexander family in the hope that one of them might join in his fight.

The youngest - Tony was pretty sure his name was Ben, but he had never paid enough attention - looked like he was in shock still while William's sister, who had been introduced as Susan was sitting very still, her fingers resting on her lips as she stared off into space.

Veronica was dabbing her eyes with a tissue again, but whenever she paused she made an almost concentrated effort to glare across the table at the young man who was beside himself with anger. Tony almost wanted to know what the story was there, but he figured he could drag that out of William, or maybe even Raleigh, another day. Her partner, Frank, was watching Jim with his arms folded across his chest, his eyebrows raised in what Tony could only think was disbelief. He was a military man, Raleigh had said, which would have explained why he wasn't too thrilled with the way William himself wasn't even moving or speaking, which surprised Tony. He'd expected the patriarch of the family to be agreeing with the headstrong cop and to be demanding information from Tony and Thor, but he was sitting very still, his hands clenched into fists. And so long as he didn't hit Tony, things were okay.

"Can you?" Jim prompted, staring at William.

"Sit down, Jim," the man's voice was quiet and the order even surprised Tony.

"Sir -"

The older man's voice was cold and he didn't even turn to face the younger man as he said, "Jim, I didn't bring you to make an ass out of yourself and you're not going to make an ass out of me. Sit down and keep your mouth shut."

Damn.

Hadn't seen that one coming.

Jim's eyes grew wide and he began to lower himself back into his chair, gripping the arm rests in his hands. Out of the corner of Tony's eye he could see Thor smirking at the sight.

Tony took a careful step forward, clearing his throat, "Well, now that we're all calmed down and that excitement is over, we can get back to what we were discussing before."

Jim turned his head just enough to cast a wicked glare in Tony's direction, however he remained calm and Tony smiled at him. This was a little amusing actually; seeing how riled up the kid got at the idea of his ex-girlfriend running around with Loki was kind of worth it.

"As I was saying," Tony said, "Thor and I were returned to New York by Loki on the same night he took Raleigh out to Washington."

"Why would she have gone with him?" Veronica demanded, cutting into the conversation. "After everything that has happened, why wouldn't she come home? We're her family and -"

"And that's why she didn't want to come home," Tony said slowly. "She was worried that her family and friends would be put in jeopardy by her presence in New York."

"How so?" William asked as Susan's face clouded over at the idea. "What could happen to us if she came home?"

"The woman who is leading the attacks, Amora, wasn't really a fan of Raleigh," Tony said, looking to Thor for some support. The god knew a lot more about the subject than he did. He had no clue what that crazy bitch had going on with Loki, but she definitely took it out on Raleigh.

"What is that supposed to mean?" William asked, clearly doing his best to keep his voice controlled.

"Amora is infatuated with my brother," Thor said, answering for Tony. "She views Raleigh as a threat to any fantasy that she has regarding her prior relationship with Loki and likely plans to target Raleigh in order to cause him suffering and to ensure her own success. You would all be reasonable targets for her to attack if Raleigh were to return to either London or New York. I speak from personal experience when I say that she is ruthless and willing to do whatever is necessary to acquire what she most desires."

Veronica looked across the table at William, sharing a look, and then turned to Thor, saying in disbelief, "What you're telling me is that there is a psychotic woman, who is blowing up cities all over the world, that is jealous of my daughter because of your brother?"

"Yes," Thor nodded.

_"Oh."_ The woman leaned back in her seat, covering her eyes, and shook her head, "Well, this just can't get any better."

"Well, she's safe," Tony said, feeling the emptiness of the words. "And as soon as this is all finished, I have no doubt that Raleigh will be coming right back here to be with all of you."

"Is that why you've called us all here?" Frank asked curiously, breaking his silence for the first time.

"Not quite," Tony answered, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "We wanted to offer you the possibility of protection from S.H.I.E.L.D. due to your close ties to Raleigh. We don't have any way to predict what Amora will do and so we thought it might be a good idea to enlist some security for all of you."

"No," William shook his head, "absolutely not."

"William," Susan's voice was stern and he looked towards his sister with a fierce glare. "Don't turn this away."

Tony really had been hoping Fury would've done this, but spiteful as ever, the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. had told Tony that he and Thor could handle it, just as they handled Raleigh's safety so well. Fury really needed to stop trying to be witty, it wasn't working for him, and babysitting a very angry and dysfunctional family was _not _what Tony wanted to be doing right now.

He had other plans. Plans that didn't involve listening to two siblings quarrel over Ben or work and to an ex-wife hiss accusations across a conference table at her ex-husband - he was lucky enough to say that he'd never had the pleasure of experiencing _that_ firsthand. He was supposed to be on his private plane with Pepper going to Malibu for a quiet Thanksgiving. Amora and Thanos had been fairly quiet lately and while they all knew something big was coming after the fall of several other European cities across Germany, Italy, and France, he wasn't about to waste what could be his last Thanksgiving crunching numbers with Bruce in a lab. No, thank you.

He'd been tinkering on his suit for the last few weeks when he wasn't attending doctor's appointments (or the doctor wasn't coming to him for an appointment) and the rest of his time was spent in meetings with the other Avengers or out trying to save as many people as possible from the wreckage of the attacks. It was hell on earth. A nice, old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner with his girl, a bottle of red, and a couple of low budget indie films Pepper had been wanting to watch for ages was exactly what the doctor ordered. Well, maybe not exactly that, but the doctor had said to rest, eat, and drink plenty of fluids, which was basically the same thing.

After listening to the family - and Jim - argue for a good five minutes, Tony exchanged a bored look with Thor and whistled loudly, causing them to fall silent.

"Can we agree or not?" he asked them. When he was met with blank and angry stares, he sighed, "Look, this is a simple question. Not everyone has to opt into it, but it's a good idea."

"I think Benjamin should receive protection," Veronica said stiffly, leering across the table at William. "And that includes his home, William."

The man held up his hands, "Fine. Let them monitor my damn house then."

"Dad," Ben said quietly, "come on."

William ignored him and Susan piped up, "I, for one, would feel more comfortable knowing they were at the house, William. Benjamin and I are there far more often than you are. You'll be going away on business soon enough anyway."

Tony felt his brow furrow at the mention of a business trip and he frowned, clearing his throat lightly, "Where are you headed, Bill?"

"Brighton," he replied gruffly, "there was a conference in Hamburg but since the city is in such a bad way they moved it to the UK at the end of this month."

"Are they sure that's a good idea?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows. "Britain has been pretty safe and all, but that could change..."

William shook his head and Tony fell silent, waiting patiently as the other man said, "And if it does, we will relocate again. Relax, Tony, you're as bad as Susie."

Susan scowled at her brother, then turned to Tony, "Can you ensure that he will have a protective detail with him when he leaves for Brighton?"

"Only if he permits it," Tony told her, truthful.

"Well, I'm not permitting it. You can put a detail on everyone else in this room, but I'm not going to get held up at this conference by some CIA rejects you guys picked up. I've spent months working on the presentation I'm due to give and if I get held up by those TSA goons because you have some namby pamby undercover bozos tailing me, I'll give you hell for it, Stark."

Tony grimaced at the other businessman. He could see where Raleigh got her streak of stubbornness and stupidity with very little effort when faced with William in a predicament like this. How Loki dealt with that, he didn't know. Patience of a saint seemed absolutely necessary to deal with either of them.

"You're being an idiot, William," Veronica hissed across the table. "Think of your children, what if something happens?"

"I'm not going to let something like this scare me, Ronnie. I've made it through all the past terrorist attacks on this city - back in '93, then 9/11, and last May - and I'm not about to start running scared now. Besides, I'll be in Brighton. It's not London or Manchester or any of the other big cities. It'll work out fine."

"Hot shot, do you want protection?" Tony asked, directing his attention back to Jim, who simply stared back at him.

"What do you think?" he asked coolly, his meaning was perfectly clear from the expression he wore that screamed 'fuck off.'

"Yeah, I thought that would be your answer," Tony said, turning away from him. "So that's that then, you can go. I can't answer any questions you may have due to the classified nature of the subject matter, so don't even try. They'd shoot me or something."

He watched as Jim and William stood first. The cop seized his coat from the back of his seat as well as a small rucksack that he had carried into the room and swung it over his shoulder. He placed a hand on Ben's shoulder, steering the teenager out of the conference room ahead of William, who paused to shake Tony's hand.

He nodded to Tony as they clasped hands, "Thanks, Tony, I appreciate it."

"Just trying to do the right thing here," he replied quietly. "Raleigh would want me to do this anyway."

"You hear anything from her?" he asked curiously.

Tony shook his head, "No, but Loki pops in from time to time and they seem to be doing okay. She hasn't exactly tried killing him yet which I'm taking as a good sign. Thor tells me it's a very good sign."

William laughed quietly, bitterly, and then said, "Well, make sure she gets home in one piece. It's one thing to do something she wants but I don't want it to be done in her memory or something like that."

"I understand and I won't let anything happen to her," Tony said with a nod.

William nodded in reply and then lifted a hand to Thor, waving to the god. He then turned and walked from the conference room after the two young men that had already exited. Veronica and Frank left next, each nodding politely to Tony and asking if they should expect a call to know when their detail had arrived.

"You don't need to know they're there," he said, shaking his head at them, "and I'm pretty sure they'd like it a lot better if you didn't. But they'll be there within the day."

Veronica nodded slowly and extended her hand, taking Tony's in her own, "Thank you," she said quietly. "Raleigh was very lucky to have both of you with her."

"Thank you," Tony replied, lamely. He shot Thor a look over his shoulder, hoping the god could pawn their attentions elsewhere, and as if on cue, Thor stepped forward towards the small cluster. Veronica immediately shrank back, no doubt wondering if Thor was similar to his brother, and the god of thunder smiled at her warmly.

"Have a nice day, Veronica, Frank," Tony said, watching as Veronica took Frank's arm and began to pull him from the room. He looked back at Thor, smirking. "Nice job there, she looked like she was about to have a heart attack."

Thor nodded, "She seems to be...difficult."

"That's putting it nicely," Susan said bitingly as she appeared in front of them. She looked between Tony and Thor expectantly and Tony felt strangely awkward under her gaze. She wasn't very big, perhaps average height with greying jet black hair that was reminiscent of her brother's and a set of clear blue eyes that felt far too probing to be on a nearly sixty year old woman. She carried a small tote bag over her shoulder which appeared to house several balls of yarn and knitting needles as well as a craft book.

Raleigh hadn't ever mentioned Susan, but William had, numerous times, and Tony knew that there was no getting around her. She was supposedly as sharp as a tack and had worked at a university in Boston teaching art or something equally fluffy. Tony really didn't give a damn, but she was now standing in his way and forcing him to put off his Thanksgiving for a little bit longer.

"Can we help you?" he asked her, trying to remain pleasant.

"I don't know," she returned, her tone acerbic, "can you get my niece back?"

"When everything is settled, Raleigh will be back. But she's a big girl and can make her own decisions," Tony said, a little bit of condescension leaking into his voice now.

Susan's eyes narrowed and she instead turned to Thor, saying, "So he's one of yours?"

"Pardon?" Thor sounded genuinely confused.

"The madman that's got Raleigh with him."

Thor's face clouded slightly and he sounded mildly flustered as he said, "Loki is an Asgardian and my brother."

"I understand that your culture must be slightly more archaic, but you hardly have need to call a man that killed thousands of people a brother of yours."

"No," Tony said, holding up his hands, "they really are. He's just Thor here's adopted little brother."

"Oh, for the love of God," she sighed, shaking her head. "Are there any other surprises you're not telling us, Stark? Are they royalty, too?"

"Well," Tony exchanged a look with Thor, "if you want the truth..."

"Lovely," Susan said dryly. She spared Thor a brief once over and then said, "If he's anything at all like you, perhaps he isn't all that bad."

"Well, they're nothing alike so I wouldn't venture that far," Tony said quietly earning a reproachful look from the thunder god. "Sorry, pal."

"Loki has had his troubles, but as I have already said," Thor told Susan, "he will never bring harm to Raleigh. She is safe with him and he cares for her. The man that you saw last year was not the brother than I loved, but another, one far more monstrous. However, I have hope for him due to his relationship with Raleigh. She is good for him. I see parts of him that I have not in many moons when they have been together and she has eased many of his troubles from his mind. He would not dare to harm her and he will return her to you and your kin, of this I am certain."

Susan stared at him, her eyes glinting, and then she nodded. "I'm taking your word as a promise, you know."

"And you may do that," he replied quietly as he bowed his head to her.

Susan turned back to Tony, "I don't care what my idiot brother said, put a detail on all of us, including him. I'm his next of kin, I ought to have some leeway with these S.H.I.E.L.D. people. After all, if we aren't going to know who they are or where they are, that's fine and dandy, he'll never know the difference if your guys are as good as they say they are."

"I don't know if you're in a position to make those demands, Susan," Tony told her curtly.

"I'm his sister and I'm in that house with him. If he's going to try endangering his son's or my life with his pigheaded pride, then he's got another thing coming. I know better than he does and what he doesn't know, won't hurt him."

She shouldered her tote bag and spared the door a glance to make sure no one had overheard their conversation, then looked between the two men. She reached out, patting Thor's arm, and said kindly, "Have a lovely holiday, dear." She turned back to Tony, her disposition hardening immediately, "Stark."

He nodded, grimacing at her, "Susan."

She turned away without another word and stalked out of the room, clutching her knitting bag under her arm. Thor looked down at Tony who was staring after her and smiled, "She seems far less difficult than Veronica."

Tony snorted loudly. If only that were the case.

* * *

"Thanksgiving is tomorrow," I said as Loki walked into the kitchen, tossing the daily newspaper down onto the table. He turned, lifting an eyebrow at me, and I sighed quietly, remembering that he didn't know what the holiday was. "It's an American holiday that happens annually to celebrate the arrival of the first settlers who survived on the continent."

_"How...quaint,"_ he replied stiffly before turning away.

I ignored the condescension that was dripping from each word and carried on, pretending that he had been more enthusiastic about the subject than he really was, "Yeah, well, you're supposed to make a big dinner and celebrate it with your family and friends. It's to give thanks for all that you've had in the past year, really."

"Somehow, I highly doubt a society as materialistic as your America is truly celebrating all that they have to be thankful for in the past year," Loki quipped over his shoulder as he headed for the sofa.

"Well, no," I frowned, heading after him as I abandoned my cereal on the countertop. "Most people just eat a big meal and watch football. But some people are, I'm sure."

"Such as you?"

I reddened as he turned to look at me, lifting one eyebrow curiously and stammered, "Well, no, I-I'm pretty rubbish at it and I always have been, but there are other people who are, I'd bet."

He smirked at me and my blush only deepened as I understood his unspoken mocking, but before I could reply he said, "I presume you wish to have a Thanksgiving then?"

I nodded once, "Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Well, I don't know how to cook a turkey and we don't have stuffing or anything so we'd have to go to town."

"Make a list, I'll get what you need," he said, waving me off.

"Can't I come with you?" I asked him, my voice giving away a little too much of my hopefulness.

He looked up at me as he flopped down on the sofa and snorted, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "Why are you in such a good mood, Raleigh?"

I shrugged, saying lamely, "No particular reason, I guess I just like the idea of getting out for a day. Plus, I mean, you've been really nice about picking me up some clothes but none of them fit and I think I could do with a bit of shopping."

He was quiet for a few moments, watching the television as the newscaster recapped the events of the last day, and I could feel myself beginning to grow flustered at his ignoring my request when he finally glanced up at me, saying, "Fine, go get ready. We'll leave as soon as the news has finished."

I smiled at him, then hurried past him and into the bedroom to find a clean set of clothes to wear out. I could hear the sound of Loki chuckling behind me as I shut the door and smirked, satisfied to have won that battle. It was a start, if anything.

* * *

I wrapped my hands around the coffee cup that held a small tea bag and looked up at Loki who was still inspecting his menu closely. His brow was furrowed deeply and he was frowning just the slightest as he read through the list of foods offered by the diner.

"You okay?" I asked him curiously, raising my eyebrows when he glanced up at me.

He nodded, rubbing his jaw, and said, "Fine, just puzzled by the sound of some of this. Asgard does not have anything like," he paused, searching the menu for a moment before he looked up at me, _"au jus?"_

"It's like a little sauce that comes with steaks and stuff for dipping," I explained to him. "You'd probably like it."

"Hmm," he returned to his menu, reading it over again before he finally set it down on top of my own. "What are you having?"

"A burger and fries," I said shortly, before adding, "diners usually make really good burgers."

He nodded along, eyeing the menu again, then said, "I'll have the same."

I resisted the urge to laugh and simply smirked at him, watching as his picked up his water, sipping it slowly. We'd been to town and back already, gathering up a small turkey from the grocery's freezer, which was pure luck to have found since all the grocery stores were practically empty it seemed, as well as a box of preprepared stuffing, a box of yellow gravy mix, and potatoes. Loki had, of course, insisted upon buying wine and had ventured off to find some obnoxiously overpriced bottle of red wine which he bought with the rest of our meal.

After returning all of it to the cabin, we'd found ourselves to be completely opposed to the idea of cooking anything the night before the holiday, which I'd already assured him would be nothing but a day of cooking and me failing to prepare anything properly, and so we had ventured out to a local diner. It was a quaint little place, with white tiled floors and obnoxiously bright red leather booths. The menus called out in annoyingly large print with bright graphics illustrating the name '_Fine Diner'_ across the top of the pages.

It was an amusing little name, which Loki had immediately, and true to form, wrinkled his nose at. He'd complained rather quietly to me upon entering the small restaurant that it certainly didn't live up to its name. Since then, he'd remained relatively quiet about the place and had simply asked for a water when the waitress arrived, which was impressive since I'd expected him to insult the poor girl outright when she'd been busy chattering away in his ear and attempting to flirt with him.

"Not getting much socialisation outside of the cabin, are you?" I asked him as he looked out of the window and peered across the street at the forest line.

He turned to look at me, his lips curving slightly upwards, and replied, "I suppose that I'm not."

I looked back down at my tea, smiling slightly, and spooned at the tea bag for a few moments until our waitress returned. She was about my age and had already chatted to Loki, who was blatantly uninterested, about how she was attending the University of Seattle for nursing and was home on Thanksgiving holidays. It was a little bit weird to see someone else flirt with him after all this time and it left a strange, sour taste in my mouth to watch another woman fawn all over him and so eagerly at that.

Part of me wondered if she had any inkling as to who he was. If she did, she certainly didn't seem to care and was hardly phased by it, which caused me to dislike her a little more. He'd raised a few eyebrows when we stepped out earlier in the day and one man had been bold enough to say that he resembled the guy who 'blew up half of New York' while waiting in line for our groceries to be checked out.

Loki had stiffened at the remark and grimaced, but forced a rather convincing laugh and had replied wryly that he heard the comparison drawn often and that his own mother had made a few remarks upon his appearance, chiefly how he 'needed a haircut.' The man had seemed satisfied and laughed at the anecdote, for he chatted merrily with the two of us for the rest of our time in the shop. He'd even walked with us out of the market, mentioning his grandchildren driving up with their parents from Seattle, before he climbed into a pickup truck and wished us both a happy Thanksgiving holiday and for the Seahawks to win.

He'd been strangely quiet since then, mostly speaking to me and ignoring anyone who smiled or nodded in our direction, including our waitress, who was very eager to vie for his affections.

She smiled sweetly at Loki as she hovered at the side of our table, asking curiously, "Have we decided?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and when Loki gave me an inviting look, I piped up, "I'll have the cheeseburger and fries, thanks."

The girl nodded, jotting this down, and then looked back to Loki, who said, "I'll have the same."

"Okay, and how do you want your burger done?" she asked, looking up at him when she finished the notation.

He eyed me, his look confused, before he said slowly, "Er, cooked?"

The waitress smiled and began to giggle, "You're funny."

Loki's brow furrowed and I quickly cut in, saying, "Medium well for both of us with American cheese, please."

She looked over at me, noting this, and then stole a furtive glance at Loki who was still looking slightly puzzled about the exchange, "Is that all?"

He nodded, "Yes. That's it."

She turned away slowly as she nodded, still looking at him, and then walked away to put our order in with the kitchen.

I waited until I was certain that she was out of earshot and then said, "She just loves you, doesn't she?"

The furrow in Loki's brow deepened as he turned to look at me, "Is that the slightest hint of annoyance I hear in your voice, Raleigh?"

I grimaced, looking away from him and out the window. I could really have done with a cigarette right then. Loki had watched me buy a pack of Marlboros while we got our groceries and tutted at me for the entire duration of one smoke, forcing me to leave the pack at the bottom of my bag for the last several hours.

"I'm going to go have a fag," I said, reaching for my bag. I could feel his stare on me as I moved, his look judgmental, and I made a face at him as I pulled back, clutching the green and white pack in my hand. "What?"

"It's not a very attractive habit, you know."

I rolled my eyes, "I care so much right now, I really do."

Loki got to his feet with me and pulled his coat on, "You'll taste like ashes."

"What are you doing?" I asked, frowning at him as I ignored the old adage. He was walking in step with me towards the door and I lifted my eyebrows expectantly when he didn't immediately reply.

"Keeping you company," he said shortly. He spared a glance towards the bar where the waitress was watching the two of us closely, "I'm hardly in the mood to make friends."

"You having friends is a bit foreign," I agreed as I pushed the door open and left the diner to walk outside. The chilly, late November air hit the two of us in a blast as we left the warmth of the restaurant and walked down the narrow and uneven walkway towards the parking lot.

Loki ignored my quip, instead saying, "She bothered you."

"Hardly," I sneered over my shoulder at him as I struck the pack of cigarettes against my wrist with a little more force than I'd anticipated. The entire subject was annoying but he wasn't about to let it go. This was too much for him, he loved this kind of thing.

"You're smoking, I should think something has happened to bother you," he said calmly while tucking his hands into his pockets.

I pulled a cigarette out of the pack and placed it between my lips, scowling, "What are you?" I asked him, "Dr. Phil?"

"It is merely an observation, Raleigh. You've never smoked in front of me before."

"Yeah, well, maybe it has to do with this whole alien invasion thing," I shot back, beginning to grow defensive, "did you ever think of that?"

It was now his turn to roll his eyes. "You do realise that you can't continue using that as an excuse every time you're bothered, don't you?"

I ignored him, instead struggling with the lighter in the hopes that I might get the tip to spark. I let out an irritated sigh when he suddenly reached out, taking the lighter from me, and flicked it, lighting the flame. He held it in front of the tip of my cigarette, watching me with narrowed eyes as I leaned forward, steadying the cigarette between my fingers as I lit the end.

I inhaled, the smoke filling my lungs and the menthol soaking into my mouth as I pulled back from him. He relaxed his thumb on the lighter, extinguishing the flame, and extended it to me in silence. He was waiting for my answer still.

I took another drag on the cigarette before I removed it from my lips and flicked a bit of ash off the end. I stared down at the ground for a few moments, allowing a cold gust of wind to whip my hair around my face. Finally, I looked up at him, lifting the cigarette back to my lips as I said, "I realise that."

"You're incorrigible," he said, rubbing his face wearily.

"So says the pot to the kettle," I returned, puffing on the cigarette for a few moments. He and I stood in silence for a few minutes, our backs hunched to the cold as the wind billowed around us, and I began to wonder if I was better off admitting that the waitress was annoying me with her attentiveness to Loki.

It wasn't really like I had a right to be annoyed though. Our relationship was battered and, at least in my mind, was far from being anywhere near perfect or healed; we weren't anything to one another. Well, to me. He was apparently in love with me in some way. But that didn't mean I had any more of a right to be possessive or jealous of him receiving affections than he did with me and another man. We were nothing.

But we were, in a strange way, becoming friends again. Since the conversation I had had with him on the porch the night of the Hamburg attacks, we'd discussed most things at great length regarding the past year and the future; it had become a very open dialogue suddenly. We were surprisingly amicable with one another since that conversation and had spent hours of together, usually watching the news, but sometimes playing card games. He taught me several Asgardian gambling games while I taught him to play Rummy and War. There was a dry humour to most of our exchanges and a pleasant, mocking tone when we chided one another.

In a way, it would have been wrong of me to deny him the truth when everything else between us had become so open. If it were the other way around, he would have already said something. Perhaps because his feelings were different, but still, the fact remained.

"She gets on my nerves a bit," I admitted to him as I flicked another bit of ash away.

Loki glanced at me, "Excuse me?"

"The waitress," I clarified, taking another drag of the cigarette. "She gets on my nerves a bit." I exhaled a mouthful of smoke, then looked up to find he was not smirking or giving me a gloating look, but simply staring at me, his expression unreadable.

"How?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. She just keeps fawning all over you and ignoring me like I'm not even there. I mean, for all she knows we could be -"

He lifted his eyebrows as I broke off, quickly replacing the cigarette which I took a few long drags of. We both knew what I had been on the verge of saying.

"We could be in a relationship?" he suggested calmly.

I shrugged again, "Yeah, I guess." When the corners of his lips quirked, I added, "I mean, it's not that I'm jealous or anything, it's just frustrating because it's rude."

"No, it is rude," he agreed. "It's quite unbecoming behaviour."

"Yeah. And annoying."

He was quiet, watching as I continued to smoke my cigarette for a few moments, then said, "You'd be opposed to the idea, wouldn't you?"

I looked over at him, knowing right away that he meant the idea of a relationship. "I think there's been a bit too much bad blood between us for anything good to happen," I admitted to him, truthful. It was a conversation I'd been dreading. I'd been hopeful that he would understand, that it would be obvious there was little chance of reciprocity on my part after everything that had transpired, and I'd hoped that he would simply leave the subject alone. It was enough that I cared about him, wasn't it?

He nodded, looking away, "I understand."

"Friends, though," I said before I could stop myself. "That's a relationship."

Loki looked at me, his eyes meeting my own, and I immediately felt foolish. I didn't know why I'd felt compelled to offer him some sort of comforting or hopeful words on the heels of rejection, but I had. And it was stupid of me to have tried. I shrank back under his hard gaze and looked away quickly, feeling the heat rush to my face.

When I looked back up at him, just finishing my cigarette, he was looking away once again, and I continued on lamely, hoping to possibly recover from the gaffe, "All I meant is that it's a start."

His voice was curt, "You needn't try comforting me, Raleigh."

"I'm not," I said defensively as I tossed the last of my cigarette onto the ground. I pressed the toe of my sneaker into the butt and pushed down, forcing the embers out. I looked up at him, frowning deeply. "I'm not, Loki."

He ignored me, gesturing towards the diner, "Shall we?"

Unbelievable. He was being such a child. I hadn't said the exact words he wanted to hear and had tried being nice only for him to turn me away. He suddenly didn't want this conversation which was preposterous. If I was willingly talking about this and being nice, we were going to keep talking about it until I was finished.

I shook my head at him, "No, let's finish this conversation."

He groaned softly, "Raleigh, I'm hungry. Let's go have our dinner inside where it's warm. You'll catch a chill."

I held my ground. "Why do we have to do things your way?" I demanded as he began to walk back down the narrow sidewalk towards the door.

Loki stopped, turning to look at me, and motioned towards the diner. "Come along, Raleigh. Let's not make a scene."

"No one is making a scene, Loki," I retorted. "I'm not screaming and neither are you. We're talking like grown ups so come on, let's finish this."

He waved me off, "I hardly have the patience for your excuses, Raleigh. If you need me, I'll be inside."

_"Excuse me?"_ my voice went up an octave and I took a few steps forward after him as he began to head for the door again. "My _what?!"_

He turned back to face me, "Your excuses, Raleigh. Don't act stupid; it's just as unbecoming as flirting with someone else's partner."

I ground my teeth together, forcing myself to remain calm. He was attempting to wind me up just to prove a point: we couldn't talk about this like adults.

"Don't compare that to this," I snapped at him. "Just because I'm not reciprocating your feelings word for word doesn't mean you should get to poke my buttons and tell me when we're done talking."

"As far as I am concerned, this conversation is finished," he said shortly.

"You're doing it again!" I cried out in frustration, "There's two of us involved in this. It's not just you or even all about you! I have a right to say what I want to!"

"And what will you say, Raleigh?" he demanded, rounding on me. He took a few quick strides to where I stood, his voice growing louder as he carried on, "That you don't want to be involved with me because of my sins? Because of what terror I have wrought upon your planet? That now isn't the time or place because there are more pressing matters to attend to? That you simply don't know how you feel?"

"We _do_ have more pressing matters to attend to than whether or not you and I are interested in sleeping with each other exclusively!" I said hotly, "We're not just some normal couple, Loki! We're not hiding out in some cabin in the woods because we're scared for our safety, we're there because we've endangered everyone else's safety!"

He snorted, "You are a coward, Raleigh. You can be possessive and jealous when another woman has the audacity to slight you and place you beneath me, but when I dare to suggest that we solidify whatever has been between us, you shrink back and cry about danger."

"I'm not possessive and I'm not jealous!"

"Yet you find it annoying when she fawns over me?" he demanded. "You feel things and you are far too cowardly and childish to accept those feelings for what they are. Grow up, Raleigh."

I reddened furiously, "I'm not a coward and I'm not childish! All I'm saying is that we've had too much shit go down between us to have any sort of stable relationship. You're the one that's being childish and blowing this out of proportion."

"There are no absolutes," he growled at me. "You are a coward because you are not willing to chance the failure and you are child because you are unwilling to acknowledge or accept your own emotions."

Before I could reply, he turned on his heel, stalking back into the diner. I stared at his retreating figure, rooted to my spot, and breathed deeply, glancing around to find that we had drawn some attention from inside the restaurant. A few people had been watching us out the window interestedly now turned back to their meals or left their gazes lingering upon me as I stood in the cold. It was embarrassing to know that we had quickly become entertainment for the other travellers and diners in the restaurant, who would no doubt consider our interaction to be some kind of lover's quarrel.

I'd even called us a couple in the heat of the moment. I'd said we weren't by any means a _normal_ couple, like it was already confirmed even though every part of me rallied against the idea. I didn't love him, of that I was certain, but there was a part of me that was overly fond of him and I knew it. He'd freed me from captivity, protected me on numerous occasions, and kept me alive and, for the most part, safe from Amora's wrath. He'd done things which were reprehensible in the past, things I didn't know if I could ever forgive, but he'd been remorseful. He acknowledged his faults, he openly admitted to being bad and to having many sins to atone for, but I was still holding the grudge against him.

It wasn't cowardly to act as I was, nor was it childish. I was being responsible and rational for the first time in all of this. I was making effort to not become overly attached or to become emotional. When the time came, either one of us could be killed by Amora or Thanos in London. It was far more likely that it would be me, but that hardly mattered. One of us could be dead before the end of the year.

I slowly began to walk back to the diner, my mind whirring away as I attempted to rationalise away all of Loki's spiteful and petty little remarks. He was wrong. I was right. I was positive that I was right. I was being the smarter one between the two of us, he was the one that was letting emotion cloud his judgment. If it were different and our roles were reversed, he'd be doing the same thing that I was. But was it really so smart and so _great_ to do what Loki would have?

I pushed open the door of the diner, feeling the gaze of several patrons as I turned and headed towards my seat. I looked up to see that our waitress was back at the table, having delivered our food, and felt my stomach clench at the sight of Loki speaking to her politely. I continued though, the bitterness only growing with each step towards the booth, and I found myself compelled to walk to his side of the booth instead my own.

He stopped mid-sentence and looked up at me as I hovered there. I didn't know what I was doing and I prayed he didn't ask me. My tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of my mouth and my hands were strangely clammy.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was being foolish.

"Raleigh..." he began in a warning tone, his lips pressing into a thin line. He shook his head at me just the slightest, trying to deter me from continuing our fight. He didn't want a scene and neither did I.

I leaned forward before I could stop myself and kissed him.

* * *

_**A/N:** Whew, well, this was a long one. I don't know exactly what to say about it, but you can probably cue some really cheesy love songs in preparation for the next chapter, which ought to be up within the week, assuming I don't just tear it to pieces and decide it's utter rubbish. But whatevs._

_As a clarification point, I'd just like to make sure I clear up which characters are which as I know Raleigh's family can be a little complicated to get through since her parents are divorced and all. _

_**Important to Note:** Veronica is Raleigh's birth mother and was previously married to William Alexander, Raleigh's biological father. She was born and raised in the UK, as was her new husband and childhood friend, Frank. Therefore, Frank is Raleigh's stepfather. He also resides in the UK (Cambridge, with Veronica). William, her father, lives in New York and has custody of Ben, her younger brother. His sister is Susan, who is from Boston. That sounds like a mouthful so I'm sorry. I just wanted to be sure I clarified all of this in case anyone was a tad confused._

_**Tl;dr:** William and Veronica = Raleigh and Ben's mother and father; Frank = Raleigh and Ben's stepfather_

_All that aside, thank you to anyone who read and reviewed or anyone who followed or favoured this story (or, more shockingly, me). Very nice of you._

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Loki'sdreamer:** You and I both, he can't quite catch a break.  
**Poodle warriors:** It definitely, definitely did. It was really necessary for them, I think.  
**CharmiaArkenstone:** Thank you! That's always meant a lot to hear and it still does. It was one of my pet peeves and something I set out to ensure did not happen in this story. So I'm always really flattered and proud to hear that it hasn't. Thank you.  
**Dreams of Shadows:** I like to think it's interesting, too. :)  
**Hailey-Stone:** Feels everywhere! I can only imagine what your current state is. lol.  
**Mija:** Very nice indeed. Thank you!  
**NoVacancyMind:** Thank you! haha. :)  
**Ellize Avalon:** Yeah, I just clarified about the whole Raleigh's parents thing up above, so hopefully that will help. I realise that her family is a little bit complicated to follow since they aren't a constant fixture, so I'd just want to clarify in case there's any confusion. :) Sadly, no Jenny. :( Perhaps later on. I liked that part (with Loki comparing Jim and Raleigh to he and Amora) as well, I think it makes their relationship much easier to understand. I also think that that heart to heart was really necessary for them to begin healing their relationship and building up to the point where they're now at where emotions are coming into question. There isn't forgiveness yet, I don't think that'll come for a while yet. Maybe by the end of this, but maybe not. We'll see. I'll endeavour to post regularly yet, but just might go down to once a week again.  
**Dontgotaclue88:** Yes, indeed. Fingers crossed.  
**Purplenurpl**: Thanks! I'm quite looking forward to it. :D And thank you again, hopefully that'll be on the horizon sometime soon.  
**The13thConspiracy: (18)** Raleigh has her difficult moments. It's definitely not just you. Anyway, that said, thank you. Loki will definitely infuriate you all the more as the story progresses. :)  
**Time Lady 945:** Thanks :) I'm quite pleased with the pacing right now and how it's progressing. All of the conversation between the two of them is definitely helping their relationship with one another.


	47. Evening's Shadow

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any Marvel characters, just the Original Characters and the Plot.

*There is an important note at the foot of this chapter. Please read.

* * *

**Chapter Forty-Seven: Evening's Shadow**

"What was that?"

I shook my head at him, quickly turning away, and made for the kitchen sink. I needed to drink something, to grip the countertop for support, anything to get my mind off of what I'd done. I'd been trembling through our entire meal, unsure of where the kiss I'd given him had come from. What had possessed me to be so stupid? It was completely wrong, completely against everything I'd been saying and doing. I couldn't dwell upon it or even consider the idea that I wanted to do it _again. _

"Raleigh," Loki's voice was quieter now and he slowly approached where I stood, standing a few feet behind me while I filled a glass with water.

"I don't want to talk about it."

He sighed and watched as I hurriedly downed my glass of water before filling another. He remained where he stood, watching me closely. I could see him frowning in the reflection of the window and felt my stomach sink. What had I done?

"You can't simply ignore it," he told me.

"I think I can," I retorted, rubbing my face wearily. I turned to look at him, pleading, "I really don't want to talk about it, okay? Can we leave it alone?"

His frown deepened.

"Please, Loki."

He sighed, but then nodded, turning away from me and walked across the cabin to the sofa where he planted himself. He turned on the news, increasing the volume to a pitch that I certainly would not be able to speak over, and fixed his eyes upon the set. I ground my teeth together, noting the act, and then left my glass on the counter as I walked forward.

"You're angry with me, really?" I asked him, lifting my voice enough for him to hear.

He ignored me.

"Loki," I stepped in front of the television, feeling my temper prickle, "can you stop blowing this out of proportion already? It was an accident. It's nothing. Let's move on."

He picked up the remote, pointing it around me, and turned the volume up again, drowning me out all too pointedly.

I reddened as I continued to stand before him, my hands placed firmly on my hips as I waited for him to respond. However he stared straight ahead, almost as if he were looking through me at the television, and I began to grow angrier as the time passed. This was outrageous.

"You honestly have the audacity to call me a child when you're acting like this?" I demanded, leaning forward. I snatched the remote from his hands and turned, muting the television. I turned back to him to find that he was glaring at me.

"Raleigh, give me the remote."

"No," I shook my head, "why are you angry? There's literally no reason I can think of for why you should be angry."

"Would you just turn the damn sound back on?" he snarled, making a move for the remote. I stepped back, holding the controller tight in my hand as I stretched my arm out behind myself.

"Tell me why you're angry and I'll give you the remote," I told him as he stood, drawing himself up to full height so that he seemingly towered above me.

His voice was strained, "Give. Me. It."

"Tell me," I repeated myself. "We've been open about everything else, why can't we talk about why you're suddenly mad at me?"

"Because it ought to be obvious why I'm angry, Raleigh," he spat. "I'm in love with you."

"I know," my voice was quiet. "I know you are."

"And that is why I am angry," he said as he extended his hand for the remote, his look expectant.

"Because you love me you're angry?" I lifted my eyebrows. "I don't get it. What do you mean?"

"I gave you the answer, now give me the remote. I did not grant you more than that question."

"Hang on!" I said, stepping back again when he made another move for the television control, "Why won't you explain it?"

"You have no desire to discuss this, you said as much yourself," he said, scowling at me. "Please give me the remote."

I faltered, my blush deepening at his words, "No, no, I meant I didn't want to talk about that - that kiss, that's all."

"They go hand in hand, Raleigh," he replied.

"I'm sorry," I said meekly. I lifted my eyes to meet his and found a steely gaze greeting me. I swallowed deeply and forced myself to speak, "Look, I don't know what I was thinking when I did that. I don't think I was thinking at all. I was just upset and jealous and I wanted to prove a point -"

"What point could you possibly be proving?" he demanded, cutting me off.

"I..." I shrugged lamely, genuinely unsure of what point I'd wanted to make besides that he was _mine_. "I don't know."

He sighed heavily and shook his head at me, "This conversation is going nowhere, just as it always is. Give me the remote, Raleigh. I'd just like to watch the news now."

"I just want to know why you're angry, Loki, why can't you tell me that?" I asked, lowering my hand back to my side. "I mean, I'm sorry for what I did, it was stupid and I -"

"Oh, would you shut up?!" he hissed at me as he clutched at the side of his head in frustration. "This is exactly why I am angry, Raleigh. Because you behave in this way - you don't know what you want and are far too apathetic to care about anyone or anything for longer than a few, meaningless seconds! I have already told you that I don't know why I love you, how many more times must I repeat it, expound upon it, before you understand that there is no way I can fully rationalise and justify my feelings for you?!"

I stared at him, then set my jaw, "That's not true!"

He rolled his eyes, sneering at me, "Which part, Raleigh? Tell me which part isn't true, bestow upon me your Midgardian wisdom and -"

"Knock it off!" I told him, my voice going up. "I didn't ask for you to start acting like a dick for no reason." He scowled at me, but waited, listening as I carried on, "I _do _know what I want, you know, I just don't share it with you or anyone else for that matter."

He lifted his eyebrows and waved his hands at me in a beckoning motion, "Yes? Go on, I'm _listening."_

I glared at him, catching the mocking note in his voice, and then said, "I...I want you. Okay? Are you happy?" I watched as his eyes narrowed and could feel my stomach knot with apprehension as I waited for his response. It wasn't a lie, after all. I hadn't said I _loved _him, which would have been a lie; no, I'd said that I _wanted_ him, which was entirely different and far from being a lie.

"Is this supposed to please me?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows.

My temper broke and I started forward, taking my original place in front of the coffee table once more, "What do you want me to say?!" I demanded angrily. "That I'm in love with you, too? I can't say that because that's a lie. But I know that I at least want you, that I like you. I like what we have here, how we can be friends and comfortable and civil with each other and I've always found you attractive, you already know that."

He snorted, folding his arms across his chest, "Charming, Raleigh. Do go on, I'm enraptured."

I ignored his snark, saying, "Look, I don't know why I want you, but I do. There isn't a half decent reason for me to have kissed you today or to want to do it again, all right? I just do and I can't explain why because after everything that's happened, I should hate you. I have all the rights in the world to hate you and I don't. And that's frustrating and I don't get it, but I don't and I like you, all right? I like you and I want you and -"

His kiss was gentle and it caught me off guard, forcing me to swallow my words as I closed my eyes and reached out, my fingers knotting in his hair to steady myself as he embraced me from across the coffee table. The kiss was tender and slow, gradually building from just the lightest of affections to a more passionate, deeper kiss that consumed me. He reached out, plucking the television remote from my hand, and for a moment I expected him to pull away, making a smart ass remark to mock me and my desires, but instead I heard the quiet _thump _of the control landing on the cushions and his hand rose to cup the side of my face.

His tongue traced lightly across my lower lip and I felt as though my knees were about to give out from beneath me. I pulled him closer, kissing him hungrily, and brushed the tip of my tongue against his own. It was painfully awkward to kiss him like this, knowing that there was a coffee table stopping me from moving any closer, and almost as if he sensed or even shared this feeling, he gave a noticeable flick of the wrist and I felt the pressure of the wood vanish from against my shins.

Loki wrapped an arm around my middle as he stepped closer, holding me tightly, and I pressed my body nearer to his own, my teeth scraping over his lower lip gently. He let out a short breath, his hand spreading across my back, and I smiled against his lips as he kissed me again, greedier than before.

This was hardly the god that had come into the bookshop all those months ago, hardly the god that had selfishly seduced me into his bed and hurt me, the god that had left me and toyed with me. Everything up until this point had been a calculated move on his part, everything but these last few weeks. That hadn't been calculated. I had prevented the rest of his plan, whatever it was.

He had freed Thor and even Tony and then he had protected me by taking me into hiding to shield me from the ire of Amora and Thanos. Perhaps he had been disagreeable, perhaps I had found myself wary around him initially, but now I could hardly be certain of what I felt.

"We shouldn't," I whispered against his lips as he broke our kiss for a moment to catch his breath. "This is foolish and we can't -"

"We can," he breathed, kissing me again. He broke our kiss after a few moments, continuing on, "One night, Raleigh. Should I perish in due time, I do not wish to allow my final memories of you to be this alone - I wish to know you a final time. I ask that you allow us more for this night alone, no more than that. Please."

I opened my eyes, staring at him as my chest rose and fell against his own, my heart beating wildly and out of sorts. I felt flushed, hot to the touch, and I could feel my breath catch in my throat as I looked up at him.

The way he was staring at me, his eyes wide, shining in the soft light of the living room, left me feeling oddly warmed. I felt full, elated, a million different things in a fraction of a second. Even if I wanted to hate him, I loved him in this moment.

It was a fleeting love, one I was certain I would not feel again by the first sign of daylight, but it was enough to allow me to cast aside my doubts. It was enough to allow me to trust him and to believe, even if it was for just a moment, that he might offer safety and comfort in his arms. A second was all I needed, after all.

A single, brilliant second was all I needed to make this decision and to throw any caution I had left to the wind, for I had nothing to lose and only something to gain. With that thought, I tilted my head back just enough and cupped his face in my hands, pulling him towards me.

Loki moved his lips agains my own slowly and his fingers sifted through my hair as he held me. He broke our kiss again, his thumb running across my cheek lightly, and I opened my eyes to meet his gaze.

"I love you," he breathed against my lips.

I nodded, smiling at him, and stroked his hair gently, "I know."

He didn't falter this time, but instead bowed his head, kissing me deeply. Resting a hand upon his chest, I gently traced his lower lip with the tip of my tongue. His own tongue darted forward, lightly touching mine, and I could feel my stomach clench, want pushing me closer to him as I held tight, fisting a handful of his hair.

When Loki finally broke our kiss, his teeth offered gentle love bites upon my lips and his hand slid lower, cupping my bum through my jeans. In a single movement, he lifted me into the air, holding me aloft in his arms, and I hesitated, surprised at the act. It was reminiscent of that first time, the time that harboured such terrible memories. He began to carry me from the living room then and into the bedroom that I'd claimed as mine, his hands cupping my rear as he kissed me again, more aggressively this time.

I pulled at the buttons of his shirt, feeling the heavy material beneath my palms as I moved to loosen the button nearest to his throat. My fingers were clumsy, my mind focused not upon the small plastic fastenings, but rather the way he groped my bum and how I could feel the hard muscle of his body beneath my hands, however I eventually pulled them open and worked my way down to create a sharp v that bared his chest.

He eased me down onto the mattress and my breath hitched as the light reflected off of his pale skin, catching on the indentation of his collarbone and the small patch of chest hair that covered the centre of his chest.

I had only a second to appreciate the sight of his bare flesh before Loki moved to reciprocate the gesture, tugging at the hem of my shirt and lifting upwards. Without hesitation, I pulled it over my head and sent it to the floor where the rest of our clothes would soon join it. I smiled as he pulled his shirt over his head as well and then scooted back in bed as he joined me. He pulled me into his lap, his chest rising and falling rapidly, and I sat very still, studying him as his own eyes raked over me hungrily.

I took in every detail, committing it to memory. I let my gaze trail first over his middle and then to where he had been struck by chitauri the previous winter. I traced my fingers over the places I knew their claws had been, leaving cuts that I had cleaned and stitched so tediously before I turned my sight to the scar upon his shoulder that was raised and wrapped around his left shoulder towards his back. I carefully rested my fingers upon the scar, feeling the damaged tissue beneath my fingertips as I touched it without his interference for the first time. He'd told me it was a hunting scar, I remembered that.

"Tell me how you got this," I said softly.

"I fought with Amora many years ago," he replied, turning his head to follow my gaze. He glanced back at me, smirking at the surprise on my face, and explained carefully, "She wished for Thor, as you know, and when she could not have him, she wished to spite him. She attempted to kill Sif; I intervened at the last possible moment and stopped her from doing the unthinkable. Scars from such dark magic will never fade."

I was quiet, processing his story for a moment, then watched as he grasped my hand in his own. He raised it to his lips, which he pressed to the centre of my palm before he kissed each of my fingers individually. He lifted his gaze to meet my own as he finished and interlaced our fingers, holding my hand tight.

I rested my forehead against his, closing my eyes as his free hand ran along my side, his fingers trailing lightly across the skin of my back as he reached around to unhook my bra. I moved to kiss him as he pulled my bra away from my body and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer before pushing me back into bed. I breathed in slowly as he pulled away from my lips to leave light kisses along my cheek and to the underside of my jaw. I inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent - it was clean and sharp, with notes of minty soap and beneath that, a sulphur-like scent which I chocked up to the water in the cabin.

He bowed his head as he trailed his lips down and over my throat. I placed a hand at the base of his neck, sighing contentedly as his teeth found the most sensitive area of my throat. This was so different, so incredibly good compared to the last time I had found myself in this position with him. I sighed softly, pleasured, as he pulled away from the tender skin of my neck, kissing over my collarbone and down to my breasts.

I opened my eyes now, my fingers light in his hair as he toyed with my left breast first and then my right, his mouth hot on my nipples, his breathing shallow and quick. His hands were sure and steady as he fondled my chest and I watched as he abruptly pulled back, then lifted himself over me. His mouth was heavy against my own as he claimed my lips in another kiss and my back arched as I let out a breathy moan. My chest pressed against his own as he reached around me, one hand splaying across my bare back.

His hips pressed against mine and I let out another soft gasp against his lips, feeling the strain of the fabric at the front of his trousers. He did it again and I giggled against his lips now before I broke away from his mouth, kissing along his jaw before I took his earlobe between my teeth, nibbling it gently as I sighed in his ear.

"Is this all right?" he asked me as he pulled back and reached for the front of my jeans. He hesitated, his fingers on the button, and waited as I stared up at him.

"What?" I asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Is it all right for me to continue?" he said, lifting his eyebrows at me. "Do I have your permission to carry on?"

I blinked, surprised at the formality, and then nodded. "Yes, you do."

He unbuttoned my jeans, his eyes trailing along my body as he pulled the denim fabric away from my legs before he tossed it aside, forgetting it. I waited, watching as he stared down at me, and began to grow sheepish beneath his gaze. I knew what I looked like, I'd looked at myself quite closely in the mirror several times and had poked and prodded and picked at the imperfections that had seemingly arisen just during my confinement. I suddenly wondered if he was noting them as well, if he was as disgusted by the way I'd seemingly deteriorated as I was.

I was far thinner than I could ever recall being. My ribs were blatantly on display when I stood and when I laid down I could see the sharp protrusions of my hip bones, which had become more defined than ever before. There were faint scars across my arms from Amora that I expected would remain for months, if not years, to come and the scars from the chitauri still lingered across my middle. Any curves I'd had prior to my capture had disappeared with my healthy weight, leaving me willowy and practically shapeless.

How could he justify loving a woman like me when he saw this? There were better looking women, who were stronger and healthier, that were not simply scars and bones that served as a reminded of a year that had been Hell. Surely this sight would make him reconsider, would send him back, repulsed, just as the scars across my middle had months ago when we still called London our home and I was blissfully ignorant to how large in scope this quest truly was.

However, he suddenly leaned forward, kissing the scars that covered my lower abdomen, his fingers tracing over them lightly. I stiffened at the touch initially, shocked, and then began to relax, feeling the affection I held for him grow as he made a point to kiss each of the scars individually.

I sat up slightly as he hesitated, my eyes growing wide, and stared at him as he looked up at me, curious.

"What's wrong?" he asked me, voice hushed.

I shook my head as I realised the he was not planning to recoil or turn away from me. My fear was unfounded, nonsensical. It left a strange feeling of awe in me to see how much had changed. It was a relief and I welcomed it as I placed my hands upon his arms and gently pulled him up to the head of the bed, claiming his mouth with my own. My hands moved down to the front of his trousers, my fingers fumbling first on the button and then the zipper, but I succeeded and pushed the trousers from his hips.

Loki's breath hitched in his throat as I gripped his length in my hand, working it steadily, and his exhale was a shudder against my throat as he pulled back, mouthing over my jaw and back to the tenderest area of my neck. He pulled his fingers through my hair, his fingers knotting amongst the locks and pulling as I continued. I tightened my grasp, my hand pumping faster, and he shook his head, his breath shallow as he pressed his forehead to the crook of my neck.

_"Enough,"_ he growled suddenly and I faltered, stopping and caught off guard until I felt his finger hook around the waist of my panties. I lifted my hips just enough for him to pull away my underwear, which he smirked at.

"What are you grinning at?" I asked, my brow furrowing despite the grin that was pulling on my features.

"Nothing," he shook his head at me as he tossed the panties aside. When I lifted my eyebrows, his smirk only widened. Leaning close, he said quietly, "Simply admiring you."

I flushed, but then placed a hand upon the base of his neck and drew him in for another kiss, sighing with contentment as I felt one of his fingers upon my clit. He began to rub his fingers against it, holding me tightly, and I gripped for a fistful of his dark hair as I broke our kiss, a soft groan falling from my lips. I dragged my mouth across his cheek, moving to his ear, and gently took the tip of his ear between my teeth, nibbling it affectionately.

I reached for him again, my hand wrapping around his shaft which I began to work as his fingers continued on, teasing me. He carefully slid his pointer finger into my heat, wetting it, and then added another, prompting me to gasp softly, my eyes closing.

"Harder." His voice was soft and it was a request more than an order. I tightened my grasp upon him, continuing and he rested his forehead against my own, his breathing light, quick. He finally leaned in, kissing me gently, before he pulled away, his hand taking my own.

I opened my eyes, staring up at him, and found that his gaze was soft, curious. My hand tightened on his and I smiled as I clasped my hand upon the back up his head. I shifted when he moved, allowing him to brace himself above me as I settled myself beneath him.

"Are you certain?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

I nodded.

I was certain, positive that this was what I wanted.

Loki moved slowly, gradually pushing himself into my heat and filling me. I let out a gasp, my back arching as he did so, and my chest pressed against his own as I clasped my hands at the back of his head, fisting his hair. He repeated the act, gradually increasing his speed as we found a rhythm and I could feel my body beginning to relax beneath his touch.

He pulled my legs over his waist, angling my body against his own differently, and his mouth pressed to my ear, his tongue tracing the shell of it. I let out a soft groan as he pushed himself deeper inside of me and I gripped his shoulders. My hips continued to meet his as he thrust himself inside of me and I wrapped an arm around him, my hand splaying across his back as I held myself closer to him.

His fingers found my clit again as his movements became more hurried, his breathing ragged, and he began to rub his thumb against it, his mouth crashing down against my own. I took the kiss greedily, moaning against his lips as he touched at the sensitive skin, and closed my eyes, my hand sliding lower to the base of his spine as I rocked my hips upwards against his own again.

He broke our kiss, partially collapsing on top of me as he finished. His forehead pressed into the crook of my neck, slick with sweat, and his fingers continued on, gradually building pressure until I let out a cry, my legs trembling as I came beneath him.

I opened my eyes, turning slightly to breath in the smell of his hair, and smiled softly as I realised that he had yet to pull himself from my heat. It was a much more intimate gesture than anything he had done before. Loki remained on top of me, his breathing gradually slowing as his heart hammered in his chest wildly, and I combed my fingers through his hair as I stared at the ceiling, feeling full in every possible sense of the word.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against my throat after a few minutes.

"For what?" I asked, breathless. I turned my head towards him slightly, resting my cheek against his temple.

"I wished for you to finish first," he lifted his head, staring at me, and continued, "I ought to have been more considerate."

"You were plenty considerate," I said, shaking my head. "Don't be silly." He frowned, clearly wanting to say something else, and I shook my head at him, "Seriously. Unless you plan on getting up to walk out of here, I don't think you can do anything wrong right now."

He scowled at me, "That's not funny, Raleigh."

"It wasn't meant to be, Loki," I returned, my tone just as snotty as his. I rolled my eyes and then let out a soft, involuntary, groan as he finally pulled himself away from me. He rested his head in the crook of my neck again, clearly not interested in continuing the conversation, and I resumed combing my fingers through his hair.

"So what happens now? Can I get knocked up again?" I asked, still staring at the ceiling. It was a legitimate question and a legitimate fear. "And more to the point, what happens if I do?"

"In the morning," he said with a quiet sigh, "I will give you an aid to prevent any accidents. Perhaps when this is all finished you can go back on that pill women prattle on about."

I ignored the jab about birth control, which he was right about, and frowned at his nonchalance.

"Shouldn't we worry about it now though?" I lifted my eyebrows and he shook his head slightly, making a soft noise to substitute as 'no.' "Why?"

"Because we should not have any worries tonight," he replied, his voice soft. I smiled at the words and rested my hand upon his neck as he continued, his voice taking on a more mischievous note, "And, moreover, should you be willing, I'm not quite finished with you yet."

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_** A/N:**__ All right. Normally I leave very short and brisk notes at the end of my chapters. I don't like to dredge up any crap and I don't particularly open myself up or say much at all, from what I can see looking back. This time, however, I'd like to address an issue that has arisen regarding this story and this website._

_It has come to my attention that another user has sampled several major plot points of my story in his or her own work within this genre. I have received the links and have screenshots to both the user and story in question, however I do not feel it is necessary for me to share these with the readers of this story; let's just leave it at the simple fact that I have support to this claim. I have no desire to create any unnecessary drama, but I have a point I would like to make to anyone who has ever been inclined or inspired to write a Loki/OFC fic because of my work._

_I do not, and never have claimed otherwise, own Marvel characters or the express rights to a Loki/OFC fan-fiction. I openly make disclaimers at the beginning of each chapter which state I do not own any of the characters but OCs and the story itself. However, the plot of this story is of MY OWN design and I do take offence and issue with anyone who believes that it is acceptable to sample several major parts of my work in their own. This is my hard work, my research, and my own original creative ideas that are being ripped off and used by another user. _

_Furthermore, I know for a fact that this user is subscribed to this story and has been for several months, meaning - to me - that it is not a mere coincidence that these similarities have arisen. There comes a point in time when your similarities are not simple coincidence and that creates a very serious issue, in my opinion._

_I am open to the idea of other users sampling my ideas, however I am not open to other users sampling my ideas without my express permission or references to me (or my work) in such a story. If someone were to message me, asking if it would be okay to use a plot point that is very much mine, I will - nine times out of ten - agree and have absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. This is fan-fiction, I'm not very likely to care if you ask because again, I don't have exclusive rights. However, I find it to be highly unprofessional, rude, disrespectful, and sneaky for another author to sample work without even acknowledging where the idea came from. Especially when a user in question claims to be a professional and to do research of their own. This applies to any author who steals (exclusive) ideas from another._

_I'm not talking about a Dark!Loki versus a Nice!Loki trope, nor am I talking about other common elements that you find in Loki fic (rough sex, etc.) because I don't see that as being a plot device or a major point of my own. I'm talking about stuff that actually moves this story along (think miscarriage, relationships, etc.)._

_I recently came into contact with a blog that runs mockups of editorial articles surrounding the Avengers and Marvel characters and asked for the author's express permission to mention her work in my own in the future. I also assured her that I would reference both she and her blog anytime I sampled her work and intend to link her to my work that way she can see that I am doing what I promised her. _

_The reason I mention this? Because that is professionalism. It should exist even within fan-fiction community because while this is for fun, it is still another person's creative work and while they may not own the universe, the canon characters, or the worlds, they do own the plots and the ideas. It is another person's hard work, research, time, and effort._

___I apologise if this comes across as being "petty," however I will not back down from this stance regarding my work. I am extremely offended by this act and I am currently contemplating pursuing it with the website. I would do this regardless of whether or not it was fan-fiction or an original story of my own due to the principle of the matter._

_You never have the right to sample another user's hard work without their permission._

_Use your own ideas. Not mine. Not anyone else's. _

_**Tl;dr:** Don't touch my shit._

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**Reviews**

**NoVacancyMind:** Haha, I think her foolishness might've paid off. I'm glad you like her, there will be plenty of her to come in the future. She's a pretty cool character in my opinion; very strong and no-nonsense. You did! But it's a nice reminder. :) Lovely place.  
**Loki'sdreamer:** Indeed she did! Veronica's definitely been a bitch since I first introduced her, I think. Only keeping with what we already know. I like to think that Susan is more of a "tough love" kind of woman than a bitch, but I'm quite fond of her character personally.  
**KMD88:** Thank you. :)  
**Hailey Stone:** While reviews are always appreciated, I would rather not entertain this one, if only because I have no idea why you harbour such hate for a character who has not only been good for progressing the storyline, but also one who holds his own merits that are worth respect. However, I will say that if you don't care for Jim, you won't like the sequel as he plays quite the important role in that.  
**Ithil Aerlinn:** I hope it exceeded expectations?! Thank you very much - you're very kind and I greatly appreciate it.  
**CharmiaArkenstone:** Thank you! Much appreciated. xxx  
**Dreams of Shadows:** I'll endeavour to update when I can. :)  
**Lee:** Have all the moments you like! Thank you very much. I'm really glad that you like the story as much as you do and hope that you'll continue to enjoy it until the very end.  
**Poodle warriors:** I like to think that it led to something quite nice for the two of them, haha.  
**Time Lady 945:** I think he might've gotten the hint? How are you confused exactly? Just wondering if I can be of any help. Thank you!  
**kearabee:** Thank you for your incredibly kind review. I was very flattered and it meant a lot to read. I've been endeavouring to send all of these last chapters off to my Beta to make sure that the end of this story is the best it can be from a quality and plot standpoint. I don't want to have built it all up only to deliver nothing of substance.  
**Dontgotaclue88:** Thanks!  
**Guest: **That song holds many memories for me, haha. Pretty neat that it reminded you of this story though; thanks. :) xx

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_Thanks to anyone who read/reviewed and followed or favoured. Very generous of you._


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